1
00:00:02,907 --> 00:00:04,241
[SIGHS]
2
00:00:04,325 --> 00:00:05,784
Oh. Come here.
Come here, come here, come here.
3
00:00:05,868 --> 00:00:06,910
You got to see this.
4
00:00:06,994 --> 00:00:09,078
I'm about to give Captain Holt his gift.
5
00:00:09,162 --> 00:00:11,289
Oh! Did he lift his "no gift" policy?
6
00:00:11,373 --> 00:00:12,664
No, he didn't.
7
00:00:12,748 --> 00:00:14,749
But I figured out a way
to buy him something
8
00:00:14,833 --> 00:00:16,751
and trick him into accepting it.
9
00:00:16,835 --> 00:00:17,835
You are bad.
10
00:00:18,002 --> 00:00:19,044
I know, right?
11
00:00:19,128 --> 00:00:20,504
Wait. You're making fun of me.
12
00:00:20,588 --> 00:00:22,005
Mmm-hmm. Well, I don't care.
13
00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:23,715
He would never open a gift, right?
14
00:00:23,799 --> 00:00:26,426
But what if his gift
didn't look like a gift?
15
00:00:26,510 --> 00:00:28,260
He would open it? Exactly!
16
00:00:28,344 --> 00:00:30,429
I left it in a cardboard box on his desk.
17
00:00:30,513 --> 00:00:32,722
There's no card, just
the words, "Open now,"
18
00:00:32,806 --> 00:00:34,307
which I wrote with my wrong hand
19
00:00:34,391 --> 00:00:37,058
so he wouldn't recognize my handwriting.
20
00:00:37,142 --> 00:00:38,226
Captain. Santiago.
21
00:00:38,310 --> 00:00:39,394
Peralta. Sir.
22
00:00:39,478 --> 00:00:40,645
PERALTA: So just to recap,
23
00:00:40,729 --> 00:00:43,105
you left an unmarked package
on a police captain's desk
24
00:00:43,189 --> 00:00:45,107
on a random Monday,
with a suspicious message
25
00:00:45,191 --> 00:00:47,859
written on it that looked like it
was scrawled by a crazy person.
26
00:00:47,943 --> 00:00:49,319
Bomb! There's a bomb!
27
00:00:49,403 --> 00:00:51,361
Everyone out!
Let's go, let's go! [SHOUTING]
28
00:00:51,445 --> 00:00:52,738
This is not a drill!
29
00:00:52,822 --> 00:00:54,156
-Let's go!
-[ALARM BLARING]
30
00:00:55,032 --> 00:00:57,200
Great gift, babe.
31
00:00:58,201 --> 00:01:00,203
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
32
00:01:18,509 --> 00:01:20,177
Ho, ho, ho, Jake.
33
00:01:20,261 --> 00:01:22,511
Special delivery from Santa's elf.
34
00:01:22,595 --> 00:01:23,846
Merry Christmas.
35
00:01:23,930 --> 00:01:24,931
[EXCLAIMS]
36
00:01:25,514 --> 00:01:26,556
[GASPS]
37
00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:27,641
Heart Attack soda.
38
00:01:27,725 --> 00:01:29,184
Holy crap! I love this stuff!
39
00:01:29,268 --> 00:01:31,268
You know, technically,
it's just carbonated fudge.
40
00:01:31,352 --> 00:01:32,478
[SOFTLY] I know.
I thought they banned it.
41
00:01:32,562 --> 00:01:35,062
Not in Syria.
They use it to induce labor in goats.
42
00:01:35,731 --> 00:01:37,982
And your real present arrives tomorrow.
43
00:01:38,066 --> 00:01:40,192
There's more? Charles, this is too much.
44
00:01:40,276 --> 00:01:41,276
Nonsense!
45
00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:43,362
It was just a lot of
time and a lot of money.
46
00:01:43,446 --> 00:01:44,447
Oh.
47
00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:47,740
Gina! I screwed up.
48
00:01:47,824 --> 00:01:48,991
I forgot to get Charles anything.
49
00:01:49,075 --> 00:01:50,992
Oh, well, I always knew
he would die of sadness.
50
00:01:51,076 --> 00:01:52,202
I'm such a selfish jerk.
51
00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:54,787
I was just so focused on Amy's
gift that I completely spaced.
52
00:01:54,871 --> 00:01:56,413
His present to me was so personal.
53
00:01:56,497 --> 00:01:58,415
All right, think. What does Charles love?
54
00:01:58,499 --> 00:02:00,875
Gross food, tan pants, MasterChef Junior.
55
00:02:00,959 --> 00:02:02,251
Ooh. I could call up one of those kids
56
00:02:02,335 --> 00:02:03,628
and offer them a free trip to New York.
57
00:02:03,712 --> 00:02:05,712
I wouldn't do that.
Right, 'cause I'm a stranger,
58
00:02:05,796 --> 00:02:07,130
and I shouldn't be
luring them out of state.
59
00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:08,799
Good call. Jake, just go to Goodwin's.
60
00:02:08,883 --> 00:02:10,591
They're open late, and
they have everything.
61
00:02:10,675 --> 00:02:12,510
Right. Smart. Please come with me.
62
00:02:12,594 --> 00:02:13,761
Please, I need help
picking something out.
63
00:02:13,845 --> 00:02:15,012
Please, Gina?
64
00:02:15,971 --> 00:02:17,639
I'll take a pic of Terry in
the locker room for you.
65
00:02:17,723 --> 00:02:20,891
No towel, with his foot up on the bench.
66
00:02:20,975 --> 00:02:22,935
Towel on, still wet from the shower.
67
00:02:23,019 --> 00:02:24,018
I'm in.
68
00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,103
Hey, guys. What's up?
69
00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:27,189
Nothing. Nothing.
70
00:02:29,398 --> 00:02:31,525
Hey, Diaz, are we still on for
the Polar Bear Swim tonight?
71
00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:34,193
It's either that or go caroling
with my family, so, yeah.
72
00:02:34,277 --> 00:02:35,611
I'd rather walk into the freezing ocean.
73
00:02:35,695 --> 00:02:37,697
Wait, what?
You guys are doing the polar swim?
74
00:02:37,781 --> 00:02:38,863
Why didn't you ask me?
75
00:02:38,947 --> 00:02:39,989
Oh, we didn't think you'd be interested.
76
00:02:40,073 --> 00:02:41,157
Yeah, you're always cold.
77
00:02:41,241 --> 00:02:44,076
You brought a blanket to
a Mets game in mid-July.
78
00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:47,371
[SCOFFS] This one
thinks July 18th is mid-July.
79
00:02:49,331 --> 00:02:51,791
You guys think I'm some
kind of wimp, but I'm not.
80
00:02:51,875 --> 00:02:54,126
I am tough, and I'm strong,
81
00:02:54,210 --> 00:02:56,169
and I love to splash
around in chilly water.
82
00:02:56,253 --> 00:02:59,839
It's not chilly, it's as cold
as the waters of Cocytus,
83
00:02:59,923 --> 00:03:01,006
the frozen lake of hell.
84
00:03:01,090 --> 00:03:02,590
I'll see you there.
85
00:03:02,674 --> 00:03:04,124
I can't wait to dunk my junk.
86
00:03:04,510 --> 00:03:05,511
[GRUNTS]
87
00:03:07,929 --> 00:03:09,388
Okay, gang. I'm out.
88
00:03:09,472 --> 00:03:10,806
I'll be back on the 27th.
89
00:03:10,890 --> 00:03:12,890
I've got two days of family time.
90
00:03:12,974 --> 00:03:14,851
Do not attempt to contact me.
91
00:03:14,935 --> 00:03:16,686
I do not want a repeat of last year
92
00:03:16,770 --> 00:03:19,438
when Scully called me 50
times on Christmas morning.
93
00:03:19,522 --> 00:03:21,148
No. I called you once.
94
00:03:21,232 --> 00:03:22,481
My butt called the other 49.
95
00:03:22,565 --> 00:03:24,734
Yeah, well, my brother-in-law,
Zeke, was real judge-y
96
00:03:24,818 --> 00:03:26,527
about how much my phone was buzzing.
97
00:03:26,611 --> 00:03:28,028
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
98
00:03:31,989 --> 00:03:35,284
Somebody's got a lot
of business to tend to.
99
00:03:35,368 --> 00:03:37,869
Who are you? Barbara Corcoran?
100
00:03:37,953 --> 00:03:39,912
He didn't even make me
one of the good Sharks.
101
00:03:39,996 --> 00:03:40,997
I'm clearly Lori.
102
00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:42,623
Nobody call me.
103
00:03:43,958 --> 00:03:45,167
Gina.
104
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:48,502
It's our first annual
Boyle-Linetti Christmas.
105
00:03:48,586 --> 00:03:50,713
Are you excited about going
to town on Daddy's nog?
106
00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:53,131
Christmas is canceled. Charles ruined it.
107
00:03:53,215 --> 00:03:54,215
I'm gonna be a little late.
108
00:03:54,299 --> 00:03:55,717
I got to help Jake do some shopping.
109
00:03:55,801 --> 00:03:57,718
Oh. Last-minute gifts.
110
00:03:57,802 --> 00:03:59,553
Ooh. Who didn't make the cut?
111
00:03:59,637 --> 00:04:02,687
Tell me, Jake, who's the poor
sack at the bottom of your list?
112
00:04:03,306 --> 00:04:06,808
Actually, Amy.
113
00:04:06,892 --> 00:04:07,976
Amy? Yeah.
114
00:04:08,060 --> 00:04:10,145
Uff. That's bad.
115
00:04:10,603 --> 00:04:12,354
[INHALES DEEPLY] Just
give her whatever you got me.
116
00:04:12,438 --> 00:04:13,564
Really?
117
00:04:13,648 --> 00:04:16,232
But then I wouldn't have a gift for you.
118
00:04:16,316 --> 00:04:17,317
Would you be cool with that?
119
00:04:17,401 --> 00:04:18,902
No, that would eviscerate me.
120
00:04:19,570 --> 00:04:21,737
I'll get my coat.
I'm gonna help you find something for her.
121
00:04:21,821 --> 00:04:23,030
Oh, that's not necessary.
122
00:04:23,114 --> 00:04:24,198
[SPLUTTERS] Jake.
123
00:04:24,282 --> 00:04:26,115
Also not necessary to touch my face.
124
00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:28,118
It's Christmas. A time for friendship.
125
00:04:28,910 --> 00:04:30,035
Damn it. All right.
126
00:04:30,119 --> 00:04:31,244
I guess you'll just have to distract him
127
00:04:31,328 --> 00:04:32,746
when we get to the store. On it.
128
00:04:32,830 --> 00:04:34,247
I'll take him to
housewares and I'll ask him
129
00:04:34,331 --> 00:04:36,582
the difference between
a skillet and a frying pan.
130
00:04:36,666 --> 00:04:38,542
That'll buy you six hours. Perfect.
131
00:04:38,626 --> 00:04:40,251
Gina, you just saved Christmas.
132
00:04:40,335 --> 00:04:42,587
It's what I do.
133
00:04:42,671 --> 00:04:44,963
Every damn year.
134
00:04:45,047 --> 00:04:46,197
Good night. Good night.
135
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,634
Wait! No, no, no, no, no!
Don't lock the door!
136
00:04:49,718 --> 00:04:50,927
I just need to buy one thing.
137
00:04:51,011 --> 00:04:52,711
I'll be so fast, I won't even pay!
138
00:04:52,846 --> 00:04:53,930
How did that not work?
139
00:04:54,014 --> 00:04:56,056
Hey, there's still people in there.
They're not closed.
140
00:04:56,140 --> 00:04:58,600
First time at a retail
store, Oliver Twist?
141
00:04:58,684 --> 00:05:00,851
They lock the doors,
but if you're still inside,
142
00:05:00,935 --> 00:05:02,937
you get an extra 15 minutes to finish up.
143
00:05:03,021 --> 00:05:05,897
Oh. Perfect, so we should just try and
sneak in an entrance through the back.
144
00:05:05,981 --> 00:05:08,024
Boyle, you'll have to stay here.
It's too dangerous.
145
00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:09,608
No way I let you take that risk alone.
146
00:05:09,692 --> 00:05:10,842
Damn it, you are loyal.
147
00:05:11,193 --> 00:05:12,194
Shall we?
148
00:05:14,070 --> 00:05:15,447
[SIGHS]
149
00:05:17,616 --> 00:05:18,616
[EXHALES]
150
00:05:22,286 --> 00:05:23,286
BOYLE: Whereas, with the skillet,
151
00:05:23,370 --> 00:05:26,413
the approach to fish skin
is completely different.
152
00:05:26,497 --> 00:05:29,541
Uh-huh. And your spatula
technique is completely intuitive.
153
00:05:29,625 --> 00:05:31,292
Please, tell me more. Okay. I got it.
154
00:05:31,376 --> 00:05:32,502
They're closing. Let's go.
155
00:05:32,586 --> 00:05:33,919
Let's take a peep at that purchase.
156
00:05:34,003 --> 00:05:36,046
Cologne? Uh, it's perfume.
157
00:05:36,130 --> 00:05:37,464
For a lady. Woman.
158
00:05:37,548 --> 00:05:38,756
It's called "Canyon Stank."
159
00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:40,758
It's got a man riding a burro on it.
160
00:05:40,842 --> 00:05:43,635
Oh! Does it? I didn't notice.
I just like the way it smelled.
161
00:05:43,719 --> 00:05:46,346
I wear this cologne, Jake.
I'm a Stank man.
162
00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:49,139
Um, I don't know,
maybe just subconsciously
163
00:05:49,223 --> 00:05:51,023
I wanted Amy to smell more like you.
164
00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:54,644
Okay, little creepy, bud.
Coming on real strong.
165
00:05:54,728 --> 00:05:57,230
Wow, the tables have really turned.
166
00:05:57,314 --> 00:05:58,689
-[GRUNTS]
-[GLASS SHATTERS]
167
00:05:58,773 --> 00:06:00,399
Shut up! Keep walking!
168
00:06:00,483 --> 00:06:02,316
[SOFTLY] Shoot!
The store is being robbed!
169
00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:03,652
Come here.
170
00:06:07,571 --> 00:06:10,323
All right, just slowly back up.
There's a door behind us.
171
00:06:10,407 --> 00:06:12,449
We just have to get outside
and call the Nine-Nine.
172
00:06:12,533 --> 00:06:13,909
Go.
173
00:06:13,993 --> 00:06:16,537
MAN: Just head for the vault. We're good.
174
00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:27,336
-MAN: Lock 'em up!
-BOYLE: They're sealing the exits.
175
00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:28,421
Oh, my God.
176
00:06:29,965 --> 00:06:32,091
It's real-life Die Hard.
177
00:06:33,467 --> 00:06:36,261
I mean, "Oh, no! Crime."
178
00:06:44,101 --> 00:06:45,894
They've taken all the security guards.
179
00:06:45,978 --> 00:06:47,561
I left my gun in my locker.
Are you carrying?
180
00:06:47,645 --> 00:06:49,021
No, mine's at work.
181
00:06:49,105 --> 00:06:51,147
Boyle Christmas charades
can get pretty competitive
182
00:06:51,231 --> 00:06:52,857
and it's best not to
have firearms around.
183
00:06:52,941 --> 00:06:55,984
We don't need guns.
I have a lighter, okay?
184
00:06:56,068 --> 00:06:58,528
We get some hairspray,
make some flamethrowers.
185
00:06:58,612 --> 00:07:00,196
Let's fry these bitches.
186
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:01,780
No one is frying any bitches.
187
00:07:01,864 --> 00:07:03,365
Charles, did you call this into dispatch?
188
00:07:03,449 --> 00:07:05,783
Yes, but I can't get in touch
with anyone from the Nine-Nine.
189
00:07:05,867 --> 00:07:08,286
Right. Amy, Rosa, and Holt
are having the time of their lives
190
00:07:08,370 --> 00:07:10,495
splashing around in
the freezing, filthy ocean.
191
00:07:10,579 --> 00:07:11,788
I'll try Terry.
192
00:07:11,872 --> 00:07:13,540
Thank you for this amazing year.
193
00:07:13,624 --> 00:07:15,416
Thank you for the food in front of us.
194
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:16,655
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
195
00:07:16,739 --> 00:07:19,629
And my family, which is
my number-one priority.
196
00:07:20,796 --> 00:07:22,589
Much more than… Phones.
197
00:07:22,673 --> 00:07:24,523
Just take the call, Barbara Corcoran.
198
00:07:25,425 --> 00:07:26,634
This better be an emergency.
199
00:07:26,718 --> 00:07:28,010
There better be a gun to your head.
200
00:07:28,094 --> 00:07:30,511
Charles, Gina, and I
are in a hostage situation.
201
00:07:30,595 --> 00:07:33,181
Oh God, I shouldn't
have said the gun thing.
202
00:07:33,265 --> 00:07:34,723
Terry regrets the way
he answered the phone.
203
00:07:34,807 --> 00:07:36,725
We're at Goodwin's.
There are multiple gunmen.
204
00:07:36,809 --> 00:07:37,893
They've blocked all the exits,
205
00:07:37,977 --> 00:07:39,353
they've taken the
security guards hostage,
206
00:07:39,437 --> 00:07:40,895
and we're looking for a place to hide.
207
00:07:40,979 --> 00:07:41,979
It's awesome.
208
00:07:42,063 --> 00:07:43,064
Awesome?
209
00:07:43,148 --> 00:07:44,397
Awesomely serious.
210
00:07:44,481 --> 00:07:46,358
I am not enjoying this,
no matter how much it is
211
00:07:46,442 --> 00:07:48,568
100% my favorite movie come to life.
212
00:07:48,652 --> 00:07:50,444
The important thing is keep Gina safe.
213
00:07:50,528 --> 00:07:52,404
You have a civilian with you.
I'm on the way.
214
00:07:52,488 --> 00:07:54,238
Cool. Also bring a pic of yourself
215
00:07:54,322 --> 00:07:55,448
in a towel coming out of the shower.
216
00:07:55,532 --> 00:07:57,482
Can't explain why, okay? Gotta go, bye.
217
00:07:58,910 --> 00:08:01,370
There's a serious situation going
down they need my help with.
218
00:08:01,454 --> 00:08:04,997
Did one of your detectives lose
his head up his own butt? [LAUGHS]
219
00:08:05,081 --> 00:08:06,916
You don't even have a job, Zeke!
220
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,167
You know what, I'm not
supposed to be bringing this up,
221
00:08:09,251 --> 00:08:10,251
but I'm bringing it up!
222
00:08:10,335 --> 00:08:13,004
I'm sick of hearing you
"got things brewing."
223
00:08:13,088 --> 00:08:16,632
You ask me, the only thing
you got brewing is a pot of BS!
224
00:08:16,716 --> 00:08:19,342
Kids, I love you.
Sharon, you are perfect.
225
00:08:19,426 --> 00:08:21,011
Zeke, get a job!
226
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:27,391
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
227
00:08:29,934 --> 00:08:31,310
Okay, we should be safe in here.
228
00:08:31,394 --> 00:08:32,812
This place looks good.
229
00:08:32,896 --> 00:08:34,270
Good? It's great!
230
00:08:34,354 --> 00:08:35,355
Santa's chair.
231
00:08:35,439 --> 00:08:36,648
All right, ESU's on their way.
232
00:08:36,732 --> 00:08:38,816
Our top priority is keeping Gina safe.
233
00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:39,900
Keeping me safe?
234
00:08:39,984 --> 00:08:41,652
I'm gonna help you take these guys down.
235
00:08:41,736 --> 00:08:43,319
[IMITATES FIRE WHOOSHING]
236
00:08:43,403 --> 00:08:45,488
No, you're not doing anything like that.
You're not a cop.
237
00:08:45,572 --> 00:08:47,156
I've watched what you do for six years.
238
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:48,490
It's not that difficult.
239
00:08:48,574 --> 00:08:50,409
"NYPD. You're under arrest."
240
00:08:50,493 --> 00:08:53,077
[BLOWS RASPBERRIES] That
was clearly an impression of Charles.
241
00:08:53,161 --> 00:08:55,830
But stay here with him
while I do some recon.
242
00:08:56,164 --> 00:08:57,831
Wait, shouldn't we all stick together?
243
00:08:57,915 --> 00:08:59,666
Someone has to assess
the situation, Boyle.
244
00:08:59,750 --> 00:09:01,751
Plus, we're trapped, on Christmas,
245
00:09:01,835 --> 00:09:04,461
with a bunch of bad guys
who are very likely German.
246
00:09:04,545 --> 00:09:06,213
This is my John McClane moment.
247
00:09:06,297 --> 00:09:09,173
Okay. You're gonna need a tank top.
248
00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:10,883
You can have mine. No need.
249
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,342
I snagged this on the way here.
250
00:09:12,426 --> 00:09:13,719
"Baby Grrl?"
251
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:14,928
Yeah, they didn't
have the best selection.
252
00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:16,013
I'll probably just skip the tank.
253
00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:17,680
BOYLE: Yeah. I will return.
254
00:09:17,931 --> 00:09:19,182
Okay. Gina.
255
00:09:22,392 --> 00:09:24,060
You all right? You look pretty cold.
256
00:09:24,144 --> 00:09:26,354
-I'm not. I'm actually hot.
-[HORN BLARES]
257
00:09:26,438 --> 00:09:29,023
Hot, and ready to get this
super-fun thing over with.
258
00:09:29,107 --> 00:09:30,315
First, a toast.
259
00:09:30,399 --> 00:09:31,524
Great. Let's drag this out.
260
00:09:31,608 --> 00:09:32,817
To the sea.
261
00:09:32,901 --> 00:09:34,027
To the sea! Hear, hear!
262
00:09:34,111 --> 00:09:35,194
I wasn't done.
263
00:09:35,278 --> 00:09:37,029
Chill, Amy, let him
finish his ocean toast.
264
00:09:37,113 --> 00:09:38,363
Thank you, Rosa.
265
00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:40,699
I'm reminded of a beloved Christmas carol
266
00:09:40,783 --> 00:09:42,700
by English poet Christina Rossetti.
267
00:09:42,951 --> 00:09:46,619
"In the bleak mid-winter,
frosty wind made moan,
268
00:09:46,703 --> 00:09:50,165
"Earth stood hard as
iron, water like a stone."
269
00:09:50,249 --> 00:09:52,041
Moan, stone, phone. We get it.
270
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:54,175
Down the hatch. Let's get this over with.
271
00:09:54,919 --> 00:09:55,919
[GROANS]
272
00:09:56,586 --> 00:09:57,587
Whee!
273
00:10:02,842 --> 00:10:04,635
No!
274
00:10:05,136 --> 00:10:06,469
Oh, my God!
275
00:10:06,803 --> 00:10:08,054
[SIRENS WAILING]
276
00:10:11,181 --> 00:10:13,600
Excuse me, Sergeant
Jeffords with the Nine-Nine.
277
00:10:13,684 --> 00:10:15,559
I've got two detectives
and a civilian in there.
278
00:10:15,643 --> 00:10:17,812
-Who's in charge?
-MAN: I am, ding-dong.
279
00:10:19,272 --> 00:10:20,605
The Vulture?
280
00:10:20,689 --> 00:10:21,981
That's right. It's me.
281
00:10:22,065 --> 00:10:23,066
In the flesh.
282
00:10:23,817 --> 00:10:24,818
Happy Kwanzaa.
283
00:10:25,401 --> 00:10:26,818
Oh, man. You can't say that.
284
00:10:26,902 --> 00:10:27,903
Mmm.
285
00:10:33,408 --> 00:10:35,608
All right, let's see
what we're dealing with.
286
00:10:37,411 --> 00:10:40,288
I'll call you… Klaus.
287
00:10:46,001 --> 00:10:48,002
[GLASS SHATTERING]
288
00:10:48,086 --> 00:10:49,795
You will be Gunter.
289
00:10:49,879 --> 00:10:51,714
With the little dots over the "U."
290
00:10:58,303 --> 00:10:59,719
Jurgen.
291
00:10:59,803 --> 00:11:01,513
MAN: Hey, Matt. Are you in position?
292
00:11:01,597 --> 00:11:02,598
-I'm here.
-[STATIC]
293
00:11:03,390 --> 00:11:06,309
Oh, great, the bad guy's name is Matt.
294
00:11:06,851 --> 00:11:08,436
Hey, sorry that took so long.
295
00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:10,186
Gina, you doing okay? You scared?
296
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:12,313
I'm scared you won't let
me make a flamethrower
297
00:11:12,397 --> 00:11:13,397
and use it to throw flame.
298
00:11:13,481 --> 00:11:14,731
You're right. I will not do that.
299
00:11:14,815 --> 00:11:16,191
You're gonna stay here and keep hiding.
300
00:11:16,275 --> 00:11:17,734
Boyle and I are gonna handle this.
301
00:11:17,818 --> 00:11:19,485
Here's the situation. Twelve terrorists,
302
00:11:19,569 --> 00:11:21,195
one cop. Just the way he likes it.
303
00:11:21,279 --> 00:11:22,279
Who's he? Me!
304
00:11:22,363 --> 00:11:23,363
Why are you calling yourself "He"?
305
00:11:23,447 --> 00:11:25,073
Because that's the tagline
from the Die Hard poster,
306
00:11:25,157 --> 00:11:26,741
and also my high school yearbook quote.
307
00:11:26,825 --> 00:11:28,909
I knew I recognized it.
Next time, lead with that.
308
00:11:28,993 --> 00:11:30,994
Right. Sorry.
Also, there aren't 12 of them.
309
00:11:31,078 --> 00:11:32,954
There are seven, and they're
not terrorists, they're robbers.
310
00:11:33,038 --> 00:11:34,872
They brought drilling
equipment to break into the safe.
311
00:11:34,956 --> 00:11:38,083
Okay, so it's really seven
robbers, two cops, and one Gina.
312
00:11:38,167 --> 00:11:39,584
Yes. Exactly. Yeah.
313
00:11:39,668 --> 00:11:40,752
Where's Gina?
314
00:11:40,836 --> 00:11:41,837
Gina?
315
00:11:43,046 --> 00:11:44,839
There she is. She went for the hairspray.
316
00:11:44,923 --> 00:11:46,382
BOYLE: She is incorrigible.
317
00:11:47,508 --> 00:11:49,592
Who are you? Come here. No!
318
00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:52,137
No, no, no, no.
Jake, they're taking Gina.
319
00:11:52,221 --> 00:11:54,471
Yeah, I know.
We're looking at the same thing.
320
00:11:57,515 --> 00:11:59,100
What? They got Gina?
321
00:11:59,184 --> 00:12:00,977
-I told you to watch her!
-PERALTA: I know.
322
00:12:01,061 --> 00:12:03,603
I am so sorry, but I promise
you, we will get her back.
323
00:12:03,687 --> 00:12:04,855
Oh, this is bad.
324
00:12:04,939 --> 00:12:06,356
I got to report this to the Vulture.
325
00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:07,439
He's in charge.
326
00:12:07,523 --> 00:12:08,691
Oh! The Vulture?
327
00:12:08,775 --> 00:12:11,443
I thought he was on his
massage tour of Southeast Asia.
328
00:12:11,527 --> 00:12:12,610
He's leaving tomorrow.
329
00:12:12,694 --> 00:12:14,237
That's why he wants this over quickly.
330
00:12:14,321 --> 00:12:15,905
He wants to storm the building. No!
331
00:12:15,989 --> 00:12:18,448
No, no, no. That is a bad idea.
332
00:12:18,532 --> 00:12:19,575
Look, we still haven't figured out
333
00:12:19,659 --> 00:12:21,576
where they're holding Gina
and the rest of the hostages.
334
00:12:21,660 --> 00:12:23,119
If you guys come busting in here,
335
00:12:23,203 --> 00:12:24,579
things could go sideways real fast.
336
00:12:24,663 --> 00:12:26,289
That's what I told him, but then he just
337
00:12:26,373 --> 00:12:27,664
repeated it back to me in a lady's voice.
338
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:28,748
PERALTA: Listen to me, Sarge.
339
00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:30,584
Boyle and I can take
these guys out one by one
340
00:12:30,668 --> 00:12:31,750
and no one will get hurt.
341
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:33,460
Just ask the Vulture to
give me some more time.
342
00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:34,670
He'll be reasonable.
343
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:35,963
What am I talking about?
It's the Vulture.
344
00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:38,882
Tell him Tila Tequila's doing
a free show in Central Park.
345
00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:40,633
Then how come Tila just posted a selfie
346
00:12:40,717 --> 00:12:42,634
from the Kid Rock show in Daytona, bro?
347
00:12:42,718 --> 00:12:45,470
Yeah, I follow her. You know what?
I know what's going on here.
348
00:12:45,554 --> 00:12:48,389
Jake wants to go solo, and
he's trying to steal my thunder.
349
00:12:48,473 --> 00:12:50,974
He's inside and he has
eyes on the situation.
350
00:12:51,058 --> 00:12:53,393
Look, I'm in command here.
Look around you.
351
00:12:53,477 --> 00:12:55,395
I control all of this.
352
00:12:55,479 --> 00:12:57,814
You see that guy behind you? That sniper?
353
00:12:58,231 --> 00:12:59,773
He'll shoot whoever I tell him to.
354
00:12:59,857 --> 00:13:00,857
Even you.
355
00:13:01,108 --> 00:13:02,442
No, I won't. Fine.
356
00:13:02,526 --> 00:13:05,402
Then, he'll sit on any
rooftop I tell him to.
357
00:13:05,486 --> 00:13:07,696
Hey, go sit on that rooftop, guy.
358
00:13:07,780 --> 00:13:09,823
Look, just give Jake a chance.
359
00:13:09,907 --> 00:13:12,033
If he fails, then you
can storm the building.
360
00:13:12,117 --> 00:13:13,826
I'll give him a chance to
sit on his little white butt
361
00:13:13,910 --> 00:13:15,493
and wait for me to come rescue him.
362
00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:17,370
You tell him that I'm Liam Neeson
363
00:13:17,454 --> 00:13:19,004
and he's my hot, dumb daughter.
364
00:13:20,039 --> 00:13:21,540
All right, we're outnumbered and unarmed.
365
00:13:21,624 --> 00:13:23,083
If we're gonna get Gina
back, we need weapons.
366
00:13:23,167 --> 00:13:24,710
This place sells hammers, wrenches…
367
00:13:24,794 --> 00:13:26,002
Do they sell plants?
368
00:13:26,086 --> 00:13:28,504
Because some of that
potting soil is very toxic
369
00:13:28,588 --> 00:13:29,838
if ingested in large quantities.
370
00:13:29,922 --> 00:13:32,222
So you want to feed
the bad guys a lot of soil?
371
00:13:32,717 --> 00:13:33,717
Force-feed 'em.
372
00:13:33,801 --> 00:13:36,385
Okay, that's a good option
that I will definitely consider.
373
00:13:36,469 --> 00:13:38,722
Now, let's go out there
and gear our asses up.
374
00:13:39,097 --> 00:13:40,431
Quietly. Quietly.
375
00:14:06,368 --> 00:14:07,369
"Ho-ho-ho?"
376
00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:09,120
[GRUNTING]
377
00:14:15,792 --> 00:14:16,793
[GLASS SHATTERS]
378
00:14:18,961 --> 00:14:19,962
[GRUNTS]
379
00:14:25,133 --> 00:14:26,134
Hey, Matt.
380
00:14:26,551 --> 00:14:27,552
[GRUNTS]
381
00:14:28,761 --> 00:14:31,055
That'll teach you to have
a dumb, normal name.
382
00:14:31,805 --> 00:14:33,931
All right, where are you
holding the hostages?
383
00:14:34,015 --> 00:14:35,099
I'll bet you'd like to know, eh?
384
00:14:35,183 --> 00:14:37,101
Canadian? No!
385
00:14:37,185 --> 00:14:39,227
You're so clearly supposed to be German.
386
00:14:39,311 --> 00:14:41,187
Are any of you German? [MUFFLED] Mmm-mmm.
387
00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:42,480
Russian? Mmm-mmm.
388
00:14:42,564 --> 00:14:43,772
North Korean? Mmm-mmm.
389
00:14:43,856 --> 00:14:44,982
Greek? Mmm-mmm.
390
00:14:45,066 --> 00:14:46,400
I don't trust the way the Greeks dance.
391
00:14:46,484 --> 00:14:47,483
No one does.
392
00:14:47,567 --> 00:14:48,610
MAN: You there?
393
00:14:50,362 --> 00:14:53,780
Uh, yeah, I was oot,
but now I'm back, eh?
394
00:14:53,864 --> 00:14:55,490
Meet me in the service corridor.
395
00:14:55,574 --> 00:14:57,908
We've got a situation with the hostages.
396
00:14:57,992 --> 00:15:01,328
Okey dokey, sorry to hear aboot that.
397
00:15:01,412 --> 00:15:02,453
Service corridor.
398
00:15:02,537 --> 00:15:04,498
That was great, Jake. Thanks.
399
00:15:05,832 --> 00:15:08,417
Peralta just texted.
He knows where the hostages are.
400
00:15:08,501 --> 00:15:10,002
He wants 15 more minutes.
401
00:15:10,086 --> 00:15:11,378
And I want my lesbian neighbors
402
00:15:11,462 --> 00:15:12,753
to be way hotter than they are,
403
00:15:12,837 --> 00:15:15,256
but we can't always
get what we want, right?
404
00:15:15,340 --> 00:15:17,007
I'm ordering that raid. Hey!
405
00:15:17,091 --> 00:15:19,050
Give that back to me. Are you serious?
406
00:15:19,134 --> 00:15:20,677
I will end your career.
407
00:15:20,761 --> 00:15:22,261
You'll be out there working as a model
408
00:15:22,345 --> 00:15:24,388
because, well, you know, you're shredded,
409
00:15:24,472 --> 00:15:25,472
and I respect that.
410
00:15:25,556 --> 00:15:26,806
Give me that walkie-talkie, now.
411
00:15:26,890 --> 00:15:28,891
Those are my people in there!
412
00:15:28,975 --> 00:15:31,519
You are not gonna give that order!
413
00:15:32,019 --> 00:15:33,437
Stand down. No.
414
00:15:33,521 --> 00:15:35,147
Stand down or I'm gonna make you.
415
00:15:35,231 --> 00:15:38,107
Hey, you turds, get off
the roof and help me!
416
00:15:38,191 --> 00:15:40,026
Get off the roof!
417
00:15:40,110 --> 00:15:42,402
I can't do it.
I'm a wimp, just like you said.
418
00:15:42,486 --> 00:15:44,195
I didn't say that, and I
don't care if you go in.
419
00:15:44,279 --> 00:15:45,613
Be honest. You're judging me.
420
00:15:45,697 --> 00:15:46,947
I'm really not.
421
00:15:47,031 --> 00:15:48,199
I am, a bit.
422
00:15:49,033 --> 00:15:50,284
No lies on Christmas.
423
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,786
Diaz, shall we?
424
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:54,871
[SIGHS]
425
00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:00,708
What?
426
00:16:00,792 --> 00:16:01,793
Oh!
427
00:16:03,253 --> 00:16:04,295
Guys!
428
00:16:04,379 --> 00:16:08,631
Captain? Rosa? Please hear me from land!
429
00:16:08,715 --> 00:16:11,300
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
430
00:16:11,384 --> 00:16:13,969
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God!
431
00:16:14,053 --> 00:16:16,471
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
432
00:16:16,555 --> 00:16:18,348
Welcome to the frozen…
433
00:16:18,432 --> 00:16:19,931
Shut your dumb poem mouth!
434
00:16:20,015 --> 00:16:21,558
I'm so sorry. No, I'm not!
435
00:16:21,642 --> 00:16:23,810
We have a crisis.
We have to go. Let's go.
436
00:16:23,894 --> 00:16:26,646
Cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold.
437
00:16:35,194 --> 00:16:37,071
How are we gonna get
past them without a gunfight?
438
00:16:37,155 --> 00:16:39,114
I'll tell you how John
McClane would do it.
439
00:16:39,198 --> 00:16:40,407
The vents.
440
00:16:40,657 --> 00:16:42,909
[EXCLAIMS] Blast the AC, they get chilly,
441
00:16:42,993 --> 00:16:44,409
they leave to find sweaters.
442
00:16:44,493 --> 00:16:45,702
No, we're gonna climb through them.
443
00:16:45,786 --> 00:16:47,913
Even better. Classic use of vents.
444
00:16:49,497 --> 00:16:50,498
Yeah.
445
00:16:53,418 --> 00:16:54,959
[INDISTINCT]
446
00:16:55,043 --> 00:16:56,086
I think we're good.
447
00:16:56,336 --> 00:16:57,337
[CHUCKLES]
448
00:16:57,671 --> 00:16:58,880
[LOUD CLATTER]
449
00:16:59,338 --> 00:17:00,988
I don't think we're good anymore.
450
00:17:01,382 --> 00:17:03,425
MAN: Who's there? Dave, is that you?
451
00:17:03,509 --> 00:17:05,218
What are we gonna do?
They know we're here.
452
00:17:05,302 --> 00:17:07,846
No, they know I'm here.
453
00:17:09,138 --> 00:17:11,682
Quick, hide. Go, go, go, go.
454
00:17:12,349 --> 00:17:13,349
[SIGHS]
455
00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:16,435
Hey, hosers. It's me, Dave, eh?
456
00:17:16,519 --> 00:17:17,896
[GRUNTS] Didn't work.
457
00:17:20,731 --> 00:17:23,273
Jake. Jake! Jake!
458
00:17:23,357 --> 00:17:24,817
[GRUNTS] Are you okay?
459
00:17:24,901 --> 00:17:26,276
Oh, my head hurts.
460
00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:28,695
Probably from being conked on it.
461
00:17:29,779 --> 00:17:31,030
How are you?
462
00:17:31,114 --> 00:17:32,281
I'm tied up. I'm scared.
463
00:17:32,365 --> 00:17:35,742
This guy hasn't stopped
farting for the last hour.
464
00:17:35,826 --> 00:17:37,618
[STAMMERS] I keep
telling you, it's not me.
465
00:17:37,702 --> 00:17:40,830
[SIGHS] Ramon, do you really
want your last words to be a lie?
466
00:17:41,039 --> 00:17:43,081
Those aren't gonna be your
last words, Ramon, all right?
467
00:17:43,165 --> 00:17:44,707
We're all gonna be fine.
468
00:17:44,791 --> 00:17:47,001
They're gonna drill into the
safe, take the money, and then go.
469
00:17:47,085 --> 00:17:48,544
They don't need to drill into the safe.
470
00:17:48,628 --> 00:17:50,212
They had my ID.
They already have all the cash.
471
00:17:50,296 --> 00:17:51,630
What?
472
00:17:51,714 --> 00:17:53,881
Then why'd they bring all
that heavy-duty equipment?
473
00:17:53,965 --> 00:17:56,218
So you're a cop.
474
00:17:57,301 --> 00:17:58,885
I hate cops.
475
00:17:58,969 --> 00:18:01,012
They gave me this. Nice!
476
00:18:01,096 --> 00:18:04,140
Finally, a good bad guy.
This dude gets it.
477
00:18:04,224 --> 00:18:05,307
Now I'm gonna kill you.
478
00:18:05,391 --> 00:18:07,851
Okay, you took it a little too far.
Maybe scale it back a skosh.
479
00:18:07,935 --> 00:18:09,311
MAN: All set down here.
480
00:18:10,437 --> 00:18:12,146
Okay, start loading out.
481
00:18:12,230 --> 00:18:14,648
I just have one piece of
business to take care of.
482
00:18:14,732 --> 00:18:17,317
You know, killing a man
is not as easy as it sounds.
483
00:18:18,276 --> 00:18:19,485
[COCKS GUN] I've killed ten men.
484
00:18:19,569 --> 00:18:20,945
And that's such a nice, round number.
485
00:18:21,029 --> 00:18:22,362
Wouldn't you agree? I mean, imagine.
486
00:18:22,446 --> 00:18:26,532
"I've killed 11 people."
It just sounds so cumbersome.
487
00:18:26,616 --> 00:18:27,659
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
488
00:18:29,577 --> 00:18:30,578
[GROANS]
489
00:18:31,286 --> 00:18:33,621
-Yippie kayak, other buckets!
-[ROD CLATTERS]
490
00:18:33,705 --> 00:18:35,373
Boyle! You did it!
491
00:18:35,457 --> 00:18:37,458
And you completely
botched the catchphrase.
492
00:18:37,542 --> 00:18:38,625
I'm pretty sure it was right.
493
00:18:38,709 --> 00:18:39,877
No, but you did great.
494
00:18:43,338 --> 00:18:44,422
GINA: All right.
495
00:18:44,506 --> 00:18:45,590
Look, we have to stop the other robbers.
496
00:18:45,674 --> 00:18:46,923
They're escaping with the merch.
497
00:18:47,007 --> 00:18:48,907
How? Terry's got the place surrounded.
498
00:18:49,843 --> 00:18:51,760
The drill. It's not for the safe.
499
00:18:51,844 --> 00:18:53,304
They're using it to tunnel out of here.
500
00:18:53,388 --> 00:18:54,638
And those farts Gina kept smelling?
501
00:18:54,722 --> 00:18:56,097
Uh-huh. They were Ramon.
502
00:18:56,181 --> 00:18:57,432
PERALTA: No, it was sewage.
503
00:18:57,516 --> 00:18:58,933
And Ramon.
504
00:18:59,017 --> 00:19:01,310
We have to tell Terry they're
escaping through the sewers.
505
00:19:01,394 --> 00:19:02,936
What's a brother got
to do to get a wet wipe?
506
00:19:03,020 --> 00:19:04,063
Don't say that.
507
00:19:06,606 --> 00:19:08,608
Merry Christmas. Ho-ho-ho!
508
00:19:08,692 --> 00:19:09,859
I'm starving.
509
00:19:09,943 --> 00:19:11,793
"I'm starving"? We had a thing going!
510
00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:17,782
Jake! I'm so glad you're okay.
511
00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:21,034
Why? You were really worried about me?
Mmm-hmm.
512
00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:23,968
Also your face is so warm,
and I think I have hypothermia.
513
00:19:26,789 --> 00:19:28,165
Sergeant, we need to talk.
514
00:19:28,874 --> 00:19:31,292
I'm not in trouble for what
I did to the Vulture, am I?
515
00:19:31,376 --> 00:19:33,294
You think people will believe
he threw himself in the garbage?
516
00:19:33,378 --> 00:19:34,461
No.
517
00:19:34,545 --> 00:19:36,213
But this was a high-pressure situation,
518
00:19:36,297 --> 00:19:37,797
and you rose to the occasion.
519
00:19:37,881 --> 00:19:39,215
You may have saved lives tonight.
520
00:19:39,299 --> 00:19:40,508
The squad is my family,
521
00:19:40,592 --> 00:19:42,468
and I'll always protect my family.
522
00:19:42,552 --> 00:19:43,594
Except for Zeke.
523
00:19:43,678 --> 00:19:45,345
That deadbeat giant can fend for himself.
524
00:19:45,429 --> 00:19:47,931
There's a lieutenant's exam coming up,
525
00:19:48,015 --> 00:19:49,389
and I think you should take it.
526
00:19:49,473 --> 00:19:51,350
It's the next step to becoming a captain.
527
00:19:51,434 --> 00:19:53,726
I didn't do anything.
It was all Jake and Charles.
528
00:19:53,810 --> 00:19:55,604
Mmm. Spoken like a true captain.
529
00:19:56,813 --> 00:19:57,813
Also, you are in trouble.
530
00:19:57,897 --> 00:19:59,314
You're suspended one week.
531
00:19:59,398 --> 00:20:01,525
But you've got a bright future.
532
00:20:02,359 --> 00:20:04,009
But I'll need your badge and gun.
533
00:20:04,235 --> 00:20:05,986
[SIGHS] Hey, buddy.
534
00:20:06,070 --> 00:20:07,863
I couldn't find the cologne
you wanted to give Amy,
535
00:20:07,947 --> 00:20:10,657
but I did get a Canyon Stank giftset.
536
00:20:10,741 --> 00:20:13,825
It's all three Stanks,
plus the body spray.
537
00:20:13,909 --> 00:20:15,160
Oh, wow. Thanks, Charles.
538
00:20:15,244 --> 00:20:16,412
Yeah.
539
00:20:17,246 --> 00:20:20,331
Look, [SIGHS] I didn't forget Amy's gift.
540
00:20:20,415 --> 00:20:21,708
I forgot yours.
541
00:20:22,584 --> 00:20:24,167
The Canyon Stank was for you.
542
00:20:24,251 --> 00:20:26,462
What? Why didn't you just tell me?
543
00:20:27,171 --> 00:20:29,672
Oh, because it would have crushed
my heart and ruined our friendship.
544
00:20:29,756 --> 00:20:30,881
Good call.
545
00:20:30,965 --> 00:20:33,174
Look, it sucks, and I was selfish.
546
00:20:33,258 --> 00:20:35,260
I should have gotten you something better.
You did.
547
00:20:35,344 --> 00:20:37,511
You surrendered yourself to keep me safe.
548
00:20:37,595 --> 00:20:40,681
Not only that, you sacrificed
your John McClane moment.
549
00:20:40,765 --> 00:20:43,266
It should have been you saying,
"Yippie kayak, other buckets!"
550
00:20:43,350 --> 00:20:45,351
[SIGHS] I know you have the
moral high ground right now,
551
00:20:45,435 --> 00:20:46,985
but it still makes me so angry.
552
00:20:47,478 --> 00:20:49,938
Anyways, Merry Christmas, buddy.
553
00:20:50,189 --> 00:20:51,273
You, too, buddy.
554
00:20:51,357 --> 00:20:52,357
[GROANS]
555
00:20:54,442 --> 00:20:55,735
Gina!
556
00:20:59,279 --> 00:21:00,280
Hey.
557
00:21:00,947 --> 00:21:01,947
Hey!
558
00:21:02,323 --> 00:21:03,366
Hey!
559
00:21:04,367 --> 00:21:05,534
[GROANS]
560
00:21:06,369 --> 00:21:07,493
[CHEERING]
561
00:21:07,577 --> 00:21:10,580
It works! The flamethrower works!
562
00:21:10,664 --> 00:21:11,871
Yeah! No, Gina, no!
563
00:21:11,955 --> 00:21:13,081
Gina, no!
564
00:21:13,165 --> 00:21:14,625
Somebody take her down!