1
00:00:02,034 --> 00:00:04,452
BOYLE: Jake, you've got to see
this, there's something going on here.
2
00:00:04,536 --> 00:00:07,538
Something a little… Hairy.
3
00:00:09,123 --> 00:00:11,291
Nope.
Don't see anything out of the ordinary.
4
00:00:11,375 --> 00:00:13,335
Really? Well, maybe I should…
5
00:00:13,419 --> 00:00:15,963
Frame the question differently.
6
00:00:16,047 --> 00:00:17,797
Terry, do you notice anything?
7
00:00:17,881 --> 00:00:19,215
[GRUNTS] Amy?
8
00:00:20,467 --> 00:00:22,677
New shirt? Oh, come on, guys.
9
00:00:23,094 --> 00:00:26,138
I grew a goatee and it looks
amazing and I know you can see it.
10
00:00:26,222 --> 00:00:28,182
Of course we can see it, Charles.
It's horrible.
11
00:00:28,266 --> 00:00:31,434
It looks like you unclogged a
shower drain with your mouth.
12
00:00:31,518 --> 00:00:34,145
Yeah, you look exactly like the guy in
the "Don't Talk To Strangers" poster.
13
00:00:34,229 --> 00:00:36,189
[SCOFFS] No, I don't.
14
00:00:36,273 --> 00:00:37,315
Are you talking about your new goatee?
15
00:00:37,399 --> 00:00:38,984
Mmm-hmm.
I think it's a good choice for your face.
16
00:00:39,068 --> 00:00:40,735
Ah! Come over here so
I can take a better look.
17
00:00:40,819 --> 00:00:43,487
Thank you, Captain.
I knew you'd appreciate Bianca.
18
00:00:43,571 --> 00:00:44,822
That's right, I call her Bianca,
19
00:00:44,906 --> 00:00:47,825
because she's dark and thick
like my first cousin, Bianca.
20
00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:50,578
Jeffords, Peralta, now.
21
00:00:50,787 --> 00:00:52,162
Hmm? Whoa! [YELPING]
22
00:00:52,246 --> 00:00:53,663
Say goodbye to Bianca, Boyle.
23
00:00:53,747 --> 00:00:55,873
-[BUZZING]
-[SHRIEKING] Bianca! No!
24
00:00:55,957 --> 00:00:58,126
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
25
00:01:16,976 --> 00:01:19,353
Hey, Charles, I want
to ask you something,
26
00:01:19,437 --> 00:01:21,147
but you have to promise
not to get excited and weird.
27
00:01:21,231 --> 00:01:22,690
I can't promise anything of the sort.
28
00:01:22,774 --> 00:01:24,234
It's about restaurants.
29
00:01:24,567 --> 00:01:26,569
[TITTERING] I'm so glad
I didn't make that promise.
30
00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:27,653
Oh, boy. All right.
31
00:01:27,737 --> 00:01:28,737
Where do you take your dad
32
00:01:28,821 --> 00:01:29,863
when you want to go someplace special?
33
00:01:29,947 --> 00:01:30,947
That's a great question.
34
00:01:31,031 --> 00:01:32,032
We go to Csaba.
35
00:01:32,116 --> 00:01:33,158
It's a Hungarian restaurant
36
00:01:33,242 --> 00:01:34,868
That serves Tálezer kolbász,
37
00:01:34,952 --> 00:01:36,953
the platter of a thousand sausages.
38
00:01:37,037 --> 00:01:38,705
Ugh. It's symbolic of our manhood.
39
00:01:38,789 --> 00:01:40,748
Okay, should have
saved the "Ugh" till then.
40
00:01:40,832 --> 00:01:42,249
Anyways, I'll try and get a reservation.
41
00:01:42,333 --> 00:01:43,792
My dad's coming into town
42
00:01:43,876 --> 00:01:45,169
and we're going out to dinner tonight.
43
00:01:45,253 --> 00:01:46,378
Why are you going to dinner with him?
44
00:01:46,462 --> 00:01:48,255
He hasn't visited you in six years.
45
00:01:48,339 --> 00:01:50,215
Yeah, he's busy. He's an airline pilot.
46
00:01:50,299 --> 00:01:52,383
Regional airline.
He flies internationally.
47
00:01:52,467 --> 00:01:53,885
[SCOFFING] Quebec to Albany.
48
00:01:53,969 --> 00:01:55,637
What is going on, here?
What's your problem with my dad?
49
00:01:55,721 --> 00:01:57,221
[SIGHS] I'm just being wary.
50
00:01:57,305 --> 00:01:58,640
He left you when you were seven,
51
00:01:58,724 --> 00:01:59,932
he's been letting us down ever since.
52
00:02:00,016 --> 00:02:01,017
"Us"?
53
00:02:01,101 --> 00:02:02,101
I think of you as a brother, Jake.
54
00:02:02,185 --> 00:02:04,436
So, he didn't just abandon
you, he abandoned us.
55
00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:06,563
Look, I know he hasn't
been the best dad in the past,
56
00:02:06,647 --> 00:02:07,689
but he's changed.
57
00:02:07,773 --> 00:02:09,358
Check it out. We've been texting.
58
00:02:09,442 --> 00:02:10,442
"New phone. Who dis?"
59
00:02:10,526 --> 00:02:11,943
No, below that. Oh.
60
00:02:12,027 --> 00:02:14,071
See?
He's coming into town just to see me.
61
00:02:14,155 --> 00:02:15,863
All right?
We're going to go out to dinner tonight,
62
00:02:15,947 --> 00:02:17,198
then maybe take a walk through the park,
63
00:02:17,282 --> 00:02:18,532
possibly a carriage ride…
64
00:02:18,616 --> 00:02:20,451
If I get chilly, he
could loan me his coat.
65
00:02:20,535 --> 00:02:22,536
I'm describing a date.
I don't know what fathers and sons do.
66
00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:23,770
But I'm gonna find out!
67
00:02:25,373 --> 00:02:26,414
[KNOCKS]
68
00:02:26,498 --> 00:02:27,499
JEFFORDS: Joining us for lunch, sir?
69
00:02:27,583 --> 00:02:30,335
Oh, no, I've already consumed the
required calories for this day period.
70
00:02:30,419 --> 00:02:33,255
Yummy.
But I do have some fun lunch chitchat.
71
00:02:34,006 --> 00:02:35,298
When I was a detective,
72
00:02:35,382 --> 00:02:36,549
my old CO, Jim Martins,
73
00:02:36,633 --> 00:02:39,927
used to keep us on our toes
by having us solve brain teasers.
74
00:02:40,011 --> 00:02:42,137
I thought maybe you'd like to try one.
75
00:02:42,221 --> 00:02:43,847
Don't just tease my brain, Captain.
76
00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:45,140
Really go to town on it.
77
00:02:45,224 --> 00:02:46,767
Yeah, bring it on, sir.
78
00:02:46,851 --> 00:02:47,851
I love puzzles.
79
00:02:47,935 --> 00:02:49,686
They're like power squats for your mind.
80
00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:51,104
Good. Here's the problem.
81
00:02:51,688 --> 00:02:53,314
There are twelve men on an island.
82
00:02:53,398 --> 00:02:58,152
Eleven weigh exactly the same amount,
but one of them is slightly lighter
83
00:02:58,236 --> 00:03:00,863
or heavier. You must figure out which.
84
00:03:00,947 --> 00:03:03,115
And what do these men look like facially
85
00:03:03,199 --> 00:03:04,658
and with respect to their bodies?
86
00:03:04,742 --> 00:03:05,742
It's unimportant.
87
00:03:05,826 --> 00:03:08,954
So, like Tyrese. It's a land of Tyreses.
88
00:03:09,288 --> 00:03:10,289
Sure.
89
00:03:11,081 --> 00:03:13,082
The island has no scales,
90
00:03:13,166 --> 00:03:15,877
but there is a seesaw.
91
00:03:16,336 --> 00:03:17,545
The exciting catch?
92
00:03:18,213 --> 00:03:20,339
You can only use it three times.
93
00:03:20,423 --> 00:03:22,466
That sounds super exciting.
Is this thing mandatory?
94
00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:23,801
Oh, I hope so. Please say yes.
95
00:03:23,885 --> 00:03:26,761
No, but there is a prize
for whoever solves it first.
96
00:03:26,845 --> 00:03:28,555
Two tickets to this Sunday's
97
00:03:28,639 --> 00:03:30,849
Beyoncé Knowles rock music concert.
98
00:03:30,933 --> 00:03:31,934
I'm in.
99
00:03:32,267 --> 00:03:33,518
Marcus loves Beyoncé.
100
00:03:33,602 --> 00:03:34,644
Everyone loves Beyoncé.
101
00:03:34,728 --> 00:03:37,187
My girls were conceived
to "Bootylicious."
102
00:03:37,271 --> 00:03:39,148
Don't tell my wife I told you that.
103
00:03:39,232 --> 00:03:40,524
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
104
00:03:40,608 --> 00:03:41,775
Whoop!
105
00:03:41,859 --> 00:03:44,862
Guys, my dad just texted.
He's in the building.
106
00:03:44,946 --> 00:03:46,864
Scully, stop eating.
Terry, start flexing.
107
00:03:46,948 --> 00:03:48,156
Everybody be cool.
108
00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,366
Paging Detective Jake Peralta!
109
00:03:50,450 --> 00:03:51,451
Ah, Dad!
110
00:03:51,535 --> 00:03:52,827
How are you, son? Oh, good!
111
00:03:52,911 --> 00:03:54,162
Good to see you.
112
00:03:54,246 --> 00:03:55,288
[PATTING]
113
00:03:55,372 --> 00:03:57,498
Everyone, this is my dad.
114
00:03:57,582 --> 00:03:59,250
Hey, introduce yourself
in your captain's voice.
115
00:03:59,334 --> 00:04:01,793
Uh, folks, this is your pilot speaking,
116
00:04:01,877 --> 00:04:03,545
Captain Roger Peralta.
117
00:04:03,629 --> 00:04:06,923
If you look to your left, you'll
see me making your acquaintance.
118
00:04:07,007 --> 00:04:08,383
-[LAUGHS] Love that.
-[SCULLY CHUCKLING]
119
00:04:08,467 --> 00:04:10,177
Hi, I'm Jake's best friend, Charles.
120
00:04:10,261 --> 00:04:11,344
How are you? Pop quiz.
121
00:04:11,428 --> 00:04:12,428
What's Jake allergic to?
122
00:04:12,512 --> 00:04:13,512
Bees.
123
00:04:13,596 --> 00:04:16,557
And wasps.
The guy didn't even include wasps. Huh!
124
00:04:16,641 --> 00:04:18,351
Wasps, those aren't even real.
125
00:04:18,893 --> 00:04:19,894
Oh, hey, Captain Holt!
126
00:04:19,978 --> 00:04:21,979
Come meet my dad, Captain Peralta.
127
00:04:22,063 --> 00:04:23,564
Hello, Captain. Captain.
128
00:04:26,316 --> 00:04:27,859
This is super weird for me.
129
00:04:27,943 --> 00:04:29,027
Captain. Captain.
130
00:04:29,945 --> 00:04:33,531
Anyways, you guys, my dad
is the best pilot. Ah, come on.
131
00:04:33,615 --> 00:04:34,741
Tell them about Oregon.
132
00:04:34,825 --> 00:04:36,992
Okay, this one time I'm in Eugene.
133
00:04:37,076 --> 00:04:39,912
I'm hitching a ride in the
jump seat of a commuter jet.
134
00:04:39,996 --> 00:04:41,371
I'm sleeping off a wicked hangover.
135
00:04:41,455 --> 00:04:42,498
Noice. All of a sudden,
136
00:04:42,582 --> 00:04:43,957
there's a jolt and a boom.
137
00:04:44,041 --> 00:04:45,042
A bird. It was a bird.
138
00:04:45,126 --> 00:04:46,793
Yeah, we sucked a bird into our intake.
139
00:04:46,877 --> 00:04:48,878
Next thing I know, cabin's
filling up with smoke,
140
00:04:48,962 --> 00:04:52,423
alarms going off, engine
flames out and dies.
141
00:04:52,507 --> 00:04:53,925
We are in a dead stall.
142
00:04:54,009 --> 00:04:55,843
I look over at the pilot, Sam Power.
143
00:04:55,927 --> 00:04:56,928
Great name. Great name.
144
00:04:57,012 --> 00:04:58,553
He's white as a sheet and he says to me…
145
00:04:58,637 --> 00:04:59,930
I'll never forget what he said.
146
00:05:00,014 --> 00:05:02,850
He says, "Bobby's got a big old butt."
147
00:05:04,101 --> 00:05:05,477
Turns out he's having a stroke.
148
00:05:05,561 --> 00:05:09,314
I bring the plane down on a
highway, right across from a rest area.
149
00:05:09,398 --> 00:05:11,733
Get on the PA and I say, "Folks,
150
00:05:13,026 --> 00:05:14,276
"coffee's on me."
151
00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,362
[LAUGHING] Wow. What?
152
00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:17,780
-PERALTA: You kidding me?
-[ALL CLAPPING]
153
00:05:17,864 --> 00:05:19,448
Anyway, I'm not…
I'm not here to talk about me.
154
00:05:19,532 --> 00:05:21,617
I'm here to spend some time with my boy.
155
00:05:21,701 --> 00:05:22,700
Ah, Dad.
156
00:05:22,784 --> 00:05:24,410
ROGER: Yeah, it's good to see you, too.
157
00:05:24,494 --> 00:05:26,871
Oh, hey, let me give you
a tour of the precinct. Cool.
158
00:05:26,955 --> 00:05:28,331
Ooh, you can interrogate one of my perps!
159
00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:30,584
Uh, no, he can't. Don't do that, Jake!
160
00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:38,590
You might as well save yourself
some paper and give up now, Sarge.
161
00:05:38,674 --> 00:05:40,425
You know I'm gonna solve this first.
162
00:05:40,509 --> 00:05:45,138
You probably can't tell, but I am
flexing my brain like crazy right now.
163
00:05:45,222 --> 00:05:47,139
Yeah, you're both wasting your time.
164
00:05:47,223 --> 00:05:50,184
Beyoncé's my spiritual twin.
Those tickets are my birthright.
165
00:05:50,268 --> 00:05:53,145
No offense, but this is gonna
come down to me and the Sarge.
166
00:05:53,229 --> 00:05:55,815
Whoa, you think you two are the
only ones that can solve puzzles?
167
00:05:55,899 --> 00:05:58,275
Yeah, what about Rosa, Gina and me?
168
00:05:58,359 --> 00:05:59,776
Is this how you want to die, Hitchcock?
169
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,320
Look, it's just that the Sarge
and I are really into puzzles.
170
00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:04,239
Remember when I took that sudoku cruise?
171
00:06:04,323 --> 00:06:05,490
I never even went on deck.
172
00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:09,574
A hundred bucks says Gina and I can solve
this thing before you two puzzle dorks.
173
00:06:09,994 --> 00:06:11,079
[SCOFFS]
174
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:13,164
Deal.
175
00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:15,291
You're going down.
176
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,525
You're really not a
part of this, Hitchcock.
177
00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:19,837
[PERALTA GROANS]
178
00:06:19,921 --> 00:06:22,589
Did they bring out more sausage
while I was in the bathroom?
179
00:06:22,673 --> 00:06:24,215
No, that's still the first mountain.
180
00:06:24,299 --> 00:06:25,758
Good Lord.
181
00:06:25,842 --> 00:06:27,927
Anyways, do you remember
what you always did
182
00:06:28,011 --> 00:06:29,470
when you'd take me to dinner as a kid?
183
00:06:29,554 --> 00:06:32,014
Tell the waitress it was your
birthday so we'd get a free dessert?
184
00:06:32,098 --> 00:06:33,390
I already did it. [EXCLAIMS]
185
00:06:33,474 --> 00:06:34,725
I just told them it was your birthday!
186
00:06:34,809 --> 00:06:35,851
Come on.
187
00:06:35,935 --> 00:06:37,204
Looks like we're gonna get two free,
188
00:06:37,288 --> 00:06:38,979
probably disgusting,
sausage-filled desserts.
189
00:06:39,063 --> 00:06:40,063
[LAUGHING]
190
00:06:40,147 --> 00:06:41,148
This is pretty fun, right?
191
00:06:41,232 --> 00:06:42,524
I mean, we're actually bonding.
192
00:06:42,608 --> 00:06:44,609
Jake, there's something I
want to talk to you about.
193
00:06:44,693 --> 00:06:47,653
Last week, I was flying
into Albany from Quebec.
194
00:06:47,737 --> 00:06:51,574
You know how I always keep my snowboard
with me in case I get a chance to carve?
195
00:06:51,658 --> 00:06:52,783
He's so cool.
196
00:06:52,867 --> 00:06:56,244
Well, Canadian customs found some
prescription meds in my board bag.
197
00:06:56,328 --> 00:06:58,121
They're accusing me of smuggling. What?
198
00:06:58,205 --> 00:07:00,332
Yeah, I have no idea how they
got in there. They're not mine.
199
00:07:00,416 --> 00:07:03,752
But it's… It's bad.
I could lose my pilot's license.
200
00:07:03,836 --> 00:07:05,378
But you're the best pilot in the world,
201
00:07:05,462 --> 00:07:07,588
I'm guessing without knowing
anything about the field.
202
00:07:07,672 --> 00:07:09,381
I'm really in a bind here, Jake.
203
00:07:09,465 --> 00:07:10,758
I need your help.
204
00:07:12,010 --> 00:07:14,554
That's actually the reason I'm here.
205
00:07:15,346 --> 00:07:18,307
Oh, that's the reason.
206
00:07:18,391 --> 00:07:21,225
Happy sausage birthday to both of you.
207
00:07:21,309 --> 00:07:23,311
[SINGING IN HUNGARIAN]
208
00:07:27,524 --> 00:07:29,609
All right, let's talk
about my dad's case.
209
00:07:29,693 --> 00:07:31,485
The case of why he came to town?
210
00:07:31,569 --> 00:07:34,279
I solved it, because he wanted
to take advantage of his son.
211
00:07:34,363 --> 00:07:36,698
Okay, fine.
At first, I was a little upset.
212
00:07:36,782 --> 00:07:38,325
But then I realized, this is great!
213
00:07:38,409 --> 00:07:41,078
We'll get to spend some time together
and he'll see what a good cop I am.
214
00:07:41,162 --> 00:07:43,412
He should already think you're great.
Like with my dad.
215
00:07:43,496 --> 00:07:45,072
He doesn't need me
to prove to him that Jake
216
00:07:45,156 --> 00:07:46,666
Peralta is the best cop in the precinct.
217
00:07:46,750 --> 00:07:47,750
He knows it!
218
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:48,834
Tell us about the case.
219
00:07:48,918 --> 00:07:50,169
Here's what we know so far.
220
00:07:50,253 --> 00:07:54,047
One, Hungarian sausage is an oily
mess and it causes nonstop dumps.
221
00:07:54,131 --> 00:07:56,967
The incontinence is a small
price to pay for the deliciousness.
222
00:07:57,051 --> 00:07:59,511
It's disgusting and it was
a terrible recommendation.
223
00:07:59,595 --> 00:08:01,554
Two, the Canadian cops
think that my dad used
224
00:08:01,638 --> 00:08:05,141
his security clearance to smuggle
in over a thousand pills of Turgidol.
225
00:08:05,225 --> 00:08:07,769
Canadian erection medication.
Very potent.
226
00:08:08,394 --> 00:08:09,896
What? I don't need it.
227
00:08:11,397 --> 00:08:13,524
[WHISPERS] But I love it. Oh, boy.
228
00:08:13,608 --> 00:08:15,734
Three, the case against
him looks pretty solid.
229
00:08:15,818 --> 00:08:17,860
Four, he's never been a good dad to Jake.
230
00:08:17,944 --> 00:08:19,821
Five, he has been a good dad.
231
00:08:19,905 --> 00:08:22,323
Especially from ages zero through seven
232
00:08:22,407 --> 00:08:24,200
and yesterday through forever.
233
00:08:24,284 --> 00:08:27,120
Six, nonstop dumps.
234
00:08:27,204 --> 00:08:29,246
Enough, how did you read these files?
They're in French.
235
00:08:29,330 --> 00:08:30,998
Scully translated them for me.
236
00:08:31,082 --> 00:08:32,624
When I was nine, my
parents took me to Paris.
237
00:08:32,708 --> 00:08:34,793
And they accidentally
left me at the Louvre.
238
00:08:34,877 --> 00:08:35,877
By the time they figured it out,
239
00:08:35,961 --> 00:08:37,337
they were already back in Queens.
240
00:08:37,421 --> 00:08:39,423
Okay, no one cares about
your boring life, Scully.
241
00:08:39,507 --> 00:08:41,507
This is about my dad
and proving his innocence.
242
00:08:41,591 --> 00:08:42,717
Sir, I'd like to go to Canada
243
00:08:42,801 --> 00:08:44,343
for a few days and help him out.
244
00:08:44,427 --> 00:08:46,345
Of course. But take Boyle with you.
245
00:08:46,429 --> 00:08:48,180
It'll be good to have
an objective set of eyes.
246
00:08:48,264 --> 00:08:50,414
Fine, but under protest
because he's a jerk.
247
00:08:51,101 --> 00:08:52,559
Also, we'd like to take Scully with us.
248
00:08:52,643 --> 00:08:54,728
Well, perfect.
I do you a favor, you do me one, too.
249
00:08:54,812 --> 00:08:55,813
HOLT: Thank you.
250
00:08:56,355 --> 00:08:57,939
All right, there is no way
251
00:08:58,023 --> 00:09:00,025
we let Amy and the Sarge beat us.
252
00:09:00,109 --> 00:09:02,318
We sit here until we
figure this thing out.
253
00:09:02,402 --> 00:09:03,820
Rosa, my mind is ready.
254
00:09:03,904 --> 00:09:06,905
Okay, "There's an island with 12 men."
255
00:09:06,989 --> 00:09:10,034
Oh, I'm so bored! I cannot do it.
256
00:09:10,118 --> 00:09:11,452
I can do this.
257
00:09:11,536 --> 00:09:13,328
One guy is slightly heavier.
258
00:09:13,412 --> 00:09:15,205
There's a seesaw.
259
00:09:15,289 --> 00:09:16,539
I got it.
260
00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:17,623
[SLAMS]
261
00:09:17,707 --> 00:09:20,460
You use the seesaw to press down
on their necks, until fatty confesses.
262
00:09:20,544 --> 00:09:21,794
Incorrect. Damn!
263
00:09:21,878 --> 00:09:23,046
And disturbing.
264
00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:26,382
ROGER [ON PA]: Hello, ladies and
gentlemen. This is your captain speaking.
265
00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:29,885
That's my dad, the Captain, talking
right now. I came out of his body.
266
00:09:29,969 --> 00:09:31,011
No big deal.
267
00:09:31,095 --> 00:09:33,972
We're headed for an on-time
arrival in Drummondville, Quebec.
268
00:09:34,056 --> 00:09:38,602
Folks, this is a special flight for me,
because sitting in seat 3B is my son,
269
00:09:38,686 --> 00:09:40,895
Jake Peralta, one of New York's Finest.
270
00:09:40,979 --> 00:09:43,397
-[ALL CLAPPING]
-Oh… Thanks, Dad.
271
00:09:43,481 --> 00:09:44,857
Love you, too!
272
00:09:44,941 --> 00:09:46,984
You've got to admit it
was pretty nice of him
273
00:09:47,068 --> 00:09:48,402
to bump us up to first class.
274
00:09:48,486 --> 00:09:51,196
Ugh, this plush fabric is
making my rump sweat.
275
00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:53,907
Maybe you're just a little
too uncultured to enjoy
276
00:09:53,991 --> 00:09:57,035
[ENUNCIATING BADLY] such a
sophisticated kind of an experience.
277
00:09:57,119 --> 00:09:58,161
Hmm? Oh, brother.
278
00:09:58,245 --> 00:10:00,622
[MOCK BRITISH ACCENT] What
do you say there, Scully, old boy?
279
00:10:00,706 --> 00:10:02,123
Look at this nut mix!
280
00:10:02,207 --> 00:10:03,999
It's half cashews!
281
00:10:04,083 --> 00:10:05,417
I hope we never land!
282
00:10:05,501 --> 00:10:06,502
So loud.
283
00:10:06,586 --> 00:10:08,629
Hey, guys, how are
you enjoying the flight?
284
00:10:08,713 --> 00:10:10,631
[CHUCKLING] So, how's the case going?
285
00:10:10,715 --> 00:10:14,051
Oh, good. We already have four
suspects who work at the airport.
286
00:10:14,135 --> 00:10:15,426
And I want to talk to
your girlfriend, Denise,
287
00:10:15,510 --> 00:10:16,844
'cause she had access to your bags.
288
00:10:16,928 --> 00:10:19,180
Not on the night in question.
289
00:10:19,264 --> 00:10:21,432
She's been spending
some time at her place.
290
00:10:21,516 --> 00:10:23,142
Relationships are complicated.
291
00:10:23,226 --> 00:10:25,061
You cheated on her a
bunch and she found out.
292
00:10:25,145 --> 00:10:26,353
Okay, I deserve that.
293
00:10:26,437 --> 00:10:28,605
Charles, I have cheated
on women in the past.
294
00:10:28,689 --> 00:10:30,315
And, um, this one, too.
295
00:10:30,399 --> 00:10:32,234
You've got a penchant for blondes.
Hey, come on.
296
00:10:32,318 --> 00:10:35,654
You can't blame a guy for occasionally
dropping anchor at the old Commodore Club.
297
00:10:35,738 --> 00:10:37,448
[BOTH LAUGHING]
298
00:10:37,864 --> 00:10:39,615
So, seriously, Jake, is
this going to be okay?
299
00:10:39,699 --> 00:10:42,243
Oh, yeah. You're gonna be fine.
[LAUGHING] Yeah.
300
00:10:42,327 --> 00:10:44,829
[SHOUTING] Oh, my God, Jake!
Who's flying the plane?
301
00:10:44,913 --> 00:10:46,873
Copilot, Scully, copilot.
302
00:10:47,707 --> 00:10:51,126
Okay, look, let's try a new approach.
303
00:10:51,210 --> 00:10:55,214
We weigh these three islanders
against these three islanders.
304
00:10:55,672 --> 00:10:58,133
If they weigh the same,
we eliminate them.
305
00:10:58,217 --> 00:11:02,136
And if they don't, we… Where'd they go?
306
00:11:02,220 --> 00:11:04,054
[MUFFLED] Terry's
mouth is full of donuts.
307
00:11:04,138 --> 00:11:05,556
You said we could eliminate 'em!
308
00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:07,182
Only if they weigh the same.
309
00:11:07,266 --> 00:11:09,476
We've been here forever!
I'm getting snacky.
310
00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:12,770
Fine. Let's start over. Okay.
311
00:11:12,854 --> 00:11:15,439
We balance three against three,
312
00:11:15,523 --> 00:11:17,984
and if they weigh the same, we just…
313
00:11:19,402 --> 00:11:20,403
What just happened?
314
00:11:20,904 --> 00:11:23,240
Come on, man. Stop eating the islanders!
315
00:11:23,365 --> 00:11:26,324
I'm saving them from this
weight-obsessed nightmare island!
316
00:11:26,408 --> 00:11:27,492
By murdering them?
317
00:11:27,576 --> 00:11:29,161
I warned you against using donuts.
318
00:11:29,245 --> 00:11:30,445
They're my trigger food.
319
00:11:31,538 --> 00:11:32,581
Mmm. Terry.
320
00:11:32,665 --> 00:11:34,250
These islanders are delicious.
321
00:11:36,043 --> 00:11:39,044
PERALTA: Okay, so, two of our
suspects are in the baggage area.
322
00:11:39,128 --> 00:11:40,254
Do you think you can get us access?
323
00:11:40,338 --> 00:11:42,381
You're with a pilot.
I can get you in anywhere.
324
00:11:42,465 --> 00:11:44,800
Hey, you guys want a 10% discount
325
00:11:44,884 --> 00:11:46,385
on duty-free maple syrup?
326
00:11:46,469 --> 00:11:47,678
Do I ever!
327
00:11:47,762 --> 00:11:51,139
[MAN SPEAKING FRENCH]
328
00:11:51,223 --> 00:11:53,308
Hey! What? Scully, what's going on?
329
00:11:53,392 --> 00:11:55,727
-[SPEAKING FRENCH]
-SCULLY: Roger Peralta is under arrest for
330
00:11:55,811 --> 00:11:58,062
possession of a controlled substance.
What?
331
00:11:58,146 --> 00:11:58,720
[SPEAKING FRENCH]
332
00:11:58,804 --> 00:12:00,355
SCULLY: They found
pills in his apartment.
333
00:12:00,439 --> 00:12:02,232
Jake, I don't know what
he's talking about. I swear.
334
00:12:02,316 --> 00:12:04,026
I don't know how those
pills got in my apartment.
335
00:12:04,110 --> 00:12:05,360
Wait. Jake.
336
00:12:05,444 --> 00:12:07,654
PERALTA: Scully, tell them we're cops.
Tell them!
337
00:12:07,738 --> 00:12:09,489
[SCULLY SPEAKING FRENCH]
338
00:12:09,573 --> 00:12:13,492
Shoot. [LAUGHS] That means turnips.
I said we were turnips.
339
00:12:13,576 --> 00:12:14,785
I… I got it, don't worry.
340
00:12:14,869 --> 00:12:16,204
We are turnips!
341
00:12:16,288 --> 00:12:18,248
Nope, that was English. Yeah.
342
00:12:21,251 --> 00:12:23,293
The cop says your dad
is being held without bail.
343
00:12:23,377 --> 00:12:24,753
They want us on the next flight out,
344
00:12:24,837 --> 00:12:27,172
and that Bernard's is the best
poutine place in the airport.
345
00:12:27,256 --> 00:12:28,423
You want some? No.
346
00:12:28,507 --> 00:12:30,133
I don't want poutine right now.
347
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:31,302
Yes!
348
00:12:32,678 --> 00:12:35,054
Ah, man, I can't believe they
found pills at my dad's place.
349
00:12:35,138 --> 00:12:36,138
That means none of our suspects
350
00:12:36,222 --> 00:12:37,622
could have possibly done it.
351
00:12:37,932 --> 00:12:39,683
Oh, my God, Boyle, is there a chance
352
00:12:39,767 --> 00:12:41,727
that my dad is actually a drug smuggler?
353
00:12:41,811 --> 00:12:43,437
Well, let's look at the facts.
354
00:12:43,521 --> 00:12:45,940
Drugs in his luggage,
drugs in his apartment,
355
00:12:46,024 --> 00:12:47,774
terrible dad, terrible husband,
356
00:12:47,858 --> 00:12:49,234
cheats on his girlfriend,
357
00:12:49,568 --> 00:12:50,735
I think he did it.
358
00:12:50,819 --> 00:12:53,071
You're right. He didn't do it.
359
00:12:53,155 --> 00:12:54,155
That's not what I said.
360
00:12:54,239 --> 00:12:56,032
No. You said he cheats on his girlfriend.
361
00:12:56,116 --> 00:12:58,742
Presumably he has to
do that with someone.
362
00:12:58,826 --> 00:13:00,035
And that someone would have access
363
00:13:00,119 --> 00:13:01,787
to his apartment and his bags.
364
00:13:02,872 --> 00:13:04,539
Dad dropped anchor at
the Commodore's Club.
365
00:13:04,623 --> 00:13:06,208
[SNAPS FINGERS] Someone is there.
366
00:13:06,292 --> 00:13:07,793
Even so, how do we get in there?
367
00:13:07,877 --> 00:13:09,169
By wearing Dad's pilot uniforms.
368
00:13:09,253 --> 00:13:11,587
[SIGHS] No, Jake, I just don't
think he's innocent. I just think that…
369
00:13:11,671 --> 00:13:13,005
You don't want to be my copilot? I'm in!
370
00:13:13,089 --> 00:13:16,676
-[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
-♪ Going up to the spirit in the sky ♪
371
00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:17,885
♪ Spirit in the sky ♪
372
00:13:17,969 --> 00:13:20,763
♪ That's where I'm
going to go when I die ♪
373
00:13:20,847 --> 00:13:24,015
♪ When I die and they lay me to… ♪
374
00:13:24,099 --> 00:13:26,309
-[MUSIC STOPS]
-Sorry, Scully, we only had two uniforms.
375
00:13:26,393 --> 00:13:27,394
It's okay.
376
00:13:27,478 --> 00:13:29,187
For some reason, all the
fries and gravy and cheese
377
00:13:29,271 --> 00:13:30,272
upset my tummy.
378
00:13:30,356 --> 00:13:31,564
Huh. Huh.
379
00:13:31,648 --> 00:13:35,025
-[MUSIC RESUMES]
-♪ Going up to the spirit in the sky ♪
380
00:13:35,109 --> 00:13:36,151
♪ Spirit in the sky ♪
381
00:13:36,235 --> 00:13:37,236
♪ That's where I'm gonna go… ♪
382
00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:38,654
[INDISTINCT SIREN WAILING]
383
00:13:39,155 --> 00:13:41,573
Are you here because
you've solved my brain teaser?
384
00:13:41,657 --> 00:13:44,826
Sir, you've been an
underdog your whole life.
385
00:13:44,910 --> 00:13:46,577
But you defied the odds
386
00:13:46,661 --> 00:13:49,289
by having others secretly help you,
387
00:13:49,373 --> 00:13:50,957
'cause you didn't have what it took.
388
00:13:51,041 --> 00:13:53,126
That's not my story.
But now we're the underdogs,
389
00:13:53,210 --> 00:13:54,919
and we're the ones who need a handout.
390
00:13:55,003 --> 00:13:57,046
So just tell us the answer.
391
00:13:57,546 --> 00:13:59,548
Or have you forgotten
where you come from?
392
00:13:59,632 --> 00:14:02,384
I'm not gonna help you.
I told you that was not gonna work.
393
00:14:02,468 --> 00:14:04,469
[SIGHS] Stop the clock.
394
00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:07,098
We're here and we have the solution.
395
00:14:08,057 --> 00:14:10,016
First, you weigh six versus six.
396
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:11,851
Wrong! That'll never work.
397
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,876
You've just wasted your time and mine.
398
00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:15,771
Click.
399
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,315
I just captured the exact moment
400
00:14:17,399 --> 00:14:19,567
when you realized you had failed.
401
00:14:19,651 --> 00:14:21,818
I guess we all got something out of this.
402
00:14:21,902 --> 00:14:25,113
So, that's it? This problem is
beyond all of you. No one solved it.
403
00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:28,575
Believe me, no one is more
disappointed in me than me.
404
00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:30,494
Than I, Santiago.
405
00:14:31,328 --> 00:14:33,621
[RASPING] Click.
406
00:14:38,668 --> 00:14:40,711
Hi, there. That's, "Oh, sweet home."
407
00:14:40,795 --> 00:14:42,046
Got them wings. Yeah.
408
00:14:42,130 --> 00:14:43,839
Ooh. Okay. [CLEARS THROAT]
409
00:14:44,172 --> 00:14:46,883
Boom. Right there. Behind the bar.
That's my dad's type.
410
00:14:46,967 --> 00:14:49,635
Oh, he likes them neat and clean.
Real tidy.
411
00:14:49,719 --> 00:14:52,472
What? No, blondes. He likes blondes.
412
00:14:52,556 --> 00:14:53,931
All right, here's the plan.
We're gonna go sit down.
413
00:14:54,015 --> 00:14:56,683
Order a couple of drinks, grab her
fingerprints off the glass she serves us,
414
00:14:56,767 --> 00:14:58,602
and then measure her
wrist for handcuff size. Yeah.
415
00:14:58,686 --> 00:14:59,770
Ready? Yeah.
416
00:14:59,854 --> 00:15:01,521
-[BOTH GROANING]
-PERALTA: Crazy flight.
417
00:15:01,605 --> 00:15:03,106
BOYLE: Oh, those hydraulics were loud.
418
00:15:03,190 --> 00:15:06,193
PERALTA: Yeah. Ah, bonjour, bonjour.
419
00:15:06,277 --> 00:15:09,111
Uh, two whiskeys, please, Chantelle.
420
00:15:09,195 --> 00:15:14,367
Thanks. Say, I'm looking for an old sky
pal of mine. Do you know Roger Peralta?
421
00:15:14,451 --> 00:15:16,952
Yes. Yes, I do.
How do you guys know Peralta?
422
00:15:17,036 --> 00:15:18,536
Oh, I used to fly with
him back in Oregon.
423
00:15:18,620 --> 00:15:21,122
My name's Captain Spike Masters.
This is my copilot, Wanda Cohen.
424
00:15:21,206 --> 00:15:24,626
I drive the plane when he sleeps.
I also take care of hotel accommodations.
425
00:15:24,710 --> 00:15:26,169
Where did you guys say you flew in from?
426
00:15:26,253 --> 00:15:27,253
Akron. Luxembourg.
427
00:15:27,337 --> 00:15:30,506
Connected in Akron.
Took the old 78… Niner…
428
00:15:30,590 --> 00:15:34,009
On the wind stream.
You know, flight stuff. Anyhow…
429
00:15:34,093 --> 00:15:35,177
-[LAUGHS]
-[GROANS]
430
00:15:35,261 --> 00:15:36,345
Can we grab those two whiskeys, please?
431
00:15:36,429 --> 00:15:38,605
I do not know who you
are, and I do not think
432
00:15:38,689 --> 00:15:40,849
you are pilots.
Your suit doesn't even fit.
433
00:15:40,933 --> 00:15:41,933
[SCOFFS]
434
00:15:42,017 --> 00:15:43,393
I had my stomach stapled.
435
00:15:43,477 --> 00:15:47,021
[CHANTELLE SHOUTING IN FRENCH]
436
00:15:47,105 --> 00:15:49,107
[GRUNTS] Unhand us!
437
00:15:49,483 --> 00:15:50,566
This is outrageous.
438
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,610
I demand to speak with
the Commodore himself.
439
00:15:52,694 --> 00:15:54,778
[SIGHS] There's no way
we'll get her fingerprints now.
440
00:15:54,862 --> 00:15:56,363
Oh, really?
441
00:15:56,530 --> 00:15:58,699
Et voilà. French.
442
00:15:58,866 --> 00:16:00,450
She cleaned the bar quite thoroughly,
443
00:16:00,534 --> 00:16:02,911
but this bottle is
filthy with her prints.
444
00:16:02,995 --> 00:16:05,788
Smart. That's why you're
the pilot and I'm the copilot.
445
00:16:05,914 --> 00:16:07,373
Copy that, Wanda.
446
00:16:07,790 --> 00:16:08,833
Copy that.
447
00:16:09,709 --> 00:16:10,877
Wanda Cohen.
448
00:16:11,711 --> 00:16:13,087
DIAZ: Wait, Captain.
449
00:16:13,171 --> 00:16:14,880
Gina and I figured out
your dumb brain teaser.
450
00:16:14,964 --> 00:16:16,132
I highly doubt that, sir.
451
00:16:16,216 --> 00:16:17,632
I'll judge for myself, Santiago.
452
00:16:17,716 --> 00:16:19,759
Okay, Diaz, what's the solution?
453
00:16:19,843 --> 00:16:20,844
We have no idea.
454
00:16:20,928 --> 00:16:21,928
[LAUGHS] Told you.
455
00:16:22,012 --> 00:16:23,179
But neither do you, sir.
456
00:16:23,263 --> 00:16:24,264
What?
457
00:16:24,348 --> 00:16:26,766
Captain Holt, you don't
know what the solution is.
458
00:16:26,850 --> 00:16:27,851
Excuse me?
459
00:16:27,935 --> 00:16:29,184
Here's how we cracked it.
460
00:16:29,268 --> 00:16:31,812
I took the photo of you
demolishing Amy's spirit
461
00:16:31,896 --> 00:16:35,899
and made these clever
T-shirts that say, "nerdfail."
462
00:16:35,983 --> 00:16:37,025
It's not that clever.
463
00:16:37,109 --> 00:16:38,694
It's hilarious.
464
00:16:38,778 --> 00:16:42,989
Look at this.
Your expression is the same as Amy's.
465
00:16:43,073 --> 00:16:44,657
Because you're both devastated
466
00:16:44,741 --> 00:16:46,325
that you just let down your mentors.
467
00:16:46,409 --> 00:16:48,828
I looked at your calendar.
You're supposed to have breakfast
468
00:16:48,912 --> 00:16:49,912
with your old CO.
469
00:16:49,996 --> 00:16:52,080
You wanted us to solve the
problem before you saw him.
470
00:16:52,164 --> 00:16:53,290
That's crazy.
471
00:16:53,374 --> 00:16:55,667
-HOLT: She's right.
-What? No.
472
00:16:55,751 --> 00:16:58,337
He posed that problem to me 20 years ago.
473
00:16:58,462 --> 00:16:59,754
Every time I see him, he asks,
474
00:16:59,838 --> 00:17:01,840
"Do you have the answer yet?"
And I never have.
475
00:17:01,924 --> 00:17:06,051
Those islanders and their
pathetic seesaw haunt my dreams.
476
00:17:06,135 --> 00:17:12,350
They mock me in my sleep, riding up
and down on a teeter-totter of taunts.
477
00:17:12,475 --> 00:17:15,353
Cool. So, who gets the Beyoncé tickets?
478
00:17:17,271 --> 00:17:23,777
♪ Oh, Canada, you home of crappy cops ♪
479
00:17:24,278 --> 00:17:26,654
Guess who just freed his
dad from Canadian prison
480
00:17:26,738 --> 00:17:31,116
and slammed six free mimosas on the
first-class flight home sans the juice?
481
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:32,284
Spoiler alert. It was Jake.
482
00:17:32,368 --> 00:17:33,368
It was me.
483
00:17:33,452 --> 00:17:35,829
So, turns out my dad's
sidepiece framed him.
484
00:17:35,913 --> 00:17:38,789
She was hella pissed because
she found out about his real girlfriend.
485
00:17:38,873 --> 00:17:40,292
And his other sidepiece.
486
00:17:40,417 --> 00:17:44,086
So, yeah, turns out my
dad is a great guy after all.
487
00:17:44,170 --> 00:17:45,505
And in celebration of my freedom,
488
00:17:45,589 --> 00:17:47,215
I'm taking everybody out tonight.
489
00:17:47,299 --> 00:17:48,633
Drinks are on me.
490
00:17:48,717 --> 00:17:50,842
-[ALL CLAPPING]
-PERALTA: Eh?
491
00:17:50,926 --> 00:17:52,010
Where's Scully?
492
00:17:52,094 --> 00:17:53,261
Oh, no. Scully!
493
00:17:53,345 --> 00:17:54,346
Who?
494
00:17:54,430 --> 00:17:57,808
[MAN SPEAKING FRENCH ON PA]
495
00:17:58,809 --> 00:18:00,602
Hey, Hank. When you see my dad walk in,
496
00:18:00,686 --> 00:18:02,728
can you dim the lights and
play We are the Champions?
497
00:18:02,812 --> 00:18:03,991
No.
I don't know what your dad looks like,
498
00:18:04,075 --> 00:18:04,688
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
499
00:18:04,772 --> 00:18:06,690
I don't have the song, and
the lights aren't on dimmers.
500
00:18:06,774 --> 00:18:08,192
Oh, no.
501
00:18:08,276 --> 00:18:10,986
It's okay, Jake. You give him the
signal, I'll start unscrewing bulbs.
502
00:18:11,070 --> 00:18:13,030
No, my dad just texted.
503
00:18:13,114 --> 00:18:14,364
He's not coming.
504
00:18:14,448 --> 00:18:16,366
To Jake's dad!
505
00:18:16,450 --> 00:18:17,618
ALL: Whoo!
506
00:18:18,410 --> 00:18:19,786
Yep.
507
00:18:22,998 --> 00:18:24,040
BOYLE: I'm sorry, Jake.
508
00:18:24,124 --> 00:18:26,750
I'm sure your dad has a really
good reason for not being here.
509
00:18:26,834 --> 00:18:28,502
No, don't do that. All right?
510
00:18:28,586 --> 00:18:29,628
Don't let him off the hook.
511
00:18:29,712 --> 00:18:31,296
That's what I've done my whole life.
512
00:18:31,380 --> 00:18:32,923
You know when he missed my 11th birthday,
513
00:18:33,007 --> 00:18:36,135
I blamed myself for being
born on a peak travel day.
514
00:18:36,677 --> 00:18:37,969
You were right about him, Boyle.
515
00:18:38,053 --> 00:18:39,804
[SIGHS] So, what do we do now?
516
00:18:40,180 --> 00:18:41,180
Hug for ten minutes.
517
00:18:41,264 --> 00:18:43,015
No, give me a rain check on the hug.
518
00:18:43,099 --> 00:18:44,475
There's something I gotta do.
519
00:18:44,559 --> 00:18:46,227
You can have my beer. Cool!
520
00:18:46,394 --> 00:18:47,646
[KNOCKING]
521
00:18:49,022 --> 00:18:50,022
Jake!
522
00:18:50,481 --> 00:18:52,148
I'm sorry I couldn't
make it to the party.
523
00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:55,360
I'm subbing for a buddy
who's got an early flight.
524
00:18:55,444 --> 00:18:56,544
I'm sure you're upset.
525
00:18:56,695 --> 00:18:58,280
No, actually, I'm not upset at all.
526
00:18:58,364 --> 00:19:00,073
You're not? [LAUGHS] Great.
527
00:19:00,157 --> 00:19:01,783
No, more relieved.
528
00:19:02,450 --> 00:19:03,993
You know, you were always my hero,
529
00:19:04,077 --> 00:19:07,079
but I think I'm finally starting to
see you for who you really are.
530
00:19:07,163 --> 00:19:09,665
A regional airline pilot whose
landings are bumpy as hell,
531
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:13,210
and a pretty selfish guy who genuinely
doesn't care about being a dad.
532
00:19:13,335 --> 00:19:15,379
Jake, you don't understand.
533
00:19:16,463 --> 00:19:19,549
There was a downdraft on
the Drummondville runway.
534
00:19:19,633 --> 00:19:20,633
Oh, wow.
535
00:19:20,717 --> 00:19:22,803
It's not my fault.
[LAUGHS] Yeah, clearly.
536
00:19:23,387 --> 00:19:25,987
Look, I've been making
excuses for you my whole life.
537
00:19:26,555 --> 00:19:28,891
But you're a pretty crappy father.
538
00:19:29,266 --> 00:19:32,269
And until you're ready to
be a good one, don't call me.
539
00:19:33,145 --> 00:19:36,395
Also, I'm taking your captain
hat because it's cool and I want it.
540
00:19:37,565 --> 00:19:40,192
-[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
-♪ Going up to the spirit in the sky ♪
541
00:19:40,276 --> 00:19:41,736
♪ Spirit in the sky ♪
542
00:19:41,820 --> 00:19:43,946
♪ That's where I'm gonna go when I die… ♪
543
00:19:44,030 --> 00:19:45,031
I gotta say,
544
00:19:45,115 --> 00:19:48,366
figuring out Captain Holt didn't know
the answer was an incredible solve.
545
00:19:48,450 --> 00:19:50,493
I'm sorry if we implied
you weren't smart.
546
00:19:50,577 --> 00:19:53,955
Oh, and I'm sorry if we implied
you were both asexual nerds
547
00:19:54,039 --> 00:19:56,416
who can only be friends
with service animals.
548
00:19:56,500 --> 00:19:58,084
-You didn't.
-DIAZ: Not to your face.
549
00:19:58,168 --> 00:19:59,793
But to a ton of people behind your back.
550
00:19:59,877 --> 00:20:01,796
Thanks for the drink. Yes!
551
00:20:02,463 --> 00:20:03,797
Next round's on me.
552
00:20:03,881 --> 00:20:07,384
It's the least I can do for
teasing your brains so mercilessly.
553
00:20:07,468 --> 00:20:09,219
So, what are you gonna
say to your old CO tomorrow
554
00:20:09,303 --> 00:20:11,203
when he asks if you solved the puzzle?
555
00:20:11,430 --> 00:20:12,430
I don't know.
556
00:20:12,514 --> 00:20:14,849
Thanks for bringing that up. Fun chat.
557
00:20:14,933 --> 00:20:17,602
Just say you're a captain now
and you're busy running a precinct,
558
00:20:17,686 --> 00:20:19,270
so he can go suck an egg.
559
00:20:19,354 --> 00:20:21,981
Or we can all work
together, all night long,
560
00:20:22,065 --> 00:20:24,232
and I'm sure we can
eventually figure it out.
561
00:20:24,316 --> 00:20:26,568
I like that, Terry. It shows real heart.
562
00:20:26,652 --> 00:20:29,071
But I'm going with
Gina's "suck an egg" idea.
563
00:20:29,572 --> 00:20:32,240
You get the Beyoncé tickets.
564
00:20:32,324 --> 00:20:34,784
[GINA EXCLAIMING]
565
00:20:34,868 --> 00:20:39,581
Of course I do. I told you, it
was my birthright, you bitches.
566
00:20:42,584 --> 00:20:47,129
Superglue your panties to your butts,
ladies, because Jake is in the house!
567
00:20:47,671 --> 00:20:48,672
What?
568
00:20:48,756 --> 00:20:49,756
Never mind.
569
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:51,049
I'm a little drunk. Ah.
570
00:20:51,133 --> 00:20:52,676
I'm also worried about you.
571
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:54,052
Come here. Ten-minute hug time.
572
00:20:54,136 --> 00:20:55,136
I'd rather not.
573
00:20:55,220 --> 00:20:56,221
Come on. Okay.
574
00:20:56,472 --> 00:20:57,556
[BOTH SIGH]
575
00:20:57,972 --> 00:20:59,390
Boyle, release him.
576
00:20:59,474 --> 00:21:01,517
Fine, only because you're ordering me to.
577
00:21:01,601 --> 00:21:03,102
There's nine minutes left on that hug.
578
00:21:03,186 --> 00:21:05,104
[CHUCKLES] Great.
579
00:21:06,063 --> 00:21:07,064
Nice job in Quebec.
580
00:21:07,482 --> 00:21:08,524
I bet the local cops
581
00:21:08,608 --> 00:21:09,649
weren't happy you showed them up.
582
00:21:09,733 --> 00:21:10,942
Yeah, well, maybe not at first,
583
00:21:11,026 --> 00:21:12,485
but by the end, they kept calling me
584
00:21:12,569 --> 00:21:14,070
a real bâtard,
585
00:21:14,154 --> 00:21:15,655
which I can only assume means "hero."
586
00:21:15,739 --> 00:21:16,739
It means "bastard,"
587
00:21:16,823 --> 00:21:18,491
but that's only because
they were jealous.
588
00:21:18,575 --> 00:21:19,659
You did good work.
589
00:21:19,868 --> 00:21:20,869
Here.
590
00:21:21,285 --> 00:21:22,327
Is this an allowance?
591
00:21:22,411 --> 00:21:23,662
Are you giving me an allowance?
592
00:21:23,746 --> 00:21:25,539
No, I'm paying the
bartender for more drinks.
593
00:21:25,623 --> 00:21:26,624
Oh, right.
594
00:21:27,917 --> 00:21:28,918
I'm proud of you.
595
00:21:31,879 --> 00:21:33,479
Nine minutes start now! [GROANS]