1
00:00:04,764 --> 00:00:07,391
Gregor Minsk, the counterfeiter
I've been chasing for two years,
2
00:00:07,475 --> 00:00:08,894
has finally resurfaced.
3
00:00:09,395 --> 00:00:11,021
And he's just as evil as ever.
4
00:00:11,105 --> 00:00:14,693
Right. You hate him because he
has a typo on his counterfeit bills.
5
00:00:14,818 --> 00:00:18,446
No, because he passed four
million dollars in fraudulent bills, Jake.
6
00:00:19,615 --> 00:00:21,617
But also, two "Rs" in "pluribus"?
7
00:00:21,826 --> 00:00:23,702
I mean, did none of
those cashiers take Latin?
8
00:00:23,786 --> 00:00:27,290
Okay, let's give Amy a round of
applause for whatever that was.
9
00:00:27,374 --> 00:00:29,124
Police briefing. Still in progress.
10
00:00:29,209 --> 00:00:31,962
And you did great.
But let's get serious, people.
11
00:00:32,046 --> 00:00:33,590
Tomorrow is the wedding.
12
00:00:33,798 --> 00:00:36,343
My mom is marrying, shudder,
13
00:00:36,844 --> 00:00:38,470
Charles's dad, toilet emoji.
14
00:00:38,554 --> 00:00:40,639
We are gonna be brother and sister.
15
00:00:40,931 --> 00:00:44,477
To think this started with us just
going to town on each other's sexy parts.
16
00:00:44,561 --> 00:00:46,021
-[ALL GRUMBLING]
-SANTIAGO: Ew!
17
00:00:46,438 --> 00:00:48,688
Charles, promise me
that is not in your toast.
18
00:00:49,609 --> 00:00:50,651
It's not.
19
00:00:50,735 --> 00:00:51,860
Come on, man.
20
00:00:51,944 --> 00:00:54,239
Look, I need everything to be perfect.
21
00:00:54,990 --> 00:00:57,576
Status update. Rosa, how are the flowers?
22
00:00:57,701 --> 00:00:58,786
I don't know.
23
00:00:58,870 --> 00:00:59,912
Yellow.
24
00:00:59,996 --> 00:01:02,039
Terr-bear? I had my tuxedo altered
25
00:01:02,123 --> 00:01:03,541
to make it tighter, like you wanted.
26
00:01:03,625 --> 00:01:07,546
Delicious. Jake, have you
checked in with the jeweler?
27
00:01:07,630 --> 00:01:10,049
Yes, they said the ring will be
ready at 2:00 on the wedding day.
28
00:01:10,133 --> 00:01:11,842
I'm gonna pick it up on
my way to the ceremony.
29
00:01:11,926 --> 00:01:13,469
This is very important, Jake.
30
00:01:13,553 --> 00:01:14,971
Are you sure you can handle it?
31
00:01:15,055 --> 00:01:18,684
Uh, well, let's see.
Easy, last minute, and crucial as hell.
32
00:01:18,768 --> 00:01:20,269
Meets all the Peralta criteria.
33
00:01:20,353 --> 00:01:24,274
Good. These tasks are top
priority around here, people.
34
00:01:24,358 --> 00:01:26,358
I don't care how many criminals go free.
35
00:01:26,861 --> 00:01:28,153
All right? Dismissed.
36
00:01:28,237 --> 00:01:29,780
Uh, I'm not done with my briefing yet.
37
00:01:29,864 --> 00:01:31,407
I said dismissed!
38
00:01:31,491 --> 00:01:33,494
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
39
00:01:52,641 --> 00:01:54,727
Guys, guess who I'm about to see.
40
00:01:54,936 --> 00:01:55,978
The Bubs?
41
00:01:56,646 --> 00:01:57,646
Michael Bublé?
42
00:01:57,730 --> 00:01:58,772
Okay, you're the only one
43
00:01:58,856 --> 00:02:00,275
who calls him that. And no.
44
00:02:00,776 --> 00:02:02,027
Jenny Gildenhorn.
45
00:02:02,111 --> 00:02:04,511
The girl who dumped you
at your Bar Mitzvah? Yes.
46
00:02:04,863 --> 00:02:07,283
I can still see her slow
dancing with Eddie Fung.
47
00:02:07,701 --> 00:02:09,411
MAN: ♪ I'm all out of love ♪
48
00:02:09,786 --> 00:02:11,914
♪ I'm so lost without you ♪
49
00:02:12,581 --> 00:02:14,416
I'll never forgive that bitch
for what she did to you.
50
00:02:14,500 --> 00:02:15,751
Well, you better forgive her,
51
00:02:15,835 --> 00:02:18,338
because she's about
to become my girlfriend.
52
00:02:18,547 --> 00:02:19,589
Turns out Gina's mom
53
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:21,507
is friends with Jenny Gildenhorn's mom,
54
00:02:21,591 --> 00:02:22,968
and Jenny is gonna be at the wedding.
55
00:02:23,052 --> 00:02:24,928
That's right. I'm finally going to get
56
00:02:25,012 --> 00:02:27,097
the slow dance that Fung denied me.
57
00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:28,475
Is she even single? Uh-huh.
58
00:02:28,559 --> 00:02:30,436
For the first time since we were 13.
59
00:02:30,561 --> 00:02:32,771
Eddie Fung was replaced by Colin Brandow,
60
00:02:32,855 --> 00:02:34,482
then Ethan Stokes,
61
00:02:34,566 --> 00:02:36,734
then Tanya Astor. Don't tell her mother.
62
00:02:36,818 --> 00:02:38,527
Then, she met her husband, Matt Hench,
63
00:02:38,611 --> 00:02:40,740
who she divorced three months ago.
64
00:02:40,948 --> 00:02:42,282
Probably 'cause he's a major loser.
65
00:02:42,366 --> 00:02:44,076
I mean, Assistant US Attorney?
66
00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:45,203
Get a real job.
67
00:02:45,328 --> 00:02:48,247
You really kept tabs on her, huh?
It's most of what I do here.
68
00:02:48,331 --> 00:02:51,251
Eh, eh, eh, eh.
69
00:02:51,335 --> 00:02:53,337
What's happening?
Is Charles having a stroke?
70
00:02:53,421 --> 00:02:55,757
No, he's warning me you're here,
so I won't talk about other girls.
71
00:02:55,841 --> 00:02:57,891
I just thought it might be weird for you,
72
00:02:58,218 --> 00:02:59,260
because of your history.
73
00:02:59,344 --> 00:03:00,444
It's not weird at all.
74
00:03:00,637 --> 00:03:02,264
Yeah. I told Amy I liked her,
75
00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:03,849
she told me she was
deeply in love with me,
76
00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:05,101
and it's all in the past.
77
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,479
I did not say "love" or "deeply."
78
00:03:07,563 --> 00:03:10,024
It's in the past, Amy. Move on!
79
00:03:13,278 --> 00:03:16,698
Rosa, I had a question about Marcus
and the wedding. I'm not bringing Marcus.
80
00:03:16,782 --> 00:03:19,332
You guys broke up, huh?
Oh. Just hit it and quit it.
81
00:03:20,328 --> 00:03:21,537
We are so similar.
82
00:03:22,163 --> 00:03:24,999
We did not break up. I'm just not
totally sold on the relationship yet
83
00:03:25,083 --> 00:03:26,459
and I don't want to bring
him to some stupid wedding
84
00:03:26,543 --> 00:03:28,294
where he might get all
romantic and say, "I love you."
85
00:03:28,378 --> 00:03:29,714
I mean, what am I supposed to do then?
86
00:03:29,798 --> 00:03:30,898
Say "I love you" back?
87
00:03:31,674 --> 00:03:33,384
I've only said "I love
you" to three people.
88
00:03:33,468 --> 00:03:36,221
My mom, my dad, and my dying grandpa.
And one of those, I regret.
89
00:03:36,305 --> 00:03:37,764
Which one? Grandpa.
90
00:03:37,848 --> 00:03:39,808
He beat cancer, so
now I look like an idiot.
91
00:03:39,892 --> 00:03:41,144
Oh, man.
92
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:44,981
Would either of you like a starring
role in the wedding of the century?
93
00:03:45,065 --> 00:03:46,900
I already told you,
I'm not go-go dancing.
94
00:03:46,984 --> 00:03:48,784
Well someone's getting in that cage.
95
00:03:49,195 --> 00:03:51,823
But more importantly, my
mom's priest dropped out,
96
00:03:51,907 --> 00:03:53,826
so I need one of you two to step up.
97
00:03:54,743 --> 00:03:56,745
[SIGHS] Who would be better equipped
98
00:03:56,830 --> 00:03:59,707
to deliver a heartfelt,
emotional speech about love?
99
00:03:59,999 --> 00:04:01,501
I have to imagine it's not me.
100
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:04,255
I could do it. I'm already ordained.
101
00:04:04,797 --> 00:04:08,634
Mario, Karen, yesterday
was chest and shoulders.
102
00:04:08,718 --> 00:04:10,845
Today and for the rest of your life,
103
00:04:10,929 --> 00:04:12,430
it's heart and soul.
104
00:04:13,056 --> 00:04:16,769
Smart. You tailored the ceremony
to the bride and groom's interests.
105
00:04:17,353 --> 00:04:19,982
Yeah, yeah, that's
totally what I was doing.
106
00:04:20,482 --> 00:04:23,777
I mean, working out is not the only
thing I feel comfortable talking about.
107
00:04:23,861 --> 00:04:26,781
Uh, what would you say is your
mom's favorite move at the gym?
108
00:04:26,865 --> 00:04:30,243
My mom likes champagne,
baked ziti, the Bahamas.
109
00:04:30,369 --> 00:04:33,371
Charles's dad probably
lives under a bridge and
110
00:04:33,455 --> 00:04:35,124
uses a puddle as a mirror.
111
00:04:35,291 --> 00:04:37,335
I don't know. You figure it out.
112
00:04:38,670 --> 00:04:41,047
Okay. I got the ring. Let's go.
113
00:04:41,339 --> 00:04:43,593
Okay. Thanks. Try to stay off heroin.
114
00:04:44,343 --> 00:04:46,888
Your mom? No, that was my informant.
115
00:04:46,972 --> 00:04:48,473
She spotted my counterfeiter
four blocks from here.
116
00:04:48,557 --> 00:04:49,599
We have to go check it out.
117
00:04:49,683 --> 00:04:51,601
Oh, but I wanted to get to the
wedding early and reserve a seat
118
00:04:51,685 --> 00:04:53,270
so Jenny can sit on my right side.
119
00:04:53,354 --> 00:04:56,565
I've been practicing my crying,
and it turns out this is my juicier duct.
120
00:04:56,649 --> 00:05:00,153
Please. I've been chasing this guy
for two years. What if it was your collar?
121
00:05:00,237 --> 00:05:03,741
I would've caught him nine months ago
in a shootout on top of a Ferris wheel.
122
00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:05,327
Minsk is my nemesis.
123
00:05:06,411 --> 00:05:07,454
He's my Eddie Fung.
124
00:05:07,662 --> 00:05:08,872
[GASPS] Fung.
125
00:05:09,665 --> 00:05:10,833
All right. That, I understand.
126
00:05:10,917 --> 00:05:13,085
We'll check out your lead,
then we'll go to the wedding.
127
00:05:13,169 --> 00:05:15,005
Let's go find Eddie Fung.
128
00:05:15,172 --> 00:05:16,715
Minsk. Right, Minsk.
129
00:05:17,382 --> 00:05:18,508
Fung.
130
00:05:19,176 --> 00:05:22,763
[SNIFFS] Regina,
everything is so beautiful.
131
00:05:22,847 --> 00:05:24,890
Well, as long as you're happy, I'm happy.
132
00:05:24,974 --> 00:05:26,518
Rosa, ah, there you are.
133
00:05:26,852 --> 00:05:28,770
Can you help my dad with his cuff links?
Sure.
134
00:05:28,854 --> 00:05:30,230
I would do it, but it's bad luck
135
00:05:30,314 --> 00:05:32,024
for a boy to see his
father on his wedding day.
136
00:05:32,108 --> 00:05:33,458
Oh, well, in that case, no.
137
00:05:33,610 --> 00:05:37,072
Rosa, please. It's a slippery
slope from un-cuffed sleeves
138
00:05:37,156 --> 00:05:39,741
to Lynn just wearing an
old turtleneck down the aisle.
139
00:05:39,825 --> 00:05:42,536
Actually, my dad can
really rock a turtleneck.
140
00:05:42,704 --> 00:05:44,998
Gives him a sexy Elliott Gould vibe.
141
00:05:45,082 --> 00:05:48,670
Charles, shut up.
Rosa, go find Lynn Boyle and cuff his ass.
142
00:05:49,295 --> 00:05:50,838
There you go. Thank you.
143
00:05:51,047 --> 00:05:52,798
You nervous? Oh, not at all.
144
00:05:52,882 --> 00:05:55,886
I love Darlene Linetti with all my parts.
145
00:05:56,136 --> 00:05:59,891
Wow. I can't ever imagine being with
someone and not having any doubts.
146
00:05:59,975 --> 00:06:02,686
Well, I have little doubts.
Tiny little doubts.
147
00:06:03,269 --> 00:06:04,312
Do you think that's a problem?
148
00:06:04,396 --> 00:06:05,981
I mean, not if you're sure she's the one.
149
00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:07,149
Yes, of course.
150
00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:10,235
But I was sure about my five other
weddings, too. [CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY]
151
00:06:10,319 --> 00:06:13,991
No, please. Don't tell Charles.
He only knows about three.
152
00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:16,577
Back-to-back "Catfish" situations.
153
00:06:17,286 --> 00:06:19,038
Same kid both times, actually.
154
00:06:19,539 --> 00:06:22,584
That's okay.
It just took you a while to get it right.
155
00:06:22,668 --> 00:06:24,962
Yeah.
Or maybe I'm just doing the same thing
156
00:06:25,254 --> 00:06:26,963
over and over again.
157
00:06:27,047 --> 00:06:30,384
Lynn Boyle rushes
headlong into another mistake.
158
00:06:30,468 --> 00:06:33,889
It's like that time I tried water
aerobics and I broke my neck.
159
00:06:36,017 --> 00:06:37,101
This is a disaster.
160
00:06:37,601 --> 00:06:39,401
All right. I'm gonna go get Charles.
161
00:06:39,896 --> 00:06:41,940
I wonder what Jenny
Gildenhorn will be wearing tonight.
162
00:06:42,024 --> 00:06:43,775
Do you think she'll be in her
high school field hockey uniform?
163
00:06:43,859 --> 00:06:44,902
That'd be crazy, right?
164
00:06:44,986 --> 00:06:47,571
Yes, it'd be crazy if that's
what she wears to a wedding.
165
00:06:47,655 --> 00:06:48,698
Yeah, you're right.
166
00:06:48,990 --> 00:06:51,701
[SIGHS] Well, I hate to say
it, but there's no sign of Minsk.
167
00:06:51,785 --> 00:06:53,495
We should really get going. Jenny awaits.
168
00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:54,621
Oh, my God, look!
169
00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:56,666
Fung!
170
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,700
Minsk. Right, Minsk. I know it's Minsk.
171
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,003
PERALTA: Let's go!
172
00:07:03,799 --> 00:07:05,799
Clear. He's got to be in here somewhere.
173
00:07:06,177 --> 00:07:07,220
Clear.
174
00:07:08,638 --> 00:07:10,974
I love this. Tux on, gun out.
175
00:07:11,099 --> 00:07:12,518
I feel like James Bond.
176
00:07:12,602 --> 00:07:15,729
And you are my mysterious femme
fatale that I've been partnered with.
177
00:07:15,813 --> 00:07:17,524
Maxi Pads.
178
00:07:17,608 --> 00:07:18,984
Maxi Pads? I don't know.
179
00:07:19,068 --> 00:07:21,868
I didn't want to make the
name too sexual and I panicked.
180
00:07:23,823 --> 00:07:24,865
Clear!
181
00:07:24,949 --> 00:07:26,617
If we catch this guy
in the next 15 minutes,
182
00:07:26,701 --> 00:07:27,743
we can still make the wedding.
183
00:07:27,827 --> 00:07:30,163
So, what's your opening line
gonna be with Jenny Gildenhorn?
184
00:07:30,247 --> 00:07:32,582
I was thinking I'd go
with "Jamie Gordenhorn?"
185
00:07:32,666 --> 00:07:33,917
You know, make it
seem like I haven't been
186
00:07:34,001 --> 00:07:35,628
staring at her on the
Internet for the past 20 years.
187
00:07:35,712 --> 00:07:38,923
Or you could call her by her real name.
Girls like that.
188
00:07:39,007 --> 00:07:41,427
I don't know.
I think girls like being deceived.
189
00:07:41,511 --> 00:07:43,221
[SIGHS] No? Okay.
190
00:07:45,641 --> 00:07:46,683
Clear.
191
00:07:47,142 --> 00:07:49,936
So, you're really okay with
me and Jenny Gildenhorn, huh?
192
00:07:50,020 --> 00:07:52,898
Totally. Stuff with us is in the past.
We talked about that.
193
00:07:52,982 --> 00:07:55,609
I know, but that was before
you saw me in this dope-ass tux.
194
00:07:55,693 --> 00:07:57,279
I mean, you must be freaking out.
195
00:07:57,363 --> 00:07:59,990
Oh, I am. I'm really into rented clothes.
196
00:08:00,074 --> 00:08:01,616
I love how many butts have been in them.
197
00:08:01,700 --> 00:08:04,412
I know you're making fun of me, but
that sexy voice is kinda getting me going.
198
00:08:04,496 --> 00:08:07,206
But more importantly, this
is a fancy outfit. All right?
199
00:08:07,290 --> 00:08:10,127
I sprang for the three-button jacket.
It was $8 extra.
200
00:08:10,211 --> 00:08:11,504
[CLATTERING]
201
00:08:11,712 --> 00:08:13,062
He's heading for the alley!
202
00:08:15,008 --> 00:08:16,509
-[LYNN WHIMPERING]
-Hey.
203
00:08:16,593 --> 00:08:19,013
Dad, it's your son under here.
204
00:08:19,097 --> 00:08:20,264
Charles Boyle.
205
00:08:20,348 --> 00:08:22,141
Rosa said you had a personal question.
206
00:08:22,225 --> 00:08:23,667
No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm just
207
00:08:23,751 --> 00:08:25,938
second-guessing every
decision I ever made.
208
00:08:26,564 --> 00:08:28,565
Oh, my God.
Why did I buy a cube-shaped car?
209
00:08:28,649 --> 00:08:30,068
Because you love it.
210
00:08:30,152 --> 00:08:33,238
Dad, listen. Let's just sit down and… Oh!
211
00:08:33,572 --> 00:08:35,282
Screw a 2,000-year-old tradition.
212
00:08:35,741 --> 00:08:37,743
I'm taking the bag off.
213
00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:40,580
[SCREAMS] Okay, Dad, listen.
214
00:08:40,998 --> 00:08:42,832
Everyone gets nervous.
Everyone gets cold feet.
215
00:08:42,916 --> 00:08:45,376
Uh-huh.
I was nervous before I married Eleanor.
216
00:08:45,460 --> 00:08:48,339
She ended up cheating on you with
the guy from the mattress commercial.
217
00:08:48,423 --> 00:08:50,508
Sleepy Stu? Don't bring up Sleepy Stu.
218
00:08:50,592 --> 00:08:52,302
Rosa thinks I should
call off the wedding.
219
00:08:52,386 --> 00:08:54,554
That is not what I said.
This is why I don't talk to people.
220
00:08:54,638 --> 00:08:56,181
I just asked him if he
was feeling nervous.
221
00:08:56,265 --> 00:08:59,268
Rosa.
You know how suggestible Boyle men are.
222
00:08:59,352 --> 00:09:03,052
I saw one Samuel L. Jackson movie,
and I wore a Kangol hat for three years!
223
00:09:03,733 --> 00:09:05,860
Uh, there has been a mix-up
224
00:09:05,985 --> 00:09:08,135
and the caterer has
cooked one of the doves.
225
00:09:08,446 --> 00:09:10,907
So, I need some good news.
226
00:09:10,991 --> 00:09:12,242
How is that speech going?
227
00:09:12,326 --> 00:09:13,618
Do you want hear it? Yes.
228
00:09:13,702 --> 00:09:18,333
"Darlene and Lynn, I want you to
remember the words of Luther Vandross.
229
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,420
"A thousand kisses from you…"
230
00:09:22,838 --> 00:09:27,469
[SNIFFLING] "A thousand kisses from you…"
231
00:09:28,011 --> 00:09:30,361
[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
"…is never too much."
232
00:09:31,224 --> 00:09:32,474
Every time he reads it, he breaks down.
233
00:09:32,558 --> 00:09:34,727
I thought you had done this before.
234
00:09:35,102 --> 00:09:37,438
Yeah, but that was
just workout metaphors.
235
00:09:37,522 --> 00:09:41,401
You told me to "get gorgeous" with it,
and it took me to some very real places.
236
00:09:41,485 --> 00:09:43,363
Terry, I'm sorry, but you're fired.
237
00:09:43,988 --> 00:09:45,490
Captain, the speech is yours.
238
00:09:45,657 --> 00:09:48,035
It needs to be emotional and poetic.
239
00:09:48,827 --> 00:09:49,870
Can you do it?
240
00:09:49,954 --> 00:09:53,458
Well, my first captain used
to call me Emily Dickinson.
241
00:09:53,708 --> 00:09:55,001
Great. [GIGGLES]
242
00:09:55,543 --> 00:09:57,712
Of course, he meant it as
an insult about my sexuality.
243
00:09:57,796 --> 00:09:59,048
But don't worry.
244
00:09:59,215 --> 00:10:01,634
I am good at emotion.
245
00:10:06,223 --> 00:10:08,225
NYPD! We know you're here, Minsk!
246
00:10:09,518 --> 00:10:10,668
-Freeze!
-[BAGS RUSTLING]
247
00:10:10,895 --> 00:10:11,937
Hey!
248
00:10:12,021 --> 00:10:13,064
[GRUNTING]
249
00:10:18,529 --> 00:10:20,906
Gregor Minsk, you're under arrest.
250
00:10:21,908 --> 00:10:22,951
Aw!
251
00:10:23,285 --> 00:10:25,536
I can't let Jenny see me like this.
I ripped my cummerbund.
252
00:10:25,620 --> 00:10:28,070
It's okay, I have an extra one.
You can borrow it.
253
00:10:28,249 --> 00:10:30,149
From my high school jazz band uniform.
254
00:10:30,918 --> 00:10:34,268
I'm only gonna tell you this because
you were a great partner today.
255
00:10:34,589 --> 00:10:36,550
I played French horn. [GASPING]
256
00:10:38,177 --> 00:10:45,144
I still do. Oh, whaaat!
257
00:10:45,352 --> 00:10:47,479
The guests are all here
and nothing is ready.
258
00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:50,524
We don't have a ring, the
cake says, "Darlene and Lunn,"
259
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:52,026
and the smoke machine is not working.
260
00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:54,111
I could crouch by the altar and vape.
261
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,449
You are a stone-cold atrocity.
262
00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:59,785
Okay, we just need to make
sure nothing else goes wrong.
263
00:10:59,994 --> 00:11:01,037
Charles? Hmm?
264
00:11:01,121 --> 00:11:02,789
Where is your dad? Where is Lunn?
265
00:11:02,873 --> 00:11:05,541
Um, he's still having a little
trouble with his cuff links.
266
00:11:05,625 --> 00:11:08,170
You know us Boyle men
and our clumsy ham hands.
267
00:11:08,254 --> 00:11:11,048
Please say you're not gonna
reference your ham hands in your toast.
268
00:11:11,132 --> 00:11:13,218
Well, you made me take
out the brother-sister sex stuff,
269
00:11:13,302 --> 00:11:16,346
so there was this big hole on page 18.
Page 18?
270
00:11:16,430 --> 00:11:18,557
Made it. Made it in time. Oh!
271
00:11:18,641 --> 00:11:21,310
Amy, your dress is filthy.
272
00:11:21,394 --> 00:11:23,105
Luckily, I brought you a spare outfit.
273
00:11:23,189 --> 00:11:25,524
Huh? I knew I was going
to hate whatever you chose.
274
00:11:25,608 --> 00:11:28,403
Oh, my God. It's Jenny. She's here.
275
00:11:28,487 --> 00:11:29,946
Okay. How do I look?
276
00:11:30,030 --> 00:11:31,865
You look great. Go get her, Bond.
277
00:11:32,032 --> 00:11:33,283
Thanks, Maxi Pads.
278
00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:38,580
Jenny Gildenhorn? [CHUCKLES] I
didn't know you were coming to this.
279
00:11:38,664 --> 00:11:40,083
Jake Peralta? Yeah.
280
00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:41,584
Oh, my God, how are you?
281
00:11:41,668 --> 00:11:43,587
I'm good. I'm good. Wow.
282
00:11:43,921 --> 00:11:45,756
Uh, sorry I'm a little bit ruffled.
283
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:48,384
I arrested a very dangerous
counterfeiter on my way here.
284
00:11:48,468 --> 00:11:51,430
Ah, look at that. One of my
three jacket buttons is unbuttoned.
285
00:11:51,514 --> 00:11:54,314
Must have happened during the fight.
That's embarrassing.
286
00:11:54,850 --> 00:11:57,478
Hey, I don't know anyone here.
Do you want to sit together?
287
00:11:57,562 --> 00:11:59,856
Uh, yes, I would. After you.
288
00:12:00,524 --> 00:12:02,193
Uh, Jake, wait.
289
00:12:02,318 --> 00:12:03,777
What are you doing? Give me the ring.
290
00:12:03,861 --> 00:12:05,237
[CHUCKLES] You sound like Gollum.
291
00:12:05,321 --> 00:12:08,241
That means nothing to me.
I don't see those movies. I'm too pretty.
292
00:12:08,325 --> 00:12:09,618
Okay, well, not to worry.
293
00:12:10,035 --> 00:12:11,485
I've got the ring right here.
294
00:12:11,745 --> 00:12:14,206
Nope, those are my mints.
I eat mints, no big deal.
295
00:12:14,290 --> 00:12:16,751
Um… Uh-huh.
296
00:12:17,710 --> 00:12:20,506
I lost the ring. Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
297
00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:24,260
I must have dropped the ring somewhere
around here during the take-down.
298
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:27,555
I'm so stupid. No, it's my fault.
I made us go after Minsk.
299
00:12:27,639 --> 00:12:29,767
Please don't climb in here.
I don't want you smelling like garbage
300
00:12:29,851 --> 00:12:31,560
for your slow dance
with Jenny Gildenhorn.
301
00:12:31,644 --> 00:12:33,520
Oh, don't worry.
The only thing I'm gonna smell like
302
00:12:33,604 --> 00:12:35,815
is the Jason Priestley
cologne I wore in middle school.
303
00:12:35,899 --> 00:12:38,527
It's just called "Brandon"
and it is overpowering.
304
00:12:38,819 --> 00:12:40,780
[GASPS] Jake! Look!
305
00:12:40,864 --> 00:12:42,282
Oh, my God, you found it!
306
00:12:42,657 --> 00:12:44,367
And you're on one knee.
Are you proposing?
307
00:12:44,451 --> 00:12:47,788
Yes.
Will you, Jacob Peralta, accept this ring
308
00:12:47,872 --> 00:12:50,457
and bring it with me to our
weird friends' parents' wedding?
309
00:12:50,541 --> 00:12:52,627
Yes. A thousand times, yes.
310
00:12:52,711 --> 00:12:53,753
[SIGHS]
311
00:12:55,464 --> 00:12:57,841
Tight. Yeah, it's so tight, dawg.
312
00:12:57,925 --> 00:13:00,075
Yeah, no, I mean the
ring is actually tight.
313
00:13:00,887 --> 00:13:03,137
[GRUNTING] Amy, it's stuck.
The ring is stuck.
314
00:13:03,223 --> 00:13:04,973
No, no, no, no, no, no. Let me try.
315
00:13:05,058 --> 00:13:07,858
We have to get this off.
Jenny's gonna think I'm married.
316
00:13:08,270 --> 00:13:10,420
Also, it'll ruin Lynn
and Darlene's wedding.
317
00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:11,607
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just us here.
318
00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:13,818
You don't have to pretend
like you care about them.
319
00:13:13,902 --> 00:13:15,905
[SIGHS] Okay, Jake has the ring.
320
00:13:16,405 --> 00:13:18,490
I found an extra place
setting for your psychic.
321
00:13:18,574 --> 00:13:21,912
Strange. She said you wouldn't be able to.
Because she's a fraud.
322
00:13:22,329 --> 00:13:24,129
You need to start seeing my psychic.
323
00:13:24,247 --> 00:13:27,502
Best of all, I fixed this.
324
00:13:28,127 --> 00:13:29,827
It's working. How did you do that?
325
00:13:29,962 --> 00:13:32,507
I grew up with a smoke machine
in the apartment, Charles.
326
00:13:32,591 --> 00:13:35,594
I liked to enter the kitchen
in the morning with vivacity.
327
00:13:35,719 --> 00:13:38,473
Regina, you're amazing.
Everything is just perfect.
328
00:13:38,598 --> 00:13:42,102
Thank you for making this
the third best day of my life.
329
00:13:42,394 --> 00:13:44,438
Third? The first was having you.
330
00:13:44,605 --> 00:13:47,776
Second was sleeping with a
roadie from the Steve Miller Band.
331
00:13:48,109 --> 00:13:50,027
I love you, Mom. I love you.
332
00:13:50,111 --> 00:13:52,196
[BOTH SMOOCHING]
333
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:53,866
I'm gonna grab some of those
if you're throwing them out.
334
00:13:53,950 --> 00:13:54,992
Muah!
335
00:13:56,953 --> 00:14:00,332
Bye, Mom.
[CLEARS THROAT] You did so great.
336
00:14:00,499 --> 00:14:02,626
I, however, hit a small snag.
337
00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:06,631
[WHIMPERING] No!
Do not take off that tux, Lynn!
338
00:14:06,798 --> 00:14:08,549
What are you doing? We had a deal.
339
00:14:08,633 --> 00:14:12,220
I said if you hurt my mother, I
will cut off your son's testicles.
340
00:14:12,304 --> 00:14:14,848
You're right. Cut 'em off. No!
341
00:14:15,140 --> 00:14:17,310
Okay. As much as I would love to do that,
342
00:14:17,435 --> 00:14:19,035
I would like my mom to be happy.
343
00:14:19,271 --> 00:14:20,939
So, can you please have a seat? Mmm-hmm.
344
00:14:21,023 --> 00:14:23,484
And just explain to me what is going on?
345
00:14:23,609 --> 00:14:26,069
I'm worried I'm just rushing into this.
346
00:14:26,153 --> 00:14:27,739
I barely know your mom.
347
00:14:27,823 --> 00:14:30,241
I don't even know her
favorite kind of soup.
348
00:14:30,325 --> 00:14:33,079
Is it tomato? Nobody likes soup, Lynn.
349
00:14:33,913 --> 00:14:36,999
You're a family of soup haters.
What have I done?
350
00:14:37,083 --> 00:14:40,170
Look. Do you know why my mom loves you?
351
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:43,048
Because you take big risks.
352
00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:45,551
Like how you got her that
dog on your second date.
353
00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:48,847
Those kind of things just
blow up in my face half the time.
354
00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:50,599
I mean, the dog worked out great, but…
355
00:14:50,683 --> 00:14:52,810
The dog was a disaster. She hates it.
356
00:14:53,144 --> 00:14:55,044
But she loved that you took that shot.
357
00:14:55,188 --> 00:14:58,567
Do you know who never,
ever rushes into anything?
358
00:14:59,318 --> 00:15:00,361
Cowards.
359
00:15:01,404 --> 00:15:03,156
That's exactly right, Rosa.
360
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:05,116
Cowards.
361
00:15:05,283 --> 00:15:06,577
And you're a weirdo.
362
00:15:06,702 --> 00:15:08,286
I'd call you a hobbit. Mmm-hmm.
363
00:15:08,370 --> 00:15:10,623
A human pile of mashed potatoes. Mmm-hmm.
364
00:15:10,831 --> 00:15:13,042
But you are no coward, Lynn Boyle.
365
00:15:13,126 --> 00:15:15,086
Lynn Linetti.
I'm taking your mother's name.
366
00:15:15,170 --> 00:15:16,714
Oh, you're making this hard.
367
00:15:17,465 --> 00:15:19,759
My mom loves you. You love her.
368
00:15:19,884 --> 00:15:21,927
Now, follow your big, weird heart.
369
00:15:22,095 --> 00:15:23,889
Oh, you're right.
370
00:15:24,389 --> 00:15:25,891
It's time for a wedding!
371
00:15:27,517 --> 00:15:28,853
Pants, Dad! Pants!
372
00:15:29,270 --> 00:15:30,647
A wedding with pants. Yeah.
373
00:15:30,980 --> 00:15:33,149
The wedding's starting soon.
How're things going?
374
00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:37,571
I was just ordained at
www.internetministry4cheap.com,
375
00:15:37,655 --> 00:15:39,699
but I'm having some
trouble with my speech.
376
00:15:39,783 --> 00:15:41,450
All I've got so far is a poem.
377
00:15:41,534 --> 00:15:44,287
Ooh, a poem. Sounds romantic.
378
00:15:45,164 --> 00:15:51,546
Marriage is a contract between
two adults of different families.
379
00:15:52,422 --> 00:15:54,633
It's a haiku. And a fact.
380
00:15:55,593 --> 00:15:56,743
It works on two levels.
381
00:15:56,886 --> 00:15:59,263
Well, it feels a little impersonal.
382
00:15:59,347 --> 00:16:01,349
What did the officiant
say when you got married?
383
00:16:01,433 --> 00:16:03,643
Not much.
When gay marriage was legalized,
384
00:16:03,727 --> 00:16:05,353
we weren't sure if or when
it was gonna be struck down.
385
00:16:05,437 --> 00:16:07,440
So, speed was of the essence.
386
00:16:08,149 --> 00:16:09,900
Do you, Kevin… Yes.
387
00:16:09,984 --> 00:16:11,569
And do you… Yes, yes, we do.
388
00:16:12,070 --> 00:16:13,114
We're married.
389
00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:14,323
I remarked afterwards
390
00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:18,161
that I wished the o-fficiant
had been more e-fficient.
391
00:16:18,245 --> 00:16:21,581
[CHUCKLES] It was very funny.
Kevin still talks about it.
392
00:16:22,082 --> 00:16:24,182
A-ha, maybe I should
open with that zinger.
393
00:16:24,752 --> 00:16:26,462
It is amazingly funny.
394
00:16:27,338 --> 00:16:29,842
I'm just not sure this
is the right crowd for it.
395
00:16:30,342 --> 00:16:33,095
No zinger? No haiku? Then I have nothing.
396
00:16:33,804 --> 00:16:34,954
Maybe I should wing it.
397
00:16:35,932 --> 00:16:39,978
Love, it sustains you.
398
00:16:41,105 --> 00:16:43,732
It's like…oatmeal.
399
00:16:43,816 --> 00:16:46,945
Okay. Okay. Not bad for winging it.
400
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:49,990
I lied.
It took me two hours to write that.
401
00:16:51,993 --> 00:16:54,870
How do I look? Oh, you look incredible!
402
00:16:54,954 --> 00:16:56,539
Up high. Down low.
403
00:16:56,874 --> 00:16:58,174
BOTH: Butts, butts, butts.
404
00:16:58,292 --> 00:17:00,126
You're the worst family in history.
405
00:17:00,210 --> 00:17:02,964
But at least you're ready.
Scully has run out of songs.
406
00:17:03,214 --> 00:17:04,514
Right now, he's singing…
407
00:17:04,632 --> 00:17:06,509
[SINGING BADLY]
♪ Don't, don't, don't, don't ♪
408
00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:09,471
♪ Don't you forget about me ♪
409
00:17:09,555 --> 00:17:11,405
Best rock and roll song ever written.
410
00:17:11,766 --> 00:17:12,808
BOTH: Tied with "Kokomo."
411
00:17:12,892 --> 00:17:15,645
Hey. So, we have good
news and we have great news.
412
00:17:15,729 --> 00:17:17,397
The good news is we found the ring.
413
00:17:17,481 --> 00:17:18,690
The great news is
we'll never lose it again.
414
00:17:18,774 --> 00:17:20,025
What are you trying to say?
415
00:17:20,109 --> 00:17:22,653
The ring is stuck on his finger.
I told him not to be cute about it.
416
00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:24,071
I'm cute about everything.
417
00:17:24,155 --> 00:17:26,074
Okay. Okay. What do we do?
418
00:17:26,158 --> 00:17:28,576
I could pull the ring off, but
it might hurt your little fingers.
419
00:17:28,660 --> 00:17:32,160
That's fine. I just won't look so I
don't know when you're gonna do it.
420
00:17:32,707 --> 00:17:34,292
Jenny, no!
421
00:17:34,584 --> 00:17:39,173
[YELLING]
422
00:17:40,549 --> 00:17:43,011
[PIANO PLAYING]
423
00:17:43,136 --> 00:17:46,723
Okay, this is your last chance
to carry me bodyguard-style. So…
424
00:17:47,016 --> 00:17:48,100
Absolutely not.
425
00:17:49,352 --> 00:17:51,602
Twenty years later and
I've been Funged again.
426
00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:53,023
She Funged me.
427
00:17:53,774 --> 00:17:55,150
She doesn't seem that great.
428
00:17:55,234 --> 00:17:58,112
We just saw her making out
with a guy she barely even knows.
429
00:17:58,196 --> 00:17:59,864
No. It's not her fault.
430
00:17:59,989 --> 00:18:01,689
Did you see that guy's tux jacket?
431
00:18:02,283 --> 00:18:03,368
Four buttons.
432
00:18:04,286 --> 00:18:05,328
[SIGHS]
433
00:18:05,412 --> 00:18:08,249
[HARP PLAYING]
434
00:18:08,999 --> 00:18:11,545
We did this. Our sex made this happen.
435
00:18:11,795 --> 00:18:14,339
Charles, mic's on.
We can hear all of this, bud.
436
00:18:22,599 --> 00:18:23,808
I am Captain Raymond Holt.
437
00:18:23,892 --> 00:18:24,935
Welcome.
438
00:18:26,104 --> 00:18:28,398
Marriage is a contract.
439
00:18:30,984 --> 00:18:32,584
But it's so much more than that.
440
00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:36,699
Marriage is love. It's commitment.
441
00:18:37,409 --> 00:18:39,786
It's joy. It's understanding.
442
00:18:39,911 --> 00:18:42,665
It's patience. It's anger.
443
00:18:43,416 --> 00:18:44,792
It's reconciliation.
444
00:18:45,251 --> 00:18:47,253
It's everything. It's like oatmeal.
445
00:18:48,338 --> 00:18:50,591
It sustains you.
446
00:18:51,550 --> 00:18:54,554
Darlene, do you take Lynn to be
your lawfully wedded husband?
447
00:18:54,679 --> 00:18:55,721
I do.
448
00:18:55,805 --> 00:18:58,224
Lynn, do you take Darlene to
be your lawfully wedded wife?
449
00:18:58,308 --> 00:18:59,351
I do.
450
00:18:59,435 --> 00:19:02,395
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
451
00:19:02,479 --> 00:19:04,064
[APPLAUSE, CHEERING]
452
00:19:04,983 --> 00:19:06,109
Yeah! Get it, Daddy!
453
00:19:11,657 --> 00:19:14,368
I gotta hand it to you, Captain.
That was some ceremony.
454
00:19:14,452 --> 00:19:17,497
It wasn't difficult.
I simply said what I wish had been said
455
00:19:17,581 --> 00:19:19,031
when Kevin and I got married.
456
00:19:19,124 --> 00:19:20,291
Oh, well, then I never would have heard
457
00:19:20,375 --> 00:19:22,127
your hilarious efficient-officiant quip.
458
00:19:22,211 --> 00:19:24,088
Mmm. You're right. I regret nothing.
459
00:19:25,173 --> 00:19:26,924
But all this does make
me think I might enjoy
460
00:19:27,008 --> 00:19:30,846
a more festive expression of
our commitment to one another.
461
00:19:31,263 --> 00:19:34,063
Are you suggesting we hold
an honest to goodness wedding?
462
00:19:34,643 --> 00:19:38,146
Nothing too elaborate.
We're not the Kardashian-Wests, after all.
463
00:19:38,773 --> 00:19:41,900
They are a musician and a celebrity
personality who recently wedded.
464
00:19:41,984 --> 00:19:44,362
Yes, yes. I know.
They were answers on Jeopardy.
465
00:19:44,446 --> 00:19:45,864
I think you mean questions.
466
00:19:45,948 --> 00:19:48,116
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
467
00:19:48,283 --> 00:19:49,494
You guys are fun.
468
00:19:50,161 --> 00:19:52,079
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
469
00:19:52,163 --> 00:19:53,790
He's not playing my playlist.
470
00:19:54,540 --> 00:19:56,460
Congratulations, Charles. Marcus!
471
00:19:56,794 --> 00:19:57,878
Rosa said you weren't coming.
472
00:19:57,962 --> 00:20:00,840
Yeah, I wasn't.
I just got the call about an hour ago.
473
00:20:01,341 --> 00:20:04,552
Uh, but hey, I'm DVR-ing
Bones, so no spoilers.
474
00:20:04,636 --> 00:20:06,536
Don't worry. I don't watch. Too scary.
475
00:20:07,306 --> 00:20:10,643
I'm gonna ask the DJ to play
"Kokomo" and get this place turned up.
476
00:20:13,814 --> 00:20:17,652
So, I didn't ask you to the wedding
because I was being a coward.
477
00:20:18,152 --> 00:20:21,552
I was scared things were moving
too quickly, but I don't give a crap.
478
00:20:22,490 --> 00:20:23,534
I love you.
479
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:26,536
That's all I wanted to say.
If you had plans tonight,
480
00:20:26,620 --> 00:20:27,820
you can get out of here.
481
00:20:29,332 --> 00:20:30,500
I love you, too.
482
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:37,008
Doesn't have "Kokomo."
483
00:20:37,633 --> 00:20:39,301
You guys are in the middle of something.
484
00:20:39,385 --> 00:20:41,346
I'm gonna go to the car and get my CDs.
485
00:20:42,014 --> 00:20:43,849
MAN: ♪ I'm all out of love ♪
486
00:20:44,182 --> 00:20:45,893
♪ I'm so lost without you ♪
487
00:20:45,977 --> 00:20:47,895
How is this song playing?
488
00:20:48,688 --> 00:20:52,233
-♪ Believing for so long ♪
-[SIGHS] Hey.
489
00:20:52,317 --> 00:20:54,361
I'm sorry you missed your
chance with Jenny Gildenhorn.
490
00:20:54,445 --> 00:20:56,196
Ah, it's not a big deal.
She's just a girl
491
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,180
that I've been obsessed with
since I learned what love was.
492
00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:01,376
Well, we got the bad guy today.
493
00:21:01,828 --> 00:21:03,078
Thank you for helping me.
494
00:21:03,581 --> 00:21:05,958
And I know it's not Jenny Gildenhorn,
495
00:21:06,042 --> 00:21:08,086
but if you wanted to slow-dance tonight,
496
00:21:08,170 --> 00:21:09,920
I know somebody who'd be into that.
497
00:21:10,547 --> 00:21:11,590
Okay.
498
00:21:12,215 --> 00:21:15,052
Perfect.
This is Gina's great-aunt, Susan.
499
00:21:15,136 --> 00:21:16,845
Hi.
She's been asking about you all night.
500
00:21:16,929 --> 00:21:18,013
She thinks you're very handsome.
501
00:21:18,097 --> 00:21:19,599
Says you have a dancer's frame.
502
00:21:19,683 --> 00:21:22,186
Well, you have a good eye, milady.
Shall we?
503
00:21:23,353 --> 00:21:25,231
-[SIGHS]
-[WHISPERING] You!
504
00:21:25,482 --> 00:21:26,774
[CHUCKLES]
505
00:21:26,858 --> 00:21:28,401
I'm all out of love
506
00:21:28,860 --> 00:21:31,030
What am I without you?
507
00:21:31,989 --> 00:21:33,074
She's very handsy.