1
00:00:04,957 --> 00:00:07,042
Just eating butter like
a Popsicle, huh, Boyle?

2
00:00:07,126 --> 00:00:09,253
Yeah, I know, I'm spoiling myself,

3
00:00:09,378 --> 00:00:11,213
but I'm depressed. Or have you forgotten

4
00:00:11,297 --> 00:00:13,173
that Jake, my best friend, is in prison?

5
00:00:13,257 --> 00:00:14,884
Wait, Jake's in prison? Yeah!

6
00:00:14,968 --> 00:00:17,303
He and Rosa were framed
for a bunch of bank robberies

7
00:00:17,387 --> 00:00:18,388
by Lieutenant Hawkins.

8
00:00:18,472 --> 00:00:20,682
Oh, right. And where's Gina?

9
00:00:20,766 --> 00:00:21,766
On maternity leave!

10
00:00:21,850 --> 00:00:23,644
We were all at her baby shower last week.

11
00:00:23,728 --> 00:00:26,021
Okay. And why am I bleeding?

12
00:00:26,105 --> 00:00:27,565
I don't know, Hitchcock.

13
00:00:27,690 --> 00:00:29,358
Oh, so you don't have all the answers.

14
00:00:29,442 --> 00:00:31,151
I'm bleeding because my piece-of-crap

15
00:00:31,235 --> 00:00:32,279
son-in-law bit me.

16
00:00:32,363 --> 00:00:33,697
Look, we all miss Jake and Rosa,

17
00:00:33,781 --> 00:00:35,240
which is why we have
to keep working the case.

18
00:00:35,324 --> 00:00:37,367
There has to be some
way to exonerate them.

19
00:00:37,451 --> 00:00:39,119
I've been looking, but
I can't find anything,

20
00:00:39,203 --> 00:00:40,203
and I don't know what to do.

21
00:00:40,287 --> 00:00:42,623
PERALTA: "I can't find anything
and I don't know what to do,"

22
00:00:42,707 --> 00:00:44,041
title of your sex tape.

23
00:00:44,125 --> 00:00:46,210
What is happening right now?

24
00:00:46,294 --> 00:00:47,837
They caught Hawkins
trying to flee the country.

25
00:00:47,921 --> 00:00:50,423
She confessed to
everything, and they let me out.

26
00:00:50,549 --> 00:00:52,092
Oh, my God, Jake, is it really you?

27
00:00:52,176 --> 00:00:54,126
Are you really here? You know it, baby.

28
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,805
But first, I gotta hug my best friend.

29
00:00:56,889 --> 00:00:57,889
Yeah. What?

30
00:00:57,973 --> 00:00:59,182
Welcome back, Peralta.

31
00:00:59,266 --> 00:01:00,476
I just heard from the mayor.

32
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:01,978
To apologize for what happened to you,

33
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,771
they're sending you to Disney World.

34
00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:06,065
You and one male guest.

35
00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:08,276
As long as I don't have to
go on any of the scary rides.

36
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,363
I'd just go for the shows. Yeah!

37
00:01:11,197 --> 00:01:15,326
ALL [CHANTING]: Boyle, Boyle, Boyle!

38
00:01:15,451 --> 00:01:16,452
Boyle!

39
00:01:16,536 --> 00:01:18,121
Were you dreaming about Jake again?

40
00:01:18,205 --> 00:01:19,497
Why did you wake me up?

41
00:01:19,581 --> 00:01:21,375
I told you never to wake me up!

42
00:01:21,500 --> 00:01:23,711
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

43
00:01:45,610 --> 00:01:46,611
Wake up!

44
00:01:46,778 --> 00:01:48,529
Rise and shine!

45
00:01:48,613 --> 00:01:49,698
[BUZZER SOUNDING]

46
00:01:51,199 --> 00:01:53,349
[SIGHING AFFIRMATIVELY]
Good morning, Caleb.

47
00:01:53,785 --> 00:01:55,496
Well, you woke up happy for once.

48
00:01:55,580 --> 00:01:56,873
You're damn right I did.

49
00:01:57,206 --> 00:01:58,416
It's visiting day.

50
00:01:59,709 --> 00:02:00,877
It's visiting day!

51
00:02:02,378 --> 00:02:03,546
Happy visiting day.

52
00:02:04,047 --> 00:02:05,215
Happy visiting day, Tommy.

53
00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:06,424
You excited for the family to come?

54
00:02:06,508 --> 00:02:08,051
Tino! Is Maria on her way?

55
00:02:08,135 --> 00:02:10,220
Miguel, happy visiting day…

56
00:02:10,304 --> 00:02:11,305
And he hung himself.

57
00:02:11,889 --> 00:02:13,307
Oh, my God. Guard?

58
00:02:13,391 --> 00:02:14,392
Guard!

59
00:02:15,018 --> 00:02:16,352
Hi, hey. Hi.

60
00:02:16,895 --> 00:02:17,896
Oh, man,

61
00:02:18,021 --> 00:02:19,814
three weeks is way
too long between visits.

62
00:02:19,898 --> 00:02:21,607
I know, I'm so sorry.

63
00:02:21,691 --> 00:02:23,318
It's been so hard to get
down to South Carolina

64
00:02:23,402 --> 00:02:25,028
between work and
spending every free minute

65
00:02:25,112 --> 00:02:26,154
-on your case.
-GUARD: All right!

66
00:02:26,238 --> 00:02:27,239
That's enough touching.

67
00:02:27,323 --> 00:02:28,990
[WHISPERING] You used
all the touching time, Amy.

68
00:02:29,074 --> 00:02:31,244
I get 100% of the goodbye
touching time, 100%.

69
00:02:31,328 --> 00:02:32,328
So, Charles, I gotta ask,

70
00:02:32,412 --> 00:02:33,621
what's going on with your hair?

71
00:02:33,705 --> 00:02:35,415
Well, it turned white from the stress,

72
00:02:35,499 --> 00:02:36,791
but I didn't want you to worry,

73
00:02:36,875 --> 00:02:38,668
so I dyed it back to my normal color

74
00:02:38,752 --> 00:02:40,002
with a splash of Batali.

75
00:02:40,086 --> 00:02:41,088
Do you like it?

76
00:02:42,590 --> 00:02:44,216
So, how's my case going?
Have you found anything

77
00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:45,801
on Hawkins? I've been working it in here.

78
00:02:45,885 --> 00:02:47,052
You know, when no one's watching.

79
00:02:47,136 --> 00:02:48,637
In my cell. At night. In the dark.

80
00:02:48,721 --> 00:02:50,014
I guess I've been
mostly thinking about it.

81
00:02:50,098 --> 00:02:51,641
We're tracking her 24/7.

82
00:02:51,725 --> 00:02:53,935
You know, watching her
men, combing her old files,

83
00:02:54,019 --> 00:02:55,687
but she's done a great
job at covering her tracks.

84
00:02:55,771 --> 00:02:57,898
But, we will find something, babe.
I swear.

85
00:02:58,065 --> 00:03:00,317
Don't give up hope, okay?
How are they treating you?

86
00:03:00,401 --> 00:03:01,527
Are you safe? Yeah,

87
00:03:01,611 --> 00:03:03,446
I'm in protective custody
because everyone in gen pop

88
00:03:03,530 --> 00:03:05,030
hates cops. I'm not really sure why.

89
00:03:05,114 --> 00:03:06,574
Something about us locking them in cages

90
00:03:06,658 --> 00:03:08,368
and letting the world pass them by.
[LAUGHING]

91
00:03:08,452 --> 00:03:10,871
So, it sounds like you're isolated

92
00:03:10,955 --> 00:03:12,456
and haven't had any
chance to make new friends.

93
00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:14,374
Well, my cellmate, Caleb, is okay.

94
00:03:14,458 --> 00:03:15,459
Just remember he's in prison.

95
00:03:15,543 --> 00:03:16,668
No matter how small the crime,

96
00:03:16,752 --> 00:03:17,754
people don't change.

97
00:03:17,838 --> 00:03:18,838
They don't deserve second chances.

98
00:03:18,922 --> 00:03:21,340
Charles, relax.
I'm not gonna replace you.

99
00:03:21,424 --> 00:03:22,675
Trust me, all I've been thinking about

100
00:03:22,759 --> 00:03:23,968
is when you guys are gonna get down here.

101
00:03:24,052 --> 00:03:26,555
And now, you are,
and we can finally talk.

102
00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:27,890
[BUZZER SOUNDS]

103
00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:28,974
There's an incident in the yard.

104
00:03:29,058 --> 00:03:30,684
We're going into lockdown.
Inmates, line up.

105
00:03:30,768 --> 00:03:32,562
No, no, no, no, no.

106
00:03:32,728 --> 00:03:34,521
I have 50 more minutes. I need this.

107
00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:36,149
Back to your cells, right now!

108
00:03:36,233 --> 00:03:38,110
No! My touching time.

109
00:03:41,071 --> 00:03:42,072
Sarge, Captain.

110
00:03:42,197 --> 00:03:43,907
Oh, you guys brought Hitchcock.

111
00:03:44,074 --> 00:03:46,786
Uh, no, we just bumped
into him in the lobby.

112
00:03:46,870 --> 00:03:47,912
We don't know why he's here.

113
00:03:47,996 --> 00:03:49,163
Jenny, baby!

114
00:03:49,247 --> 00:03:52,375
I love what prison's
doing to your figure.

115
00:03:55,796 --> 00:03:56,797
Okay.

116
00:03:57,131 --> 00:03:59,216
So, how's prison?
Nobody likes cops in here,

117
00:03:59,300 --> 00:04:01,218
so I had to earn their respect
by starting a bunch of riots.

118
00:04:01,302 --> 00:04:02,594
Got thrown in solitary for a week.

119
00:04:02,678 --> 00:04:04,222
What's going on with your face?

120
00:04:04,306 --> 00:04:06,682
I hate seeing you like
this, so I'm flexing my eyes

121
00:04:06,766 --> 00:04:08,184
real hard to keep from crying.

122
00:04:08,268 --> 00:04:10,768
It's okay, we can still
have a normal conversation.

123
00:04:11,354 --> 00:04:12,648
So, how's the food?

124
00:04:12,982 --> 00:04:16,151
Pay no attention to him, Rosa.
He's very emotional, Rosa.

125
00:04:16,235 --> 00:04:17,402
Why are you saying my first name?

126
00:04:17,486 --> 00:04:19,655
Well, Rosa, I read an article

127
00:04:19,739 --> 00:04:20,864
in a medical journal that said,

128
00:04:20,948 --> 00:04:23,243
one destabilizing aspect of incarceration

129
00:04:23,327 --> 00:04:25,662
is the constant dehumanization, Rosa.

130
00:04:25,746 --> 00:04:26,913
You need to be reminded

131
00:04:26,997 --> 00:04:29,040
that you're more than
just a number, Rosa.

132
00:04:29,124 --> 00:04:30,250
You are Rosa…

133
00:04:30,919 --> 00:04:32,670
Rosa. Yup, that fixes prison.

134
00:04:32,754 --> 00:04:34,547
Is there anything we can do to help you?

135
00:04:34,631 --> 00:04:36,131
Anything you need done on the outside?

136
00:04:36,215 --> 00:04:37,216
No, I'm good.

137
00:04:37,300 --> 00:04:38,509
It's not a problem. Rosa.

138
00:04:38,593 --> 00:04:39,886
We're here for you. Rosa.

139
00:04:39,970 --> 00:04:42,222
Whatever you need. Rosa.

140
00:04:44,808 --> 00:04:46,560
Okay, I'll come up with a list.

141
00:04:46,644 --> 00:04:48,813
The alarm went off
before we could even talk.

142
00:04:48,897 --> 00:04:50,398
Aw, that's too bad, bud.

143
00:04:50,523 --> 00:04:52,942
But at least you have people
that wanna come and visit you.

144
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:55,362
My family hasn't been
to see my since my trial.

145
00:04:55,487 --> 00:04:57,071
You eat nine people and all of a sudden

146
00:04:57,155 --> 00:04:58,955
they don't know who you are anymore.

147
00:04:59,492 --> 00:05:00,493
Wait…

148
00:05:00,910 --> 00:05:01,911
What?

149
00:05:02,078 --> 00:05:03,412
Did you say "eat people"?

150
00:05:03,579 --> 00:05:05,247
Are you a cannibal, Caleb?

151
00:05:05,331 --> 00:05:07,459
Well, that's not how I
would define myself.

152
00:05:07,751 --> 00:05:09,460
If we're going by what
I'm most passionate about,

153
00:05:09,544 --> 00:05:10,879
I would say that I'm a woodworker.

154
00:05:10,963 --> 00:05:13,006
Why did you think I was
in protective custody?

155
00:05:13,090 --> 00:05:15,008
I don't know, I guess I
hoped you were another cop,

156
00:05:15,092 --> 00:05:16,719
wrongly convicted of
crimes you didn't commit.

157
00:05:16,803 --> 00:05:19,096
Nope, I did all my stuff and more.

158
00:05:19,180 --> 00:05:20,806
There's tons they can't even trace to me.

159
00:05:20,890 --> 00:05:22,308
The secret is eating the evidence.

160
00:05:22,392 --> 00:05:24,227
Okay, this is just great.

161
00:05:24,519 --> 00:05:25,687
I don't see anyone from the outside

162
00:05:25,771 --> 00:05:27,522
for another three weeks
and my only friend here

163
00:05:27,606 --> 00:05:28,906
is a cannibal. Woodworker.

164
00:05:29,233 --> 00:05:31,234
Look, if you really wanna
talk to people on the outside,

165
00:05:31,318 --> 00:05:33,069
just get a cell phone.
Yeah, that'd be great,

166
00:05:33,153 --> 00:05:34,530
but it's illegal, right? There's this guy

167
00:05:34,614 --> 00:05:37,075
in gen pop, Romero.
He can smuggle anything

168
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:38,201
into this place.

169
00:05:38,451 --> 00:05:40,620
Phones, drugs, big bag of hair.

170
00:05:40,745 --> 00:05:41,787
Why would you want that?

171
00:05:41,871 --> 00:05:42,997
You know what? Don't tell me.

172
00:05:43,081 --> 00:05:44,666
The less I know about you, the better.

173
00:05:44,750 --> 00:05:46,585
Okay, let's find this Romero guy.

174
00:05:46,669 --> 00:05:49,119
Right now?
I really wanna chomp down on this meat.

175
00:05:49,380 --> 00:05:50,381
Caleb!

176
00:05:50,923 --> 00:05:52,215
CALEB: This is scary.

177
00:05:52,299 --> 00:05:53,843
I don't like being so near gen pop.

178
00:05:53,927 --> 00:05:55,553
It's fine.
It's not like they're all waiting

179
00:05:55,637 --> 00:05:57,180
for an opportunity to kill us.

180
00:05:57,264 --> 00:05:59,098
I'm sure some of them are actually nice,

181
00:05:59,182 --> 00:06:00,475
like this gentle giant here.

182
00:06:00,559 --> 00:06:01,936
Hello, sir, what brings
you to the fence today?

183
00:06:02,020 --> 00:06:04,120
Just here to stab you
if you get too close.

184
00:06:06,107 --> 00:06:07,358
Neat. Caleb, remind me

185
00:06:07,442 --> 00:06:08,525
not to stand too close to the fence.

186
00:06:08,609 --> 00:06:10,445
Will do. Oh, here's Romero.

187
00:06:11,447 --> 00:06:13,073
So, what's up?
You need another bag of hair?

188
00:06:13,157 --> 00:06:14,158
Yeah. No.

189
00:06:14,533 --> 00:06:16,242
We'll talk later. Same order, though.

190
00:06:16,326 --> 00:06:17,327
I hear you're the man to talk to

191
00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:19,061
about getting a cell phone. I am.

192
00:06:19,705 --> 00:06:21,750
But it'll cost you. Phone's 100.

193
00:06:21,875 --> 00:06:23,000
$100? That's no problem.

194
00:06:23,084 --> 00:06:25,086
[SCOFFS] I got no use for cash.

195
00:06:25,503 --> 00:06:26,796
I want 100 soups.

196
00:06:26,921 --> 00:06:28,005
-Soups?
-CALEB: Yeah, ramen.

197
00:06:28,089 --> 00:06:29,466
They're like a major currency in here.

198
00:06:29,550 --> 00:06:31,093
Really? That is very surprising.

199
00:06:31,177 --> 00:06:32,177
You can't smoke anymore,

200
00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:33,845
so ramen has replaced cigarettes.

201
00:06:33,929 --> 00:06:35,222
NPR did a big thing on it.

202
00:06:35,306 --> 00:06:37,265
I thought they sold ramen
at the prison commissary.

203
00:06:37,349 --> 00:06:38,518
I don't want commissary soups,

204
00:06:38,602 --> 00:06:39,852
you stupid little bitch boy.

205
00:06:39,936 --> 00:06:41,145
Okay, that's fair. I deserve that.

206
00:06:41,229 --> 00:06:43,147
I want flavors you can
only get on the outside,

207
00:06:43,231 --> 00:06:45,525
chili-lime shrimp, southwestern chicken,

208
00:06:45,609 --> 00:06:46,902
street flavors.

209
00:06:47,027 --> 00:06:48,877
Picante beef. Oh, that's my favorite.

210
00:06:50,031 --> 00:06:53,076
Get me picante beef, bitch boy.

211
00:06:55,161 --> 00:06:56,955
Okay, so I just get some ramen,

212
00:06:57,081 --> 00:06:59,291
and then I get a cell phone.
Prison is easy.

213
00:07:00,042 --> 00:07:01,042
[SCREAMING]

214
00:07:01,126 --> 00:07:02,776
You stood too close to the fence.

215
00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:04,171
Yeah, I know, Caleb!

216
00:07:05,589 --> 00:07:07,925
Captain, Diaz sent us the list of favors

217
00:07:08,009 --> 00:07:10,011
she needs us to do for her.
She didn't hold back.

218
00:07:10,095 --> 00:07:13,098
First, she wants us to move
all her furniture into storage.

219
00:07:13,223 --> 00:07:14,807
Okay. Then file her taxes for her.

220
00:07:14,891 --> 00:07:16,435
Really? And then she wants us

221
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:17,769
to type up and email

222
00:07:17,853 --> 00:07:20,522
these letters to Pimento in Argentina.

223
00:07:20,606 --> 00:07:23,067
Are they sexual in nature? Crazy sexual.

224
00:07:23,192 --> 00:07:25,361
But we can't say no. She's behind bars

225
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,738
and we made a promise.

226
00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:27,822
Right. You're right.

227
00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:28,907
Oh, also,

228
00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:31,242
she's worried about her
motorcycle sitting idle,

229
00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:33,676
so she wants us to take it out once a day.
Here.

230
00:07:34,413 --> 00:07:36,832
I think you should do this.
You're more the biker type.

231
00:07:36,916 --> 00:07:38,916
I've seen you use a toothpick in public.

232
00:07:39,085 --> 00:07:40,586
Motorcycles are death machines.

233
00:07:40,670 --> 00:07:42,546
I have three kids. I'm not risking it.

234
00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:44,632
Are you saying my life matters less

235
00:07:44,716 --> 00:07:45,717
because I don't conform

236
00:07:45,801 --> 00:07:48,720
to society's heteronormative,
child-centric ideals?

237
00:07:49,221 --> 00:07:51,222
Are you really playing
the gay card right now?

238
00:07:51,306 --> 00:07:52,308
Yas, queen.

239
00:07:54,602 --> 00:07:55,686
Thanks for coming down, again.

240
00:07:55,770 --> 00:07:57,396
What's going on at work? Not much.

241
00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,732
I'm investigating a
big-time money launderer.

242
00:07:59,983 --> 00:08:01,402
Moves tons of cash

243
00:08:02,111 --> 00:08:03,195
under the table.

244
00:08:05,698 --> 00:08:06,698
It was stressful,

245
00:08:06,782 --> 00:08:08,075
because the brass got involved,

246
00:08:08,159 --> 00:08:10,412
so there were a lot of
eyes on the operation.

247
00:08:12,831 --> 00:08:14,373
But in the end, they
gave us room to work.

248
00:08:14,457 --> 00:08:18,712
Well, sounds like it was a
very successful operation.

249
00:08:22,758 --> 00:08:24,051
Here you go, bro.

250
00:08:25,511 --> 00:08:28,097
-One hundred and five picante beef.
-PERALTA: Great.

251
00:08:29,433 --> 00:08:30,892
I'll keep five packs for myself.

252
00:08:30,976 --> 00:08:32,227
What do you want me to do with the rest?

253
00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:33,561
Thanks for the soups.

254
00:08:33,645 --> 00:08:34,729
Here's your cell phone.

255
00:08:34,813 --> 00:08:36,607
Thank you. And by the way,

256
00:08:36,732 --> 00:08:38,484
as someone who's eaten
a lot of ramen in his life,

257
00:08:38,568 --> 00:08:40,361
here's a tip, leave a
few noodles uncooked

258
00:08:40,445 --> 00:08:43,195
and then sprinkle them on
top afterwards like a garnish.

259
00:08:45,074 --> 00:08:47,119
Gives you an extra
little fun bonus crunch.

260
00:08:47,203 --> 00:08:48,204
[GRUNTS] Ha-ha!

261
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:50,289
Saw you coming that time.

262
00:08:50,414 --> 00:08:52,916
Look who's got prison all figured…

263
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,292
[SCREAMS] He threw the shiv!

264
00:08:54,376 --> 00:08:55,544
You can't do that!

265
00:08:56,004 --> 00:08:58,131
[SIGHING] I can't believe
I'm hearing your voice.

266
00:08:58,215 --> 00:08:59,841
I know. It's so amazing.

267
00:08:59,925 --> 00:09:01,759
<i>And now every day
can be like visiting day,</i>

268
00:09:01,843 --> 00:09:04,262
and we can just talk
about whatever, whenever…

269
00:09:04,387 --> 00:09:05,681
Jake, Jake, Jake.

270
00:09:05,765 --> 00:09:07,266
I gotta go. Jake?

271
00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:09,184
Hey, warden. What's up?

272
00:09:09,268 --> 00:09:10,310
What the hell are these?

273
00:09:10,394 --> 00:09:12,444
I found them during a
sweep of your bunks.

274
00:09:12,563 --> 00:09:14,691
Oh, uh, we got those at the commissary.

275
00:09:14,775 --> 00:09:15,942
Picante beef.

276
00:09:16,026 --> 00:09:17,443
You think I don't know that picante beef

277
00:09:17,527 --> 00:09:18,528
is a street flavor?

278
00:09:18,612 --> 00:09:20,655
I was being kind to
you by putting you two

279
00:09:20,739 --> 00:09:22,198
in protective custody,
but if you're gonna bring

280
00:09:22,282 --> 00:09:25,119
contraband into my
prison and flaunt my rules,

281
00:09:25,245 --> 00:09:26,454
pack your bags!

282
00:09:26,663 --> 00:09:28,414
You're going to gen pop. Gen pop?

283
00:09:28,498 --> 00:09:30,249
But my tough prison beard
hasn't fully grown in yet.

284
00:09:30,333 --> 00:09:32,183
Just give me six or seven more years.

285
00:09:34,421 --> 00:09:36,090
[BUZZER SOUNDS]

286
00:09:37,383 --> 00:09:39,134
I can't believe we're going to gen pop.

287
00:09:39,218 --> 00:09:40,594
A cop and a cannibal?

288
00:09:41,888 --> 00:09:43,514
Everyone's gonna be trying to kill us.

289
00:09:43,598 --> 00:09:45,183
I know. What are we gonna do?

290
00:09:45,267 --> 00:09:46,893
You're a psychopath.
You can protect us in there, right?

291
00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:48,769
I mean, you killed and
ate a bunch of people.

292
00:09:48,853 --> 00:09:49,937
They were children, Jake.

293
00:09:50,021 --> 00:09:51,482
Weak little children.

294
00:09:51,774 --> 00:09:53,609
One conk on the head was all it took.

295
00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:54,693
Damn it!

296
00:09:54,777 --> 00:09:57,237
I can't believe I'm friends
with a cowardly cannibal!

297
00:09:57,321 --> 00:09:59,171
JEFFORDS: Here she comes. Big smiles.

298
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:03,286
Hey, Rosa. Hey. How's my bike?

299
00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:05,747
Great.
It actually was a lot of fun to ride,

300
00:10:05,956 --> 00:10:06,998
once I got the hang of it.

301
00:10:07,082 --> 00:10:08,541
[SCREAMING]

302
00:10:08,625 --> 00:10:10,628
[CARS HONKING]

303
00:10:10,753 --> 00:10:12,713
And you were able to
finish everything on my list?

304
00:10:12,797 --> 00:10:14,147
It wasn't too much, was it?

305
00:10:14,424 --> 00:10:15,925
No. Not at all.

306
00:10:16,092 --> 00:10:18,470
If anything, you didn't ask enough of us.

307
00:10:18,595 --> 00:10:20,795
Great, 'cause I thought
of a few more things.

308
00:10:21,140 --> 00:10:23,141
Oh, were you able to
send that email to Adrian?

309
00:10:23,225 --> 00:10:24,768
Oh, yes, he wrote back right away.

310
00:10:24,852 --> 00:10:26,502
It wasn't as graphic as I feared.

311
00:10:26,603 --> 00:10:28,523
He wrote the number eight,

312
00:10:29,232 --> 00:10:32,277
equal sign, equal sign,
equal sign, equal sign,

313
00:10:32,402 --> 00:10:36,072
equal sign, equal sign,
equal sign, capital D.

314
00:10:38,117 --> 00:10:39,868
Oh. I see what this is.

315
00:10:39,952 --> 00:10:40,953
-This is a…
-Yup.

316
00:10:41,454 --> 00:10:43,288
CALEB [GRUNTING]: Cream turkey.

317
00:10:43,372 --> 00:10:45,172
You know what I could really go for?

318
00:10:45,291 --> 00:10:47,168
People potpie? First of all, Jake,

319
00:10:47,252 --> 00:10:48,253
great alliteration.

320
00:10:48,337 --> 00:10:49,338
Second of all,

321
00:10:49,463 --> 00:10:51,005
just because I was
arrested for cannibalism

322
00:10:51,089 --> 00:10:53,299
doesn't mean that all
I like to eat is people.

323
00:10:53,383 --> 00:10:55,183
I was gonna say "a chicken burrito."

324
00:10:55,762 --> 00:10:57,638
Man, my cousin was so tasty.

325
00:10:57,764 --> 00:10:59,265
Oh, come on.

326
00:11:00,767 --> 00:11:01,768
Hello.

327
00:11:02,101 --> 00:11:03,853
You're gonna die in here, cop.

328
00:11:06,732 --> 00:11:08,482
What's up, Caleb? What's up, Chico?

329
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,737
It's so crazy. They hate you so much,

330
00:11:11,904 --> 00:11:13,239
they don't even care about me.

331
00:11:13,323 --> 00:11:14,949
Yeah, congratulations.

332
00:11:15,950 --> 00:11:17,702
I think I'm gonna need to join a gang.

333
00:11:17,786 --> 00:11:18,953
And that way, I'll have protection

334
00:11:19,037 --> 00:11:20,037
and no one will mess with me.

335
00:11:20,121 --> 00:11:21,122
I don't know, man.

336
00:11:21,206 --> 00:11:22,416
Joining a gang is not that easy.

337
00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:23,500
It would be for me.

338
00:11:23,584 --> 00:11:25,961
I once took a seminar on
how to ace job interviews,

339
00:11:26,045 --> 00:11:27,462
and I'm really good at them.

340
00:11:27,546 --> 00:11:29,715
Really? This I've gotta see.

341
00:11:29,799 --> 00:11:31,216
Hey, everyone, I'm Jake.

342
00:11:31,300 --> 00:11:33,261
Thank you so much
for sitting down with me.

343
00:11:33,345 --> 00:11:34,846
I just need a moment of your time,

344
00:11:34,930 --> 00:11:37,098
and then you can get back
to watching your stories.

345
00:11:37,182 --> 00:11:38,391
What can I tell you about myself?

346
00:11:38,475 --> 00:11:41,228
Well, I'm hardworking,
incredibly motivated.

347
00:11:41,312 --> 00:11:43,397
I can make a shiv out of anything.

348
00:11:43,481 --> 00:11:44,815
I am deceptively athletic.

349
00:11:44,899 --> 00:11:46,358
I'm not sure if your gang likes to play

350
00:11:46,442 --> 00:11:48,653
B-ball out in the yard, but I can dunk.

351
00:11:48,778 --> 00:11:50,071
[STRAINING] Oakley…

352
00:11:50,155 --> 00:11:52,616
And I'm just super excited to join…

353
00:11:52,950 --> 00:11:54,034
What are you guys called again?

354
00:11:54,118 --> 00:11:55,119
ISIS.

355
00:11:56,036 --> 00:11:57,037
ISIS?

356
00:11:57,913 --> 00:12:00,583
Cool. Well, I am excited to join…

357
00:12:01,251 --> 00:12:02,293
ISIS.

358
00:12:04,003 --> 00:12:05,797
I can't believe I went 0 for 16.

359
00:12:06,172 --> 00:12:08,133
I got rejected by my safety gang.

360
00:12:08,509 --> 00:12:09,718
I'm gonna die in here!

361
00:12:09,802 --> 00:12:11,261
Well, there is one more option,

362
00:12:11,345 --> 00:12:12,395
but it's a long shot.

363
00:12:12,596 --> 00:12:13,597
Remember that guy Romero

364
00:12:13,681 --> 00:12:14,848
who you got the cell phone from?

365
00:12:14,932 --> 00:12:16,224
If you got in good with his crew,

366
00:12:16,308 --> 00:12:17,894
nobody would dare touch you.

367
00:12:18,103 --> 00:12:20,439
But he is real scary and crazy.

368
00:12:20,564 --> 00:12:22,274
Okay, and how anti-Semitic is he?

369
00:12:24,276 --> 00:12:26,153
Average? Then let's give it a shot!

370
00:12:27,029 --> 00:12:28,614
So, Picante Beef,

371
00:12:28,739 --> 00:12:30,574
I hear you wanna be part of my crew.

372
00:12:30,658 --> 00:12:32,868
Not ideally the nickname I
would've chosen for myself,

373
00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:34,370
but yes, I think, I
could be of help to you.

374
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:36,704
Do you know how long
I've been in this prison?

375
00:12:37,291 --> 00:12:39,418
Seventeen years!

376
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,710
Well, you look great. And not once,

377
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:44,297
in all of that time, Beefy…
It's just "Beefy" now?

378
00:12:44,381 --> 00:12:47,635
Have I ever seen
anything as disrespectful

379
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:50,930
as a cop coming into my prison

380
00:12:51,097 --> 00:12:53,016
telling me how to eat my soups!

381
00:12:55,352 --> 00:12:56,854
But damn!

382
00:12:57,438 --> 00:12:59,439
Crumbling the noodle on top

383
00:12:59,523 --> 00:13:01,567
gives it an extra little crispity-snap!

384
00:13:01,984 --> 00:13:03,778
I was blown away. Wasn't I, Tank?

385
00:13:03,862 --> 00:13:05,462
Hasn't stopped talking about it.

386
00:13:05,697 --> 00:13:07,240
Come here, Beef Baby!

387
00:13:10,494 --> 00:13:13,080
Great. So, does this mean
that I'm part of the crew?

388
00:13:13,789 --> 00:13:15,124
Nobody can touch you now.

389
00:13:15,249 --> 00:13:17,292
Wow, guess all it took was the ramen tip.

390
00:13:17,376 --> 00:13:18,377
Actually, you gotta do

391
00:13:18,461 --> 00:13:19,545
one more thing for me to close the deal.

392
00:13:19,629 --> 00:13:20,796
Absolutely, no problem.

393
00:13:20,922 --> 00:13:22,966
Actually, I have a great
idea for a ramen dessert.

394
00:13:23,050 --> 00:13:24,384
You make it with Jell-O mix.

395
00:13:24,468 --> 00:13:25,818
I need you to kill a guard.

396
00:13:26,678 --> 00:13:28,847
Oh, okay. Great.

397
00:13:28,972 --> 00:13:30,223
Cool-cool-cool-cool, cool-cool-cool.

398
00:13:30,307 --> 00:13:31,934
Beef Baby's out for blood.

399
00:13:32,018 --> 00:13:33,019
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

400
00:13:33,686 --> 00:13:34,687
So…

401
00:13:37,649 --> 00:13:40,319
Okay.
This guard you're gonna kill, Wilson…

402
00:13:40,444 --> 00:13:41,736
Oh, I'd rather not know his name.

403
00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:42,821
It's Alan Wilson.

404
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,406
He's got a three-year-old, Dexter.

405
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:45,657
They call him Dex. Cool.

406
00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:46,908
I'm not worried at all about little Dex.

407
00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:48,368
I'm sure he'll be fine. I mean…

408
00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:49,912
I grew up without a dad. Yeah?

409
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,289
Me too. So did I.

410
00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:52,748
See? And we're all doing great.

411
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,834
Can I ask what this
Wilson did to deserve this?

412
00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:55,918
He beat the crap out of me.

413
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,253
How? More importantly,

414
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,687
he keeps interfering with
my business interests.

415
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:01,216
But it's about my thing too, right?

416
00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:02,384
Of course.

417
00:14:02,468 --> 00:14:04,053
[MOUTHING]

418
00:14:04,178 --> 00:14:06,878
How are you gonna do it?
Shiv him, shank him, stab him?

419
00:14:07,641 --> 00:14:08,892
Are those different?

420
00:14:09,851 --> 00:14:11,353
Oh, boy.

421
00:14:11,478 --> 00:14:13,021
Should I be asking
someone else to do this?

422
00:14:13,105 --> 00:14:14,230
No, no, no, no. It's fine.

423
00:14:14,314 --> 00:14:15,482
I'm gonna prove myself to you.

424
00:14:15,566 --> 00:14:16,776
But, what if,

425
00:14:17,527 --> 00:14:19,612
instead of killing
Wilson, we get him fired?

426
00:14:19,696 --> 00:14:21,030
That way, you don't
have another man's death

427
00:14:21,114 --> 00:14:22,615
on your conscience.
Yeah, that doesn't bother me.

428
00:14:22,699 --> 00:14:23,991
No, of course not. Why would it?

429
00:14:24,075 --> 00:14:25,075
But if we murder him,

430
00:14:25,159 --> 00:14:26,161
there's gonna be an investigation,

431
00:14:26,245 --> 00:14:27,787
and that could bring a lot of
heat down on you, you know?

432
00:14:27,871 --> 00:14:29,414
I can see that. But that's not how

433
00:14:29,498 --> 00:14:30,790
we usually do things around here.

434
00:14:30,874 --> 00:14:31,875
Sure, but you know what else

435
00:14:31,959 --> 00:14:33,659
you didn't used to do around here?

436
00:14:34,128 --> 00:14:36,428
Sprinkle uncooked noodles
on top of your ramen.

437
00:14:41,261 --> 00:14:43,346
You're right. You're right,

438
00:14:43,430 --> 00:14:45,380
you've earned the benefit of the doubt.

439
00:14:45,725 --> 00:14:47,392
You have 24 hours, Beef Baby.

440
00:14:47,476 --> 00:14:48,477
Jake.

441
00:14:49,020 --> 00:14:52,814
Beef Baby. Jake.

442
00:14:52,898 --> 00:14:54,026
Beef baby!

443
00:14:57,112 --> 00:14:58,113
Beef Baby.

444
00:14:58,655 --> 00:14:59,739
[WHISPERING] Okay, here's the plan.

445
00:14:59,823 --> 00:15:01,407
Tank said Wilson beats up inmates,

446
00:15:01,491 --> 00:15:03,452
so all I have to do is
get him to attack me,

447
00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:05,120
and then file a complaint
with the prison board.

448
00:15:05,204 --> 00:15:07,498
Sure, but whenever the bulls attack us,

449
00:15:07,582 --> 00:15:09,667
which happens all the
time, the security cameras

450
00:15:09,751 --> 00:15:11,545
are conveniently not working that day.

451
00:15:11,629 --> 00:15:13,588
So, it's just your word against theirs.

452
00:15:13,672 --> 00:15:16,049
Well, lucky for me, I have my own camera.

453
00:15:16,133 --> 00:15:17,801
It's the perfect plan.

454
00:15:17,885 --> 00:15:19,386
Hey, I've never been beaten
up by a prison guard before.

455
00:15:19,470 --> 00:15:20,805
They don't use that baton, do they?

456
00:15:20,889 --> 00:15:22,139
You seem pretty committed to this plan,

457
00:15:22,223 --> 00:15:24,323
so there's no real
benefit to me answering.

458
00:15:24,809 --> 00:15:25,810
Sounds good.

459
00:15:26,061 --> 00:15:27,061
So, you painted my apartment?

460
00:15:27,145 --> 00:15:29,564
Walls in "White Wisp,"
trim in "Honeymilk."

461
00:15:29,815 --> 00:15:30,816
And you filed my taxes? You're getting

462
00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:32,234
your maximum refund.

463
00:15:32,318 --> 00:15:33,318
And you picked up my
<i>abuela</i> at the airport?

464
00:15:33,402 --> 00:15:34,403
Yes, I went and got her

465
00:15:34,487 --> 00:15:36,989
at the Philadelphia
International Airport in…

466
00:15:37,198 --> 00:15:38,740
Pennsylvania.
And you broke the news to her

467
00:15:38,824 --> 00:15:39,909
about how I got sent to prison,

468
00:15:39,993 --> 00:15:41,160
and she'll probably die before I get out?

469
00:15:41,244 --> 00:15:42,870
Mm-hmm, had that fun conversation.

470
00:15:42,954 --> 00:15:44,205
But it was all worth it for you,

471
00:15:44,289 --> 00:15:46,333
you poor little caged bird.

472
00:15:46,458 --> 00:15:47,959
Great, because I have
another favor to ask.

473
00:15:48,043 --> 00:15:49,044
Another? Yeah.

474
00:15:49,128 --> 00:15:50,628
I need you to cancel my cable.

475
00:15:52,298 --> 00:15:53,299
That's it?

476
00:15:55,551 --> 00:15:56,552
That's easy.

477
00:15:56,636 --> 00:15:58,388
I've been on the phone for six hours

478
00:15:58,472 --> 00:16:00,222
and I just wanna cancel an account.

479
00:16:00,724 --> 00:16:01,725
Yes, you've mentioned the bundles

480
00:16:01,809 --> 00:16:03,686
and I don't want home phone service.

481
00:16:04,144 --> 00:16:06,355
No, do not transfer me, Rodrigo. No, no!

482
00:16:06,690 --> 00:16:09,275
[YELLING] No, Rodrigo!

483
00:16:09,359 --> 00:16:10,568
All right, there's Wilson.

484
00:16:10,652 --> 00:16:12,862
I'll go make him mad. When he attacks me,

485
00:16:13,154 --> 00:16:14,739
you film it. Then afterwards,

486
00:16:14,823 --> 00:16:15,949
we'll meet up in the bathroom.

487
00:16:16,033 --> 00:16:17,492
Okay, great.
What are you gonna do to get him angry?

488
00:16:17,576 --> 00:16:18,952
Well, I don't know him,

489
00:16:19,036 --> 00:16:20,454
so I'm not sure what buttons to push,

490
00:16:20,538 --> 00:16:22,331
but I'm sure if I try enough things,

491
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:23,765
something will set him off.

492
00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:26,294
Excuse me, can I ask you a question?

493
00:16:26,378 --> 00:16:28,713
Get back to your table.
Yeah, you know, I would,

494
00:16:28,797 --> 00:16:29,923
except for… [GRUNTS]

495
00:16:30,298 --> 00:16:31,591
Oh, my God, that's all it took?

496
00:16:31,675 --> 00:16:32,925
I told you to get back to your table!

497
00:16:33,009 --> 00:16:34,804
[THWACKING]

498
00:16:36,639 --> 00:16:38,265
Are you okay? Yeah.

499
00:16:38,349 --> 00:16:39,475
What hurts the most is knowing

500
00:16:39,559 --> 00:16:41,101
that prisoners are
treated this way every day

501
00:16:41,185 --> 00:16:42,186
in our penal system.

502
00:16:42,311 --> 00:16:44,690
Also, he kicked me in the wiener a bunch.
Mmm.

503
00:16:44,857 --> 00:16:46,399
Show me the video.
I'll send it to Charles,

504
00:16:46,483 --> 00:16:48,109
he'll say he got it
anonymously, and then…

505
00:16:48,193 --> 00:16:49,194
-[THUDDING]
-[GRUNTING]

506
00:16:49,278 --> 00:16:50,654
PERALTA: <i>Oh, my God, that's all it took?</i>

507
00:16:50,738 --> 00:16:51,739
Caleb, is this it?

508
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:53,824
Did you film yourself the whole time?

509
00:16:53,908 --> 00:16:56,160
Okay, look, I've been
in prison for 15 years.

510
00:16:56,244 --> 00:16:57,954
I'm not good with new technology.

511
00:16:58,079 --> 00:16:59,914
You want somebody to lure a kid to a park

512
00:16:59,998 --> 00:17:02,376
using a Lycos chatroom, I'm your man.

513
00:17:02,501 --> 00:17:05,504
Look, just press this button
and make it front-facing.

514
00:17:05,588 --> 00:17:06,963
Come on, let's try it again.

515
00:17:07,047 --> 00:17:08,632
Hey, Wilson!

516
00:17:08,716 --> 00:17:12,179
-[GRUNTS]
-[THWACKING]

517
00:17:12,471 --> 00:17:13,721
Please tell me you were pointed

518
00:17:13,805 --> 00:17:15,056
in the right direction that time.

519
00:17:15,140 --> 00:17:16,990
Yes, but there was a different issue.

520
00:17:17,768 --> 00:17:20,104
-[GRUNTS]
-[THWACKING]

521
00:17:20,271 --> 00:17:22,523
Caleb! You added the fiesta filter?

522
00:17:22,607 --> 00:17:24,025
I'm doing the best I can.

523
00:17:24,150 --> 00:17:25,567
Tell that to my wiener!

524
00:17:25,651 --> 00:17:27,986
I'm doing the… No! Don't really… Gosh!

525
00:17:28,070 --> 00:17:29,531
-[THWACKING]
-[GRUNTING]

526
00:17:29,656 --> 00:17:32,450
Okay, how'd you screw it up this time?

527
00:17:32,534 --> 00:17:34,036
I didn't. I got everything.

528
00:17:34,161 --> 00:17:35,870
I even zoomed in for some close-ups.

529
00:17:35,954 --> 00:17:37,498
Oh, thank God.

530
00:17:37,999 --> 00:17:39,959
I was so sure that something
was gonna go wrong.

531
00:17:40,043 --> 00:17:41,211
Hey there, Peralta.

532
00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:43,213
Oh, I'll take that phone now.

533
00:17:48,677 --> 00:17:50,846
I heard an inmate and a
guard were having a fight,

534
00:17:50,930 --> 00:17:52,597
so I go to do what I normally do,

535
00:17:52,681 --> 00:17:54,350
turn off the security cameras.

536
00:17:54,475 --> 00:17:55,892
Yeah, cool policy. This place is great.

537
00:17:55,976 --> 00:17:58,146
And that's when I
noticed your cannibal pal,

538
00:17:58,230 --> 00:18:00,398
taping the whole fight
with an illegal cell phone.

539
00:18:00,482 --> 00:18:02,442
And what were you
planning on doing with this?

540
00:18:02,526 --> 00:18:03,652
Blackmailing Wilson?

541
00:18:03,777 --> 00:18:05,404
No, I was trying to save his life.

542
00:18:05,488 --> 00:18:07,030
Ah, come on. Honestly. I was ordered

543
00:18:07,114 --> 00:18:09,366
by this guy, Romero.
I don't know his first name.

544
00:18:09,450 --> 00:18:10,451
Jeff? Really?

545
00:18:10,535 --> 00:18:11,910
Romero's first name is Jeff? Yeah.

546
00:18:11,994 --> 00:18:13,787
Anyway, Jeff ordered me to kill Wilson.

547
00:18:13,871 --> 00:18:15,415
But I convinced him to let your guy live

548
00:18:15,499 --> 00:18:16,916
if I got him fired instead.

549
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,168
Why do you want him to lose his job?

550
00:18:18,252 --> 00:18:19,461
He's a good man with a family.

551
00:18:19,545 --> 00:18:21,337
I mean, he did stomp on
my head a bunch of times.

552
00:18:21,421 --> 00:18:22,721
Those were warning stomps.

553
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,258
What are you, part of Romero's crew now?

554
00:18:24,342 --> 00:18:25,885
No, I was trying to get in.

555
00:18:26,010 --> 00:18:28,137
That's what the video was
for, but obviously, it didn't work.

556
00:18:28,221 --> 00:18:29,347
All right.

557
00:18:30,807 --> 00:18:32,225
I'll fire Wilson. Really?

558
00:18:33,018 --> 00:18:34,394
Why? Romero's responsible

559
00:18:34,478 --> 00:18:36,521
for most of the illegal stuff
that goes on in this prison.

560
00:18:36,605 --> 00:18:38,231
I've always wanted a man on the inside.

561
00:18:38,315 --> 00:18:39,775
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.

562
00:18:39,859 --> 00:18:40,984
The only people less popular in here

563
00:18:41,068 --> 00:18:42,195
than cops are snitches.

564
00:18:42,279 --> 00:18:43,571
Well, let's be honest,
it's not great in here

565
00:18:43,655 --> 00:18:45,072
for trans people. That is so true.

566
00:18:45,156 --> 00:18:47,492
I know. They have a hard time.

567
00:18:47,617 --> 00:18:48,618
It's a problem.

568
00:18:48,910 --> 00:18:51,998
Regardless, I won't snitch, okay?
It's too dangerous.

569
00:18:52,123 --> 00:18:53,457
I'll find some other way to stay alive.

570
00:18:53,541 --> 00:18:55,091
All right. Good luck with that.

571
00:18:58,170 --> 00:18:59,213
[SIGHING] Wait!

572
00:19:01,174 --> 00:19:02,274
I'll do what you want,

573
00:19:03,468 --> 00:19:04,868
if you let me keep my phone.

574
00:19:05,596 --> 00:19:07,639
So, were you able to cancel my cable?

575
00:19:07,723 --> 00:19:09,098
Of course. It was easy.

576
00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:10,982
Good, because I have something else.

577
00:19:11,477 --> 00:19:13,062
I need you to take my dog to Argentina

578
00:19:13,146 --> 00:19:14,396
to be with Adrian on his ranch.

579
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:16,398
Now, I know what you're gonna
ask me, and the answer is no,

580
00:19:16,482 --> 00:19:17,817
I don't have a map of the booby traps,

581
00:19:17,901 --> 00:19:18,902
but I can tell you how he thinks.

582
00:19:18,986 --> 00:19:19,987
Enough!

583
00:19:20,654 --> 00:19:22,447
I'm sorry, I hate to say this,

584
00:19:22,531 --> 00:19:24,867
but you're asking too much of us.

585
00:19:26,410 --> 00:19:28,010
Is that how you feel too, Sarge?

586
00:19:29,331 --> 00:19:31,499
Yeah, Rosa, damn. Good, finally.

587
00:19:31,583 --> 00:19:33,752
BOTH: What? Look, prison is awful.

588
00:19:34,127 --> 00:19:36,170
I hate it here. I'm lonely, I'm scared.

589
00:19:36,254 --> 00:19:37,422
I just wanna be back home,

590
00:19:37,506 --> 00:19:38,924
and I was happy you
guys were coming to visit,

591
00:19:39,008 --> 00:19:40,843
but then you started
calling me by my first name,

592
00:19:40,927 --> 00:19:42,803
and you kept making
that crazy crying face.

593
00:19:42,887 --> 00:19:45,180
The only one that is acting
like himself is Hitchcock.

594
00:19:45,264 --> 00:19:46,266
GUARD: You!

595
00:19:46,558 --> 00:19:47,559
Shirt back on!

596
00:19:47,643 --> 00:19:49,353
Stop being such a prude.

597
00:19:49,478 --> 00:19:50,478
If I'm gonna get through this,

598
00:19:50,562 --> 00:19:52,814
I need to feel like
my old life isn't gone.

599
00:19:53,148 --> 00:19:54,858
I need normal interactions.

600
00:19:54,983 --> 00:19:56,068
So, I need you guys to fight with me,

601
00:19:56,152 --> 00:19:57,945
and be honest with me, and tell me "no"

602
00:19:58,029 --> 00:19:59,429
when I'm being unreasonable.

603
00:19:59,989 --> 00:20:02,825
Okay, I promise. No more crying face.

604
00:20:02,951 --> 00:20:04,870
[SIGHS IN RELIEF] And no more pity, Diaz.

605
00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:06,663
Thank you.
I can't believe it took that long.

606
00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:07,747
I really thought the cable company

607
00:20:07,831 --> 00:20:09,958
was gonna break you.
It did. But the good news is,

608
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,669
you now have Epix,

609
00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:14,506
plus some channel
called "Tunez," with a "Z."

610
00:20:15,298 --> 00:20:16,341
Two-year commitment.

611
00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:20,678
What else?
Oh, you're never gonna believe this.

612
00:20:20,762 --> 00:20:22,096
-I've been reading.
-SANTIAGO: Reading?

613
00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:23,807
Like, books by real authors?

614
00:20:23,891 --> 00:20:25,991
I don't know, is Philip
Roth a real author?

615
00:20:26,185 --> 00:20:27,895
Oh, my goodness!

616
00:20:28,604 --> 00:20:30,439
I wish you had gone to prison years ago.

617
00:20:30,523 --> 00:20:33,109
I'm kidding.
Obviously, I'm not more attracted to you

618
00:20:33,193 --> 00:20:34,319
now than before.

619
00:20:36,154 --> 00:20:37,530
<i>So, what else have you been reading?</i>

620
00:20:37,614 --> 00:20:38,615
Hang on one sec.

621
00:20:39,908 --> 00:20:42,036
Hey, boss, what's up?
I saw you got Wilson fired.

622
00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:43,913
Nice work. Welcome aboard.

623
00:20:44,163 --> 00:20:46,413
Thank you.
I promise you, you won't regret it.

624
00:20:49,877 --> 00:20:50,921
Just one more thing,

625
00:20:51,422 --> 00:20:52,965
I know you used to be a cop.

626
00:20:53,882 --> 00:20:56,801
If you screw me over, I
will cut your testicles off

627
00:20:56,885 --> 00:20:59,585
and watch you bleed to death in the dirt.
You got that?

628
00:21:01,224 --> 00:21:02,225
Can I trust you?

629
00:21:03,143 --> 00:21:05,061
Yeah. I got nothing to hide.

630
00:21:05,937 --> 00:21:07,063
I'm your Beef Baby.

631
00:21:14,238 --> 00:21:16,239
<i>Hey, sorry about that.</i>

632
00:21:16,323 --> 00:21:17,324
Where were we?

633
00:21:17,408 --> 00:21:20,119
Jake, that sounded really bad.
Is everything okay?

634
00:21:20,203 --> 00:21:21,621
Yeah. Everything's fine.

635
00:21:22,664 --> 00:21:23,665
I'm talking to you.