1
00:00:05,553 --> 00:00:07,804
All right.
You take the skinny one on the right,
2
00:00:07,888 --> 00:00:09,681
and I'll take the big one on the left.
3
00:00:09,765 --> 00:00:11,851
NYPD. Santa, stop hitting Santa!
4
00:00:13,227 --> 00:00:14,228
What's going on here?
5
00:00:14,312 --> 00:00:17,105
I've been on this corner for six years.
Suddenly this guy shows up.
6
00:00:17,189 --> 00:00:18,898
BIG SANTA: You don't own this corner.
I got a charity, too.
7
00:00:18,982 --> 00:00:21,317
Canine diabetes.
Who cares about fat dogs?
8
00:00:21,401 --> 00:00:23,236
Hey, they can't give themselves shots!
They got paws!
9
00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:24,404
Calm down. Calm down.
10
00:00:24,863 --> 00:00:26,239
Boyle, frisk the skinny one.
11
00:00:26,323 --> 00:00:27,573
I've gone 42 years
without a lump of coal.
12
00:00:27,657 --> 00:00:29,007
I'm not going to start now.
13
00:00:29,284 --> 00:00:30,285
Are you kidding me?
14
00:00:30,827 --> 00:00:32,527
All right, fine. Come here, buddy.
15
00:00:32,829 --> 00:00:33,830
[ALL GRUNTING]
16
00:00:38,501 --> 00:00:40,044
Hit him in his fat, cherry cheeks!
17
00:00:40,128 --> 00:00:41,128
[PEOPLE GASPING]
18
00:00:41,212 --> 00:00:42,339
Oh, that felt wrong.
19
00:00:43,381 --> 00:00:45,181
Knife. Skinny Santa has got a knife!
20
00:00:45,425 --> 00:00:46,426
[GROANS]
21
00:00:46,676 --> 00:00:49,526
That's right! Boom!
I just kicked Santa in the testicles.
22
00:00:54,017 --> 00:00:55,059
Merry Christmas.
23
00:00:55,684 --> 00:00:57,686
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
24
00:01:16,455 --> 00:01:18,415
Looking good. Happy Hanukkah.
25
00:01:18,874 --> 00:01:20,751
You look happy. Let me guess.
26
00:01:21,085 --> 00:01:22,085
Your egg sandwich fell on the floor,
27
00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:23,378
and they gave it to you for free.
28
00:01:23,462 --> 00:01:24,796
No. Can you do that?
29
00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:25,880
Why doesn't everyone just drop
30
00:01:25,964 --> 00:01:27,007
their sandwiches on the floor?
31
00:01:27,091 --> 00:01:28,675
[SIGHS] I was trying to insult you.
32
00:01:28,759 --> 00:01:31,009
And instead, you gave
me an amazing life hack.
33
00:01:32,220 --> 00:01:34,888
Oh, Amy. You shouldn't have.
34
00:01:34,972 --> 00:01:37,016
But this is embarrassing.
I didn't get you a present.
35
00:01:37,100 --> 00:01:38,934
The gift is for Captain Holt.
36
00:01:39,018 --> 00:01:40,269
It's one of six presents I got him,
37
00:01:40,353 --> 00:01:42,753
representing the six
lessons that he's taught me.
38
00:01:43,314 --> 00:01:46,025
Determination, wisdom, posture…
39
00:01:46,109 --> 00:01:47,151
Excuse me, everyone.
40
00:01:47,235 --> 00:01:49,445
As you may know, this
is the holiday season.
41
00:01:49,821 --> 00:01:51,238
Detectives sometimes feel the urge
42
00:01:51,322 --> 00:01:53,366
to buy their captains holiday presents.
43
00:01:53,700 --> 00:01:55,159
Please refrain from doing so.
44
00:01:55,451 --> 00:01:58,746
Under no circumstances
do I want a present.
45
00:01:59,831 --> 00:02:01,374
Peralta, my office.
46
00:02:01,624 --> 00:02:02,750
Roger that.
47
00:02:02,834 --> 00:02:04,585
Oh, my God.
I have to return so many items.
48
00:02:04,669 --> 00:02:06,170
[WHISPERS] I know. Shut up.
49
00:02:07,046 --> 00:02:08,171
HOLT: Thank you for joining us, Peralta.
50
00:02:08,255 --> 00:02:09,655
This is Deputy Chief Gerber.
51
00:02:09,756 --> 00:02:11,106
Ah. Merry Christmas, Chief.
52
00:02:11,508 --> 00:02:13,593
And a very Merry
Christmas to you, Captain.
53
00:02:13,677 --> 00:02:15,095
Ho-ho-ho!
54
00:02:15,470 --> 00:02:17,889
Captain Holt has received
a number of death threats.
55
00:02:17,973 --> 00:02:20,934
Oh. I really came in here
with the wrong energy.
56
00:02:21,518 --> 00:02:24,896
Captains receive meaningless threats
all the time. It's really no big deal.
57
00:02:24,980 --> 00:02:27,607
Of course, totally. I mean, why
would a death threat be a big deal?
58
00:02:27,691 --> 00:02:29,525
Oh, that's right, because
it threatens death.
59
00:02:29,609 --> 00:02:30,652
It's a hoax.
60
00:02:30,819 --> 00:02:32,236
I didn't want to alarm the squad,
61
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,920
so please, keep this between us.
62
00:02:34,156 --> 00:02:35,824
Awesome. I'm great at secrets.
63
00:02:36,992 --> 00:02:38,576
Santiago got you, like, six presents.
64
00:02:38,660 --> 00:02:39,810
Well, it may be a hoax,
65
00:02:39,995 --> 00:02:42,139
but protocol dictates
that Captain Holt have
66
00:02:42,223 --> 00:02:44,248
a security detail with him at all times.
67
00:02:44,707 --> 00:02:46,407
He has chosen you for that detail.
68
00:02:46,584 --> 00:02:49,295
Interesting. And not at all surprising.
69
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:52,214
I'm his favorite. Tell me.
What would this job entail?
70
00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:53,423
You'll be assigned to Captain Holt.
71
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,676
Uh-huh. You'll be entirely
in control of his movements.
72
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:57,969
Amazing. He will not leave your sight.
73
00:02:58,053 --> 00:03:00,681
You have the authority to
make decisions that you feel
74
00:03:00,765 --> 00:03:02,224
are in the best interest of his safety.
75
00:03:02,308 --> 00:03:04,935
Oh, my God.
Basically, you'll be completely in charge.
76
00:03:05,019 --> 00:03:07,521
Oh, well, it sounds really tough.
But of course I accept.
77
00:03:07,605 --> 00:03:10,232
And I will be willing to put
my life at risk for this man.
78
00:03:10,316 --> 00:03:11,525
To have to follow all of my orders.
79
00:03:11,609 --> 00:03:14,959
Thank you. This is the best Christmas
ever. God bless us, every one!
80
00:03:16,322 --> 00:03:19,074
Hey, my flight is at 8:00 tonight.
It's domestic.
81
00:03:19,325 --> 00:03:22,076
Do you think I'll be safe if I get
to the airport five hours early?
82
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,288
Five? No way. You've got to do seven.
Seven minimum.
83
00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:26,563
Seven. I knew it. Yeah.
84
00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:29,667
Why are you going on a singles cruise?
I thought you were into Rosa.
85
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:31,794
Well, I am. But I've begun to feel like
86
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:34,839
there is a slight chance
Rosa may not love me back.
87
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:38,008
Hey, how about we grab some
dinner tonight? Just you and me.
88
00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:39,969
That's nice. And I like you as a person.
89
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,931
But I'm just not interested
in you romantically.
90
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,265
Coolio.
91
00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,058
Hey, what say you we grab a drink?
92
00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:47,560
You're starting to make this weird.
93
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:50,146
I'm not into you that way,
and I have a boyfriend.
94
00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:51,606
Got you. Rain check.
95
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:54,150
A rose for Rosa.
96
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:58,237
Listen to me. The healthy
thing for you to do is move on.
97
00:03:58,737 --> 00:04:00,363
So, we've both decided
98
00:04:00,447 --> 00:04:03,450
the healthy thing for me
to do is to just move on.
99
00:04:03,534 --> 00:04:05,618
I'm impressed, Charles.
That's very mature.
100
00:04:05,702 --> 00:04:07,579
Thanks. You know, it's funny.
I realized I sometimes…
101
00:04:07,663 --> 00:04:11,208
Oh, no, don't get comfy.
This wasn't an invitation to keep talking.
102
00:04:11,458 --> 00:04:12,625
Got you. Rain check on the convo.
103
00:04:12,709 --> 00:04:13,859
Yeah. Sure, sure, sure.
104
00:04:13,961 --> 00:04:16,421
Peralta's busy, so
let's just get started.
105
00:04:16,505 --> 00:04:18,465
Now, the Captain won't
allow us to give him
106
00:04:18,549 --> 00:04:19,883
all the presents we bought him.
107
00:04:19,967 --> 00:04:21,718
You are the only one that did that.
108
00:04:21,802 --> 00:04:26,014
But, we can make him the
greatest Christmas card of all time.
109
00:04:26,098 --> 00:04:27,932
We're gonna wear Santa
hats and big sweaters,
110
00:04:28,016 --> 00:04:29,768
and take a picture
of us all in a line-up.
111
00:04:29,852 --> 00:04:32,145
I'm sorry, Santiago, but
I don't have time for that.
112
00:04:32,229 --> 00:04:33,729
My psych evaluation is today.
113
00:04:34,105 --> 00:04:36,148
They're gonna decide if I'm
ready to make it back on the streets.
114
00:04:36,232 --> 00:04:37,399
Why do you care what they think?
115
00:04:37,483 --> 00:04:40,903
Psychologists are just people who
weren't smart enough to be psychics.
116
00:04:40,987 --> 00:04:43,237
Don't worry, Sergeant.
We'll add you in later.
117
00:04:45,157 --> 00:04:48,703
Sorry. I got to go, too.
My flight is in, ugh, eight hours.
118
00:04:48,911 --> 00:04:50,537
I can make it.
I'll buy a sandwich on the plane.
119
00:04:50,621 --> 00:04:51,664
What? Boyle.
120
00:04:51,873 --> 00:04:54,374
So, if Peralta, Boyle,
and the Sergeant are out…
121
00:04:54,458 --> 00:04:56,377
Fine. Everyone just go. Yeah.
122
00:04:58,504 --> 00:05:01,090
I could take a pic of
myself dressed up as an elf.
123
00:05:01,757 --> 00:05:02,842
Elfie-selfie.
124
00:05:03,551 --> 00:05:06,701
Not that. But I think there is
something you could help me with.
125
00:05:10,307 --> 00:05:11,724
Are you gonna sit there all day?
126
00:05:11,808 --> 00:05:13,226
Affirmative, Stone Eagle.
127
00:05:13,768 --> 00:05:16,018
That's the Secret Service
codename I gave you.
128
00:05:16,146 --> 00:05:17,522
Just sitting here, doing my job.
129
00:05:17,606 --> 00:05:19,440
Watching, protecting, bossing you around.
130
00:05:19,524 --> 00:05:22,026
Now, for your safety, if you could
open up your Internet browser
131
00:05:22,110 --> 00:05:25,460
and search for the words "pigs"
and "jet skis." And that's an order.
132
00:05:25,614 --> 00:05:27,824
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where are you going, Cold Mountain?
133
00:05:27,908 --> 00:05:28,908
I changed your codename.
134
00:05:28,992 --> 00:05:29,992
To use the restroom.
135
00:05:30,076 --> 00:05:31,926
I'm only asking this for your safety.
136
00:05:32,245 --> 00:05:33,995
Is it a number one or a number two?
137
00:05:35,081 --> 00:05:36,958
Your silence indicates number two.
138
00:05:37,417 --> 00:05:38,467
Let me do some recon.
139
00:05:43,256 --> 00:05:45,842
It's all clear, sir.
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go,
140
00:05:45,926 --> 00:05:50,387
go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
141
00:05:51,931 --> 00:05:55,681
Cold Mountain is on the move. I repeat,
Cold Mountain is rolling to the can.
142
00:05:56,644 --> 00:05:59,187
Sergeant Jeffords, thank
you for coming in today.
143
00:05:59,271 --> 00:06:02,524
We are here to assess
your readiness for active duty.
144
00:06:02,858 --> 00:06:06,403
And if all goes well, I will
stamp this release form,
145
00:06:06,779 --> 00:06:08,154
you can go back in the field.
146
00:06:08,238 --> 00:06:09,438
Well, I think I'm ready.
147
00:06:09,907 --> 00:06:12,076
I am no longer fixating on my fears.
148
00:06:12,660 --> 00:06:16,372
Good. But for today,
let's fixate on those fears.
149
00:06:17,748 --> 00:06:20,918
Okay. Uh… That sounds fun.
150
00:06:21,293 --> 00:06:26,046
Let's begin by talking about your
baby girls and your wife, and, uh,
151
00:06:26,130 --> 00:06:29,842
what would happen to them
if you died in the line of duty.
152
00:06:32,553 --> 00:06:33,763
I popped your pillow.
153
00:06:44,941 --> 00:06:47,191
Hey, Captain.
Where do you think you're going?
154
00:06:48,111 --> 00:06:49,862
I'm going home to work in peace.
155
00:06:50,113 --> 00:06:52,489
That's a negative, Ice Veins.
I changed your code name again.
156
00:06:52,573 --> 00:06:55,173
Do you know why I chose
you to be my security escort?
157
00:06:55,326 --> 00:06:56,827
Because I'm a modern day Sherlock Holmes?
158
00:06:56,911 --> 00:06:59,579
No. I chose you because
the threat is not real.
159
00:07:00,372 --> 00:07:02,874
And I thought you'd have
no problem breaking the rules
160
00:07:02,958 --> 00:07:05,627
and letting me get my work done.
Now, let me go.
161
00:07:06,044 --> 00:07:08,922
Well, you thought wrong.
You can't go home. It's protocol.
162
00:07:09,381 --> 00:07:12,717
But if you really want to get out of
here, you can come to my mom's.
163
00:07:12,801 --> 00:07:16,179
She lives nearby. Or I can lock you up
in the holding cell with an armed escort.
164
00:07:16,263 --> 00:07:17,347
Totally your call.
165
00:07:17,848 --> 00:07:20,017
Fine. We will go to your mother's house.
166
00:07:20,392 --> 00:07:23,937
I guess I am curious to see where..
. This all started.
167
00:07:24,187 --> 00:07:25,230
Shotgun.
168
00:07:27,524 --> 00:07:29,276
So, this is my mom's place.
169
00:07:29,526 --> 00:07:32,029
You can just throw
your jacket in the closet.
170
00:07:34,740 --> 00:07:37,575
That's a bathroom.
Water closet. My mom's British.
171
00:07:37,992 --> 00:07:38,993
Hmm.
172
00:07:39,410 --> 00:07:41,119
Why are there no photographs of you?
173
00:07:41,203 --> 00:07:46,541
No holiday decorations.
Nothing but motel art.
174
00:07:46,625 --> 00:07:47,626
Yeah.
175
00:07:49,420 --> 00:07:51,213
This isn't your mom's apartment.
176
00:07:51,297 --> 00:07:54,174
It's a safe house, son!
You've been protected.
177
00:07:54,258 --> 00:07:55,259
Don't say "son."
178
00:07:56,302 --> 00:07:57,427
Get out of my way.
179
00:07:57,511 --> 00:08:00,222
Look. You wouldn't stay at your desk,
and you evaded your protection detail.
180
00:08:00,306 --> 00:08:02,506
I'm sorry, but I've got
to order you to stay.
181
00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:03,850
I love giving you orders.
182
00:08:03,934 --> 00:08:06,395
The only way you're gonna keep
me here is if you physically stop me.
183
00:08:06,479 --> 00:08:08,313
Can you do that, Peralta? I don't know.
184
00:08:08,397 --> 00:08:09,607
I didn't think so.
185
00:08:11,567 --> 00:08:12,776
Jordan. Argh!
186
00:08:14,319 --> 00:08:17,447
Oh, no. We're handcuffed
together and we've lost the key.
187
00:08:17,739 --> 00:08:19,865
Falconer One to HQ.
Stone Eagle is in the cage.
188
00:08:19,949 --> 00:08:21,951
I repeat, Stone Eagle is in the cage.
189
00:08:26,998 --> 00:08:31,460
I told you the death
threat was not serious.
190
00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:33,880
So, what on earth are you doing?
191
00:08:34,130 --> 00:08:36,132
Look, I know you think
that I'm just goofing around.
192
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:38,927
But I got a direct order
from your boss to protect you.
193
00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:41,095
So, from this point
forward, we're on lockdown.
194
00:08:41,179 --> 00:08:43,597
Fine. But before we go into lockdown..
. Too late. You're on it.
195
00:08:43,681 --> 00:08:45,016
…I'd like to text my husband and tell him
196
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:46,142
I'll be coming home late tonight.
197
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:49,376
All right. But for security
reasons, I get to craft the message.
198
00:08:49,686 --> 00:08:52,939
Let's start with a pleasant greeting.
How about, "Hello, honey"?
199
00:08:53,023 --> 00:08:54,566
You will not craft the message.
200
00:08:54,650 --> 00:08:57,800
Okay, roger that. "Honey" is wrong.
How about, "Hello, husband"?
201
00:08:58,028 --> 00:09:00,071
"Hello, sir"? You call each other "sir"?
202
00:09:00,155 --> 00:09:01,156
Give me my phone.
203
00:09:01,865 --> 00:09:02,991
Fine.
204
00:09:04,409 --> 00:09:05,759
I'll give you some privacy.
205
00:09:08,956 --> 00:09:11,375
Maybe put Hitchcock's
head on top like an angel.
206
00:09:11,542 --> 00:09:12,835
Mmm. What, like that?
207
00:09:13,252 --> 00:09:14,837
No. Put it behind the tree.
208
00:09:16,130 --> 00:09:18,465
Thanks for helping me make this card.
You're so good at this stuff.
209
00:09:18,549 --> 00:09:20,717
I know. I'm good at everything.
210
00:09:21,218 --> 00:09:23,129
All right, so, here's all the pictures of
211
00:09:23,213 --> 00:09:25,305
Rosa that we have.
Which one should we use?
212
00:09:25,389 --> 00:09:28,641
Ugh, she never smiles.
Is her mouth broken?
213
00:09:29,183 --> 00:09:33,229
Well, what about if we flip those lips?
214
00:09:33,729 --> 00:09:36,065
Ooh. That's horrifying. Oh, God.
215
00:09:36,315 --> 00:09:38,067
We have to get a picture of Rosa smiling.
216
00:09:38,151 --> 00:09:39,651
Holt's card has to be perfect.
217
00:09:39,861 --> 00:09:41,904
Guys? I got this.
218
00:09:42,238 --> 00:09:44,907
I can make Rosa smile.
Just keep your cameras ready.
219
00:09:47,994 --> 00:09:49,078
Making coffee?
220
00:09:49,579 --> 00:09:53,332
Can you make another cup for
Señor Tickle and his nueve amigos?
221
00:09:53,416 --> 00:09:54,917
Tickle, tickle, tickle!
What the hell, Hitchcock?
222
00:09:55,001 --> 00:09:57,128
Ow! Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow.
223
00:09:57,587 --> 00:09:59,838
I think you sprained Señor Tickle.
224
00:09:59,922 --> 00:10:01,757
Next time, I break it off.
225
00:10:03,675 --> 00:10:04,676
[HITCHCOCK GROANING]
226
00:10:06,261 --> 00:10:09,138
All right. My safe house, my rules.
227
00:10:09,222 --> 00:10:11,099
This is a no tie zone.
228
00:10:13,268 --> 00:10:16,104
A hungry safe house
is an unsafe safe house.
229
00:10:17,647 --> 00:10:19,983
A fun safe house is a safe, safe house.
230
00:10:21,067 --> 00:10:22,110
My serve.
231
00:10:26,114 --> 00:10:27,448
I thought you said
you've never played this.
232
00:10:27,532 --> 00:10:28,575
It's very intuitive.
233
00:10:28,783 --> 00:10:30,183
Let's have another sandwich.
234
00:10:30,452 --> 00:10:33,788
A safe house watching Safe
House is a safe safe, house house.
235
00:10:34,414 --> 00:10:36,464
I've already seen the film. I enjoyed it.
236
00:10:36,583 --> 00:10:38,333
Wow. I would not have guessed that.
237
00:10:38,626 --> 00:10:39,918
You see? Those are the
kinds of things that you learn
238
00:10:40,002 --> 00:10:41,211
when you're handcuffed together.
239
00:10:41,295 --> 00:10:43,213
And that is the true
meaning of Christmas.
240
00:10:43,297 --> 00:10:44,381
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
241
00:10:44,590 --> 00:10:45,640
Who knows we're here?
242
00:10:46,383 --> 00:10:47,384
Get behind me.
243
00:10:48,093 --> 00:10:50,387
Don't. No. No. God, Holt, move over!
244
00:10:50,471 --> 00:10:51,721
Standard protocol suggests
245
00:10:51,805 --> 00:10:54,057
that you put me in another
room before you open the door.
246
00:10:54,141 --> 00:10:55,267
But since you've cuffed us together…
247
00:10:55,351 --> 00:10:57,186
I order you to be quiet. Come on.
248
00:11:02,274 --> 00:11:03,275
-Freeze, sicko!
-[YELPS]
249
00:11:03,359 --> 00:11:05,527
Jake, it's me, Charles, from work.
250
00:11:07,571 --> 00:11:11,075
Okay. Let's switch gears,
do a little word association.
251
00:11:11,325 --> 00:11:13,827
What do you think of
when I say the word "bottle"?
252
00:11:14,161 --> 00:11:17,080
Liquor store, hold up, gun, die.
253
00:11:18,331 --> 00:11:19,332
How about grass?
254
00:11:20,083 --> 00:11:24,462
Marijuana, drugs, gun, die.
255
00:11:24,754 --> 00:11:25,754
Cat?
256
00:11:25,838 --> 00:11:29,091
Kitten, cute, calm,
257
00:11:29,175 --> 00:11:32,512
false sense of security, gun, die.
258
00:11:34,347 --> 00:11:36,765
What are you doing?
Are you gonna stamp my form?
259
00:11:36,849 --> 00:11:39,936
No.
I just didn't want the ink to dry out.
260
00:11:43,690 --> 00:11:45,900
Boyle, what are you doing here?
I thought you had to catch a flight.
261
00:11:45,984 --> 00:11:47,777
I do. My flight is in six hours.
262
00:11:48,403 --> 00:11:50,279
But the Captain texted
me to come, so I'm here.
263
00:11:50,363 --> 00:11:53,740
What? You texted Boyle when you
told me you were texting your husband?
264
00:11:53,824 --> 00:11:55,491
As the person who's
completely in charge here,
265
00:11:55,575 --> 00:11:57,577
I am very disappointed in you.
266
00:11:58,036 --> 00:12:00,497
I'm changing your code name to Bad Boy.
267
00:12:00,622 --> 00:12:02,749
Oh, I can't imagine what
it's like to be disappointed
268
00:12:02,833 --> 00:12:03,917
in someone under your command.
269
00:12:04,001 --> 00:12:06,920
Okay. I see what you're doing. Tushy.
270
00:12:07,546 --> 00:12:08,546
It's "touché."
271
00:12:08,630 --> 00:12:11,216
Well, I'm in charge and I say it's tushy.
Boyle?
272
00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:13,635
I've heard it both ways.
Please don't involve me in this.
273
00:12:13,719 --> 00:12:16,679
I'm just here to uncuff the Captain
and take him to his old precinct.
274
00:12:16,763 --> 00:12:19,182
What? Old precinct? Wait a minute.
275
00:12:19,474 --> 00:12:20,934
You weren't going home at all.
276
00:12:21,018 --> 00:12:24,187
You were going to investigate the
threat because it's not a hoax. It's real!
277
00:12:24,271 --> 00:12:25,321
Wrong. It's not real.
278
00:12:25,522 --> 00:12:27,149
You're lying! You have a tell.
279
00:12:27,566 --> 00:12:29,858
When you lie, the corner of your
mouth moves. And it just moved.
280
00:12:29,942 --> 00:12:31,592
[DISTORTED] Wrong. It's not real.
281
00:12:31,986 --> 00:12:33,236
[DISTORTED] You're lying.
282
00:12:33,446 --> 00:12:35,739
Fine. I believe the threat is real.
283
00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:37,366
Though I'm not sure who's behind it.
284
00:12:37,450 --> 00:12:40,369
But this is my problem, and
I'm gonna solve it on my own.
285
00:12:40,453 --> 00:12:42,704
Boyle, uncuff me. Don't do it, Charles.
I'll take you on that trip
286
00:12:42,788 --> 00:12:44,373
to the botanical gardens
we've always talked about.
287
00:12:44,457 --> 00:12:45,832
Uncuff me. And that's a direct order.
288
00:12:45,916 --> 00:12:48,085
Don't do it, best friend.
Botanical gardens.
289
00:12:48,169 --> 00:12:50,254
Ah. This is just like Christmas
at my parents' house.
290
00:12:50,338 --> 00:12:52,338
Why did they have separate dining rooms?
291
00:12:56,052 --> 00:12:57,303
No!
292
00:12:57,803 --> 00:12:59,403
That was not one of the options!
293
00:12:59,513 --> 00:13:01,613
I couldn't choose.
I love you both so much.
294
00:13:03,476 --> 00:13:05,101
Who wants to watch Safe House?
295
00:13:07,395 --> 00:13:09,438
So, including letters, emails,
296
00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:11,072
and texts from a blocked phone,
297
00:13:11,191 --> 00:13:12,817
we have received 10 threats.
298
00:13:13,234 --> 00:13:15,486
How many people have you put
away that might want you dead?
299
00:13:15,570 --> 00:13:17,070
I've arrested over 600 people.
300
00:13:17,155 --> 00:13:19,573
Brag. Boyle, will you
please read the transcripts
301
00:13:19,657 --> 00:13:20,741
of the threats he's received?
302
00:13:20,825 --> 00:13:24,245
Yup. "Die, die, die. Die, Holt, die."
303
00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:25,371
Okay. A little obvious.
304
00:13:25,455 --> 00:13:27,332
"You will drown in your own blood."
305
00:13:27,499 --> 00:13:29,417
Better.
Although, I would have gone with the whole
306
00:13:29,501 --> 00:13:31,419
"I'm gonna staple my
face onto your face" thing.
307
00:13:31,503 --> 00:13:33,254
Human skin mask. Classic.
308
00:13:33,630 --> 00:13:36,466
The next one is, "I'm gonna
send you off the deep end."
309
00:13:37,133 --> 00:13:40,933
Drowning and deep end. Almost sounds
like he's talking about a swimming pool.
310
00:13:41,345 --> 00:13:42,429
It's Haimes.
311
00:13:42,513 --> 00:13:43,889
A-ha! Who's Haimes?
312
00:13:44,056 --> 00:13:46,266
Colin Haimes. The Freestyle Killer.
313
00:13:46,683 --> 00:13:50,187
He took out an entire 4x100
meter relay swim team in 1982.
314
00:13:53,357 --> 00:13:58,111
Marco. Now, you say "Polo."
315
00:13:58,195 --> 00:13:59,237
Punk.
316
00:13:59,321 --> 00:14:00,864
The Freestyle Killer.
317
00:14:01,031 --> 00:14:04,081
Man! How come all the killers
you caught had such cool names?
318
00:14:04,284 --> 00:14:06,786
The best name I ever brought in
was Narrow Shoes Sam, because…
319
00:14:06,870 --> 00:14:09,080
His shoes were narrow and
his name was Sam. I get it.
320
00:14:09,164 --> 00:14:10,165
Yeah, you get it.
321
00:14:10,249 --> 00:14:13,293
Well, Captain, looks like
you needed our help after all.
322
00:14:13,544 --> 00:14:14,836
Together, we figured out it was Haimes,
323
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,296
and together we're
going to take him down.
324
00:14:16,380 --> 00:14:18,547
Because together, we can do anything.
325
00:14:18,631 --> 00:14:19,715
Here we go!
326
00:14:20,716 --> 00:14:22,677
I'm finding Haimes alone.
327
00:14:24,387 --> 00:14:25,637
Coming back at you, Jake.
328
00:14:30,059 --> 00:14:31,144
Oh, my God. Rosa!
329
00:14:31,394 --> 00:14:33,937
I accidentally opened your mail.
But look what it says.
330
00:14:34,021 --> 00:14:37,107
"Dear Miss Diaz, you just won…"
331
00:14:37,191 --> 00:14:39,443
Rosa, guess what?
I accidentally opened your mail,
332
00:14:39,527 --> 00:14:42,279
and here's what it says.
"Dear Miss Diaz, you just won…"
333
00:14:42,363 --> 00:14:44,365
No. I'm reading the letter,
and you're taking the picture.
334
00:14:44,449 --> 00:14:45,450
What? Ha!
335
00:14:45,783 --> 00:14:49,495
You were trying to get me to smile for
your dumb picture, but you messed up.
336
00:14:49,579 --> 00:14:51,581
Ah! She smiled! She's smiling!
337
00:14:51,747 --> 00:14:53,748
-And no one has a camera.
-[CLICKING]
338
00:14:54,082 --> 00:14:57,732
Got it, Amy. Got a picture of you
frowning. That's what you wanted, right?
339
00:14:59,588 --> 00:15:02,840
Ah! Peralta. For the last time, we
don't have to go back to the precinct.
340
00:15:02,924 --> 00:15:04,092
I don't need everyone's help.
341
00:15:04,176 --> 00:15:06,010
Look, Captain, you're stubborn.
342
00:15:06,094 --> 00:15:07,644
And that's an adorable quality.
343
00:15:07,762 --> 00:15:09,889
But you want to know what's
not an adorable quality?
344
00:15:09,973 --> 00:15:11,673
Being dead. Acne. Yep, being dead.
345
00:15:12,184 --> 00:15:13,684
I mean, I give up.
What's going on with you?
346
00:15:13,768 --> 00:15:15,186
Why are you being so weird about this?
347
00:15:15,270 --> 00:15:16,687
I don't need your help.
348
00:15:16,771 --> 00:15:19,733
I don't want to involve
you or Boyle or anyone.
349
00:15:19,983 --> 00:15:22,902
Because I brought this situation
on myself. No one should get hurt
350
00:15:22,986 --> 00:15:25,986
because of a dumb mistake I
made as a brash, young detective.
351
00:15:26,198 --> 00:15:27,199
Hey, Haimes.
352
00:15:27,657 --> 00:15:28,866
You're gonna spend the rest of your life
353
00:15:28,950 --> 00:15:31,577
in a little cement room doing nothing.
354
00:15:31,785 --> 00:15:34,413
And while you're in there,
I'm gonna go for a swim.
355
00:15:34,663 --> 00:15:38,584
And after that swim, I
might take another swim.
356
00:15:38,751 --> 00:15:42,505
And you'll just be sitting
there on your metal toilet,
357
00:15:43,464 --> 00:15:49,011
thinking of me swim,
swim, swimming all day long.
358
00:15:49,345 --> 00:15:53,265
When I get out of lock-up, I'm
gonna hunt you down and kill you.
359
00:15:53,349 --> 00:15:56,018
Yeah. [CHUCKLES] Right.
360
00:15:56,352 --> 00:15:59,771
Wow. I think I really would have
gotten along with young Ray Holt.
361
00:15:59,855 --> 00:16:02,190
Yes. That's why I decided to
change everything about my life.
362
00:16:02,274 --> 00:16:05,610
Well, frankly, sir, you're still acting
like that brash, dumb detective.
363
00:16:05,694 --> 00:16:07,820
I mean, if you truly had changed,
you'd be saying a bunch of boring,
364
00:16:07,904 --> 00:16:09,530
responsible stuff like,
365
00:16:09,614 --> 00:16:12,074
[DEEP VOICE] "Don't be stupid."
"Use the detective squad."
366
00:16:12,158 --> 00:16:14,368
"You're part of a team."
"I smell like sandalwood."
367
00:16:14,452 --> 00:16:15,453
That's what it is.
368
00:16:15,537 --> 00:16:17,987
Yet another terrible impression, Peralta.
[SNIFFS]
369
00:16:18,456 --> 00:16:19,706
But I think you're right.
370
00:16:19,832 --> 00:16:20,875
Wait, what?
371
00:16:22,043 --> 00:16:24,044
Sir, I'm sure you had your reasons
372
00:16:24,128 --> 00:16:25,255
for going to Peralta.
373
00:16:25,755 --> 00:16:28,675
But this is exactly the type
of job I would love to have.
374
00:16:28,841 --> 00:16:32,591
Okay. The next time someone threatens
to kill me, I'll come straight to you.
375
00:16:32,845 --> 00:16:35,306
Thank you, sir. I can't wait.
376
00:16:36,349 --> 00:16:38,101
I didn't mean…
377
00:16:39,435 --> 00:16:40,687
Let's catch this bastard.
378
00:16:41,104 --> 00:16:44,815
All right, let's go. Updates. Santiago.
379
00:16:45,023 --> 00:16:46,983
Looking into Haimes' associates.
Nothing yet.
380
00:16:47,067 --> 00:16:48,151
Boyle?
381
00:16:48,235 --> 00:16:51,821
Uh, some intel coming in from Ossining.
Haimes was released two weeks ago.
382
00:16:51,905 --> 00:16:54,657
Good. Hitchcock and Scully.
Update on your secret project.
383
00:16:54,741 --> 00:16:56,743
The hazelnut coffee
will be up in five minutes.
384
00:16:56,827 --> 00:16:57,827
Sumatra's ready to go.
385
00:16:57,911 --> 00:16:58,953
Keep me updated.
386
00:16:59,037 --> 00:17:01,080
Warrant for the phone trace came through.
We got Haimes' number,
387
00:17:01,164 --> 00:17:04,876
and the last coordinates
from its GPS, the rail yards.
388
00:17:05,043 --> 00:17:07,212
All right, we got him. Everyone, suit up!
389
00:17:08,589 --> 00:17:10,131
I know there's no point
in telling you not to come.
390
00:17:10,215 --> 00:17:12,050
But while we're out there,
you're sticking with me.
391
00:17:12,134 --> 00:17:13,343
Oh, goodie.
392
00:17:13,635 --> 00:17:16,387
Man, you really know how to
take the fun out of saving your life.
393
00:17:16,471 --> 00:17:17,806
You heard him, Hitchcock.
394
00:17:18,098 --> 00:17:19,598
Get that Sumatra in a thermos.
395
00:17:19,682 --> 00:17:20,683
I'm on it.
396
00:17:27,982 --> 00:17:30,151
If things go south, I
just want you to know,
397
00:17:30,401 --> 00:17:32,820
it's been an honor being
able to boss you around.
398
00:17:33,154 --> 00:17:34,238
Anything else?
399
00:17:34,322 --> 00:17:37,072
Yes. What cute little nickname
do you call your husband?
400
00:17:38,159 --> 00:17:39,410
Kevin.
401
00:17:39,827 --> 00:17:41,078
Adorable.
402
00:17:42,580 --> 00:17:44,030
Sorry you missed your flight.
403
00:17:44,165 --> 00:17:46,015
I have a backup flight in four hours.
404
00:17:51,881 --> 00:17:54,633
Got to flush him out.
We've got his number now. Call his phone.
405
00:17:54,717 --> 00:17:55,885
Smart.
406
00:17:58,511 --> 00:17:59,595
[LINE RINGING]
407
00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:02,974
It's ringing. This is exciting.
408
00:18:03,975 --> 00:18:05,226
[PHONE RINGING NEARBY]
409
00:18:08,396 --> 00:18:12,525
That is Haimes' phone. I repeat.
Everyone, converge on that ringtone.
410
00:18:16,571 --> 00:18:18,121
He's heading north on track 17.
411
00:18:18,406 --> 00:18:19,407
Yeah.
412
00:18:22,410 --> 00:18:26,790
Hey. When this is all over, we
should take a train trip together.
413
00:18:26,956 --> 00:18:27,999
Just for fun.
414
00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:29,750
[GUNSHOTS]
415
00:18:29,834 --> 00:18:31,378
Go, go, go, go, go!
416
00:18:35,506 --> 00:18:36,590
Ray Holt.
417
00:18:37,466 --> 00:18:38,550
Hello, Haimes.
418
00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:41,595
I thought about you every day
I was in jail, just like you said.
419
00:18:41,679 --> 00:18:44,729
I thought about pointing a gun
at you and pulling the trigger.
420
00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:46,725
Kind of like this. No!
421
00:18:49,895 --> 00:18:52,356
Terry's back. Terry's back!
422
00:18:52,523 --> 00:18:53,648
We got him.
423
00:18:53,732 --> 00:18:56,652
Nice work, Jeffords. Nice work, Peralta.
424
00:18:56,902 --> 00:19:00,322
Captain, you're doing it. You're emoting.
425
00:19:00,948 --> 00:19:02,032
[SIGHS]
426
00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:04,535
DIAZ: I need an ambulance. Boyle's down.
427
00:19:06,787 --> 00:19:08,622
What happened? Am I dead?
428
00:19:09,163 --> 00:19:10,248
You saved my life.
429
00:19:11,290 --> 00:19:12,417
Die, pig.
430
00:19:12,917 --> 00:19:14,961
CHARLES [DISTORTED]: Don't!
431
00:19:16,754 --> 00:19:17,755
[GROANS]
432
00:19:17,964 --> 00:19:21,675
My butt!
433
00:19:21,759 --> 00:19:24,137
Oh, my butt.
434
00:19:28,725 --> 00:19:29,726
[INDISTINCT TALKING]
435
00:19:30,393 --> 00:19:32,893
He's going to be fine.
You can see him in a minute.
436
00:19:32,979 --> 00:19:33,980
Thank you.
437
00:19:34,689 --> 00:19:36,899
Sarge, I'm so glad
that shrink cleared you.
438
00:19:37,108 --> 00:19:38,943
Mmm. More or less.
439
00:19:39,736 --> 00:19:43,698
And time's up.
Show me how Terry sees Terry.
440
00:19:45,324 --> 00:19:46,992
Oh, no. Yeah, it's pretty bad.
441
00:19:47,951 --> 00:19:49,327
Sergeant! Excuse me. We are…
442
00:19:49,411 --> 00:19:51,746
Can it, quack.
Captain Holt needs your help.
443
00:19:51,830 --> 00:19:52,830
His life is in danger.
444
00:19:52,914 --> 00:19:55,375
Oh, Sergeant, I do not
think that you're ready.
445
00:19:57,377 --> 00:19:58,837
I'm ready.
446
00:20:00,380 --> 00:20:01,590
Okay, bye.
447
00:20:02,466 --> 00:20:03,467
I owe you one.
448
00:20:03,967 --> 00:20:05,427
Boyle got shot because of me.
449
00:20:06,011 --> 00:20:08,262
This is exactly the kind of
thing I was hoping to avoid.
450
00:20:08,346 --> 00:20:11,746
Captain, this is our job. Any one
of us would have taken that bullet.
451
00:20:11,933 --> 00:20:14,333
I'm sorry I've been so difficult.
You were right.
452
00:20:15,061 --> 00:20:16,646
We couldn't have caught
him without the team.
453
00:20:16,730 --> 00:20:20,192
Well, well, well. It appears the
student has become the teacher.
454
00:20:20,692 --> 00:20:22,776
And the teacher hath become..
. That's enough.
455
00:20:22,860 --> 00:20:23,986
Okay. Thank you.
456
00:20:24,195 --> 00:20:25,196
You're welcome.
457
00:20:25,863 --> 00:20:27,948
Team pop and lock. Here we go.
458
00:20:28,949 --> 00:20:30,910
Come on. Still? We saved your life.
459
00:20:34,914 --> 00:20:36,498
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
460
00:20:36,582 --> 00:20:39,334
JEFFORDS: Oh!
It's happening. Yes! We did it!
461
00:20:39,418 --> 00:20:40,669
[ALL CHEERING]
462
00:20:40,753 --> 00:20:43,255
Excuse me. This is a hospital.
463
00:20:43,589 --> 00:20:45,674
Right. Sorry. People are dying.
464
00:20:46,759 --> 00:20:49,959
You know, everyone should just
go home and enjoy their Christmas.
465
00:20:50,095 --> 00:20:51,722
You don't need to stick
around here for me.
466
00:20:51,806 --> 00:20:55,267
Shut up. No one's going anywhere.
What you did was amazing.
467
00:20:55,351 --> 00:20:57,185
Yeah, Boyle.
That was some Superman stuff.
468
00:20:57,269 --> 00:20:59,062
Yeah, you did the Nine-Nine proud.
469
00:20:59,437 --> 00:21:01,272
No ifs, ands, or butts.
470
00:21:01,689 --> 00:21:03,274
Sorry, it's just right there.
471
00:21:03,483 --> 00:21:04,984
Literally.
It's just right in front of me.
472
00:21:05,068 --> 00:21:06,518
His butt is right in my face.
473
00:21:06,611 --> 00:21:07,695
I have to tell you guys something.
474
00:21:07,779 --> 00:21:08,779
Even though I got shot…
475
00:21:08,863 --> 00:21:10,156
In the butt. Sorry.
476
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:12,700
I'd rather be here, spending
Christmas with all of you
477
00:21:12,784 --> 00:21:14,911
than on some stupid singles cruise.
478
00:21:15,161 --> 00:21:16,495
And I mean that from the bottom of my…
479
00:21:16,579 --> 00:21:18,748
Butt. Again, sorry. Ow.
480
00:21:18,998 --> 00:21:22,126
Shut up, Jake. Boyle's a hero.
481
00:21:22,794 --> 00:21:23,962
And so is his butt.
482
00:21:25,171 --> 00:21:27,006
[CLICKS] I got it. She smiled.
483
00:21:27,298 --> 00:21:28,591
Christmas card complete.
484
00:21:31,261 --> 00:21:32,461
He got shot in the butt.