1 00:00:02,791 --> 00:00:04,585 Hey there, Boyle. How was your weekend? 2 00:00:04,669 --> 00:00:06,421 Well, actually I got a little sick. 3 00:00:06,754 --> 00:00:08,381 Oh, really? I'm sorry to hear that, man. 4 00:00:08,465 --> 00:00:11,426 Yeah, Bullets Over Broadway was on TV. 5 00:00:11,510 --> 00:00:15,514 And I came down with a big ol' Dianne Wiest infection. 6 00:00:26,277 --> 00:00:27,444 Like "yeast"! 7 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,530 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 8 00:00:47,843 --> 00:00:49,719 So, I'll coordinate with the transit cops, 9 00:00:49,803 --> 00:00:52,803 -while you follow up with the DA's office… -[CHAIR SCRAPING] 10 00:00:53,141 --> 00:00:55,184 Uh, can I help you, Captain Stentley? 11 00:00:55,268 --> 00:00:59,022 Oh, hey, uh, did you guys see a black backpack sitting around anywhere? 12 00:00:59,106 --> 00:01:00,190 I did not. No. 13 00:01:00,274 --> 00:01:02,568 Oh, shoot, this is turning out to be a real cluster-biff. 14 00:01:02,652 --> 00:01:04,195 Why? What's in the backpack? 15 00:01:04,279 --> 00:01:06,823 Oh, just some evidence. Do you guys know a drug dealer named Flaco? 16 00:01:06,907 --> 00:01:08,575 Oh, yeah, he's a big-time supplier. 17 00:01:08,659 --> 00:01:10,243 Consolidated half the territory in Brooklyn. 18 00:01:10,327 --> 00:01:11,996 Well, the bag belongs to one of his runners, 19 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:15,040 and it contains, like, a football's worth of cocaine. 20 00:01:15,124 --> 00:01:16,709 I'm not good with sizes. And a cell phone. 21 00:01:16,793 --> 00:01:17,961 You think that the cell phone 22 00:01:18,045 --> 00:01:19,463 might have intel that could lead us to Flaco. 23 00:01:19,547 --> 00:01:22,632 I do now. That's a great theory! Whoa! 24 00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:25,178 But the bag is missing, so… 25 00:01:25,262 --> 00:01:28,598 Hey, how big of a deal is it if I, um, never find it? 26 00:01:28,682 --> 00:01:29,974 I'd say it's a very… Uh, hup, hup! 27 00:01:30,058 --> 00:01:31,142 Sugar-coat it for me. 28 00:01:31,226 --> 00:01:33,521 Okay, uh, no biggie. 29 00:01:34,355 --> 00:01:36,023 Ah! That is great news. Thank you so much. 30 00:01:36,107 --> 00:01:38,485 Hey, if you see something, say something. 31 00:01:38,569 --> 00:01:40,236 Oh, that is catchy, huh? 32 00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:42,620 [CHUCKLES] It's like I just made up a hit song. 33 00:01:42,739 --> 00:01:43,948 No, very common police expression. 34 00:01:44,032 --> 00:01:46,827 ♪ If you see somethin', say somethin' ♪ 35 00:01:46,911 --> 00:01:49,247 ♪ Come on and party tonight ♪ 36 00:01:49,414 --> 00:01:50,999 [IMITATES GUNSHOT] [LAUGHING] 37 00:01:51,207 --> 00:01:52,250 This is our chance. 38 00:01:52,334 --> 00:01:54,628 If C.J. can't find that evidence, he could be fired. 39 00:01:54,712 --> 00:01:56,671 This could be our way back onto the day shift. 40 00:01:56,755 --> 00:01:59,217 ♪ Come on and party tonight ♪ 41 00:01:59,301 --> 00:02:01,427 Whoo! It's actually a really catchy song. 42 00:02:01,511 --> 00:02:02,678 There's nothing to celebrate. 43 00:02:02,762 --> 00:02:04,430 Captain Stentley is going to find that evidence 44 00:02:04,514 --> 00:02:05,807 because we're going to help him. 45 00:02:05,891 --> 00:02:07,935 What? No. This is our chance to undermine him. 46 00:02:08,019 --> 00:02:09,353 Come on and party tonight! 47 00:02:09,437 --> 00:02:12,649 Peralta, we're police officers. 48 00:02:12,774 --> 00:02:14,901 We have a duty to protect this city. 49 00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:18,614 We took an oath, a sacred oath. 50 00:02:18,698 --> 00:02:20,741 What if those drugs end up on the street? 51 00:02:20,825 --> 00:02:24,829 Or a dangerous criminal is set free because of missing evidence? 52 00:02:25,121 --> 00:02:28,250 [SIGHS] Okay, you know, you're trying to say it's whatever 53 00:02:28,334 --> 00:02:30,418 because you just… [MUMBLING] 54 00:02:30,502 --> 00:02:31,878 You're fumfering. Of course, I'm fumfering. 55 00:02:31,962 --> 00:02:34,962 Fine, we'll find the bag. Come on and party tonight. Damn it. 56 00:02:35,216 --> 00:02:38,303 Hey, guys, department has a new green initiative. 57 00:02:38,428 --> 00:02:41,640 We have to reduce energy usage by 15%. 58 00:02:41,724 --> 00:02:44,184 That means no more laminating, Santiago. 59 00:02:44,268 --> 00:02:45,519 Oh, that's fine. 60 00:02:45,603 --> 00:02:48,398 It's not the thing that gives me the most pleasure in life. 61 00:02:48,482 --> 00:02:51,150 Interacting with other people, that's what gets me going. 62 00:02:51,234 --> 00:02:53,445 Scully, Hitchcock, lose the chocolate fountain. 63 00:02:53,529 --> 00:02:55,656 What are we supposed to dip our strawberries in? 64 00:02:55,740 --> 00:02:58,993 -Our nacho cheese fountain? That's crazy. -HITCHCOCK: Unless… 65 00:03:03,415 --> 00:03:05,834 Sarge, you beautiful bastard. 66 00:03:05,918 --> 00:03:06,961 Get rid of them! 67 00:03:07,253 --> 00:03:10,506 And, Gina, you can't run that space heater 24/7 anymore. 68 00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:11,632 [SCOFFING] "Space heater"? 69 00:03:11,716 --> 00:03:15,805 Excuse me, this is a Fornax Radiant Comfort System, 70 00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:17,347 and her name is Jacinta. 71 00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:19,391 Okay, well, Jacinta's gotta go. 72 00:03:19,475 --> 00:03:20,768 He didn't mean that, darling. 73 00:03:20,852 --> 00:03:23,187 Seriously, turn off the space heater. No. 74 00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:24,772 Do it, now. That's an order. 75 00:03:24,856 --> 00:03:26,358 Yeah, well, you don't want to start 76 00:03:26,442 --> 00:03:28,527 a battle of the wills with Gina Linetti 77 00:03:28,611 --> 00:03:31,364 because you will emerge from that battle a broken man. 78 00:03:31,489 --> 00:03:33,199 Not to brag, but I was name-checked 79 00:03:33,283 --> 00:03:35,333 in my kindergarten teacher's suicide note. 80 00:03:36,286 --> 00:03:37,621 Oh, my God. 81 00:03:38,247 --> 00:03:39,874 Any luck finding the missing backpack? 82 00:03:39,958 --> 00:03:42,168 No, but I did find C.J.'s wallet, badge, 83 00:03:42,252 --> 00:03:44,295 and gun on top of the toilet paper dispenser. 84 00:03:44,379 --> 00:03:45,963 I'm assuming he doesn't know they're missing. 85 00:03:46,047 --> 00:03:47,090 Mmm. Why are you helping this guy, sir? 86 00:03:47,174 --> 00:03:49,051 He's the opposite of everything you stand for. 87 00:03:49,135 --> 00:03:51,470 His favorite expression is, "That's going to leave a mark," 88 00:03:51,554 --> 00:03:53,204 and he doesn't even use it right. 89 00:03:55,016 --> 00:03:56,184 Whoo! That soup is good. 90 00:03:56,268 --> 00:03:58,061 That's going to leave a mark. What? 91 00:03:58,186 --> 00:03:59,228 Well, he's not our best, 92 00:03:59,312 --> 00:04:02,107 but I won't be part of any sneaky subterfuge designed to undermine him. 93 00:04:02,191 --> 00:04:04,735 You think you're so great just 'cause you always do what's good and right. 94 00:04:04,819 --> 00:04:07,030 Well, I've got news for you, you're boring. 95 00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:09,825 You know who else was called boring? 96 00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,409 Andreas Marggraf. 97 00:04:11,493 --> 00:04:13,244 And you know what he did? He discovered zinc, 98 00:04:13,328 --> 00:04:16,457 because you've used that one on me before, because you're boring. 99 00:04:16,541 --> 00:04:18,042 Well, if I'm so boring, how come I have a lead? 100 00:04:18,126 --> 00:04:19,293 Come take a look at this. 101 00:04:19,377 --> 00:04:22,297 This is security footage from the day the backpack went missing. 102 00:04:22,381 --> 00:04:23,924 11 a.m., the bag's over a chair. 103 00:04:24,008 --> 00:04:25,967 Now, let's fast-forward and see what happened to it. 104 00:04:26,051 --> 00:04:28,972 Wait, that was two hours? Where's C.J. during all this? 105 00:04:29,139 --> 00:04:31,600 ♪ You have the right to remain silent ♪ 106 00:04:32,726 --> 00:04:34,311 -♪ Come on and party tonight ♪ -PERALTA: Party tonight 107 00:04:34,395 --> 00:04:37,148 The guy's got good hooks. [CHUCKLING] I mean, right? 108 00:04:37,273 --> 00:04:38,565 Wait, who's this guy? 109 00:04:38,649 --> 00:04:40,609 Flaco must've sent someone to get the backpack, 110 00:04:40,693 --> 00:04:42,153 and they just waltzed right in 111 00:04:42,237 --> 00:04:43,363 and took it out of the precinct. 112 00:04:43,447 --> 00:04:45,157 Oh, C.J. is in so much trouble. 113 00:04:45,824 --> 00:04:47,367 You think that disapproving glare works on me 114 00:04:47,451 --> 00:04:48,619 after all the times I've seen it? 115 00:04:48,703 --> 00:04:51,539 Step it up, find something new, you're boring. 116 00:04:51,790 --> 00:04:56,753 'Ello, me lady. It's your matey lil' Charlie Boyle, innit, love? 117 00:04:56,837 --> 00:04:59,548 Ugh, It's 2 a.m., and we're working. How can you be so happy? 118 00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:02,301 Because I figured out the secret of surviving the night shift. 119 00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:05,931 You see, this little piggy went to the warehouse. 120 00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:07,682 This little piggy went with him. 121 00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,935 This little piggy was like… Stop, just stop 122 00:05:10,019 --> 00:05:11,979 and say whatever you are saying another way. 123 00:05:12,063 --> 00:05:16,276 I found a 24-hour foot massage parlor, and it's amazing. 124 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:19,360 It's the best experience you've ever had. You're just like… 125 00:05:19,822 --> 00:05:22,408 [MOANING] 126 00:05:22,992 --> 00:05:24,452 [MOANING] 127 00:05:24,536 --> 00:05:26,579 Ah! Why? 128 00:05:26,704 --> 00:05:27,747 Wouldn't stop making that noise, man. 129 00:05:27,831 --> 00:05:29,124 Let me take you. 130 00:05:29,208 --> 00:05:31,835 Let me show you the greatest and only pleasure of the night shift. 131 00:05:31,919 --> 00:05:35,131 Pass. I'd rather die than have a stranger touch my bare feet. 132 00:05:35,215 --> 00:05:37,800 I'm telling you, once they get their strong fingers 133 00:05:37,884 --> 00:05:40,220 in your toe gaps, it's just… 134 00:05:40,554 --> 00:05:42,473 [MOANING] 135 00:05:43,474 --> 00:05:44,517 [GRUNTS] 136 00:05:44,934 --> 00:05:47,519 [GROANS] That's on me. Shouldn't have had my eyes closed. 137 00:05:47,603 --> 00:05:50,356 [SIGHS] Hey, C.J. , you upset about something, man? 138 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:51,983 Maybe something in your career? 139 00:05:52,067 --> 00:05:54,861 Yeah, I told the brass that I lost the bag 140 00:05:54,945 --> 00:05:56,864 and I screwed up the whole Flaco case, 141 00:05:56,948 --> 00:05:59,074 and you were wrong, it was a biggie. 142 00:05:59,158 --> 00:06:00,242 Yeah, well, you told me to sugar-coat it. 143 00:06:00,326 --> 00:06:02,412 And whose fault is that, Jake? Yours. 144 00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:03,538 I know. 145 00:06:03,622 --> 00:06:05,499 Okay, so, what happened? 146 00:06:05,583 --> 00:06:07,375 I mean, they couldn't have fired you, right? 147 00:06:07,459 --> 00:06:09,170 [LAUGHING] That'd be crazy. I mean, they could. 148 00:06:09,254 --> 00:06:11,214 For sure, they had every reason to, but did they? 149 00:06:11,298 --> 00:06:13,341 Did they fire you? Worse. 150 00:06:13,425 --> 00:06:15,844 They're pulling my transfer. What transfer, what now? 151 00:06:15,928 --> 00:06:18,347 Oh, I've just been feeling overwhelmed with this job. 152 00:06:18,431 --> 00:06:19,723 I don't know if you've noticed, 153 00:06:19,807 --> 00:06:21,016 but I'm a little in over my head. 154 00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:22,519 Completely unqualified, yeah. 155 00:06:22,603 --> 00:06:24,521 It is so cool that you get me. Yeah. 156 00:06:24,605 --> 00:06:26,606 Anyway, I heard that they were hiring 157 00:06:26,690 --> 00:06:28,066 a head administrator at the Police Academy, 158 00:06:28,150 --> 00:06:29,193 so I put in for it. 159 00:06:29,277 --> 00:06:31,195 Wait, you want to train other officers? 160 00:06:31,279 --> 00:06:32,738 Well, the nine years at the Academy 161 00:06:32,822 --> 00:06:34,281 were some of the best years of my life. 162 00:06:34,365 --> 00:06:35,491 That's a six-month program. 163 00:06:35,575 --> 00:06:36,827 Sure, for a lot of people. 164 00:06:36,911 --> 00:06:39,371 Anyway, they said that the job was mine, 165 00:06:39,455 --> 00:06:44,628 and now, they're pissed, so it looks like I'm stuck here forever. 166 00:06:44,753 --> 00:06:48,422 No, no, no, no. All is not lost. We can still fix this. 167 00:06:48,506 --> 00:06:50,384 So, sure, maybe you can't get back the backpack, 168 00:06:50,468 --> 00:06:52,302 but you could do something even better. 169 00:06:52,386 --> 00:06:56,474 Like, what if you single-handedly figure out who Flaco is 170 00:06:56,558 --> 00:06:58,810 and then you take him down. 171 00:06:59,311 --> 00:07:00,353 Oh, come on, Jake. 172 00:07:00,437 --> 00:07:02,564 I'll just screw it up like I screw up everything else. 173 00:07:02,648 --> 00:07:04,567 No, you won't, because I will be there to help you. 174 00:07:04,651 --> 00:07:06,360 But don't worry, you'll still get all the credit. 175 00:07:06,444 --> 00:07:09,644 Listen to me, C.J., we're going to get you the hell out of here. 176 00:07:09,990 --> 00:07:11,449 Are you sugar-coating this for me? 177 00:07:11,533 --> 00:07:12,742 I most certainly am not. 178 00:07:12,826 --> 00:07:13,869 Whoo! 179 00:07:13,953 --> 00:07:15,453 That's going to leave a mark. 180 00:07:15,537 --> 00:07:16,706 Ah! 181 00:07:18,875 --> 00:07:22,169 So, Captain, I've been thinking about this whole missing-backpack thing, 182 00:07:22,253 --> 00:07:25,591 and what if we find Flaco and take him down? 183 00:07:25,675 --> 00:07:28,302 Oh, are you trying to solve C.J.'s case behind his back to embarrass him? 184 00:07:28,386 --> 00:07:31,890 No, not at all. In fact, I think C.J. should come along. 185 00:07:32,057 --> 00:07:34,726 I just realized how important my duty 186 00:07:34,810 --> 00:07:36,352 as a police officer is to me, you know? 187 00:07:36,436 --> 00:07:39,190 The sacred oath I took. Your speech really inspired me. 188 00:07:39,357 --> 00:07:40,816 Well, it was one of my better ones. 189 00:07:40,900 --> 00:07:42,610 Felt really good as I was saying it. Yeah. 190 00:07:42,694 --> 00:07:44,529 So, what's the plan, son? 191 00:07:44,613 --> 00:07:46,698 Well, Dad, we don't know where Flaco is, 192 00:07:46,782 --> 00:07:48,158 but I have a CI 193 00:07:48,242 --> 00:07:49,951 who says he's got an agreement with Marco Severino. 194 00:07:50,035 --> 00:07:51,996 So, you think we should pose as drug dealers 195 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:54,165 looking for a new heroin supplier, 196 00:07:54,249 --> 00:07:55,875 and get Severino to hook us up with Flaco? 197 00:07:55,959 --> 00:07:57,586 And you think C.J. can handle this mission. 198 00:07:57,670 --> 00:07:59,838 I know he's inexperienced, but he's a creative guy. 199 00:07:59,922 --> 00:08:01,572 I think he'd be great undercover. 200 00:08:02,258 --> 00:08:06,387 Okay, muchachos, let's roll up on these muchachos. 201 00:08:06,471 --> 00:08:09,307 Great start, and I love your double use of "muchachos." 202 00:08:09,433 --> 00:08:12,103 [CHUCKLES] Hey, it's C.J., by the way. 203 00:08:12,311 --> 00:08:13,855 -Ooh! -[LAMINATOR WHIRRING] 204 00:08:14,022 --> 00:08:18,402 That's a nice I am job. This one goes on the blog. 205 00:08:18,569 --> 00:08:19,611 -[CAMERA CLICKS] -[CLEARS THROAT] 206 00:08:19,695 --> 00:08:22,698 Hey, Sarge, what up, bro? "What up, bro?" 207 00:08:22,823 --> 00:08:24,367 You're laminating in here, aren't you? 208 00:08:24,451 --> 00:08:26,994 I'm sorry. I just love it so much. 209 00:08:27,078 --> 00:08:31,083 It's okay, I'm used to it. No one listens to me. I'm a lousy sergeant. 210 00:08:31,167 --> 00:08:34,503 What? No, don't say that. Why would you say that? 211 00:08:34,712 --> 00:08:37,339 If I tell you something, you promise not to tell anyone else? 212 00:08:37,423 --> 00:08:38,549 Of course. 213 00:08:38,633 --> 00:08:40,760 You know how I took the lieutenant's exam last week? 214 00:08:40,844 --> 00:08:42,720 Uh-huh. I just found out I didn't pass. 215 00:08:42,804 --> 00:08:45,933 Oh, no. [SIGHS] But you shouldn't feel bad. 216 00:08:46,017 --> 00:08:48,367 Only, like, 10% of people pass on the first try. 217 00:08:48,519 --> 00:08:51,231 I know, and I'm all exhausted because of the night shift. 218 00:08:51,315 --> 00:08:52,983 Plus, my bathroom break during the test 219 00:08:53,067 --> 00:08:54,776 took a little longer than anticipated. 220 00:08:54,860 --> 00:08:56,410 May I use the restroom, please? 221 00:08:58,656 --> 00:09:00,032 Uh-oh. Nothing to see here. 222 00:09:00,116 --> 00:09:02,035 Excuse me, I'm sorry. Little desk. 223 00:09:02,660 --> 00:09:05,873 That's why they say, "It's test time, so diaper up." 224 00:09:06,373 --> 00:09:07,791 They say that, I've never said that. 225 00:09:07,875 --> 00:09:09,209 [CHUCKLES] I've never worn a diaper during a test. 226 00:09:09,293 --> 00:09:11,294 Who would wear a diaper during a test? That's ridiculous… 227 00:09:11,378 --> 00:09:12,964 Santiago. Sorry. 228 00:09:13,048 --> 00:09:17,010 Look, don't give up on the green initiative. You're a great sergeant. 229 00:09:17,094 --> 00:09:18,804 You'll get everyone on board. Not Gina. 230 00:09:18,888 --> 00:09:19,972 Yes, Gina. 231 00:09:20,056 --> 00:09:24,352 You can handle her. You can do this. Sarge, it's test time. 232 00:09:25,229 --> 00:09:26,939 Diaper up. 233 00:09:27,064 --> 00:09:29,190 Thank you for coming along with me on this manhunt. 234 00:09:29,274 --> 00:09:31,276 I needed your help. No problem, who are we looking for? 235 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:34,405 He's a one-armed smuggler from the dunes of Tunisia. 236 00:09:34,489 --> 00:09:36,741 He goes by the name of Señor Riff Raff. 237 00:09:36,825 --> 00:09:38,452 You're taking me to that foot massage place. 238 00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:40,746 I am taking you to the foot massage place! 239 00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:42,414 I made that whole thing up. Shocking. 240 00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:45,048 Look, the night shift hasn't been easy on any of us. 241 00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:46,627 Let me make it slightly better 242 00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:48,261 by paying a strong-handed woman 243 00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:50,631 to literally milk the stress from your feet. 244 00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:53,552 Just shut up, I'll do it once. [GASPS] Yes! 245 00:09:53,636 --> 00:09:57,222 As long as you promise to never ever talk about foot milk again. 246 00:09:57,306 --> 00:09:58,640 Deal, you're going to love it. 247 00:09:58,724 --> 00:10:00,560 I guarantee you, I won't. 248 00:10:00,644 --> 00:10:02,271 [BOTH MOANING] 249 00:10:04,398 --> 00:10:08,153 All right, that's Severino's restaurant. My CI says he's in there. 250 00:10:08,319 --> 00:10:09,361 Whoo! I'm pumped. I'm ready. 251 00:10:09,445 --> 00:10:12,114 [STAMMERING] Just out of curiosity, how scared are you guys? 252 00:10:12,198 --> 00:10:14,451 Not at all. How about you? 253 00:10:14,535 --> 00:10:16,536 I'm terrified, but, you know, I just keep telling myself, 254 00:10:16,620 --> 00:10:18,497 worst comes to worst, just start shooting things, you know? 255 00:10:18,581 --> 00:10:20,333 I think it might be better if you stayed in the van. 256 00:10:20,417 --> 00:10:22,502 Wait, are you trying to sideline me? Yes. 257 00:10:22,586 --> 00:10:23,628 Oh, thank God. [LAUGHS] 258 00:10:23,712 --> 00:10:25,004 But just because you're in the van, 259 00:10:25,088 --> 00:10:26,757 doesn't mean you're not an important part of the mission. 260 00:10:26,841 --> 00:10:28,801 Your job will be to keep an eye on the restaurant. 261 00:10:28,885 --> 00:10:30,719 And, if anybody suspicious walks in, you just… 262 00:10:30,803 --> 00:10:32,262 Run everybody over with the van, 263 00:10:32,346 --> 00:10:33,598 and then back up if they're still moving. 264 00:10:33,682 --> 00:10:34,933 Don't try and guess where I'm going with it. 265 00:10:35,017 --> 00:10:36,101 You keep an eye on the door. 266 00:10:36,185 --> 00:10:38,686 If anyone suspicious walks in, let us know in our earpieces. 267 00:10:38,770 --> 00:10:39,980 Oh, I could do that, absolutely. 268 00:10:40,064 --> 00:10:42,108 You know, actually, I saw those earpieces on Ellen. 269 00:10:42,192 --> 00:10:43,609 One time, Justin Bieber was on, 270 00:10:43,693 --> 00:10:45,736 and he was supposed to be, like, a security guard… 271 00:10:45,820 --> 00:10:47,697 C.J., I'm loving the story, but we gotta go in. 272 00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:49,283 I'll finish later. TBC. 273 00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:52,912 Thanks for hand-laminating, Santiago. 274 00:10:52,996 --> 00:10:57,626 Of course. If you ask me, saving energy is trending. 275 00:10:58,460 --> 00:11:00,010 Oh, Gina, didn't see you there. 276 00:11:00,171 --> 00:11:02,381 Gina, did you shut off your space heater yet? 277 00:11:02,465 --> 00:11:04,049 Space heater… 278 00:11:04,133 --> 00:11:06,260 Doesn't ring any bells. Jacinta. 279 00:11:06,344 --> 00:11:07,846 Oh, no, she's still going strong. 280 00:11:07,930 --> 00:11:11,683 I will take that thing away from you by force, if necessary. 281 00:11:12,017 --> 00:11:13,645 Well, come and get it! 282 00:11:13,978 --> 00:11:16,564 Seriously? The heater's under your skirt? 283 00:11:16,648 --> 00:11:18,482 Maybe. You can't prove that. 284 00:11:18,566 --> 00:11:20,652 Yeah, I can. There's a cord running under it, 285 00:11:20,736 --> 00:11:23,155 and I think you may be on fire. 286 00:11:23,948 --> 00:11:25,532 Mmm. So? What do you mean "so"? 287 00:11:25,616 --> 00:11:27,827 I'm not giving up Jacinta. 288 00:11:27,911 --> 00:11:29,954 You are on fire, Gina. 289 00:11:30,038 --> 00:11:32,373 You do not have the upper hand in this situation. 290 00:11:32,457 --> 00:11:34,043 I always have the upper hand. 291 00:11:35,169 --> 00:11:37,337 Not when there's flames shooting out of your butt! 292 00:11:37,421 --> 00:11:40,842 Especially when there's flames shooting out of my butt! 293 00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,180 [SMOKE ALARM BEEPING] 294 00:11:48,309 --> 00:11:49,352 Damn it! 295 00:11:54,316 --> 00:11:56,235 How the hell did I lose that one? 296 00:11:56,568 --> 00:11:59,196 Hey, you Severino? Who wants to know? 297 00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:00,573 I'm Cal, this is Billy. 298 00:12:00,699 --> 00:12:01,824 We used to buy from Rosario, 299 00:12:01,908 --> 00:12:04,076 but he got busted by the feds, and we're looking for a new hook-up. 300 00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:05,453 C.J.: Guys, we got company. 301 00:12:05,537 --> 00:12:08,040 There's a lady with a dog, and a man with a ponytail. 302 00:12:08,124 --> 00:12:10,724 Another lady with a dog, two dogs back-to-back, guys. 303 00:12:10,876 --> 00:12:12,461 -[OVER RADIO] Is that fishy? -I knew Rosario. 304 00:12:12,545 --> 00:12:13,962 Seems fishy to me. There's a lot of dogs. 305 00:12:14,046 --> 00:12:15,340 So how's come I never heard of you? 306 00:12:15,424 --> 00:12:17,675 Well, you can ask Rosario's guys about us. 307 00:12:17,759 --> 00:12:20,511 If you think it's weird, just cough once for yes, twice for no. 308 00:12:20,595 --> 00:12:22,640 HOLT: I didn't come here to be accused of something. 309 00:12:22,724 --> 00:12:23,974 We can buy from somebody else. 310 00:12:24,058 --> 00:12:26,644 C.J.: Jake, I need an answer, why is nobody coughing? 311 00:12:26,728 --> 00:12:29,648 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up, I got a right to know who I might be in business with. 312 00:12:29,732 --> 00:12:31,816 I need an answer on the dog thing, is it weird? 313 00:12:31,900 --> 00:12:33,485 -Can somebody cough? -[COUGHS TWICE] 314 00:12:33,569 --> 00:12:35,029 Whose cough was that? Was that you, Jake? 315 00:12:35,113 --> 00:12:38,699 If it was you, cough twice, if it was somebody else, cough three times. 316 00:12:38,783 --> 00:12:42,287 [COUGHS TWICE] Sorry, bad allergy day, pollen count is off the charts. 317 00:12:42,371 --> 00:12:45,707 [LAUGHING] "Pollen count"! Oh, man, how do you come up with that stuff? 318 00:12:45,791 --> 00:12:47,501 So what's your territory? That's why you guys are in there, 319 00:12:47,585 --> 00:12:49,003 and I'm out here… We don't sell on the streets. 320 00:12:49,087 --> 00:12:50,338 We have loyal buyers that come to us. 321 00:12:50,422 --> 00:12:52,006 …on the mic. And we need quality product, 322 00:12:52,090 --> 00:12:53,841 our customers are discerning. Check one, check two. 323 00:12:53,925 --> 00:12:55,762 Check DJ C.J. on the mic. 324 00:12:55,887 --> 00:12:58,890 I got a guy that can get you the best dope in the city. 325 00:12:59,098 --> 00:13:00,266 But it ain't going to be cheap. 326 00:13:00,350 --> 00:13:02,519 Apparently, there's such a thing as too much Smash Mouth. 327 00:13:02,603 --> 00:13:05,021 I'm sorry, you think we want to deal with complete strangers? 328 00:13:05,105 --> 00:13:07,315 Got two kids, beautiful house… We gotta cover our own asses. 329 00:13:07,399 --> 00:13:09,694 How do we know this guy's even legit? 330 00:13:09,778 --> 00:13:11,028 Shut up! Stop talking! 331 00:13:11,112 --> 00:13:12,446 Shut up, now! Oh, my God! 332 00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:14,407 Shut up, C.J.! 333 00:13:14,491 --> 00:13:15,993 Whoa, whoa! What are you, cops? 334 00:13:16,077 --> 00:13:17,202 Yes, obviously, we're cops. 335 00:13:17,286 --> 00:13:18,537 Put your hands up. 336 00:13:18,621 --> 00:13:21,331 Whoa, who said we were cops? We haven't gotten the information we needed yet. 337 00:13:21,415 --> 00:13:23,042 Jake, you're blowing it, man. 338 00:13:23,126 --> 00:13:25,921 [YELLS] Stop talking! 339 00:13:28,423 --> 00:13:30,259 Crime scene investigators combed every inch 340 00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:31,844 of Severino's restaurant, no drugs. 341 00:13:31,928 --> 00:13:33,929 Well, we can't hold him much longer, and he's not talking. 342 00:13:34,013 --> 00:13:36,308 The interrogation did not exactly go well. 343 00:13:36,475 --> 00:13:37,892 You're going to tell us who Flaco is, 344 00:13:37,976 --> 00:13:40,126 and you're going to tell us right now. Whoa! 345 00:13:40,229 --> 00:13:42,022 That was crazy. 346 00:13:42,565 --> 00:13:43,691 Well, there's one bit of good news. 347 00:13:43,775 --> 00:13:45,276 The last call on Severino's phone 348 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:47,153 was to a contact we believe to be Flaco. 349 00:13:47,237 --> 00:13:49,281 We've tracked his location to a warehouse by the water. 350 00:13:49,365 --> 00:13:50,532 We're going to storm the place. 351 00:13:50,616 --> 00:13:52,451 Great, I'll go get C.J. 352 00:13:52,535 --> 00:13:54,244 Why? Why are you so determined 353 00:13:54,328 --> 00:13:55,913 to make him a part of this? No reason. 354 00:13:55,997 --> 00:13:58,916 If you actually cared about your sacred oath, 355 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,460 you'd see that he's a risk to the case. 356 00:14:00,544 --> 00:14:01,586 [CHUCKLES] 357 00:14:01,878 --> 00:14:03,047 Oh… 358 00:14:03,923 --> 00:14:06,173 My speech didn't actually inspire you, did it? 359 00:14:06,426 --> 00:14:08,511 [SIGHS] All right, here's the truth. 360 00:14:08,678 --> 00:14:11,431 If we catch Flaco, and C.J. gets credit for it, 361 00:14:11,515 --> 00:14:13,224 he's going to transfer out of the Nine-Nine. 362 00:14:13,308 --> 00:14:14,392 That's what this is all about? 363 00:14:14,476 --> 00:14:15,811 You're still trying to undermine the man? 364 00:14:15,895 --> 00:14:17,772 What? No! The opposite, if anything. 365 00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:20,358 I want to see him succeed. I'm trying to overmine him. 366 00:14:20,442 --> 00:14:22,276 Oh, you know I hate it when you make up words, Peralta. 367 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:23,695 Are you still mad at me for saying "snaccident"? 368 00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:24,821 Yes, very. 369 00:14:24,905 --> 00:14:26,156 Please, just let him come along. No. 370 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:28,325 Just so his name is on the arrest report. No. 371 00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:30,159 I'll put him in a car a block away. 372 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,289 Fine. 373 00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:35,875 At least tell me what it was about my speech that didn't work for you. 374 00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:39,338 [SIGHS] Oh, man, if I had to boil it down to one thing and really pinpoint it, 375 00:14:39,422 --> 00:14:43,719 I guess I would just say it's… You're boring. But still let him come? Great. 376 00:14:45,053 --> 00:14:46,221 What is all this? 377 00:14:46,305 --> 00:14:48,890 Oh, hey, Sarge. I'm growing tropical plants now 378 00:14:48,974 --> 00:14:51,686 in the warmth of my three space heaters. 379 00:14:51,811 --> 00:14:54,188 It's getting a little hot, though, wouldn't you say? Oh! 380 00:14:54,272 --> 00:14:55,314 Oh, yeah. 381 00:14:55,398 --> 00:14:57,984 Probably also turn on my portable air conditioning unit. 382 00:14:58,068 --> 00:14:59,152 -[EXCLAIMS] -[AC BEEPS ON] 383 00:14:59,236 --> 00:15:02,948 You're not going to beat me, Gina. This is my last stand. 384 00:15:03,032 --> 00:15:05,410 My whole life is last stands! 385 00:15:05,785 --> 00:15:08,455 Gina, can I talk to you for a second? Yeah, what's up? 386 00:15:10,416 --> 00:15:12,501 Let me guess, you and Jake are having problems, 387 00:15:12,585 --> 00:15:13,836 you want me to teach you how to kiss? 388 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:17,633 What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss, I've read books. 389 00:15:17,758 --> 00:15:20,635 This is about Terry. You can't tell anyone else this, but… 390 00:15:20,719 --> 00:15:23,221 He failed his lieutenant's exam. How do you know that? 391 00:15:23,305 --> 00:15:27,059 Let's just say my little birds are everywhere collecting whispers. 392 00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:29,103 He left the letter on his desk, and I read it. 393 00:15:29,187 --> 00:15:30,814 Okay, but if you know he's depressed, 394 00:15:30,898 --> 00:15:32,190 then why are you being so hard on him? 395 00:15:32,274 --> 00:15:33,400 Don't worry, I got this. 396 00:15:33,484 --> 00:15:34,777 Just clear the lane 397 00:15:34,902 --> 00:15:37,071 and let Gina do her thing. What? 398 00:15:37,155 --> 00:15:38,615 -[SIGHS] -[DOOR CLOSES] 399 00:15:40,325 --> 00:15:41,576 Gina? You locked me in. 400 00:15:41,660 --> 00:15:43,411 Going to lunch. 401 00:15:43,537 --> 00:15:45,957 Gina, you know I'm very claustrophobic. 402 00:15:46,916 --> 00:15:48,917 Everybody ready? Where's C.J.? 403 00:15:49,001 --> 00:15:51,201 Parked a block away on Winthrop, as promised. 404 00:15:51,338 --> 00:15:52,505 Don't worry, he's not going anywhere. 405 00:15:52,589 --> 00:15:54,007 I downloaded an app on his phone 406 00:15:54,091 --> 00:15:55,550 that makes your words sound like burps. 407 00:15:55,634 --> 00:15:57,511 Smart, really smart. Yeah. 408 00:15:57,595 --> 00:16:00,765 Here we go, on three, two, one… 409 00:16:01,891 --> 00:16:04,228 NYPD, on the ground. On the ground! 410 00:16:04,770 --> 00:16:06,021 Flaco, run! 411 00:16:06,689 --> 00:16:07,731 That's Flaco. 412 00:16:12,487 --> 00:16:13,822 It's locked, go back. 413 00:16:14,531 --> 00:16:15,615 [PANTING] 414 00:16:22,081 --> 00:16:23,291 [GRUNTS] 415 00:16:23,833 --> 00:16:25,252 Oh, sorry. 416 00:16:25,377 --> 00:16:27,587 C.J., that's Flaco. You got him. 417 00:16:27,671 --> 00:16:28,714 Yeah! 418 00:16:28,839 --> 00:16:30,340 He's out cold, how'd you do it? 419 00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:32,218 No, no, wait. Let me guess. 420 00:16:32,302 --> 00:16:33,969 You opened your car door into him. Yep. 421 00:16:34,053 --> 00:16:35,304 He never saw it coming. [LAUGHS] Yep. 422 00:16:35,388 --> 00:16:36,805 And neither did you. It was a total accident. 423 00:16:36,889 --> 00:16:39,309 You were getting out of your car to go pee. No! 424 00:16:39,393 --> 00:16:41,102 There was a spider in the car, and I panicked. 425 00:16:41,186 --> 00:16:42,521 Damn it, how did I not guess that? 426 00:16:42,605 --> 00:16:44,655 You gotta see this spider. It's gigantic. 427 00:16:45,233 --> 00:16:47,444 Charles, this is amazing. 428 00:16:47,569 --> 00:16:50,488 I know. When's the last time you cried like that? 429 00:16:50,614 --> 00:16:52,314 Huh? You cried? Damn right, I did. 430 00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:54,933 Well, I guess we gotta get back to the Nine-Nine. 431 00:16:55,328 --> 00:16:56,745 Let's not be hasty. 432 00:16:56,829 --> 00:17:00,166 Neither of us have any open cases right now, 433 00:17:00,250 --> 00:17:04,337 so should we tell the ladies we're ready for round two? 434 00:17:04,421 --> 00:17:07,717 Let's do it, you insatiable little minx. I'll go get 'em. 435 00:17:08,009 --> 00:17:09,052 Mmm. 436 00:17:14,850 --> 00:17:17,644 Charles, this place is a front, money laundering or something. 437 00:17:17,728 --> 00:17:19,478 We gotta get out of here right now. 438 00:17:19,648 --> 00:17:22,567 I just got off the phone with One Police Plaza. They're thrilled. 439 00:17:22,651 --> 00:17:24,527 Captain Stentley, you got your transfer. 440 00:17:24,611 --> 00:17:26,572 I'm not transferring. Whoo! What, why? 441 00:17:26,697 --> 00:17:28,657 The whole reason I wanted to transfer in the first place 442 00:17:28,741 --> 00:17:30,784 is because I didn't feel like I could do this job, 443 00:17:30,868 --> 00:17:33,705 but the mission tonight, me taking down Flaco… 444 00:17:33,789 --> 00:17:34,789 More the door than you. 445 00:17:34,873 --> 00:17:36,624 It just showed me that I can do this, 446 00:17:36,708 --> 00:17:39,461 and now I feel like I really do belong here. 447 00:17:39,545 --> 00:17:42,423 So, thank you, guys, 448 00:17:42,632 --> 00:17:44,926 for making me believe in myself again. Oh… 449 00:17:45,385 --> 00:17:46,428 Come here. 450 00:17:47,805 --> 00:17:49,255 That's going to leave a mark. 451 00:17:51,016 --> 00:17:53,811 I can't believe this. Not only are we still stuck on the night shift, 452 00:17:53,895 --> 00:17:55,945 but now we have to watch C.J. get a medal? 453 00:17:56,398 --> 00:17:59,109 Why are there so many reporters? Even The Times is here. 454 00:17:59,193 --> 00:18:01,528 Wait, really? Who'd they send? 455 00:18:01,612 --> 00:18:04,990 Wilson, Palmer, Schneier, Levine, Rogers, Tyler, Baker, 456 00:18:05,074 --> 00:18:07,327 Correal, Bromwich, Robbins, Schmidt? 457 00:18:07,411 --> 00:18:09,787 Stop saying reporters' names. How do you know so many names? 458 00:18:09,871 --> 00:18:11,956 They're the only real rock stars we have left. Okay. 459 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:14,668 Hello, we're here today to honor Captain Jason Stentley, 460 00:18:14,752 --> 00:18:17,880 who single-handedly brought down a major drug ring. 461 00:18:18,047 --> 00:18:20,384 And so, it is my pleasure to bestow upon him 462 00:18:20,551 --> 00:18:22,761 the Medal of Honor. Captain Stentley. 463 00:18:23,011 --> 00:18:24,930 Oh, bestow me, baby. 464 00:18:25,764 --> 00:18:27,308 Oh, wow! 465 00:18:27,392 --> 00:18:28,560 That's a lot of people. 466 00:18:28,685 --> 00:18:29,728 Uh… 467 00:18:30,103 --> 00:18:32,439 Baba Booey, Cornholio. 468 00:18:32,564 --> 00:18:34,066 [LAUGHING] 469 00:18:35,025 --> 00:18:38,362 That's it for my prepared remarks. Any questions? 470 00:18:38,446 --> 00:18:40,782 Will taking down one drug dealer make a big difference 471 00:18:40,866 --> 00:18:42,867 in the overall level of drugs moving into the city? 472 00:18:42,951 --> 00:18:44,077 No idea, next? 473 00:18:44,161 --> 00:18:47,039 What's your philosophy for dealing with international narcotic supply chains? 474 00:18:47,123 --> 00:18:48,540 Didn't understand the question, next. 475 00:18:48,624 --> 00:18:51,126 Why was Flaco targeted for this operation? 476 00:18:51,210 --> 00:18:53,505 Okay, there's a question I can answer. 477 00:18:53,630 --> 00:18:58,176 Uh, well, it all started because I lost a huge bag of cocaine, 478 00:18:58,260 --> 00:18:59,636 so I totally biffed it… 479 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:00,888 Thank you, thank you, Captain. 480 00:19:00,972 --> 00:19:01,972 -[REPORTERS CLAMORING] -C.J.: Oh. 481 00:19:02,056 --> 00:19:03,224 That… That is… That's plenty. 482 00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:04,642 That was a train wreck. 483 00:19:04,726 --> 00:19:06,728 Yes, he never should have been put in that position. 484 00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:08,313 Whoever recommended him for the medal 485 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:12,901 and called all those reporters really messed up. 486 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,935 Wait, what are you saying? Oh, nothing. 487 00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:16,990 It just seems as if C.J. has been… 488 00:19:18,533 --> 00:19:19,575 Overmined. 489 00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:20,703 You did this? I did. 490 00:19:20,787 --> 00:19:21,912 And you used my made-up word. 491 00:19:21,996 --> 00:19:23,956 I hated it. "Overmined." 492 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:27,377 [SIGHS] What have I become? Was this whole thing even worth it? 493 00:19:27,461 --> 00:19:29,213 It was no snaccident. 494 00:19:31,089 --> 00:19:34,343 So, the foot massage place reported $7 million in profit last year. 495 00:19:34,427 --> 00:19:37,179 To make that much, they'd have to massage 100 feet an hour, 496 00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:40,558 24 hours a day, seven days a week for the entire year. 497 00:19:40,643 --> 00:19:42,018 Damn it, we have to shut them down. 498 00:19:42,102 --> 00:19:44,438 Wait. Let's not be hasty about this. 499 00:19:44,522 --> 00:19:46,481 Let's think this through. We want to be smart about this. 500 00:19:46,565 --> 00:19:48,985 Right, I mean, what if we bust them tonight, 501 00:19:49,110 --> 00:19:51,946 and then tomorrow, I'm chasing a murderer, I'm about to get him, 502 00:19:52,030 --> 00:19:53,865 and my foot cramps up? Due to lack of massaging. 503 00:19:53,949 --> 00:19:54,950 Then the murderer gets away. 504 00:19:55,034 --> 00:19:56,869 Know who he kills next? The mayor. 505 00:19:56,953 --> 00:19:58,829 Oh, my God, the city has no mayor now. It's chaos. 506 00:19:58,913 --> 00:20:00,456 Rioting, looting, panic in the streets. 507 00:20:00,540 --> 00:20:01,833 They gotta call in the National Guard, 508 00:20:01,917 --> 00:20:03,168 there's tanks rolling down 5th Avenue, 509 00:20:03,252 --> 00:20:04,753 declaring martial law. It's insane. 510 00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:06,546 All because we shut down a foot massage place… 511 00:20:06,630 --> 00:20:08,007 That was doing God's work. 512 00:20:08,091 --> 00:20:09,842 What were we thinking? So, it's agreed, 513 00:20:09,926 --> 00:20:14,305 we let them stay open for the sake of the city. 514 00:20:15,933 --> 00:20:17,350 We have to do our stupid jobs, don't we? 515 00:20:17,434 --> 00:20:19,562 Yeah, let me get my stupid gun. 516 00:20:19,979 --> 00:20:22,148 NYPD, get down on the comfortable matted floor. 517 00:20:22,232 --> 00:20:23,483 Put your magical hands where we can see them. 518 00:20:23,567 --> 00:20:25,693 You're under arrest for ruining something perfect. 519 00:20:25,777 --> 00:20:26,819 [WHISPERS] And money laundering. 520 00:20:26,903 --> 00:20:28,503 Yes, money laundering, whatever! 521 00:20:29,115 --> 00:20:32,284 Gina, I've been thinking a lot about how you refuse to give up Jacinta. 522 00:20:32,368 --> 00:20:34,369 That's right. She's never leaving. 523 00:20:34,453 --> 00:20:37,332 I know, which is why I decided to do the only fair thing. 524 00:20:37,499 --> 00:20:39,375 Space heaters for everyone. 525 00:20:39,459 --> 00:20:40,710 So, what? That sounds great. 526 00:20:40,794 --> 00:20:43,131 Everyone. 527 00:20:43,756 --> 00:20:45,341 Ooh-wee, it's toasty in here. 528 00:20:45,884 --> 00:20:48,720 You're going to be looking at that all night long. 529 00:20:48,804 --> 00:20:53,100 Whoa! I think he's about to eat a hoagie. Is that mayonnaise or sweat? 530 00:20:53,267 --> 00:20:55,561 Oh, fine, I give up! You can take Jacinta. 531 00:20:55,645 --> 00:20:58,148 Really? And the other two space heaters, too? 532 00:20:58,273 --> 00:20:59,690 [GROANS] All of them, you win. 533 00:20:59,774 --> 00:21:01,401 I win? I won? 534 00:21:02,403 --> 00:21:04,446 Amy, I won! You did it, Sarge. 535 00:21:04,530 --> 00:21:06,114 You're going to get our power usage down. 536 00:21:06,198 --> 00:21:09,703 I don't care about that crap. I took down Gina Linetti. 537 00:21:09,828 --> 00:21:13,749 I did the impossible. Terry is back on top! 538 00:21:13,957 --> 00:21:15,751 Diaper up! What! 539 00:21:15,835 --> 00:21:17,003 Ladies and gentlemen, 540 00:21:17,128 --> 00:21:19,589 Captain Jason Stentley has been transferred 541 00:21:19,714 --> 00:21:21,465 from active duty effective immediately. 542 00:21:21,549 --> 00:21:24,594 Captain Raymond Holt will be taking his place, 543 00:21:24,678 --> 00:21:27,013 and, yes, he's taking all of us with him. 544 00:21:27,097 --> 00:21:28,390 You mean… Yes, Amy. 545 00:21:28,474 --> 00:21:29,934 We're back on the day shift! 546 00:21:30,018 --> 00:21:31,435 [GASPS] Nine-Nine! 547 00:21:31,519 --> 00:21:32,687 ALL: Nine-Nine! 548 00:21:32,771 --> 00:21:34,689 ♪ Come on and party tonight ♪