1
00:00:05,346 --> 00:00:06,807
What? Uh…
2
00:00:07,141 --> 00:00:10,770
Nothing. I'm gonna go over to there now.
3
00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:14,150
Jake, what's going on?
Why is Amy's hair like that?
4
00:00:14,234 --> 00:00:16,570
Oh, she obsessively braids
her hair when she's nervous,
5
00:00:16,654 --> 00:00:19,032
and she's super nervous 'cause
she's taking the sergeant's exam today.
6
00:00:19,116 --> 00:00:20,867
But Amy loves tests. Not this one.
7
00:00:20,951 --> 00:00:22,244
It's always been her plan
to be the youngest captain
8
00:00:22,328 --> 00:00:23,788
in the history of the NYPD,
9
00:00:23,872 --> 00:00:25,248
but if she doesn't pass this exam,
10
00:00:25,332 --> 00:00:26,667
she's gonna have to
wait another three years
11
00:00:26,751 --> 00:00:28,795
to take it again, and that'll
disrupt her entire life calendar.
12
00:00:28,879 --> 00:00:29,922
Is that a real thing?
13
00:00:30,006 --> 00:00:31,090
It hangs over our bed.
14
00:00:31,174 --> 00:00:32,550
DIAZ: So she's stress-braiding. Big deal.
15
00:00:32,634 --> 00:00:34,428
That's like a one on the
Santiago Panic Scale.
16
00:00:34,512 --> 00:00:36,598
Yeah.
But we've also jumped up to level two.
17
00:00:36,682 --> 00:00:39,102
Creepily singing songs from
the Great American Songbook.
18
00:00:39,186 --> 00:00:44,776
You're a grand old flag
You're a high flying flag
19
00:00:45,027 --> 00:00:46,486
So, yeah, it's a little tough right now.
20
00:00:46,570 --> 00:00:47,947
But I think the worst is behind us.
21
00:00:48,031 --> 00:00:51,118
Why are you taking so long
to cook my freakin' oatmeal?
22
00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:52,746
[GRUNTS]
23
00:00:53,038 --> 00:00:54,122
Yeah.
24
00:00:54,749 --> 00:00:56,083
[GRUNTING]
25
00:01:02,718 --> 00:01:03,802
She'll be okay.
26
00:01:04,888 --> 00:01:06,890
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
27
00:01:26,709 --> 00:01:28,254
Hey, babe. Oh!
28
00:01:28,754 --> 00:01:31,841
I see you've taken the braids out.
Your hair looks fun.
29
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,844
Now it's ready for me to braid again.
Okay.
30
00:01:33,928 --> 00:01:36,055
Ames, I don't want you
to take this the wrong way,
31
00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:39,978
but you gotta calm the F-train down.
You're gonna ace this test.
32
00:01:40,062 --> 00:01:42,899
You think that because you love me.
And love has made you dumb.
33
00:01:42,983 --> 00:01:44,734
I disagree.
If anything, love has made me smarter.
34
00:01:44,818 --> 00:01:46,361
Remember last week,
when I boiled that egg?
35
00:01:46,445 --> 00:01:47,864
That was big. I was really proud of you.
36
00:01:47,948 --> 00:01:50,326
Yes, and, hold on to your crazy-ass hair,
37
00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:51,702
'cause I'm about to prove to you
38
00:01:51,786 --> 00:01:53,747
that you have nothing to worry about.
Follow me.
39
00:01:53,831 --> 00:01:54,915
Practice test.
40
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:58,128
You ace it, you relax, you nail the
real one, you become a sergeant,
41
00:01:58,212 --> 00:01:59,964
you make grateful love
to me for 14 hours straight.
42
00:02:00,048 --> 00:02:01,132
Jake…
43
00:02:01,216 --> 00:02:03,552
Fine. One hour. Fifteen minutes. Eight.
44
00:02:03,636 --> 00:02:04,720
Three, but they're mind-blowing.
45
00:02:04,804 --> 00:02:05,889
I've told you a million times…
46
00:02:05,973 --> 00:02:07,224
You don't really want more than three.
47
00:02:07,308 --> 00:02:09,018
No. Practice exams are worthless.
48
00:02:09,102 --> 00:02:11,104
The testing conditions
are way too pristine.
49
00:02:11,188 --> 00:02:12,397
There's nothing to distract you.
50
00:02:12,481 --> 00:02:15,444
I mean, look around, a child could
pass the freaking MCAT in here.
51
00:02:15,528 --> 00:02:19,074
I knew you would say that, which
is why I've asked these officers
52
00:02:19,283 --> 00:02:21,744
to do their paperwork in
here while you take the test.
53
00:02:21,828 --> 00:02:24,039
He writes way too loudly,
she's always yawning,
54
00:02:24,123 --> 00:02:27,335
he has a gross cold… IBS, IBS.
55
00:02:27,419 --> 00:02:29,672
She has a weird arm-stretching thing.
56
00:02:29,756 --> 00:02:31,383
IBS, IBS.
57
00:02:31,467 --> 00:02:34,428
And Hitchcock and Scully with
two hours' worth of potato chips.
58
00:02:34,512 --> 00:02:36,640
Oh, my God, it's gonna be Crinkle City.
59
00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:38,768
Jake says we get to eat
with our mouths open.
60
00:02:38,852 --> 00:02:40,061
What a day!
61
00:02:40,145 --> 00:02:42,523
Babe, take the practice test.
62
00:02:42,607 --> 00:02:43,692
Then you'll know you're ready.
63
00:02:43,776 --> 00:02:45,612
Okay. See you in two hours.
64
00:02:46,988 --> 00:02:47,520
[KNOCKING]
65
00:02:47,604 --> 00:02:49,283
Sir, a witness just
came in with her child.
66
00:02:49,367 --> 00:02:50,535
And while she was being interviewed,
67
00:02:50,619 --> 00:02:52,161
I took the kid to the soft room,
68
00:02:52,245 --> 00:02:54,331
and the toy situation
in there is kind of bleak.
69
00:02:54,415 --> 00:02:56,084
Is this your opinion,
or the child's opinion?
70
00:02:56,168 --> 00:02:57,294
It's mine. Trick question.
71
00:02:57,378 --> 00:02:59,297
Any opinion about
toys is a child's opinion.
72
00:02:59,381 --> 00:03:01,883
All we have in there are
toys from the movie Kazaam,
73
00:03:01,967 --> 00:03:03,617
and none of them are even Kazaam.
74
00:03:05,263 --> 00:03:06,932
I have an extra graphing calculator
75
00:03:07,016 --> 00:03:08,643
I could leave in there for the children.
76
00:03:08,727 --> 00:03:11,773
Um, I was thinking we
could liven things up in there.
77
00:03:11,940 --> 00:03:15,110
Maybe add a model train.
I used to love them when I was a kid.
78
00:03:15,194 --> 00:03:17,405
I was also a model train
enthusiast as a child.
79
00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:19,325
Those miniature tracks provided me
80
00:03:19,409 --> 00:03:21,109
with some of my happiest memories.
81
00:03:22,079 --> 00:03:25,291
All aboard!
The train will be departing in 45 minutes.
82
00:03:32,135 --> 00:03:33,427
I like this idea, Jeffords.
83
00:03:33,511 --> 00:03:35,561
I'll help you build the train set. Sweet!
84
00:03:35,723 --> 00:03:37,475
This'll be fun! I hope not.
85
00:03:38,393 --> 00:03:39,520
It's trains.
86
00:03:39,729 --> 00:03:43,399
Gina, as you know, Great
Nana Boyle recently passed.
87
00:03:43,483 --> 00:03:46,946
Yes. I watched the live stream
of the plug-pulling ceremony.
88
00:03:47,030 --> 00:03:49,033
Anyway, they executed her will.
89
00:03:49,117 --> 00:03:50,326
Guess what she left me. No.
90
00:03:50,410 --> 00:03:52,996
Her silk bedsheets.
They were very special to her.
91
00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:54,374
She insisted on dying in them.
92
00:03:54,458 --> 00:03:56,758
Don't get jealous.
She left you something, too.
93
00:03:56,961 --> 00:03:58,045
Aw.
94
00:03:58,129 --> 00:03:59,673
That's so nice of her.
95
00:03:59,757 --> 00:04:03,762
And it's a big jar of brown
sludge that smells like death.
96
00:04:03,846 --> 00:04:06,182
Oh! You got the mother dough!
97
00:04:06,307 --> 00:04:07,725
Ugh, did this come out of her?
98
00:04:07,809 --> 00:04:10,104
Charles, how grossed
out should I be right now?
99
00:04:10,188 --> 00:04:12,440
No.
That's the Boyle family sourdough starter.
100
00:04:12,524 --> 00:04:14,443
It's fed us for 140 years.
101
00:04:14,527 --> 00:04:18,991
The bread it births is succulent and firm.
Tang for days.
102
00:04:19,075 --> 00:04:21,202
I hate so many of the
words you just used.
103
00:04:21,286 --> 00:04:22,705
Charles, if it's so great,
104
00:04:22,789 --> 00:04:24,958
why would she give it to me?
I barely knew her.
105
00:04:25,042 --> 00:04:27,878
You know what, she probably got
you confused with my cousin, Tina.
106
00:04:27,962 --> 00:04:29,256
He was always her favorite.
107
00:04:29,340 --> 00:04:30,507
Tina is a boy's name?
108
00:04:30,591 --> 00:04:32,135
Yeah, it's short for Christina.
109
00:04:32,219 --> 00:04:34,471
You're right. It's pretty gross.
You don't bake bread.
110
00:04:34,555 --> 00:04:35,764
Let me take it off your hands.
111
00:04:35,848 --> 00:04:38,977
Ooh, Charles. Charles, Charles, Charles.
112
00:04:39,186 --> 00:04:41,272
You already showed your cards, baby boy.
113
00:04:41,523 --> 00:04:42,983
I know how badly you want this,
114
00:04:43,067 --> 00:04:44,360
so you're gonna have to pay for it.
115
00:04:44,444 --> 00:04:45,528
Gina, please.
116
00:04:45,612 --> 00:04:46,989
No, I'll take $10,000.
117
00:04:47,073 --> 00:04:48,907
What? Are you outta your mind?
118
00:04:48,991 --> 00:04:50,160
Probably. You don't even want that!
119
00:04:50,244 --> 00:04:51,661
You said it smelled like death.
120
00:04:51,745 --> 00:04:54,249
I thought it did. But now… [SNIFFS]
121
00:04:54,416 --> 00:04:55,500
Mmm!
122
00:04:55,584 --> 00:04:57,086
It smells like opportunity.
123
00:04:57,170 --> 00:04:58,254
Ah.
124
00:04:58,338 --> 00:05:00,758
Oh, God, it really does smell bad.
My eyes hurt.
125
00:05:01,926 --> 00:05:04,262
[SIGHS] What are you
looking all wistful about?
126
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:06,724
Just thinking, about
relationships and love.
127
00:05:06,808 --> 00:05:09,352
And how I'm way better at
them than I thought I'd be.
128
00:05:09,436 --> 00:05:10,521
Should I do a TED Talk on it?
129
00:05:10,605 --> 00:05:12,357
Doesn't seem any dumber
than all the other TED Talks.
130
00:05:12,441 --> 00:05:15,195
I mean, Amy was a wreck and I fixed her.
131
00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:17,030
The weird thing is, I love her so much,
132
00:05:17,114 --> 00:05:18,199
I don't even feel like bragging about it.
133
00:05:18,283 --> 00:05:19,366
Clearly. You get it.
134
00:05:19,450 --> 00:05:21,369
All right, two things.
One, we're out of chips.
135
00:05:21,453 --> 00:05:22,622
How? You skimped us.
136
00:05:23,164 --> 00:05:26,460
And two, Amy left and
asked me to give you this note.
137
00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:28,713
What'd she say?
She go out to get us more chips?
138
00:05:28,797 --> 00:05:31,550
No. The practice test freaked her out.
139
00:05:31,634 --> 00:05:33,484
She's not taking the sergeant's exam.
140
00:05:34,263 --> 00:05:35,307
Damn it! Damn it!
141
00:05:37,435 --> 00:05:39,311
Amy's not in the break room.
Or the evidence room.
142
00:05:39,395 --> 00:05:40,856
Or the ladies' bathroom.
143
00:05:41,398 --> 00:05:43,693
You know what? I'll check again.
144
00:05:44,152 --> 00:05:47,239
I've never seen him walk with
such purpose. What a wretched man.
145
00:05:47,323 --> 00:05:48,491
I can't believe this is happening.
146
00:05:48,575 --> 00:05:49,617
I didn't think there was any way
147
00:05:49,701 --> 00:05:50,786
she could fail the practice test.
148
00:05:50,870 --> 00:05:52,789
Well, we still have three
hours until the exam.
149
00:05:52,873 --> 00:05:54,123
First, we gotta figure out where she is.
150
00:05:54,207 --> 00:05:56,627
All right, think. If you were Amy,
where would you be right now?
151
00:05:56,711 --> 00:05:59,798
Oh, uh. Boring pantsuit
store, a crossword factory,
152
00:05:59,882 --> 00:06:01,843
a museum of retainers and headgear.
153
00:06:01,927 --> 00:06:03,971
Is it possible to enter the color beige?
154
00:06:04,055 --> 00:06:06,975
All right. Ooh, I know.
I can call her from Sarge's phone.
155
00:06:07,059 --> 00:06:10,230
There's no way she'll turn
down a call from a superior officer.
156
00:06:10,522 --> 00:06:11,622
[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]
157
00:06:11,815 --> 00:06:14,778
Everybody shush. It's ringing.
I can hear her phone.
158
00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:18,158
She's still in the building.
She's still in this room!
159
00:06:18,492 --> 00:06:19,868
She's in…
160
00:06:20,327 --> 00:06:21,412
Her desk drawer!
161
00:06:21,579 --> 00:06:23,039
No, it's just her purse.
162
00:06:23,123 --> 00:06:24,875
Phone must be in the purse.
That makes more sense.
163
00:06:24,959 --> 00:06:27,879
Phone, wallet, keys.
She didn't take anything with her.
164
00:06:27,964 --> 00:06:30,257
That means she's still close. Let's go!
165
00:06:30,424 --> 00:06:33,471
Duty Sergeant said
she exited this way, and…
166
00:06:34,514 --> 00:06:36,558
She's not here. Damn it!
167
00:06:36,642 --> 00:06:37,851
Stop thinking about her
like she's your girlfriend.
168
00:06:37,935 --> 00:06:39,020
What would you do if she was a perp?
169
00:06:39,104 --> 00:06:41,690
I guess role-play, try and
see the world through her eyes.
170
00:06:41,774 --> 00:06:44,736
Oh, no. What if I see my reflection
and fall in love with myself?
171
00:06:44,820 --> 00:06:47,031
Jake, we have a literal
ticking-clock situation here.
172
00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:48,909
Roger that. Okay, fine. I'll be Amy.
173
00:06:48,993 --> 00:06:51,913
Just know everything I'm
about to say I say with love.
174
00:06:51,997 --> 00:06:53,039
[EXHALES]
175
00:06:53,499 --> 00:06:55,542
Okay. I'm outside.
176
00:06:55,626 --> 00:06:59,757
It's 78 degrees and yet,
somehow, I'm still cold.
177
00:06:59,841 --> 00:07:01,760
I better walk on the
sunny side of the street.
178
00:07:01,844 --> 00:07:03,554
Wait. Did I remember to put on sunscreen?
179
00:07:03,638 --> 00:07:04,972
Pause to think, pause to think.
180
00:07:05,056 --> 00:07:08,895
Yes, I did put on sunscreen,
and I bragged about it all morning.
181
00:07:08,979 --> 00:07:11,607
Amy's on the move!
And I'm walking, I'm walking…
182
00:07:12,275 --> 00:07:16,405
GP40 Diesel locomotive
with sprung drive wheels,
183
00:07:16,489 --> 00:07:20,285
rule-17 lighting, and
full underbody detailing.
184
00:07:20,369 --> 00:07:22,038
You're gonna be the belle of the ball.
185
00:07:22,122 --> 00:07:24,083
Terry is your God.
186
00:07:24,167 --> 00:07:27,587
All hail Lord Terry, giver of life.
187
00:07:27,671 --> 00:07:30,175
"All hail Lord Terry." [CHUCKLES]
188
00:07:30,759 --> 00:07:32,094
Check out Jeffords Junction.
189
00:07:32,178 --> 00:07:34,430
It's got an ice cream shop, a '50s diner,
190
00:07:34,514 --> 00:07:36,517
and a Mexican restaurant
with a sombrero on it.
191
00:07:36,601 --> 00:07:39,145
What happens to the sombrero
when it rains? I see no drains.
192
00:07:39,229 --> 00:07:41,565
Does it just fill up with water
until the building collapses,
193
00:07:41,649 --> 00:07:42,775
killing everyone inside?
194
00:07:42,859 --> 00:07:45,988
Fun fact, it never rains
at Jeffords Junction.
195
00:07:46,072 --> 00:07:48,784
So, you achieved this level of
lushness through irrigation alone?
196
00:07:48,868 --> 00:07:52,080
I don't know. Look, I'm just
trying to build a fun world.
197
00:07:52,164 --> 00:07:54,750
That's what model trains
are all about, imagination.
198
00:07:54,834 --> 00:07:56,293
No, they're about accuracy.
199
00:07:56,377 --> 00:07:59,632
People wanna see the world around
them exactly as it is, but smaller.
200
00:07:59,716 --> 00:08:02,094
Okay, well, we can have part of the model
201
00:08:02,178 --> 00:08:05,015
be very accurate, and
part of it will be creative.
202
00:08:05,099 --> 00:08:06,141
I'm okay with that.
203
00:08:06,225 --> 00:08:07,810
Yes, yes. As am I.
204
00:08:07,894 --> 00:08:10,564
Would you fetch me the
eight-millimeter level from my office?
205
00:08:10,648 --> 00:08:12,442
Oh. Sure.
206
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:21,162
Oops.
207
00:08:21,914 --> 00:08:24,834
Gina!
I just wanna say, I am disgusted by you.
208
00:08:24,918 --> 00:08:27,171
You somehow lucked your
way into a family heirloom,
209
00:08:27,255 --> 00:08:29,955
and have the gall to ask
me to give you $10,000 for it?
210
00:08:30,050 --> 00:08:31,593
That's an absurd amount of money!
211
00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:33,429
It took me all morning
to get it together.
212
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,598
Oh. I thought you were telling me off.
213
00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:36,600
And what would that get me? Pride?
214
00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:38,352
You can't make bread with pride!
215
00:08:38,436 --> 00:08:41,607
Well, unfortunately, I've changed my mind.
I wanna keep the mother dough.
216
00:08:41,691 --> 00:08:42,859
I'm gonna start baking.
217
00:08:42,943 --> 00:08:45,654
I see what you're doing.
You're trying to up the price.
218
00:08:45,738 --> 00:08:46,823
Well, shame on you.
219
00:08:47,491 --> 00:08:51,162
But also, here you go. An extra $2,000.
220
00:08:51,246 --> 00:08:52,915
You won't get one cent more…
221
00:08:54,125 --> 00:08:55,335
After this.
222
00:08:56,795 --> 00:08:59,048
Charles, get your
chicken leg off my desk.
223
00:08:59,132 --> 00:09:00,509
I don't want your money, Boyle.
224
00:09:00,593 --> 00:09:01,968
What's going on? Nothing.
225
00:09:02,052 --> 00:09:06,183
I just realized that I love
old sour bread so much.
226
00:09:06,267 --> 00:09:07,727
Come on, Gina. Fine!
227
00:09:07,811 --> 00:09:11,608
I put it under my desk, and my
space heater burnt it to a crisp.
228
00:09:11,733 --> 00:09:12,776
[SHRIEKS]
229
00:09:13,652 --> 00:09:15,696
You're a murderer!
Listen, you gotta get over it.
230
00:09:15,780 --> 00:09:18,534
It was just some old bread batter.
It had black spots in it.
231
00:09:18,618 --> 00:09:21,788
Those are the sour spores!
That's where the tang comes from.
232
00:09:21,872 --> 00:09:23,249
That's Tang Town!
233
00:09:23,416 --> 00:09:28,297
I'm walking, I'm walking, and I
am seeing a paper supply store.
234
00:09:28,381 --> 00:09:30,551
I wonder if they have
those new summer folders.
235
00:09:30,635 --> 00:09:33,221
Whoa. You're good. I've definitely
heard her talk about those folders.
236
00:09:33,305 --> 00:09:35,432
That's because they have
such a fun color scheme.
237
00:09:35,516 --> 00:09:37,435
Perfect for vacation organization.
238
00:09:37,519 --> 00:09:39,354
This is chilling.
239
00:09:39,438 --> 00:09:42,192
Darn it to heck. The store is closed.
240
00:09:42,484 --> 00:09:45,780
My bad day just got a
whole heck of a lot worse.
241
00:09:45,864 --> 00:09:48,201
Time to go smoke in secret.
242
00:09:49,786 --> 00:09:53,833
And as I'm shame-smoking, I'm seeing…
243
00:09:54,542 --> 00:09:56,086
The library. The library.
244
00:09:56,170 --> 00:09:59,633
Captain, did you throw away
my sombrero restaurant?
245
00:10:00,677 --> 00:10:04,055
Oh, I might have knocked
it in the bin by accident.
246
00:10:04,139 --> 00:10:06,559
I do remember saying, "Oops."
247
00:10:07,352 --> 00:10:08,395
Fine, I'll come clean.
248
00:10:08,479 --> 00:10:11,774
You're ruining our model
with your frivolous garbage.
249
00:10:11,858 --> 00:10:13,736
We're building this for kids!
250
00:10:15,071 --> 00:10:16,990
You really think they're gonna enjoy
251
00:10:17,074 --> 00:10:19,953
your brown rectangle of
dirt with one little house?
252
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:23,249
Excuse me, this is an accurate
facsimile of a mid-sized switching yard,
253
00:10:23,333 --> 00:10:26,420
and it isn't a "little house," it's a
work shed where the yardmen get
254
00:10:26,504 --> 00:10:29,341
their OSHA-mandated eight
hours of rest between shifts.
255
00:10:29,425 --> 00:10:32,136
So, yeah, I think the
kids are gonna love it.
256
00:10:32,220 --> 00:10:35,391
Okay. We have a witness
coming in at 3:00 with her son.
257
00:10:35,516 --> 00:10:38,687
Let's split this train set in
two, make our own models,
258
00:10:38,771 --> 00:10:40,648
and see which one he likes more.
259
00:10:40,983 --> 00:10:42,067
You're on.
260
00:10:42,151 --> 00:10:43,361
You don't stand a chance.
261
00:10:43,445 --> 00:10:45,279
I'm gonna turn Jeffords Junction
262
00:10:45,363 --> 00:10:47,158
into the funnest town in America.
263
00:10:47,783 --> 00:10:50,287
That's right. I said "funnest."
264
00:10:51,706 --> 00:10:55,294
Stop dancing. Stop dancing.
265
00:10:56,796 --> 00:11:01,094
This is a direct order. Stop dancing.
266
00:11:03,013 --> 00:11:06,518
Of course I know Amy Santiago.
She was here earlier.
267
00:11:06,602 --> 00:11:08,646
She used my phone to call a car service.
268
00:11:08,730 --> 00:11:10,983
But she doesn't have her wallet,
how's she gonna pay for that?
269
00:11:11,067 --> 00:11:12,484
We have a joint account
with Brooklyn Town Cars.
270
00:11:12,568 --> 00:11:14,612
I can call them, and they'll tell
me where they dropped her off.
271
00:11:14,696 --> 00:11:16,448
She got out here.
I don't know where she went.
272
00:11:16,532 --> 00:11:17,866
That's it? You didn't watch her,
273
00:11:17,950 --> 00:11:19,077
you didn't follow her with your eyes?
274
00:11:19,161 --> 00:11:20,245
No. That would be creepy.
275
00:11:20,329 --> 00:11:24,001
Well, next time, do the city a
favor, and creep it up a little, bud!
276
00:11:24,502 --> 00:11:26,212
Now, let's think. Where did she go next?
277
00:11:26,296 --> 00:11:27,755
Let's mix it up. This time, you play Amy.
278
00:11:27,839 --> 00:11:28,966
She's in that building right there.
279
00:11:29,050 --> 00:11:30,134
Aww, you didn't do the voice.
280
00:11:30,218 --> 00:11:31,261
That's the Department of Records,
281
00:11:31,345 --> 00:11:32,929
where her best and
only friend Kylie works.
282
00:11:33,013 --> 00:11:34,474
A-ha! Noice!
283
00:11:34,933 --> 00:11:36,100
She signed in 20 minutes ago.
284
00:11:36,184 --> 00:11:39,147
Yet another great
opportunity for the voice.
285
00:11:39,356 --> 00:11:41,024
Amy's not here. [SIGHS]
286
00:11:41,108 --> 00:11:42,860
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
Don't give up, babe, you'll find me.
287
00:11:42,944 --> 00:11:44,363
Not now, Rosa!
288
00:11:46,115 --> 00:11:48,200
Okay. So, Amy's test is in an hour
289
00:11:48,284 --> 00:11:49,619
and we have no idea where she is.
290
00:11:49,703 --> 00:11:51,789
I'm spiraling.
Somebody say something positive.
291
00:11:51,873 --> 00:11:53,624
I cannot believe you
screwed this up for her.
292
00:11:53,708 --> 00:11:55,961
I was kind of hoping for
something more traditionally positive,
293
00:11:56,045 --> 00:11:57,380
as opposed to overtly negative.
294
00:11:57,464 --> 00:11:59,300
And I was hoping you
wouldn't lose my best friend.
295
00:11:59,384 --> 00:12:01,093
I'm starting to feel like you're
not a real big Jake head.
296
00:12:01,177 --> 00:12:02,637
Oh, no, I like him.
297
00:12:02,721 --> 00:12:04,390
Just not as a boyfriend for Amy.
298
00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:06,267
Or as a trivia teammate.
299
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:08,604
Okay, Kylie, you have
gotta get over the trivia thing.
300
00:12:08,688 --> 00:12:10,065
I tried my hardest.
301
00:12:10,149 --> 00:12:13,819
The phrase you're looking
for is "Winter is coming."
302
00:12:13,903 --> 00:12:17,241
No. What Paul Revere said
was that "The British are coming."
303
00:12:17,325 --> 00:12:19,202
Come on. Yeah, come on.
304
00:12:19,412 --> 00:12:21,831
So, what, Paul Revere
never said, "Winter is coming"?
305
00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:24,209
Not even in late autumn?
I still think I was right.
306
00:12:24,293 --> 00:12:25,419
Can we please get back to Amy?
307
00:12:25,503 --> 00:12:27,547
She signed in downstairs 20
minutes ago, but she didn't come here.
308
00:12:27,631 --> 00:12:28,673
So, where is she?
309
00:12:28,757 --> 00:12:30,176
Well, this is the Department of Records,
310
00:12:30,260 --> 00:12:31,552
so I'm gonna make an educated guess
311
00:12:31,636 --> 00:12:32,846
and say she came here for a record.
312
00:12:32,930 --> 00:12:36,059
Not sure you're qualified to
make an "educated" guess.
313
00:12:36,143 --> 00:12:38,020
Okay, I know where
you're going with this.
314
00:12:38,104 --> 00:12:39,904
The "theory of relativity" question.
315
00:12:40,024 --> 00:12:42,819
He's got crazy hair,
super-smart, Jewy name.
316
00:12:42,903 --> 00:12:44,989
Eisenberg. Jesse Eisenberg.
317
00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:47,493
Sit down.
318
00:12:47,618 --> 00:12:49,077
Look, I know lots of things.
319
00:12:49,161 --> 00:12:50,871
I know the names of every Transformer!
320
00:12:50,955 --> 00:12:53,918
Yeah, even the Dinobots. Grimlock, much?
321
00:12:54,043 --> 00:12:55,128
No. Okay.
322
00:12:55,212 --> 00:12:57,589
I'm not dumb.
I just can't handle the trivia pressure.
323
00:12:57,673 --> 00:12:59,007
Anyway, can you please just look up
324
00:12:59,091 --> 00:13:00,760
every file that's been logged
out in the past 20 minutes.
325
00:13:00,844 --> 00:13:02,596
Fine, but I'm doing
it for her, not for you.
326
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:06,143
Fine. Trivia. Like that's even real.
327
00:13:06,227 --> 00:13:08,396
Yeah, there's a 99th Precinct case file
328
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,108
from January 2014,
that was just accessed.
329
00:13:11,192 --> 00:13:13,111
Okay, I definitely know where she is.
330
00:13:13,195 --> 00:13:16,490
Like you definitely knew the
Serengeti was a type of pasta?
331
00:13:16,574 --> 00:13:18,244
Let it go, Kylie!
332
00:13:18,494 --> 00:13:21,873
Mount Terry's looking good.
Just add a little snow.
333
00:13:21,957 --> 00:13:24,126
And, perfect.
334
00:13:24,210 --> 00:13:27,422
Ah, yes. Now, that's what I call
the right amount of arid shrubbery.
335
00:13:27,506 --> 00:13:28,883
JEFFORDS: Great job, Captain.
336
00:13:28,967 --> 00:13:30,427
That's just what the kid's gonna want.
337
00:13:30,511 --> 00:13:32,638
To play in a serial
killer's dumping ground.
338
00:13:32,722 --> 00:13:36,643
-All aboard the Jeffords Victory Express!
-[TRAIN WHISTLING]
339
00:13:36,727 --> 00:13:38,229
Oh, I'm sure the child
will love that you put
340
00:13:38,313 --> 00:13:41,150
a steam locomotive
whistle on a diesel train.
341
00:13:41,234 --> 00:13:43,584
I'm joking.
He's gonna vomit when he hears that.
342
00:13:44,071 --> 00:13:45,781
-The kid's here.
-JEFFORDS: Show him in.
343
00:13:45,865 --> 00:13:46,908
This is Dylan.
344
00:13:47,033 --> 00:13:48,660
Hello, Dylan. I'm Captain Holt.
345
00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:50,246
We have some trains here to play with.
346
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,665
Uh, like this one that
carries coal and rivets,
347
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:54,335
the two main exports of our town.
348
00:13:54,419 --> 00:13:56,379
Would you like to transport
some coal or rivets?
349
00:13:56,463 --> 00:14:00,511
Or would you like to come
over here to Jeffords Junction,
350
00:14:00,595 --> 00:14:03,765
where it's always all four
seasons and a volcano!
351
00:14:03,849 --> 00:14:04,891
[EXCLAIMING]
352
00:14:05,350 --> 00:14:07,144
Do you guys have any video games?
353
00:14:07,228 --> 00:14:09,439
Okay, I see what's happening here.
354
00:14:09,523 --> 00:14:12,235
You're afraid that you're gonna
make Sergeant Jeffords feel bad.
355
00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:13,988
Don't worry, he's a subordinate.
356
00:14:14,196 --> 00:14:17,367
No. Just, trains are kind of
lame, and nobody plays with them.
357
00:14:17,451 --> 00:14:20,664
Okay, but surely, one of these trains
358
00:14:20,748 --> 00:14:23,125
is less lame than the other, right?
359
00:14:23,209 --> 00:14:25,587
No. They look exactly the same to me.
360
00:14:27,882 --> 00:14:28,967
Get out.
361
00:14:29,134 --> 00:14:32,346
Gina! I just got an email
from the council of cousins.
362
00:14:32,430 --> 00:14:34,474
Tina Boyle is contesting the will. So?
363
00:14:34,558 --> 00:14:37,144
So, he's coming here right
now with an officer of the court.
364
00:14:37,228 --> 00:14:39,481
The mother dough is to be
placed in protective custody
365
00:14:39,565 --> 00:14:40,691
until the matter is resolved.
366
00:14:40,775 --> 00:14:42,860
Yeah, it's resolved. I cooked it.
367
00:14:42,944 --> 00:14:45,281
Don't you understand what
will happen if they find out?
368
00:14:45,365 --> 00:14:48,452
Gina, they will banish you from
the family. No more Boyle activities.
369
00:14:48,536 --> 00:14:51,686
No Christmas cards. No Thanksgiving cards.
No Valentine's cards.
370
00:14:51,999 --> 00:14:53,918
That's right, imagine a Valentine's Day
371
00:14:54,002 --> 00:14:55,336
with no cards from your cousins.
372
00:14:55,420 --> 00:14:57,923
Oh, my God. This is a dream come true!
373
00:14:58,007 --> 00:15:00,010
You think I can get out of
all the family vacations, too?
374
00:15:00,094 --> 00:15:01,804
Because, let's be honest, Charles,
375
00:15:01,888 --> 00:15:04,392
Aruba was the worst
thing that's ever happened.
376
00:15:04,809 --> 00:15:07,145
How do all 18 of you have sleep apnea?
377
00:15:07,312 --> 00:15:09,023
[MACHINES WHIRRING]
378
00:15:10,566 --> 00:15:11,943
Listen, we have to do something!
379
00:15:12,027 --> 00:15:14,405
Maybe if we put the dough
in the box, they won't check.
380
00:15:14,489 --> 00:15:15,615
Won't check what?
381
00:15:15,699 --> 00:15:17,409
Christina!
382
00:15:17,493 --> 00:15:20,288
How are you? That's a great jacket.
Where'd you get it?
383
00:15:20,372 --> 00:15:21,957
You know I got it at Mervyn's.
384
00:15:22,041 --> 00:15:23,459
Where's my mother dough?
385
00:15:23,584 --> 00:15:24,961
Yeah, about that. Um…
386
00:15:25,045 --> 00:15:27,256
It's an interesting story what
happened with that thing, because…
387
00:15:27,340 --> 00:15:28,633
Yeah, it is interesting.
388
00:15:28,717 --> 00:15:30,677
I killed her. I killed her dead.
No. No, she didn't.
389
00:15:30,761 --> 00:15:32,305
I put her by a space heater… No.
390
00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:34,558
Till she was burnt up to
a black lump of coal. Shh.
391
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,603
Oh, my God. Yeah, that's right. She gone.
392
00:15:36,687 --> 00:15:38,647
First of all, Gina, I love you.
393
00:15:38,731 --> 00:15:40,691
Secondly, you're
banished from the family.
394
00:15:40,775 --> 00:15:42,152
-[BOYLE GASPING]
-Oh, no!
395
00:15:42,236 --> 00:15:45,531
May I still please be on the
Boyle daily email blast? Please?
396
00:15:45,615 --> 00:15:48,452
I'm afraid not.
You'll just get the weekly blasts,
397
00:15:48,536 --> 00:15:49,663
like the rest of our acquaintances.
398
00:15:49,747 --> 00:15:51,039
It was an accident, she didn't mean it.
399
00:15:51,123 --> 00:15:52,208
I'm sorry it had to end this way.
400
00:15:52,292 --> 00:15:53,376
Charles, I love you.
401
00:15:53,460 --> 00:15:54,503
I love you, too.
402
00:15:54,628 --> 00:15:57,006
But you brought Gina into this
family and you're also banished.
403
00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:58,175
What? What?
404
00:15:59,260 --> 00:16:01,303
[SIGHS] There you are, thank God.
405
00:16:01,387 --> 00:16:02,847
Hey. How'd you find me?
406
00:16:02,931 --> 00:16:05,393
"January 14, 2014.
407
00:16:05,477 --> 00:16:07,062
"Detectives Peralta and Santiago
408
00:16:07,146 --> 00:16:10,441
"conducted surveillance from
a rooftop at 397 Barton Street."
409
00:16:10,525 --> 00:16:13,070
This is where we came
the night I won our bet
410
00:16:13,154 --> 00:16:14,604
and you fell in love with me.
411
00:16:14,698 --> 00:16:15,740
Jake…
412
00:16:15,824 --> 00:16:17,201
The night that you flirted
with me for 20 seconds
413
00:16:17,285 --> 00:16:18,828
and I became obsessed with you forever.
414
00:16:18,912 --> 00:16:20,080
Ready?
415
00:16:22,083 --> 00:16:23,168
[BOTH LAUGHING]
416
00:16:24,879 --> 00:16:26,714
I'm sorry I freaked out and ran away.
417
00:16:26,798 --> 00:16:28,007
It's okay.
418
00:16:28,091 --> 00:16:29,510
Just because you
messed up the practice test
419
00:16:29,594 --> 00:16:30,886
doesn't mean you're
gonna fail the real one.
420
00:16:30,970 --> 00:16:33,474
I didn't mess it up. I got 102%.
421
00:16:33,641 --> 00:16:35,059
I found a spelling error in one question
422
00:16:35,143 --> 00:16:36,693
and I gave myself extra credit.
423
00:16:37,647 --> 00:16:38,731
Then why'd you leave?
424
00:16:38,815 --> 00:16:41,484
Because that was the
first time it really hit me…
425
00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:45,657
When I pass the exam,
I'll actually be a sergeant.
426
00:16:45,741 --> 00:16:47,641
What if everything changes between us?
427
00:16:48,286 --> 00:16:49,788
That's why you came here?
428
00:16:49,872 --> 00:16:52,542
Yeah. Things are so good right now.
429
00:16:52,626 --> 00:16:56,797
I don't wanna screw that up by getting
transferred or becoming your boss.
430
00:16:56,881 --> 00:17:00,094
Ames, I've always known
you were gonna be my boss.
431
00:17:00,178 --> 00:17:02,431
I mean, this is your dream
from before we were dating.
432
00:17:02,515 --> 00:17:05,310
And, yeah, things might change
a little, but for the better, right?
433
00:17:05,394 --> 00:17:07,061
We can finally get premium cable,
434
00:17:07,145 --> 00:17:08,689
check out all those shows on EPIX.
435
00:17:08,773 --> 00:17:10,275
[CHUCKLING]
436
00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:13,822
Look, you can't be afraid to be
successful. You're too good for that.
437
00:17:14,364 --> 00:17:16,242
I love you. I love you, too.
438
00:17:18,161 --> 00:17:19,204
Wait. The test!
439
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:20,956
We gotta get you outta here! Right!
440
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,166
I'm gonna be a sergeant!
441
00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:23,878
You're gonna be a sergeant!
442
00:17:26,506 --> 00:17:29,927
You don't have a key for
this random roof door, do you?
443
00:17:31,972 --> 00:17:33,600
Come on. Come on.
444
00:17:34,017 --> 00:17:35,059
Oh, no!
445
00:17:35,143 --> 00:17:37,772
I broke the hotel key I forgot was
in my wallet for the last five years.
446
00:17:37,856 --> 00:17:39,398
Where's Rosa? We can't wait for her.
447
00:17:39,482 --> 00:17:40,985
The exam's in 20 minutes.
448
00:17:41,110 --> 00:17:42,569
It's my fault we're up here.
449
00:17:42,653 --> 00:17:45,950
I just won't take the test.
I'll wait three years for the next one.
450
00:17:46,034 --> 00:17:47,327
Oh, no, you won't.
451
00:17:47,869 --> 00:17:51,123
No, Jake, you are not
Die-Hard-ing off this roof.
452
00:17:51,207 --> 00:17:53,001
I am definitely
Die-Hard-ing off this roof.
453
00:17:53,085 --> 00:17:54,878
For you and only for
you, and also for me,
454
00:17:54,962 --> 00:17:56,712
'cause I've always wanted to do it.
455
00:17:57,799 --> 00:18:00,386
Jake, come on. Get down from there.
It's too dangerous.
456
00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:02,306
It's perfectly safe.
457
00:18:02,681 --> 00:18:04,517
See you in hell, kiddo. What?
458
00:18:05,435 --> 00:18:06,635
PERALTA: Yippie kiyay…
459
00:18:06,938 --> 00:18:08,106
Bars, bars, bars!
460
00:18:08,398 --> 00:18:10,525
Oh, are there bars on the window?
461
00:18:10,609 --> 00:18:13,155
Yeah, there are bars on the window.
462
00:18:13,530 --> 00:18:16,784
I just set up a video game system.
The kid's much happier.
463
00:18:16,868 --> 00:18:18,954
Turns out children don't
care about model trains.
464
00:18:19,038 --> 00:18:21,792
Not only children, I'm
beginning to think nobody does.
465
00:18:22,125 --> 00:18:23,544
Kevin, you are not gonna believe this.
466
00:18:23,628 --> 00:18:27,215
Terry put Lo-"V" "IRT" Pullman
rolling stock on a ballastless track.
467
00:18:27,299 --> 00:18:29,427
I was dying, Kevin! Dying.
468
00:18:29,511 --> 00:18:30,761
Yes, you can hang up now.
469
00:18:30,846 --> 00:18:34,475
I guess we're condemned
to a life of solo-railroading.
470
00:18:34,559 --> 00:18:35,727
We don't have to be.
471
00:18:36,270 --> 00:18:37,897
I know we've had our differences,
472
00:18:37,981 --> 00:18:41,527
but through some crazy twist
of fate, we found each other.
473
00:18:41,611 --> 00:18:43,112
Shouldn't we just be excited
474
00:18:43,196 --> 00:18:45,408
that we have someone to share that with?
475
00:18:49,330 --> 00:18:50,831
Not interested. Good day.
476
00:18:50,915 --> 00:18:52,500
Okay.
477
00:18:52,584 --> 00:18:53,669
Well, I just wanted to show you
478
00:18:53,753 --> 00:18:55,880
I got a tiny little train inspector,
479
00:18:55,964 --> 00:18:59,511
just to make sure the
tracks were up to code.
480
00:19:00,262 --> 00:19:01,347
I'll be going.
481
00:19:03,182 --> 00:19:04,268
Wait.
482
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:08,928
You left your figurine behind
for some reason. Take it.
483
00:19:12,112 --> 00:19:13,280
Wait.
484
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,368
Come on, Sergeant, take
the train through the pass!
485
00:19:16,452 --> 00:19:20,790
All aboard the Terryliner.
Next stop, Holtsylvania.
486
00:19:22,126 --> 00:19:25,672
Where are you guys?
What the hell is taking you so long?
487
00:19:27,216 --> 00:19:28,759
Did Jake Die Hard off the roof? Yeah.
488
00:19:28,843 --> 00:19:29,928
But the windows have bars.
489
00:19:30,012 --> 00:19:32,390
PERALTA: Yeah, we all
know about the bars, Rosa!
490
00:19:32,474 --> 00:19:34,267
All right, you get to the
exam, I'll take care of Jake.
491
00:19:34,351 --> 00:19:35,560
Yeah, don't worry about me.
492
00:19:35,644 --> 00:19:37,689
The important thing is
you go become a sergeant.
493
00:19:37,773 --> 00:19:38,815
Leave me.
494
00:19:38,940 --> 00:19:41,443
I know it's gonna be hard to walk
away, but you have to be strong.
495
00:19:41,527 --> 00:19:43,613
She left, like, two minutes ago.
You're talking to nobody.
496
00:19:43,697 --> 00:19:45,032
Yeah, that makes sense.
497
00:19:45,116 --> 00:19:46,952
This is when the
Boyles went to that farm,
498
00:19:47,036 --> 00:19:49,289
and we all got hoof and mouth disease.
499
00:19:49,539 --> 00:19:51,624
Ah! When we went to that water park,
500
00:19:51,708 --> 00:19:53,585
and we all got hoof and
mouth disease again.
501
00:19:53,669 --> 00:19:55,296
That was a good vacation.
502
00:19:55,380 --> 00:19:56,799
Sam? Tina?
503
00:19:56,883 --> 00:19:58,592
What are you doing here? Gina called us.
504
00:19:58,676 --> 00:19:59,761
What? Why?
505
00:19:59,845 --> 00:20:02,598
Because I wanted to show you this.
It's a new mother dough.
506
00:20:02,682 --> 00:20:06,896
Now, I know it's not 140
years old, but I will feed it,
507
00:20:06,980 --> 00:20:09,107
and I will nurture it, and it will grow,
508
00:20:09,191 --> 00:20:14,448
and eventually, it'll be just as
sour and smelly as the old one.
509
00:20:14,533 --> 00:20:16,659
What about the tang?
It will be Tang Town.
510
00:20:16,743 --> 00:20:17,786
Tang Town.
511
00:20:17,870 --> 00:20:20,206
Now, can you just let Charles
back into the family, please?
512
00:20:20,290 --> 00:20:21,791
How will we get to this new mother dough?
513
00:20:21,875 --> 00:20:23,794
You can all come by my apartment
514
00:20:23,878 --> 00:20:25,630
and take a little piece
whenever you want.
515
00:20:25,714 --> 00:20:27,341
We'll need keys. Why?
516
00:20:27,425 --> 00:20:29,135
In case you're not home. Or in the bath.
517
00:20:29,219 --> 00:20:30,804
Gina, it's okay.
You don't have to do this.
518
00:20:30,888 --> 00:20:33,141
Yes, I do. Because you're my brother.
519
00:20:33,225 --> 00:20:34,268
[SIGHS]
520
00:20:34,769 --> 00:20:36,937
Isn't she great?
We used to have sex, you know.
521
00:20:37,021 --> 00:20:38,065
Cool. Cool.
522
00:20:38,149 --> 00:20:40,819
You don't have to mention
that every time, you idiot.
523
00:20:41,903 --> 00:20:44,156
Hey.
524
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:46,785
That looks like the strut of a
lady who just crushed an exam.
525
00:20:46,869 --> 00:20:49,455
I sure did.
And finished 45 minutes early.
526
00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:51,083
Nice.
Did everyone else give you dirty looks?
527
00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:54,253
So dirty. How long were
you hanging off the roof for?
528
00:20:54,337 --> 00:20:56,965
Long enough for me
to take a bunch of pics.
529
00:20:57,049 --> 00:20:59,011
Ha. Very funny. No soc.
530
00:20:59,261 --> 00:21:01,305
Listen, I just wanna thank you guys
531
00:21:01,389 --> 00:21:03,391
for chasing me down and getting me here.
532
00:21:03,475 --> 00:21:05,353
I know it's been a rough day, Jake,
533
00:21:05,437 --> 00:21:07,230
but I think I know how
to make it up to you.
534
00:21:07,314 --> 00:21:08,357
Three minutes?
535
00:21:08,441 --> 00:21:10,151
Oh, no, not that. Even better.
536
00:21:10,235 --> 00:21:12,445
Okay. Welcome to trivia night.
537
00:21:12,529 --> 00:21:14,198
You said you would never bring him again.
538
00:21:14,282 --> 00:21:16,409
Don't worry.
It's gonna be fine, I promise.
539
00:21:16,493 --> 00:21:17,787
Is it? Tonight's first category,
540
00:21:17,871 --> 00:21:20,791
by special request, the
Transformers movies.
541
00:21:20,875 --> 00:21:22,000
Yes!
542
00:21:22,084 --> 00:21:26,049
Question one. What is the name
of the evil race of Transformers?
543
00:21:26,466 --> 00:21:28,885
"Robot." "Bad robot." No, God.
544
00:21:28,969 --> 00:21:30,388
I don't know. Damn it, Jake!
545
00:21:30,472 --> 00:21:32,431
I'm sorry. I can't take the trivia presh.
546
00:21:32,515 --> 00:21:35,165
Why couldn't you have just
given me the three minutes!