1
00:00:03,188 --> 00:00:05,023
Ugh! Motorcade duty.
2
00:00:05,107 --> 00:00:06,691
So boring.
3
00:00:06,775 --> 00:00:08,693
I honestly would rather sit
around and listen to you talk
4
00:00:08,777 --> 00:00:10,152
about the right way to make paella.
5
00:00:10,236 --> 00:00:12,196
There's more than one right
way to make paella, Jake.
6
00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:15,491
There are 10 right ways.
You've got classic Valencian, modern…
7
00:00:15,575 --> 00:00:17,326
No, wait. Stop. I changed my mind.
8
00:00:17,410 --> 00:00:18,860
I've made a horrible mistake.
9
00:00:19,495 --> 00:00:20,663
Hey, Rosa.
10
00:00:20,830 --> 00:00:22,039
Just who I was looking for.
11
00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:23,999
Quick question. Can I have
your friend Katie's phone number?
12
00:00:24,083 --> 00:00:25,084
I want to ask her out.
13
00:00:25,168 --> 00:00:27,253
No.
I don't mix personal and professional.
14
00:00:27,337 --> 00:00:28,711
You're never getting her number.
15
00:00:28,795 --> 00:00:31,214
Never, like, "We're never going
to have a black president" never?
16
00:00:31,298 --> 00:00:32,298
Because that happened.
17
00:00:32,382 --> 00:00:33,467
A real never.
18
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:35,552
Like if you ever ask me about this again,
19
00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:38,179
you're never going to be
able to eat without a straw.
20
00:00:38,263 --> 00:00:42,934
Okay. Well, you are on the
wrong side of history, my friend.
21
00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:44,144
Katie, huh?
22
00:00:44,770 --> 00:00:47,354
Wow, I can't believe you're
not still pining for Amy.
23
00:00:47,438 --> 00:00:49,482
I mean, I pine for years.
24
00:00:49,899 --> 00:00:52,651
I still think about Mia, the
nurse that helped my Nana pass.
25
00:00:52,735 --> 00:00:54,695
Yes, I know.
You've told me, like, 100 times
26
00:00:54,779 --> 00:00:55,988
about the time your Nana collapsed
27
00:00:56,072 --> 00:00:57,906
and accidentally pulled Mia's pants down.
28
00:00:57,990 --> 00:00:59,241
Best day of my life.
29
00:00:59,325 --> 00:01:01,494
I don't have feelings for Amy anymore.
So…
30
00:01:02,244 --> 00:01:04,454
Time for me to get out
there and spread my wings.
31
00:01:04,538 --> 00:01:05,539
Legs.
32
00:01:05,623 --> 00:01:07,332
Get out there and spread my legs?
33
00:01:07,457 --> 00:01:08,874
Well, either way.
34
00:01:08,958 --> 00:01:11,211
No. Not either way. Only wings.
35
00:01:11,586 --> 00:01:13,588
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
36
00:01:32,356 --> 00:01:33,356
HOLT: Listen up.
37
00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:34,441
There's been an issue with the motorcade.
38
00:01:34,525 --> 00:01:36,276
The Serbian President
is delayed in Washington,
39
00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:39,237
and we can't start locking down
intersections until he takes off.
40
00:01:39,321 --> 00:01:41,406
Apparently, he's on an important call
41
00:01:41,490 --> 00:01:42,616
with the Albanian President.
42
00:01:42,700 --> 00:01:44,199
Is that Bu jar Nishani,
43
00:01:44,283 --> 00:01:45,618
or is it still Bamir Topi?
44
00:01:45,868 --> 00:01:47,036
Oh, Ames, let me check.
45
00:01:47,787 --> 00:01:50,039
Mmm. It just says no one likes you.
46
00:01:50,123 --> 00:01:51,923
There's a three-hour delay, minimum.
47
00:01:52,166 --> 00:01:54,043
Captain Holt and I will
have to leave for a meeting
48
00:01:54,127 --> 00:01:55,377
at One Police Plaza.
49
00:01:55,461 --> 00:01:57,171
You should all stay prepped and ready.
50
00:01:57,255 --> 00:01:58,256
Dismissed.
51
00:02:00,967 --> 00:02:02,343
Guys. Guys, guys, guys.
52
00:02:02,427 --> 00:02:04,135
Three-hour delay with no Holt or Terry?
53
00:02:04,219 --> 00:02:05,386
Do you have any idea what this means?
54
00:02:05,470 --> 00:02:06,930
Makeovers? No, Charles.
55
00:02:07,472 --> 00:02:08,806
The Jimmy Jab Games!
56
00:02:08,890 --> 00:02:09,891
[CHEERING]
57
00:02:09,975 --> 00:02:13,019
The first Jimmy Jabs were held in 2008,
58
00:02:13,103 --> 00:02:14,228
when the king of Iraq…
59
00:02:14,312 --> 00:02:15,355
President of Iran.
60
00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:16,481
…Armen Jimmy Jab.
61
00:02:16,565 --> 00:02:17,565
Ahmadinejad.
62
00:02:17,649 --> 00:02:18,983
…came to New York and we were on call
63
00:02:19,067 --> 00:02:20,318
for nine glorious hours
64
00:02:20,402 --> 00:02:21,485
in case there were protests.
65
00:02:21,569 --> 00:02:24,655
On that day, a young
genius named Jake Peralta,
66
00:02:24,739 --> 00:02:26,615
used the last piece of his bagel
67
00:02:27,116 --> 00:02:28,916
to create the first Jimmy Jab event.
68
00:02:29,285 --> 00:02:31,078
The Monster Mouth Bagel Toss.
69
00:02:33,956 --> 00:02:34,957
[GASPS]
70
00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:36,541
And the rest was history.
71
00:02:36,625 --> 00:02:37,876
As soon as Holt and Terry leave,
72
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:41,087
we will commence with Jimmy Jabs Seven,
73
00:02:41,171 --> 00:02:42,881
Circus of Fools.
74
00:02:43,256 --> 00:02:48,803
ALL [CHANTING SOFTLY]:
Jimmy Jabs. Jimmy Jabs.
75
00:02:48,887 --> 00:02:52,098
[LOUDER] Jimmy Jabs.
Jimmy Jabs. Jimmy Jabs.
76
00:02:53,224 --> 00:02:54,475
Seems like we're ready for our meeting
77
00:02:54,559 --> 00:02:55,768
with Deputy Chief Wuntch.
78
00:02:55,852 --> 00:02:57,452
Is that how you plan on sitting?
79
00:02:58,021 --> 00:02:59,896
Leaning back like a matinee-goer?
80
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:01,380
Madeline will eat you alive.
81
00:03:02,733 --> 00:03:03,775
That's no better.
82
00:03:03,859 --> 00:03:05,318
Hands folded on your lap like a pervert?
83
00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:07,446
Sir, what are you so nervous about?
84
00:03:07,780 --> 00:03:08,947
There's a new drug in the precinct
85
00:03:09,031 --> 00:03:11,283
and we need updated narcotics field kits.
86
00:03:11,658 --> 00:03:13,326
All we're asking for is $1,200.
87
00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:14,828
How can she say no to that?
88
00:03:14,912 --> 00:03:16,162
Sergeant, as long as I'm asking for it,
89
00:03:16,246 --> 00:03:18,623
Madeline Wuntch can say no to anything.
90
00:03:19,624 --> 00:03:20,750
[SNEEZES]
91
00:03:21,083 --> 00:03:22,084
May I?
92
00:03:22,168 --> 00:03:23,502
Those are my tissues, Raymond.
93
00:03:23,586 --> 00:03:24,712
If you were planning on sneezing,
94
00:03:24,796 --> 00:03:26,446
you should have brought your own.
95
00:03:27,465 --> 00:03:29,466
Sir, she's a Deputy Chief.
96
00:03:29,550 --> 00:03:31,844
I'm sure she wants what's
best for the community.
97
00:03:31,928 --> 00:03:33,762
She doesn't care about the community.
98
00:03:33,846 --> 00:03:36,015
She only cares about defeating me.
99
00:03:36,432 --> 00:03:39,768
This is war, Sergeant. The War on Wuntch.
100
00:03:39,893 --> 00:03:41,603
Oh, good, you've named it.
101
00:03:42,729 --> 00:03:44,689
So. Jimmy Jabs, huh?
102
00:03:44,773 --> 00:03:46,816
What do you say we
make it interesting this year?
103
00:03:46,900 --> 00:03:48,860
Aha! We could play for Katie's number.
104
00:03:49,194 --> 00:03:51,696
No.
Is this why you wanted to do Jimmy Jabs?
105
00:03:51,780 --> 00:03:53,657
No. Yes. Why? What gave it away?
106
00:03:53,907 --> 00:03:55,408
You said "Aha" and snapped your fingers.
107
00:03:55,492 --> 00:03:56,616
-Ah.
-SANTIAGO: Ooh.
108
00:03:56,700 --> 00:03:58,410
You want to go out with,
uh, Rosa's friend, Katie?
109
00:03:58,494 --> 00:03:59,953
That's great. She's cool.
110
00:04:00,037 --> 00:04:03,665
I know. But Rosa has this dumb rule
about not mixing work with personal stuff.
111
00:04:03,749 --> 00:04:05,333
That's actually not a bad policy.
112
00:04:05,417 --> 00:04:07,169
I once gave my aunt a jaywalking ticket
113
00:04:07,253 --> 00:04:09,421
and things really
deteriorated between us.
114
00:04:09,505 --> 00:04:10,505
Mmm.
115
00:04:10,589 --> 00:04:12,841
But Jake and Katie would
be awesome together.
116
00:04:12,925 --> 00:04:17,762
I know, right? She's single, I'm single.
She's pretty, I'm pretty.
117
00:04:17,846 --> 00:04:20,347
So, it's settled. If I win the Jimmy
Jabs, you give me her number.
118
00:04:20,431 --> 00:04:22,099
And if I lose, you don't
have to give it to me.
119
00:04:22,183 --> 00:04:23,392
I already don't have to give it to you.
120
00:04:23,476 --> 00:04:24,602
All right, I'll give you $200,
121
00:04:24,686 --> 00:04:26,145
and I'll never ask you for
another phone number again.
122
00:04:26,229 --> 00:04:27,230
Done.
123
00:04:28,857 --> 00:04:29,940
Hello, Gina.
124
00:04:30,024 --> 00:04:31,859
It's daylight, Boyle. Why are we talking?
125
00:04:31,943 --> 00:04:33,443
This is an emergency.
126
00:04:33,527 --> 00:04:36,654
I've been filming my fitness
routine with the precinct camera
127
00:04:36,738 --> 00:04:37,947
to help improve my form.
128
00:04:38,031 --> 00:04:39,881
That's where I got these tree trunks.
129
00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:43,704
But I realized that I left the tape
in the camera and now it's gone.
130
00:04:44,037 --> 00:04:46,498
Who cares? Who cares? Who cares?
131
00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:49,001
You probably will.
132
00:04:50,127 --> 00:04:51,128
[GRUNTS]
133
00:04:53,713 --> 00:04:58,259
Oh. Boyle, I love that you're
trying to step up your sex game.
134
00:04:58,718 --> 00:05:00,678
But strength is not your issue.
135
00:05:00,970 --> 00:05:03,555
Stop humming. And it does not turn me on
136
00:05:03,639 --> 00:05:06,183
when you bend over and back up into me.
137
00:05:06,642 --> 00:05:08,310
Did someone check out
the camera this morning?
138
00:05:08,394 --> 00:05:11,396
Yes. Hitchcock.
And if he sees it, he will tell everyone.
139
00:05:11,730 --> 00:05:12,980
You need to get that damn tape.
140
00:05:13,064 --> 00:05:14,149
Okay.
141
00:05:14,566 --> 00:05:15,566
We're off.
142
00:05:15,650 --> 00:05:17,944
You'll get word when the
Serbian President is wheels up.
143
00:05:18,028 --> 00:05:20,822
You got it, Sarge.
We'll just be here until you get back,
144
00:05:20,906 --> 00:05:22,556
calmly and respectfully prepping.
145
00:05:23,241 --> 00:05:25,452
All right, they're gone.
Ceremonial bagel.
146
00:05:25,785 --> 00:05:26,995
Flask.
147
00:05:29,205 --> 00:05:30,205
Flame.
148
00:05:30,748 --> 00:05:34,710
♪ Jimmy Jabs ♪
149
00:05:35,252 --> 00:05:40,591
♪ Jimmy Jabs ♪
150
00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:43,718
Let the games begin.
151
00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:45,512
[ALL CHEERING]
152
00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:53,018
[IMITATES FANFARE PLAYING]
153
00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:55,104
Welcome to the Jimmy Jabs.
154
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,481
We play for pride.
155
00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:59,164
We play for the phone
numbers of Rosa's friends.
156
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:02,528
But most importantly, we
play to watch Amy lose.
157
00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,280
Nope. This is my year.
158
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,615
It's my year, too.
Please don't align yourself with me.
159
00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:09,449
Why not? Neither of you have
ever come close to winning.
160
00:06:09,701 --> 00:06:11,161
You're exactly the same.
161
00:06:11,411 --> 00:06:13,830
Just a couple of Santiagos.
162
00:06:14,122 --> 00:06:15,206
[GINA GIGGLING]
163
00:06:15,290 --> 00:06:16,833
But the real prize is…
164
00:06:17,209 --> 00:06:18,835
The Winchester 3,000.
165
00:06:19,127 --> 00:06:22,005
The only chair in the
precinct with minimal staining,
166
00:06:22,089 --> 00:06:25,300
good lumbar support,
and no broken rolly-wheels.
167
00:06:25,425 --> 00:06:26,426
Over to you, Gina.
168
00:06:26,510 --> 00:06:28,468
Thank you, Jake. Okay, guys.
169
00:06:28,552 --> 00:06:32,890
As usual, the loser of each
event is eliminated from the games.
170
00:06:33,349 --> 00:06:35,977
The winner gets a
bonus in the final round.
171
00:06:36,310 --> 00:06:37,520
Our first event is…
172
00:06:38,813 --> 00:06:40,231
The Mouthathon.
173
00:06:40,606 --> 00:06:43,651
In front of you is month-old
Chinese food from the fridge.
174
00:06:44,068 --> 00:06:46,820
Go ahead and eat as
much as you can stomach.
175
00:06:47,237 --> 00:06:50,740
On your Mark, get set, Wahlberg.
176
00:06:53,827 --> 00:06:54,953
Ugh.
177
00:06:55,286 --> 00:06:58,331
I can't do this to my mouth.
She is the love of my life.
178
00:06:58,415 --> 00:07:00,041
Charles is eliminated.
179
00:07:00,125 --> 00:07:02,877
Off. I think this ball of soup is off.
I'm out.
180
00:07:02,961 --> 00:07:06,046
I can do this. I want to win so bad.
181
00:07:06,130 --> 00:07:09,549
Oh, great. Here, quick.
Let me take a picture. Oh, that's so cute.
182
00:07:09,633 --> 00:07:11,843
You've got a little bit of
mold on the tip of your nose.
183
00:07:11,927 --> 00:07:12,928
[SPITS]
184
00:07:13,178 --> 00:07:15,723
I tried. I tried, but he's unbeatable.
185
00:07:18,976 --> 00:07:20,686
You guys know this is free, right?
186
00:07:22,813 --> 00:07:24,564
Hello, Deputy Chief Wuntch.
187
00:07:24,814 --> 00:07:25,815
You've aged.
188
00:07:25,982 --> 00:07:27,149
Stay seated.
189
00:07:27,233 --> 00:07:30,883
We can do this out here, since you've
already made yourselves comfortable.
190
00:07:30,987 --> 00:07:33,287
Sergeant Jeffords, why
don't you just lie down?
191
00:07:33,823 --> 00:07:35,700
I can't sit any straighter than this.
192
00:07:36,325 --> 00:07:38,953
We're here about a new and
very potent form of ecstasy,
193
00:07:39,037 --> 00:07:40,787
which has surfaced in our precinct.
194
00:07:40,997 --> 00:07:43,289
Street name, giggle pig.
195
00:07:43,373 --> 00:07:46,543
Hmm. An embarrassing blight
growing right under your nose.
196
00:07:46,918 --> 00:07:49,170
Not unlike that mustache
you had when we first met.
197
00:07:49,254 --> 00:07:51,798
That mustache was era-appropriate.
198
00:07:52,090 --> 00:07:55,802
The precinct just needs updated
field kits to help us combat the problem.
199
00:07:55,886 --> 00:07:57,679
This paperwork is a mess.
200
00:07:57,763 --> 00:08:00,223
A semicolon that should
clearly be a full colon?
201
00:08:00,307 --> 00:08:02,307
Was this prepared by a recent immigrant?
202
00:08:02,767 --> 00:08:03,850
It's just one typo.
203
00:08:03,934 --> 00:08:05,144
It's gibberish.
204
00:08:05,936 --> 00:08:07,271
Request denied.
205
00:08:11,442 --> 00:08:13,444
Wow. You were right.
206
00:08:13,986 --> 00:08:15,362
All it took was one mistake?
207
00:08:15,446 --> 00:08:17,197
You think that semicolon was a mistake?
208
00:08:17,281 --> 00:08:19,241
No, it was a juicy piece of bait
209
00:08:19,325 --> 00:08:22,743
and she unhinged her
jaw and swallowed it whole.
210
00:08:22,827 --> 00:08:25,163
So, you wanted her to say no to us?
211
00:08:25,371 --> 00:08:28,208
Rejecting a valid request
for such a petty reason?
212
00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:30,918
That's all the ammunition
I need to go over her head.
213
00:08:31,002 --> 00:08:33,295
I secretly scheduled us a one-on-one
214
00:08:33,379 --> 00:08:36,132
with Madeline's boss, Chief Fisker.
215
00:08:36,674 --> 00:08:38,724
You want to hear the funniest thing ever?
216
00:08:39,301 --> 00:08:42,971
I also split an infinitive
and she didn't notice.
217
00:08:43,055 --> 00:08:44,807
[BOTH LAUGH]
218
00:08:45,724 --> 00:08:46,850
BOYLE: Hey, buddy.
219
00:08:47,267 --> 00:08:49,853
Did you check out the department
video camera by any chance?
220
00:08:49,937 --> 00:08:52,439
Yeah, I was going to take it home
and videotape the top of my head.
221
00:08:52,523 --> 00:08:54,373
I think I might be thinning up there.
222
00:08:54,775 --> 00:08:57,985
Cool. Cool.
So, I accidentally left a tape in there,
223
00:08:58,069 --> 00:08:59,362
and I… I want it back.
224
00:08:59,487 --> 00:09:00,738
Why? What's on it?
225
00:09:01,030 --> 00:09:04,158
Nothing.
I just really need it for no reason.
226
00:09:04,575 --> 00:09:06,326
Well, if you want that tape back,
227
00:09:06,410 --> 00:09:08,162
I've got to get something in return.
228
00:09:08,246 --> 00:09:09,831
Are you blackmailing me?
229
00:09:10,456 --> 00:09:11,999
I don't have any money, Hitchcock.
230
00:09:12,083 --> 00:09:14,133
I'm still paying my
uncle's funeral bills.
231
00:09:14,585 --> 00:09:16,419
I rear-ended the hearse. It was a mess.
232
00:09:16,503 --> 00:09:18,803
There's one thing I
want and it's not that big.
233
00:09:19,005 --> 00:09:21,424
I just want you to make
me cool in everyone's eyes.
234
00:09:21,508 --> 00:09:22,551
Not that big?
235
00:09:23,343 --> 00:09:27,055
The Jimmy Jabs has
claimed its first victims.
236
00:09:27,139 --> 00:09:29,432
Boyle, you made no impact.
237
00:09:30,016 --> 00:09:33,687
Also, Detective Scully has
withdrawn due to food poisoning,
238
00:09:33,812 --> 00:09:35,812
which I think we all saw coming.
239
00:09:35,896 --> 00:09:39,357
All right.
The second event is Bulky Bulky Run Run,
240
00:09:39,441 --> 00:09:41,235
the bomb suit foot race.
241
00:09:41,485 --> 00:09:43,695
Sure hope I don't sprain
my arm during the race.
242
00:09:43,779 --> 00:09:46,740
Because I'm going to be opening
up a lot of doors for Katie on our date.
243
00:09:46,824 --> 00:09:49,368
Oh, yeah. I'm going to be a gentleman.
244
00:09:49,618 --> 00:09:50,911
What are you doing, Jake?
245
00:09:51,036 --> 00:09:52,370
Trash talking you,
246
00:09:52,454 --> 00:09:54,830
while simultaneously proving that
I will be respectful of your friend.
247
00:09:54,914 --> 00:09:56,457
It's a tough line to walk.
248
00:09:57,667 --> 00:09:59,502
Got to loosen up my
flower-buying fingers.
249
00:09:59,586 --> 00:10:01,546
I'm going to go nuts on the daisies.
250
00:10:03,381 --> 00:10:06,593
On your Mark, get set, Ruffalo!
251
00:10:09,888 --> 00:10:11,014
GINA: Go!
252
00:10:13,974 --> 00:10:16,852
HITCHCOCK: I'm doing it, Charles!
I look cool!
253
00:10:17,144 --> 00:10:18,311
Whoa!
254
00:10:18,395 --> 00:10:19,396
[THUDDING]
255
00:10:21,815 --> 00:10:23,865
The next event will be "Keep Your Cover."
256
00:10:24,151 --> 00:10:26,820
Contestants must craft
an undercover persona
257
00:10:26,904 --> 00:10:28,863
and talk to as many police officers
258
00:10:28,947 --> 00:10:31,865
as you can before being recognized.
259
00:10:31,949 --> 00:10:35,494
Pregnant. Nice. Means you had sex.
260
00:10:35,578 --> 00:10:38,331
Damn right I did.
And I forgot my birth control.
261
00:10:38,581 --> 00:10:39,832
Yeah. Ah.
262
00:10:40,166 --> 00:10:42,626
I think the belly will draw
attention away from my face.
263
00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:44,294
Smart. Like one big boob. Mmm-hmm.
264
00:10:44,378 --> 00:10:46,797
Jake will go first, then Amy, then Rosa.
265
00:10:46,881 --> 00:10:50,218
On your Mark, get set, Paul Gosselaar!
266
00:10:51,843 --> 00:10:54,012
Please let me have the tape. No dice.
267
00:10:54,512 --> 00:10:56,514
I don't know how to make you cool.
268
00:10:56,598 --> 00:10:58,141
I'm not even that cool myself.
269
00:10:58,642 --> 00:10:59,767
I mean, sure, I have a pizza stone.
270
00:10:59,851 --> 00:11:02,145
You have cool friends like Jake.
271
00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:05,815
I just want to be part of a
conversation where Jake uses my name
272
00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,108
and nobody insults me.
273
00:11:07,192 --> 00:11:08,777
Damn it, you ask too much.
274
00:11:09,152 --> 00:11:10,152
Ah.
275
00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:13,489
I blew it. I only got through two people.
276
00:11:14,156 --> 00:11:16,283
He's kicking so much. You want to feel?
277
00:11:16,867 --> 00:11:18,160
No, that's a bad idea!
278
00:11:19,203 --> 00:11:22,289
Oh! My baby! It's on the side!
279
00:11:22,915 --> 00:11:24,624
Oof. I got to six.
280
00:11:24,708 --> 00:11:28,085
[EXHALES] Dumb baby. People are right.
281
00:11:28,169 --> 00:11:29,211
They ruin everything.
282
00:11:29,295 --> 00:11:31,046
Hey, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I want to try.
283
00:11:31,130 --> 00:11:32,590
Let me be pregnant.
284
00:11:32,882 --> 00:11:34,050
Whoop!
285
00:11:34,175 --> 00:11:35,259
Adorable. Right?
286
00:11:35,343 --> 00:11:39,180
I can't believe I lost again. I was so
psyched up for this. What happened?
287
00:11:39,430 --> 00:11:42,642
Well, maybe being so
psyched up is what happened.
288
00:11:42,934 --> 00:11:44,852
Like, every time we're doing police work,
289
00:11:44,936 --> 00:11:48,036
you're always super smart and
you stay calm and take your time.
290
00:11:48,230 --> 00:11:49,564
But every time we do
dumb games like this,
291
00:11:49,648 --> 00:11:51,948
you get all frantic and
act like a crazy idiot.
292
00:11:52,401 --> 00:11:53,610
My advice? Next time,
293
00:11:54,236 --> 00:11:55,696
don't act like a crazy idiot.
294
00:11:56,029 --> 00:11:58,323
Thanks. That's surprisingly insightful.
295
00:11:58,448 --> 00:12:02,369
Yeah, well.
Motherhood really opens a man's eyes.
296
00:12:02,577 --> 00:12:04,245
Hmm. I finally feel as if I'm part
297
00:12:04,329 --> 00:12:06,038
of something bigger than myself.
298
00:12:06,205 --> 00:12:07,414
All right. Too much?
299
00:12:07,498 --> 00:12:08,499
Yeah. Peralta.
300
00:12:09,375 --> 00:12:11,752
What the hell? Where were you?
I got eliminated.
301
00:12:12,628 --> 00:12:14,296
[DAINTY VOICE] Excuse me, Officer.
302
00:12:14,380 --> 00:12:15,464
Yeah, sweetheart.
303
00:12:15,548 --> 00:12:17,466
Sweetheart? Seriously, Hank?
304
00:12:17,550 --> 00:12:19,468
Is that how you talk to
women who come in here?
305
00:12:19,552 --> 00:12:20,553
Jimmy Jabs.
306
00:12:20,970 --> 00:12:22,387
I didn't even make it past one person.
307
00:12:22,471 --> 00:12:24,056
You're out? I'm in the finals?
308
00:12:24,473 --> 00:12:26,807
And all I have to do to get
Katie's number is beat Amy?
309
00:12:26,891 --> 00:12:28,059
Oh, that's nothing.
310
00:12:28,184 --> 00:12:30,645
Hey, don't you dare touch Amy Junior.
311
00:12:30,729 --> 00:12:34,148
[GASPS] That's right, it's your baby.
312
00:12:34,232 --> 00:12:36,150
Are you saying I knocked you up?
313
00:12:36,234 --> 00:12:37,860
-You sure did.
-[MIMICKING CRYING] Jake.
314
00:12:37,944 --> 00:12:38,945
Hmm?
315
00:12:39,279 --> 00:12:40,404
Can I talk to you for a second?
316
00:12:40,488 --> 00:12:42,615
Yeah, sure thing. Hold that. Sure.
317
00:12:42,949 --> 00:12:44,908
All right, Jake.
You want to call off the bet?
318
00:12:44,992 --> 00:12:47,911
Seriously? You're going to back
out now just because you're losing?
319
00:12:47,995 --> 00:12:50,845
What is this, a riverboat
casino on the River of No Rules?
320
00:12:51,332 --> 00:12:53,750
No. I'm giving you a
chance to call off the bet
321
00:12:53,834 --> 00:12:55,794
because it's clear you don't
actually want Katie's number.
322
00:12:55,878 --> 00:12:57,420
Because you're still into Amy.
323
00:12:57,504 --> 00:12:59,130
What? That's crazy.
324
00:12:59,214 --> 00:13:01,299
I just spent the whole day
fighting for another girl's number.
325
00:13:01,383 --> 00:13:03,467
[SCOFFS] You spent the
whole day flirting with Amy.
326
00:13:03,551 --> 00:13:06,679
Yeah, we're joking around because
we're friends, now that I've moved on.
327
00:13:06,763 --> 00:13:07,764
Then, prove it.
328
00:13:08,514 --> 00:13:11,100
Beat Amy and don't flirt with her at all.
329
00:13:11,601 --> 00:13:14,520
Fine. Easy. But you better tell
Katie to clear her schedule out
330
00:13:14,604 --> 00:13:17,731
Thursday for a date.
Because I am working nights until then.
331
00:13:17,815 --> 00:13:20,715
And the following weekend, I
am out of town. Let's do this.
332
00:13:23,737 --> 00:13:25,364
Hey, Jake, question for you.
333
00:13:25,530 --> 00:13:28,116
When I beat you, which
victory dance should I do?
334
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:29,242
This one?
335
00:13:31,495 --> 00:13:32,496
Or this one?
336
00:13:34,289 --> 00:13:36,208
Oh, wow. Okay.
337
00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:41,586
Both are examples of victory dances.
338
00:13:41,670 --> 00:13:42,671
No comeback?
339
00:13:43,047 --> 00:13:44,847
After I burned you with those moves?
340
00:13:45,716 --> 00:13:47,218
You must be pretty nervous.
341
00:13:47,676 --> 00:13:48,719
Yep.
342
00:13:48,886 --> 00:13:50,554
Hey, Jake. Hey, Charles.
343
00:13:51,055 --> 00:13:52,181
Who's this with me?
344
00:13:54,392 --> 00:13:55,393
Hitchcock?
345
00:13:59,312 --> 00:14:01,064
Well, we should go now.
346
00:14:02,607 --> 00:14:07,611
Wow. What a high.
Do you guys feel this way all the time?
347
00:14:07,695 --> 00:14:09,613
I did what you wanted. Give me the tape.
348
00:14:09,697 --> 00:14:11,699
Oh, no, we're not done yet.
349
00:14:11,950 --> 00:14:15,412
Next, I want you to tell
everyone you think I'm handsome.
350
00:14:16,246 --> 00:14:17,296
Make it seem natural.
351
00:14:17,622 --> 00:14:19,456
You are a monster.
352
00:14:21,375 --> 00:14:23,375
So, they're calling the drug giggle pig?
353
00:14:23,710 --> 00:14:26,046
Chief Fisker. Sergeant Jeffords.
354
00:14:26,213 --> 00:14:27,922
Raymond. Deputy Chief Wuntch.
355
00:14:28,006 --> 00:14:29,591
I didn't realize you'd be attending.
356
00:14:29,675 --> 00:14:33,220
I can tell. You have more of
a fly-catching gape than usual.
357
00:14:33,887 --> 00:14:36,264
I've examined his proposal.
There's no proof that giggle pig
358
00:14:36,348 --> 00:14:37,514
is a serious problem.
359
00:14:37,598 --> 00:14:40,434
So, we're just supposed to wait
until it turns into an epidemic?
360
00:14:40,518 --> 00:14:42,436
You're like the League of Nations in '36,
361
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:45,440
just hoping the Abyssinian
crisis resolves itself.
362
00:14:45,606 --> 00:14:48,693
That's the lesson you draw
from the fall of Addis Ababa?
363
00:14:48,943 --> 00:14:50,987
Raymond, you sound so naive.
364
00:14:51,154 --> 00:14:54,866
And you sound just
like Victor Emmanuel III.
365
00:14:55,158 --> 00:14:56,700
I have no idea who's winning.
366
00:14:57,909 --> 00:14:58,910
I am.
367
00:14:59,035 --> 00:15:02,538
Captain Holt, how serious a threat
do you really think giggle pig poses?
368
00:15:02,622 --> 00:15:04,290
Very serious. Or it could be nothing.
369
00:15:04,374 --> 00:15:05,876
Or it could be the new crack.
370
00:15:06,042 --> 00:15:09,420
The new crack?
And you only need $1,200 to fight it?
371
00:15:09,504 --> 00:15:12,131
Well, in an ideal situation, uh,
we would attack the problem
372
00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:13,717
with a lot more firepower.
373
00:15:13,884 --> 00:15:15,426
Perhaps even a task force.
374
00:15:15,885 --> 00:15:17,835
That makes sense. Let's make it happen.
375
00:15:18,888 --> 00:15:20,055
That was amazing!
376
00:15:20,139 --> 00:15:21,515
We got a task force!
377
00:15:21,724 --> 00:15:23,934
More importantly, Wuntch got served.
378
00:15:25,060 --> 00:15:28,063
Oh, my God. Wuntch sounds like lunch.
379
00:15:28,939 --> 00:15:31,192
No, this opens up so many new avenues.
380
00:15:31,358 --> 00:15:33,859
You got your task force. I'm surprised.
381
00:15:33,943 --> 00:15:34,944
That's funny. After 20 years,
382
00:15:35,028 --> 00:15:37,405
I'd think you'd be used to
me slam-dunking in your face.
383
00:15:37,489 --> 00:15:39,990
I'm surprised you didn't see
what was going on in there.
384
00:15:40,074 --> 00:15:42,576
I got you riled up, you
oversold giggle pig,
385
00:15:42,660 --> 00:15:46,210
and now you're running an expensive
task force in a time of budget cuts.
386
00:15:46,915 --> 00:15:48,124
You better make some big arrests
387
00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:51,503
and quick, or you'll be the
poster-boy for departmental waste.
388
00:15:52,586 --> 00:15:54,588
Slam dunk returned.
389
00:15:55,380 --> 00:15:58,509
Not if we make those arrests.
Three point dunk.
390
00:15:59,343 --> 00:16:02,693
You guys really don't know enough
about basketball to be doing this.
391
00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:05,974
Join hands one and
all, for we have reached
392
00:16:06,058 --> 00:16:08,185
the final event of the Jimmy Jabs.
393
00:16:08,352 --> 00:16:09,686
The Obstacle Course.
394
00:16:10,020 --> 00:16:11,979
Good luck. You're going to need it.
395
00:16:13,856 --> 00:16:17,693
Yes, we all need luck.
Thank you for offering me some.
396
00:16:17,860 --> 00:16:20,363
On your mark, get Seth, Rogen!
397
00:16:21,697 --> 00:16:25,242
GINA: Contestants must make
it past the barricade hurdles,
398
00:16:25,326 --> 00:16:28,370
then use a beanbag gun to get a snack.
399
00:16:28,454 --> 00:16:29,496
PERALTA: Ah!
400
00:16:29,580 --> 00:16:32,791
You will eat the snack in its entirety.
401
00:16:33,124 --> 00:16:34,668
Ah! Mmm!
402
00:16:34,918 --> 00:16:35,919
[ALL CHEERING]
403
00:16:38,088 --> 00:16:40,298
Come on. Close, close, close, close!
404
00:16:41,508 --> 00:16:44,010
GINA: Next, head down to the first floor,
405
00:16:44,094 --> 00:16:46,762
where you will locate a
pamphlet about bullying.
406
00:16:46,846 --> 00:16:51,308
Then, print out a picture of
me using a laptop from 1982.
407
00:16:51,392 --> 00:16:54,895
Whoever grabs their
printout first is the winner.
408
00:16:56,105 --> 00:16:57,731
Surprise twist!
409
00:17:00,234 --> 00:17:01,652
[PERALTA SCREAMS]
410
00:17:02,778 --> 00:17:05,030
What are you doing, Santiago? Go!
411
00:17:06,407 --> 00:17:08,032
PERALTA: You're burning my skin!
412
00:17:08,408 --> 00:17:10,743
No broken rolly wheels!
413
00:17:13,204 --> 00:17:17,917
I did it! I took my time!
I wasn't a crazy idiot! And I won!
414
00:17:18,001 --> 00:17:20,169
I finally wo-on!
415
00:17:20,378 --> 00:17:23,131
Oh! Yeah! Yes! Yeah.
416
00:17:27,092 --> 00:17:28,142
What's going on here?
417
00:17:29,845 --> 00:17:31,763
Someone answer him now!
418
00:17:31,930 --> 00:17:32,931
Santiago!
419
00:17:33,515 --> 00:17:34,516
Peralta!
420
00:17:35,684 --> 00:17:36,684
Boyle?
421
00:17:36,768 --> 00:17:38,561
Hitchcock is very handsome.
422
00:17:38,645 --> 00:17:39,813
Why, thank you, Boyle.
423
00:17:40,939 --> 00:17:42,148
No one has anything to say?
424
00:17:42,232 --> 00:17:44,943
Captain, what you just saw
was the Jimmy Jab Games.
425
00:17:45,401 --> 00:17:47,402
It's a bunch of dumb
contests we play to kill the time.
426
00:17:47,486 --> 00:17:48,779
Nobody even cares who wins.
427
00:17:48,863 --> 00:17:50,031
I won.
428
00:17:50,281 --> 00:17:51,866
It's stupid, but we like it.
429
00:17:52,908 --> 00:17:54,368
Clean this up. Now.
430
00:17:57,204 --> 00:17:59,414
Boyle, I'm ready to take
this to the next stage.
431
00:17:59,498 --> 00:18:00,998
You're going to pierce my ear.
432
00:18:01,208 --> 00:18:03,085
Wait, what are you doing in my locker?
433
00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:05,337
I can't do this.
I can't make you look cool.
434
00:18:05,795 --> 00:18:08,839
Because you're afraid that Jake
and I are going to cut you out.
435
00:18:08,923 --> 00:18:09,924
Well, you're not wrong.
436
00:18:10,008 --> 00:18:11,050
I'm going to find that tape.
437
00:18:11,134 --> 00:18:13,719
You think I'd just leave something
that valuable lying around?
438
00:18:13,803 --> 00:18:14,929
I got it on me.
439
00:18:15,597 --> 00:18:17,474
Oh! Give me that tape!
440
00:18:18,141 --> 00:18:19,141
[GROANING]
441
00:18:19,225 --> 00:18:20,560
Give me that tape!
442
00:18:20,769 --> 00:18:23,187
Jake! Help me!
443
00:18:25,189 --> 00:18:27,023
The Serbian President's
plane is wheels up.
444
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:29,150
Report to your motorcade
positions immediately.
445
00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:30,527
Let's go.
446
00:18:31,195 --> 00:18:32,862
Hey. You gave it a good try.
447
00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:33,947
Sorry you lost.
448
00:18:34,031 --> 00:18:35,699
No. [SIGHS] It's for the best.
449
00:18:37,451 --> 00:18:38,452
I let Amy win.
450
00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:40,954
Close, close, close! Close!
451
00:18:42,497 --> 00:18:44,540
You're right. I'm not over her.
452
00:18:51,673 --> 00:18:53,841
Boyle, get out. I need to talk to Jake.
453
00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:57,011
Okay. Bye. I warmed up the seat.
454
00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:03,850
Ugh, he did warm up the seat.
It's like a fire-pit.
455
00:19:04,601 --> 00:19:06,185
Look, if you're here for your $200,
456
00:19:06,269 --> 00:19:08,354
can I interest you in a check
that will definitely bounce?
457
00:19:08,438 --> 00:19:09,647
No, you will pay me in cash.
458
00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:10,816
Okay.
459
00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:14,944
[SIGHS] Look, I thought I was over Amy.
But clearly, I'm not.
460
00:19:15,028 --> 00:19:16,904
You know? I'm as frustrated as you are.
461
00:19:16,988 --> 00:19:17,989
I'm not frustrated.
462
00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:20,032
But I am not enjoying this.
463
00:19:20,658 --> 00:19:22,868
It is not like you to
get hung up on a girl.
464
00:19:23,953 --> 00:19:25,153
I don't know what to do.
465
00:19:25,413 --> 00:19:27,163
You call Katie. That's what you do.
466
00:19:27,957 --> 00:19:29,750
The only way to move on is to move on.
467
00:19:29,834 --> 00:19:31,585
Whether you think you're ready to or not.
468
00:19:31,669 --> 00:19:33,319
You've got to get out there, man.
469
00:19:34,755 --> 00:19:36,841
All right. Thank you.
470
00:19:37,258 --> 00:19:38,258
Good luck.
471
00:19:39,884 --> 00:19:40,885
Are you okay, sir?
472
00:19:42,679 --> 00:19:43,804
I don't want to sound dramatic,
473
00:19:43,888 --> 00:19:46,433
but today has been sub-optimal.
474
00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:48,650
That doesn't leave this office.
475
00:19:49,436 --> 00:19:52,563
Wuntch beat me, the squad was a disaster,
476
00:19:52,647 --> 00:19:55,066
and in the end, do you
know who I'm angriest with?
477
00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:56,651
Yourself? No. Wuntch.
478
00:19:57,234 --> 00:20:01,196
I need this task force to succeed,
and there's not a detective here
479
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,031
who is adult enough to lead it.
480
00:20:03,115 --> 00:20:06,368
Peralta and Santiago were
cowards, Diaz was disrespectful,
481
00:20:06,452 --> 00:20:10,748
and I just saw Hitchcock
and Boyle fighting like children.
482
00:20:11,206 --> 00:20:13,083
Let go of me!
Give me the tape, Hitchcock!
483
00:20:13,167 --> 00:20:14,209
Get off me!
484
00:20:14,293 --> 00:20:15,593
You're squeezing my boobs!
485
00:20:16,252 --> 00:20:21,382
Sir, I know you think Rosa disrespected
you, but I found her inspiring.
486
00:20:21,716 --> 00:20:22,758
She did what I should have done.
487
00:20:22,842 --> 00:20:24,442
Stand up and tell you the truth.
488
00:20:24,802 --> 00:20:25,952
And what truth is that?
489
00:20:27,221 --> 00:20:31,893
First, everyone else made this
Wuntch-lunch connection instantly.
490
00:20:32,393 --> 00:20:34,353
Second, Wuntch didn't beat you.
491
00:20:34,437 --> 00:20:36,270
She saddled me with this task force.
492
00:20:36,354 --> 00:20:39,441
You think she's consumed with pettiness?
You're no better.
493
00:20:40,317 --> 00:20:42,194
Yes, the task force is risky.
494
00:20:42,819 --> 00:20:45,869
But it gives us a chance to do
a lot of good in the community.
495
00:20:46,198 --> 00:20:51,411
Sir, if you ask me, you're acting
like a real Victor Emmanuel III.
496
00:20:52,871 --> 00:20:55,456
You used that insult
completely incorrectly, but…
497
00:20:56,290 --> 00:21:00,961
I suppose I have let Madeline
distract me from our purpose.
498
00:21:01,253 --> 00:21:03,853
Which is why I think Rosa
should lead the task force.
499
00:21:04,590 --> 00:21:05,925
There's no BS with her.
500
00:21:06,509 --> 00:21:07,510
Agreed.
501
00:21:08,719 --> 00:21:09,720
Thank you, Sergeant.
502
00:21:11,013 --> 00:21:12,471
And I know you're lying
503
00:21:12,555 --> 00:21:14,055
about that lunch-Wuntch thing.
504
00:21:14,641 --> 00:21:15,725
That was mine.
505
00:21:18,228 --> 00:21:20,563
How was the motorcade?
Any assassinations?
506
00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:22,314
No, it was boring.
507
00:21:22,398 --> 00:21:24,734
Mmm.
Well, thanks for getting the tape back.
508
00:21:26,361 --> 00:21:27,361
Oh!
509
00:21:27,445 --> 00:21:28,822
Oh, got it.
510
00:21:30,406 --> 00:21:32,240
I'll see you tonight at my place.
God, I hate you.
511
00:21:32,324 --> 00:21:33,575
Don't be late.