1
00:00:11,230 --> 00:00:13,148
Oh, my God.
2
00:00:13,232 --> 00:00:15,442
Rosa's wearing pink. Rosa's wearing pink!
3
00:00:15,567 --> 00:00:16,943
Are we sure it's not a white shirt
4
00:00:17,027 --> 00:00:19,112
that's just been bloodied
in a motorcycle crash?
5
00:00:19,196 --> 00:00:21,740
Or maybe it wasn't her.
Does she have a twin sister?
6
00:00:21,824 --> 00:00:24,658
If Rosa had a twin, she would
have eaten her in the womb.
7
00:00:24,742 --> 00:00:27,745
Wait. Hold it. Stop.
How come none of you teased her about it?
8
00:00:27,829 --> 00:00:29,288
It's Rosa. She's scary.
9
00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:31,373
You guys are unbelievable.
10
00:00:31,457 --> 00:00:33,417
I once wore a tie
with a splash of purple.
11
00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:35,294
You guys called me
Mr. Grapes for two years.
12
00:00:35,378 --> 00:00:37,421
-[ALL LAUGHING]
-GINA: Oh, Mr. Grapes!
13
00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:39,423
I forgot about Mr. Grapes.
14
00:00:39,756 --> 00:00:41,924
If I wore a pink shirt,
you'd tear me to shreds.
15
00:00:42,008 --> 00:00:44,344
Well, yeah, but you'd look
like a My Little Pony with a gun.
16
00:00:44,428 --> 00:00:45,678
[ALL LAUGHING]
17
00:00:45,762 --> 00:00:47,680
Let me guess.
Your theater club is putting on Grease
18
00:00:47,764 --> 00:00:49,057
and you're playing a pink lady.
19
00:00:49,141 --> 00:00:50,558
-[CONTINUES LAUGHING]
-PERALTA: Nice. That's good.
20
00:00:50,642 --> 00:00:51,684
What are you guys laughing at?
21
00:00:51,768 --> 00:00:53,269
If Boyle was wearing a pink shirt.
22
00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:54,686
I get it. That's hilarious.
23
00:00:54,770 --> 00:00:57,481
What's happening?
Rosa's the one wearing pink!
24
00:00:58,357 --> 00:00:59,400
And?
25
00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:02,527
It's gorgeous.
Wish I could pull that off.
26
00:01:02,611 --> 00:01:04,112
Dream on, strawberry shortcake.
27
00:01:04,196 --> 00:01:05,864
Yeah, nice try, Mr. Grapes.
28
00:01:05,948 --> 00:01:07,032
[ALL LAUGHING]
29
00:01:07,116 --> 00:01:10,743
ALL [MOCKING]: Mr. Grapes!
30
00:01:10,827 --> 00:01:12,829
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
31
00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:33,014
Last night, several masked men robbed
32
00:01:33,098 --> 00:01:35,100
a number of check cashing
locations in our precinct.
33
00:01:35,184 --> 00:01:36,351
They also hit several locations
34
00:01:36,435 --> 00:01:37,477
in the Nine-Three,
35
00:01:37,561 --> 00:01:39,437
so this will be a joint investigation.
36
00:01:39,521 --> 00:01:42,356
Detective David Majors
is already on the case.
37
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:44,692
Whoa. Dave Majors? Seriously?
38
00:01:44,776 --> 00:01:45,901
GINA: Who's that?
39
00:01:45,985 --> 00:01:48,696
He's the best detective in
the NYPD, myself included.
40
00:01:48,780 --> 00:01:51,031
His arrest numbers are staggering.
41
00:01:51,115 --> 00:01:53,534
His conviction rate is magnificent.
42
00:01:53,618 --> 00:01:55,327
He is blotter dynamite.
43
00:01:56,495 --> 00:01:58,538
I mean, I'm cool.
I'm just hanging out with you guys.
44
00:01:58,622 --> 00:02:00,373
Okay, but what's his body like,
45
00:02:00,457 --> 00:02:02,375
on a scale from Charles to Terry?
46
00:02:02,751 --> 00:02:04,043
Sorry, buddy.
47
00:02:04,127 --> 00:02:06,087
What? I'm the 10.
48
00:02:06,505 --> 00:02:07,547
Sure you are.
49
00:02:07,631 --> 00:02:09,382
Majors does just fine.
50
00:02:09,466 --> 00:02:11,758
His girlfriend is the
weather lady from Channel 5.
51
00:02:11,842 --> 00:02:13,719
You know, the one who's
always reaching for Cooperstown?
52
00:02:13,803 --> 00:02:15,387
[WHISTLING] Love her.
53
00:02:15,471 --> 00:02:16,805
Well, I need someone
to partner up with him.
54
00:02:16,889 --> 00:02:17,931
Oh, I'll do it! Ooh! Me, me, me, me, me!
55
00:02:18,015 --> 00:02:19,933
Sir, with all due respect,
I'm the obvious choice.
56
00:02:20,017 --> 00:02:22,645
I mean, look at me. Not in profile.
57
00:02:22,895 --> 00:02:24,229
Sir, please let the record show
58
00:02:24,313 --> 00:02:26,230
that the sauce on his
face is from yesterday.
59
00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:28,065
And it is that level of
eagle-eyed observation
60
00:02:28,149 --> 00:02:29,483
-that I plan to bring to…
-HOLT: Enough.
61
00:02:29,567 --> 00:02:30,917
You can both work the case.
62
00:02:31,027 --> 00:02:32,528
Three heads are better than two.
63
00:02:32,612 --> 00:02:35,448
Also, I fear any other decision I
make will just result in further noise.
64
00:02:35,532 --> 00:02:36,574
Good call, sir.
65
00:02:36,658 --> 00:02:37,742
I was just about to start chanting
66
00:02:37,826 --> 00:02:38,909
"Vote for Jake."
67
00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:40,911
Let's do it anyway. Vote for Jake!
68
00:02:40,995 --> 00:02:42,245
Vote for Jake! Dismissed.
69
00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:43,747
Yeah. [SIGHS]
70
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:46,916
Code Chartreuse.
I repeat, Code Chartreuse.
71
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,753
Gina, for the last time, please
limit your alerts to ROY-G-BIV.
72
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,755
Disappointing. Code Chartreuse means
73
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:53,465
the recruiter from Copperhead Security,
74
00:02:53,549 --> 00:02:54,758
Gary Shaw, is here.
75
00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:56,842
Gary Shaw has attempted to pry me away
76
00:02:56,926 --> 00:02:58,927
from the NYPD for eight years.
77
00:02:59,011 --> 00:03:01,556
When he makes his offer,
I know just what I'll say.
78
00:03:02,306 --> 00:03:04,851
Never is not just a crater on Mars.
79
00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:06,435
Of course, it is a crater on Mars.
80
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:07,561
That's hilarious.
81
00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:10,795
It's not meant to be funny, Boyle.
It's meant to be devastating.
82
00:03:11,148 --> 00:03:12,691
Captain Holt, good to see you.
83
00:03:12,941 --> 00:03:15,694
Mr. Shaw, let's just cut to the chase.
84
00:03:16,194 --> 00:03:18,530
Never is not just a crater on Mars.
85
00:03:22,784 --> 00:03:24,327
Of course, it is a crater on Mars.
86
00:03:24,411 --> 00:03:25,787
Well actually, I'm not here for you.
87
00:03:25,871 --> 00:03:28,288
A member of your squad reached out to me.
88
00:03:28,372 --> 00:03:29,790
A Sergeant Terry Jeffords.
89
00:03:30,666 --> 00:03:33,126
Oh. Oh, I see.
90
00:03:33,210 --> 00:03:36,005
Well, uh, Sergeant Jeffords is out there.
91
00:03:36,297 --> 00:03:37,547
GARY: Thank you, Captain.
92
00:03:37,965 --> 00:03:40,259
There's my guy! Terry the tank!
93
00:03:40,509 --> 00:03:43,386
What? Guys? What? Guys.
94
00:03:43,636 --> 00:03:45,930
BOYLE: Terry called him?
He's shaking Terry's hand.
95
00:03:46,014 --> 00:03:47,723
Now, I'm just describing
everything that's happening.
96
00:03:47,807 --> 00:03:49,016
What the hell is going on?
97
00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:50,184
I do not know.
98
00:03:50,268 --> 00:03:52,020
And now Captain Holt doesn't know!
99
00:03:59,067 --> 00:04:02,029
Well, well, well. What do we have here?
100
00:04:02,863 --> 00:04:04,113
Oh, Majors isn't here yet?
101
00:04:04,197 --> 00:04:06,533
I wasted all that coolness
on a bunch of nobodies.
102
00:04:06,617 --> 00:04:10,037
I'm just gonna reset.
[MIMICS ROBOTIC SOUND]
103
00:04:10,871 --> 00:04:12,789
Jake, he's a highly decorated detective.
104
00:04:12,873 --> 00:04:15,415
He's not gonna be impressed
by your sunglass choreography.
105
00:04:15,499 --> 00:04:17,709
He's gonna be too
distracted by my notebook flip.
106
00:04:17,793 --> 00:04:18,836
MAN: Hey, Detective.
107
00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:20,963
Shut up. Shut up. He's here.
[CLEARS THROAT]
108
00:04:21,047 --> 00:04:23,423
Hey, you must be the Nine-Nine.
I'm Majors.
109
00:04:23,507 --> 00:04:25,801
Hey. Peralta. This is Santiago.
110
00:04:26,427 --> 00:04:29,220
Well, well, well. What do we have here?
111
00:04:29,304 --> 00:04:30,847
You mean here in my notebook?
112
00:04:31,556 --> 00:04:33,307
I looked into the baby
masks the perps were wearing,
113
00:04:33,391 --> 00:04:35,393
and no stores in the
tri-state area sell them.
114
00:04:35,477 --> 00:04:37,353
Reminds me of a murder
I worked a few years back.
115
00:04:37,437 --> 00:04:38,771
Perp always wore these weird masks
116
00:04:38,855 --> 00:04:40,439
and we couldn't figure
out where he bought them.
117
00:04:40,523 --> 00:04:43,485
Turns out he was making his
own masks from human skin.
118
00:04:44,026 --> 00:04:46,904
No! That is so awesome.
119
00:04:47,404 --> 00:04:48,906
Really, Amy? For whom?
120
00:04:49,073 --> 00:04:53,077
Sounds to me like those face masks
were once somebody's face faces.
121
00:04:53,410 --> 00:04:55,910
That's true, Peralta.
I think about that every day.
122
00:04:56,246 --> 00:04:58,415
You and me both. Ahh.
123
00:04:58,998 --> 00:05:01,834
Okay, I'm gonna look
around, take a few statements.
124
00:05:01,918 --> 00:05:03,961
GC. GC. Good call. Good call. Yeah.
125
00:05:04,045 --> 00:05:05,629
Tight, tight, tight, tight, tight.
126
00:05:05,713 --> 00:05:08,424
Well, looks like round
one goes to Peralta.
127
00:05:08,508 --> 00:05:09,925
And don't worry, I'm
just getting warmed up.
128
00:05:10,009 --> 00:05:14,222
I still have eight sunglass moves
locked and loaded. Make that nine.
129
00:05:15,180 --> 00:05:16,431
Oui.
130
00:05:19,059 --> 00:05:20,268
[IMITATES BIRD SQUAWK]
131
00:05:20,686 --> 00:05:21,769
[IMITATES OWL HOOT]
132
00:05:21,853 --> 00:05:23,062
[CLEARS THROAT]
133
00:05:23,146 --> 00:05:25,399
So, how was lunch?
134
00:05:25,983 --> 00:05:28,151
It was good. I had the T-bone with…
135
00:05:28,235 --> 00:05:29,651
I don't give a crap about the food.
136
00:05:29,735 --> 00:05:31,362
Just email me about that later.
137
00:05:31,570 --> 00:05:32,696
What happened with Gary?
138
00:05:32,780 --> 00:05:36,283
He gave me the hard sell.
Look at all this swag I got.
139
00:05:36,993 --> 00:05:39,245
Puffy vest, carabiner.
140
00:05:39,453 --> 00:05:40,996
Terry, carabiners suck.
141
00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:44,041
You want free stuff?
Here you go, all right?
142
00:05:44,125 --> 00:05:46,334
You can have anything you
want from Amy's desk. Yeah.
143
00:05:46,418 --> 00:05:47,518
Gary made me an offer.
144
00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:52,924
Better hours, great
benefits, a serious pay raise,
145
00:05:53,008 --> 00:05:54,801
my own office. With walls!
146
00:05:55,093 --> 00:05:56,928
Did you tell him Terry
doesn't love walls?
147
00:05:57,012 --> 00:05:58,596
No. Terry loves walls.
148
00:05:59,222 --> 00:06:01,473
I'm seriously considering saying yes.
149
00:06:01,557 --> 00:06:03,266
Look, I have another kid on the way.
150
00:06:03,350 --> 00:06:04,768
Do you know how much diapers cost?
151
00:06:04,852 --> 00:06:05,894
Yes.
152
00:06:10,024 --> 00:06:13,235
The point is, I'm trying to
do what's best for my family.
153
00:06:13,777 --> 00:06:14,903
It's not just about me.
154
00:06:14,987 --> 00:06:20,033
Exactly. It's about me. And how
you're abandoning me to these squares.
155
00:06:21,909 --> 00:06:24,161
Yikes. Look at all these baby masks.
156
00:06:24,245 --> 00:06:26,872
Looks like someone's due
for a spanking from Papa Law.
157
00:06:26,956 --> 00:06:27,998
Nice.
158
00:06:28,082 --> 00:06:32,544
So, the van was stolen from a rental lot
three weeks ago and dumped here yesterday.
159
00:06:32,961 --> 00:06:35,047
Talk about a curb-side drop-off.
160
00:06:36,631 --> 00:06:37,715
We're working a case here, Amy.
161
00:06:37,799 --> 00:06:39,399
It's not Showtime at the Apollo.
162
00:06:39,968 --> 00:06:41,818
Great point. Thank you so much, Jake.
163
00:06:42,304 --> 00:06:45,057
Well, I'm gonna go sign
the van over to forensics.
164
00:06:47,308 --> 00:06:50,394
Hey, listen, I'm a member of this
invite-only speakeasy called The Keychain.
165
00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:51,812
Do you want to go
get a drink there later?
166
00:06:51,896 --> 00:06:54,106
I'd ask Amy also, but I
can only bring one guest.
167
00:06:54,190 --> 00:06:56,441
Nah, it's cool.
I'm sure she's busy tonight anyway.
168
00:06:56,525 --> 00:06:57,901
Taxes are due in eight months.
169
00:06:57,985 --> 00:06:59,611
Actually, they were due two weeks ago.
170
00:06:59,695 --> 00:07:03,114
Well, that is a horrible surprise.
But the point is…
171
00:07:03,198 --> 00:07:04,908
[SNAPS] Drink sounds good.
172
00:07:06,076 --> 00:07:07,243
[PERALTA SIGHS]
173
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:08,703
[MUFFLED MUSIC PLAYING]
174
00:07:14,876 --> 00:07:15,919
Password?
175
00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:17,419
Tropical.
176
00:07:21,298 --> 00:07:24,510
Oh, my gah.
177
00:07:25,969 --> 00:07:28,513
This place is amazing.
178
00:07:28,597 --> 00:07:30,515
Yeah, I come here
after every case I solve.
179
00:07:30,599 --> 00:07:31,766
Which means I'm here a lot.
180
00:07:31,850 --> 00:07:34,268
Oh, nice. Every time I solve
one, I go get a steak dinner.
181
00:07:34,352 --> 00:07:36,311
My cholesterol is uh-terrible.
182
00:07:36,395 --> 00:07:38,439
[CHUCKLING] Milo,
this is my friend, Jake.
183
00:07:38,523 --> 00:07:39,773
We're working a case together.
184
00:07:39,857 --> 00:07:41,400
Yeah, and this is my friend, Dave.
185
00:07:41,484 --> 00:07:43,027
We're friends. I'll have a, uh…
186
00:07:43,111 --> 00:07:44,561
Oh, no. You don't order here.
187
00:07:45,029 --> 00:07:47,864
Milo makes you a drink he knows
you'll love, and then you love it.
188
00:07:47,948 --> 00:07:49,282
Really? Interesting.
189
00:07:49,366 --> 00:07:50,867
Barrel proof bourbon, neat.
190
00:07:51,701 --> 00:07:52,785
Orange soda chaser.
191
00:07:52,869 --> 00:07:54,537
Oh, well, to the first of many hangs.
192
00:07:54,621 --> 00:07:56,706
Yeah, totally. Listen.
193
00:07:57,290 --> 00:07:59,542
The reason I brought you
here is I wanted to ask you…
194
00:07:59,626 --> 00:08:00,877
What's the deal with Santiago?
195
00:08:00,961 --> 00:08:03,295
Amy? Oh, no, did she do something weird?
196
00:08:03,379 --> 00:08:04,546
No. No, she's great.
197
00:08:04,630 --> 00:08:07,132
I just wanted to know if there's
something going on with you two, you know.
198
00:08:07,216 --> 00:08:09,677
Are you together… Oh. No.
199
00:08:10,136 --> 00:08:12,846
Cool. When this case is
over, I'm gonna ask her out.
200
00:08:12,930 --> 00:08:14,056
Oh.
201
00:08:14,265 --> 00:08:17,017
You're gonna ask out
Amy when the case ends.
202
00:08:17,101 --> 00:08:18,268
Perfect.
203
00:08:19,727 --> 00:08:20,936
Oh. [GASPS]
204
00:08:21,020 --> 00:08:22,480
Yeah, that's a sipping whiskey.
205
00:08:22,564 --> 00:08:25,108
[GASPING] So it is.
206
00:08:36,118 --> 00:08:37,160
Seems about right.
207
00:08:37,244 --> 00:08:38,286
What's wrong with you?
208
00:08:38,370 --> 00:08:42,248
You and Majors have too much
fun last night at The Keychain?
209
00:08:42,332 --> 00:08:44,793
Okay.
It's a private bar, not a haunted motel.
210
00:08:44,877 --> 00:08:46,753
And no, I did not have a good time.
211
00:08:47,129 --> 00:08:48,879
Turns out he didn't want
to be best bros at all.
212
00:08:48,963 --> 00:08:50,130
He just wanted to know
if I was cool him with
213
00:08:50,214 --> 00:08:51,715
asking Amy out when the case ended.
214
00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:52,883
I thought he was
dating that weather girl.
215
00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:55,135
No, he dumped her 'cause she blamed
Hurricane Sandy on gay marriage.
216
00:08:55,219 --> 00:08:56,804
Mmm. Anyways, now when the case ends,
217
00:08:56,888 --> 00:08:59,556
Amy's gonna marry
Detective Blotter Dynamite.
218
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,642
Why do you even care?
Do you still like her?
219
00:09:01,726 --> 00:09:03,769
I don't know. I mean, we're friends.
220
00:09:04,352 --> 00:09:05,978
Things have been kind of flirty lately.
221
00:09:06,062 --> 00:09:08,648
Plus, we had this weird
romantic moment thingy
222
00:09:08,732 --> 00:09:10,108
at Charles and Gina's parents' wedding.
223
00:09:10,192 --> 00:09:11,484
Ugh, just say you still like her.
224
00:09:11,568 --> 00:09:13,653
[SOFTLY] All right, fine.
I still like her.
225
00:09:13,737 --> 00:09:14,821
I've been thinking about asking her out
226
00:09:14,905 --> 00:09:16,739
for the last couple of
weeks, but it's hard.
227
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:18,157
There's so much buildup now, you know?
228
00:09:18,241 --> 00:09:20,659
Not really. I don't ask people out,
I just tell them where we're going.
229
00:09:20,743 --> 00:09:22,327
Great.
Well, it doesn't matter now anyway,
230
00:09:22,411 --> 00:09:23,578
'cause I told Dave to go for it.
231
00:09:23,662 --> 00:09:24,762
That was crazy stupid.
232
00:09:25,414 --> 00:09:26,915
Sorry. That was normal stupid.
233
00:09:26,999 --> 00:09:28,041
You should have told him to back off.
234
00:09:28,125 --> 00:09:29,918
I can't go around telling
guys not to ask Amy out
235
00:09:30,002 --> 00:09:32,003
because I like her and I'm too
dumb to do anything about it.
236
00:09:32,087 --> 00:09:34,630
I can't make a woman's choice for her.
I stand with Wendy.
237
00:09:34,714 --> 00:09:35,840
Did I do that right? No.
238
00:09:35,924 --> 00:09:38,342
Oh. Look.
If you want to give her a real choice,
239
00:09:38,426 --> 00:09:41,095
you've got to let her know
that you are an option.
240
00:09:42,180 --> 00:09:44,380
I think you know what you've got to do.
Yeah.
241
00:09:45,058 --> 00:09:46,433
Ask her out before the case ends, right?
242
00:09:46,517 --> 00:09:50,467
I just wanna be extra clear. The stakes
are through the roof for me on this one.
243
00:09:53,273 --> 00:09:54,323
You wanted to see us?
244
00:09:54,524 --> 00:09:55,859
What are these requisition forms?
245
00:09:55,943 --> 00:09:59,195
We are throwing Terry
a "please stay" party.
246
00:09:59,279 --> 00:10:02,824
My vision is a frozen yogurt
machine operated by Pam Grier.
247
00:10:02,908 --> 00:10:06,285
Sir, we think Sarge is going
to accept Copperhead's offer.
248
00:10:06,619 --> 00:10:08,203
I never thought I'd say these words.
249
00:10:08,287 --> 00:10:10,289
You have to put Gina
in touch with Pam Grier.
250
00:10:10,373 --> 00:10:12,457
No. Sergeant Jeffords can
make up his mind without
251
00:10:12,541 --> 00:10:15,002
the influence of Foxy
Brown or cold yogurt.
252
00:10:15,086 --> 00:10:16,128
He is a grown man.
253
00:10:16,212 --> 00:10:18,214
Oh, I see what's going on here.
254
00:10:18,381 --> 00:10:21,675
You're upset that Terry would
even consider leaving the Nine-Nine.
255
00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:25,678
I'd expect this pettiness from a
spineless amoeba like Charles,
256
00:10:25,762 --> 00:10:26,805
but not you, sir.
257
00:10:27,013 --> 00:10:28,723
I'm not spineless. Come on, Charles.
258
00:10:28,807 --> 00:10:29,891
Yep.
259
00:10:31,268 --> 00:10:33,227
Ah, look who's finally here.
260
00:10:33,311 --> 00:10:34,729
We already solved the case without you.
261
00:10:34,813 --> 00:10:35,937
What? You did?
262
00:10:36,021 --> 00:10:39,149
Kidding. Oliver was actually
giving us some pretty bad news.
263
00:10:39,233 --> 00:10:40,275
Carry on, Oliver.
264
00:10:40,359 --> 00:10:42,903
So, we swabbed the whole
van and we didn't find anything.
265
00:10:42,987 --> 00:10:45,238
No hairs, no fibers, no semen.
266
00:10:45,322 --> 00:10:46,573
And a rental van is usually
267
00:10:46,657 --> 00:10:48,658
a fricking Jackson Pollock. All right.
268
00:10:48,742 --> 00:10:51,702
They also wiped down the masks
with some sort of bleach solution.
269
00:10:51,786 --> 00:10:54,386
They were really covering their tracks.
Check it out.
270
00:10:55,039 --> 00:10:56,498
Well, that wasn't very helpful.
271
00:10:56,582 --> 00:10:59,293
Although, I did learn I should
never rent a van again. Hmm.
272
00:10:59,377 --> 00:11:01,420
Hey, can I talk to you for a second?
Privately?
273
00:11:01,504 --> 00:11:04,465
Uh, sure. Oh, wait. This isn't gonna
be that thing where you pretend
274
00:11:04,549 --> 00:11:07,675
you got an important text from Holt and
it's just that video of screaming sheep?
275
00:11:07,759 --> 00:11:10,359
I promise you it's not, but
I do stand by that prank.
276
00:11:11,263 --> 00:11:12,305
[CLEARS THROAT]
277
00:11:12,389 --> 00:11:13,724
So, what's up?
278
00:11:14,349 --> 00:11:15,684
Okay, um…
279
00:11:16,226 --> 00:11:20,605
Uh, I almost feel weird saying
this, but I wanted to ask you…
280
00:11:20,689 --> 00:11:22,439
Wow, those pictures are not helping.
281
00:11:22,523 --> 00:11:26,944
Oh, my God. They're really gonna have
to re-grout. Ugh, finding a contractor.
282
00:11:27,028 --> 00:11:30,489
You are so consistent. Anyways,
the question I wanted to ask you is…
283
00:11:30,573 --> 00:11:32,407
So, I got the results on that feces.
284
00:11:32,491 --> 00:11:35,036
It's human, but it's not all human.
285
00:11:35,369 --> 00:11:36,495
You're not Dr. Gassner.
286
00:11:36,579 --> 00:11:38,287
We are not. Can you give us a sec?
287
00:11:38,371 --> 00:11:39,956
Sure. Real quick, what was the other…
288
00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:41,875
It's dog and bear. Wow.
289
00:11:42,709 --> 00:11:44,877
I thought you'd really
be into that feces puzzle.
290
00:11:44,961 --> 00:11:48,214
Normally, yes, but I want to talk to
you about something else right now.
291
00:11:48,298 --> 00:11:50,341
More specifically…
Guys, dispatch just called.
292
00:11:50,425 --> 00:11:53,385
Great, Dave's here now. The check
cashing babies just struck on Flatbush.
293
00:11:53,469 --> 00:11:55,346
-We gotta go.
-SANTIAGO: Lead the way.
294
00:11:56,388 --> 00:11:58,432
What did you wanna tell me? Oh, um.
295
00:11:58,807 --> 00:12:01,142
Captain Holt sent a very important text.
296
00:12:01,226 --> 00:12:02,269
Oh.
297
00:12:02,811 --> 00:12:04,229
[SHEEP BLEATING]
298
00:12:08,274 --> 00:12:09,400
[CHUCKLES]
299
00:12:10,318 --> 00:12:12,362
[SNIFFING] What's that smell?
300
00:12:13,154 --> 00:12:15,572
That's lavender. Terry loves lavender.
301
00:12:15,656 --> 00:12:20,703
A little homemade honey yogurt
infused with lavender and love.
302
00:12:20,787 --> 00:12:23,789
Mmm! That is delicious.
303
00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:28,334
Hold it. This isn't some weird
breast milk or something is it, Boyle?
304
00:12:28,418 --> 00:12:30,628
I mean, technically, it's
from a sheep's breast.
305
00:12:30,712 --> 00:12:32,797
Hey, Terry, got any new baby pics?
306
00:12:32,881 --> 00:12:34,841
You hate looking at pictures of my twins.
307
00:12:34,925 --> 00:12:37,677
You said since they were identical,
I didn't need to take photos of both.
308
00:12:37,761 --> 00:12:41,013
That doesn't sound like Auntie Gina.
I love your baby pics.
309
00:12:41,097 --> 00:12:44,475
[GASPS] And your stories
about the twins' sleep schedules.
310
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:46,894
Okay. I know what you two are doing.
311
00:12:47,269 --> 00:12:51,107
This is your weird way of trying
to make me stay at the Nine-Nine.
312
00:12:51,315 --> 00:12:53,651
Well, I am loving it.
313
00:12:53,776 --> 00:12:54,859
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
314
00:12:54,943 --> 00:12:57,361
You know, the funny thing
is, Cagney naps better,
315
00:12:57,445 --> 00:12:59,739
but at night, that's
Lacey's time to shine.
316
00:12:59,823 --> 00:13:01,240
One time, she went eight to eight.
317
00:13:01,324 --> 00:13:02,408
Wow! Dang!
318
00:13:02,492 --> 00:13:03,534
I know!
319
00:13:03,618 --> 00:13:07,204
Jeffords, I need you to digitize all
your case files from 1995 to 1999
320
00:13:07,288 --> 00:13:09,124
inclusive by tomorrow at 9 a.m.
321
00:13:09,498 --> 00:13:10,749
But it's already 1:00.
322
00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:12,793
I told Sharon we'd have dinner tonight.
323
00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:14,544
I was gonna have a cup of coffee
324
00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:17,672
so that I could stay up and, um, kiss.
325
00:13:17,756 --> 00:13:19,549
I suggest putting that caffeine
326
00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:21,802
towards something more productive than…
327
00:13:22,678 --> 00:13:23,720
"Kissing."
328
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:25,971
Sir, what are you doing?
329
00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:29,683
Making sure Jeffords' case files
are digitized by tomorrow at 9 a.m.
330
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:31,477
I thought I was perfectly clear.
331
00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:35,606
I gotta call my wife.
Tell her date night is off.
332
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:39,277
I sent her all those kiss-face
emojis for no damned reason.
333
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:44,781
Oh, no. Despite what I've been saying
for years, that ass just might quit.
334
00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:48,576
I don't get it. There's no rhyme
or reason to the locations they hit.
335
00:13:48,660 --> 00:13:50,161
MAJORS: This place was so well-guarded.
336
00:13:50,245 --> 00:13:53,206
I mean, why not hit the one down the
street that just has an old man out front?
337
00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:54,541
It just seems so random.
338
00:13:55,666 --> 00:13:58,711
Yeah. It's like… Oh, that feels great.
339
00:13:59,086 --> 00:14:02,086
I don't think it's random.
These guys are too good, you know?
340
00:14:02,548 --> 00:14:04,925
We'll crack it.
I'm gonna go grab some coffee.
341
00:14:05,009 --> 00:14:06,051
Great.
342
00:14:06,510 --> 00:14:07,720
[GROANING]
343
00:14:08,762 --> 00:14:10,263
Hey, uh, now that it's just us,
344
00:14:10,347 --> 00:14:15,226
there's a thing I wanted
to say a-da-sa you.
345
00:14:15,852 --> 00:14:17,561
Why doesn't your mouth work?
"Why doesn't your mouth work."
346
00:14:17,645 --> 00:14:18,687
Title of our sex tape. What?
347
00:14:18,771 --> 00:14:21,816
Your sex tape. What? No.
Look. [CLEARS THROAT]
348
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:23,860
Here's what I wanted to say.
349
00:14:24,819 --> 00:14:26,445
Oh, no, I just figured it out.
350
00:14:26,653 --> 00:14:28,571
Huh? Here. Look.
351
00:14:28,655 --> 00:14:30,740
The trash cans, the van, the jumpsuit…
352
00:14:30,824 --> 00:14:33,243
They all say Johnny's Janitorial.
Not random.
353
00:14:33,327 --> 00:14:35,286
They cased each location as cleaners.
354
00:14:35,370 --> 00:14:37,163
That's why the van was so spotless.
355
00:14:37,247 --> 00:14:38,331
Hey. What'd I miss?
356
00:14:38,415 --> 00:14:39,666
Jake just solved the case!
357
00:14:39,750 --> 00:14:41,626
Holy crap. That's awesome!
358
00:14:42,877 --> 00:14:43,919
All right!
359
00:14:44,003 --> 00:14:45,546
I mean… But, you know,
360
00:14:45,630 --> 00:14:47,089
it's not totally done yet.
361
00:14:47,173 --> 00:14:48,715
You know, still a long way to go.
362
00:14:48,799 --> 00:14:52,219
Tons of paperwork. And a case is never
truly done until the trial is complete
363
00:14:52,303 --> 00:14:55,973
and the sentence is served
completely to its fruition in prison.
364
00:14:56,057 --> 00:14:57,599
Jake, just celebrate.
365
00:14:58,058 --> 00:14:59,100
Okay.
366
00:14:59,809 --> 00:15:01,478
[HIGH-PITCHED] Wow!
367
00:15:05,190 --> 00:15:06,357
Why the long face?
368
00:15:06,441 --> 00:15:08,317
That Mexican candy giving
you nerve damage again?
369
00:15:08,401 --> 00:15:10,195
Probably, but who even cares?
370
00:15:10,529 --> 00:15:11,862
Why did I have to solve the case?
371
00:15:11,946 --> 00:15:14,364
Why couldn't I have just let those
guys continue to terrorize Brooklyn
372
00:15:14,448 --> 00:15:16,158
until I built up the
nerve to ask out a girl?
373
00:15:16,242 --> 00:15:18,326
You're a good cop.
Do not beat yourself up about that.
374
00:15:18,410 --> 00:15:21,621
I'm not a good cop, I'm an amazing
cop, and I'll never forgive myself.
375
00:15:21,705 --> 00:15:24,666
The case is over, Amy and Majors are
on their way to The Keychain right now.
376
00:15:24,750 --> 00:15:26,626
It's too late.
Has she done the double tuck yet?
377
00:15:26,710 --> 00:15:28,252
Hmm? When Amy really likes a guy,
378
00:15:28,336 --> 00:15:31,786
she gets nervous and tucks her
hair behind both ears at the same time.
379
00:15:32,173 --> 00:15:33,550
[GIGGLING]
380
00:15:34,259 --> 00:15:35,926
Well, I can never un-see that.
381
00:15:36,010 --> 00:15:37,636
But no, she has not done that yet.
382
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:40,620
Then there's still time.
Get in there and bust up her date.
383
00:15:41,057 --> 00:15:43,183
Show her you care. Ruin her night.
384
00:15:43,350 --> 00:15:45,250
You really have a unique take on love.
385
00:15:48,730 --> 00:15:49,773
[SIGHS]
386
00:15:50,315 --> 00:15:53,234
Ugh, I've only gotten
through September of '95.
387
00:15:53,318 --> 00:15:54,611
What are you guys doing here?
388
00:15:54,695 --> 00:15:56,196
Blowing your stupid mind.
389
00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:57,821
We did the rest of the files for you.
390
00:15:57,905 --> 00:16:01,200
Seriously?
[LAUGHS] I'm gonna text my wife.
391
00:16:01,784 --> 00:16:04,286
Now there's time for dinner and a movie.
392
00:16:04,370 --> 00:16:06,247
And none of that on-demand crap.
393
00:16:06,455 --> 00:16:09,708
Tonight, I'm gonna fall
asleep in a real movie theater.
394
00:16:09,792 --> 00:16:12,377
Yeah, that's how we
do it in the Nine-Nine.
395
00:16:12,461 --> 00:16:14,795
We've got each other's backs. Damn right.
396
00:16:14,879 --> 00:16:16,964
Charles, make your own point.
397
00:16:17,048 --> 00:16:18,549
Don't just pile onto mine.
398
00:16:18,633 --> 00:16:19,800
HOLT: Gina, where have you been?
399
00:16:19,884 --> 00:16:22,220
You left your cell phone on your
desk, and I assumed you were dead.
400
00:16:22,304 --> 00:16:24,555
Mmm, I would clearly
be buried with my phone.
401
00:16:24,639 --> 00:16:28,684
Sir, these guys already
digitized all my files for me.
402
00:16:28,892 --> 00:16:29,976
Isn't that amazing?
403
00:16:30,060 --> 00:16:32,395
What? Why did you snatch
up Sergeant Jefford's task?
404
00:16:32,479 --> 00:16:34,397
Because we're trying to get him to stay.
405
00:16:34,481 --> 00:16:35,815
Well, that's not your job.
406
00:16:35,899 --> 00:16:39,653
And Jeffords, you can stay here and
digitize 2000 through 2005 inclusive.
407
00:16:39,737 --> 00:16:41,337
I expect it done by the morning.
408
00:16:44,699 --> 00:16:47,118
Great. Now I have to re-cancel on Sharon.
409
00:16:47,619 --> 00:16:49,996
If I worked at Copperhead,
I'd be home by now.
410
00:16:50,330 --> 00:16:53,750
Swimming in a pool of gold coins
like my boy, Scrooge McDuck.
411
00:16:54,042 --> 00:16:55,543
[MUFFLED MUSIC PLAYING]
412
00:16:58,421 --> 00:16:59,462
Password?
413
00:16:59,546 --> 00:17:00,588
Tropical.
414
00:17:00,672 --> 00:17:03,258
Mmm-mmm. That's an old password.
415
00:17:03,342 --> 00:17:04,384
Changes every night.
416
00:17:05,177 --> 00:17:08,012
All right, fine. Tropical one?
417
00:17:08,096 --> 00:17:09,696
Wait, wait, wait, wait! [GRUNTS]
418
00:17:10,223 --> 00:17:11,474
Ahh!
419
00:17:11,558 --> 00:17:14,268
Ha-ha! Not cool. Okay?
420
00:17:14,352 --> 00:17:17,145
Look, just ask Milo, the bartender.
All right? He knows me.
421
00:17:17,229 --> 00:17:18,605
Tell him orange soda's back.
422
00:17:18,689 --> 00:17:19,899
I don't know no Milo.
423
00:17:20,149 --> 00:17:22,985
The bartenders also change
their names every night.
424
00:17:23,069 --> 00:17:25,780
Get out of here until you
know the password, man.
425
00:17:26,697 --> 00:17:28,908
Damn it! This place is so cool.
426
00:17:31,493 --> 00:17:34,329
Come on, strangers. Show me your lips.
427
00:17:35,038 --> 00:17:37,374
There you go. Got it.
428
00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:40,210
[CLEARS THROAT]
429
00:17:44,255 --> 00:17:45,297
Pepper.
430
00:17:45,381 --> 00:17:46,423
Pooper.
431
00:17:49,885 --> 00:17:50,928
Popcorn.
432
00:17:54,056 --> 00:17:56,433
Plor-pa-pa. Plorp.
433
00:17:57,142 --> 00:17:58,352
Park. Parks.
434
00:17:59,812 --> 00:18:00,853
Okay.
435
00:18:07,026 --> 00:18:08,069
Yeah.
436
00:18:08,986 --> 00:18:10,279
Norse.
437
00:18:11,906 --> 00:18:13,700
[MUSIC PLAYING]
438
00:18:15,826 --> 00:18:16,868
Bull's eye.
439
00:18:18,870 --> 00:18:20,455
Oh, no. The double tuck.
440
00:18:21,832 --> 00:18:23,208
[CLEARING THROAT]
441
00:18:23,583 --> 00:18:25,127
Oh, hey!
442
00:18:25,794 --> 00:18:27,211
You wouldn't kick out a hopeless romantic
443
00:18:27,295 --> 00:18:29,088
who's only here in the
name of love, would you?
444
00:18:29,172 --> 00:18:30,257
Oh, you would.
445
00:18:35,511 --> 00:18:39,097
Terry!
So, what happened at breakfast with Gary?
446
00:18:39,181 --> 00:18:40,223
Are you leaving us for Copperhead?
447
00:18:40,307 --> 00:18:43,227
Because I am prepared to
light Charles on fire in protest.
448
00:18:43,602 --> 00:18:47,438
Relax. I declined the offer,
told them I wasn't interested.
449
00:18:47,522 --> 00:18:48,564
Eat it, Gary!
450
00:18:48,648 --> 00:18:50,098
I gave him back all his swag.
451
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:54,279
Except for the puffy
vest, which, I, uh, lost.
452
00:19:01,869 --> 00:19:03,620
I'm staying at the Nine-Nine!
453
00:19:03,704 --> 00:19:04,788
Whoo!
454
00:19:05,789 --> 00:19:07,374
HOLT: Good news, Sergeant.
455
00:19:08,417 --> 00:19:11,545
Really? So, you're done
trying to push him out, Yoko?
456
00:19:11,754 --> 00:19:15,674
Whoa. Don't give Captain Holt a hard time.
He's the reason I'm staying.
457
00:19:15,758 --> 00:19:17,049
I don't know what you're talking about.
458
00:19:17,133 --> 00:19:19,583
You're an adult and you
came to your own decision.
459
00:19:20,094 --> 00:19:22,263
Look at me. I can't keep a straight face.
460
00:19:22,597 --> 00:19:24,265
I played you like a fiddle.
461
00:19:24,432 --> 00:19:29,061
Yeah, you did. Digitizing those old files
reminded me of all the cases I worked
462
00:19:29,145 --> 00:19:30,896
and all the good we do in the community.
463
00:19:30,980 --> 00:19:33,856
What's best for my family is
that they grow up with a dad
464
00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:35,483
who's proud of what he does.
465
00:19:35,567 --> 00:19:36,610
Thank you, Captain.
466
00:19:37,027 --> 00:19:41,865
Look at you. You're like the wise old
owl from those lollipop commercials.
467
00:19:42,783 --> 00:19:43,908
Terry's back!
468
00:19:43,992 --> 00:19:45,285
[ALL CHEERING]
469
00:19:46,244 --> 00:19:47,619
MAJORS: Hey, buddy. Sorry I'm late.
470
00:19:47,703 --> 00:19:49,538
I had to get this dumb
medal from the commissioner
471
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:51,373
for a double murder I solved last year.
472
00:19:51,457 --> 00:19:53,875
Been there.
I had a pretty crazy morning myself.
473
00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:55,669
Jake, your taquitos
exploded in the toaster oven.
474
00:19:55,753 --> 00:19:57,922
Thanks, Rosa. Ten-four. Copy that.
475
00:19:58,172 --> 00:19:59,423
So, how'd it go with Santiago?
476
00:19:59,507 --> 00:20:01,883
Actually, she wasn't into it.
Swing and a miss.
477
00:20:01,967 --> 00:20:04,176
You're kidding.
Yeah, it was really weird.
478
00:20:04,260 --> 00:20:06,888
I've never been turned down before.
So unexpected.
479
00:20:07,180 --> 00:20:09,280
I'm excited to see what
happens to me next.
480
00:20:10,183 --> 00:20:11,226
Okay.
481
00:20:13,478 --> 00:20:15,896
So, Blotter Dynamite struck out, huh?
482
00:20:15,980 --> 00:20:17,898
I know, but why? What does it mean?
483
00:20:17,982 --> 00:20:19,023
And why did she double tuck?
484
00:20:19,107 --> 00:20:20,150
How come she turned him down?
485
00:20:20,234 --> 00:20:21,359
Do you think it had
something to do with me, Rosa?
486
00:20:21,443 --> 00:20:22,485
What is she thinking? Jake.
487
00:20:22,569 --> 00:20:24,069
Yeah, I should ask her myself.
488
00:20:25,072 --> 00:20:27,157
Hey, you just missed Majors.
489
00:20:27,491 --> 00:20:29,325
I gotta say, he was
lookin' a little bit rough.
490
00:20:29,409 --> 00:20:31,703
Almost like he was up all
night crying or something.
491
00:20:31,787 --> 00:20:33,996
Ha-ha, Jake. I'm sure he's fine.
492
00:20:34,163 --> 00:20:36,582
So, what happened?
493
00:20:36,666 --> 00:20:39,460
Well, I thought we were getting a
drink to celebrate closing the case,
494
00:20:39,544 --> 00:20:41,628
but apparently, he thought it was a date.
495
00:20:41,712 --> 00:20:43,046
Right. And you were not into that
496
00:20:43,130 --> 00:20:45,880
because he's so muscular
and in command of his finances?
497
00:20:46,050 --> 00:20:49,427
He's great, but after everything
that happened with Teddy,
498
00:20:49,511 --> 00:20:51,763
and all the cops I know
who go out and break up
499
00:20:51,847 --> 00:20:54,474
and then still have to work
together, it's just too messy.
500
00:20:54,558 --> 00:20:56,358
I got a new rule. I don't date cops.
501
00:20:57,727 --> 00:20:58,978
Cool. Cool. Yeah.
502
00:20:59,062 --> 00:21:01,147
Actually, that's funny.
I have the same rule.
503
00:21:01,231 --> 00:21:02,315
No more cops.
504
00:21:02,399 --> 00:21:05,108
From this point on, it's
strictly dating criminals.
505
00:21:05,192 --> 00:21:07,527
If you break up with them, you
can always send them to jail forever.
506
00:21:07,611 --> 00:21:09,196
Exactly. Nice and clean.
507
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:10,364
Mmm-hmm.
508
00:21:11,740 --> 00:21:14,493
Hey, I got an email from the
commissioner's office about our case.
509
00:21:14,577 --> 00:21:15,786
What'd they say?
510
00:21:15,995 --> 00:21:17,120
-[SHEEP BLEATING]
-[YELPS]
511
00:21:17,204 --> 00:21:18,747
Ah! Ah-ha!
512
00:21:19,331 --> 00:21:20,414
You got me. With my thing.
513
00:21:20,498 --> 00:21:21,541
Mmm-hmm.
514
00:21:21,666 --> 00:21:22,709
Great. Oh!