1
00:00:02,644 --> 00:00:04,437
Good morning. Diaz. Peralta.
2
00:00:04,603 --> 00:00:07,981
Captain. You're smiling. It's very weird.
3
00:00:08,065 --> 00:00:09,857
Like seeing a turtle out of its shell.
4
00:00:09,941 --> 00:00:12,735
I'm happy.
Our drug task force was a success,
5
00:00:12,819 --> 00:00:15,029
and today, I get to watch my
nemesis, Madeline Wuntch,
6
00:00:15,113 --> 00:00:16,947
drape a medal around my neck.
7
00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:18,406
Also, we cleaned up the streets.
8
00:00:18,490 --> 00:00:19,908
Yeah, sure, that's good, too.
9
00:00:19,992 --> 00:00:22,993
So, I've been planning how to zing
Madeline when she puts the medal on.
10
00:00:23,077 --> 00:00:24,328
I have the perfect line.
11
00:00:24,412 --> 00:00:26,080
"Wuntch-time is over."
12
00:00:28,249 --> 00:00:30,208
It's a… It's a play on "lunch time."
13
00:00:30,333 --> 00:00:32,002
Yes. Devastating burn, sir.
14
00:00:32,127 --> 00:00:35,088
But you know what would really
show her is if you said nothing at all.
15
00:00:35,172 --> 00:00:36,463
Oh, interesting, interesting.
16
00:00:36,547 --> 00:00:38,048
Let…
Let Madeline know she's not even worth
17
00:00:38,132 --> 00:00:39,591
my staying up all night crafting zingers.
18
00:00:39,675 --> 00:00:41,051
"Wuntch-time" took you all night?
19
00:00:41,135 --> 00:00:43,386
Trust me. Turn the other cheek.
20
00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:46,639
Which I recently learned
is about faces and not butts,
21
00:00:46,723 --> 00:00:47,723
but works either way.
22
00:00:47,807 --> 00:00:50,892
Yes. I should be the bigger person.
23
00:00:50,976 --> 00:00:54,812
Right? Shouldn't be hard, given that
Madeline's not technically a person.
24
00:00:55,021 --> 00:00:59,233
For meritorious service,
the NYPD bestows this award
25
00:00:59,358 --> 00:01:03,987
on Detectives Rosa Diaz,
Jake Peralta, and Captain
26
00:01:04,696 --> 00:01:05,822
Raymond Holt.
27
00:01:06,072 --> 00:01:08,365
[APPLAUDING]
28
00:01:11,994 --> 00:01:13,621
Raymond. Madeline.
29
00:01:13,912 --> 00:01:16,956
You won. Go ahead and gloat, you toad.
30
00:01:18,249 --> 00:01:20,667
Thank you for this honor, Deputy Chief.
31
00:01:22,127 --> 00:01:24,713
Oh. Okay.
32
00:01:25,881 --> 00:01:27,173
You're welcome.
33
00:01:28,257 --> 00:01:30,134
Wuntch-time is over! Boom! Did it!
34
00:01:30,218 --> 00:01:31,928
[LAUGHS] Had it both ways!
35
00:01:32,094 --> 00:01:33,345
No regrets.
36
00:01:33,512 --> 00:01:35,514
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
37
00:01:55,072 --> 00:01:56,072
Listen up, gang.
38
00:01:56,156 --> 00:01:58,074
We have intel on a drop house
39
00:01:58,158 --> 00:02:00,409
used by Alexei Bisko,
40
00:02:00,535 --> 00:02:02,185
a captain in the Ukrainian mafia.
41
00:02:02,328 --> 00:02:05,278
Oh, he should be psyched.
That's a very up-and-coming mafia.
42
00:02:05,413 --> 00:02:06,706
His soldiers use the site
43
00:02:06,790 --> 00:02:08,291
to drop off money and pick up weapons.
44
00:02:08,375 --> 00:02:10,877
We need a couple of teams
to do long-term stakeouts.
45
00:02:10,961 --> 00:02:12,878
I'm out.
Four hours is the most I've ever spent
46
00:02:12,962 --> 00:02:13,962
alone with any human.
47
00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:15,505
It was the worst experience of my life.
48
00:02:15,589 --> 00:02:17,381
What about that time we
drove out to Boston together?
49
00:02:17,465 --> 00:02:19,217
That was about four hours.
50
00:02:20,218 --> 00:02:21,635
Oh, I see what just happened.
51
00:02:21,719 --> 00:02:22,887
The only decent vantage
52
00:02:22,971 --> 00:02:24,888
is this condemned
hotel across the street.
53
00:02:24,972 --> 00:02:26,514
We can go in as exterminators,
54
00:02:26,598 --> 00:02:28,698
but too much movement
will look suspicious.
55
00:02:28,851 --> 00:02:29,851
It's an eight day op,
56
00:02:29,935 --> 00:02:31,310
so two teams will do four days each.
57
00:02:31,394 --> 00:02:32,436
Boyle and I are in.
58
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,188
Okay, that's one team.
59
00:02:34,272 --> 00:02:35,606
Who wants to relieve them?
60
00:02:35,690 --> 00:02:36,731
If extraction is a risk,
61
00:02:36,815 --> 00:02:38,232
the two of us can do the full eight days.
62
00:02:38,316 --> 00:02:39,484
A Hanukkah miracle.
63
00:02:39,568 --> 00:02:41,027
No. That is too long to be
64
00:02:41,111 --> 00:02:42,862
holed up together like that.
65
00:02:42,946 --> 00:02:44,529
I did a six day stakeout once.
66
00:02:44,613 --> 00:02:46,073
Did not go well.
67
00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:47,741
Well, that's not going
to be a problem for us.
68
00:02:47,825 --> 00:02:49,117
The only time I ever yelled at Charles
69
00:02:49,201 --> 00:02:51,619
was cheering him on at
his roller-boogie competition.
70
00:02:51,703 --> 00:02:53,621
We never fight. It won't be a stakeout,
71
00:02:53,705 --> 00:02:55,122
it will be a stake-cation.
72
00:02:55,206 --> 00:02:57,791
♪ Stake me out tonight ♪
73
00:02:57,875 --> 00:03:01,669
♪ I don't want to let you go
till we catch this guy… ♪
74
00:03:01,753 --> 00:03:03,086
We already have a theme song.
75
00:03:03,170 --> 00:03:04,570
That concludes this meeting.
76
00:03:05,464 --> 00:03:07,132
Ooh. What's this?
77
00:03:07,216 --> 00:03:08,800
None of your business.
78
00:03:08,925 --> 00:03:13,638
"None of your business?"
The most enticing words a person can say.
79
00:03:13,722 --> 00:03:15,472
Terry, I will not leave your side
80
00:03:15,556 --> 00:03:17,641
until there are no secrets between us.
81
00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:19,100
Fine.
82
00:03:19,184 --> 00:03:21,435
I'm making my twins a
picture book for their birthday.
83
00:03:21,519 --> 00:03:24,355
It's called June Bug and
Cricket: Adventure Girls.
84
00:03:24,939 --> 00:03:26,982
Whoa, this one looks just like you, Gina.
85
00:03:27,066 --> 00:03:30,903
Yes. She is straight up gorgeous.
86
00:03:31,028 --> 00:03:32,111
And this one is definitely you.
87
00:03:32,195 --> 00:03:34,071
Look how masculine the clothes are.
88
00:03:34,155 --> 00:03:36,073
It's a suit of armor.
89
00:03:36,157 --> 00:03:37,533
Pant-suit of armor.
90
00:03:37,742 --> 00:03:40,077
The drawings look like
you two, but only because
91
00:03:40,161 --> 00:03:42,211
it's easier for me to
draw from real life.
92
00:03:42,412 --> 00:03:43,830
The whole squad's in here.
93
00:03:44,039 --> 00:03:45,957
The tiny squirrel is Charles.
94
00:03:46,082 --> 00:03:47,541
The walrus is Captain Holt.
95
00:03:47,791 --> 00:03:50,877
And the hippo with heads on both
ends, that's Hitchcock and Scully.
96
00:03:50,961 --> 00:03:52,003
How do they defecate?
97
00:03:52,087 --> 00:03:53,922
It's a kids' book, Santiago!
98
00:03:55,214 --> 00:03:58,092
This is why I didn't
want to show you people.
99
00:03:58,176 --> 00:03:59,593
Picking it apart.
100
00:04:10,186 --> 00:04:11,270
[SIGHS]
101
00:04:11,896 --> 00:04:14,355
Oh, my God.
Did you carry us up here like suitcases?
102
00:04:14,439 --> 00:04:16,190
No, man, this is real life.
103
00:04:16,274 --> 00:04:17,525
I rolled you in on the cart.
104
00:04:17,609 --> 00:04:20,402
Boo! Terry sucks! Terry sucks!
105
00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:22,070
Terry's great. Terry's great.
106
00:04:22,154 --> 00:04:23,363
Where do you want the food?
107
00:04:23,447 --> 00:04:26,949
And does braided herring and
jellied starfish count as food?
108
00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:30,035
Oh, indeed, it does.
I may be stuck in a tiny room,
109
00:04:30,119 --> 00:04:31,954
but my palate will travel the world.
110
00:04:32,079 --> 00:04:34,539
Listen up. This is a real small room.
111
00:04:34,623 --> 00:04:35,999
If you start getting on
each other's nerves,
112
00:04:36,083 --> 00:04:37,916
do what I do with my babies.
113
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,836
Go to separate corners.
We call it "alone zones."
114
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:43,255
All due respect, Sarge, but
we don't need "alone zones."
115
00:04:43,339 --> 00:04:44,922
No, we do not.
116
00:04:45,006 --> 00:04:47,133
But let me ask you a question.
117
00:04:47,217 --> 00:04:48,969
How do we feel about scone zones?
118
00:04:49,094 --> 00:04:50,194
I feel great about it.
119
00:04:50,387 --> 00:04:52,262
You do? Sarge?
120
00:04:52,346 --> 00:04:53,722
I'm a muffin guy.
121
00:04:53,806 --> 00:04:55,557
Boo! Boo!
122
00:04:57,767 --> 00:05:01,145
Great news, my friend.
We have a bathroom pet.
123
00:05:01,229 --> 00:05:05,023
His name is Horace and he's
either a small rat or a large cockroach.
124
00:05:05,107 --> 00:05:06,757
And he's either sleeping or dead.
125
00:05:07,442 --> 00:05:09,742
Here's the schedule.
Eight hours both on watch.
126
00:05:10,194 --> 00:05:11,361
Eight hours I sleep, you watch.
127
00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:12,946
Eight hours you sleep, I watch.
128
00:05:13,030 --> 00:05:16,366
I set an alarm.
I made the perfect ringtone, listen.
129
00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:18,550
BOYLE: ♪ Stake me out tonight ♪
130
00:05:18,660 --> 00:05:21,829
♪ I don't want to let you go
till we catch the guy… ♪
131
00:05:21,913 --> 00:05:26,124
I love it. All right, we've got
binocs, camera, night vision goggles,
132
00:05:26,208 --> 00:05:31,045
computer, and mini-basketball.
133
00:05:31,379 --> 00:05:33,631
Oh, my God, I love that.
134
00:05:33,756 --> 00:05:37,050
My whole problem with
basketball was big ball, tiny hands.
135
00:05:37,134 --> 00:05:38,635
Tiny ball, problem solved.
136
00:05:38,844 --> 00:05:41,304
Oop me. Ready, ooping. One, two, three.
137
00:05:42,513 --> 00:05:43,806
[GRUNTS]
138
00:05:44,181 --> 00:05:45,682
Did that look as cool as it felt?
139
00:05:45,766 --> 00:05:48,059
How cool did it feel? Mmm.
140
00:05:48,143 --> 00:05:49,943
Everyone, this is my nephew, Marcus.
141
00:05:50,103 --> 00:05:52,980
He's new in town. He's staying
with me until he finds a place.
142
00:05:53,064 --> 00:05:54,065
He is 31.
143
00:05:54,357 --> 00:05:55,733
You're a terrible hype-man.
144
00:05:56,025 --> 00:05:58,027
[LAUGHS] And you must be Gina.
145
00:05:58,235 --> 00:05:59,277
I heard a lot about everyone.
146
00:05:59,361 --> 00:06:01,862
I take it you're Amy.
147
00:06:01,946 --> 00:06:02,947
Rosa.
148
00:06:03,031 --> 00:06:04,031
Terry.
149
00:06:04,115 --> 00:06:05,992
I'm Jake. We're both Jake.
150
00:06:06,743 --> 00:06:07,909
Scully and Hitchcock.
151
00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:11,537
[CHUCKLES] Hey, well, I just came
to get the keys from my Uncle Ray.
152
00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:12,997
I'll let everybody get back to work.
153
00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,539
Nice meeting you. Pleasure.
154
00:06:14,623 --> 00:06:15,832
Bye.
155
00:06:15,916 --> 00:06:18,544
Holy Moses. "Bye"?
156
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:21,295
What? For you, that's
basically walking up to him
157
00:06:21,379 --> 00:06:23,255
and jamming your tongue down his throat.
158
00:06:23,339 --> 00:06:25,341
Shut up. Yes. Gina, that's enough.
159
00:06:25,467 --> 00:06:27,801
You're right, sorry. Too far.
160
00:06:29,428 --> 00:06:32,180
But let me just add
one little thing off topic.
161
00:06:32,264 --> 00:06:33,814
Rosa wants to bone your nephew.
162
00:06:40,312 --> 00:06:41,980
BOYLE [ON RINGTONE]:
♪ Stake me out tonight ♪
163
00:06:42,064 --> 00:06:45,442
♪ I don't want to let you go till we
catch the guy… ♪ [SINGING ALONG]
164
00:06:47,443 --> 00:06:50,738
Wow. That sleep apnea
mask is something else, huh?
165
00:06:50,946 --> 00:06:53,823
Oh.
I've got to say, ever since I got her…
166
00:06:54,157 --> 00:06:56,659
Her? She touches my lips, Jake.
She's a her.
167
00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:59,160
And since she took up
residence on my face,
168
00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:00,662
I sleep like a baby.
169
00:07:00,746 --> 00:07:04,832
Okay. Well, while you slept, there
was some action at the drop site.
170
00:07:04,916 --> 00:07:08,252
A blue sedan pulled up.
I got the plates and the driver's face.
171
00:07:08,336 --> 00:07:11,129
Also, this is the guy
who runs the drop house.
172
00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:13,673
I call him The Beach Umbrella,
because he looks so shady.
173
00:07:13,757 --> 00:07:15,008
Oh.
174
00:07:15,092 --> 00:07:16,259
[MUNCHING]
175
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:19,720
Hey, this is a kind of weird
request, but would you maybe mind
176
00:07:19,804 --> 00:07:22,014
chewing your Nortfluskers
with your mouth closed?
177
00:07:22,098 --> 00:07:24,599
I can't, and I'm excited to tell you why.
178
00:07:25,266 --> 00:07:26,642
I have a new eating method.
179
00:07:26,726 --> 00:07:29,979
I realized that open
mouths oxygenate the food,
180
00:07:30,063 --> 00:07:31,855
so it's kind of like wine tasting.
181
00:07:31,939 --> 00:07:34,232
Yeah, and I hear you, buddy. I really do.
182
00:07:34,316 --> 00:07:36,235
It's just, it's pretty gross.
183
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:41,071
So, maybe just while we're together,
you could keep the old chewer shut?
184
00:07:41,155 --> 00:07:44,950
Okay. But I don't complain
about how gross your meal is.
185
00:07:45,117 --> 00:07:47,118
What's gross about pancakes
with butter and maple syrup?
186
00:07:47,202 --> 00:07:49,120
You've completely
abandoned the pancake part.
187
00:07:49,204 --> 00:07:50,787
Now, you're just eating
butter with syrup on it.
188
00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:53,206
Yeah, I cut out the carbs.
This is me being healthy.
189
00:07:53,290 --> 00:07:55,958
Okay. Well, maybe we just eat
in separate corners of the room.
190
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:57,961
Great, I love that plan. Wait.
191
00:07:58,086 --> 00:07:59,546
That's "alone zones."
192
00:08:00,130 --> 00:08:01,964
We don't need "alone zones." We're fine.
193
00:08:02,048 --> 00:08:03,089
We're not fighting. We're great.
194
00:08:03,173 --> 00:08:06,051
Eat your butter-syrup. Yeah.
Keep that chew hole open.
195
00:08:08,594 --> 00:08:10,804
BOYLE [ON RINGTONE]:
♪ Stake me out tonight ♪
196
00:08:10,888 --> 00:08:12,973
♪ I don't want to let you go… ♪
197
00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:14,808
It's a shift. Love this song.
198
00:08:14,892 --> 00:08:17,342
I can't even remember
the original lyrics anymore.
199
00:08:17,727 --> 00:08:21,355
Mmm. Black SUV, female driver.
200
00:08:21,647 --> 00:08:23,065
She's wearing a lot of drab colors,
201
00:08:23,149 --> 00:08:24,799
so we'll call her "Mrs. Peacock."
202
00:08:25,401 --> 00:08:27,902
Male peacocks are the colorful dressers.
203
00:08:27,986 --> 00:08:30,404
God, how did humans get it so backwards?
204
00:08:30,488 --> 00:08:32,157
We may never know. Mmm-hmm.
205
00:08:32,866 --> 00:08:36,534
Hey, listen, about our
"alone zone" close call…
206
00:08:36,618 --> 00:08:37,994
Oh, that… That's not a big deal.
207
00:08:38,078 --> 00:08:39,370
We're not going to start fighting.
We never fight.
208
00:08:39,454 --> 00:08:42,122
Yeah. Totally. Yeah.
That's what I was thinking.
209
00:08:42,206 --> 00:08:45,250
But just to be safe, we could
write down some of each other's
210
00:08:45,334 --> 00:08:48,002
annoying behaviors that we
want to be off-limits. You know?
211
00:08:48,086 --> 00:08:49,879
We could call it "The no-no list."
212
00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:50,964
Oh, I love it!
213
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:55,884
Okay. So, here's what I've got for you.
214
00:08:55,968 --> 00:08:57,761
No eating with your mouth open.
We knew that.
215
00:08:57,845 --> 00:08:59,762
No Rasta-man voice.
216
00:08:59,846 --> 00:09:03,307
No reciting poetry, no
ballroom dancing, no bird calls,
217
00:09:03,391 --> 00:09:05,392
and no male Kegels.
218
00:09:05,476 --> 00:09:06,893
Can I do my Kegels secretly?
219
00:09:06,977 --> 00:09:09,177
Watch this, you'll never
know I'm doing them.
220
00:09:09,897 --> 00:09:11,689
I can definitely tell. [SIGHS]
221
00:09:11,773 --> 00:09:12,856
All right. Give me my no-no's.
222
00:09:12,940 --> 00:09:16,860
Okay. No butter-syrup.
No talking about Die Hard.
223
00:09:16,944 --> 00:09:18,529
Okay. I can do that.
224
00:09:18,613 --> 00:09:19,946
Or Die Hard 2 or Die Hard 3.
225
00:09:20,030 --> 00:09:22,824
What? Come on. So, you just
want me to talk about the fourth one?
226
00:09:22,908 --> 00:09:24,534
There's a fourth one? Charles.
227
00:09:24,618 --> 00:09:26,118
No judging me for not
knowing the Die Hards.
228
00:09:26,202 --> 00:09:27,852
All right, fine. What else? Okay.
229
00:09:28,287 --> 00:09:31,539
No eating mayonnaise straight
from the jar. No using my toothbrush.
230
00:09:31,623 --> 00:09:35,376
And that's it.
Jake, this no-no list is a slam dunk.
231
00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:37,045
Oop me. Ooping.
232
00:09:38,921 --> 00:09:40,005
[GRUNTS]
233
00:09:41,215 --> 00:09:42,915
I'm getting better. Yeah, you are.
234
00:09:43,759 --> 00:09:44,758
DIAZ: You wanted to see me, sir?
235
00:09:44,842 --> 00:09:46,969
Have a seat, Diaz.
236
00:09:47,178 --> 00:09:50,014
Do you remember my nephew, Marcus?
The 31 -year-old?
237
00:09:51,014 --> 00:09:52,807
He asked me to ask you if you are single.
238
00:09:52,891 --> 00:09:55,101
I told him I'm not a third grade girl
239
00:09:55,185 --> 00:09:56,937
with pigtails, passing love notes.
240
00:09:57,186 --> 00:09:58,562
Yeah. It's so immature.
241
00:09:58,646 --> 00:10:00,021
Precisely. It's embarrassing.
242
00:10:00,105 --> 00:10:01,106
Agreed.
243
00:10:02,066 --> 00:10:03,607
I am single.
244
00:10:03,691 --> 00:10:05,276
Oh. I see.
245
00:10:05,860 --> 00:10:08,947
But if Marcus wants my
number, he can ask me for it.
246
00:10:12,824 --> 00:10:15,869
But who will tell him that?
247
00:10:18,788 --> 00:10:21,415
Um, yeah. You took the last Danish.
248
00:10:21,749 --> 00:10:22,999
Oh, sorry.
249
00:10:23,375 --> 00:10:25,502
Did you read Terry's book about us?
250
00:10:25,627 --> 00:10:27,420
No, he said not to read it.
251
00:10:29,588 --> 00:10:33,091
Okay, fine, I read it.
My character, Cricket, is such a pushover.
252
00:10:33,175 --> 00:10:35,926
She just lets all the forest folk
take her Magic Moose wishes.
253
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:38,721
Well, June Bug is a stone-cold bitch.
254
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:42,849
She told all the baby
platy-pups they had weird feet.
255
00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:44,100
Is that how people see us?
256
00:10:44,184 --> 00:10:47,937
Well, you did just steal that Danish
out of my hand and start eating it.
257
00:10:48,021 --> 00:10:50,773
And I let you. And apologized.
258
00:10:50,898 --> 00:10:52,107
Classic Cricket move.
259
00:10:52,191 --> 00:10:54,609
Hey, can I just scooch
in there to the coffee?
260
00:10:55,944 --> 00:10:57,794
You can scooch your ass back in line.
261
00:10:59,072 --> 00:11:02,408
My coffee needs are
just as important as yours.
262
00:11:06,245 --> 00:11:07,244
What was that all about?
263
00:11:07,328 --> 00:11:10,290
Terry, I try not to judge
people, so I wouldn't know.
264
00:11:10,915 --> 00:11:14,334
Maybe I should go check on little
Amy and give her the greatest gift of all.
265
00:11:14,418 --> 00:11:15,502
A hug.
266
00:11:17,838 --> 00:11:21,841
Come on. Someone use the drop house.
267
00:11:22,717 --> 00:11:25,845
"The drop house."
Perfect name for a port-a-potty company.
268
00:11:26,012 --> 00:11:29,512
As soon as we get out of here, I
am taking that straight to Shark Tank.
269
00:11:29,597 --> 00:11:31,933
How great is this no-no list?
270
00:11:32,017 --> 00:11:34,977
I mean, we've made it
impossible to annoy each other.
271
00:11:35,561 --> 00:11:37,938
We're going to make-out
with this stakeout…
272
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:39,897
[CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY]
273
00:11:40,857 --> 00:11:42,900
Hey, bud, is rhyming on your no-no list?
274
00:11:43,401 --> 00:11:45,902
No. Cool, cool.
275
00:11:46,445 --> 00:11:49,781
Just seems pretty
close to reciting poetry.
276
00:11:49,948 --> 00:11:52,741
Yeah. But it's different.
Yeah, it's different.
277
00:11:52,825 --> 00:11:54,660
It's different.
278
00:11:56,704 --> 00:11:58,413
I'm just going to add it.
279
00:11:59,039 --> 00:12:00,989
Oh. So, uh… So, we can add things now?
280
00:12:01,958 --> 00:12:04,293
Yeah, why not, right? I mean, we've
got the time and we've got the ink.
281
00:12:04,377 --> 00:12:05,627
Everything but the kitchen sink.
282
00:12:05,711 --> 00:12:06,712
What did I just say?
283
00:12:06,837 --> 00:12:08,756
Okay. And that is under "Charles."
284
00:12:08,881 --> 00:12:10,048
Sure, sure, sure. Cool, cool, cool, cool.
285
00:12:10,132 --> 00:12:13,593
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool..
. Cool, cool, cool, cool…
286
00:12:14,469 --> 00:12:16,619
Back to the window.
Yep. Back to the window.
287
00:12:19,473 --> 00:12:20,723
What is happening?
288
00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:23,309
I've got to do this or the
bullet-holes in my butt stiffen up.
289
00:12:23,393 --> 00:12:25,043
No talking about your butt-holes.
290
00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:29,357
[GRUNTING] Two…
291
00:12:31,649 --> 00:12:33,234
Three… No pull-ups.
292
00:12:35,612 --> 00:12:36,613
No yoga.
293
00:12:37,571 --> 00:12:38,989
[BEAT-BOXING]
294
00:12:39,073 --> 00:12:40,657
No beat-boxing.
295
00:12:40,741 --> 00:12:43,993
No letting it mellow.
296
00:12:44,619 --> 00:12:46,913
No Sister Act.
297
00:12:47,330 --> 00:12:48,498
No life hacks.
298
00:12:48,664 --> 00:12:50,582
No multi-level marketing schemes.
299
00:12:50,707 --> 00:12:54,085
[SIGHS] No calling legitimate
business ideas "schemes."
300
00:12:54,169 --> 00:12:56,336
No licking fingers before turning pages.
301
00:12:56,420 --> 00:12:58,505
No impressions. No tea ceremonies.
302
00:12:58,589 --> 00:13:00,674
No cabbage patch. No hard core.
303
00:13:00,758 --> 00:13:02,341
No Running Man. Or the dance.
304
00:13:02,425 --> 00:13:05,428
No unrequested lullabies.
No lady-style towels.
305
00:13:05,762 --> 00:13:06,805
Aw.
306
00:13:15,895 --> 00:13:17,688
Hey. No nose hair trimming.
307
00:13:17,897 --> 00:13:19,398
We're here for eight days, Jake.
308
00:13:19,482 --> 00:13:21,032
I don't care. It's on the list.
309
00:13:21,358 --> 00:13:23,318
Well, I hope you like nostril bush.
310
00:13:23,402 --> 00:13:26,571
[SCOFFS] Nostril bush?
All right, no more talking.
311
00:13:26,655 --> 00:13:27,779
No more talking at all.
312
00:13:27,863 --> 00:13:29,531
Fine, I'm putting that on your list, too.
313
00:13:29,615 --> 00:13:31,492
That was talking. So was that.
314
00:13:31,784 --> 00:13:35,412
Okay, fine.
In three, two, one, no talking. Zip it.
315
00:13:35,578 --> 00:13:37,330
[MOUTHING]
316
00:13:41,458 --> 00:13:43,544
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
317
00:13:48,089 --> 00:13:49,298
Hey, Captain.
318
00:13:49,382 --> 00:13:50,549
How's the operation going?
319
00:13:50,633 --> 00:13:53,134
Great. The Beach Umbrella
has had non-stop visitors.
320
00:13:53,218 --> 00:13:54,427
The Beach Umbrella?
321
00:13:54,511 --> 00:13:56,763
Bisko's lieutenant
who runs the drop site.
322
00:13:56,847 --> 00:13:58,639
We came up with fun little
nicknames for everyone.
323
00:13:58,723 --> 00:14:00,474
I'm glad you're amusing yourselves.
324
00:14:00,558 --> 00:14:03,258
People thought you'd be at
each other's throats by now.
325
00:14:04,061 --> 00:14:05,936
-Do you need a relief team?
-[IN FALSETTO] What?
326
00:14:06,020 --> 00:14:08,898
-Nuh-uh-uh.
-[WHISPERING] No sassy nuh-uh-uhs.
327
00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:10,149
HOLT: What is that?
328
00:14:10,233 --> 00:14:12,442
Uh, nothing.
I just said we don't need a relief team.
329
00:14:12,526 --> 00:14:14,527
Everything's going great.
Right, Boyle? Right. So great.
330
00:14:14,611 --> 00:14:16,697
Good. See you in a couple of days.
331
00:14:16,864 --> 00:14:18,781
Okay, sounds good…
Okay, thanks. Bye, love you.
332
00:14:18,865 --> 00:14:20,116
What?
333
00:14:27,038 --> 00:14:28,122
Hold the door.
334
00:14:28,206 --> 00:14:30,375
Sorry, Sarge. Maybe if you did
more cardio and less weights,
335
00:14:30,459 --> 00:14:31,500
you'd move faster.
336
00:14:31,584 --> 00:14:33,168
No, no, no, Amy. We need to be the change
337
00:14:33,252 --> 00:14:34,711
we want to see in the elevator.
338
00:14:34,795 --> 00:14:35,837
Uh-uh. Door open.
339
00:14:35,921 --> 00:14:37,255
No, door closed. Door open.
340
00:14:37,339 --> 00:14:38,506
Closed! Door open.
341
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:40,341
What is going on with you two?
342
00:14:40,508 --> 00:14:42,551
What's going on with you? Love.
343
00:14:42,635 --> 00:14:45,485
That's it.
Time for an emergency stop-and-talk.
344
00:14:45,569 --> 00:14:46,596
[ALARM BUZZES]
345
00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:49,182
Okay, fine.
You want to know what's going on?
346
00:14:49,266 --> 00:14:52,685
We read your book.
And you should know, I'm not a push-over.
347
00:14:53,227 --> 00:14:55,396
And I'm not a stone-cold bitch.
348
00:14:55,521 --> 00:14:57,647
I'm a natural, beautiful presence.
349
00:14:58,106 --> 00:15:01,442
Okay.
I'm sorry these characters look like you,
350
00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:04,361
but that's where the resemblance stops.
351
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:07,489
Sure, June Bug is a
meanie to the platy-pups,
352
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:09,949
but she's a sweetheart to the socktopus.
353
00:15:10,325 --> 00:15:13,953
And Cricket is a pushover when
it comes to Magic Moose wishes,
354
00:15:14,037 --> 00:15:16,330
but she's very brave in the dolphin wars.
355
00:15:17,789 --> 00:15:22,002
I guess what I'm saying is,
these stories are nonsense.
356
00:15:22,752 --> 00:15:26,463
I love you guys. But if you're
bringing something more to my book,
357
00:15:26,547 --> 00:15:27,631
that's on you.
358
00:15:27,715 --> 00:15:29,049
[ELEVATOR STARTS]
359
00:15:30,509 --> 00:15:32,009
If you hadn't stopped the elevator,
360
00:15:32,093 --> 00:15:34,638
you could have walked
off after your great speech.
361
00:15:35,346 --> 00:15:37,515
Now, we all got to sit in it.
362
00:15:39,058 --> 00:15:40,559
HOLT: Marcus. Are you leaving?
363
00:15:40,643 --> 00:15:42,093
Come, have breakfast with us.
364
00:15:42,185 --> 00:15:44,729
You're up early. [SOFTLY] Okay.
365
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:51,484
And Detective Diaz is here, as well.
366
00:15:51,568 --> 00:15:53,153
Hey.
367
00:15:53,904 --> 00:15:56,239
Hello, Kevin. Rosa. Marcus.
368
00:15:56,531 --> 00:15:59,533
Kevin. Uncle Ray. Marcus. And Cheddar.
369
00:15:59,617 --> 00:16:01,200
Cheddar is also here.
370
00:16:01,284 --> 00:16:02,784
Uh, would you care to join us?
371
00:16:02,869 --> 00:16:05,080
Sure. Shall we sit?
372
00:16:06,164 --> 00:16:07,623
I don't think sit…
373
00:16:07,957 --> 00:16:10,209
Good, then, feel no
obligation to stay, Rosa.
374
00:16:11,001 --> 00:16:12,419
Detective Diaz.
375
00:16:12,670 --> 00:16:15,463
Detective Rosa Diaz
is in my breakfast nook.
376
00:16:15,547 --> 00:16:17,256
So, who would like French toast?
377
00:16:17,340 --> 00:16:18,840
I can put a bacon smile on it.
378
00:16:19,384 --> 00:16:21,534
My being here is weird.
This was a bad idea.
379
00:16:21,677 --> 00:16:23,377
We shouldn't see each other again.
380
00:16:24,805 --> 00:16:26,014
[DOOR CLOSES]
381
00:16:26,098 --> 00:16:29,850
Well, Detective Rosa Diaz has left. Hmm.
382
00:16:32,770 --> 00:16:36,170
[GROANS] The only food left in
the whole room is your stupid herring.
383
00:16:36,523 --> 00:16:37,940
Oh, so we're talking now?
384
00:16:38,024 --> 00:16:41,067
Well, I guess so, since words came
out of my mouth and you heard them.
385
00:16:41,151 --> 00:16:43,403
That's glib. No being glib.
It's on the list.
386
00:16:43,487 --> 00:16:45,030
I'm so sick of the list.
387
00:16:45,197 --> 00:16:46,614
I don't even know what "glib" means.
388
00:16:46,698 --> 00:16:49,617
Ask yourself this. Is it something
you can hear Garfield saying?
389
00:16:49,701 --> 00:16:51,327
If so, it's glib.
390
00:16:51,619 --> 00:16:54,579
So, what, you want me to just
be Garfield's owner, Jon Arbuckle?
391
00:16:54,663 --> 00:16:55,914
Think about what you're saying.
392
00:16:55,998 --> 00:16:57,540
He's spineless and bland.
393
00:16:57,624 --> 00:17:00,459
And by the way, me keeping
things light and being Garfieldian
394
00:17:00,543 --> 00:17:02,127
is the only reason we don't fight.
395
00:17:02,211 --> 00:17:03,629
[LAUGHS]
396
00:17:03,713 --> 00:17:07,548
Wrong, baby. The only reason we don't
fight is because I never say anything
397
00:17:07,632 --> 00:17:10,343
when you annoy me,
which is constantly, baby.
398
00:17:10,427 --> 00:17:13,345
I just let it roll off.
I'm a duck's back, baby!
399
00:17:13,429 --> 00:17:14,721
Stop saying "baby."
400
00:17:14,805 --> 00:17:17,598
Charles Boyle calls people
"baby" when he gets angry.
401
00:17:17,682 --> 00:17:20,476
That's who I am.
And all of this is who I am.
402
00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:23,604
And if you don't like this stuff,
then we shouldn't be friends.
403
00:17:23,688 --> 00:17:25,888
Great, because guess what?
We're not friends.
404
00:17:26,732 --> 00:17:28,775
That's fine with me, baby. [GROANS]
405
00:17:36,407 --> 00:17:37,657
Uh-oh.
406
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:41,494
[BOTH SIGHING]
407
00:17:41,578 --> 00:17:43,662
Well, the operation is blown.
408
00:17:44,455 --> 00:17:46,373
BOYLE: [ON RINGTONE]
♪ Stake me out tonight… ♪
409
00:17:46,457 --> 00:17:48,291
I hate this song.
410
00:17:48,375 --> 00:17:49,459
I stand by it.
411
00:17:53,004 --> 00:17:55,089
Well, I'm going to
check this stuff back in.
412
00:17:55,173 --> 00:17:56,339
Great, do it.
413
00:17:56,423 --> 00:17:58,716
Okay. Then, we're done.
414
00:17:58,800 --> 00:17:59,950
Yeah. Then, we're done.
415
00:18:00,927 --> 00:18:05,264
Well, well, well.
Looks like Boyle's out and Hitchcock's in.
416
00:18:06,140 --> 00:18:07,307
What do you want to do tonight?
417
00:18:07,391 --> 00:18:09,643
Go to a strip club?
Have dinner with my wife?
418
00:18:09,976 --> 00:18:12,603
Are those separate options or
does she live at the strip club?
419
00:18:12,687 --> 00:18:14,937
You want to know, you've got to go.
All right.
420
00:18:16,023 --> 00:18:19,818
Peralta. Thanks to your basketball
mishap, the drop site has been abandoned,
421
00:18:19,902 --> 00:18:21,702
and Alexei Bisko has gone to ground.
422
00:18:21,819 --> 00:18:23,988
We told you eight days
was too long for a stakeout.
423
00:18:24,072 --> 00:18:26,240
With all due respect, sir, it
wasn't the amount of time.
424
00:18:26,324 --> 00:18:27,824
It's who I was stuck there with.
425
00:18:27,908 --> 00:18:29,409
I could easily have done it with Scully.
426
00:18:29,493 --> 00:18:32,496
Really? You would have
applied that cream to his back?
427
00:18:32,621 --> 00:18:34,997
No, I would have put it on the
floor and let him roll around in it.
428
00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:36,290
This isn't my first rodeo.
429
00:18:36,374 --> 00:18:37,749
You need to find Bisko.
430
00:18:37,833 --> 00:18:40,252
You can start by doing door duty,
see if anyone knows where he is.
431
00:18:40,336 --> 00:18:41,377
Take Boyle.
432
00:18:41,461 --> 00:18:44,673
Sir, I'd like to request a new partner.
433
00:18:44,839 --> 00:18:46,881
I can't work with Charles.
We're not friends anymore.
434
00:18:46,965 --> 00:18:48,965
Friends? I don't care if you're friends.
435
00:18:49,051 --> 00:18:51,219
This is not a play-date.
This is your commanding officer
436
00:18:51,303 --> 00:18:52,971
ordering you to do your job.
437
00:18:53,055 --> 00:18:55,931
Fine. But I hope you can live with
the fact that you're forcing people
438
00:18:56,015 --> 00:18:58,165
to spend time together
who would rather not.
439
00:18:58,893 --> 00:19:00,227
I'm fine with that.
440
00:19:02,729 --> 00:19:04,897
Sarge, I need to talk to
you about the kids' book.
441
00:19:04,981 --> 00:19:06,773
Seriously? I'm wrapping it right now,
442
00:19:06,857 --> 00:19:07,858
and I need to focus.
443
00:19:07,942 --> 00:19:11,820
Look, I know the story is
nonsense and I'm not a forest nymph
444
00:19:11,904 --> 00:19:13,488
who wears armor pantsuits.
445
00:19:14,030 --> 00:19:18,493
But I think it bothered me because
sometimes I can be too much of a pushover.
446
00:19:19,284 --> 00:19:22,234
To be honest, it felt nice to
stand up for myself this week.
447
00:19:22,538 --> 00:19:23,831
Good for you, Santiago.
448
00:19:23,956 --> 00:19:27,124
I also learned a valuable
lesson from your stupid book.
449
00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:30,258
I learned I'm perfect the way I
am, and I should never change.
450
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:34,214
This is a symbolic gesture.
451
00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:37,884
I'm speaking to you as
a friend, not a captain.
452
00:19:38,008 --> 00:19:43,973
And as your friend, I have this
brassiere you left behind in Marcus' room.
453
00:19:49,811 --> 00:19:51,936
Also, I just wanted you to know,
454
00:19:52,020 --> 00:19:54,773
um… I… I think Marcus is great and, uh…
455
00:19:54,857 --> 00:19:56,275
And you're great.
456
00:19:57,150 --> 00:20:02,237
And I hope the fact that you and I work
together won't prevent you from dating.
457
00:20:02,321 --> 00:20:05,323
If that's what you want to do.
458
00:20:05,824 --> 00:20:08,827
I might.
But I don't want to talk to you about it.
459
00:20:09,161 --> 00:20:13,164
Perfect. Because I'm not
comfortable knowing about it.
460
00:20:13,914 --> 00:20:16,583
Great. Then let's never talk about it.
461
00:20:16,958 --> 00:20:18,858
Let's never talk about anything. Done.
462
00:20:19,794 --> 00:20:21,253
This is Bisko's aunt's apartment.
463
00:20:21,337 --> 00:20:22,796
Maybe she's seen something.
464
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:24,506
Let's just get this over with.
465
00:20:29,844 --> 00:20:31,970
-Yes?
-PERALTA: It's Bisko. Fire escape.
466
00:20:32,054 --> 00:20:33,504
I'll cut him off at the back.
467
00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:36,224
[GRUNTS]
468
00:20:36,933 --> 00:20:38,185
Freeze! NYPD!
469
00:20:45,983 --> 00:20:47,401
[GRUNTS]
470
00:20:48,860 --> 00:20:50,111
Hey!
471
00:20:56,909 --> 00:20:59,578
Alexei Bisko, you're under arrest.
472
00:21:02,371 --> 00:21:03,956
You okay? Yeah.
473
00:21:04,749 --> 00:21:06,208
Thanks for having my back.
474
00:21:06,292 --> 00:21:07,625
You don't have to thank me.
475
00:21:07,709 --> 00:21:09,009
I've always got your back.
476
00:21:09,836 --> 00:21:11,713
Look, this whole thing
has been so stupid.
477
00:21:11,797 --> 00:21:14,006
Right? Are we friends again?
478
00:21:14,298 --> 00:21:15,508
No.
479
00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:18,427
We're brothers.
480
00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:20,911
God, that was terrifying!
Don't pause like that!
481
00:21:21,179 --> 00:21:23,472
Look, brothers fight,
but at the end of the day,
482
00:21:23,556 --> 00:21:25,349
they're always there for each other.
483
00:21:25,433 --> 00:21:27,183
My brother had sex with my wife
484
00:21:27,267 --> 00:21:29,602
and then he ran to the Florida Keys.
485
00:21:29,686 --> 00:21:31,438
One day, I'll finish him.
486
00:21:31,814 --> 00:21:33,147
Just be arrested, man.
487
00:21:33,231 --> 00:21:34,981
We're trying to have a moment here.