1 00:00:02,218 --> 00:00:03,260 [GRUNTS] 2 00:00:03,344 --> 00:00:07,305 Hey, everyone. Sorry I'm late. So, what's this secret meeting all about? 3 00:00:07,389 --> 00:00:09,557 You guys know I'm not medically cleared for another week. 4 00:00:09,641 --> 00:00:13,394 It's not a secret meeting, Jake. It's an intervention. 5 00:00:13,478 --> 00:00:14,770 The tips have to go. 6 00:00:14,937 --> 00:00:16,188 What? Why? 7 00:00:16,272 --> 00:00:19,066 Jake, we're worried about you, and you look very stupid. 8 00:00:19,150 --> 00:00:21,944 Come on, guys. I think they're cool, retro. 9 00:00:22,153 --> 00:00:23,235 No, they're terrible. 10 00:00:23,319 --> 00:00:25,154 Amy, come on. You're digging the tips, right? 11 00:00:25,238 --> 00:00:27,239 No. I feel like I'm kissing Vanilla Ice. 12 00:00:27,323 --> 00:00:28,908 There was a time you would've jumped at that chance. 13 00:00:28,992 --> 00:00:30,034 They have to go. 14 00:00:30,118 --> 00:00:33,411 All right, you guys got me. I did it as a joke. 15 00:00:33,495 --> 00:00:35,261 I kept them ironically. Pretty funny, right? 16 00:00:35,345 --> 00:00:37,495 [LAUGHS] I'm just going to head out. 17 00:00:37,791 --> 00:00:38,959 GINA: Get him! No! 18 00:00:39,293 --> 00:00:40,794 [GRUNTS] Ah! 19 00:00:40,961 --> 00:00:42,295 Yes, Terry! 20 00:00:45,465 --> 00:00:47,925 Okay, okay. Wait, wait, okay, okay. Stop, stop. 21 00:00:48,301 --> 00:00:51,303 I'll admit it. I went too deep down there in Florida. 22 00:00:51,970 --> 00:00:55,473 At one point, I think I forgot where the tip of me ended, 23 00:00:55,557 --> 00:00:57,100 and the base of the tips began. 24 00:00:57,184 --> 00:01:01,728 Before we just chop them off, would anybody like to say some final words? 25 00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:02,979 No. That was one word. That counts. 26 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,713 Thank you, Rosa. Okay, I'm ready. 27 00:01:05,316 --> 00:01:07,901 Sorry I'm late, everyone, but trust me, it's worth it. 28 00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:10,153 Me and Jake are tip buds. 29 00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:12,363 What? No! 30 00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:13,948 No! 31 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,035 You know what, I do see it. It's bad. It looks bad. 32 00:01:19,119 --> 00:01:21,121 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 33 00:01:39,471 --> 00:01:43,141 Brace yourselves 'cause Jakey is back. 34 00:01:43,391 --> 00:01:44,434 [EXCLAIMS] 35 00:01:45,559 --> 00:01:46,893 Don't everybody mob me at once. 36 00:01:46,977 --> 00:01:48,527 We can high-five one at a time. 37 00:01:50,105 --> 00:01:51,940 PERALTA: Oh, I see. No response. 38 00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:53,567 A little "Welcome back to the precinct" hazing. 39 00:01:53,651 --> 00:01:55,701 Who's behind this cute little prank? Diaz? 40 00:01:55,819 --> 00:01:56,902 Kill yourself. Okay. 41 00:01:56,986 --> 00:01:59,864 I told you. Night shift has everyone a little down. 42 00:01:59,948 --> 00:02:01,782 Yeah, just because you don't get to sleep, 43 00:02:01,866 --> 00:02:03,700 or see your loved ones, or feel the sun, 44 00:02:03,784 --> 00:02:06,084 or do anything that brings you joy. That's all. 45 00:02:06,203 --> 00:02:07,704 GINA: I personally like the night shift. 46 00:02:07,788 --> 00:02:09,414 You know who else is up right now? 47 00:02:09,498 --> 00:02:10,999 Murderers? Armed robbers? 48 00:02:11,083 --> 00:02:15,919 [MOCK ACCENT] Australians. It's a whole new demographic for me to conquer. 49 00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:18,881 [NORMAL VOICE] I already have the third most followers behind Iggy Azalea 50 00:02:18,965 --> 00:02:20,507 and the Perth Zoo wallaby cam. 51 00:02:20,591 --> 00:02:21,676 That's pretty good. 52 00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:24,344 It's not just good, Jake. It's boozer. 53 00:02:24,469 --> 00:02:26,596 Night shift is boring. Listen to the cases I've had. 54 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:30,016 "Drunk and disorderly, drunk and disorderly, cybercrime." 55 00:02:30,183 --> 00:02:31,600 Oh. Cybercrime. Pretty cool. 56 00:02:31,684 --> 00:02:34,519 Caught a drunk guy humping a laptop. Well, we've all been there. 57 00:02:34,603 --> 00:02:37,147 But my point is this, I don't care what time it is, 58 00:02:37,356 --> 00:02:39,065 I'm always happy to be here. 59 00:02:39,149 --> 00:02:41,776 Nine-Nine! 60 00:02:42,902 --> 00:02:45,697 Nine-Nine! 61 00:02:46,865 --> 00:02:49,491 Noine-Noine! I'm going to keep doing it until you guys chime in. 62 00:02:49,575 --> 00:02:51,242 Noine-Noine! 63 00:02:51,326 --> 00:02:53,787 Sergeant Jeffords, a word. 64 00:02:53,871 --> 00:02:55,538 What is wrong with everyone? 65 00:02:55,622 --> 00:02:59,082 I'm worried our night shift morale problem has gotten worse. 66 00:02:59,166 --> 00:03:03,170 Yeah, you think? I'm sorry. I'm exhausted. 67 00:03:03,254 --> 00:03:04,838 My wife says, when I get tired, 68 00:03:04,922 --> 00:03:06,799 I get night sassy. "Night sassy"? 69 00:03:06,883 --> 00:03:09,217 Hearing problems, much? Sorry. 70 00:03:09,301 --> 00:03:12,345 Should I just go tell everyone to buck up and do their jobs? 71 00:03:12,429 --> 00:03:13,805 No, the squad's only on night shift 72 00:03:13,889 --> 00:03:15,139 because they came down to Florida 73 00:03:15,223 --> 00:03:16,391 to save Jake and me. 74 00:03:16,724 --> 00:03:18,391 It's my responsibility to fix this. 75 00:03:18,475 --> 00:03:21,604 I'm going to brighten the mood by telling a few jokes. 76 00:03:21,812 --> 00:03:23,230 Try this one on for size. 77 00:03:23,898 --> 00:03:25,399 I don't care for cheese. 78 00:03:26,482 --> 00:03:29,527 I'm a "curd"mudgeon. 79 00:03:31,529 --> 00:03:35,532 Well, you're too tired for humor. 80 00:03:35,866 --> 00:03:37,075 If he isn't taking his medicine, 81 00:03:37,159 --> 00:03:38,451 you could mix it in with his food. 82 00:03:38,535 --> 00:03:41,162 Sorry, you can deal with your sick dog later, Boyle. 83 00:03:41,246 --> 00:03:43,373 Well, actually, that was about my son, Nikolaj. 84 00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:44,498 He's got allergies. 85 00:03:44,582 --> 00:03:46,250 I think we may have to go with a nasal douche. 86 00:03:46,334 --> 00:03:48,502 Ah, nasal douche. Cool, cool, cool. Very gross. 87 00:03:48,586 --> 00:03:51,171 Anyways, I'm back to being a cop. It's all I've thought about 88 00:03:51,255 --> 00:03:52,798 for the last six months. Hurtful. 89 00:03:52,882 --> 00:03:56,342 But I won't be fully back until I've solved a case, just like old times. 90 00:03:56,426 --> 00:03:58,553 And I can't do that without my partner. 91 00:03:58,637 --> 00:04:01,222 You're not solving any cases on the night shift. 92 00:04:01,306 --> 00:04:02,347 Lohank? 93 00:04:02,431 --> 00:04:04,057 Oh, my God, you look… Beautiful? 94 00:04:04,141 --> 00:04:05,517 I was going to say "less sad." 95 00:04:05,601 --> 00:04:08,019 Ever since I moved to the day shift, I'm happier, healthier, 96 00:04:08,103 --> 00:04:09,938 my stepson gave me my debit card back. 97 00:04:10,022 --> 00:04:13,190 Lohank is happy and confident? Everything's off. Oh, no. 98 00:04:13,274 --> 00:04:15,224 We're in the Upside Down. That's right. 99 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,069 I'm going to tell you the same thing they told me 100 00:04:17,153 --> 00:04:18,445 when they removed my testicle, 101 00:04:18,529 --> 00:04:20,697 "Welcome to your new life." 102 00:04:20,781 --> 00:04:23,116 No, I'm not going to let the night shift win. 103 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:24,993 Me and my main man, Boyle, are about to solve a case. 104 00:04:25,077 --> 00:04:26,244 Isn't that right, Charles? 105 00:04:26,328 --> 00:04:27,453 You know we will. 106 00:04:27,537 --> 00:04:29,456 We'll call ourselves "The Night Boys." 107 00:04:29,622 --> 00:04:31,540 Kind of sounds like a male escort service. 108 00:04:31,624 --> 00:04:33,041 The Midnight Men. Even worse. 109 00:04:33,125 --> 00:04:34,376 The Dark Stallions. 110 00:04:34,460 --> 00:04:36,660 Looks like we're going with "The Night Boys"! 111 00:04:38,089 --> 00:04:39,297 I can't believe I'm going to say this, 112 00:04:39,381 --> 00:04:42,300 but the night shift is taking all the fun out of paperwork. Mmm-hmm. 113 00:04:42,384 --> 00:04:44,218 At least we're getting to spend quality time together. 114 00:04:44,302 --> 00:04:45,678 Totally. I'll be back in 40 minutes. 115 00:04:45,762 --> 00:04:48,346 What? Where are you going? We have to finish this by morning. 116 00:04:48,430 --> 00:04:50,932 Yeah, I know. I just have something important I have to do. 117 00:04:51,016 --> 00:04:52,059 What? 118 00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:54,144 I have to get 119 00:04:55,145 --> 00:04:56,187 some pens. 120 00:04:56,271 --> 00:04:57,813 Then why are you putting your jacket on? 121 00:04:57,897 --> 00:04:58,939 Pen store's a block away. 122 00:04:59,023 --> 00:05:01,191 The nearest pen store is seven blocks away, 123 00:05:01,275 --> 00:05:04,487 and it doesn't open until 9 a.m. I learned that the hard way. 124 00:05:04,904 --> 00:05:06,154 You really think you can lie to me? 125 00:05:06,238 --> 00:05:07,489 No. 126 00:05:07,656 --> 00:05:09,741 You're lying to me right now! You do think you can lie to me. 127 00:05:09,825 --> 00:05:12,076 Yep. Wait. Hang on. 128 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:15,538 Was that a lie? I don't know, maybe. All right, see you. 129 00:05:16,706 --> 00:05:20,751 Our first case. Tasty little B&E, just what the doctor ordered. 130 00:05:20,835 --> 00:05:23,670 Not actually. She recommended another week of bed rest. 131 00:05:23,754 --> 00:05:25,296 I was like, "Whatever, dorkus." 132 00:05:25,380 --> 00:05:26,422 [LAUGHING] 133 00:05:26,506 --> 00:05:29,009 Check it out. Ducking under police tape. 134 00:05:29,259 --> 00:05:30,468 I missed this. 135 00:05:31,469 --> 00:05:32,512 [EXCLAIMS] 136 00:05:32,804 --> 00:05:34,680 Charles. I got it. 137 00:05:34,847 --> 00:05:36,723 Yes, on it, on it, Jakey. Got it. 138 00:05:36,807 --> 00:05:37,933 What do we got? 139 00:05:38,017 --> 00:05:40,352 Back window's broken, two sets of sneaker prints, 140 00:05:40,436 --> 00:05:43,938 alarm went off at 11:43, and security arrived at 11:46. 141 00:05:44,022 --> 00:05:45,064 Perps were already gone. 142 00:05:45,148 --> 00:05:49,027 Okay, I'm thinking classic us. I'm thinking old times. 143 00:05:49,193 --> 00:05:50,235 I'm thinking… 144 00:05:50,319 --> 00:05:52,612 Riggity-riggity role-players! Riggity-riggity role-players! 145 00:05:52,696 --> 00:05:55,907 Yes! Okay, I'm Jacques Guillaume, and you are Henri Renault. 146 00:05:55,991 --> 00:05:57,951 We are cat burglars on vacation from France. 147 00:05:58,035 --> 00:06:01,119 I love it. Although, Henri went to an elite international school, 148 00:06:01,203 --> 00:06:02,496 so he does not speak with an accent. 149 00:06:02,580 --> 00:06:04,039 Nice way to flesh out the characters. 150 00:06:04,123 --> 00:06:06,333 Thank you. Okay, so, I break the back window, 151 00:06:06,417 --> 00:06:07,960 make my way over to the jewelry case. 152 00:06:08,044 --> 00:06:09,670 Meanwhile, you're standing lookout… 153 00:06:09,754 --> 00:06:10,754 Oui, oui. 154 00:06:10,879 --> 00:06:13,965 …by the front door, smoking a cigarette. 155 00:06:14,049 --> 00:06:15,216 Check it. Ash. 156 00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:18,427 Oh la la! Okay, so, I am smoking. 157 00:06:18,511 --> 00:06:20,470 What are you doing? 158 00:06:20,554 --> 00:06:22,472 Jacques rolls his own cigarettes, 159 00:06:22,556 --> 00:06:24,975 a habit he picked up from a prostitute in Marseille, 160 00:06:25,059 --> 00:06:26,893 but that is not all he picked up. 161 00:06:26,977 --> 00:06:28,435 Why do all your characters get STDs? 162 00:06:28,519 --> 00:06:29,937 Because they're living life! 163 00:06:30,021 --> 00:06:33,482 All right, so, I go to the first case, smash, steal a bunch of watches. 164 00:06:33,566 --> 00:06:36,151 Move over to the second case, smash, bracelets. 165 00:06:36,235 --> 00:06:37,652 But then, we hear a sound, and… 166 00:06:37,736 --> 00:06:40,071 I yell, "Les gendarmes! Ils sont ici!" 167 00:06:40,155 --> 00:06:41,197 And I know what that means because I'm French, 168 00:06:41,281 --> 00:06:43,157 but I ask you to repeat it in English, just to be sure. 169 00:06:43,241 --> 00:06:45,076 "Police are here!" Yes. We gotta get outta here, 170 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,410 so we turn to leave, you flick your cigarette. 171 00:06:47,703 --> 00:06:50,831 Using the cane, using the cane, this is awesome… 172 00:06:50,915 --> 00:06:52,541 Voilà! Ze butt. 173 00:06:52,666 --> 00:06:54,334 I thought Henri didn't have an accent. 174 00:06:54,418 --> 00:06:55,960 It comes out when he gets excited. 175 00:06:56,044 --> 00:06:57,212 Great news, everyone. 176 00:06:57,337 --> 00:07:00,631 We just got our first lead on our first case on my first night back, 177 00:07:00,715 --> 00:07:04,302 proving once and for all that absolutely nothing has changed. 178 00:07:04,552 --> 00:07:05,594 [GRUNTS] 179 00:07:06,345 --> 00:07:09,264 Yeah, this opens in instead of out now. They switched it a month ago. 180 00:07:09,348 --> 00:07:11,934 Yeah, so, the door changed, sure, but that's it! 181 00:07:14,519 --> 00:07:17,521 Well, we have got ourselves a case and a key piece of evidence. 182 00:07:17,605 --> 00:07:19,606 We should be wrapping this thing up in no time. 183 00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:21,340 As long as we do it before sunup. 184 00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:23,443 As soon as the shift is over, I kind of have to get home. 185 00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:25,903 But we're going to work it till it's done, right? That's how we do it. 186 00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:27,405 Yeah, I just like to be home 187 00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:29,615 as soon as Nikolaj wakes up, so I can make him breakfast. 188 00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:32,367 Sure, yeah, not a problem. We'll be home by sunup. 189 00:07:32,451 --> 00:07:35,579 Just like a couple of sexy Twilight vampires. 190 00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:38,290 "I am Robert Pattinson. I vant to turn into a bat." 191 00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:40,125 I've never seen the movies. No, me neither. 192 00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:42,084 They're an insult to the books. Okay. 193 00:07:42,168 --> 00:07:45,463 Crank up the tunes, Boyle. The Night Boys need an anthem. 194 00:07:45,547 --> 00:07:47,339 Something dark, something tough, 195 00:07:47,423 --> 00:07:48,466 something… I already got it. 196 00:07:48,550 --> 00:07:51,384 All night long 197 00:07:51,468 --> 00:07:56,389 You know what? I'm into it. The night shift won't slow us down. 198 00:07:56,473 --> 00:07:58,224 Why is this going so slow? Where is everyone? 199 00:07:58,308 --> 00:08:00,976 Well, it is 3 a.m. It's a pretty bare-bones crew. 200 00:08:01,060 --> 00:08:03,020 Hi, can I help you? Are you lost? 201 00:08:03,104 --> 00:08:04,938 Can I get you something? Coffee, tea? 202 00:08:05,022 --> 00:08:06,065 You know what? We're in a bit of a hurry. 203 00:08:06,149 --> 00:08:07,191 Can you run this DNA for us? 204 00:08:07,275 --> 00:08:08,317 Well, of course. 205 00:08:08,401 --> 00:08:11,986 Sorry, not many people stopping by at night. Sometimes it makes you like… 206 00:08:12,070 --> 00:08:13,405 [EXCLAIMING] 207 00:08:13,613 --> 00:08:14,656 Right? 208 00:08:15,448 --> 00:08:17,298 -I'll be back in a sec. -PERALTA: Cool. 209 00:08:17,701 --> 00:08:20,869 Yikes. Not exactly the A-Team at this hour. 210 00:08:20,953 --> 00:08:22,454 A-Team? Are you guys talking A-Team? 211 00:08:22,538 --> 00:08:24,582 I love that show. I could download it. 212 00:08:24,707 --> 00:08:26,792 We should binge it! This is going to be fun. 213 00:08:26,876 --> 00:08:30,127 Yep, totally excited to watch five full seasons of television with you, 214 00:08:30,211 --> 00:08:32,880 but could you actually run the DNA for us first? 215 00:08:32,964 --> 00:08:35,800 It kind of feels like you're prioritizing work over our friendship. 216 00:08:35,884 --> 00:08:37,301 Because I barely know you? 217 00:08:37,426 --> 00:08:38,886 Fine, message received. 218 00:08:43,140 --> 00:08:45,724 Welcome back from your third massive break of the night. 219 00:08:45,808 --> 00:08:46,850 Thanks. 220 00:08:46,934 --> 00:08:47,976 I was being sarcastic. 221 00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:49,812 Where do you keep going? Not saying. 222 00:08:49,896 --> 00:08:50,938 Tell me, Diaz. Nope. 223 00:08:51,022 --> 00:08:52,314 Come on, tell me. Tell me, tell me… 224 00:08:52,398 --> 00:08:53,649 Not talking about it. Nope. 225 00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:55,192 Fine. 226 00:08:55,483 --> 00:08:58,152 I was in the bathroom. I'm having stomach problems. 227 00:08:58,236 --> 00:08:59,403 Oh, okay. Yeah. 228 00:08:59,487 --> 00:09:00,530 Sorry. It's real bad. 229 00:09:00,614 --> 00:09:01,656 No, that's okay. You should've been there. 230 00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:03,074 I don't have to hear it. It was like a massacre. 231 00:09:03,158 --> 00:09:04,533 Multiple flushes. Please stop. 232 00:09:04,617 --> 00:09:06,667 Attention, squad. Everyone gather around. 233 00:09:07,077 --> 00:09:08,954 I've been researching ways to raise morale, 234 00:09:09,038 --> 00:09:11,832 and I found an interesting article in a scientific journal. 235 00:09:11,916 --> 00:09:14,316 Was it from The American Journal of No One Cares? 236 00:09:15,585 --> 00:09:20,422 According to a recent study, the physical act of smiling can improve your mood. 237 00:09:20,506 --> 00:09:22,758 I suggest we give it a shot. 238 00:09:24,885 --> 00:09:26,094 Now, you all try. 239 00:09:28,722 --> 00:09:31,807 Big smiles, bigger, bigger! 240 00:09:31,891 --> 00:09:34,643 Great. Now, we just have to stay like this for the next two hours. 241 00:09:34,727 --> 00:09:36,019 Can you feel it working? 242 00:09:36,103 --> 00:09:37,521 I don't have any enamel on my teeth, 243 00:09:37,605 --> 00:09:38,981 so the cold air is excruciating. 244 00:09:39,065 --> 00:09:40,732 Maybe if you brushed your teeth 245 00:09:40,857 --> 00:09:42,525 once in a while, this wouldn't be a problem. 246 00:09:42,609 --> 00:09:46,070 I do brush my teeth. They're decaying from acid reflux. 247 00:09:46,154 --> 00:09:47,488 You're embarrassing yourself. 248 00:09:47,572 --> 00:09:48,614 Crikey. 249 00:09:48,698 --> 00:09:49,739 You're not Australian, Gina. 250 00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:51,700 Get stuffed, you drongo. 251 00:09:51,784 --> 00:09:55,328 Guys, seriously, too much exposure to air, and they will turn to dust. 252 00:09:55,412 --> 00:09:57,957 This isn't working out as well as I'd hoped. 253 00:09:58,123 --> 00:10:01,960 Time for the next level, forced laughing. 254 00:10:03,127 --> 00:10:05,463 [LAUGHTER] 255 00:10:07,589 --> 00:10:09,465 Wow, that lab tech took a long time. 256 00:10:09,549 --> 00:10:11,092 Once we agreed to go to his birthday party, 257 00:10:11,176 --> 00:10:14,596 he was actually pretty fast. But most importantly, we got a DNA match. 258 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:18,473 We're looking for Dave Smith. 259 00:10:18,557 --> 00:10:20,184 Sounds like a real piece of crap. 260 00:10:20,268 --> 00:10:22,811 You said it. Now, we just gotta pull his files from records. 261 00:10:22,895 --> 00:10:24,146 Yes, then we bust him, 262 00:10:24,230 --> 00:10:26,898 and we'll be done with plenty of time before Nikolaj wakes up. 263 00:10:26,982 --> 00:10:28,149 "Nikolaj." 264 00:10:28,316 --> 00:10:29,525 "Nikolaj," yeah, I said it. 265 00:10:29,609 --> 00:10:31,068 Nikolaj. Nikolaj. 266 00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:32,570 Not even close. "Nikolaj." 267 00:10:32,654 --> 00:10:34,071 Nikolaj. Almost. "Nikolaj." 268 00:10:34,155 --> 00:10:35,363 Nikolaj. I feel like I'm saying it. 269 00:10:35,447 --> 00:10:38,197 You know what, it doesn't matter. Hit me with the music! 270 00:10:38,325 --> 00:10:42,162 All night long All night All night 271 00:10:42,538 --> 00:10:44,038 Hi, there, we just need to pull a file… 272 00:10:44,122 --> 00:10:46,749 Can't. System's down. They do maintenance at night. 273 00:10:46,833 --> 00:10:48,792 That's okay, we'll just go to another precinct. 274 00:10:48,876 --> 00:10:49,961 That's all. Yep. 275 00:10:50,253 --> 00:10:52,005 All night long 276 00:10:52,588 --> 00:10:53,839 All night 277 00:10:53,964 --> 00:10:56,633 Hi, can we get this file, please? We're in a bit of a hurry. 278 00:10:56,717 --> 00:10:58,218 Oh, absolutely, honey. 279 00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:08,101 She's going extremely slow. 280 00:11:08,185 --> 00:11:09,353 She's going so slow. 281 00:11:10,104 --> 00:11:11,896 There we are. 282 00:11:13,565 --> 00:11:14,733 My glasses. 283 00:11:14,858 --> 00:11:16,275 Yeah, all right, we'll just go to Five-Four. 284 00:11:16,359 --> 00:11:17,944 All night No. 285 00:11:18,903 --> 00:11:20,279 Hello, hi, please, file now, hurry. 286 00:11:20,363 --> 00:11:21,697 Sorry, dude. 287 00:11:21,822 --> 00:11:23,240 I don't know how to get onto this system. 288 00:11:23,324 --> 00:11:24,366 I'm a temp. 289 00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:25,492 May I? 290 00:11:25,576 --> 00:11:29,454 Great, let me just get over… Good Lord, that is porn. 291 00:11:29,538 --> 00:11:31,121 Is that not allowed? It is not. 292 00:11:31,205 --> 00:11:33,791 No problem, let me just close these tabs. 293 00:11:39,254 --> 00:11:40,838 You've got a lot of them. 294 00:11:40,922 --> 00:11:44,550 Type 3 and type 9 and 12 and 13, 295 00:11:44,634 --> 00:11:47,512 those are all the diabetes I have. 296 00:11:47,596 --> 00:11:50,847 It's true what they say, night shift makes for strange bedfellows. 297 00:11:50,931 --> 00:11:52,474 In your dreams, perv. 298 00:11:52,558 --> 00:11:53,601 Ugh! 299 00:11:53,726 --> 00:11:54,769 Rosa? 300 00:11:54,894 --> 00:11:57,144 What the hell? She said she was in the bathroom again. 301 00:11:57,228 --> 00:11:59,272 Nah, she hasn't been to the bathroom since 8:27. 302 00:11:59,356 --> 00:12:03,193 What? Also… Ew. Come on, Hitchcock. 303 00:12:06,528 --> 00:12:08,947 Busted. [CHUCKLES] 304 00:12:09,740 --> 00:12:11,449 Man, this Dave Smith's bad news. 305 00:12:11,533 --> 00:12:13,994 Armed robbery, aggravated assault, attempted murder. 306 00:12:14,078 --> 00:12:16,996 Well, he's about to get a visit from The Night Boys. 307 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:18,831 This stupid limp is slowing me down. 308 00:12:18,915 --> 00:12:21,333 Charles, can you… Give you a piggy? 309 00:12:21,417 --> 00:12:23,502 What? Yeah, jump on it. I'll give you a piggy. [SNORTS] 310 00:12:23,586 --> 00:12:26,797 Actually, I'm good. I was just going to ask if you'd hold my bag. 311 00:12:26,922 --> 00:12:27,964 Yeah, sure, that makes more sense. 312 00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:29,090 Yeah. Embarrassed. 313 00:12:29,174 --> 00:12:30,300 Anyways, this is great. 314 00:12:30,384 --> 00:12:32,135 We're definitely going to catch this guy before sunup, 315 00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:34,387 and you will be home to see your kid. 316 00:12:36,180 --> 00:12:39,767 No! Son of a bitch. 317 00:12:42,269 --> 00:12:43,311 [KNOCKING] 318 00:12:44,187 --> 00:12:46,022 Jake, come on in. 319 00:12:46,106 --> 00:12:48,691 Nikolaj, look who it is. You remember Jake Peralta. 320 00:12:48,775 --> 00:12:50,110 From the stories. 321 00:12:50,235 --> 00:12:51,860 Yeah, we talk about you at bedtime. 322 00:12:51,944 --> 00:12:53,111 Look at my cement truck. 323 00:12:53,195 --> 00:12:55,030 He loves trucks. Cool, it's cool, buddy. 324 00:12:55,114 --> 00:12:56,406 Listen, I know you're with your kid, 325 00:12:56,490 --> 00:12:58,783 but I checked the file, and our perp's last known address 326 00:12:58,867 --> 00:13:00,368 is, like, two blocks from here. Really? 327 00:13:00,452 --> 00:13:01,577 We gotta go take him down. 328 00:13:01,661 --> 00:13:02,786 Yes, there's the Charles I know. 329 00:13:02,870 --> 00:13:04,872 Tonight, Dave Smith goes down. 330 00:13:04,956 --> 00:13:06,915 Tonight? No, Charles, we gotta go now. 331 00:13:06,999 --> 00:13:08,042 You saw this guy's rap sheet. 332 00:13:08,126 --> 00:13:09,460 He was arrested for attempted murder… 333 00:13:09,544 --> 00:13:10,835 Tickling, attempted tickling. 334 00:13:10,919 --> 00:13:12,337 Right, tickling. 335 00:13:12,421 --> 00:13:15,965 Look, Charles, this guy's a real doody-head, all right? 336 00:13:16,049 --> 00:13:17,592 He tickled once, he may tickle again. 337 00:13:17,676 --> 00:13:19,135 He might be tickling as we speak. 338 00:13:19,219 --> 00:13:21,511 We could be dealing with a serial tickler. 339 00:13:21,595 --> 00:13:24,639 I really want to go, Jake, but I'm here alone with Nikolaj. 340 00:13:24,723 --> 00:13:26,475 Genevieve doesn't get back for three hours. 341 00:13:26,559 --> 00:13:27,642 So, let's just take him with us. 342 00:13:27,726 --> 00:13:29,810 No, that's crazy. Or is it just crazy enough to work? 343 00:13:29,894 --> 00:13:31,228 [GROANS] Just crazy. 344 00:13:31,312 --> 00:13:33,147 [SIGHS] Man, it stinks you've gotta watch him. 345 00:13:33,231 --> 00:13:34,690 It's really messing everything up. 346 00:13:34,774 --> 00:13:36,150 I mean, that came out wrong. 347 00:13:36,234 --> 00:13:38,151 I love that you have a son. It's not messing everything up. 348 00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:40,779 Just messing up our ability to solve the case and have fun. 349 00:13:40,863 --> 00:13:42,113 [GROANS] You know what I mean. 350 00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:43,740 I'm a nice guy. I'm in the right. 351 00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:45,325 I'll just go myself. Bye, Nikolaj. 352 00:13:45,409 --> 00:13:46,618 "Nikolaj". 353 00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:48,035 PERALTA: Yeah, whatever. See you. 354 00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:51,080 I know your shift is over, and you've had a challenging night, 355 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:54,041 but I think I've found a new way to raise morale. 356 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,960 Follow me to the briefing room. 357 00:14:01,715 --> 00:14:02,883 What's all this? 358 00:14:03,133 --> 00:14:04,333 It's an after-work hang. 359 00:14:04,634 --> 00:14:06,844 Just trying to "turn up," as it were. 360 00:14:07,303 --> 00:14:11,473 We got snacks, games, decorations, chairs. 361 00:14:11,557 --> 00:14:12,933 Yes, chairs! 362 00:14:13,017 --> 00:14:15,351 Cool, maybe we can mill around and small-talk 363 00:14:15,435 --> 00:14:17,353 about how some of us are big lying liars 364 00:14:17,437 --> 00:14:19,837 who lie all the time like a bunch of liars, Rosa. 365 00:14:20,148 --> 00:14:22,900 I don't think that's good party convo. 366 00:14:22,984 --> 00:14:27,737 Maybe we should just name our favorite sailing knot. 367 00:14:27,821 --> 00:14:30,824 I'll start. The bowline. 368 00:14:34,243 --> 00:14:35,495 How about some tunes? 369 00:14:36,996 --> 00:14:38,956 Cool, merry-go-round music. 370 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:42,250 Yeah, John Philip Sousa, the Skrillex of his day. 371 00:14:42,334 --> 00:14:45,795 Come on, people, hit the dance floor. Have a good time. 372 00:14:46,338 --> 00:14:49,465 Why is no one having a good time? I specifically requested it. 373 00:14:49,549 --> 00:14:50,966 Gina, why aren't you dancing? 374 00:14:51,050 --> 00:14:52,926 I can't. I'm in the middle of a feud 375 00:14:53,010 --> 00:14:56,847 with the "that's not a knife" guy from Crocodile Dundee. 376 00:14:56,931 --> 00:14:58,098 He's being a real bitch. 377 00:14:58,182 --> 00:15:00,683 Fine, I guess I'll just stop the party. 378 00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:01,851 I didn't realize it ever started. 379 00:15:01,935 --> 00:15:03,019 Enough. 380 00:15:03,228 --> 00:15:06,898 I tried to make this fun. I even learned what Skrillex was! 381 00:15:07,357 --> 00:15:10,400 Sorry you're all miserable, but guess what, so am I. 382 00:15:10,484 --> 00:15:12,777 I'm exhausted all the time, I never see my husband, 383 00:15:12,861 --> 00:15:16,490 the late-night NPR programing, pure garbage! 384 00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:21,243 I'm done trying. We can all be miserable together. 385 00:15:21,327 --> 00:15:22,703 Just go home. 386 00:15:25,039 --> 00:15:27,665 I saw you earlier. You weren't in the bathroom. 387 00:15:27,749 --> 00:15:30,210 You were on a park bench, playing on your phone. 388 00:15:30,627 --> 00:15:32,671 Yeah, you left me to do everything 389 00:15:32,796 --> 00:15:34,839 while I thought you were pooping. 390 00:15:34,923 --> 00:15:37,675 I wish you were pooping. I wish to God. 391 00:15:38,092 --> 00:15:39,301 I'm sorry. 392 00:15:40,010 --> 00:15:41,053 Oh. 393 00:15:41,387 --> 00:15:44,390 Rosa crying, don't know what to do. 394 00:15:45,557 --> 00:15:48,017 Pat, pat. This feels wrong. 395 00:15:48,184 --> 00:15:49,934 We put away Figgis three weeks ago. 396 00:15:50,019 --> 00:15:51,769 Pimento should've been back by now. 397 00:15:51,896 --> 00:15:54,481 We had plans to meet on that park bench once the coast was clear, 398 00:15:54,565 --> 00:15:55,607 but he hasn't shown up. 399 00:15:55,691 --> 00:15:57,275 Maybe he's deep undercover, 400 00:15:57,359 --> 00:16:00,070 or he doesn't remember who he is, or maybe he's dead. 401 00:16:00,237 --> 00:16:01,280 Wow. Thanks. 402 00:16:01,780 --> 00:16:04,448 You're right, my fiancé's a total weirdo who's probably dead. 403 00:16:04,532 --> 00:16:06,992 I'll just give up on him and go do my paperwork. 404 00:16:07,076 --> 00:16:10,705 No, Diaz, wait. Maybe he's just really, really injured! 405 00:16:10,871 --> 00:16:12,081 Come on, Amy. 406 00:16:13,832 --> 00:16:16,418 All right, "Fiske, Jones, Thompkins… 407 00:16:17,669 --> 00:16:20,672 "Smith." Smith. 408 00:16:21,756 --> 00:16:23,382 Hey, NYPD, freeze! 409 00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:26,051 Slow down! This isn't fair! I have a cane! 410 00:16:28,053 --> 00:16:32,140 Stop! Stop, stop, stop. NYPD. 411 00:16:32,890 --> 00:16:35,017 NYPD. I need to commandeer this vehicle. 412 00:16:35,101 --> 00:16:36,686 It's a crossover. 413 00:16:36,978 --> 00:16:39,146 It's a crossover SUV, and you can't have it. 414 00:16:39,230 --> 00:16:40,855 I'm a cop. Can you please get out of the car? 415 00:16:40,939 --> 00:16:42,774 No, this is Schmidt's mom's car, 416 00:16:42,858 --> 00:16:45,735 and I'm more scared of her than I am of some two-bit thug. 417 00:16:45,819 --> 00:16:47,237 I'm not a thug. I'm police. 418 00:16:47,404 --> 00:16:48,821 Okay, then name one law. 419 00:16:48,905 --> 00:16:49,988 Don't kill people. 420 00:16:50,072 --> 00:16:51,823 That's on me. I set the bar too low. 421 00:16:51,907 --> 00:16:53,158 Look, can you please just get out? 422 00:16:53,242 --> 00:16:55,494 Okay, you can drive, but I'm not getting out. 423 00:16:55,578 --> 00:16:57,162 Right. Also, I have the seat warmer on. 424 00:16:57,246 --> 00:16:58,663 I don't just have a really hot butt. 425 00:16:58,747 --> 00:17:02,584 Doesn't matter to me. A perp is getting away. It's very hot. 426 00:17:03,752 --> 00:17:07,546 I can't believe this is happening. Thanks a lot, New York. 427 00:17:07,630 --> 00:17:09,381 You know what? If your city's so great, 428 00:17:09,465 --> 00:17:11,132 then how come it's not the state capital? 429 00:17:11,216 --> 00:17:13,260 What? Who cares about the state's capital? 430 00:17:13,344 --> 00:17:15,303 This is the concrete jungle where dreams are made of. 431 00:17:15,387 --> 00:17:17,346 That doesn't sound right. "Where dreams are made of"? 432 00:17:17,430 --> 00:17:19,348 I don't know. You tell me. It's your dumb city. 433 00:17:19,432 --> 00:17:20,474 It's grammatically odd. 434 00:17:20,558 --> 00:17:21,934 Whatever, I'm sure wherever you're from 435 00:17:22,018 --> 00:17:23,394 has strange songs written about it, too. 436 00:17:23,478 --> 00:17:24,937 Los Angeles? 437 00:17:25,104 --> 00:17:27,154 Damn it, all the songs there are so good. 438 00:17:30,067 --> 00:17:31,150 Watch my soup! 439 00:17:31,234 --> 00:17:33,695 I'm chasing a criminal. Your soup is not important. 440 00:17:33,779 --> 00:17:37,114 You took an oath to serve and protect. That applies to my soup. 441 00:17:37,198 --> 00:17:38,615 You know that's not what the oath is about. 442 00:17:38,699 --> 00:17:40,158 You're making a point you don't even believe in. 443 00:17:40,242 --> 00:17:41,285 Garbage truck! 444 00:17:41,452 --> 00:17:42,495 [BOTH YELLING] 445 00:17:45,789 --> 00:17:47,456 Damn it! He got away. 446 00:17:47,540 --> 00:17:50,209 Well, I spilled my soup. You tell me which is worse. 447 00:17:50,293 --> 00:17:53,004 My thing! Very clearly, my thing. 448 00:17:56,090 --> 00:17:57,966 JEFFORDS: Captain Holt, can we talk to you? 449 00:17:58,050 --> 00:18:01,136 What is the meaning of this? Am I the subject of a punking? 450 00:18:01,220 --> 00:18:03,137 It's a beginning-of-work hang. 451 00:18:04,389 --> 00:18:06,307 And why are you all in such good moods? 452 00:18:06,391 --> 00:18:08,392 Because you told us that you're miserable, too. 453 00:18:08,476 --> 00:18:11,769 SANTIAGO: And that means you'll fight to get us off the night shift, right? 454 00:18:11,853 --> 00:18:13,730 Well, here's what I have to say about that. 455 00:18:13,814 --> 00:18:16,191 The night shift stinks. Stinks like a butt. 456 00:18:16,733 --> 00:18:18,359 And I will do everything in my power 457 00:18:18,443 --> 00:18:20,403 to make sure we get back to the day shift. 458 00:18:20,487 --> 00:18:23,572 What are we standing around for? Put some Sousa on already. 459 00:18:23,698 --> 00:18:26,200 I want to get wild. 460 00:18:26,742 --> 00:18:28,285 Well, well, well, if it isn't one 461 00:18:28,369 --> 00:18:29,827 of the world-famous Night Bros. 462 00:18:29,911 --> 00:18:31,496 It's "The Night Boys," 463 00:18:31,621 --> 00:18:34,040 and why did I correct you? I would've preferred "Bros." 464 00:18:34,124 --> 00:18:35,666 Did you solve your case yet? No. 465 00:18:35,750 --> 00:18:38,210 Night shift, am I right? You remind me of me. 466 00:18:38,294 --> 00:18:40,170 It's not the night shift, okay? 467 00:18:40,254 --> 00:18:41,880 I found the perp, and I would've taken him down, 468 00:18:41,964 --> 00:18:43,590 but I'm hobbled, and I didn't have a partner 469 00:18:43,674 --> 00:18:46,635 because ever since Boyle had a son, that's all he can focus on. 470 00:18:46,719 --> 00:18:49,178 Whoa, hey. Are you angry at Boyle for having a kid? 471 00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:51,930 No, I'm just mad because I'm working the night shift, 472 00:18:52,014 --> 00:18:53,515 and I have to use a cane, and, yes, 473 00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:55,100 the one thing I could always count on no matter what, 474 00:18:55,184 --> 00:18:57,019 Boyle being there for me, is also gone. 475 00:18:57,103 --> 00:19:00,103 What do you say we let day-shift Lohank take a crack at this? 476 00:19:00,939 --> 00:19:03,358 I'm going to put a little something up in the old hopper. 477 00:19:03,442 --> 00:19:04,484 You tell me if it vibes with you. 478 00:19:04,568 --> 00:19:05,610 That's so gross. 479 00:19:05,694 --> 00:19:08,028 Life moves forwards, not backwards, 480 00:19:08,112 --> 00:19:10,364 and things will never be as they were. 481 00:19:10,448 --> 00:19:12,032 And you can be angry about that, 482 00:19:12,116 --> 00:19:16,286 or you can embrace the fact that your best friend now has a son. 483 00:19:16,453 --> 00:19:17,829 How cool is that, amigo? 484 00:19:18,621 --> 00:19:23,292 "Amigo. '' All right, fine, yes, I'll admit it is pretty cool. 485 00:19:23,376 --> 00:19:25,326 Boyle's wanted it for a very long time. 486 00:19:25,794 --> 00:19:26,878 And I guess I haven't actually spent 487 00:19:26,962 --> 00:19:28,963 that much time with Nikolaj yet. "Nikolaj." 488 00:19:29,047 --> 00:19:31,591 Man, am I seriously about to take emotional advice from Lohank? 489 00:19:31,675 --> 00:19:33,676 You know you want to, compadre. 490 00:19:35,803 --> 00:19:36,846 Go to him. 491 00:19:38,306 --> 00:19:42,934 Hey, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have said that about Pimento. 492 00:19:43,018 --> 00:19:44,560 I'm sure he's going to come back. 493 00:19:44,644 --> 00:19:46,104 I'm not even thinking about it anymore. 494 00:19:46,188 --> 00:19:47,772 That wasn't even me crying in the bathroom earlier, 495 00:19:47,856 --> 00:19:49,899 that was someone else with these same boots, but now she's gone. 496 00:19:49,983 --> 00:19:52,526 Look, when Jake was in witness protection, 497 00:19:52,651 --> 00:19:54,653 and I didn't know when he was ever coming back, 498 00:19:54,737 --> 00:19:56,571 you were always there when I needed to vent. 499 00:19:56,655 --> 00:19:58,573 So, I'll do your paperwork, 500 00:19:58,657 --> 00:20:01,367 and if you ever want company on that bench, I'm there. 501 00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:03,661 Thanks. I would advise against it, though. 502 00:20:03,745 --> 00:20:06,330 If he does come back, things are going to get real raunchy real fast. 503 00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:09,500 Like, we do a lot of licking. That's probably indecent exposure… 504 00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:10,625 Okay, got it. 505 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,502 You know what? I'll just start with this stack right here. 506 00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:14,338 Thanks, Rosa. Okay, good talk. 507 00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:18,342 Hey, what's up? 508 00:20:18,675 --> 00:20:20,008 I can't work the case tonight. 509 00:20:20,092 --> 00:20:21,635 Nikolaj's allergies are acting up, 510 00:20:21,719 --> 00:20:24,012 and now the dog seems to be allergic to him. It's this whole thing. 511 00:20:24,096 --> 00:20:25,556 Did you find Smith? 512 00:20:25,681 --> 00:20:27,183 No, he actually got away. 513 00:20:27,975 --> 00:20:30,975 Sorry, man. It's all right. It's the day shift's problem now. 514 00:20:31,269 --> 00:20:33,062 Whatever happened to working it till it's done? 515 00:20:33,146 --> 00:20:37,650 Honestly, Lohank kind of talked some sense into me. 516 00:20:37,858 --> 00:20:38,900 Lohank? 517 00:20:38,984 --> 00:20:40,694 Yeah, it was so gross. 518 00:20:41,362 --> 00:20:44,197 But I want to apologize. For what? 519 00:20:44,281 --> 00:20:45,574 Well, I kept talking about how I wanted 520 00:20:45,658 --> 00:20:46,824 everything to go back to normal, 521 00:20:46,908 --> 00:20:50,328 but if that actually happened, this little guy wouldn't be here. 522 00:20:50,703 --> 00:20:51,746 Or is he big? 523 00:20:51,830 --> 00:20:53,080 I don't know what size kids are supposed to be, 524 00:20:53,164 --> 00:20:54,206 or anything about kids, really. 525 00:20:54,290 --> 00:20:57,041 I think maybe that's part of the problem. It doesn't matter. 526 00:20:57,125 --> 00:20:58,525 I got a present for Nikolaj. 527 00:20:59,419 --> 00:21:01,672 Thanks, Jake. Come on in, give it to him. 528 00:21:01,797 --> 00:21:02,839 Niko. 529 00:21:02,923 --> 00:21:03,965 Hey, little man. 530 00:21:04,049 --> 00:21:05,382 A garbage truck! 531 00:21:05,466 --> 00:21:07,426 You want to know something cool? 532 00:21:07,510 --> 00:21:10,179 A truck just like this almost killed me today. 533 00:21:10,388 --> 00:21:11,430 [CLEARS THROAT] 534 00:21:11,597 --> 00:21:13,432 Kissed me, almost kissed me. 535 00:21:13,516 --> 00:21:16,393 Anyway, let's get some trash in this thing. Am I right? 536 00:21:17,185 --> 00:21:18,520 You're silly. 537 00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:19,937 Yep, I am silly. 538 00:21:20,021 --> 00:21:21,898 Oh, my God, this is a dream come true. 539 00:21:21,982 --> 00:21:23,815 I gotta get my phone. I gotta film this. 540 00:21:23,899 --> 00:21:25,776 But then I'll miss it. But I want it forever. 541 00:21:25,860 --> 00:21:26,985 But I should stay in the moment. 542 00:21:27,069 --> 00:21:28,111 But then I'll forget. 543 00:21:28,195 --> 00:21:29,795 Oh, my God, this is a nightmare!