1
00:00:02,716 --> 00:00:04,801
Hey, Jake, guess who just called me?
2
00:00:04,885 --> 00:00:06,511
The Jerky Boys. They're back!
3
00:00:06,595 --> 00:00:07,596
No. What?
4
00:00:07,846 --> 00:00:09,014
No. No.
5
00:00:09,181 --> 00:00:11,890
DC Parlov. He's in town for Legend Con,
6
00:00:11,974 --> 00:00:13,100
and he has a case for us!
7
00:00:13,184 --> 00:00:14,768
Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God!
8
00:00:14,852 --> 00:00:15,852
Parlov? Didn't he write
9
00:00:15,936 --> 00:00:16,937
those Skyfire books?
10
00:00:17,021 --> 00:00:18,021
I thought he turned out to be a jerk.
11
00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:20,440
Yeah, but ever since
Jake and I saved his life,
12
00:00:20,524 --> 00:00:21,974
he's actually been very nice.
13
00:00:22,318 --> 00:00:23,819
He even sent me a Christmas gift.
14
00:00:23,903 --> 00:00:27,613
A full-scale replica of
the sword of Opadoma.
15
00:00:27,697 --> 00:00:29,073
-[GROANS]
-DIAZ: Why are you so excited?
16
00:00:29,157 --> 00:00:30,283
You don't care about those stupid books.
17
00:00:30,367 --> 00:00:32,410
I actually did read
all of them in prison.
18
00:00:32,494 --> 00:00:33,828
They are the greatest
books I've ever read,
19
00:00:33,912 --> 00:00:34,912
and I've read Cujo.
20
00:00:34,996 --> 00:00:37,373
Jake and I really bonded over Skyfire.
21
00:00:37,457 --> 00:00:38,666
Yeah. Watch this.
22
00:00:38,750 --> 00:00:39,834
Favorite moment in the series?
23
00:00:39,918 --> 00:00:42,003
BOTH: The summoning of Balacastro.
24
00:00:42,087 --> 00:00:44,422
-Second favorite?
-BOTH: The Scarlet Feast!
25
00:00:44,506 --> 00:00:46,673
-Third favorite?
-BOTH: When you thought Ka'lar
26
00:00:46,757 --> 00:00:48,258
had been swallowed by the Norolith,
27
00:00:48,342 --> 00:00:49,593
but had just switched armor
28
00:00:49,677 --> 00:00:52,721
with Samling the Betrayer
in the battle of Vorcastle.
29
00:00:52,805 --> 00:00:54,639
-[BOTH LAUGH]
-Fourth favorite?
30
00:00:54,723 --> 00:00:56,016
Three was plenty. So was zero.
31
00:00:56,100 --> 00:00:58,101
Okay, I can see that
you're skeptical, Rosa,
32
00:00:58,185 --> 00:01:00,645
but how about this,
come with us on the case!
33
00:01:00,729 --> 00:01:02,897
I know you think it's
dumb, but Skyfire is actually
34
00:01:02,981 --> 00:01:04,690
very smart and dark and adult.
35
00:01:04,774 --> 00:01:06,066
It's not for nerds at all.
36
00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:07,234
Ooh! On our way there,
37
00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:08,694
should we sing the elvish hunting song?
38
00:01:08,778 --> 00:01:10,070
[LAUGHS]
39
00:01:10,154 --> 00:01:12,156
BOTH: Sharpen your
swords And string your bows
40
00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:13,991
The beasts have gone away
41
00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:16,994
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
42
00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:36,596
Whoa, look at this place!
43
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,806
Ooh, they're selling moss wine.
44
00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:41,099
I wonder if it's as gross
as the books say it is.
45
00:01:41,183 --> 00:01:42,601
I can never get into any of this crap.
46
00:01:42,685 --> 00:01:44,478
I think the reason is
because it's garbage.
47
00:01:44,562 --> 00:01:46,188
Rosa, I think if you
just gave it a chance,
48
00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:47,397
you would get hooked. I mean,
49
00:01:47,481 --> 00:01:49,775
what is it that you do in
your free time that's so cool?
50
00:01:49,859 --> 00:01:51,526
Fix up old cars and
sell them to celebrities.
51
00:01:51,610 --> 00:01:52,736
That's why I'm friends with Tom Hardy.
52
00:01:52,820 --> 00:01:54,905
Right, so we agree that
we're all equally cool.
53
00:01:54,989 --> 00:01:56,823
Here we go. This is Parlov's panel.
54
00:01:56,907 --> 00:01:58,449
"Diversity in Fantasy Writing."
55
00:01:58,533 --> 00:02:00,160
Ooh, the line starts here.
56
00:02:01,870 --> 00:02:03,746
Real diverse diversity panel.
57
00:02:03,830 --> 00:02:05,539
And, like, people always ask me,
58
00:02:05,623 --> 00:02:06,916
"Where do you get your ideas?"
59
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,918
And honestly, Wikipedia.
60
00:02:09,002 --> 00:02:10,461
PARLOV: I always try to pull from life.
61
00:02:10,545 --> 00:02:12,254
Queen Tiffany, of course, was named after
62
00:02:12,338 --> 00:02:13,464
a lovely hostess that I met
63
00:02:13,548 --> 00:02:15,174
in Bonita Springs in Florida.
64
00:02:15,258 --> 00:02:17,425
You know, I've always
wanted to write a book myself,
65
00:02:17,509 --> 00:02:19,469
but all I know about is
cops, and there are literally
66
00:02:19,553 --> 00:02:21,262
no more cop stories to tell. Zero.
67
00:02:21,346 --> 00:02:22,597
I've actually been writing a novel.
68
00:02:22,681 --> 00:02:24,140
Wait, what? You're writing a book?
69
00:02:24,224 --> 00:02:25,350
When? For who?
70
00:02:25,434 --> 00:02:26,893
For me. For fun.
71
00:02:26,977 --> 00:02:28,395
Look, I'm not trying to be an author.
72
00:02:28,479 --> 00:02:30,063
I don't even know how
to go about doing that.
73
00:02:30,147 --> 00:02:31,898
Parlov! You should show it to Parlov.
74
00:02:31,982 --> 00:02:32,982
He could probably get it published.
75
00:02:33,066 --> 00:02:35,026
No, that's crazy.
76
00:02:35,151 --> 00:02:36,235
Like, I'm sure it's bad.
77
00:02:36,319 --> 00:02:37,444
I don't want to be embarrassed.
78
00:02:37,528 --> 00:02:39,363
Terry, you are a great husband,
79
00:02:39,447 --> 00:02:41,198
father, detective, painter, dancer,
80
00:02:41,282 --> 00:02:43,158
and you're so jacked you
have muscles on your back.
81
00:02:43,242 --> 00:02:44,493
Everyone has back muscles, Jake.
82
00:02:44,577 --> 00:02:47,037
Nuh-huh, my back looks
like the inside of a spoon.
83
00:02:47,121 --> 00:02:48,497
But the point is, you're
great at everything.
84
00:02:48,581 --> 00:02:49,707
You're probably great at writing, too.
85
00:02:49,791 --> 00:02:51,583
I am not showing Parlov my book, okay?
86
00:02:51,667 --> 00:02:52,668
All right.
87
00:02:53,668 --> 00:02:55,337
Here he comes. Now just drop it.
88
00:02:56,546 --> 00:02:58,589
Sorry, I hope that
wasn't too tedious for you.
89
00:02:58,673 --> 00:03:00,758
It was fascinating, especially to Terry.
90
00:03:00,842 --> 00:03:02,051
He's a writer, and he wrote a book.
91
00:03:02,135 --> 00:03:03,344
-Would you read it?
-BOTH: Dude!
92
00:03:03,428 --> 00:03:05,138
Sure. Love to, absolutely.
93
00:03:05,222 --> 00:03:06,806
But listen, there's
something I want you to see.
94
00:03:06,890 --> 00:03:08,390
Come with me, guys, all right?
95
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:09,642
Jake! What?
96
00:03:09,726 --> 00:03:11,560
Terry, you need to believe in yourself,
97
00:03:11,644 --> 00:03:13,812
like when Morzak answered
the sorceress' riddle!
98
00:03:13,896 --> 00:03:15,188
She turned him into a tree, Jake.
99
00:03:15,272 --> 00:03:16,523
Yeah, a tree that became
100
00:03:16,607 --> 00:03:17,899
the handle of Prominius' axe.
101
00:03:17,983 --> 00:03:19,359
Parlov is so far away already.
102
00:03:19,443 --> 00:03:21,243
Yeah, good call. Let's go after him.
103
00:03:21,487 --> 00:03:22,487
-[KNOCK AT DOOR]
-BOYLE: Hey.
104
00:03:22,571 --> 00:03:23,739
The desk sergeant said we're hosting
105
00:03:23,823 --> 00:03:25,240
a forensic sciences course.
106
00:03:25,324 --> 00:03:28,243
Yes, taught by Dr. Ronald Yee.
107
00:03:28,327 --> 00:03:30,870
He revolutionized the
field of forensic entomology.
108
00:03:30,954 --> 00:03:31,954
He is a rock star.
109
00:03:32,038 --> 00:03:33,956
Oh, please. Rock stars wish they were he.
110
00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:36,041
The man can tell how long a
corpse had been decomposing
111
00:03:36,125 --> 00:03:37,918
just by studying the maggots inside.
112
00:03:38,002 --> 00:03:39,378
I'd like to see Barbra Streisand do that.
113
00:03:39,462 --> 00:03:40,463
I'm not sure Barbra Streisand
114
00:03:40,547 --> 00:03:41,714
counts as a rock star, sir.
115
00:03:41,798 --> 00:03:43,424
She sings in English. That's rock music.
116
00:03:43,508 --> 00:03:45,608
Well, it sounds interesting.
Can I sign up?
117
00:03:47,011 --> 00:03:49,346
Yes, you can,
118
00:03:49,471 --> 00:03:51,723
but here's the thing, if
we do well at this course,
119
00:03:51,807 --> 00:03:53,391
we receive board certification,
120
00:03:53,475 --> 00:03:55,518
which makes us
eligible to receive a grant
121
00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:57,812
to open a field lab in the precinct,
122
00:03:57,896 --> 00:03:59,648
but…
123
00:03:59,898 --> 00:04:02,859
Eh, but whenever we
have a speaker come in,
124
00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:05,153
you kind of tend to always
125
00:04:05,237 --> 00:04:07,362
derail these things
with personal stories.
126
00:04:07,446 --> 00:04:08,989
That's how I learn.
I relate course material
127
00:04:09,073 --> 00:04:10,073
to my experiences.
128
00:04:10,157 --> 00:04:11,325
Subjective learning.
129
00:04:11,826 --> 00:04:12,827
Millennials.
130
00:04:12,994 --> 00:04:14,620
I know it's important, so I promise,
131
00:04:14,704 --> 00:04:15,913
I won't tell any stories,
132
00:04:15,997 --> 00:04:17,623
though sometimes they do come in handy.
133
00:04:17,707 --> 00:04:18,999
One time, all the Boyles were
134
00:04:19,083 --> 00:04:21,335
in this fungus cavern, and
this massive mushroom comes…
135
00:04:21,419 --> 00:04:22,753
Charles. I am so sorry.
136
00:04:22,837 --> 00:04:24,737
I slipped right into it. I'll be good.
137
00:04:25,130 --> 00:04:26,881
This is my room, right over here.
138
00:04:26,965 --> 00:04:28,591
Listen, I need just a moment to clean up.
139
00:04:28,675 --> 00:04:30,593
I had a female visitor in earlier today
140
00:04:30,677 --> 00:04:31,803
dressed as Concubina.
141
00:04:31,887 --> 00:04:33,805
She got smears of green body paint
142
00:04:33,889 --> 00:04:34,973
all over everything.
143
00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:36,641
Everything.
144
00:04:39,603 --> 00:04:40,603
He was talking about his penis.
145
00:04:40,687 --> 00:04:42,063
I know, Jake. He pulls, Rosa.
146
00:04:42,147 --> 00:04:43,146
He pulls. That's all I'm saying.
147
00:04:43,230 --> 00:04:44,606
I can't believe you
told him about my book.
148
00:04:44,690 --> 00:04:45,732
I'm sorry, Terry,
149
00:04:45,816 --> 00:04:48,276
but now DC Parlov is
going to read what you wrote!
150
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:49,361
How cool is that?
151
00:04:49,445 --> 00:04:51,071
He's pretty cool. Right?
152
00:04:51,155 --> 00:04:52,739
You haven't even told
me what it's about yet.
153
00:04:52,823 --> 00:04:54,366
Well, it's the story of a Gorgon warrior…
154
00:04:54,450 --> 00:04:55,575
Awesome… who betrays his bloodline…
155
00:04:55,659 --> 00:04:57,452
-How could he?
-…to marry a Cloud Princess…
156
00:04:57,536 --> 00:04:58,537
He did it for love. Even though
157
00:04:58,621 --> 00:04:59,913
their families are at war. No!
158
00:04:59,997 --> 00:05:01,163
All right, no more spoilers.
159
00:05:01,247 --> 00:05:03,582
Send it over to me, and I'm
gonna stay up all night reading it.
160
00:05:03,666 --> 00:05:04,792
It's only 150 pages.
161
00:05:04,876 --> 00:05:07,086
I'm gonna stay up all the
next three nights reading it.
162
00:05:07,170 --> 00:05:08,671
Dr. Yee will be here any minute,
163
00:05:08,755 --> 00:05:10,297
and we need to make a good impression.
164
00:05:10,381 --> 00:05:11,431
If you need to cough,
165
00:05:12,550 --> 00:05:13,551
cough now.
166
00:05:13,635 --> 00:05:15,344
[COUGHING OBNOXIOUSLY]
167
00:05:15,428 --> 00:05:17,054
My God, what if I hadn't said anything?
168
00:05:17,138 --> 00:05:18,389
Don't worry, I got this.
169
00:05:18,473 --> 00:05:20,098
Nobody sucks up like a Boyle.
170
00:05:20,182 --> 00:05:21,182
Our scoliosis allows us
171
00:05:21,266 --> 00:05:23,184
to bow more deeply than normal people.
172
00:05:23,268 --> 00:05:25,895
Huh, here's an idea,
Santiago and I will impress him
173
00:05:25,979 --> 00:05:27,564
with the depth of our forensic knowledge,
174
00:05:27,648 --> 00:05:29,732
and you can wow him
175
00:05:29,816 --> 00:05:32,277
with your stoic, silent demeanor.
176
00:05:32,361 --> 00:05:34,153
No stories. Understood?
177
00:05:34,237 --> 00:05:35,238
Stoic. Ah.
178
00:05:35,322 --> 00:05:36,615
Good morning, everyone.
179
00:05:36,781 --> 00:05:38,991
Thank you for having me at the Nine-Nine.
180
00:05:39,075 --> 00:05:41,875
Sorry I'm late.
Just had to deal with some family issues.
181
00:05:42,328 --> 00:05:43,663
Cousins, right?
182
00:05:44,330 --> 00:05:45,747
Okay, before we get technical,
183
00:05:45,831 --> 00:05:47,541
let's talk a bit about
the history of blood.
184
00:05:47,625 --> 00:05:49,167
Does anyone here know any hemophiliacs?
185
00:05:49,251 --> 00:05:50,878
[WHISPERING] So many…
186
00:05:50,962 --> 00:05:51,962
Now, they played a vital role
187
00:05:52,046 --> 00:05:53,505
in the development of modern forensics.
188
00:05:53,589 --> 00:05:55,339
Them and leeches.
189
00:05:55,423 --> 00:05:57,133
My cousin Torvald is a hemophiliac,
190
00:05:57,217 --> 00:05:58,426
and his wife is a leech farmer.
191
00:05:58,510 --> 00:06:00,553
I say "wife," but it's a
common-law marriage.
192
00:06:00,637 --> 00:06:02,471
For the longest time,
Boyle wedding ceremonies
193
00:06:02,555 --> 00:06:04,205
were not recognized in the state.
194
00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:05,725
Well, here's the situation,
195
00:06:05,809 --> 00:06:07,226
somebody stole my laptop,
196
00:06:07,310 --> 00:06:08,978
which contained the
unpublished manuscript
197
00:06:09,062 --> 00:06:11,147
of book 13 of The Skyfire Cycle.
198
00:06:12,065 --> 00:06:13,565
The person left this note.
199
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:15,358
"We have your book.
200
00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:17,777
"Pay us $500,000 in the next 24 hours
201
00:06:17,861 --> 00:06:19,279
"or we leak it online.
202
00:06:19,363 --> 00:06:21,072
"The first five chapters are now up."
203
00:06:21,156 --> 00:06:23,241
They've been downloaded 85,000 times.
204
00:06:23,325 --> 00:06:24,451
Well, we should probably go online
205
00:06:24,535 --> 00:06:26,745
and read those chapters in
case there's some clues in there,
206
00:06:26,829 --> 00:06:29,331
and also maybe we'll find
out Qwandor's true parentage?
207
00:06:29,415 --> 00:06:30,624
Oh, that's already been revealed.
208
00:06:30,708 --> 00:06:32,207
No, it hasn't. [GASPS]
209
00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:35,210
BOTH: Unless the prophecy
of Dorgon is indeed true!
210
00:06:35,294 --> 00:06:36,295
But that would mean…
211
00:06:36,379 --> 00:06:37,546
You seem pretty calm for somebody
212
00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:38,631
whose book was just stolen.
213
00:06:38,715 --> 00:06:39,924
Because I know who took it.
214
00:06:40,008 --> 00:06:41,008
Landon Lawson.
215
00:06:41,092 --> 00:06:42,092
He was on that panel.
216
00:06:42,176 --> 00:06:44,595
He writes The Shadowbringer Saga.
It's garbage.
217
00:06:44,679 --> 00:06:46,722
So why would Lawson want
to steal your manuscript?
218
00:06:46,806 --> 00:06:48,349
We both have books coming out this fall,
219
00:06:48,433 --> 00:06:49,557
and we have a rather public bet
220
00:06:49,641 --> 00:06:50,767
about whose is going to sell better.
221
00:06:50,851 --> 00:06:53,061
I believe he's leaking
my manuscript online
222
00:06:53,145 --> 00:06:54,646
just to hurt my sales.
223
00:06:54,980 --> 00:06:56,564
You should arrest him.
Well, we're not going to
224
00:06:56,648 --> 00:06:58,232
do anything until we've
seen all the evidence.
225
00:06:58,316 --> 00:06:59,400
If this book fails,
226
00:06:59,484 --> 00:07:00,944
that's the end of Skyfire.
227
00:07:01,028 --> 00:07:03,155
Let's go take this son of a bitch down!
228
00:07:04,322 --> 00:07:05,531
Mr. Lawson? NYPD.
229
00:07:05,615 --> 00:07:08,367
Let me guess, you're here
about the stolen manuscript?
230
00:07:08,451 --> 00:07:11,453
So you admit you did it?
Well, that was easy.
231
00:07:11,537 --> 00:07:13,956
What? No. Someone stole my manuscript,
232
00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:15,332
and I know who it was,
233
00:07:15,958 --> 00:07:17,126
DC Parlov.
234
00:07:17,793 --> 00:07:19,795
BOTH: By Zorton's Sword!
235
00:07:21,756 --> 00:07:24,049
It's the exact same note Parlov got.
236
00:07:24,133 --> 00:07:26,467
I don't see why anybody
would want to steal your book.
237
00:07:26,551 --> 00:07:28,678
The Skyfire Cycle makes
The Shadowbringer Saga
238
00:07:28,762 --> 00:07:30,429
look like The BeastWorm Chronicles.
239
00:07:30,513 --> 00:07:32,223
You see, Rosa, The BeastWorm Chronicles
240
00:07:32,307 --> 00:07:33,307
are one of the more simplistic..
. Don't care.
241
00:07:33,391 --> 00:07:34,558
-Yeah.
-LAWSON: You know what?
242
00:07:34,642 --> 00:07:36,519
My books say something, okay?
243
00:07:36,603 --> 00:07:39,146
I was the only one brave
enough to tackle elf molestation.
244
00:07:39,230 --> 00:07:41,524
Guys, calm down. You're both victims.
245
00:07:41,649 --> 00:07:43,484
Now, do you have any enemies in common?
246
00:07:43,568 --> 00:07:45,860
Let me think about that.
Parlov is my enemy,
247
00:07:45,944 --> 00:07:47,070
but he's also his own enemy,
248
00:07:47,154 --> 00:07:49,322
because he's such a
boring and repetitive writer.
249
00:07:49,406 --> 00:07:51,074
He just keeps killing off characters,
250
00:07:51,158 --> 00:07:52,826
resurrecting them,
and killing 'em off again.
251
00:07:52,910 --> 00:07:54,160
Because of the Chrysalis Orb!
252
00:07:54,244 --> 00:07:55,245
Uh, sorry.
253
00:07:55,329 --> 00:07:56,663
Police officer, on a case.
254
00:07:56,747 --> 00:07:58,081
But we will need you to both generate
255
00:07:58,165 --> 00:07:59,833
actual lists of people
that might want to hurt you.
256
00:07:59,917 --> 00:08:01,084
We have 24 hours to figure this out,
257
00:08:01,168 --> 00:08:02,876
but if we don't, are you
willing to pay the ransom?
258
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:04,378
PARLOV: I'd do anything
to get my book back.
259
00:08:04,462 --> 00:08:06,380
I mean, you understand. You're a writer.
260
00:08:06,464 --> 00:08:08,814
Do you hear that, Terry?
He called you a writer.
261
00:08:09,217 --> 00:08:11,302
Terry, did you hear? Terry?
262
00:08:11,469 --> 00:08:12,803
Well, Terry's broken.
Write up those lists.
263
00:08:12,887 --> 00:08:13,888
We're on the case.
264
00:08:14,722 --> 00:08:15,723
YEE: Welcome back.
265
00:08:16,265 --> 00:08:19,226
So today, I want to focus
on facial reconstruction.
266
00:08:19,310 --> 00:08:21,144
For over a century, we used plaster casts
267
00:08:21,228 --> 00:08:24,063
to help identify decomposed
John and Jane Does.
268
00:08:24,147 --> 00:08:26,441
We buried my Nana
Boyle at the family farm,
269
00:08:26,525 --> 00:08:28,276
but because of the
soil's high salt content,
270
00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:29,402
she turned into jerky.
271
00:08:29,486 --> 00:08:30,737
Never mind. Please continue.
272
00:08:30,821 --> 00:08:32,405
Now, I need one person per group
273
00:08:32,489 --> 00:08:34,240
to have a plaster cast
made of their head.
274
00:08:34,324 --> 00:08:37,744
Uh, will he or she be able to speak?
275
00:08:37,828 --> 00:08:38,994
Not while the plaster's on, no.
276
00:08:39,078 --> 00:08:40,245
I vote Charles. Charles.
277
00:08:40,329 --> 00:08:41,580
I was gonna vote me, too.
278
00:08:41,664 --> 00:08:43,623
I mean, I know the plaster
can dry out your skin,
279
00:08:43,707 --> 00:08:45,542
but as a Boyle, I'm aggressively moist.
280
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:48,003
Oop, you gotta close that mouth, Boyle.
281
00:08:48,087 --> 00:08:49,629
[SHUSHING]
282
00:08:49,713 --> 00:08:51,882
Keep still and quiet.
283
00:08:54,009 --> 00:08:55,385
Have you been here all night?
284
00:08:55,469 --> 00:08:57,136
We traded off, and each slept a few hours
285
00:08:57,220 --> 00:08:58,220
right here in the break room,
286
00:08:58,304 --> 00:08:59,555
but we got a lead.
287
00:08:59,639 --> 00:09:01,057
You know Miles Moorgil?
288
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:03,225
He wrote The Nocturine Quartet novels.
289
00:09:03,309 --> 00:09:05,227
Well, Moorgil is the only person
290
00:09:05,311 --> 00:09:08,815
on both Parlov and Lawson's
lists of potential enemies.
291
00:09:09,065 --> 00:09:11,275
Apparently, they
each slept with his wife.
292
00:09:11,359 --> 00:09:13,319
How do these guys do so well with women?
293
00:09:13,403 --> 00:09:14,528
Oh, I'm sorry they don't live up
294
00:09:14,612 --> 00:09:17,072
to your superficial standards
of male beauty, Rosa.
295
00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:18,406
I'm kidding. It's because they're rich.
296
00:09:18,490 --> 00:09:19,991
JEFFORDS: Moorgil's
here for the conference.
297
00:09:20,075 --> 00:09:22,660
We're gonna go confront
him and get the laptops back.
298
00:09:22,744 --> 00:09:25,956
Then, maybe, we can see
if Parlov read my book yet.
299
00:09:26,290 --> 00:09:28,416
Oh, well, I mean, it's
been less than a day.
300
00:09:28,500 --> 00:09:29,501
Maybe don't get your hopes up.
301
00:09:29,585 --> 00:09:31,419
Don't worry.
I don't have any expectations.
302
00:09:31,503 --> 00:09:33,171
Good. I'm gonna be at my phone,
303
00:09:33,255 --> 00:09:35,714
just in case a publisher calls.
I mean, someone.
304
00:09:35,798 --> 00:09:37,424
Yeah. Whatever.
305
00:09:37,508 --> 00:09:39,051
It's fine. My hopes are up.
306
00:09:39,177 --> 00:09:40,761
[CHUCKLING] All right, buddy.
307
00:09:41,137 --> 00:09:42,137
I couldn't sleep last night,
308
00:09:42,221 --> 00:09:44,640
so I started reading
Terry's book, and it's terrible.
309
00:09:44,724 --> 00:09:46,767
I made him show it to Parlov.
He's gonna be humiliated.
310
00:09:46,851 --> 00:09:48,143
Relax. How bad could it be?
311
00:09:48,227 --> 00:09:50,354
So bad, and I'm
entertained by everything.
312
00:09:50,438 --> 00:09:51,854
I once went to a play.
313
00:09:51,938 --> 00:09:53,106
So what are you gonna do about Parlov?
314
00:09:53,190 --> 00:09:54,690
I don't know. Don't know what?
315
00:09:54,774 --> 00:09:57,485
Uh, how to do sex good.
316
00:09:57,569 --> 00:09:59,529
How much should I be
flapping my arms around?
317
00:09:59,613 --> 00:10:01,948
Not much. Right, well, that settles that.
318
00:10:02,157 --> 00:10:04,325
I knew that Amy was wrong. [CHUCKLES]
319
00:10:04,409 --> 00:10:05,827
Anyways, let's get
back on the case, right?
320
00:10:05,911 --> 00:10:07,120
Skyfire Cycle.
321
00:10:07,954 --> 00:10:09,955
YEE: Okay, now that the plaster's drying,
322
00:10:10,039 --> 00:10:11,957
you'll see why we
lubricated the subject's face
323
00:10:12,041 --> 00:10:13,459
with Vaseline first.
324
00:10:13,751 --> 00:10:15,211
Oh, no, we forgot the lube.
325
00:10:16,795 --> 00:10:18,130
Charles, can you hear us?
326
00:10:18,756 --> 00:10:20,299
Oh, what do we do?
327
00:10:21,342 --> 00:10:23,218
Doctor, uh, what if someone,
328
00:10:23,302 --> 00:10:25,011
no one in this room, mind you,
329
00:10:25,095 --> 00:10:27,139
forgot to lubricate before
applying the plaster?
330
00:10:27,223 --> 00:10:29,515
Oh, one of my lab techs
made that mistake once.
331
00:10:29,599 --> 00:10:31,350
It becomes impossible to remove the mask
332
00:10:31,434 --> 00:10:33,185
without literally
skinning the subject alive.
333
00:10:33,269 --> 00:10:34,728
It takes five days for the plaster
334
00:10:34,812 --> 00:10:35,813
to slough off on its own.
335
00:10:35,897 --> 00:10:37,189
And what became of the lab tech?
336
00:10:37,273 --> 00:10:38,274
Oh, I fired him.
337
00:10:38,358 --> 00:10:40,067
It was an unacceptable
level of incompetence.
338
00:10:40,151 --> 00:10:42,444
Huh, what a satisfying
conclusion to that story.
339
00:10:42,528 --> 00:10:43,529
Boyle! Mmm.
340
00:10:43,613 --> 00:10:44,697
A mistake was made
341
00:10:44,781 --> 00:10:46,156
and we can't remove your mask yet.
342
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:47,407
We're gonna leave you in here… Hmm.
343
00:10:47,491 --> 00:10:49,200
…until after the class is over,
344
00:10:49,284 --> 00:10:51,077
because if Dr. Yee sees you like this,
345
00:10:51,161 --> 00:10:53,037
we can kiss our certification goodbye.
346
00:10:53,121 --> 00:10:54,330
[MUFFLED PROTEST]
347
00:10:54,414 --> 00:10:57,041
I'm sorry, Boyle, but
Hitchcock and Scully
348
00:10:57,125 --> 00:10:58,126
will be here with you.
349
00:10:58,210 --> 00:11:00,753
[MUFFLED SHOUTING]
350
00:11:00,837 --> 00:11:02,463
I don't know, Captain.
He seems pretty upset.
351
00:11:02,547 --> 00:11:04,423
Hold on. Mmm!
352
00:11:08,010 --> 00:11:09,011
Look how happy he is now.
353
00:11:09,095 --> 00:11:10,554
[MUFFLED GROANING]
354
00:11:10,638 --> 00:11:12,139
Yes, you're welcome, Boyle.
355
00:11:13,099 --> 00:11:14,099
MOORGIL: I don't understand.
356
00:11:14,183 --> 00:11:16,143
Why do you think I
would steal those laptops?
357
00:11:16,227 --> 00:11:17,936
Parlov and Lawson are your rivals.
358
00:11:18,020 --> 00:11:19,396
You're jealous of their success.
359
00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:21,273
And of course, you
have a personal motive.
360
00:11:21,357 --> 00:11:23,482
You hate them for
sleeping with your wife.
361
00:11:23,566 --> 00:11:24,901
What? They slept with my wife?
362
00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:27,153
And you didn't know. [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
363
00:11:27,445 --> 00:11:28,738
Well, this is awkward.
We should probably just go.
364
00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:30,114
-Jessica!
-PERALTA: She's here.
365
00:11:30,198 --> 00:11:31,866
That's wonderful. Yes, sweets?
366
00:11:32,075 --> 00:11:35,120
Did you sleep with DC
Parlov and Landon Lawson?
367
00:11:36,121 --> 00:11:37,788
Uh… Why would you do that?
368
00:11:37,872 --> 00:11:39,582
You've ruined our marriage.
You've ruined it!
369
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:42,209
You know, this seems like a
conversation for just you two.
370
00:11:42,293 --> 00:11:43,743
So… Oop, here comes a child.
371
00:11:43,961 --> 00:11:45,003
Mommy? Daddy?
372
00:11:45,087 --> 00:11:46,337
Are you getting divorced?
373
00:11:47,256 --> 00:11:48,556
Are they getting divorced?
374
00:11:48,841 --> 00:11:50,968
BOTH: Uh…
375
00:11:51,260 --> 00:11:52,260
Oof.
376
00:11:52,344 --> 00:11:54,054
Okay, that was a rough 70 minutes.
377
00:11:54,138 --> 00:11:56,223
Yeah, but…
That kid looked exactly like Parlov?
378
00:11:56,307 --> 00:11:57,349
100%.
379
00:11:57,433 --> 00:11:58,851
BOTH: Oh…
380
00:11:58,975 --> 00:12:00,768
Anyways, that was our last lead,
381
00:12:00,852 --> 00:12:03,646
so looks like we're
back at the Nil Caverns.
382
00:12:04,314 --> 00:12:06,857
Did you just say "the Nil Caverns"? Hmm?
383
00:12:06,941 --> 00:12:08,567
Like, from my book? Uh, yep.
384
00:12:08,651 --> 00:12:10,903
Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm,
I did, because you told me about them
385
00:12:10,987 --> 00:12:12,363
when you were explaining the plot.
386
00:12:12,447 --> 00:12:14,365
I didn't, but that's because
I wanted the Nil Caverns
387
00:12:14,449 --> 00:12:15,450
to be a surprise.
388
00:12:16,534 --> 00:12:18,660
Why didn't you tell me
you read my book, Jake?
389
00:12:18,744 --> 00:12:19,744
Uh… Oh, no.
390
00:12:19,828 --> 00:12:20,995
You hated it. What?
391
00:12:21,079 --> 00:12:23,581
Terry, no, I didn't hate it.
392
00:12:23,665 --> 00:12:24,958
I liked tons of parts.
393
00:12:25,042 --> 00:12:26,042
Name one.
394
00:12:26,126 --> 00:12:28,045
Name one part you liked, Jake.
395
00:12:28,962 --> 00:12:30,797
The map? I didn't draw that!
396
00:12:30,881 --> 00:12:32,382
It was a map of the Chesapeake Bay
397
00:12:32,466 --> 00:12:34,050
with the names slightly changed!
398
00:12:34,134 --> 00:12:35,718
[GASPS] Oh, my God.
399
00:12:36,761 --> 00:12:38,262
You made me show Parlov.
400
00:12:38,512 --> 00:12:40,890
You humiliated me in front of my hero!
401
00:12:41,932 --> 00:12:43,725
Sarge, I'm sorry.
402
00:12:43,809 --> 00:12:45,018
Look, I didn't just like the map.
403
00:12:45,102 --> 00:12:47,896
I also liked the spaces
between the words!
404
00:12:47,980 --> 00:12:48,981
That's not helpful.
405
00:12:52,526 --> 00:12:53,818
You guys got a million dollars together
406
00:12:53,902 --> 00:12:55,278
on 24 hours' notice?
407
00:12:55,362 --> 00:12:57,321
Yeah, I had to liquidate my Bitcoins.
408
00:12:57,405 --> 00:12:58,406
Oh, really?
409
00:12:58,490 --> 00:13:00,157
I would've thought you'd
be flushed with cash
410
00:13:00,241 --> 00:13:01,951
from the Skyfire TV series.
411
00:13:02,035 --> 00:13:03,035
Oh, wait, that's right.
412
00:13:03,119 --> 00:13:04,704
The CW passed.
413
00:13:04,788 --> 00:13:06,622
How's the Shadowbringer
film coming along?
414
00:13:06,706 --> 00:13:08,457
Howie Long still playing both twins?
415
00:13:08,541 --> 00:13:10,042
All right. Let's go over the plan.
416
00:13:10,126 --> 00:13:12,419
Okay, there's a potted tree
on the east side of the lobby.
417
00:13:12,503 --> 00:13:14,004
They said to leave the
briefcase behind that.
418
00:13:14,088 --> 00:13:17,007
If someone grabs it, Rosa,
Peralta, and I will converge.
419
00:13:17,174 --> 00:13:19,342
We'll be positioned
around the room in disguise.
420
00:13:19,426 --> 00:13:21,303
It's not gonna work.
I don't own a nerd costume.
421
00:13:21,387 --> 00:13:24,306
Oh, but Rosa, you are
already wearing one.
422
00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:26,933
You naturally dress like
the female bounty hunter
423
00:13:27,017 --> 00:13:28,519
in every steampunk novel.
424
00:13:29,770 --> 00:13:32,355
Look. All you need are welding goggles.
425
00:13:32,855 --> 00:13:33,856
Damn it.
426
00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:34,982
I have welding goggles in the car.
427
00:13:35,066 --> 00:13:37,026
Shall we to battle?
428
00:13:37,443 --> 00:13:41,363
Mask on, mask on Mask, mask on
429
00:13:41,447 --> 00:13:43,657
Got your mask on, mask on
430
00:13:43,741 --> 00:13:46,410
Rep the set, gotta rep the set
431
00:13:46,494 --> 00:13:48,411
To solve that problem, we would use
432
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:49,746
fluid dynamic analysis.
433
00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:52,457
That is exactly right. Well done.
434
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:54,167
Where's your friend?
435
00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:55,626
Shouldn't he be here
for the plaster removal?
436
00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:57,462
Something came up, so
he had to remove the mask,
437
00:13:57,546 --> 00:13:59,922
which came off quite easily, and run out.
438
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:01,299
It was urgent police business.
439
00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:02,759
Bunch of kids are being held hostage,
440
00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:04,260
so he had to go deal with that.
441
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:05,428
Oh, well, if you need to leave
442
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:06,511
to provide him with backup…
443
00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:08,597
No, it's a teachable moment.
The children can handle themselves.
444
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:09,681
SCULLY: Captain Holt?
445
00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:10,932
Your husband's on the phone.
446
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:12,142
He wants to know how long
447
00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:13,936
you're going to kiss for tonight?
448
00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:17,189
Would you excuse us for one moment?
449
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,691
Your husband didn't really call.
450
00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:21,276
I wasn't sure what gay guys talk about
451
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,611
on the phone. How'd I do?
452
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,112
Scully, what do you want?
453
00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:25,654
We were watching Charles, like you said,
454
00:14:25,738 --> 00:14:27,907
but both of us had to go
to the bathroom really bad.
455
00:14:27,991 --> 00:14:29,658
Ugh. Where's Charles?
456
00:14:29,742 --> 00:14:31,744
-We have no idea.
-BOTH: What?
457
00:14:31,828 --> 00:14:33,621
Terry, do you copy? I copy.
458
00:14:33,705 --> 00:14:35,206
Seriously? You're still mad at me?
459
00:14:35,290 --> 00:14:36,290
All I said was "I copy."
460
00:14:36,374 --> 00:14:38,459
Yeah, but you had a tone. Just admit it.
461
00:14:38,543 --> 00:14:40,252
-Let it go, Jake.
-JEFFORDS: No, he's right.
462
00:14:40,336 --> 00:14:41,337
Terry had a tone.
463
00:14:41,546 --> 00:14:42,879
Terry had a big-time tone.
464
00:14:42,963 --> 00:14:44,964
PERALTA: Don't worry.
I bet he hasn't even read your book yet.
465
00:14:45,048 --> 00:14:47,258
It's been two hours.
I'm almost at the front of this line.
466
00:14:47,342 --> 00:14:49,594
I don't even know who I'm
waiting to take a picture with.
467
00:14:49,678 --> 00:14:51,597
"Bran Stark?" Pass.
468
00:14:51,972 --> 00:14:53,822
Okay, he's just the three-eyed raven.
469
00:14:54,391 --> 00:14:56,059
Here we go, here we go. We got action.
470
00:14:56,143 --> 00:14:57,143
He's dressed just like you, Jake.
471
00:14:57,227 --> 00:14:59,771
Is that someone popular?
Yes, Rosa, it's Ka'lar.
472
00:14:59,855 --> 00:15:02,147
17th of his name, sworn
knight of the Queen's Crown,
473
00:15:02,231 --> 00:15:03,649
the Daybreaker, the rightful heir to…
474
00:15:03,733 --> 00:15:05,275
All right. You can just say "Ka'lar."
475
00:15:05,359 --> 00:15:07,611
Uh, then how will you know
which Ka'lar I'm talking about?
476
00:15:07,695 --> 00:15:08,946
It's a very common name in Skyfire.
477
00:15:09,030 --> 00:15:10,281
It's like their John.
478
00:15:10,490 --> 00:15:12,440
JEFFORDS: He's going for the briefcase.
479
00:15:12,825 --> 00:15:13,909
PERALTA: Okay, let's go.
480
00:15:13,993 --> 00:15:15,452
Don't make your move
until you're close to him.
481
00:15:15,536 --> 00:15:16,886
There's too many civilians.
482
00:15:19,873 --> 00:15:22,166
Wait, why are there so many Ka'lars?
483
00:15:22,250 --> 00:15:23,668
Costume contest just ended.
484
00:15:23,752 --> 00:15:25,795
That's why he waited until
now to pick up the money.
485
00:15:25,879 --> 00:15:27,130
I lost him. Which one is it?
486
00:15:27,214 --> 00:15:28,673
It's the one headed
toward the service elevator.
487
00:15:28,757 --> 00:15:30,050
Hey! Freeze!
488
00:15:30,383 --> 00:15:31,634
NYPD. Let me see your hands.
489
00:15:31,718 --> 00:15:32,719
What's going on?
490
00:15:33,845 --> 00:15:35,847
Doesn't have the briefcase.
I got the wrong Ka'lar.
491
00:15:35,931 --> 00:15:37,264
JEFFORDS: I have eyes on him.
Take him down!
492
00:15:37,348 --> 00:15:39,058
[GRUNTS]
493
00:15:39,975 --> 00:15:41,769
Wrong Ka'lar…
494
00:15:43,229 --> 00:15:44,813
Boyle's not in the interrogation room.
495
00:15:44,897 --> 00:15:46,565
He couldn't have gotten far.
He can't see.
496
00:15:46,649 --> 00:15:48,608
You can go a long way
on muscle memory alone.
497
00:15:48,692 --> 00:15:49,901
One time, I sleepwalked
498
00:15:49,985 --> 00:15:51,278
to the M&M's store in Times Square.
499
00:15:51,362 --> 00:15:52,446
-[LOUD BANGING]
-[BOYLE GRUNTING]
500
00:15:52,530 --> 00:15:53,739
Stairwell.
501
00:15:54,865 --> 00:15:56,073
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
502
00:15:56,157 --> 00:15:58,368
I'm okay. It's okay. [SCREAMS]
503
00:15:58,535 --> 00:16:00,786
Sorry, stranger.
I just can't see anything at all,
504
00:16:00,870 --> 00:16:02,705
and it's really scary being touched.
505
00:16:02,789 --> 00:16:04,206
Are you okay? Yes.
506
00:16:04,290 --> 00:16:06,083
Just return me to the 99th precinct.
507
00:16:06,167 --> 00:16:07,502
Boyle, it's us.
508
00:16:07,752 --> 00:16:09,128
Where were you going? Why would you leave
509
00:16:09,212 --> 00:16:11,338
that windowless supply
closet we locked you in?
510
00:16:11,422 --> 00:16:13,340
Ah, yes, hearing it, I understand why.
511
00:16:13,424 --> 00:16:14,757
I was trying to get to the locker room
512
00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:16,301
to steam the mask off in the shower
513
00:16:16,385 --> 00:16:18,929
so you guys could still get certified.
514
00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:21,348
Wait. You were trying to help us?
515
00:16:21,598 --> 00:16:23,892
Even though you'll be stuck
in this mask for five days?
516
00:16:23,976 --> 00:16:24,976
Five days?
517
00:16:25,060 --> 00:16:27,460
Well, I know how important
the course was to you.
518
00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:29,022
It's not.
519
00:16:29,606 --> 00:16:31,649
-Not anymore.
-[SCREAMS]
520
00:16:31,733 --> 00:16:33,150
I'm so sorry.
521
00:16:33,234 --> 00:16:35,694
I just cannot see at all.
522
00:16:35,778 --> 00:16:36,945
I can't believe it!
523
00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:39,114
Now I'm out half a million dollars!
524
00:16:39,198 --> 00:16:40,282
What am I supposed to do now?
525
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:42,534
Write another Compendium of Beasts?
526
00:16:42,618 --> 00:16:44,286
Do you have any idea how hard it is
527
00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:47,248
to find enough interns
to slap that crap together?
528
00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:49,208
God!
529
00:16:49,375 --> 00:16:50,750
PARLOV: Don't worry about him.
530
00:16:50,834 --> 00:16:52,376
At least we got to stop that thief
531
00:16:52,460 --> 00:16:54,003
from releasing any more chapters.
532
00:16:54,087 --> 00:16:56,088
All we're out is some money,
plus, I've got insurance,
533
00:16:56,172 --> 00:16:57,340
so I'm going to get it all back.
534
00:16:57,424 --> 00:16:58,466
By the way, Detective Jeffords,
535
00:16:58,550 --> 00:16:59,550
while we were waiting,
536
00:16:59,634 --> 00:17:01,302
I had an opportunity
to read your manuscript.
537
00:17:01,386 --> 00:17:03,471
Oh, don't worry about that.
538
00:17:03,597 --> 00:17:05,264
It's a work in progress.
539
00:17:05,348 --> 00:17:06,766
Has a lot of changes I…
540
00:17:06,850 --> 00:17:08,600
No, no, no, it was great. Truly.
541
00:17:08,684 --> 00:17:10,852
Fantastic.
I mean, it was so fresh, you know?
542
00:17:10,936 --> 00:17:12,562
It had a really unique point of view.
543
00:17:12,646 --> 00:17:14,189
I sent it on to my publishers.
544
00:17:14,481 --> 00:17:16,024
Thank you for allowing me to read it.
545
00:17:16,108 --> 00:17:17,150
And I want to thank you all
546
00:17:17,234 --> 00:17:19,153
for your hard, hard work on this case.
547
00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:20,321
Appreciate it.
548
00:17:20,821 --> 00:17:21,863
[BREATHING EXCITEDLY]
549
00:17:21,947 --> 00:17:23,990
Ooh, did you hear that?
550
00:17:24,074 --> 00:17:25,075
He loved it.
551
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,743
DC Parlov loved my writing!
552
00:17:27,827 --> 00:17:28,827
You were wrong!
553
00:17:28,911 --> 00:17:30,829
And being wrong never felt so right.
554
00:17:30,913 --> 00:17:33,082
Oh, that sounded cool.
Did I just make up a hit song?
555
00:17:33,166 --> 00:17:35,334
Being wrong never felt so right
556
00:17:35,418 --> 00:17:37,587
With the Addams
Family staying up all night
557
00:17:37,837 --> 00:17:39,088
Yep, I was right. It's a hit.
558
00:17:39,172 --> 00:17:40,214
I gotta go call Sharon!
559
00:17:40,298 --> 00:17:42,383
All righty. Well, congratulations, Sarge!
560
00:17:42,467 --> 00:17:43,759
And don't forget about us
561
00:17:43,843 --> 00:17:45,260
when you become a famous author.
562
00:17:45,344 --> 00:17:47,387
Terry's writing sucks.
Parlov is lying to him.
563
00:17:47,471 --> 00:17:48,596
What? Why?
564
00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:49,681
I don't know.
565
00:17:50,223 --> 00:17:51,391
He's buttering him up
566
00:17:51,975 --> 00:17:55,103
because Lawson and
Parlov stole their own books!
567
00:17:56,063 --> 00:17:57,188
Well, they stole their own books
568
00:17:57,272 --> 00:17:59,357
It's plain to see But who's on the case?
569
00:17:59,441 --> 00:18:01,068
The Addams Family
570
00:18:02,361 --> 00:18:05,028
Terry is Gomez, I'm Cousin Itt
571
00:18:05,112 --> 00:18:06,655
You are Wednesday, let's do this
572
00:18:06,739 --> 00:18:08,032
Okay, we should go.
573
00:18:10,576 --> 00:18:12,286
Why do you think these
guys are in it together?
574
00:18:12,370 --> 00:18:13,996
They hate each other, they spent an hour
575
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:15,831
arguing over the name of
the dragon in The Hobbit.
576
00:18:15,915 --> 00:18:19,334
Smog! Smowg!
577
00:18:19,418 --> 00:18:21,086
-[YELLING] Smog!
-[YELLING] Smowg!
578
00:18:21,419 --> 00:18:23,462
It's "Smowg," by the way, point Lawson,
579
00:18:23,546 --> 00:18:25,381
but, yes, they're mortal enemies,
580
00:18:25,465 --> 00:18:27,049
which is why they think
we'll never suspect them
581
00:18:27,133 --> 00:18:28,217
of being in cahoots.
582
00:18:28,301 --> 00:18:29,969
Oh, but they cahooted, Rosa.
583
00:18:30,220 --> 00:18:32,471
They cahooted all over us.
584
00:18:32,555 --> 00:18:34,056
Gross. Why'd they leak their chapters?
585
00:18:34,140 --> 00:18:35,141
To get people excited,
586
00:18:35,225 --> 00:18:36,976
like when Carly Rae Jepsen
puts out an amazing single,
587
00:18:37,060 --> 00:18:38,936
and you have to wait six
weeks for the album to come out.
588
00:18:39,020 --> 00:18:40,270
She's great. I'm not apologizing.
589
00:18:40,354 --> 00:18:42,314
So Parlov contacted
Terry because he knows
590
00:18:42,398 --> 00:18:44,065
Sarge is a super-fan
and can be manipulated.
591
00:18:44,149 --> 00:18:46,610
Yes, he's been giving Terry
presents since last year.
592
00:18:46,694 --> 00:18:47,861
And Terry's novel gave Parlov
593
00:18:47,945 --> 00:18:49,195
another chance to manipulate him.
594
00:18:49,279 --> 00:18:50,280
Unless…
595
00:18:50,364 --> 00:18:52,964
Is it possible Parlov
actually likes Sarge's writing?
596
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,400
Read the first sentence.
597
00:18:55,536 --> 00:18:56,953
Yep, Parlov did it. Very much so.
598
00:18:57,037 --> 00:18:58,662
Gah! Now I have to tell Sarge
599
00:18:58,746 --> 00:19:00,373
that his fantasy novel stinks.
600
00:19:01,124 --> 00:19:03,334
This is the hardest part of being a cop.
601
00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:06,295
Now, there are issues with RFLP testing,
602
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:08,379
as there are with every technique, but…
603
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:09,840
Captain, I thought you said
604
00:19:09,924 --> 00:19:11,968
your friend removed his mask and left.
605
00:19:12,176 --> 00:19:13,626
I forgot to lube up his face.
606
00:19:14,011 --> 00:19:15,928
We failed to listen to the instructions.
607
00:19:16,012 --> 00:19:17,388
That is incredibly careless.
608
00:19:17,472 --> 00:19:18,765
I know, and it means we won't receive
609
00:19:18,849 --> 00:19:20,976
our certification, and
I'm okay with that.
610
00:19:21,184 --> 00:19:23,144
Unless my honesty…
No, it's off the table.
611
00:19:23,228 --> 00:19:24,437
And I'm okay with that.
612
00:19:24,521 --> 00:19:26,689
Well, anyway, RFLP testing
613
00:19:26,773 --> 00:19:29,317
was designed to localize
genetic disorders, and it…
614
00:19:29,401 --> 00:19:31,778
Ooh, my cousin, Donna
has a genetic disorder
615
00:19:31,862 --> 00:19:33,762
where her lips were made of cartilage,
616
00:19:33,863 --> 00:19:36,031
meaning her mouth is technically a beak.
617
00:19:36,115 --> 00:19:37,449
I don't see how that
pertains to anything…
618
00:19:37,533 --> 00:19:38,950
No, let him talk. I want to hear it.
619
00:19:39,034 --> 00:19:41,203
Boyle, tell us about your cousin's beak.
620
00:19:41,370 --> 00:19:42,996
Well, she runs marathons
621
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:46,083
to raise money for other
people afflicted with "bird-face."
622
00:19:46,417 --> 00:19:47,459
There are only two of them.
623
00:19:47,543 --> 00:19:48,543
They're her kids.
624
00:19:48,627 --> 00:19:49,878
Oh, Sarge!
625
00:19:49,962 --> 00:19:51,338
Funny seeing you here.
626
00:19:51,672 --> 00:19:52,755
Oh, that reminds me.
627
00:19:52,839 --> 00:19:54,757
I have to tell you something.
What was it?
628
00:19:54,841 --> 00:19:55,883
Out with it, Peralta.
629
00:19:55,967 --> 00:19:57,217
Okay, fine. Here it goes.
630
00:19:57,844 --> 00:19:59,888
I think that… Parlov hated my book.
631
00:20:00,180 --> 00:20:02,431
He only said he liked it
so I wouldn't figure out
632
00:20:02,515 --> 00:20:04,767
he and Lawson stole
their own manuscripts.
633
00:20:04,851 --> 00:20:06,686
You figured it out.
Well, I had a gut feeling,
634
00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:07,770
so I went digging.
635
00:20:07,854 --> 00:20:09,980
I got a warrant for
Parlov's browser history.
636
00:20:10,064 --> 00:20:11,815
He searched "how to liquidate Bitcoins"
637
00:20:11,899 --> 00:20:13,608
three days before the
laptops were stolen.
638
00:20:13,692 --> 00:20:15,694
Man, I bet that browser
history was a nightmare, huh?
639
00:20:15,778 --> 00:20:17,278
Oh, you have no idea. Yeah.
640
00:20:17,362 --> 00:20:19,614
Anyway, I questioned
them, and they confessed.
641
00:20:19,698 --> 00:20:21,116
I can't go to prison, okay?
642
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:23,368
I know I seem tough, but I'm not.
643
00:20:23,452 --> 00:20:24,744
I went to Bennington.
644
00:20:24,828 --> 00:20:26,913
Eww.
I'm sorry Parlov didn't like your book.
645
00:20:26,997 --> 00:20:28,455
And I didn't. And also Rosa.
646
00:20:28,539 --> 00:20:30,332
Why did I add that? No, it's okay.
647
00:20:30,416 --> 00:20:32,584
At least I won't waste any
more time trying to be a writer.
648
00:20:32,668 --> 00:20:34,268
Wait, let me ask you a question.
649
00:20:34,670 --> 00:20:36,588
Are you a better cop now
than when you started?
650
00:20:36,672 --> 00:20:38,072
Nope. Wasn't talking to you.
651
00:20:38,633 --> 00:20:41,135
Yeah. I look back at my old cases
652
00:20:41,219 --> 00:20:42,761
and I can't believe how long
653
00:20:42,845 --> 00:20:43,846
it took me to figure things out.
654
00:20:43,930 --> 00:20:45,097
Yeah, but you worked on it,
655
00:20:45,181 --> 00:20:46,764
and you kept working, and now,
656
00:20:46,848 --> 00:20:48,850
12 to 40 years later,
657
00:20:48,934 --> 00:20:50,143
I don't have a good sense of your age,
658
00:20:50,227 --> 00:20:52,186
you're a great cop
who got a "gut feeling"
659
00:20:52,270 --> 00:20:53,420
and solved a huge case.
660
00:20:54,022 --> 00:20:55,273
So you think I should keep writing?
661
00:20:55,357 --> 00:20:57,442
I mean, you might not
become a huge famous author,
662
00:20:57,526 --> 00:20:58,777
but you'll get better,
663
00:20:59,152 --> 00:21:01,028
and if it makes you
happy, it can't be that bad.
664
00:21:01,112 --> 00:21:03,448
Sheryl Crow, she's great.
I won't apologize.
665
00:21:03,532 --> 00:21:05,198
DIAZ: And who knows, Claire Essalgorn
666
00:21:05,282 --> 00:21:07,284
didn't start writing the
first Crimson Portal novel
667
00:21:07,368 --> 00:21:08,536
until she was 60.
668
00:21:09,370 --> 00:21:11,121
I started reading it because
the character looks like me.
669
00:21:11,205 --> 00:21:13,081
I kept reading it because it's so good!
670
00:21:13,165 --> 00:21:15,333
Rosa, you did get hooked, you big nerd!
671
00:21:15,417 --> 00:21:16,418
This heroine is my heroin.
672
00:21:16,502 --> 00:21:18,420
Oh, such a dweebus. I love it!
673
00:21:18,629 --> 00:21:20,922
Speaking of which,
Parlov's laptop is in evidence.
674
00:21:21,006 --> 00:21:22,466
Want to go read the new Skyfire book?
675
00:21:22,550 --> 00:21:24,467
Oh, I don't know.
676
00:21:24,551 --> 00:21:26,135
I mean, he's such a bad guy.
677
00:21:26,219 --> 00:21:27,970
Do we even like his books anymore?
678
00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:29,055
[CHUCKLES]
679
00:21:29,430 --> 00:21:30,639
BOTH: Sharpen your swords
680
00:21:30,723 --> 00:21:32,016
And string your bows
681
00:21:32,100 --> 00:21:33,726
The beasts have gone away