1
00:00:04,194 --> 00:00:06,570
Hey, Boyle, I need a
recommendation for a good restaurant.
2
00:00:06,654 --> 00:00:10,240
It's Marcus' birthday and I
wanna do something… Nice.
3
00:00:10,740 --> 00:00:15,535
Ooh. Do you want classic romantic
or gastro sensuous? Ugh. Never mind.
4
00:00:15,785 --> 00:00:19,078
I know those categories. You guys
are talking dates. Here's what you do.
5
00:00:19,162 --> 00:00:22,039
Invite him over, order some
fancy takeout, throw it in a pot, and
6
00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:24,832
act like you cooked it.
I got the idea from Yahoo Answers.
7
00:00:24,916 --> 00:00:27,292
Dude, I'm not gonna buy a pot.
We're not married.
8
00:00:27,376 --> 00:00:29,294
GINA: Okay, do you know what time it is?
9
00:00:29,378 --> 00:00:33,255
Because, my hoodie does!
10
00:00:33,547 --> 00:00:36,131
Look at that. Mmm.
I have either two or four words for you.
11
00:00:36,215 --> 00:00:38,634
Drag queen, dim sum.
12
00:00:38,718 --> 00:00:41,928
You're talking about this Friday night?
Everything's going to be booked.
13
00:00:42,012 --> 00:00:44,262
We're only 72 hours out and we're
still in the brainstorming phase?
14
00:00:44,346 --> 00:00:45,388
You gotta postpone.
15
00:00:45,472 --> 00:00:47,223
You can't postpone a birthday, Amy.
16
00:00:47,390 --> 00:00:51,559
But if you can't get a reservation, you
can always go home and shampoo his hair.
17
00:00:51,643 --> 00:00:54,936
Please stop always recommending that.
Well, it's always romantic.
18
00:00:55,061 --> 00:00:58,230
You could go to the top of the Empire
State Building. That's very romantic.
19
00:00:58,314 --> 00:00:59,981
Huh. Maybe I will.
20
00:01:00,065 --> 00:01:01,816
And you can pee on the
whole city from up there.
21
00:01:01,900 --> 00:01:02,984
ALL: Come on!
22
00:01:03,234 --> 00:01:05,652
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
23
00:01:22,872 --> 00:01:28,335
Take it. Take it. Come on!
This stupid machine won't take my dollar.
24
00:01:28,501 --> 00:01:30,377
That's half a dollar
taped to a pizza coupon.
25
00:01:30,461 --> 00:01:32,629
It's good for a cheesy bread worth $2.50.
26
00:01:32,962 --> 00:01:35,089
You would have made
money on this deal, machine!
27
00:01:35,173 --> 00:01:36,673
Hey, Sarge, can I borrow a dollar?
28
00:01:36,757 --> 00:01:40,384
No. No more loans.
You already owe me way too much.
29
00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:42,552
The Bank of Terry is closed.
30
00:01:42,677 --> 00:01:44,095
What, are you sailing away on a tugboat?
31
00:01:44,179 --> 00:01:45,720
Man, I love tugboats.
32
00:01:45,804 --> 00:01:48,389
It's not a tugboat!
I'm locking the vault!
33
00:01:48,473 --> 00:01:51,558
All right, fine. How much could I
possibly owe you? 50, 60 bucks?
34
00:01:51,642 --> 00:01:53,768
$2,437.
35
00:01:53,852 --> 00:01:57,186
Dollars? Wait, of course dollars.
Why was that the part I was surprised by?
36
00:01:57,270 --> 00:01:59,731
Jake, I would appreciate
it if you paid me back.
37
00:02:01,732 --> 00:02:04,441
Well, that's the craziest
thing anyone's ever said to me.
38
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:06,193
"I would appreciate it
if you paid me back?"
39
00:02:06,277 --> 00:02:07,944
Good. So you heard it, too.
40
00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:10,279
I've been in debt to him forever
and he's never cared before.
41
00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:14,156
Something's up. I'm gonna drop everything
and figure out why he's acting weird.
42
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:15,575
Or you could just pay him what you owe.
43
00:02:15,659 --> 00:02:17,660
[LAUGHS] Hilarious, Rosa.
44
00:02:17,910 --> 00:02:20,453
[LAUGHS] Hilarious.
45
00:02:21,704 --> 00:02:25,163
Santiago, whenever you can,
please drop off those case files.
46
00:02:25,247 --> 00:02:26,498
You got it, partner! Be right in.
47
00:02:26,582 --> 00:02:31,044
"Partner?" What is going on? Is this
a Make-A-Wish thing? Are you dying?
48
00:02:31,169 --> 00:02:32,586
Is it from loneliness?
49
00:02:32,670 --> 00:02:34,753
I found a mistake in one
of the Captain's old cases
50
00:02:34,837 --> 00:02:37,237
and he asked me to work it with him.
As partners.
51
00:02:38,256 --> 00:02:40,300
We're taking our
relationship to the next level.
52
00:02:40,384 --> 00:02:43,086
From awkward underling
to awkward colleague,
53
00:02:43,170 --> 00:02:45,387
this is a real ugly duckling story.
54
00:02:45,845 --> 00:02:47,846
We're going to bounce
ideas off each other,
55
00:02:47,930 --> 00:02:50,080
eat street meat while
we stakeout some perp,
56
00:02:50,431 --> 00:02:51,849
bond over burned coffee…
57
00:02:51,933 --> 00:02:53,683
Santiago! Now means now! Hmm?
58
00:02:53,767 --> 00:02:56,268
You got it. See?
Can't wait to work with me.
59
00:02:56,852 --> 00:02:58,062
He's clearly pumped.
60
00:02:58,771 --> 00:03:01,397
Hello, Terry. I just thought
I'd stop by and let you know
61
00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:02,981
that I'm on my way to the bank.
62
00:03:03,065 --> 00:03:06,985
That's right. I'm going to pay you
back because I know your secret.
63
00:03:07,735 --> 00:03:10,028
What are you talking about?
I don't have a secret.
64
00:03:10,112 --> 00:03:13,989
Oh, really? Fact the first, after
years of not caring about my debt,
65
00:03:14,073 --> 00:03:16,073
you weirdly want me to pay you back now.
66
00:03:16,241 --> 00:03:19,868
That implies to me that there is
a sudden unexpected expense.
67
00:03:20,119 --> 00:03:22,819
Or I got sick of waiting
for you to do the right thing.
68
00:03:22,912 --> 00:03:26,039
Not plausible, you have endless
patience for my shenanigans.
69
00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:30,048
Fact the second, you've had dentist
appointments twice in the past two weeks.
70
00:03:30,459 --> 00:03:32,309
No one goes to the dentist that much.
71
00:03:32,502 --> 00:03:33,960
I haven't been in seven years.
72
00:03:34,044 --> 00:03:35,795
You should go to the dentist, Jake.
73
00:03:35,879 --> 00:03:38,172
Probably. My teeth hurt all the time.
74
00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:40,767
Fact the third.
I'm really liking this "fact
75
00:03:40,851 --> 00:03:42,634
the" thing. I'm going to stick with it.
76
00:03:42,718 --> 00:03:45,553
Fact the fourth, I
found this on your desk.
77
00:03:45,761 --> 00:03:48,971
It's a list of names.
Nathaniel Jeffords, Alexa Jeffords…
78
00:03:49,055 --> 00:03:50,430
Those are my cousins' names.
79
00:03:50,514 --> 00:03:52,932
Lies! There is but one conclusion.
80
00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:57,435
You, Terry Jeffords, are pregnant!
The names are baby names.
81
00:03:57,519 --> 00:04:04,519
The dentist, an obstetrician. And the
money is for baby things! Like diapers.
82
00:04:04,607 --> 00:04:09,652
[LAUGHS] What are you talking about, man?
That is crazy.
83
00:04:10,153 --> 00:04:12,403
Damn it! Does anybody else know?
84
00:04:12,487 --> 00:04:15,238
No, just you and your wife, and Crash.
85
00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:16,531
That's what I think you
should name the baby,
86
00:04:16,615 --> 00:04:17,907
works for a boy or a girl.
87
00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:21,409
Listen up, Jake.
We just found out Sharon is pregnant
88
00:04:21,493 --> 00:04:23,393
and it's way too early to tell anyone.
89
00:04:24,037 --> 00:04:27,538
This is a secret.
Do you understand me? Yeah.
90
00:04:27,622 --> 00:04:29,957
Do you? Do you understand me?
91
00:04:30,041 --> 00:04:31,583
This got physical very quickly.
92
00:04:31,667 --> 00:04:34,752
This is adult stuff, Jake. Be serious.
93
00:04:34,836 --> 00:04:37,295
Look, I promise I won't tell anyone.
All right? My lips are sealed.
94
00:04:37,379 --> 00:04:40,255
Good. Do I even weigh anything to you?
95
00:04:40,339 --> 00:04:42,883
No, it's like holding a couple of grapes.
96
00:04:43,508 --> 00:04:46,177
Okay, partner, let's bang this out.
97
00:04:46,302 --> 00:04:49,011
Should we grab a cup of coffee,
bounce some theories off each other?
98
00:04:49,095 --> 00:04:50,179
I solved it already.
99
00:04:50,263 --> 00:04:55,182
Oh. Then should we grab a cup of coffee,
you could tell me what you found out and…
100
00:04:55,266 --> 00:04:58,768
No, we can do it here.
The fires were set by Richard Wilcox,
101
00:04:58,852 --> 00:05:01,144
a firefighter who was first
on the scene at all three fires.
102
00:05:01,228 --> 00:05:05,147
Okay, uh, now we just have to
work backwards. Figure out why.
103
00:05:05,231 --> 00:05:07,190
He was up for a promotion
and wanted to look like a hero.
104
00:05:07,274 --> 00:05:10,401
Yep.
But how are we gonna find this bastard?
105
00:05:10,693 --> 00:05:12,152
After all these years,
you know, it could take…
106
00:05:12,236 --> 00:05:13,528
He owns a store. I have the address.
107
00:05:13,612 --> 00:05:15,989
Okay. I could drive.
108
00:05:16,073 --> 00:05:20,075
No. You don't know where we're going.
But if you'd like a cup of coffee,
109
00:05:20,575 --> 00:05:22,617
there's an old bakery
in that neighborhood.
110
00:05:22,701 --> 00:05:23,994
The coffee there is terrible
111
00:05:24,078 --> 00:05:26,537
but I would enjoy the nostalgia.
112
00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:31,999
I love terrible coffee. Now, let's put
away Richard Wilcox, that no good punk.
113
00:05:32,083 --> 00:05:33,209
He's 86 years old.
114
00:05:33,793 --> 00:05:35,293
You don't outgrow punks, sir.
115
00:05:38,754 --> 00:05:42,297
There you are, Sergeant.
Installment one of TBD.
116
00:05:42,381 --> 00:05:44,174
Twelve hundred bucks,
that's everything I have.
117
00:05:44,258 --> 00:05:46,009
You should also note it's all in singles
118
00:05:46,093 --> 00:05:49,053
because it takes so many
bills to fill up a briefcase!
119
00:05:49,303 --> 00:05:50,511
Thanks, Peralta.
120
00:05:50,595 --> 00:05:54,264
You know, it's nice to finally have
someone to share this secret with.
121
00:05:54,932 --> 00:05:55,974
I'm pregnant, man!
122
00:05:56,058 --> 00:06:00,643
Yeah, we're pregnant! "We" because I
convinced you not to get a vasectomy,
123
00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:02,228
so if it wasn't for me,
you'd have no penis.
124
00:06:02,312 --> 00:06:03,937
You still don't know what a vasectomy is?
125
00:06:04,021 --> 00:06:07,821
Hey, so listen, I was thinking now
that I've proven I'm fiscally responsible,
126
00:06:08,191 --> 00:06:11,652
how would you feel about
me being the godfather?
127
00:06:12,485 --> 00:06:16,404
How about this, you don't tell anyone
about the pregnancy for four weeks
128
00:06:16,655 --> 00:06:19,105
and I'll think about you
being the godfather. Yes!
129
00:06:19,573 --> 00:06:21,741
Oh, also, I put a list
of baby names in there.
130
00:06:21,825 --> 00:06:25,994
My favorite? Nakatomi, after the tower
in Die Hard. Works for a boy or a girl.
131
00:06:26,078 --> 00:06:28,663
What's going on?
How'd you get all that money?
132
00:06:28,913 --> 00:06:31,539
By putting bad guys behind bars.
I work for a living.
133
00:06:31,623 --> 00:06:34,166
Jeez. I emptied out my checking account.
134
00:06:34,291 --> 00:06:36,334
Wait. You've owed Terry for years,
135
00:06:36,418 --> 00:06:39,921
and now suddenly you give
him every penny you have? Why?
136
00:06:40,338 --> 00:06:44,339
Why? Oh, wait. Because.
137
00:06:44,423 --> 00:06:45,591
That is not an answer.
138
00:06:45,675 --> 00:06:48,990
No. Well, because you guys got in my head
139
00:06:49,074 --> 00:06:52,638
about owing Terry
money and it convinced me
140
00:06:52,887 --> 00:06:54,513
that it's important to
pay back your friends.
141
00:06:54,597 --> 00:06:55,765
Well, you owe all of us money
142
00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:57,640
so does that mean you're
going to pay all of us back?
143
00:06:57,724 --> 00:07:00,517
Yeah, Jake, or is there something
special about your friendship with Terry?
144
00:07:00,601 --> 00:07:03,811
Nope, nothing special about Terry.
I'm gonna pay everyone.
145
00:07:03,895 --> 00:07:07,189
Man, I really hoped to say this to a
drug dealer who killed my whole family,
146
00:07:07,273 --> 00:07:10,817
but it's payback time.
147
00:07:13,277 --> 00:07:17,071
All right, I made a nice
little dent into my Terry debt.
148
00:07:18,363 --> 00:07:21,532
No applause? Seriously?
Okay, I see how this is going to be.
149
00:07:21,949 --> 00:07:23,366
All right, how much do
I owe the rest of you?
150
00:07:23,450 --> 00:07:27,118
$4,009. What? How is that even possible?
151
00:07:27,202 --> 00:07:30,454
June 3rd, 2008, paid for your lunch.
$8.45.
152
00:07:30,746 --> 00:07:33,456
June 3rd, 2008, bought you a soda. $1.05.
153
00:07:33,707 --> 00:07:36,833
June 3rd, 2008, lent you $4,000
for an entertainment system.
154
00:07:36,917 --> 00:07:37,959
Oh, there it is.
155
00:07:38,043 --> 00:07:39,086
Stopped keeping track after that.
156
00:07:39,170 --> 00:07:40,878
Sure. Sure. Okay.
How about the rest of you?
157
00:07:40,962 --> 00:07:43,797
Uh, 710 dollarinos.
158
00:07:43,881 --> 00:07:46,716
$856.32.
159
00:07:46,924 --> 00:07:49,801
Okay, very specific.
I'm sorry, you guys, but I can't pay that.
160
00:07:49,885 --> 00:07:50,927
It's too much money.
161
00:07:51,011 --> 00:07:52,052
Why don't you just take back the money
162
00:07:52,136 --> 00:07:54,846
you gave to Terry and split it six ways?
Then at least everyone gets something.
163
00:07:54,930 --> 00:07:56,530
Yeah, but Terry needs the money.
164
00:07:56,681 --> 00:07:57,723
For what?
165
00:07:57,807 --> 00:08:02,101
Uh… For butt enhancement surgery.
166
00:08:02,185 --> 00:08:03,816
Smart.
That's a real problem area for Terry.
167
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:04,519
PERALTA: Yeah.
168
00:08:04,603 --> 00:08:08,981
What? I am not having butt
enhancement surgery, nor do I need it.
169
00:08:09,190 --> 00:08:10,606
Okay. So split up the money.
170
00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:12,525
No, no, no. How about this?
171
00:08:13,067 --> 00:08:14,692
I'll work off my debt to each of you.
172
00:08:14,776 --> 00:08:16,860
How's that sound?
I'll do anything you want.
173
00:08:16,944 --> 00:08:18,029
Anything?
174
00:08:18,905 --> 00:08:20,738
Am I the only one that was
super creeped out by that?
175
00:08:20,822 --> 00:08:22,406
No, that was definitely creepy.
176
00:08:22,490 --> 00:08:24,740
Yeah.
He wants you to do something real weird.
177
00:08:26,492 --> 00:08:30,829
Hello, partner!
Two coffees black for me, milk for you.
178
00:08:30,954 --> 00:08:32,080
You remembered how I like it!
179
00:08:32,164 --> 00:08:34,289
Yes with milk. It's just one ingredient.
180
00:08:34,373 --> 00:08:35,999
And you remembered it. Hmm.
181
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:41,336
Anyway, no sign of Wilcox. Maybe
we should talk about deets of the case,
182
00:08:41,420 --> 00:08:43,504
plan our next move, grab a little chow.
183
00:08:43,588 --> 00:08:48,716
No need. I brought these.
Nutrition bricks.
184
00:08:49,342 --> 00:08:53,511
I have, um, original noflavor
and whole wheat noflavor.
185
00:08:55,262 --> 00:08:57,014
Nutrition bricks sound great.
186
00:08:58,056 --> 00:09:01,131
Or we could grab a little street meat.
Kind
187
00:09:01,215 --> 00:09:04,227
of a classic stakeout food, but whatever.
188
00:09:04,685 --> 00:09:10,231
Huh. Meat. From the street.
Sounds like a fun treat.
189
00:09:11,232 --> 00:09:12,274
[CHUCKLES]
190
00:09:12,358 --> 00:09:15,693
I'm a poet and didn't even
know I was rhyming those words.
191
00:09:16,276 --> 00:09:17,527
But it happened anyway.
192
00:09:18,111 --> 00:09:20,961
That's a great idea, partner.
Let's grab some street meat.
193
00:09:21,572 --> 00:09:22,656
Okay.
194
00:09:23,782 --> 00:09:25,116
How's working your debt off going?
195
00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:28,369
Horrible.
Rosa's making me clean her motorcycle.
196
00:09:28,701 --> 00:09:30,202
Payback's a bitch.
197
00:09:30,286 --> 00:09:32,913
God. So many great
payback lines wasted on this.
198
00:09:33,330 --> 00:09:34,788
Damn, this bike's muddy.
199
00:09:34,872 --> 00:09:36,498
And this isn't even the
worst thing I had to do.
200
00:09:36,582 --> 00:09:40,209
Gina made me call people and tell them
she was dead to see how they'd react.
201
00:09:40,293 --> 00:09:43,045
Is she crying? Is she crying? A little.
202
00:09:43,295 --> 00:09:49,841
You should be wailing, you stone
cold bitch! Now call my other grandma.
203
00:09:49,925 --> 00:09:51,592
And then there was Scully.
204
00:09:51,884 --> 00:09:54,969
Lower, lower.
205
00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:56,636
I'm at your butt. Lower.
206
00:09:56,720 --> 00:10:01,683
Apparently he carries his stress in
the B-cheeks. Oh, God. I'm so sorry.
207
00:10:02,267 --> 00:10:03,308
Well, at least, I can help you out.
208
00:10:03,392 --> 00:10:05,976
No, no, no, no.
That will only make people suspicious.
209
00:10:06,060 --> 00:10:07,769
Besides, I don't mind doing
all of these horrible things,
210
00:10:07,853 --> 00:10:09,687
because I want to keep
your secret safe for you
211
00:10:09,771 --> 00:10:13,023
and Sharon and Miata,
works for a boy or a girl.
212
00:10:13,107 --> 00:10:15,733
Well, well, well, what are
you hens clucking about?
213
00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:18,110
What? Nothing. What do you want, Boyle?
214
00:10:18,194 --> 00:10:20,904
To be paid back.
I want you to wash my dogs.
215
00:10:21,404 --> 00:10:24,697
Hmm. Why would I ask that,
given that I know you hate my dogs?
216
00:10:24,781 --> 00:10:26,992
They hump everything. They're passionate!
217
00:10:27,242 --> 00:10:30,493
But you don't have to wash
them at all if you just tell me
218
00:10:30,577 --> 00:10:32,953
what's going on here.
You two have a secret.
219
00:10:33,037 --> 00:10:36,206
I can smell it. Jason, not now. Down.
220
00:10:36,290 --> 00:10:39,833
Ugh. We don't have a secret, all right?
Do we have a secret, Terry?
221
00:10:39,917 --> 00:10:41,876
If we did, it's a secret from me.
222
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:43,128
[ALL LAUGH]
223
00:10:44,712 --> 00:10:47,546
Okay, then wash my dogs.
And be warned, they just watched
224
00:10:47,630 --> 00:10:49,840
Peabody and Sherman,
so they're extra horny.
225
00:10:57,387 --> 00:11:00,973
Ugh! Jason! Wait your turn!
226
00:11:02,098 --> 00:11:04,309
I must say this is quite good.
227
00:11:05,809 --> 00:11:07,936
Is this sauce for your
chicken or my lamb?
228
00:11:08,020 --> 00:11:10,604
Hmm. I don't know. Should we try it?
229
00:11:10,980 --> 00:11:15,024
Let's risk it. God. Oh.
230
00:11:18,818 --> 00:11:19,902
It's amazing!
231
00:11:20,111 --> 00:11:25,156
I don't care for it.
But I tried, and what a story for Kevin.
232
00:11:26,324 --> 00:11:28,741
So who was your partner back
when you caught the Brooklyn Broiler?
233
00:11:28,825 --> 00:11:35,330
Martin Ormankupp. He was a great partner.
Smart, loyal, homophobic but not racist
234
00:11:36,121 --> 00:11:37,789
in those days that was pretty good.
235
00:11:37,873 --> 00:11:39,873
Hmm. How long did you work the case for?
236
00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:43,251
Martin Ormankupp and I
tracked him for eight months.
237
00:11:43,376 --> 00:11:46,326
Almost cost him his marriage
to his wife, Heather Ormankupp.
238
00:11:47,212 --> 00:11:49,797
Oh. Sir, look.
Oh, this could be our man. Let's go.
239
00:11:53,842 --> 00:11:56,842
NYPD. We're partners and we'd
like to ask you some questions.
240
00:11:57,595 --> 00:11:59,012
You're not Richard Wilcox.
241
00:11:59,304 --> 00:12:01,554
That's my grandpa.
He died a couple of weeks ago.
242
00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:02,806
I'm just here cleaning out his shop.
243
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:05,224
Oh, no. Something is wrong here.
244
00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:06,809
What, you think this
punk is lying, partner?
245
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:12,396
No. Something is wrong in my intestine
due to the street meat. We must go now.
246
00:12:12,855 --> 00:12:14,272
Okay.
247
00:12:16,483 --> 00:12:19,192
Oh. Okay. All right, I'll drive.
248
00:12:19,276 --> 00:12:22,326
-[POLICE SIREN WAILING]
-Sir, we could find a a public bathroom!
249
00:12:22,570 --> 00:12:26,280
No. This is a very private emergency.
Ahhh!
250
00:12:26,530 --> 00:12:27,615
[CAR HORN HONKING]
251
00:12:30,367 --> 00:12:34,117
I'm going to the gym, then Sharon is
gonna take me to a dentist appointment.
252
00:12:34,495 --> 00:12:36,395
Damn, Sarge! Your teeth are messed up.
253
00:12:36,537 --> 00:12:38,997
Listen up, everybody.
I just forwarded you an email
254
00:12:39,081 --> 00:12:42,208
about the suspect in those
bodega robberies. Check it out.
255
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,000
We're going to catch this guy.
256
00:12:45,251 --> 00:12:47,753
All right. Let's see here. Hurricane?
257
00:12:48,629 --> 00:12:50,172
Hurricane Jeffords.
258
00:12:50,838 --> 00:12:52,965
Works for a boy or a girl.
259
00:12:53,049 --> 00:12:56,301
I know what's going on, Jake.
What? About who?
260
00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:59,860
With you and Terry. The money,
the private convos. I figured it out.
261
00:13:00,012 --> 00:13:03,762
You stole my idea to open a bowling
alley and you're gonna do it with Terry.
262
00:13:04,014 --> 00:13:08,142
Yep. That's it! Jake.
Fingerholes was our idea.
263
00:13:08,226 --> 00:13:10,143
I do not think it should
be called Fingerholes.
264
00:13:10,227 --> 00:13:13,437
You're not calling it Fingerholes?
Good luck, pal.
265
00:13:13,521 --> 00:13:15,646
Oh, my God. Terry's pregnant?
266
00:13:15,730 --> 00:13:17,273
What? How do you know that?
267
00:13:17,357 --> 00:13:21,235
We all know. You hit reply all
on the email, Grandma Peralta.
268
00:13:21,527 --> 00:13:22,944
Oh, no.
269
00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:30,616
Ah. Good. Great. The secret is out.
270
00:13:32,242 --> 00:13:33,942
I got humped by Jason for nothing.
271
00:13:36,245 --> 00:13:41,331
Okay, yes. Terry is having another kid.
We are pregnant. But that's a secret.
272
00:13:41,581 --> 00:13:42,874
It is way too soon to tell anyone.
273
00:13:42,958 --> 00:13:45,459
I only stumbled across it because
I'm such an amazing detective.
274
00:13:45,543 --> 00:13:48,544
Who accidentally hit reply all
like some idiot on a brunch thread.
275
00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:50,754
Yeah. That. But, look.
276
00:13:50,838 --> 00:13:52,297
Terry can't know the secret is out.
277
00:13:52,381 --> 00:13:53,964
He got the email, too, boo.
278
00:13:54,048 --> 00:13:57,091
Crap. You're right. All right, we just
have to break into his email account,
279
00:13:57,175 --> 00:13:59,301
delete the message while
he's down at the gym. Okay?
280
00:13:59,385 --> 00:14:01,053
All right, here's the plan. I'll go down…
281
00:14:01,137 --> 00:14:02,220
What are you going to do, Jake?
282
00:14:02,304 --> 00:14:04,764
I'm obviously about to say.
Okay. I'll go down there.
283
00:14:04,848 --> 00:14:06,139
Sorry, Jake.
I thought it was a call and response.
284
00:14:06,223 --> 00:14:07,932
It's not. Okay… I'll go down.
285
00:14:08,016 --> 00:14:10,976
Are you mad at me? Dude!
Okay. Here's the plan.
286
00:14:11,060 --> 00:14:13,186
I'll go down to the gym and have
Terry take me through his workout.
287
00:14:13,270 --> 00:14:15,854
You guys get Savant from IT to
help you hack into his account.
288
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:18,439
If anything goes wrong,
Scully, fake a heart attack.
289
00:14:18,523 --> 00:14:21,154
What are you thinking, classic angina or,
290
00:14:21,238 --> 00:14:24,151
something sexier like
myocardial infarction?
291
00:14:24,235 --> 00:14:27,571
Just drop down onto
the ground and wiggle.
292
00:14:27,904 --> 00:14:28,989
I'm gonna nail this.
293
00:14:32,116 --> 00:14:33,699
You're back so soon.
Did you catch your guy?
294
00:14:33,783 --> 00:14:35,785
No. He was dead, so I'll never catch him.
295
00:14:35,869 --> 00:14:39,828
Also, Amy bought us tainted
meat and now I have diarrhea.
296
00:14:39,912 --> 00:14:41,038
Ooh.
297
00:14:41,706 --> 00:14:42,790
[DOOR SLAMS]
298
00:14:45,584 --> 00:14:51,004
Hey, Terry. You get my email
about how I was coming down here?
299
00:14:51,129 --> 00:14:52,545
No. I haven't checked my phone.
300
00:14:52,629 --> 00:14:55,923
Aw. No need. I just wanted to
make sure you were here, you know?
301
00:14:56,007 --> 00:14:57,424
You know how I like
to have a weight mate.
302
00:14:57,508 --> 00:15:00,385
Really? I have never seen you in the gym.
303
00:15:00,469 --> 00:15:04,263
What? I basically live here.
I'm a regular gym dandy.
304
00:15:04,846 --> 00:15:07,264
Besides, I gotta get into shape for
all the godfathering I'm gonna do.
305
00:15:07,348 --> 00:15:10,350
I mean, how am I gonna throw our baby
up into the air with these noodle arms?
306
00:15:10,434 --> 00:15:13,769
Good point. So take me through
your workout, man. Rip me up.
307
00:15:13,853 --> 00:15:17,062
You know, let's rip it out.
Time to rip it down.
308
00:15:17,146 --> 00:15:20,815
Those aren't gym terms. And I don't
think you could handle my workout.
309
00:15:20,899 --> 00:15:24,318
Oh, wow. Sounds like a challenge to me.
Come on.
310
00:15:24,443 --> 00:15:26,902
I gotcha. Ready?
311
00:15:26,986 --> 00:15:28,779
Yep. Oh, my God, they're so heavy!
312
00:15:29,530 --> 00:15:32,365
This will crack his password,
but it could take an hour.
313
00:15:32,449 --> 00:15:34,366
No way Jake keeps up
with Terry for that long.
314
00:15:34,450 --> 00:15:35,908
Have you seen Terry?
315
00:15:35,992 --> 00:15:38,827
Well, there's nothing we can do unless
you guys can guess the Sarge's password.
316
00:15:38,911 --> 00:15:40,703
"Big muscles"? Nope.
317
00:15:40,787 --> 00:15:43,664
That's your first guess? "Big Muscles"?
Try his wife's name, Sharon.
318
00:15:43,748 --> 00:15:44,832
Nope.
319
00:15:44,916 --> 00:15:45,957
Sharon1. Nope.
320
00:15:46,041 --> 00:15:47,125
Sharon2. Nope.
321
00:15:47,209 --> 00:15:48,250
Sharon3. Nope.
322
00:15:48,334 --> 00:15:49,376
This is stupid.
323
00:15:49,502 --> 00:15:51,503
Come on. Push it! Push it!
324
00:15:51,628 --> 00:15:53,129
[GRUNTS] Five!
325
00:15:55,380 --> 00:15:58,215
[SIGHS] Oh, man. This is almost too easy.
326
00:15:58,299 --> 00:16:01,426
Are you crying? No. That's eyeball sweat.
327
00:16:01,551 --> 00:16:04,469
All right, let's wrap this up.
I gotta call Sharon and get back to work.
328
00:16:04,553 --> 00:16:08,973
No, no, no, no. Hey, I thought you said
this was going to be a challenge, huh?
329
00:16:09,307 --> 00:16:12,726
It's been a cakewalk so far.
Oh, you want me to make this harder?
330
00:16:13,226 --> 00:16:17,061
Yes. That is what I want.
More harder exercise.
331
00:16:17,145 --> 00:16:21,148
Look, Sarge! I've burned 200 calories.
That's your heart rate.
332
00:16:21,232 --> 00:16:22,274
Yeah. That checks out.
333
00:16:22,358 --> 00:16:24,526
Come on, Jake. Ten more minutes!
334
00:16:26,193 --> 00:16:28,027
I think we should stop now, bro.
335
00:16:28,111 --> 00:16:30,779
No, no. I'm still good. Check this out.
336
00:16:30,863 --> 00:16:33,657
Right hook, right hook, uppercut.
337
00:16:35,741 --> 00:16:39,118
My arms don't seem to be responding
to my brain anymore. [LAUGHS]
338
00:16:39,202 --> 00:16:40,286
Nope.
339
00:16:40,370 --> 00:16:44,372
Ugh! God. I hate how hard it is to
guess other people's passwords.
340
00:16:44,580 --> 00:16:47,208
Wait. Everyone wait. Try "yogurt."
341
00:16:48,083 --> 00:16:49,334
[TYPING SOUNDS]
342
00:16:50,834 --> 00:16:51,877
We're in.
343
00:16:51,961 --> 00:16:53,794
ALL: Yeah!
344
00:16:53,878 --> 00:16:55,045
Terry loves yogurt.
345
00:16:55,129 --> 00:16:56,339
Come on, Jake. Let's go.
346
00:16:56,589 --> 00:16:59,591
So, how much blood do you usually
have in your mouth when you do this?
347
00:16:59,675 --> 00:17:00,716
None.
348
00:17:02,593 --> 00:17:06,178
Great. I'm done. Great workout, Sarge.
349
00:17:06,804 --> 00:17:07,888
[THUDS LOUDLY]
350
00:17:08,347 --> 00:17:11,891
Oh, Boyle, I need to throw away this
piece of paper and I can't move my body.
351
00:17:11,975 --> 00:17:14,309
On it, Jakey. It's showtime. Here we go.
352
00:17:14,393 --> 00:17:17,019
I love this.
We're like Batman and Alfred.
353
00:17:17,186 --> 00:17:18,436
You'd rather be Alfred than Robin?
354
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:20,062
He has access to the bat cave.
355
00:17:20,146 --> 00:17:23,315
Plus he gets to drive all of
Batman's girlfriends home and dish.
356
00:17:23,399 --> 00:17:24,732
PERALTA: Doy!
357
00:17:25,108 --> 00:17:27,526
Oh, hey. How are you, Mrs. Sarge?
358
00:17:27,610 --> 00:17:31,237
You look normal. Hi, Jake. Charles.
359
00:17:32,071 --> 00:17:35,471
Hold on, honey. I gotta check my
emails and then I'll be ready to go.
360
00:17:45,831 --> 00:17:46,872
Okay. All set.
361
00:17:47,623 --> 00:17:49,323
-All right, have fun.
-PERALTA: Yep.
362
00:17:49,417 --> 00:17:50,666
Sergeant Jeffords. Sharon.
363
00:17:50,750 --> 00:17:52,585
The Captain's back?
When did he get back? Turn me around.
364
00:17:52,669 --> 00:17:54,503
I'm not feeling well.
I have an appointment at the restroom,
365
00:17:54,587 --> 00:17:57,588
but I gather congratulations are in order.
For what?
366
00:17:57,672 --> 00:17:59,923
Oh, Peralta sent everyone
in the office an email
367
00:18:00,007 --> 00:18:01,257
about what to name your new baby.
368
00:18:01,341 --> 00:18:05,052
For what it's worth, I
really like the name Todd.
369
00:18:05,427 --> 00:18:07,178
Terrance, what is he talking about?
370
00:18:07,512 --> 00:18:09,805
Yeah, Peralta, what is he talking about?
371
00:18:12,390 --> 00:18:15,225
Hey… [SOFTLY] Scully! Now!
372
00:18:15,309 --> 00:18:16,434
Oh! Oh!
373
00:18:16,518 --> 00:18:19,019
PERALTA: Oh, no!
He's having a heart attack!
374
00:18:19,103 --> 00:18:22,147
This is a man's life,
you calloused bastards!
375
00:18:25,190 --> 00:18:28,067
Terry, I am so sorry.
376
00:18:28,151 --> 00:18:29,193
You should be sorry.
377
00:18:29,277 --> 00:18:30,360
Should I get out of here
378
00:18:30,444 --> 00:18:34,244
or should I just fade into the background
until you need me to wheel you out?
379
00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:35,615
I'll fade. I'll fade.
380
00:18:36,823 --> 00:18:38,241
You promised you wouldn't tell anyone.
381
00:18:38,325 --> 00:18:42,285
I know, but I can't help it if everyone
in this precinct is a brilliant detective.
382
00:18:42,369 --> 00:18:46,747
You emailed them all!
With your email! To their emails!
383
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,873
Okay, yes, that was one fact that
may have helped them crack the case.
384
00:18:49,957 --> 00:18:51,207
But Boyle was closing in!
385
00:18:51,834 --> 00:18:55,336
I was actually way off. All my
theories were bowling alley related.
386
00:18:55,753 --> 00:18:57,630
Fading. Fading again.
387
00:18:58,129 --> 00:19:00,673
Look, I know I messed up.
But it was an honest mistake.
388
00:19:00,757 --> 00:19:02,757
I promise you I was taking it seriously.
389
00:19:03,091 --> 00:19:04,967
What was the email
you sent everyone about?
390
00:19:05,051 --> 00:19:07,001
How you should name your kid Hurricane.
391
00:19:07,719 --> 00:19:09,012
Wheel him out, Charles.
392
00:19:09,304 --> 00:19:11,639
Wait.
Does this mean I can't be the godfather?
393
00:19:11,972 --> 00:19:13,349
I said wheel him out.
394
00:19:13,681 --> 00:19:16,351
You can be my godfather, Jake.
You're older than me!
395
00:19:18,935 --> 00:19:21,103
Captain, how are you feeling?
396
00:19:21,604 --> 00:19:25,022
Better today. I even managed to
eat some plain toast this morning.
397
00:19:25,106 --> 00:19:27,107
Smart. Something bland.
398
00:19:27,274 --> 00:19:28,650
That's my favorite breakfast.
399
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:30,276
Right.
400
00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:32,153
Sir, I'm sorry.
401
00:19:33,070 --> 00:19:36,530
I wanted to be a great
partner, a Martin Ormankupp,
402
00:19:36,739 --> 00:19:39,139
but instead, I was the
partner who made you sick.
403
00:19:39,282 --> 00:19:41,784
Can I tell you something
about Martin Ormankupp?
404
00:19:42,451 --> 00:19:43,785
On our second day as partners,
405
00:19:43,869 --> 00:19:46,579
Martin Ormankupp was kicked
in the crotch by a police horse.
406
00:19:46,663 --> 00:19:48,037
Not what I was expecting you to say.
407
00:19:48,121 --> 00:19:49,163
Of all the cases that we worked,
408
00:19:49,247 --> 00:19:51,540
that moment was the one
that bonded us the most,
409
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:53,125
because that's what we laughed about,
410
00:19:53,209 --> 00:19:55,752
after his surgery and months long rehab.
411
00:19:56,086 --> 00:19:58,712
It was a terrible ordeal for both
Martin and Heather Ormankupp.
412
00:19:58,796 --> 00:20:04,132
Mm. So, you think we can
laugh about me poisoning you?
413
00:20:04,299 --> 00:20:08,719
Yes. I do. Someday.
Perhaps over street meat.
414
00:20:09,303 --> 00:20:10,387
[LAUGHS]
415
00:20:10,512 --> 00:20:11,596
Sir, did you just laugh?
416
00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:12,762
Uproariously.
417
00:20:12,846 --> 00:20:16,849
Oh, my God. It's happening. Yep.
418
00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:20,893
Here, Sarge.
It's the rest of the money I owe you.
419
00:20:20,977 --> 00:20:22,269
1237 bucks.
420
00:20:22,353 --> 00:20:24,104
I thought you already
drained your bank account.
421
00:20:24,188 --> 00:20:26,939
I sold my car. It's not a big deal.
422
00:20:27,023 --> 00:20:30,401
Oh, my God!
This is such a huge deal! [SOBBING]
423
00:20:32,485 --> 00:20:35,194
I can't untell your secret. The best
I can do is make sure no one talks
424
00:20:35,278 --> 00:20:38,447
about it for the next four weeks
and pay back your money, so.
425
00:20:39,281 --> 00:20:40,324
Jake, hold up.
426
00:20:40,824 --> 00:20:41,866
Yeah?
427
00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:45,118
I was wondering if you still
wanted to be the godfather.
428
00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:46,537
Wait, seriously?
429
00:20:47,537 --> 00:20:50,747
Yes of course.
That would be amazing. Thank you.
430
00:20:51,623 --> 00:20:54,249
I'm gonna be such a good godfather!
You'll see. I'm gonna be like,
431
00:20:54,333 --> 00:20:56,293
"What's the matter with you? Be a man!"
432
00:20:56,751 --> 00:21:00,128
You know? You know, obviously,
I wouldn't scream that at the baby.
433
00:21:00,212 --> 00:21:02,880
That was a bad quote to choose,
but you get what I'm saying.
434
00:21:02,964 --> 00:21:06,591
Yeah. Look, that kid is gonna
have a lot of fun hanging out with you.
435
00:21:07,426 --> 00:21:11,386
But I also know that if anything happened
to me and Sharon, you're responsible
436
00:21:11,470 --> 00:21:13,096
enough to raise the little guy.
437
00:21:14,055 --> 00:21:18,349
Wait, that's what a godfather does?
I mean I knew that.
438
00:21:19,183 --> 00:21:20,225
I can handle it.
439
00:21:20,309 --> 00:21:23,728
Just real quick, what's a good book on
parenting that you could recommend?
440
00:21:23,812 --> 00:21:25,729
Or better yet, what's a
good movie on parenting?
441
00:21:25,813 --> 00:21:28,648
Terry?
Seriously, I have no idea what to do.
442
00:21:30,233 --> 00:21:31,316
Oh, wait.
443
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:32,651
Yahoo Answers.