1
00:00:05,515 --> 00:00:08,935
I didn't wash my hands, and I don't care.
2
00:00:09,686 --> 00:00:10,687
Yup.
3
00:00:11,187 --> 00:00:13,203
Cool to be some place
where they don't cut
4
00:00:13,287 --> 00:00:15,387
you off right when
things get good, right?
5
00:00:16,151 --> 00:00:19,486
Another pitcher of your
strongest beer please, good sir,
6
00:00:19,570 --> 00:00:22,156
and a glass thingy to drink it out of.
7
00:00:22,322 --> 00:00:26,326
And, uh, one of whatever
this guy's having for that guy,
8
00:00:26,410 --> 00:00:29,079
and one of what that
guy's having for this guy.
9
00:00:29,538 --> 00:00:31,706
And another round for everyone, on me!
10
00:00:31,790 --> 00:00:33,584
-[CHEERING]
-PERALTA: Yeah.
11
00:00:33,917 --> 00:00:35,752
That's right. Thanks, buddy.
12
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:36,836
What's the occasion?
13
00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:38,630
Oh, I'm celebrating.
14
00:00:38,714 --> 00:00:42,717
My name's Jake Peralta, and
I just got fired from the NYPD.
15
00:00:42,801 --> 00:00:44,803
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
16
00:01:05,823 --> 00:01:07,157
All right, listen up.
17
00:01:07,241 --> 00:01:08,826
What you're about to
see is highly disturbing,
18
00:01:08,910 --> 00:01:10,077
but please, no comments.
19
00:01:10,161 --> 00:01:13,414
This man is in pain, so
above all else, be kind.
20
00:01:16,751 --> 00:01:18,419
JEFFORDS: Good morning, Boyle.
21
00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:20,337
Let's just get it out there.
22
00:01:20,421 --> 00:01:22,256
Vivian broke up with me last night.
23
00:01:22,340 --> 00:01:24,258
VIVIAN: I'm sorry, Chucklebunny.
24
00:01:24,383 --> 00:01:25,383
[SIGHS]
25
00:01:25,759 --> 00:01:27,594
Charles, wait! Yes?
26
00:01:28,470 --> 00:01:29,638
Your food dehydrator.
27
00:01:30,931 --> 00:01:32,182
Oh, God.
28
00:01:32,641 --> 00:01:33,809
It's official.
29
00:01:34,267 --> 00:01:37,478
The wedding's off, and
this is what I'm like now.
30
00:01:37,562 --> 00:01:39,397
-Life is a pit.
-GINA: Excuse me?
31
00:01:39,481 --> 00:01:40,523
I don't understand.
32
00:01:40,607 --> 00:01:43,735
Did you already have a matrix
getup at home for some reason?
33
00:01:43,860 --> 00:01:45,862
No, Gina, I bought this with the money
34
00:01:45,946 --> 00:01:48,489
I was going to spend on our
honeymoon to Cape Canaveral.
35
00:01:48,573 --> 00:01:49,699
I'm so sorry, buddy.
36
00:01:49,783 --> 00:01:52,744
BOYLE: Don't be.
I'm settling into the darkness nicely.
37
00:01:54,287 --> 00:01:55,537
I definitely get you now.
38
00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:58,082
What you got there, Boyle?
39
00:01:58,166 --> 00:01:59,541
Eggs in a bag.
40
00:01:59,625 --> 00:02:02,335
Nothing brings me joy
anymore, not even food.
41
00:02:02,419 --> 00:02:03,969
Now, I only eat for sustenance.
42
00:02:07,258 --> 00:02:09,676
Smart. Save that for later. [CHUCKLES]
43
00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:11,762
Peralta? My office. Now.
44
00:02:12,930 --> 00:02:13,931
[SIGHS]
45
00:02:15,599 --> 00:02:16,683
Sir?
46
00:02:16,767 --> 00:02:17,768
Ah.
47
00:02:18,185 --> 00:02:20,187
Commissioner Podolski. It's been a while.
48
00:02:20,271 --> 00:02:21,438
Maybe because you haven't put
49
00:02:21,522 --> 00:02:23,774
any of my children in handcuffs recently.
50
00:02:24,108 --> 00:02:26,026
Yay, enemies for life. [CHUCKLES]
51
00:02:26,110 --> 00:02:27,778
Peralta, have you been
investigating Lucas Wint?
52
00:02:27,862 --> 00:02:28,862
Uh, yeah, I have.
53
00:02:28,946 --> 00:02:30,655
I think he's laundering
money for drug dealers.
54
00:02:30,739 --> 00:02:31,740
Don't be an idiot.
55
00:02:31,824 --> 00:02:33,824
Lucas Wint is a civic leader.
56
00:02:33,908 --> 00:02:35,701
He runs a major charity.
57
00:02:35,785 --> 00:02:38,746
His community center is the
lifeblood of that neighborhood.
58
00:02:38,913 --> 00:02:42,500
And he officially claims you
have been harassing him.
59
00:02:42,876 --> 00:02:45,086
What? That's insane.
60
00:02:45,420 --> 00:02:46,504
I've been trying to talk to him,
61
00:02:46,588 --> 00:02:48,881
and he keeps avoiding
me like a guilty person.
62
00:02:48,965 --> 00:02:51,465
So, I approached him at
his weekly basketball game.
63
00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:54,678
Hey, there, Wint.
I got a couple questions for you.
64
00:02:54,762 --> 00:02:55,846
I told you to back off.
65
00:02:55,930 --> 00:02:57,515
This is completely inappropriate.
66
00:02:57,599 --> 00:03:00,310
No. This is me scoring in your face!
67
00:03:01,227 --> 00:03:02,395
Kobe!
68
00:03:02,770 --> 00:03:03,938
Seemed like an obvious goal-tend,
69
00:03:04,022 --> 00:03:05,731
but that's besides the point.
70
00:03:05,815 --> 00:03:08,399
Peralta, do you have any
evidence to support your suspicions?
71
00:03:08,483 --> 00:03:10,610
There's a lot of chatter
amongst low level drug dealers.
72
00:03:10,694 --> 00:03:12,111
Chatter? Sorry, I know.
73
00:03:12,195 --> 00:03:14,406
I know. I hate that word, too.
Tittle-tattle.
74
00:03:14,656 --> 00:03:17,242
Just stay away from Wint.
That's an order.
75
00:03:17,326 --> 00:03:19,077
[SIGHS] Captain, I'm telling you.
76
00:03:19,161 --> 00:03:20,829
This is reliable tittle-tattle.
77
00:03:20,913 --> 00:03:21,963
You have to trust me.
78
00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:23,206
Trust me.
79
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:25,416
It's in your best interest to back off.
80
00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:26,584
Fine.
81
00:03:26,668 --> 00:03:28,336
But just for the record, I
think you're both wrong.
82
00:03:28,420 --> 00:03:30,047
Self-dismissed.
83
00:03:31,506 --> 00:03:33,556
We have to help Charles. He's devastated.
84
00:03:33,759 --> 00:03:35,009
I hate seeing him like this.
85
00:03:35,093 --> 00:03:37,679
Breakups are cartoony thumbs down.
86
00:03:37,763 --> 00:03:40,263
They make people feel
face with "X's" for the eyes.
87
00:03:40,973 --> 00:03:42,015
What does that even mean?
88
00:03:42,099 --> 00:03:44,184
The English language cannot fully capture
89
00:03:44,268 --> 00:03:46,103
the depth and complexity of my thoughts,
90
00:03:46,187 --> 00:03:50,357
so I'm incorporating Emoji into
my speech to better express myself.
91
00:03:50,441 --> 00:03:51,984
Winky face. Oh, Lord.
92
00:03:52,068 --> 00:03:53,277
Listen, this is simple.
93
00:03:53,444 --> 00:03:55,779
Boyle needs a little rebound nooky.
94
00:03:55,863 --> 00:03:57,322
Eggplant Emoji.
95
00:03:57,406 --> 00:03:58,657
Rosa, you wanna get on that?
96
00:03:58,741 --> 00:04:00,659
Don't make me rip your tongue off.
97
00:04:00,743 --> 00:04:03,161
I would talk to him, but I
don't think I have any advice.
98
00:04:03,245 --> 00:04:05,545
All of my breakups have
been completely mutual.
99
00:04:05,748 --> 00:04:08,417
This is the best possible
option for both of us.
100
00:04:08,501 --> 00:04:10,211
Agreed. Take care.
101
00:04:12,171 --> 00:04:14,839
That was the end of an
eight year relationship.
102
00:04:14,923 --> 00:04:17,133
You know, I haven't had
that many romantic breakups,
103
00:04:17,217 --> 00:04:19,218
but neither of my children
will speak to me anymore.
104
00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:21,220
All right, none of you are any help.
105
00:04:21,304 --> 00:04:23,431
Sarge and I will cheer up Charles.
106
00:04:24,182 --> 00:04:25,349
DIAZ: Oh.
107
00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:27,351
He's not even chewing them anymore.
108
00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:28,520
Ugh.
109
00:04:28,937 --> 00:04:31,188
Listen to this text Boyle just sent me.
110
00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:35,276
"I finally know what used napkins
at a barbecue restaurant feel like."
111
00:04:35,652 --> 00:04:37,236
I hate breakups.
112
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:38,738
I hope I never go through one again.
113
00:04:38,822 --> 00:04:39,989
Really?
114
00:04:40,073 --> 00:04:41,657
You think you'll spend the
rest of your life with Teddy?
115
00:04:41,741 --> 00:04:43,284
What? No.
116
00:04:43,785 --> 00:04:45,453
Maybe. I don't know.
117
00:04:45,537 --> 00:04:47,495
I'm just saying getting
dumped is a nightmare.
118
00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:49,122
No arguments here.
119
00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:50,624
I remember my worst breakup.
120
00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:53,002
Eighth grade. Jenny Gildenhorn.
121
00:04:53,669 --> 00:04:54,670
Hey, Jenny.
122
00:04:55,004 --> 00:04:57,172
Jake, I don't wanna go out anymore.
123
00:04:57,256 --> 00:04:58,340
I like Eddie Fung now.
124
00:04:58,424 --> 00:05:00,133
But it's my Bar Mitzvah.
125
00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:01,510
We were gonna grind.
126
00:05:03,095 --> 00:05:04,846
That day, I truly became a man.
127
00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:06,473
Wonder where Eddie Fung is now.
128
00:05:06,557 --> 00:05:08,058
867 Clinton Street, apartment 2A.
129
00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:09,851
I know exactly where that bastard is.
130
00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:11,144
[CHUCKLING]
131
00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:12,228
Get down! It's Wint!
132
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,064
What? Wint? Holt told you to drop that.
133
00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:15,357
I thought we were working our burglary.
134
00:05:15,441 --> 00:05:17,901
I know, I lied. Apology?
Apology accepted.
135
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,986
Look, Podolski is wrong. Wint is guilty.
136
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:22,488
Yesterday, I saw him get into
a car with a known drug dealer.
137
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:23,739
I didn't have time to take a picture.
138
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:24,990
But today, I came prepared.
139
00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:26,659
Did you tell Holt what you saw? No.
140
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:27,993
I don't trust him on this.
141
00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:29,078
How can you not trust Holt?
142
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,245
He's the executor of my will.
143
00:05:30,329 --> 00:05:32,039
Wint has crazy ties to City Hall.
144
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:34,667
I just don't think Holt would
risk giving up his command.
145
00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:38,004
Anyway… Oh, crap. Where'd he go?
146
00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:39,505
-[KNOCKING]
-Ah!
147
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:40,839
Hello, Detective Peralta.
148
00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:43,300
Amy. Hmm?
149
00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:45,010
Tell me who's there.
150
00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:46,429
I'm blind.
151
00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:50,140
You disobeyed my direct
orders to drop this case.
152
00:05:50,224 --> 00:05:51,517
I staked out Wint 'cause I got a tip
153
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:52,851
he was meeting up with a drug dealer.
154
00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:54,228
And why didn't you tell me about this?
155
00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:55,937
Because you told me to drop the case.
156
00:05:56,021 --> 00:05:58,648
Look, let's just agree to say
"I'm sorry" on the count of three.
157
00:05:58,732 --> 00:06:00,358
One, two, three.
158
00:06:01,777 --> 00:06:03,736
See?
Now, I'm just disappointed in both of us.
159
00:06:03,820 --> 00:06:05,488
This is unacceptable.
You've crossed the line.
160
00:06:05,572 --> 00:06:07,824
Sir, I'm Amy Santiago and
I have something to say.
161
00:06:07,908 --> 00:06:09,575
I think you're wrong.
162
00:06:09,659 --> 00:06:11,452
I think Detective Peralta
is onto something,
163
00:06:11,536 --> 00:06:13,079
and you should let him pursue it.
164
00:06:13,163 --> 00:06:14,998
I'm Amy Santiago and I'm done talking.
165
00:06:15,082 --> 00:06:17,584
Good.
Because this is none of your concern.
166
00:06:17,876 --> 00:06:20,586
Commissioner Podolski is bringing
you up on charges and specs.
167
00:06:20,670 --> 00:06:22,338
You're facing a six month suspension.
168
00:06:22,422 --> 00:06:24,340
And you're on administrative
leave until the hearing.
169
00:06:24,424 --> 00:06:26,175
Now, get out of my office.
170
00:06:26,259 --> 00:06:27,385
Fine.
171
00:06:28,594 --> 00:06:29,944
Here's my gun and my badge.
172
00:06:30,221 --> 00:06:32,514
I don't need those.
You're not suspended yet.
173
00:06:32,598 --> 00:06:33,974
You're on administrative leave.
174
00:06:34,058 --> 00:06:36,060
You never let me do anything cool!
175
00:06:38,938 --> 00:06:40,939
Ah. Good morning, Captain.
176
00:06:41,023 --> 00:06:42,232
I got you your favorite breakfast,
177
00:06:42,316 --> 00:06:43,692
a plain bagel and a water.
178
00:06:44,110 --> 00:06:45,736
Don't try to soften me up.
179
00:06:45,820 --> 00:06:47,154
Why did you ask me
to meet you in this alley
180
00:06:47,238 --> 00:06:48,739
in Bensonhurst at nine in the morning?
181
00:06:48,823 --> 00:06:50,365
Look, my best chance
of not getting suspended
182
00:06:50,449 --> 00:06:51,700
is proving that Wint is guilty.
183
00:06:51,784 --> 00:06:53,785
I've got a confidential
informant I need you to meet.
184
00:06:53,869 --> 00:06:56,663
You continued to work this
case against my direct orders?
185
00:06:56,747 --> 00:06:58,331
You astound me.
186
00:06:58,415 --> 00:06:59,416
Thank you, sir.
187
00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:01,168
You astound me, as well.
188
00:07:01,252 --> 00:07:03,211
But I didn't find him.
189
00:07:03,545 --> 00:07:05,004
Santiago did.
190
00:07:05,588 --> 00:07:07,799
What is going on with you?
191
00:07:07,966 --> 00:07:09,091
I don't know, sir.
192
00:07:09,175 --> 00:07:11,010
We're both off-roading it here.
193
00:07:11,094 --> 00:07:13,596
My internal GPS has been
recalculating for a week.
194
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,014
This is Isaac.
195
00:07:15,098 --> 00:07:16,849
He used to be a pusher
for the Bay Ridge boys.
196
00:07:16,933 --> 00:07:18,809
Dude. Drugs don't need pushing.
197
00:07:18,893 --> 00:07:20,979
They push themselves. People love drugs.
198
00:07:21,229 --> 00:07:22,313
Tell him about the donations.
199
00:07:22,397 --> 00:07:23,939
All right, look. Every Friday,
200
00:07:24,023 --> 00:07:25,024
I'd put cash into a duffel bag
201
00:07:25,108 --> 00:07:26,650
and bring it to Wint Community Center,
202
00:07:26,734 --> 00:07:27,985
room 265,
203
00:07:28,069 --> 00:07:30,988
and they mark it down as a charitable
donation in their account book.
204
00:07:31,072 --> 00:07:33,283
Ergo, uh-laundering.
205
00:07:34,117 --> 00:07:35,242
So, why should we believe you?
206
00:07:35,326 --> 00:07:36,326
I don't care who you believe.
207
00:07:36,410 --> 00:07:37,494
Just know I hate those dudes now.
208
00:07:37,578 --> 00:07:38,745
They carved up my territory so bad,
209
00:07:38,829 --> 00:07:39,829
I had to quit selling drugs.
210
00:07:39,913 --> 00:07:41,081
And I love selling drugs.
211
00:07:41,165 --> 00:07:42,207
It was my dream job.
212
00:07:42,291 --> 00:07:43,666
Sir, I filled out a warrant request
213
00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:45,794
to search the community
center for the account book.
214
00:07:45,878 --> 00:07:48,338
I need you to sign it before
I can take it to a judge.
215
00:07:48,422 --> 00:07:51,672
I know I'm asking you to stick
your neck out, but please trust me.
216
00:07:52,801 --> 00:07:53,968
Fine.
217
00:07:54,052 --> 00:07:57,138
But I'll be with you
every step of the way.
218
00:07:57,222 --> 00:07:58,932
You know, you should just
put a microchip in his neck
219
00:07:59,016 --> 00:08:00,016
like a little doggie.
220
00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:02,400
All right, Isaac, thank you.
Yeah, you're done.
221
00:08:02,978 --> 00:08:03,978
All right, guys.
222
00:08:04,062 --> 00:08:05,563
We have Peralta's hearing at four.
223
00:08:05,647 --> 00:08:06,981
Anybody seen Boyle?
224
00:08:07,065 --> 00:08:08,233
Present.
225
00:08:08,650 --> 00:08:10,317
He seems even worse than before.
226
00:08:10,401 --> 00:08:12,987
I lost Vivian and now I might lose Jake.
227
00:08:13,112 --> 00:08:14,154
I don't know what else to do.
228
00:08:14,238 --> 00:08:15,239
I've tried being supportive.
229
00:08:15,323 --> 00:08:19,284
I listened to him talk about
Vivian's lips for over two hours.
230
00:08:19,368 --> 00:08:20,869
He kept describing them as ample.
231
00:08:20,953 --> 00:08:22,163
So ample.
232
00:08:23,748 --> 00:08:24,874
Rosa.
233
00:08:25,458 --> 00:08:26,758
Have you ever been dumped?
234
00:08:28,961 --> 00:08:30,003
No.
235
00:08:30,087 --> 00:08:31,755
In all my breakups,
I'm always the dumper.
236
00:08:31,839 --> 00:08:32,840
I know you're having a hard time,
237
00:08:32,924 --> 00:08:34,591
but I think I can fix this.
238
00:08:34,675 --> 00:08:38,554
There's this thing that I do whenever I..
.feel.
239
00:08:38,638 --> 00:08:39,680
What?
240
00:08:40,056 --> 00:08:42,725
Burn everything.
241
00:08:44,392 --> 00:08:45,602
[SIGHS]
242
00:08:46,519 --> 00:08:48,480
Okay. This feels right.
243
00:08:49,397 --> 00:08:51,315
No, it's terrible!
Vivian, I won't let you burn!
244
00:08:51,399 --> 00:08:53,526
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ow!
245
00:08:53,735 --> 00:08:55,069
Ah! Ooh!
246
00:08:55,153 --> 00:08:57,155
Ah! Oh, that's so hot!
247
00:08:57,239 --> 00:08:59,241
What is that? It's coffee.
248
00:08:59,491 --> 00:09:01,451
[SIGHS] Coffee?
249
00:09:02,535 --> 00:09:03,536
PERALTA: Look at us.
250
00:09:03,620 --> 00:09:05,913
Three rogue cops taking on a case
251
00:09:05,997 --> 00:09:07,647
the Commissioner told us to drop.
252
00:09:07,749 --> 00:09:09,041
Button up your jacket. Sit up straight.
253
00:09:09,125 --> 00:09:11,752
Judge Mindel has a reputation
for being strict and proper.
254
00:09:11,836 --> 00:09:14,213
All right, no worries.
I'll just act like you.
255
00:09:14,297 --> 00:09:17,008
Say something so I can get
the cadence of your voice down.
256
00:09:17,092 --> 00:09:18,508
I will not. Perfect.
257
00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:21,178
I will not. I…will not.
258
00:09:21,262 --> 00:09:23,347
I will…not.
259
00:09:25,891 --> 00:09:27,041
Have a seat, Detective.
260
00:09:27,142 --> 00:09:28,143
I will not.
261
00:09:28,227 --> 00:09:30,229
Excuse me? Uh, sorry.
262
00:09:30,479 --> 00:09:33,481
I meant, out of respect,
I will choose to stand.
263
00:09:33,565 --> 00:09:35,692
Sit, I will not.
264
00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:36,818
[SIGHING]
265
00:09:36,902 --> 00:09:40,030
This looks like it was filled
out by a toddler. Mmm-hmm.
266
00:09:40,114 --> 00:09:43,366
Now, we're going to have to
go through this point by point.
267
00:09:43,450 --> 00:09:45,702
Justice cannot be rushed.
268
00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:49,039
But could it be gently
nudged into hyper speed?
269
00:09:49,123 --> 00:09:50,749
I take it you're the toddler.
270
00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:51,957
-Mmm.
-[PHONE RINGING]
271
00:09:52,041 --> 00:09:53,441
Excuse me a moment. Mmm-hmm.
272
00:09:54,377 --> 00:09:55,502
This is going terribly.
273
00:09:55,586 --> 00:09:56,796
New plan.
274
00:09:57,922 --> 00:09:58,923
I'm gonna charm her.
275
00:10:01,175 --> 00:10:02,343
Oh, no.
276
00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:03,927
I'm sorry. I had to take that.
277
00:10:04,178 --> 00:10:06,180
You gotta do what you gotta do.
278
00:10:06,389 --> 00:10:08,182
Captain Raymond Holt.
279
00:10:09,058 --> 00:10:10,059
What's up?
280
00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:17,149
You wanted to see me, Sarge?
281
00:10:17,233 --> 00:10:18,433
Yeah. Come on in, Boyle.
282
00:10:19,485 --> 00:10:21,362
Sorry to hear about your hand. Thanks.
283
00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:23,896
It makes it really hard to
manipulate my egg sack.
284
00:10:24,198 --> 00:10:26,115
Look. Here's the deal.
285
00:10:26,199 --> 00:10:28,159
I did my junior year abroad in Tokyo,
286
00:10:28,243 --> 00:10:30,119
and my girlfriend, Chiaki…
287
00:10:30,203 --> 00:10:31,288
She broke my heart.
288
00:10:31,621 --> 00:10:33,582
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]
289
00:10:44,092 --> 00:10:46,595
I stared at the paper walls for weeks.
290
00:10:46,845 --> 00:10:49,848
Until my roommate showed
me how to vent my feelings.
291
00:10:52,684 --> 00:10:53,685
Oh.
292
00:10:53,769 --> 00:10:55,645
Take a plate and smash it.
293
00:10:55,729 --> 00:10:56,730
Yeah.
294
00:10:57,230 --> 00:10:58,398
-Oh!
-[BOTH LAUGHING]
295
00:10:59,231 --> 00:11:00,357
Feels good! Yeah!
296
00:11:00,441 --> 00:11:02,317
All right. Your turn, Boyle. Okay.
297
00:11:02,401 --> 00:11:03,527
Vent those feelings. Okay.
298
00:11:03,611 --> 00:11:05,321
Here we go, Sarge. Yeah.
299
00:11:06,030 --> 00:11:07,073
Ah!
300
00:11:07,573 --> 00:11:09,408
Oh, my testicles!
301
00:11:10,951 --> 00:11:12,911
We've got a warrant,
but now we need a plan.
302
00:11:12,995 --> 00:11:14,788
We can't just go in
there in our uniforms.
303
00:11:14,872 --> 00:11:17,457
They'll destroy the evidence before
we even walk through the door.
304
00:11:17,541 --> 00:11:19,251
Good point, Captain Holt.
305
00:11:19,335 --> 00:11:22,797
Or should I say "Captain
Raymond Sex Vibes"?
306
00:11:23,089 --> 00:11:24,548
Who knew you had such game?
307
00:11:24,632 --> 00:11:27,551
Yes, I've found that many
women want what they can't have.
308
00:11:27,927 --> 00:11:29,595
I get it. Ew!
309
00:11:30,346 --> 00:11:32,138
PERALTA: What the hell is going on?
310
00:11:32,222 --> 00:11:34,473
According to the
community center calendar,
311
00:11:34,557 --> 00:11:36,407
amateur ballroom dancing competition.
312
00:11:36,684 --> 00:11:37,977
Ah, okay.
313
00:11:39,354 --> 00:11:40,954
I know how we're gonna blend in.
314
00:11:41,106 --> 00:11:43,400
Don't say "thrift store." Thrift store!
315
00:11:45,151 --> 00:11:47,070
[FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING]
316
00:11:52,075 --> 00:11:55,077
♪ I want to thank you ♪
317
00:11:55,161 --> 00:11:59,582
♪ For lettin' me be myself again ♪
318
00:12:03,420 --> 00:12:05,755
♪ Thank you for let… ♪ [MUSIC STOPS]
319
00:12:05,839 --> 00:12:07,380
Jake, the overwhelming time pressure.
320
00:12:07,464 --> 00:12:08,841
Yep. [SIGHS]
321
00:12:11,802 --> 00:12:14,179
All right, Isaac said the
account book was in room 265.
322
00:12:14,263 --> 00:12:15,472
It's gotta be upstairs.
323
00:12:15,556 --> 00:12:16,890
Let's head up.
324
00:12:16,974 --> 00:12:18,641
Hey. Where you going?
325
00:12:18,725 --> 00:12:20,143
To the dance contest.
326
00:12:20,227 --> 00:12:22,896
I am nationally recognized
Foxtrotter, Dave Blathis,
327
00:12:22,980 --> 00:12:24,856
and these are my protégés,
328
00:12:24,940 --> 00:12:27,776
Rhonda Shawarma and Hank Frankel.
329
00:12:27,860 --> 00:12:29,152
I don't care who you are.
330
00:12:29,236 --> 00:12:30,820
Upstairs is closed to the public.
331
00:12:30,904 --> 00:12:34,908
Fine, but we didn't have to endure
this crap when we danced in Barcelona.
332
00:12:36,660 --> 00:12:38,328
[SIGHS] The hearing's
starting any second.
333
00:12:38,412 --> 00:12:40,496
There might be another
staircase off the dance floor.
334
00:12:40,580 --> 00:12:42,164
I'll sign us up for the contest.
Good idea.
335
00:12:42,248 --> 00:12:43,582
Oh, and Amy. Hmm?
336
00:12:43,666 --> 00:12:45,716
Your dress makes you look like a mermaid.
337
00:12:47,420 --> 00:12:49,170
Okay, I'll see you in a little bit.
338
00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:52,299
I know we're all concerned about Boyle.
339
00:12:52,383 --> 00:12:55,219
But, again, there is a solution.
340
00:12:55,553 --> 00:12:58,055
Forget your ex with meaningless sex.
341
00:12:58,598 --> 00:13:00,182
It rhymes because it's true.
342
00:13:00,266 --> 00:13:01,683
JEFFORDS: All right, everyone.
343
00:13:01,767 --> 00:13:03,727
Peralta needs us to stall.
344
00:13:03,811 --> 00:13:05,688
So, just keep your answers long.
345
00:13:05,813 --> 00:13:06,814
Add stuff.
346
00:13:06,898 --> 00:13:08,399
Embellish your asses off.
347
00:13:08,483 --> 00:13:09,567
Boyle, you're first.
348
00:13:09,734 --> 00:13:11,736
I don't know if I'm up for this.
349
00:13:12,111 --> 00:13:14,738
I'm so emotional, I
can barely think straight.
350
00:13:14,905 --> 00:13:16,697
Great. Use that.
351
00:13:16,781 --> 00:13:17,949
Embrace the void.
352
00:13:18,033 --> 00:13:19,867
Would you say Detective Peralta
353
00:13:19,951 --> 00:13:22,078
was overly interested in the Wint case?
354
00:13:22,162 --> 00:13:25,498
I only heard Detective Peralta
talk about Lucas Wint once.
355
00:13:25,582 --> 00:13:26,708
We were in my car.
356
00:13:26,958 --> 00:13:30,295
I took Vivian on our
first real date in that car.
357
00:13:30,837 --> 00:13:32,589
Vivian is my fiancée.
358
00:13:33,215 --> 00:13:34,883
My ex-fiancée.
359
00:13:36,468 --> 00:13:37,468
My never-wife.
360
00:13:37,552 --> 00:13:39,554
Detective Boyle, if you could
361
00:13:39,638 --> 00:13:41,973
please limit your comments
to the matter at hand.
362
00:13:42,057 --> 00:13:44,601
I will.
I'd just like the record to reflect
363
00:13:44,726 --> 00:13:47,978
that "matter at hand" was one
of Vivian's favorite expressions.
364
00:13:48,062 --> 00:13:49,412
[LATIN DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
365
00:13:50,147 --> 00:13:51,447
We should try to blend in.
366
00:13:51,565 --> 00:13:53,150
Stretch your leg up over your head.
367
00:13:53,234 --> 00:13:55,444
What?
You stretch your leg up over your head.
368
00:13:55,528 --> 00:13:56,820
You think I wouldn't if I could?
369
00:13:56,904 --> 00:13:57,946
[SIGHS] Oh.
370
00:13:58,030 --> 00:14:00,616
Looks like the Captain found a partner.
371
00:14:01,158 --> 00:14:02,325
PERALTA: Good Lord.
372
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:05,454
Okay. We begin with a free-dance period
373
00:14:05,538 --> 00:14:08,206
to the spicy sounds of rumba.
374
00:14:08,290 --> 00:14:09,291
[RUMBA MUSIC PLAYING]
375
00:14:09,375 --> 00:14:11,752
All right. The linoleum awaits, my dear.
376
00:14:12,753 --> 00:14:14,087
Oh, boy.
377
00:14:14,171 --> 00:14:15,297
I know we're undercover,
378
00:14:15,381 --> 00:14:17,466
but I'm starting to get real
nervous about this contest.
379
00:14:17,550 --> 00:14:18,925
You need to see a therapist.
380
00:14:19,009 --> 00:14:20,635
Yeah. Let's dance this way.
381
00:14:20,719 --> 00:14:22,554
Okay. Ow!
382
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:25,473
How did you manage to step on
both of my feet at the same time?
383
00:14:25,557 --> 00:14:29,768
I'm horrible at this.
When can we stop? I know, I know.
384
00:14:29,852 --> 00:14:31,270
Title of my sex tape.
385
00:14:31,354 --> 00:14:32,563
Yeah, well done.
386
00:14:32,647 --> 00:14:34,398
Title of my sex tape.
387
00:14:34,482 --> 00:14:36,234
Oh, my God. The Captain.
388
00:14:36,693 --> 00:14:38,652
He could really win this thing.
389
00:14:38,736 --> 00:14:40,404
How did you get so amazing at dancing?
390
00:14:40,488 --> 00:14:41,906
Jake, focus.
391
00:14:41,990 --> 00:14:43,491
I found a back stairway over here.
392
00:14:43,575 --> 00:14:44,867
And spin.
393
00:14:45,910 --> 00:14:47,245
Who is he?
394
00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:49,997
As far as I can recall,
Detective Peralta told me that…
395
00:14:50,081 --> 00:14:51,666
[CLEARS THROAT]
396
00:14:54,210 --> 00:14:55,419
That…
397
00:14:57,504 --> 00:14:58,505
He…
398
00:14:58,589 --> 00:15:01,591
No, I never heard Jake talk about Wint.
399
00:15:01,675 --> 00:15:03,635
And the very fact that
you have him on trial
400
00:15:03,719 --> 00:15:05,470
is cat doing "Home Alone" face.
401
00:15:05,762 --> 00:15:08,515
Of… Look, I've known Jake forever.
402
00:15:08,599 --> 00:15:11,476
Our friendship is little
boy holding little girl's hand.
403
00:15:12,894 --> 00:15:13,937
[LATIN MUSIC PLAYING]
404
00:15:14,021 --> 00:15:16,732
God.
That guard by the door will not move.
405
00:15:17,357 --> 00:15:19,484
Uh-oh. He just made eye contact with me.
406
00:15:19,568 --> 00:15:22,278
Play it cool. Dance, dance, dance, dance.
407
00:15:22,362 --> 00:15:23,530
You don't have to say "dance"
408
00:15:23,614 --> 00:15:24,964
every time you make a step.
409
00:15:25,073 --> 00:15:26,115
Good call.
410
00:15:26,199 --> 00:15:28,784
Hey, do you want me to
actually show you how to do this
411
00:15:28,868 --> 00:15:31,286
so you don't hurt yourself
and possibly others?
412
00:15:31,370 --> 00:15:32,371
Yes. Okay.
413
00:15:32,455 --> 00:15:34,373
-[CLEARS THROAT] Ready?
-Mmm-hmm.
414
00:15:39,211 --> 00:15:41,130
This is kinda fun. Yeah.
415
00:15:42,048 --> 00:15:43,948
Maybe Teddy and I should take a class.
416
00:15:44,717 --> 00:15:46,552
Yeah. Maybe.
417
00:15:48,220 --> 00:15:49,888
Guys, we're running out of time.
What's the plan?
418
00:15:49,972 --> 00:15:51,348
That guard won't move.
419
00:15:51,432 --> 00:15:53,517
We need a distraction. I'm on it.
420
00:15:54,018 --> 00:15:55,561
Dance, dance, dance. Dance.
421
00:15:55,645 --> 00:15:57,354
Oh, God! Oh!
422
00:15:57,438 --> 00:15:59,481
My ankle! Sir, my ankle!
423
00:15:59,565 --> 00:16:01,316
Oh! I heard a pop! I heard a pop!
424
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:02,900
Is that bad? Do you know if that's bad?
425
00:16:02,984 --> 00:16:05,695
Oh, God! Oh, I live to dance!
426
00:16:05,779 --> 00:16:07,072
[SOBBING]
427
00:16:10,325 --> 00:16:12,577
Ah. Voilà.
428
00:16:13,370 --> 00:16:15,204
So glad no one heard me say that.
429
00:16:15,288 --> 00:16:16,956
-[CAMERA CLICKING]
-Gotcha.
430
00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:19,750
Ah, this is incredible.
431
00:16:19,834 --> 00:16:21,127
The account books have everything.
432
00:16:21,211 --> 00:16:22,878
-Dates, names, dollar amounts.
-HOLT: All right.
433
00:16:22,962 --> 00:16:25,089
I can't wait to show this to Podolski.
434
00:16:25,173 --> 00:16:28,467
I should probably slip in a Miley
Cyrus "told you so" face real quick.
435
00:16:28,551 --> 00:16:29,969
-[CAMERA CLICKING]
-It's hard to do on the move.
436
00:16:30,053 --> 00:16:31,054
Peralta, wait.
437
00:16:31,721 --> 00:16:33,223
Santiago, give us a minute.
438
00:16:34,307 --> 00:16:36,182
Sir? I need you to do something.
439
00:16:36,266 --> 00:16:38,310
And it's gonna sound
crazy, but it's important.
440
00:16:38,394 --> 00:16:39,744
And I need you to trust me.
441
00:16:41,689 --> 00:16:43,398
So, Detective Peralta,
442
00:16:43,482 --> 00:16:46,735
do you have any evidence you'd
like to present on your behalf?
443
00:16:47,069 --> 00:16:48,070
No.
444
00:16:48,737 --> 00:16:49,780
I have nothing.
445
00:16:54,410 --> 00:16:56,244
Jake, what happened?
446
00:16:56,328 --> 00:16:57,912
Did Holt ask you to get suspended?
447
00:16:57,996 --> 00:16:59,623
No. He told me to get fired.
448
00:16:59,707 --> 00:17:01,249
Why? I don't know.
449
00:17:01,333 --> 00:17:02,334
I'm kind of freaking out.
450
00:17:02,418 --> 00:17:04,794
He said to do it. And the next
thing I knew, I was just yelling.
451
00:17:04,878 --> 00:17:08,006
And your mother! All your mothers.
452
00:17:08,090 --> 00:17:09,507
And your grandmothers.
453
00:17:09,591 --> 00:17:12,051
And your grandmothers' little dogs.
454
00:17:12,135 --> 00:17:13,552
Are you done? No, I'm not done!
455
00:17:13,636 --> 00:17:15,888
Oh, you're done! You can't handle the me!
456
00:17:16,305 --> 00:17:17,605
-Oh, my God.
-HOLT: Peralta.
457
00:17:17,807 --> 00:17:19,141
Hey. What's going on?
458
00:17:19,225 --> 00:17:21,977
This is Special Agent Clarke with the FBI.
FBI?
459
00:17:22,061 --> 00:17:23,896
We couldn't let you expose Lucas Wint.
460
00:17:23,980 --> 00:17:26,982
It would've compromised a much
larger ongoing federal investigation.
461
00:17:27,066 --> 00:17:29,943
We believe that Wint has
ties to the Ianucci crime family.
462
00:17:30,027 --> 00:17:31,654
[WHISPERING] That's one
of the best crime families.
463
00:17:31,738 --> 00:17:33,364
We needed you to get fired for real
464
00:17:33,448 --> 00:17:35,867
because the Ianuccis have
moles inside the NYPD.
465
00:17:36,033 --> 00:17:37,368
And we need them to trust you.
466
00:17:37,452 --> 00:17:38,994
Detective, we'd like you to go undercover
467
00:17:39,078 --> 00:17:40,412
and help us with the investigation.
468
00:17:40,496 --> 00:17:41,789
Okay. The answer is yes.
469
00:17:41,873 --> 00:17:44,207
The details are… My name is Duncan Buck.
470
00:17:44,291 --> 00:17:47,293
I was raised on an oil rig
by 90 men and one prostitute.
471
00:17:47,377 --> 00:17:48,503
We'd like you to be yourself.
472
00:17:48,587 --> 00:17:50,797
Even better.
This could be very dangerous.
473
00:17:50,881 --> 00:17:53,466
So, please, take some time and..
. No need. I'm in.
474
00:17:53,550 --> 00:17:55,350
Eyes closed, head first, can't lose.
475
00:17:55,635 --> 00:17:56,969
I don't think that's the expression.
476
00:17:57,053 --> 00:17:58,764
Can you just let me have this?
477
00:18:00,474 --> 00:18:02,850
What I'm about to tell
you cannot leave this room.
478
00:18:02,934 --> 00:18:04,060
Detective Peralta will be going
479
00:18:04,144 --> 00:18:06,145
in an undercover assignment with the FBI.
480
00:18:06,229 --> 00:18:07,605
His cover story is that he was fired.
481
00:18:07,689 --> 00:18:09,399
Oh, my God. My heart just threw up.
482
00:18:09,483 --> 00:18:11,984
Look, they're saying this
assignment will last about six months.
483
00:18:12,068 --> 00:18:14,946
So, while I'm gone, Boyle,
I want you to have my desk.
484
00:18:15,030 --> 00:18:16,364
I'll sit at it always.
485
00:18:16,448 --> 00:18:19,241
Rosa, you can have my locker. Sweet.
486
00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:21,702
Amy, you can have all of my open cases.
487
00:18:21,786 --> 00:18:22,786
HOLT: Okay, that's enough.
488
00:18:22,870 --> 00:18:25,372
Peralta doesn't have the
authority to do any of this.
489
00:18:25,456 --> 00:18:27,124
You will all sit at your own desk
490
00:18:27,208 --> 00:18:29,042
and work the cases I assign you.
491
00:18:29,126 --> 00:18:31,378
But you will be missed.
492
00:18:32,630 --> 00:18:33,631
Thank you, Captain.
493
00:18:33,881 --> 00:18:36,217
Thank you for trusting me.
494
00:18:37,885 --> 00:18:39,970
Okay. Now, call us all
names and storm out of here,
495
00:18:40,054 --> 00:18:41,471
for the benefit of the bullpen.
496
00:18:41,555 --> 00:18:42,973
[SIGHS] This is the best day ever.
497
00:18:43,057 --> 00:18:44,642
[CLEARS THROAT]
498
00:18:44,934 --> 00:18:46,560
I'll miss you guys.
499
00:18:46,644 --> 00:18:50,189
And your mother!
500
00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:52,232
You're all a bunch of pigs!
501
00:18:52,524 --> 00:18:55,068
I smell bacon!
502
00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:57,654
And guess what else, Captain.
503
00:18:58,112 --> 00:18:59,363
You can take this tie
504
00:18:59,447 --> 00:19:02,491
and shove it straight
into your hell-hole.
505
00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:05,203
This whole place reeks of bacon.
506
00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:06,912
And guess what?
507
00:19:06,996 --> 00:19:10,625
I'm going kosher.
Because "Jakey" don't dig on swine!
508
00:19:11,668 --> 00:19:12,669
Whoo!
509
00:19:13,127 --> 00:19:15,177
All right, everyone.
I wanna make a toast.
510
00:19:15,630 --> 00:19:16,964
To you guys.
511
00:19:17,048 --> 00:19:20,009
You'll never be Jake or
Vivian, but at least you're here.
512
00:19:20,093 --> 00:19:21,677
Ugh. I'm going to go over by the bar,
513
00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:23,179
where I can hear you worse.
514
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:26,431
Oh, I get it.
I'd abandon me, too. That's it.
515
00:19:26,515 --> 00:19:27,557
Boyle, no more eggs.
516
00:19:27,641 --> 00:19:28,975
You're drinking your troubles away.
517
00:19:29,059 --> 00:19:30,310
Start with this.
518
00:19:30,394 --> 00:19:32,145
I'm gonna get some bottles from the bar.
519
00:19:32,229 --> 00:19:35,983
Make way! Large man helping
his little friend, coming through!
520
00:19:37,442 --> 00:19:39,861
You're so lucky you've never
been through a painful breakup.
521
00:19:39,945 --> 00:19:40,987
The only reason they haven't been painful
522
00:19:41,071 --> 00:19:43,240
is 'cause the guys were all losers.
523
00:19:44,074 --> 00:19:45,366
I've never dated anyone good.
524
00:19:45,450 --> 00:19:46,535
Hmm.
525
00:19:47,452 --> 00:19:48,745
Like you.
526
00:19:50,539 --> 00:19:51,832
[GLASSES CLINKING]
527
00:19:55,085 --> 00:19:56,211
Amy?
528
00:19:56,670 --> 00:19:57,837
Hey. I thought I missed you.
529
00:19:57,921 --> 00:20:00,297
Hey, Jake. Amazing assignment.
530
00:20:00,381 --> 00:20:03,009
I have to admit I'm a little jealous.
531
00:20:03,217 --> 00:20:04,635
Really? Mmm-hmm.
532
00:20:04,719 --> 00:20:05,886
Well, if you want, I
could help you get fired.
533
00:20:05,970 --> 00:20:07,763
I'm really good at it. [LAUGHING]
534
00:20:07,847 --> 00:20:09,139
Yeah.
535
00:20:09,223 --> 00:20:10,892
This is real. This is happening.
536
00:20:11,267 --> 00:20:12,976
Look, um… [LAUGHING NERVOUSLY]
537
00:20:13,060 --> 00:20:14,603
I don't wanna be a jerk.
538
00:20:14,687 --> 00:20:18,733
I know you're dating Teddy
and it's going really well.
539
00:20:18,858 --> 00:20:20,902
It's just… What's going on?
540
00:20:21,444 --> 00:20:22,653
[SIGHING]
541
00:20:22,737 --> 00:20:24,321
I don't know what's gonna
happen on this assignment.
542
00:20:24,405 --> 00:20:26,073
And if something bad goes down,
543
00:20:26,157 --> 00:20:28,757
I think I'd be pissed at
myself if I didn't say this.
544
00:20:28,951 --> 00:20:30,118
[SIGHING]
545
00:20:30,202 --> 00:20:36,041
I kinda wish something could
happen between us, romantic-styles.
546
00:20:37,042 --> 00:20:39,627
And I know it can't, because you're
with Teddy and I'm going undercover.
547
00:20:39,711 --> 00:20:42,839
And that's just how it is.
548
00:20:42,923 --> 00:20:45,216
-But…
-[POLICE RADIO CHATTER]
549
00:20:47,719 --> 00:20:51,597
Anyway. We're not supposed to
have any contact. So, I should go.
550
00:20:51,681 --> 00:20:53,224
America needs me.
551
00:20:53,558 --> 00:20:54,559
Bye.
552
00:20:58,229 --> 00:21:00,481
And another round for everyone on me!
553
00:21:00,565 --> 00:21:01,649
Thanks, buddy.
554
00:21:01,733 --> 00:21:04,485
What's the occasion? Oh, I'm celebrating.
555
00:21:04,569 --> 00:21:08,530
My name is Jake Peralta and
I just got fired from the NYPD.
556
00:21:10,824 --> 00:21:12,493
I'm Leo. Ianucci.
557
00:21:14,787 --> 00:21:16,205
Nice to meet you.
558
00:21:30,219 --> 00:21:31,762
[BOTH SCREAMING]