1
00:00:02,142 --> 00:00:04,592
Attention.
I've been asked to read this statement.
2
00:00:04,811 --> 00:00:07,397
"Two months ago, Gina
Linetti was hit by a bus,
3
00:00:07,481 --> 00:00:10,733
"and the brightest star in
the cosmos was extinguished.
4
00:00:10,817 --> 00:00:15,697
"But today, like a phoenix from
the ashes, she rises to vanquish…"
5
00:00:16,991 --> 00:00:19,118
This is 10 pages. I can't read it.
6
00:00:19,202 --> 00:00:20,411
Gina's doctor said it was okay
7
00:00:20,495 --> 00:00:22,845
for her to come back to work today.
Here she is.
8
00:00:25,249 --> 00:00:26,292
GINA: Thank you.
9
00:00:26,376 --> 00:00:30,379
As much pain as I've been in, I can't
imagine what it's been like for you.
10
00:00:30,463 --> 00:00:34,008
Living in a Gina-less
world for two months.
11
00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:36,344
I'll field some questions now. Anyone?
12
00:00:36,719 --> 00:00:41,265
Uh, how long do you have to
wear the metal… The head holder…
13
00:00:41,391 --> 00:00:44,810
It's called a "halo." The doctor said
I have to wear it for another week.
14
00:00:44,894 --> 00:00:46,604
It's drilled into my skull here.
15
00:00:46,688 --> 00:00:50,191
And, yes, I can still hear the
screws squeaking into the bone.
16
00:00:50,275 --> 00:00:51,735
So, what was it like
getting hit by a bus?
17
00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:53,903
It was awesome. Ah! I knew it.
18
00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:55,655
I always wanted to get hit by a bus.
19
00:00:55,739 --> 00:00:58,575
Yeah, I mean, I was legally
dead for two full minutes.
20
00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:00,327
-And I met God.
-DIAZ: Tight.
21
00:01:00,411 --> 00:01:02,579
What does she look like?
Ethnically ambiguous.
22
00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:05,624
You took two weeks off when
Kourtney and Scott Disick broke up.
23
00:01:05,708 --> 00:01:07,375
Are you sure you're ready
to be back at work now?
24
00:01:07,459 --> 00:01:11,338
What are you saying, Terry? You think I
can't handle being back yet? [LAUGHING]
25
00:01:11,422 --> 00:01:12,464
Watch this.
26
00:01:13,632 --> 00:01:14,883
[MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO]
27
00:01:15,968 --> 00:01:18,011
-[GROANING LOUDLY]
-[BRACE SQUEAKING]
28
00:01:25,770 --> 00:01:27,313
Gina Linetti is back, baby!
29
00:01:27,397 --> 00:01:29,441
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
30
00:01:47,459 --> 00:01:50,128
Sorry I'm late.
I was on a call with One Police Plaza.
31
00:01:50,212 --> 00:01:53,131
Apparently, crime in
Brooklyn is down significantly.
32
00:01:53,215 --> 00:01:54,257
[ALL CHEERING]
33
00:01:54,341 --> 00:01:56,718
Which means they'll be
permanently closing one precinct.
34
00:01:56,802 --> 00:01:57,886
-SANTIAGO: What?
-[ALL GROAN]
35
00:01:57,970 --> 00:01:59,012
We celebrated too soon.
36
00:01:59,096 --> 00:02:00,681
An auditor will arrive shortly.
37
00:02:00,765 --> 00:02:03,266
He'll evaluate us on crime stats,
38
00:02:03,350 --> 00:02:05,310
physical plan, fiscal responsibility.
39
00:02:05,394 --> 00:02:07,354
There are 22 other precincts in Brooklyn,
40
00:02:07,438 --> 00:02:09,314
so we just don't want
to rate at the bottom.
41
00:02:09,398 --> 00:02:10,607
Are they gonna be looking in our desks?
42
00:02:10,691 --> 00:02:13,402
Also, unrelated, someone left
a bunch of swords in my desk.
43
00:02:13,486 --> 00:02:15,362
I have a similar question
about browser histories.
44
00:02:15,446 --> 00:02:16,988
Just throw your computer away.
Roger that.
45
00:02:17,072 --> 00:02:19,825
The auditor will start by
joining Peralta and Santiago
46
00:02:19,909 --> 00:02:21,159
on their gang stakeout because…
47
00:02:21,243 --> 00:02:22,996
They're America's dream couple.
48
00:02:23,121 --> 00:02:24,997
You need to calm down.
We're in a workplace.
49
00:02:25,081 --> 00:02:26,708
Because their case is a good example
50
00:02:26,792 --> 00:02:29,127
of the type of serious
crime that still exists
51
00:02:29,211 --> 00:02:31,505
in our neighborhood. So… Oh!
52
00:02:31,755 --> 00:02:33,631
Looks like the auditor is here.
53
00:02:33,715 --> 00:02:36,008
Isn't that Teddy, Amy's ex-boyfriend?
Yep.
54
00:02:36,092 --> 00:02:37,552
Jake, didn't you break them up? Yep.
55
00:02:37,636 --> 00:02:38,761
Amy, didn't you tell him to his face
56
00:02:38,845 --> 00:02:40,304
-he was the most boring man alive?
-SANTIAGO: Yep.
57
00:02:40,388 --> 00:02:41,556
-This is gonna be awkward.
-BOTH: Yep.
58
00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:42,682
We had a good run.
59
00:02:42,766 --> 00:02:43,850
Let's not panic just yet.
60
00:02:43,934 --> 00:02:45,601
Maybe he doesn't
remember us ruining his life
61
00:02:45,685 --> 00:02:47,270
and stomping all over his heart.
62
00:02:47,354 --> 00:02:49,439
Hey, everyone. I'm Sergeant Wells.
63
00:02:49,606 --> 00:02:51,274
Jake, Amy, nice to see you.
64
00:02:51,441 --> 00:02:53,944
Teddy, nice to see you, too.
Excited to have you in the field with us.
65
00:02:54,028 --> 00:02:56,989
Good.
I just hope I don't bore you to death.
66
00:02:57,114 --> 00:02:59,825
Oh, what? [CHUCKLING AWKWARDLY] Yeah.
What's that?
67
00:02:59,909 --> 00:03:02,119
The crime phone is ringing?
We have to answer it. Come on, Amy.
68
00:03:02,203 --> 00:03:03,245
BRB. Okay.
69
00:03:03,329 --> 00:03:04,580
Why'd you have to say he was boring?
70
00:03:04,664 --> 00:03:05,831
Because he is boring.
71
00:03:05,915 --> 00:03:07,875
His favorite app on
his phone is "Contacts."
72
00:03:07,959 --> 00:03:09,084
He's gonna shut this place down,
73
00:03:09,168 --> 00:03:10,878
and we're gonna get shipped
off to separate precincts.
74
00:03:10,962 --> 00:03:12,504
I don't think our
relationship can survive that.
75
00:03:12,588 --> 00:03:15,507
I mean, even if we don't work
together, we can still be a couple.
76
00:03:15,591 --> 00:03:18,635
If I don't see you every day, I'll
forget who you are. I'm like a goldfish.
77
00:03:18,719 --> 00:03:20,429
Standing in the briefing room,
78
00:03:20,513 --> 00:03:23,515
a space that is approximately
50 feet by 40 feet.
79
00:03:23,599 --> 00:03:26,478
Actually, you know what?
Fifty-five feet by forty feet.
80
00:03:26,562 --> 00:03:29,981
No, 52 feet by 41 feet.
81
00:03:30,065 --> 00:03:32,233
I'll just look at the blueprints
at the city planner's office.
82
00:03:32,317 --> 00:03:33,735
Hello, weekend plans.
83
00:03:33,819 --> 00:03:36,279
Sergeant Wells, have you
been to other precincts yet?
84
00:03:36,363 --> 00:03:38,406
How'd they do?
You know, everyone's got their issues.
85
00:03:38,490 --> 00:03:42,327
That's too bad. I want all my
brothers in the NYPD to do perfectly.
86
00:03:42,619 --> 00:03:44,329
The Seven-Four is corrupt.
You didn't hear it from me.
87
00:03:44,413 --> 00:03:46,247
You know what?
We're just looking to eliminate waste.
88
00:03:46,331 --> 00:03:48,458
I assure you, you'll
find zero waste here.
89
00:03:48,542 --> 00:03:52,378
Really? Because I did notice
during my preliminary examination
90
00:03:52,462 --> 00:03:55,132
that you recently purchased
a $21,000 copy machine?
91
00:03:56,301 --> 00:03:58,928
Well, that machine saves
money in terms of man-hours.
92
00:03:59,679 --> 00:04:02,348
Uh, if you excuse me, uh, Sergeant
Wells, we need to go to the BRB.
93
00:04:02,432 --> 00:04:03,850
It's BRB time. We're BRBing.
94
00:04:04,601 --> 00:04:06,101
Make space. You make space!
95
00:04:06,185 --> 00:04:07,686
This closet is for people
who are freaking out.
96
00:04:07,770 --> 00:04:08,938
Oh, I'm fully freaking out.
97
00:04:09,022 --> 00:04:11,941
I just experimented with an
unfamiliar acronym in public.
98
00:04:12,025 --> 00:04:14,109
BRB, what does it even mean?
"Be right back."
99
00:04:14,193 --> 00:04:16,821
It has the same number of syllables
as the acronym. What's the point?
100
00:04:16,905 --> 00:04:19,740
Teddy knows about the fancy
Japanese copier that C.J. bought.
101
00:04:19,824 --> 00:04:21,492
The one that broke
the first time we used it.
102
00:04:21,576 --> 00:04:22,619
[BEEPS]
103
00:04:22,827 --> 00:04:24,927
[ELECTRONIC FEMALE
VOICE SPEAKING JAPANESE]
104
00:04:25,496 --> 00:04:26,747
-[POWERS DOWN]
-[ELECTRONIC VOICE GIGGLES]
105
00:04:26,831 --> 00:04:28,124
Is it supposed to do that?
106
00:04:28,208 --> 00:04:30,169
It was not supposed to do that.
107
00:04:31,128 --> 00:04:33,588
Is this where people are freaking out?
Because we are freaking out.
108
00:04:33,672 --> 00:04:35,465
Teddy dinged the
One-Five for having roaches.
109
00:04:35,549 --> 00:04:37,384
So what? We don't have roaches.
Our rats ate all of them.
110
00:04:37,468 --> 00:04:38,635
That's the problem. We have rats.
111
00:04:38,719 --> 00:04:39,719
Right, right, right. That's worse.
112
00:04:39,803 --> 00:04:42,389
Oh, God, they're gonna shut this
precinct down and separate me and Jake.
113
00:04:42,473 --> 00:04:43,765
Our friendship is over.
114
00:04:43,849 --> 00:04:45,141
If he doesn't see my face every day,
115
00:04:45,225 --> 00:04:46,810
he'll forget who I am.
He's like a goldfish.
116
00:04:46,894 --> 00:04:48,687
[EXCLAIMS] This is all your fault.
117
00:04:48,854 --> 00:04:50,272
You just had to sleep
with Teddy, didn't you?
118
00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:51,773
You couldn't keep it in your pants.
119
00:04:51,857 --> 00:04:53,608
-Come on, Charles.
-HOLT: He's right, Santiago.
120
00:04:53,692 --> 00:04:56,028
-Your libido has endangered us all.
-[DOOR OPENS]
121
00:04:56,236 --> 00:04:57,279
Excuse me, guys, coming in.
122
00:04:57,363 --> 00:04:58,948
Wait. Gina, you sure you can fit in?
123
00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:02,076
I'm sorry. Because of my
injury, I can no longer fit in?
124
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:04,036
No, I meant physically.
I'll have you know,
125
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:07,290
I am physically as strong as
I've ever been. Stronger even.
126
00:05:07,457 --> 00:05:10,877
I'm Gina Linetti, and I
can do anything, okay?
127
00:05:11,336 --> 00:05:13,380
Excuse me, please. Excuse me.
128
00:05:13,505 --> 00:05:14,630
JEFFORDS: Come on.
129
00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:16,382
Oh, yeah, this is too crowded.
130
00:05:16,466 --> 00:05:18,384
Shouldn't have wasted
my speech on this moment.
131
00:05:18,468 --> 00:05:19,518
To the evidence room.
132
00:05:19,636 --> 00:05:21,721
You two need to figure out how
to patch things up with Teddy.
133
00:05:21,805 --> 00:05:23,347
He's still upset that
I called him boring.
134
00:05:23,431 --> 00:05:25,266
We just have to pretend
that he's interesting.
135
00:05:25,350 --> 00:05:26,767
I got pretty good at it
while we were dating.
136
00:05:26,851 --> 00:05:30,022
We just have to smile and nod
and agree with whatever he said last.
137
00:05:30,106 --> 00:05:31,565
Great. Hey, wait a minute.
138
00:05:31,649 --> 00:05:34,484
I'm still not sure who the second best
Die Hard villain is, though, you know?
139
00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:35,611
Probably Jeremy Irons.
140
00:05:35,695 --> 00:05:38,280
But maybe it's Timothy Olyphant,
or it could be William Atherton.
141
00:05:38,364 --> 00:05:39,914
Definitely the last one. Right?
142
00:05:40,199 --> 00:05:41,617
No, I really think it's William Atherton.
143
00:05:41,701 --> 00:05:42,910
Okay.
144
00:05:43,035 --> 00:05:45,579
We have to engage him
on topics that he cares about.
145
00:05:45,663 --> 00:05:48,957
Pilsners! He loves talking about pilsners.
Oh, my God.
146
00:05:49,041 --> 00:05:51,501
Just saying the word gives me PTSD.
Pilsner TSD.
147
00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:52,628
Good one. Thanks.
148
00:05:52,712 --> 00:05:53,921
Pull yourself together and go out there
149
00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:56,506
and make Teddy feel like he's
the most interesting man on Earth.
150
00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:58,717
I want him to think he's Andy
Borowitz when this is all done.
151
00:05:58,801 --> 00:05:59,843
On it.
152
00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:01,345
We'll go there and make him feel like
153
00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:03,079
whoever that person is. Let's go.
154
00:06:03,849 --> 00:06:06,851
Okay, now, what we need
to do is fix that infernal copier.
155
00:06:06,935 --> 00:06:08,269
Jeffords, you did a year abroad in Tokyo.
156
00:06:08,353 --> 00:06:10,313
Maybe you can figure out the manual.
It's in Japanese.
157
00:06:10,397 --> 00:06:13,399
I can try, but the only thing I
really remember how to say is,
158
00:06:13,483 --> 00:06:15,568
"Do you have a bigger
door I can enter through?"
159
00:06:15,652 --> 00:06:16,903
Bring me solutions, not problems.
160
00:06:16,987 --> 00:06:18,196
Now, what do we do about the rats?
161
00:06:18,280 --> 00:06:22,033
Well, lucky for us, I have recently
come into a lot of wolf urine.
162
00:06:22,117 --> 00:06:23,159
That's lucky for us how?
163
00:06:23,243 --> 00:06:25,703
It creates a scent impression
that there are predators nearby.
164
00:06:25,787 --> 00:06:27,830
I've been dousing Nikolaj's shoes with it
165
00:06:27,914 --> 00:06:29,290
to scare off bullies at his preschool.
166
00:06:29,374 --> 00:06:31,376
Did it work?
No, now, they call him "Pee-boy."
167
00:06:31,460 --> 00:06:32,836
He's much worse off.
168
00:06:32,962 --> 00:06:35,798
But wolf urine
definitely scares off rats.
169
00:06:35,882 --> 00:06:37,932
We can use it to herd them towards traps.
170
00:06:38,134 --> 00:06:39,635
What about me? Like, what should I do?
171
00:06:39,719 --> 00:06:42,304
I just thought maybe you could
take it easy. It's your first day and…
172
00:06:42,388 --> 00:06:46,016
I'll have you know, I am as strong
physically as I have ever been.
173
00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:47,810
Stronger even. You already did this.
174
00:06:47,894 --> 00:06:51,230
Yeah, I have short-term amnesia.
I got hit by a bus.
175
00:06:51,314 --> 00:06:53,857
But don't worry. I am as strong
physically as I have ever been.
176
00:06:53,941 --> 00:06:54,984
Stronger even.
177
00:06:55,068 --> 00:06:56,968
Fine. You can help me with the copier.
178
00:06:58,279 --> 00:06:59,322
[CAMERA CLICKS]
179
00:06:59,697 --> 00:07:03,117
Detectives have chosen an
adequate location for their stakeout.
180
00:07:03,201 --> 00:07:04,744
Teddy, how's it going, my man?
181
00:07:04,828 --> 00:07:06,621
Nice to see you. I'm glad we
get to spend this time together.
182
00:07:06,705 --> 00:07:08,373
I haven't seen you since…
You broke me and Amy up.
183
00:07:08,457 --> 00:07:09,458
Maybe. Probably not.
184
00:07:09,583 --> 00:07:11,543
-Who can say when people last saw people?
-[BOTH CHUCKLE NERVOUSLY]
185
00:07:11,627 --> 00:07:14,921
Anyway, that's the HQ
for the 8th Street Killas.
186
00:07:15,005 --> 00:07:17,424
We think they're meeting up
with leaders of another gang
187
00:07:17,508 --> 00:07:19,175
to possibly merge organizations.
188
00:07:19,259 --> 00:07:22,220
Detectives demonstrate a passable
knowledge of their operation.
189
00:07:22,304 --> 00:07:25,932
Cool. So, hey, we might be here for
a while. Can I offer you a beverage?
190
00:07:26,016 --> 00:07:27,058
I'm good. Ooh.
191
00:07:27,142 --> 00:07:29,477
Diet ginger ale.
That is my favorite. Yeah.
192
00:07:29,561 --> 00:07:31,271
Actually, I shouldn't.
It'll make me all hyper.
193
00:07:31,355 --> 00:07:33,606
Suit yourself.
Too bad we're on the job, right?
194
00:07:33,690 --> 00:07:35,400
Could've stocked
that thing with pilsners.
195
00:07:35,484 --> 00:07:38,571
You like pilsners?
Are you kidding me? I kills for the pils.
196
00:07:38,780 --> 00:07:40,198
I'm a total pils-nerd.
197
00:07:40,365 --> 00:07:41,491
[LAUGHING]
198
00:07:41,699 --> 00:07:43,076
[BOTH LAUGHING]
199
00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,621
What's your, uh, poison,
German or Bohemian?
200
00:07:47,705 --> 00:07:49,540
The last one that you said. Good choice.
201
00:07:49,624 --> 00:07:51,834
The last one always is. Wow, this is fun.
202
00:07:51,918 --> 00:07:54,796
I could talk with you
about pilsners all day.
203
00:07:54,963 --> 00:07:57,513
Oh, let's do it.
Of the Bohemians, what's your fave?
204
00:07:58,049 --> 00:08:00,301
Scharfen grelderbrau.
205
00:08:00,510 --> 00:08:01,802
It's new. Millennials love it.
206
00:08:01,886 --> 00:08:03,262
Cool. Let me make note of that.
207
00:08:03,346 --> 00:08:04,154
[RECORDER CHIMES]
208
00:08:04,238 --> 00:08:06,746
Just caught detectives
S and P in a bald-faced lie.
209
00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:08,810
You don't like pilsners.
You hate pilsners.
210
00:08:08,894 --> 00:08:10,854
You think they're boring,
and you still think I'm boring.
211
00:08:10,938 --> 00:08:12,523
No! No lie.
212
00:08:12,731 --> 00:08:16,235
Detectives S and P didn't lie.
Detectives S and P no lie.
213
00:08:19,488 --> 00:08:21,948
Sergeant, please tell me
this malfunctioning copier
214
00:08:22,032 --> 00:08:23,200
isn't gonna sink our precinct.
215
00:08:23,284 --> 00:08:24,576
I figured out how to turn it on,
216
00:08:24,660 --> 00:08:27,329
but the screen just shows a
cartoon turtle sobbing. [SOBBING]
217
00:08:27,413 --> 00:08:28,455
Perhaps it's a paper jam.
218
00:08:28,539 --> 00:08:29,664
And what about when the little sushi roll
219
00:08:29,748 --> 00:08:31,792
comes out and cuts the turtle's head off?
220
00:08:31,876 --> 00:08:33,210
Toner issue. Why?
221
00:08:33,419 --> 00:08:34,961
Anyway, I started taking it apart,
222
00:08:35,045 --> 00:08:37,631
but it's been a slow
process for some reason.
223
00:08:37,715 --> 00:08:39,967
Hey, Captain, I'm glad
you're here to see this.
224
00:08:40,051 --> 00:08:41,601
I'm just about to drink my tea.
225
00:08:41,970 --> 00:08:43,013
Terry.
226
00:08:47,642 --> 00:08:48,810
[SLURPING]
227
00:08:51,521 --> 00:08:54,190
Can't even tell I was hit by a bus.
That's how independent I am.
228
00:08:54,274 --> 00:08:57,777
Well, uh, perhaps Boyle and Diaz
have made more progress with the rats.
229
00:08:57,903 --> 00:08:59,195
We've made absolutely no progress.
230
00:08:59,279 --> 00:09:00,655
It took forever to bait the traps
231
00:09:00,739 --> 00:09:02,907
because Scully kept eating
the peanut butter out of them.
232
00:09:02,991 --> 00:09:04,450
You can't prove it was me, Rosa.
233
00:09:04,534 --> 00:09:05,827
Now, we're gonna use
the wolf urine to flush
234
00:09:05,911 --> 00:09:07,829
the rats out of the
walls and into our traps.
235
00:09:07,913 --> 00:09:10,499
And that's where I come in.
I'm going up in the ceiling.
236
00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:12,585
Why are you dressed like that? Mobility.
237
00:09:12,710 --> 00:09:15,295
It's a good thing I still have my
sexy cat costume from Halloween.
238
00:09:15,379 --> 00:09:17,589
I really don't think you were
the target audience for that item.
239
00:09:17,673 --> 00:09:19,800
There is nothing
gendered about a sexy cat.
240
00:09:19,926 --> 00:09:22,803
Now, please hand me that big
jug of wolf pee I rub on my kid.
241
00:09:22,887 --> 00:09:25,806
Okay, Teddy, let's not
evaluate rashly here, all right?
242
00:09:25,890 --> 00:09:28,517
This is a misunderstanding.
We're not saying pilsners are boring.
243
00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:31,979
We're saying that we are too
boring to appreciate them properly…
244
00:09:32,063 --> 00:09:33,313
Is what I'm going with.
245
00:09:33,397 --> 00:09:34,439
Jake, I agree with you.
246
00:09:34,523 --> 00:09:36,483
Pilsners are boring.
It's why I don't drink them anymore.
247
00:09:36,567 --> 00:09:37,818
Say what, now? Amy was right.
248
00:09:37,902 --> 00:09:39,903
When we were going
together, I was boring.
249
00:09:39,987 --> 00:09:41,406
It took our breakup
for me to realize that.
250
00:09:41,490 --> 00:09:43,366
So, you're not still mad at me?
251
00:09:43,450 --> 00:09:45,535
No, no, no, you changed me.
I found my wild side.
252
00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:47,078
My girlfriend and I do 5Ks now.
253
00:09:47,162 --> 00:09:49,247
We took a two-week trip
to San Diego last year.
254
00:09:49,331 --> 00:09:51,291
The energy of that place is electric.
255
00:09:51,375 --> 00:09:53,668
But back at the precinct, you said,
256
00:09:53,752 --> 00:09:55,253
"I hope I don't bore you to death."
257
00:09:55,337 --> 00:09:56,630
[LAUGHING]
258
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,716
That was a joke.
Humor is the tool of the interesting.
259
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,594
Right.
A tool that you have clearly mastered.
260
00:10:02,761 --> 00:10:06,222
Ooh, get this. My lady turned me on to
something called adult coloring books,
261
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:07,808
which we do at, wait for it…
262
00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:10,476
Jazz brunches. What?
263
00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:11,603
[CHUCKLES] Wow!
264
00:10:11,728 --> 00:10:13,606
It's like brunch is crazy
enough on its own,
265
00:10:13,690 --> 00:10:15,024
then you throw jazz in the mix.
266
00:10:15,108 --> 00:10:17,360
It's like, "Why are we even doing this?"
267
00:10:17,485 --> 00:10:18,903
[ALL LAUGHING]
268
00:10:22,156 --> 00:10:23,407
Oh, my God, that is good.
269
00:10:23,491 --> 00:10:25,743
This is fun. I have not laughed
this much in a long time.
270
00:10:25,827 --> 00:10:27,036
Twice. Reminder,
271
00:10:27,161 --> 00:10:28,579
invite Jake and Amy
to jazz brunch tomorrow.
272
00:10:28,663 --> 00:10:30,206
Uh, reminder, we're in. Good.
273
00:10:30,290 --> 00:10:31,749
But I am actually gonna
email you the invite,
274
00:10:31,833 --> 00:10:32,917
if you could just RSVP to that.
275
00:10:33,001 --> 00:10:35,085
I'd feel better if everyone
had it on their calendars.
276
00:10:35,169 --> 00:10:36,420
Copy that. We all have calendars.
277
00:10:36,504 --> 00:10:39,004
So, that'll work out great,
'cause we all have one.
278
00:10:39,340 --> 00:10:41,217
-How's it going with the copier?
-JEFFORDS: Not great.
279
00:10:41,301 --> 00:10:43,093
I got through to customer service,
280
00:10:43,177 --> 00:10:45,430
but I really don't remember
that much Japanese.
281
00:10:45,514 --> 00:10:48,183
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]
282
00:10:48,767 --> 00:10:50,518
Hey, Captain.
Update on the rat situation,
283
00:10:50,602 --> 00:10:52,771
wolf pee's in place, and the
traps are set in the evidence room.
284
00:10:52,855 --> 00:10:54,689
I thought we were luring
them into the break room.
285
00:10:54,773 --> 00:10:56,650
No, Gina needed it for meditation.
286
00:10:56,859 --> 00:11:00,112
GINA [RECORDING]: You are strong.
You are wise.
287
00:11:00,404 --> 00:11:04,241
You will have your revenge
on all New York City buses.
288
00:11:04,491 --> 00:11:05,825
-Everything else is good?
-DIAZ: Not quite.
289
00:11:05,909 --> 00:11:07,309
We have a Charles situation.
290
00:11:07,578 --> 00:11:09,287
-How stuck are you, Boyle?
-BOYLE: Completely.
291
00:11:09,371 --> 00:11:12,791
My tail seems to have gotten
knotted around a sprinkler.
292
00:11:12,875 --> 00:11:15,001
I think I can pull it.
No, that might break the pipe.
293
00:11:15,085 --> 00:11:16,337
The last thing we need is a flood.
294
00:11:16,421 --> 00:11:18,339
That's okay.
I'm sure you'll have me down in no time.
295
00:11:18,423 --> 00:11:20,341
Incorrect.
That would make a hole in the ceiling.
296
00:11:20,425 --> 00:11:22,677
You're there till Monday.
We'll bring you some food in a bucket.
297
00:11:22,761 --> 00:11:25,263
Sir, I… He'll be fine.
298
00:11:25,347 --> 00:11:28,016
Guava juice, mango juice,
orange juice, of course,
299
00:11:28,350 --> 00:11:30,768
grapefruit juice, and cranberry juice.
300
00:11:30,852 --> 00:11:33,396
Jazz brunch sounds insane.
301
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:36,190
But should we talk about
how efficient and well-run
302
00:11:36,274 --> 00:11:37,316
the Nine-Nine is for a while?
303
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:38,526
We got plenty of time for that.
304
00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:39,694
I'm gonna hit the little boys' room.
305
00:11:39,778 --> 00:11:40,903
When I get back, remind me to tell you
306
00:11:40,987 --> 00:11:42,113
all about the omelet bar station.
307
00:11:42,197 --> 00:11:43,239
We will. You bet.
308
00:11:43,323 --> 00:11:46,200
Spoiler alert… Two kinds of bell pepper.
309
00:11:46,284 --> 00:11:47,619
[BOTH LAUGHING AWKWARDLY]
310
00:11:47,703 --> 00:11:49,329
Oh, my God, he's so boring.
311
00:11:49,413 --> 00:11:51,456
He's so boring.
The most boring man in America.
312
00:11:51,540 --> 00:11:54,209
And that's him trying to be interesting.
That is spring-break Teddy.
313
00:11:54,293 --> 00:11:55,460
How did you ever date him? [SIGHS]
314
00:11:55,544 --> 00:11:58,255
Oh, no.
He has a really big wiener, doesn't he?
315
00:11:58,339 --> 00:12:00,299
Wait. Don't tell me if
that's true, unless it's not.
316
00:12:00,383 --> 00:12:02,759
No, but then if you don't say
anything, I'll know that it is. [GRUNTS]
317
00:12:02,843 --> 00:12:04,261
Why aren't you saying
anything about his wiener, Amy?
318
00:12:04,345 --> 00:12:05,387
Jake! Stop, stop, stop.
319
00:12:05,471 --> 00:12:06,596
I don't want to hear
about your ex's wiener.
320
00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:08,307
Just… You're not making me feel better.
321
00:12:08,391 --> 00:12:09,599
Why would you do this to me?
322
00:12:09,683 --> 00:12:10,892
Jake, stop spiraling.
323
00:12:10,976 --> 00:12:12,853
Every time you shake
me, I see it flopping around.
324
00:12:12,937 --> 00:12:15,022
Stop. Oh, look, there's our gang leader.
325
00:12:15,856 --> 00:12:17,650
-Seriously?
-[CAMERA CLICKING]
326
00:12:18,527 --> 00:12:19,569
Wow!
327
00:12:19,653 --> 00:12:21,696
Perfect timing, successful stakeout.
328
00:12:21,780 --> 00:12:25,325
There's no way that Sergeant
Boring-Big-Wiener will shut us down now.
329
00:12:25,409 --> 00:12:26,909
Shh. I think I hear Teddy.
You didn't answer.
330
00:12:26,993 --> 00:12:28,453
Forgot the old phonester.
331
00:12:28,537 --> 00:12:30,204
I like to go through my
contacts while I go pee.
332
00:12:30,288 --> 00:12:32,373
So, you only need to use one hand.
That's great.
333
00:12:32,457 --> 00:12:33,499
Oh, look, it was still recording.
334
00:12:33,583 --> 00:12:35,084
Like, "recording" recording?
335
00:12:35,168 --> 00:12:36,336
[LAUGHING] Yeah.
336
00:12:36,628 --> 00:12:37,754
Oh, this is bad.
337
00:12:37,838 --> 00:12:39,255
What, what's wrong?
338
00:12:39,339 --> 00:12:42,091
Oh, my God. It was recording the
whole time. We said all that bad stuff.
339
00:12:42,175 --> 00:12:45,512
Sorry, I was so preoccupied with
the wiener stuff. Oh, this is bad.
340
00:12:45,637 --> 00:12:48,140
But while I have you, just stop me.
341
00:12:51,519 --> 00:12:53,270
I know accepting
Teddy's jazz-brunch invite
342
00:12:53,354 --> 00:12:54,480
was the only way to get his phone back
343
00:12:54,564 --> 00:12:57,483
and save the Nine-Nine,
but this place is literally hell.
344
00:12:57,567 --> 00:13:00,361
♪ Eggs Benedict in a lickety split ♪
345
00:13:00,445 --> 00:13:03,530
She's doing jazz about brunch. Maybe
it's not too late to get out of here.
346
00:13:03,614 --> 00:13:06,241
We could start a new life in the
country, maybe open a small bookstore.
347
00:13:06,325 --> 00:13:08,327
How dare you tempt me
with a small bookstore?
348
00:13:08,411 --> 00:13:10,287
We need to focus. Okay.
349
00:13:10,371 --> 00:13:13,499
Look, Teddy's over there.
Oh, and he's in fun, casual wear.
350
00:13:13,583 --> 00:13:15,501
His phone is out on the
table, like it always is,
351
00:13:15,585 --> 00:13:17,836
because he fears the
radiation will affect his testicles.
352
00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:19,380
Which are connected to his average-sized…
353
00:13:19,464 --> 00:13:21,090
Jake. Right.
It's misshapen, that's all that matters.
354
00:13:21,174 --> 00:13:22,967
All right, here's the
plan, we stage a fight,
355
00:13:23,051 --> 00:13:25,470
it escalates, then I flip over
the table in dramatic fashion.
356
00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:26,638
Do we need the table flip?
357
00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:29,933
Amy, when the opportunity
presents itself to flippa de table,
358
00:13:30,017 --> 00:13:31,142
uh, you flippa de table.
359
00:13:31,226 --> 00:13:32,685
And in the chaos, you grab his phone,
360
00:13:32,769 --> 00:13:34,354
delete the recording, and we're golden.
361
00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:38,233
Perfect. All right, let's stage a
fake fight. This'll be fun, right?
362
00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:40,360
Pretending like we have things
to be mad at each other about.
363
00:13:40,444 --> 00:13:42,445
Jake's chronic tardiness, his slobbiness,
364
00:13:42,529 --> 00:13:44,072
and the fact that he
wasted half the morning
365
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:45,323
deciding what sneakers to wear.
366
00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:47,033
Those are just some of
the reasons we're late.
367
00:13:47,117 --> 00:13:48,910
No one cares about your sneakers, Jake.
368
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:50,161
Yeah, very convincing.
369
00:13:50,245 --> 00:13:52,622
We're just glad you guys made it.
This is Rachel, my girlfriend.
370
00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:53,750
Hi.
371
00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:57,586
So, Teddy said you guys had
such a blast at the stakeout.
372
00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:00,381
Yes, it was incredible. Can I really
quickly say the real reason we were late
373
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,216
was that Amy insisted on
brushing her teeth for 30 minutes?
374
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:05,386
Two minutes or one minute,
58 seconds longer than you did.
375
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:07,930
Anyway, can we please
just talk to our friends?
376
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:09,098
Fine. Fine.
377
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,059
So, Rachel, how did you guys meet?
378
00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:12,726
[BOTH LAUGHING]
379
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:14,521
Such a wild story. Mmm-hmm.
380
00:14:14,938 --> 00:14:17,022
So, I was on an elevator…
381
00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,608
And so was Teddy.
382
00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:22,653
-Oh, that's the whole story.
-SANTIAGO: I think it's romantic.
383
00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:25,073
I remember when our relationship
had magic moments like that
384
00:14:25,157 --> 00:14:27,242
before it went stale. Stale?
385
00:14:27,326 --> 00:14:30,162
Mmm. Okay, you want some action, Jackson?
386
00:14:30,246 --> 00:14:31,956
Well, how about I make a scene?
387
00:14:32,498 --> 00:14:33,874
[GROANS] Whoa, whoa!
388
00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:37,545
What are you doing?
Flipp-ah-ing de table.
389
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:38,754
[STRAINING]
390
00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:40,839
It's bolted down. Oh, what a shock.
391
00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:42,007
You tried something and failed.
392
00:14:42,091 --> 00:14:43,508
Okay, you know what? That's it.
393
00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:45,542
I'm gonna slide it right off! [SCREAMS]
394
00:14:46,845 --> 00:14:48,680
I am so sorry. I got carried away.
395
00:14:48,764 --> 00:14:50,390
I will now clean this
up entirely by myself.
396
00:14:50,474 --> 00:14:52,893
No. No, please keep your eyes
397
00:14:52,977 --> 00:14:55,855
on me as I make this sincere apology.
398
00:14:55,981 --> 00:14:58,816
I am sorry.
399
00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:01,736
It's okay. Something crazy always happens
at jazz brunch. It's the Wild West.
400
00:15:01,820 --> 00:15:05,073
[CHUCKLES] Oh, man,
Teddy, look what happened.
401
00:15:05,198 --> 00:15:07,241
Your phone landed
directly in this glass of OJ.
402
00:15:07,325 --> 00:15:09,410
That seems almost impossible.
403
00:15:09,494 --> 00:15:12,038
"Almost" being the key
word, but it happened for real,
404
00:15:12,122 --> 00:15:13,456
and we all know it. There you go.
405
00:15:13,540 --> 00:15:16,834
That's it. You've gone too far.
I am storming off now.
406
00:15:16,918 --> 00:15:19,671
No, you've gone too far,
and I'm storming off now!
407
00:15:21,006 --> 00:15:24,676
There's something I'd
like to show you, Captain.
408
00:15:25,343 --> 00:15:26,178
[BEEPING AND WHIRRING]
409
00:15:26,262 --> 00:15:28,013
[ELECTRONIC FEMALE
VOICE SPEAKING JAPANESE]
410
00:15:28,097 --> 00:15:31,099
"Terry." "Crushed." "It."
411
00:15:31,183 --> 00:15:35,437
It works! I've never been more
proud of you for anything in your life.
412
00:15:35,521 --> 00:15:37,898
I mean, I've solved
a lot of cases for you.
413
00:15:37,982 --> 00:15:39,382
And yet crime has continued.
414
00:15:39,525 --> 00:15:40,609
I think we've done it, Captain.
415
00:15:40,693 --> 00:15:41,818
Just heard the traps go off.
416
00:15:41,902 --> 00:15:44,071
Want to come check with us?
Of course. How's Boyle doing?
417
00:15:44,155 --> 00:15:47,205
He's fine. You know how quickly
he submits to his environment.
418
00:15:47,575 --> 00:15:48,659
Where are the rats?
419
00:15:48,743 --> 00:15:51,161
There's blood everywhere.
This is a horror scene.
420
00:15:51,245 --> 00:15:52,454
They must've chewed themselves free.
421
00:15:52,538 --> 00:15:53,830
Detective Diaz, what was in that box?
422
00:15:53,914 --> 00:15:55,791
DIAZ: It's from a closed case in 1986,
423
00:15:55,875 --> 00:15:58,126
when they busted the guy
that dealt to the New York Mets.
424
00:15:58,210 --> 00:16:01,422
My God, those rats have eaten the purest
cocaine in the history of this city.
425
00:16:01,506 --> 00:16:03,258
They know no fear or pain.
426
00:16:03,592 --> 00:16:05,942
-And look! They're back in the walls.
-[SQUEAKING]
427
00:16:06,136 --> 00:16:07,178
ALL [TOGETHER]: Boyle!
428
00:16:07,262 --> 00:16:08,304
-[METALLIC CLANGING]
-[BOYLE SCREAMING]
429
00:16:08,388 --> 00:16:09,847
BOYLE: The rats chewed
through the sprinkler pipe!
430
00:16:09,931 --> 00:16:11,432
They're coked up, get out of there!
431
00:16:11,516 --> 00:16:12,559
BOYLE: They think I'm a cat.
432
00:16:12,643 --> 00:16:15,645
Boyle, be careful of the ceiling.
Submit to them!
433
00:16:15,729 --> 00:16:17,429
BOYLE: Tell Jake I never panicked.
434
00:16:18,106 --> 00:16:19,191
[ALL EXCLAIM]
435
00:16:21,109 --> 00:16:22,944
My copier! My precinct!
436
00:16:23,028 --> 00:16:24,071
Charles!
437
00:16:24,696 --> 00:16:25,863
Charles?
438
00:16:25,947 --> 00:16:29,743
[HIGH-PITCHED] Get out!
They survived the fall! Run!
439
00:16:30,244 --> 00:16:32,204
That was fun.
We're really good at fake fighting.
440
00:16:32,288 --> 00:16:34,832
And you were amazing at coming
up with all that stuff to be mad about.
441
00:16:34,916 --> 00:16:36,625
Yep, totally, I just said all that stuff
442
00:16:36,709 --> 00:16:38,877
to save the precinct, and that's all.
443
00:16:38,961 --> 00:16:41,297
Oh, my God.
You don't actually care about my sneakers.
444
00:16:41,381 --> 00:16:44,675
No! I care about them deeply.
445
00:16:44,759 --> 00:16:46,094
They're all so different.
446
00:16:46,678 --> 00:16:47,762
Okay.
447
00:16:47,887 --> 00:16:51,265
-Hey, guys, it's Teddy from jazz brunch.
-PERALTA: Hey, Teddy.
448
00:16:51,349 --> 00:16:53,559
It's Teddy from jazz brunch.
Why is he here? I don't know.
449
00:16:53,643 --> 00:16:55,019
But the fake fight's back on.
450
00:16:55,103 --> 00:16:58,022
So, shut it, you bigmouthed
bitch and your stupid sneakers!
451
00:16:58,106 --> 00:17:00,024
[WHISPERS] If you don't like
my shoes, you can just tell me.
452
00:17:00,108 --> 00:17:02,027
Hi.
Can I talk to you guys about something?
453
00:17:02,111 --> 00:17:03,445
Actually, Teddy, this is not a good time.
454
00:17:03,529 --> 00:17:04,571
We're still having a pretty big fight.
455
00:17:04,655 --> 00:17:07,407
Well, I think what I'm about
to say may solve things.
456
00:17:07,491 --> 00:17:08,533
Amy, I'm still in love with you.
457
00:17:08,617 --> 00:17:09,659
What? What?
458
00:17:09,743 --> 00:17:11,078
What? Uh-oh.
459
00:17:11,954 --> 00:17:13,413
♪ A skibba, skop, scoop ♪
460
00:17:13,497 --> 00:17:17,459
♪ This is super uncomfortable ♪
Jazz.
461
00:17:20,129 --> 00:17:23,340
Okay. Okay, everybody just
calm down and take a deep breath.
462
00:17:23,465 --> 00:17:25,008
[PERALTA, RACHEL BREATHE DEEPLY]
463
00:17:25,092 --> 00:17:26,301
What the hell is going on, man?
464
00:17:26,385 --> 00:17:28,553
Yeah, what the hell is going on?
You've got a girlfriend.
465
00:17:28,637 --> 00:17:31,223
I know. And she's fine. Thanks.
466
00:17:31,348 --> 00:17:33,726
Sorry, I was really planning on
you being in the cab during this.
467
00:17:33,810 --> 00:17:35,519
Okay, that wouldn't make it better. No.
468
00:17:35,603 --> 00:17:37,021
Amy, I'm just… I'm not over you yet,
469
00:17:37,105 --> 00:17:38,356
and I would've never said anything,
470
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:39,482
because I thought you
and Jake were happy,
471
00:17:39,566 --> 00:17:41,192
but after seeing you at jazz brunch,
472
00:17:41,276 --> 00:17:42,485
I think I might've been wrong.
473
00:17:42,569 --> 00:17:43,694
Don't read into that.
474
00:17:43,778 --> 00:17:46,322
That was a freak argument.
We are very happy.
475
00:17:46,406 --> 00:17:48,866
Amy, we have all the same interests.
We have so much chemistry.
476
00:17:48,950 --> 00:17:50,034
When we're together, it's like,
477
00:17:50,118 --> 00:17:51,994
no matter where we are, it's San Diego.
478
00:17:52,078 --> 00:17:54,121
I feel compelled to tell you
that San Diego's terrible.
479
00:17:54,205 --> 00:17:57,083
I'm gonna lay it all on the line.
Amy Santiago…
480
00:17:58,084 --> 00:17:59,126
Will you marry me?
481
00:17:59,210 --> 00:18:00,211
SANTIAGO, PERALTA: What? What?
482
00:18:00,295 --> 00:18:01,379
Okay. Really, could you stay in the cab?
483
00:18:01,463 --> 00:18:02,505
I'm sorry.
I'll be right there, I promise.
484
00:18:02,589 --> 00:18:04,216
Or maybe I won't. What's your answer?
485
00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:06,009
Teddy, I don't want to be with you.
486
00:18:06,093 --> 00:18:08,804
But you want to be with him?
You guys have nothing in common.
487
00:18:08,888 --> 00:18:10,889
Oh, yeah? Tell that to William Atherton.
488
00:18:10,973 --> 00:18:14,267
The man we both consider to be
the second best Die Hard villain.
489
00:18:14,351 --> 00:18:16,645
[GASPS] She meant it. And also, yes,
490
00:18:16,771 --> 00:18:18,021
we are different people,
491
00:18:18,105 --> 00:18:19,481
but I love that about us.
492
00:18:19,565 --> 00:18:21,483
I love that Jake's a little messy
493
00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:24,152
and that he cares so much
about his dumb sneakers
494
00:18:24,236 --> 00:18:26,279
and he doesn't get
stressed out about calendars.
495
00:18:26,363 --> 00:18:28,740
Or flossing my teeth.
No, the non-flossing is crazy.
496
00:18:28,824 --> 00:18:29,866
Copy that, and I love you.
497
00:18:29,950 --> 00:18:33,250
I'm just so confused. Your fight
was like something out of a movie.
498
00:18:34,163 --> 00:18:37,709
Teddy, I have to tell you the truth.
No. No. Amy is dying.
499
00:18:37,834 --> 00:18:40,586
She has one month to live.
Marrying her would be a waste of time.
500
00:18:40,670 --> 00:18:42,380
Jake and I were only pretending to fight
501
00:18:42,464 --> 00:18:43,923
so that we could destroy your phone.
502
00:18:44,007 --> 00:18:46,259
While we were on the stakeout
and you were in the bathroom,
503
00:18:46,343 --> 00:18:48,261
we said you were the
most boring man in America,
504
00:18:48,345 --> 00:18:50,638
and your phone recorded it. I'm sorry.
505
00:18:50,722 --> 00:18:53,224
We didn't want you to get
mad at us and fail the precinct.
506
00:18:53,308 --> 00:18:54,392
Wow.
507
00:18:54,643 --> 00:18:55,768
You guys are the worst.
508
00:18:55,852 --> 00:18:58,396
Eh, you just proposed in front of
your girlfriend, so potato, potahto.
509
00:18:58,480 --> 00:18:59,773
Amy, I loved you.
510
00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:03,609
All right, I'm ready to go, Rachel.
511
00:19:03,693 --> 00:19:04,736
Should we hit up the Tenement Museum?
512
00:19:04,820 --> 00:19:05,945
BOTH: No! No!
513
00:19:06,029 --> 00:19:07,781
I talked to NYPD facilities
514
00:19:07,865 --> 00:19:10,826
to see if they could get an emergency
cleanup crew out to us this afternoon.
515
00:19:10,910 --> 00:19:13,037
I received their standard response.
516
00:19:13,287 --> 00:19:15,081
[LAUGHING]
517
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:17,166
This is on you, Boyle.
518
00:19:17,250 --> 00:19:19,168
You couldn't just suck it up
and let a few dozen crazed rats
519
00:19:19,252 --> 00:19:20,461
eat you until their hearts exploded?
520
00:19:20,545 --> 00:19:21,628
JEFFORDS: Don't blame Boyle.
521
00:19:21,712 --> 00:19:22,713
The rats only got into the cocaine
522
00:19:22,797 --> 00:19:24,965
because you put the
traps in the evidence room.
523
00:19:25,049 --> 00:19:26,633
We were gonna use the break
room, but Gina was in there,
524
00:19:26,717 --> 00:19:29,344
and she got hit by a damn
bus, so nobody can say no to her.
525
00:19:29,428 --> 00:19:33,099
That's it. "Nobody can say no to her."
526
00:19:33,391 --> 00:19:35,309
[LAUGHING]
527
00:19:37,186 --> 00:19:38,229
Answer's still no.
528
00:19:38,397 --> 00:19:41,316
Right, but maybe you should
speak to my colleague first.
529
00:19:43,151 --> 00:19:46,071
Hi. I got hit by a bus.
530
00:19:47,739 --> 00:19:50,200
-SANTIAGO: Wow, this place looks amazing.
-HOLT: Yes, thanks to Gina.
531
00:19:50,284 --> 00:19:53,119
She's responsible for all of it.
She's an inspiration.
532
00:19:53,203 --> 00:19:56,164
Thank you, Captain.
You have permission to share my story.
533
00:19:56,248 --> 00:19:57,999
So, how'd it go with Sergeant Wells?
534
00:19:58,083 --> 00:19:59,959
Let's see. He proposed to Amy.
535
00:20:00,043 --> 00:20:02,045
She said no, and then
his girlfriend dumped him.
536
00:20:02,129 --> 00:20:04,297
Terry's getting nervous.
It's worse than it sounds.
537
00:20:04,381 --> 00:20:05,882
There was a jazz brunch involved.
538
00:20:05,966 --> 00:20:07,217
Oh! Oh, my God.
539
00:20:07,342 --> 00:20:09,344
Look, all we can do is hope that
540
00:20:09,428 --> 00:20:11,430
Sergeant Wells handles
this like a professional
541
00:20:11,514 --> 00:20:13,024
and respects the
uniform that we all wear.
542
00:20:13,108 --> 00:20:13,974
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
543
00:20:14,058 --> 00:20:15,935
Hey, everybody, look who's here.
544
00:20:16,019 --> 00:20:18,687
It's me, the most boring man in America.
545
00:20:18,771 --> 00:20:20,981
Well, to be the most anything
in America is pretty good.
546
00:20:21,065 --> 00:20:22,191
I mean, it's a big country.
547
00:20:22,275 --> 00:20:23,442
Teddy, we are so sorry.
548
00:20:23,526 --> 00:20:24,610
No, you don't have to be.
549
00:20:24,694 --> 00:20:27,947
It's okay. I get it. I am boring.
I'm owning it now.
550
00:20:28,072 --> 00:20:30,199
Sergeant Wells, I understand that
you're upset for personal reasons,
551
00:20:30,283 --> 00:20:32,952
but we're hoping that you'll
give us a fair evaluation.
552
00:20:33,036 --> 00:20:35,704
I will not.
'Cause I'm not gonna write one at all.
553
00:20:35,788 --> 00:20:37,081
I'm recusing myself.
554
00:20:37,707 --> 00:20:38,749
Oh.
555
00:20:38,833 --> 00:20:41,962
That is so sweet. Thank you
for being such a good guy, Teddy.
556
00:20:42,087 --> 00:20:45,131
Okay. I can read between
the lines, and I love you, too.
557
00:20:45,215 --> 00:20:46,675
Amy Santiago, will you…
558
00:20:46,759 --> 00:20:48,093
No! Get up! Come on!
559
00:20:48,177 --> 00:20:51,221
Well, for what it's worth,
your precinct is immaculate.
560
00:20:51,305 --> 00:20:53,056
I'm sure that your new auditor,
561
00:20:53,140 --> 00:20:55,100
Lieutenant Hopkins,
will be very impressed.
562
00:20:55,184 --> 00:20:56,226
Veronica Hopkins?
563
00:20:56,310 --> 00:20:57,728
That's the one.
564
00:20:58,604 --> 00:21:01,774
Well, the good news is,
Amy has not dated her.
565
00:21:01,899 --> 00:21:04,485
No, but I did, and she hates me.
566
00:21:04,652 --> 00:21:06,820
Why can't any of you
keep it in your pants?
567
00:21:06,946 --> 00:21:11,909
Hello, Nine-Nine. I'm Lieutenant Hopkins.
Hello, Terry Jeffords.
568
00:21:12,284 --> 00:21:14,537
Come here and give an old friend a hug.
569
00:21:14,621 --> 00:21:17,999
Hey, so good to see you.
[CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY]
570
00:21:18,875 --> 00:21:20,710
I'm shutting the Nine-Nine down,
571
00:21:20,794 --> 00:21:22,879
and there is nothing you can do about it.
572
00:21:23,380 --> 00:21:24,798
[LAUGHING]
573
00:21:25,006 --> 00:21:26,340
Oh!
574
00:21:26,424 --> 00:21:29,010
This place is fantastic.
575
00:21:29,636 --> 00:21:31,429
This is gonna be fun.
576
00:21:31,513 --> 00:21:32,847
[LAUGHING]
577
00:21:33,139 --> 00:21:34,224
She seems nice.