1
00:00:02,783 --> 00:00:05,869
Happy Turkey Day. Yes!
Right out of the gate.

2
00:00:06,078 --> 00:00:07,078
What? What's going on?

3
00:00:07,162 --> 00:00:09,330
We're playing Boyle
Bingo, Thanksgiving Edition.

4
00:00:09,414 --> 00:00:12,542
Everyone filled out their cards with
possible Charles-related scenarios.

5
00:00:12,626 --> 00:00:14,043
First to "Bingo" gets 100 bucks.

6
00:00:14,127 --> 00:00:16,927
I had "Boyle calls it 'Turkey
Day"' in the center square.

7
00:00:18,298 --> 00:00:20,091
"Boyle explains that they ate lobsters

8
00:00:20,175 --> 00:00:21,217
"at the first Thanksgiving."

9
00:00:21,301 --> 00:00:22,802
They did. Back in that time,

10
00:00:22,886 --> 00:00:24,053
they called lobsters "ocean bugs."

11
00:00:24,137 --> 00:00:25,138
And I'll just mark it off for you.

12
00:00:25,222 --> 00:00:26,431
PERALTA: I think I've
got the winning card here.

13
00:00:26,515 --> 00:00:29,476
"Boyle tells us that he played
Pocahontas in his third grade play."

14
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:30,894
All the girls were too big.

15
00:00:30,978 --> 00:00:33,813
This is a fun one.
"Boyle says, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble."'

16
00:00:33,897 --> 00:00:35,648
Well, now that I know
you want me to say that,

17
00:00:35,732 --> 00:00:37,525
I'll just say it with two gobbles.

18
00:00:37,609 --> 00:00:39,559
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] Gobble, gobble.

19
00:00:39,987 --> 00:00:42,739
Gobble. God, it just…
It just sounds right that way.

20
00:00:42,823 --> 00:00:44,782
-[SIGHS] I don't like this game.
-DIAZ: Ha!

21
00:00:44,866 --> 00:00:46,117
"Boyle objects to Boyle Bingo."

22
00:00:46,201 --> 00:00:48,578
Come on, guys.
"Boyle says, 'Come on, guys."'

23
00:00:48,662 --> 00:00:49,746
That's two for Terry.

24
00:00:49,830 --> 00:00:52,999
Well, guess what? I can spoil
your little game by sitting over here

25
00:00:53,083 --> 00:00:57,045
quietly all day and doing nothing.
Oh! Ah!

26
00:00:57,129 --> 00:01:00,048
Anybody have "Boyle falls on floor"?
No one?

27
00:01:00,340 --> 00:01:03,510
That's a victory.
That's a victory for Boyle. Boom!

28
00:01:03,594 --> 00:01:04,928
ALL: Boyle says, "Boom!"

29
00:01:05,387 --> 00:01:07,389
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

30
00:01:25,490 --> 00:01:26,991
PERALTA: Check it out, chair jockeys.

31
00:01:27,075 --> 00:01:28,660
While you were busy tickling the ivories

32
00:01:28,744 --> 00:01:31,496
on your computers, I was doing a bust.

33
00:01:31,580 --> 00:01:34,333
Cocaine! Thanks, Lucius.

34
00:01:34,916 --> 00:01:36,876
He ran, I pursued…

35
00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:39,160
Whole thing turned into
an awesome car chase.

36
00:01:41,632 --> 00:01:42,883
NYPD!

37
00:01:43,592 --> 00:01:44,593
Hey! [GRUNTS]

38
00:01:46,386 --> 00:01:47,387
[TIRES SCREECHING]

39
00:01:47,471 --> 00:01:49,556
-MAN: Come on! Move, move!
-[HORN HONKING]

40
00:01:49,973 --> 00:01:52,851
Hey, there, criminal!
It's me, Johnny Law.

41
00:01:53,101 --> 00:01:54,477
Well, at least you're done early

42
00:01:54,561 --> 00:01:55,603
so you have time to go home

43
00:01:55,687 --> 00:01:57,230
and change for my Thanksgiving dinner.

44
00:01:57,314 --> 00:01:58,523
[GROANS] Why do we have to dress up

45
00:01:58,607 --> 00:01:59,607
for Thanksgiving?

46
00:01:59,691 --> 00:02:01,401
I don't even celebrate that stuff.

47
00:02:01,485 --> 00:02:03,278
The whole holiday is based on overeating.

48
00:02:03,362 --> 00:02:05,237
We should be wearing
velvet track suits and diapers.

49
00:02:05,321 --> 00:02:06,446
Jacket and tie.

50
00:02:06,530 --> 00:02:08,907
Rosa's even wearing
her formal leather jacket.

51
00:02:08,991 --> 00:02:10,450
It's the one without any blood on it.

52
00:02:10,534 --> 00:02:11,618
You're gonna dress up.

53
00:02:11,702 --> 00:02:12,703
And you're gonna give a toast

54
00:02:12,787 --> 00:02:14,121
about what you're thankful for.

55
00:02:14,205 --> 00:02:15,247
Start preparing.

56
00:02:15,331 --> 00:02:16,999
Oh, I prefer not to
prepare for my toasts.

57
00:02:17,083 --> 00:02:21,587
I just wing them, like scat jazz.
[SCATTING]

58
00:02:21,671 --> 00:02:23,130
Are we singing? No, no, no, no, no.

59
00:02:23,214 --> 00:02:25,341
[SINGING OPERA IN ITALIAN]

60
00:02:26,384 --> 00:02:29,053
That's nice. You don't have to.

61
00:02:30,304 --> 00:02:32,682
[WHISPERS] I'm not
dressing up for your party.

62
00:02:34,725 --> 00:02:37,019
Damn it, Boyle. You left the fridge open.

63
00:02:37,103 --> 00:02:38,103
The door couldn't shut

64
00:02:38,187 --> 00:02:39,438
because of your empty pizza box.

65
00:02:39,522 --> 00:02:41,648
Pizza? Please. This is a butternut squash

66
00:02:41,732 --> 00:02:43,150
and truffle butter flatbread.

67
00:02:43,234 --> 00:02:45,861
Everything's spoiled. My lunch is ruined!

68
00:02:45,945 --> 00:02:51,199
My chicken. My potatoes.
My pasta. My meatballs.

69
00:02:51,283 --> 00:02:54,036
My ham. My yogurt.

70
00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:56,121
Oh, that's a lot of yogurt.
I love yogurt.

71
00:02:56,205 --> 00:02:58,790
So, this is your lunch
for, like, the month?

72
00:02:58,874 --> 00:03:00,709
I need to eat 10,000 calories a day

73
00:03:00,793 --> 00:03:02,169
to maintain muscle mass.

74
00:03:02,253 --> 00:03:03,503
My wife made me all of this

75
00:03:03,587 --> 00:03:04,880
before she left town with the kids.

76
00:03:04,964 --> 00:03:06,614
That was everything in my fridge.

77
00:03:07,383 --> 00:03:09,134
Scully. Hey-a, Sarge.

78
00:03:09,218 --> 00:03:11,011
I know you got a secret stash
of food hidden somewhere.

79
00:03:11,095 --> 00:03:13,430
Oh, no. No, I don't. Where is it?

80
00:03:13,514 --> 00:03:15,474
Is it in your pockets? Oh, come on.

81
00:03:15,558 --> 00:03:17,934
I'm gonna shake it out of your pockets.
Turn around.

82
00:03:18,018 --> 00:03:19,770
Sarge. Oh. Sarge!

83
00:03:19,854 --> 00:03:22,064
Go limp, Scully. Oh, wow.

84
00:03:22,356 --> 00:03:23,357
This is fun!

85
00:03:23,566 --> 00:03:25,317
Release your sweets!

86
00:03:29,321 --> 00:03:30,947
Can I help you, Santiago?

87
00:03:31,031 --> 00:03:34,242
Oh, Captain.
Didn't expect to see you there.

88
00:03:34,326 --> 00:03:35,327
In my office?

89
00:03:35,745 --> 00:03:38,914
So, I just wanted to make sure that
you knew about the Thanksgiving dinner

90
00:03:38,998 --> 00:03:40,248
I'm hosting for the squad after work.

91
00:03:40,332 --> 00:03:43,919
Yes. I received your "Save
the Date" decorative gourd.

92
00:03:44,211 --> 00:03:46,380
Your ornamental cornucopia.

93
00:03:47,131 --> 00:03:50,842
And this beautiful hand-crafted
card of a turkey wearing a top hat.

94
00:03:50,926 --> 00:03:53,637
It's a pilgrim's hat.
Where's the buckle, Santiago?

95
00:03:54,013 --> 00:03:55,139
[SOFTLY] The buckle.

96
00:03:55,347 --> 00:03:59,393
My husband is out of town for work.
So, of course I will attend your dinner.

97
00:03:59,477 --> 00:04:01,353
Cool! Whatever.

98
00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:04,106
Yeah, don't worry about it either way.

99
00:04:04,190 --> 00:04:05,399
It's not a big deal.

100
00:04:07,902 --> 00:04:09,528
Yes! Why so excited?

101
00:04:09,612 --> 00:04:11,947
Did you make the cover of
<i>Hair Pulled Back</i> magazine?

102
00:04:12,031 --> 00:04:14,450
The Captain is coming to my party.

103
00:04:14,784 --> 00:04:17,202
I'm gonna give a toast,
tell him how thankful I am

104
00:04:17,286 --> 00:04:18,495
to have him in the precinct,

105
00:04:18,579 --> 00:04:20,706
and officially ask him to be my mentor.
[CHUCKLES]

106
00:04:20,790 --> 00:04:22,457
Wait, are you only hosting dinner

107
00:04:22,541 --> 00:04:24,209
because you want to suck up to Holt?

108
00:04:24,293 --> 00:04:25,335
Not cool.

109
00:04:25,419 --> 00:04:27,629
This was supposed to be about friendship.

110
00:04:27,713 --> 00:04:31,091
You said you were only coming to see if
my apartment was the reason I was single,

111
00:04:31,175 --> 00:04:33,510
or if it was my personality
like you suspected.

112
00:04:33,594 --> 00:04:36,722
Yeah, but that was before I knew
I could get up on this high horse.

113
00:04:36,806 --> 00:04:38,390
Love the view up here.

114
00:04:38,474 --> 00:04:41,060
Clip, clop. Clip, clop. Clip, clop.

115
00:04:42,978 --> 00:04:44,438
Same to you, Your Honor.

116
00:04:44,522 --> 00:04:46,148
Oh, what judge were you talking to?

117
00:04:46,232 --> 00:04:48,734
That was my mother.
You call your mom "Your Honor"?

118
00:04:48,818 --> 00:04:51,361
She's a federal judge in the Ninth
Circuit. What else would I call her?

119
00:04:51,445 --> 00:04:52,446
Okay.

120
00:04:52,822 --> 00:04:55,574
Captain, uh, paperwork is
all done on that drug bust.

121
00:04:55,658 --> 00:04:58,535
What else you got for me? Nothing.
All open cases are assigned.

122
00:04:58,619 --> 00:05:01,079
Come on. There's got to be
something I can investigate.

123
00:05:01,163 --> 00:05:03,915
No, there's nothing. All right, well,
when there's nothing, there's nothing.

124
00:05:03,999 --> 00:05:06,418
You know what I can do…
Whoa! Who did that?

125
00:05:06,669 --> 00:05:09,755
Don't worry, sir. I will stay
here all night figuring this out.

126
00:05:09,839 --> 00:05:11,339
I know what you're up to here, Peralta.

127
00:05:11,423 --> 00:05:14,050
Damn straight. I'm trying to
catch the Mad Paper Scatterer.

128
00:05:14,134 --> 00:05:16,970
You want an excuse to skip
Santiago's Thanksgiving dinner

129
00:05:17,054 --> 00:05:18,479
because, for some reason, you refuse to

130
00:05:18,563 --> 00:05:20,265
celebrate this holiday
like a normal person.

131
00:05:20,349 --> 00:05:22,434
Fine. You're right.
I want to do what I do every year.

132
00:05:22,518 --> 00:05:25,354
Sit at home, watch football,
and eat mayo nut spoonsies.

133
00:05:25,688 --> 00:05:29,191
Those are spoonfuls of mayo,
sprinkled with peanuts. That's revolting.

134
00:05:29,275 --> 00:05:31,401
Maybe so, but it's what I
invented when I was six,

135
00:05:31,485 --> 00:05:33,695
because my mom was working
so I had to make dinner for myself.

136
00:05:33,779 --> 00:05:37,240
My sad story trumps your insult.
Jake! Jake! Jake! Jake!

137
00:05:37,324 --> 00:05:38,867
BOYLE, PERALTA: Jake!
Jake! Jake! Jake!

138
00:05:38,951 --> 00:05:39,993
Thank you, Boyle.

139
00:05:40,077 --> 00:05:41,745
If a case opens up, it's yours.

140
00:05:41,829 --> 00:05:44,289
But if not, you will be at Santiago's.

141
00:05:44,373 --> 00:05:46,542
As a professional courtesy. Dismissed.

142
00:05:46,959 --> 00:05:49,128
From what?
I thought we were just chatting.

143
00:05:50,296 --> 00:05:52,047
We never chat anymore!

144
00:05:54,133 --> 00:05:56,092
Oh, my God, Amy, that's so cool

145
00:05:56,176 --> 00:05:57,469
that you still live with
your grandmother.

146
00:05:57,553 --> 00:05:59,847
I live alone. This is my stuff.

147
00:06:00,890 --> 00:06:04,351
I like quilts. Stop.
Each sentence is getting sadder.

148
00:06:04,435 --> 00:06:06,353
It looks like you live on the
set of <i>Murder, She Wrote.</i>

149
00:06:06,437 --> 00:06:09,314
Well, I've got to say, it's not
as bad as I thought it would be.

150
00:06:09,398 --> 00:06:12,067
The football game's not on, so
I can still watch it later at home.

151
00:06:12,151 --> 00:06:15,362
And it's kind of cool to visit a
time before electricity was invented.

152
00:06:15,446 --> 00:06:16,946
I have to practice my toast.

153
00:06:17,030 --> 00:06:18,322
God, how long is that?

154
00:06:18,406 --> 00:06:19,782
Eight pages. Single-spaced?

155
00:06:19,866 --> 00:06:21,826
Double-sided. Santiago style.

156
00:06:21,910 --> 00:06:24,037
Okay. Excuse me. Can we please eat?

157
00:06:24,537 --> 00:06:26,872
My body is starting to digest itself.

158
00:06:26,956 --> 00:06:28,457
Terry needs nutrients.

159
00:06:28,541 --> 00:06:31,961
No eating until the Captain gets here.
Okay? Sorry.

160
00:06:32,045 --> 00:06:33,337
Don't apologize.

161
00:06:33,421 --> 00:06:34,839
I'd rather spend
Thanksgiving at your house

162
00:06:34,923 --> 00:06:35,965
than with my sister.

163
00:06:36,591 --> 00:06:38,008
"Things you find at the beach."

164
00:06:38,092 --> 00:06:42,096
For "S," I had "seagull."
Good one, Diana! Ice cream break!

165
00:06:42,472 --> 00:06:44,098
DIANA: Yay! Yay.

166
00:06:44,557 --> 00:06:46,141
It's so pleasant and boring.

167
00:06:46,225 --> 00:06:48,561
But Holt at your house?
Surrounded by these idiots?

168
00:06:48,645 --> 00:06:50,604
Guaranteed train wreck.
Thanks for the invite.

169
00:06:50,688 --> 00:06:51,814
[DOORBELL RINGING]

170
00:06:51,898 --> 00:06:53,023
He's here. Okay, he's here.

171
00:06:53,107 --> 00:06:56,527
Everybody, be cool.
Hitchcock, why do you have your shirt off?

172
00:06:56,611 --> 00:06:58,821
Can't spill food on your
shirt if you're not wearing one.

173
00:06:58,905 --> 00:06:59,906
What…

174
00:07:02,033 --> 00:07:03,033
Captain Holt.

175
00:07:03,117 --> 00:07:06,017
Happy Thanksgiving.
Your apartment was very easy to locate.

176
00:07:06,162 --> 00:07:08,790
Thank you so much. You look beautiful.

177
00:07:10,792 --> 00:07:12,626
Weirdest conversation ever.

178
00:07:12,710 --> 00:07:13,795
Nice work, you two.

179
00:07:15,296 --> 00:07:18,048
Before we eat, I'd like
everyone to go around and say

180
00:07:18,132 --> 00:07:19,675
what they're thankful for this year.

181
00:07:19,759 --> 00:07:21,886
[SIGHS] Fine, I'll go first.

182
00:07:21,970 --> 00:07:25,139
I am thankful that Thanksgiving
only comes once a year.

183
00:07:25,223 --> 00:07:29,310
People stuff themselves. And then at
midnight, they run to appliance stores

184
00:07:29,394 --> 00:07:30,994
and trample each other to death.

185
00:07:31,479 --> 00:07:32,855
It's a garbage holiday.

186
00:07:33,815 --> 00:07:36,233
[SOBS] I'm sorry.
I just get emotional when I talk about

187
00:07:36,317 --> 00:07:37,694
how bogus Thanksgiving is.

188
00:07:38,277 --> 00:07:41,405
I'll just go.
I actually prepared a little something.

189
00:07:41,489 --> 00:07:43,490
You did? "When I was a little girl,

190
00:07:43,574 --> 00:07:44,575
"playing cops and
robbers with my brothers…"

191
00:07:44,659 --> 00:07:47,411
-[CELL PHONE RINGING]
-Excuse me. Please continue, Santiago.

192
00:07:47,495 --> 00:07:48,537
Or I could wait.

193
00:07:48,621 --> 00:07:50,205
No waiting. Just toasting.
I want you to toast.

194
00:07:50,289 --> 00:07:52,249
Now I want to eat toast.
Give me some toast!

195
00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:53,542
HOLT: Okay. I'll be right there.

196
00:07:53,626 --> 00:07:54,835
I have to head back to the precinct.

197
00:07:54,919 --> 00:07:58,422
No. Why? Someone stole
$10,000 from the evidence lock-up.

198
00:07:58,506 --> 00:08:00,841
Yes. Oh, awesome. Why is that awesome?

199
00:08:00,925 --> 00:08:03,677
It's a case. You said I could
hop on any case that came up.

200
00:08:03,761 --> 00:08:05,555
It's a Thanksgiving miracle!

201
00:08:06,305 --> 00:08:08,766
Have fun, you guys. Let's roll!

202
00:08:10,435 --> 00:08:12,978
You'd think the one place money
would be safe is a police station.

203
00:08:13,062 --> 00:08:16,315
I hear that. Remember when
Santiago called you beautiful?

204
00:08:16,399 --> 00:08:18,984
Yes, that was odd.
We need to get this money back.

205
00:08:19,068 --> 00:08:22,655
The exact bills. Or the Commissioner's
office will make our lives hell.

206
00:08:22,822 --> 00:08:25,449
What is this? Uh, this is Terry dancing.

207
00:08:25,533 --> 00:08:27,534
People do the weirdest
stuff in the evidence lock-up

208
00:08:27,618 --> 00:08:28,744
when they think no one's watching.

209
00:08:28,828 --> 00:08:30,871
Mmm. Fast forward, fast forward.

210
00:08:30,955 --> 00:08:32,498
Fast forward. Wait, wait, wait.
Stop, stop, stop.

211
00:08:32,582 --> 00:08:34,750
Okay. So, here's our money.

212
00:08:34,834 --> 00:08:38,129
Fast forward. Hold it. Hold it. Go back.

213
00:08:39,380 --> 00:08:42,383
There's our guy. Got him. Okay.

214
00:08:42,467 --> 00:08:43,634
We should start by checking all the perps

215
00:08:43,718 --> 00:08:45,219
that were released from holding today.

216
00:08:45,303 --> 00:08:47,263
Good idea. And if it's none of them,

217
00:08:48,056 --> 00:08:49,890
we may miss Santiago's altogether.

218
00:08:49,974 --> 00:08:51,309
Thanksgiving is dead!

219
00:08:52,143 --> 00:08:55,271
Santiago. Can we please, please just eat?

220
00:08:55,646 --> 00:08:57,314
What if Captain Holt and
Jake are coming back?

221
00:08:57,398 --> 00:08:58,983
Hang on. I have a toast.

222
00:09:00,026 --> 00:09:02,945
I am thankful to have someone in my life

223
00:09:03,029 --> 00:09:05,489
who gives me a reason to
get out of bed every morning.

224
00:09:05,573 --> 00:09:09,827
And I hope that my relationship
with this person will only grow…

225
00:09:11,454 --> 00:09:12,705
[SIGHS] More intimate.

226
00:09:12,789 --> 00:09:14,089
Who are you talking about?

227
00:09:14,874 --> 00:09:17,794
Um… Hitchcock.

228
00:09:20,421 --> 00:09:22,882
Okay, enough is enough. I'm eating.

229
00:09:25,343 --> 00:09:28,595
[GROANS] What's in these?

230
00:09:28,679 --> 00:09:30,389
Potatoes, butter, a little milk.

231
00:09:30,473 --> 00:09:32,766
And I ran out of salt,
so I used baking soda.

232
00:09:32,850 --> 00:09:34,018
Why wouldn't you?

233
00:09:34,519 --> 00:09:35,936
They're both white powders.

234
00:09:36,020 --> 00:09:37,720
Of course they're interchangeable!

235
00:09:38,272 --> 00:09:39,273
Yeah.

236
00:09:39,524 --> 00:09:40,525
[GRUNTS]

237
00:09:41,567 --> 00:09:43,235
There were two men
released from holding today

238
00:09:43,319 --> 00:09:46,113
that were the right height and weight
to be our thief on the security footage.

239
00:09:46,197 --> 00:09:47,740
Even if it is one of
them, how will we know?

240
00:09:47,824 --> 00:09:49,658
Easy.
The guy on the footage was left-handed.

241
00:09:49,742 --> 00:09:51,994
We just give all of our suspects
some made-up form to sign

242
00:09:52,078 --> 00:09:53,478
and see which hand they use.

243
00:09:54,163 --> 00:09:55,414
All right, <i>amigo.</i>

244
00:09:56,916 --> 00:09:57,959
Punch it!

245
00:10:01,170 --> 00:10:03,422
Good, did that. Now, punch it!

246
00:10:05,550 --> 00:10:08,469
A-ha. Safety first. Punch it!

247
00:10:11,973 --> 00:10:12,973
Okay. See, now, I just feel like

248
00:10:13,057 --> 00:10:15,257
-you're messing with me…
-[TIRES SCREECHING]

249
00:10:16,102 --> 00:10:18,729
Anyone want seconds? Can't. So stuffed.

250
00:10:18,813 --> 00:10:21,398
SCULLY: Amy. Your toilet's overflowing!

251
00:10:21,482 --> 00:10:24,193
What? Ew. Scully, what did you do?

252
00:10:24,277 --> 00:10:26,027
And the night gets worse-better.

253
00:10:26,111 --> 00:10:28,821
I… I didn't do it.
Although I understand why you suspect me.

254
00:10:28,905 --> 00:10:30,282
Then, who clogged it?

255
00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:38,530
So, none of you ate anything.

256
00:10:39,166 --> 00:10:41,710
Terry, you said you ate the whole turkey.
Toilet.

257
00:10:45,463 --> 00:10:47,840
I ate one string bean.
It tasted like fish vomit.

258
00:10:47,924 --> 00:10:48,925
That was it for me.

259
00:10:49,009 --> 00:10:50,468
But I'm a good cook.

260
00:10:50,802 --> 00:10:52,762
You all ate those brownies
I brought in last week.

261
00:10:52,846 --> 00:10:54,347
I thought they were erasers.

262
00:10:54,431 --> 00:10:55,640
Charles said he loved them.

263
00:10:55,724 --> 00:10:57,058
I'm a textbook people-pleaser.

264
00:10:57,142 --> 00:10:58,392
I have a serious problem.

265
00:10:58,602 --> 00:11:01,395
This was great, though.
You must be so proud.

266
00:11:01,479 --> 00:11:03,189
Yeah, Thanksgiving's over.

267
00:11:03,273 --> 00:11:04,315
Everybody go home.

268
00:11:04,399 --> 00:11:06,234
We're just…
We're done hanging out together.

269
00:11:06,318 --> 00:11:07,610
I… I'm not done hanging out.

270
00:11:07,694 --> 00:11:09,195
Let's go to the bar.
They serve food there.

271
00:11:09,279 --> 00:11:13,366
That's a great idea! Oh, look at that.
"Boyle saves Thanksgiving."

272
00:11:13,450 --> 00:11:17,161
Does it really say that? No. But it
does say, "Boyle believes obvious lie."

273
00:11:17,245 --> 00:11:18,330
Damn it!

274
00:11:19,206 --> 00:11:20,498
So, what's our strategy here?

275
00:11:20,582 --> 00:11:22,708
I'm thinking maybe we can
do the whole thing in character.

276
00:11:22,792 --> 00:11:25,586
I'll play Detective Bart
Barley, tightly wound,

277
00:11:25,670 --> 00:11:27,338
hates violence against animals.

278
00:11:27,422 --> 00:11:29,465
And you're my partner, Gerald Jimes,

279
00:11:29,549 --> 00:11:32,135
a man who solved every crime but one…

280
00:11:32,469 --> 00:11:33,886
The murder of his wife.

281
00:11:33,970 --> 00:11:35,388
Peralta, take this seriously.

282
00:11:35,472 --> 00:11:39,851
I am. As seriously as you're taking the
search for the man who killed Jane Jimes.

283
00:11:39,935 --> 00:11:42,646
Your only clue? He wore a yellow sweater.

284
00:11:43,021 --> 00:11:46,024
Eh? You're considering it.
Let's get in there.

285
00:11:47,150 --> 00:11:48,151
NYPD.

286
00:11:48,235 --> 00:11:49,319
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

287
00:11:50,403 --> 00:11:52,280
What's going on?
I'm right in the middle of carving turkey.

288
00:11:52,364 --> 00:11:54,448
I'm vegetarian. Eating meat is murder.

289
00:11:54,532 --> 00:11:55,783
I hate violence against animals.

290
00:11:55,867 --> 00:11:57,160
Bup, bup, bup, bup.

291
00:11:57,577 --> 00:12:01,377
We overlooked a release form we were
supposed to have you sign. We apologize.

292
00:12:02,958 --> 00:12:04,668
Yeah, he's right-handed. Let's go.

293
00:12:05,585 --> 00:12:08,671
<i>Look out, bad guys It's Barley and Jimes</i>

294
00:12:08,755 --> 00:12:11,090
<i>Barley and Jimes are on the case</i>

295
00:12:11,174 --> 00:12:13,509
Please, refrain from
make-believe this time.

296
00:12:13,593 --> 00:12:14,844
-Fine.
-[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

297
00:12:16,137 --> 00:12:19,266
Evening, ma'am. NYPD. Barley and Jimes.

298
00:12:19,766 --> 00:12:21,017
We're looking for Donny Romano.

299
00:12:21,101 --> 00:12:25,855
Ugh. Come in. Donny!
What did you do? Cops are here.

300
00:12:25,939 --> 00:12:29,066
[GROANS] What do you guys want?

301
00:12:29,150 --> 00:12:31,027
Sorry to bother you, sir.
My partner, here,

302
00:12:31,111 --> 00:12:32,695
forgot about a form we need you to sign.

303
00:12:32,779 --> 00:12:34,238
What's happening, Donny? What did you do?

304
00:12:34,322 --> 00:12:36,699
I didn't do anything. It's not my fault.

305
00:12:36,783 --> 00:12:39,410
Same old story. It's never you, is it?
What did Donny do?

306
00:12:39,494 --> 00:12:41,412
I swear, Ma.
I don't know what this is about.

307
00:12:41,496 --> 00:12:42,872
Why won't you ever believe me?

308
00:12:42,956 --> 00:12:45,625
-Because I raised a liar. You lie.
-DONNY: Oh…

309
00:12:45,709 --> 00:12:47,877
Shut up, Ma.
Hey, don't talk to Ma like that.

310
00:12:47,961 --> 00:12:50,630
Don't you tell me what to do, Louie!
Excuse me.

311
00:12:50,755 --> 00:12:52,006
-[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
-Not the rolls!

312
00:12:52,090 --> 00:12:54,217
George, do something! Excuse me, if…

313
00:12:55,844 --> 00:12:57,887
[ALL SHOUTING]

314
00:12:58,763 --> 00:13:01,975
My wife was murdered by
a man in a yellow sweater!

315
00:13:02,892 --> 00:13:05,186
It's the one case I can't solve.

316
00:13:06,646 --> 00:13:08,064
Don't fight with family.

317
00:13:08,148 --> 00:13:12,235
It can all go away so quickly. Sign this?

318
00:13:14,696 --> 00:13:15,697
[SIGHS]

319
00:13:18,325 --> 00:13:21,577
That's a hell of a breakthrough, Jimes.
I'm proud of you.

320
00:13:21,661 --> 00:13:23,705
Also, we just got our man.

321
00:13:24,664 --> 00:13:27,250
He signed with his right hand.
That's right, he did.

322
00:13:27,334 --> 00:13:30,044
But he didn't do it. He did. What?

323
00:13:30,128 --> 00:13:31,587
I couldn't help but notice
you throwing those rolls

324
00:13:31,671 --> 00:13:32,922
with your left hand, boss.

325
00:13:33,006 --> 00:13:36,156
Not to mention this hoodie
matches our security footage exactly.

326
00:13:36,676 --> 00:13:38,427
You stole that money when you
came in to pick up your brother

327
00:13:38,511 --> 00:13:40,388
from holding today, didn't you? Damn it.

328
00:13:40,472 --> 00:13:41,639
HOLT: Nice work, Peralta.

329
00:13:41,723 --> 00:13:43,849
So, where's the money now? It's not here.

330
00:13:43,933 --> 00:13:45,643
I bet it all on the football game.
My bookie has it.

331
00:13:45,727 --> 00:13:48,521
Yes! The case continues.
This is not good.

332
00:13:49,356 --> 00:13:51,149
Right. Sorry, Jimes.

333
00:13:51,691 --> 00:13:53,491
His father was murdered by a bookie.

334
00:13:54,486 --> 00:13:55,570
I know you miss him.

335
00:13:59,866 --> 00:14:02,816
Our perp says the bookie
operates out of a hidden back room.

336
00:14:03,411 --> 00:14:05,037
Try to blend in. Good idea.

337
00:14:05,121 --> 00:14:06,956
I'll just age myself 60 years,

338
00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:08,624
become Chinese and female.

339
00:14:08,708 --> 00:14:10,501
Here we go. [BLOWS AIR THROUGH TEETH]

340
00:14:10,585 --> 00:14:12,420
Did it work? $10 to play.

341
00:14:12,504 --> 00:14:14,130
Oh, we're just looking around.

342
00:14:14,214 --> 00:14:15,881
$40 just to look around.

343
00:14:15,965 --> 00:14:17,133
All right, we'll play.

344
00:14:17,217 --> 00:14:19,886
$15 to play. All right.

345
00:14:21,513 --> 00:14:23,347
[SIGHS] Tommy, can we order some food?

346
00:14:23,431 --> 00:14:24,724
The cook's gone. I sent him home.

347
00:14:24,808 --> 00:14:27,143
Do you have any more of these pretzels?
Sure.

348
00:14:30,814 --> 00:14:31,939
I'm gonna call the cook.

349
00:14:32,023 --> 00:14:33,358
Smart. Good call.

350
00:14:34,442 --> 00:14:36,319
Hey. Rough night?

351
00:14:36,403 --> 00:14:39,237
[SIGHS] Yeah, it certainly
hasn't gone according to plan.

352
00:14:39,321 --> 00:14:43,658
Oh, no. Oh, Amy, I was ordering
a drink called a "Rough Night."

353
00:14:43,742 --> 00:14:46,161
It's tequila with a nicotine patch.

354
00:14:46,245 --> 00:14:47,246
Right.

355
00:14:48,038 --> 00:14:49,914
How do I get Holt to pay attention to me?

356
00:14:49,998 --> 00:14:52,292
He sure spends a lot of time on Peralta.

357
00:14:52,376 --> 00:14:54,753
Maybe I should start
screwing up like Jake does.

358
00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:58,173
I can act out, too, you know. Please do.

359
00:14:58,424 --> 00:15:00,467
Okay. Watch this.

360
00:15:06,432 --> 00:15:07,515
Oops.

361
00:15:07,599 --> 00:15:11,061
Out. All of you.
But the cook is coming back.

362
00:15:11,145 --> 00:15:12,229
Out!

363
00:15:14,231 --> 00:15:15,274
Fine!

364
00:15:16,108 --> 00:15:17,985
But I'm taking these olives!

365
00:15:20,154 --> 00:15:22,614
[SIGHS] Sorry. Happy Turkey Day.

366
00:15:26,076 --> 00:15:27,160
[SPEAKING IN CANTONESE]

367
00:15:27,244 --> 00:15:30,414
Aah!
I think I'm getting the hang of this.

368
00:15:30,789 --> 00:15:33,292
These tiles are either
game pieces or candy.

369
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:36,295
Game pieces. Here we go.

370
00:15:36,837 --> 00:15:38,672
[BOTH SHOUTING IN CANTONESE]

371
00:15:40,090 --> 00:15:41,258
I think I just won.

372
00:15:41,842 --> 00:15:44,928
The guy by the bathroom seems very
interested in the commotion you just made.

373
00:15:45,012 --> 00:15:47,514
Yeah, and he's been waiting
for the toilet since we got here.

374
00:15:47,598 --> 00:15:49,891
Ten-to-one, that's not a
bathroom and he's a lookout.

375
00:15:49,975 --> 00:15:51,727
Let's go. You got it.

376
00:15:52,895 --> 00:15:54,062
I'm gonna just cash out.

377
00:15:54,146 --> 00:15:55,772
[SPEAKING IN CANTONESE]

378
00:15:58,358 --> 00:15:59,859
There is nothing here.

379
00:15:59,943 --> 00:16:02,112
Don't worry, guys. I found food.

380
00:16:02,654 --> 00:16:04,531
Are you eating packing peanuts?

381
00:16:05,282 --> 00:16:07,826
Okay. I do keep a secret
stash of food in the office.

382
00:16:07,910 --> 00:16:10,954
I knew it! Where? Where?

383
00:16:12,331 --> 00:16:13,581
Sarge, am I too heavy?

384
00:16:13,665 --> 00:16:14,749
No. Where is it?

385
00:16:14,833 --> 00:16:16,251
There. The one with the water stain.

386
00:16:16,335 --> 00:16:17,335
There's a lot of food up there?

387
00:16:17,419 --> 00:16:19,421
Yeah. It's a smorgasbord.

388
00:16:20,255 --> 00:16:21,507
[CRIES OUT]

389
00:16:22,508 --> 00:16:23,558
[HIGH-PITCHED SCREAM]

390
00:16:25,219 --> 00:16:26,220
[ALL CLAMORING]

391
00:16:28,764 --> 00:16:30,306
I think the rats got to it. You think?

392
00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:32,392
This is the greatest thing
that's ever happened.

393
00:16:32,476 --> 00:16:35,478
Okay, it's over.
Thanksgiving time of death, now.

394
00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:39,316
No. This will not be our Thanksgiving.
All right. You all wait here.

395
00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:42,318
Give me an hour. Terry, to the door.

396
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:43,695
I'm just gonna put you down, man.

397
00:16:43,779 --> 00:16:46,156
Yeah, totally, that makes sense.
That makes sense.

398
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:47,449
Hey, there. Bathroom?

399
00:16:47,533 --> 00:16:49,933
There's another one upstairs over there.
[GROANS]

400
00:16:54,790 --> 00:16:56,624
[WHISPERS] Oh. Never mind. Let's go.

401
00:16:56,708 --> 00:16:58,001
[WHISPERS] What, it's really a bathroom?

402
00:16:58,085 --> 00:17:01,045
No, no, no. There's tons of
illegal stuff happening in there.

403
00:17:01,129 --> 00:17:03,381
But they're watching the
football game, and I DVR'd it.

404
00:17:03,465 --> 00:17:05,717
I don't want to see the score. What?

405
00:17:05,801 --> 00:17:07,886
Okay, fine.
We'll go get the stolen money.

406
00:17:07,970 --> 00:17:09,220
NYPD! Freeze!

407
00:17:09,304 --> 00:17:11,954
-Change the channel and then freeze!
-HOLT: Put it down!

408
00:17:12,224 --> 00:17:13,225
[GRUNTING]

409
00:17:13,767 --> 00:17:14,809
HOLT: Put it down! Put it down!

410
00:17:14,893 --> 00:17:17,103
This is a weird request, but
will you switch places with me?

411
00:17:17,187 --> 00:17:19,523
I really don't want to see the score!
[GRUNTS]

412
00:17:23,569 --> 00:17:26,779
Oh, yeah. Thank you. So much better.

413
00:17:26,863 --> 00:17:29,324
Oh! Why are there so many TVs in here?

414
00:17:30,909 --> 00:17:31,910
PERALTA: Thank you.

415
00:17:31,994 --> 00:17:34,621
Money was still in the bookie's safe.
All the numbers match.

416
00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:36,206
Let's head back to Santiago's party.

417
00:17:36,290 --> 00:17:38,500
Oh, no, thanks.
I think I'm gonna head home

418
00:17:38,584 --> 00:17:39,751
and watch the football game.

419
00:17:39,835 --> 00:17:41,753
Which was ruined for me!

420
00:17:41,837 --> 00:17:43,463
What's your problem with
celebrating Thanksgiving?

421
00:17:43,547 --> 00:17:45,924
It's a sucky holiday. It's always sucked.

422
00:17:46,008 --> 00:17:49,358
My mom worked, my dad was gone,
and I sat at home watching football.

423
00:17:49,845 --> 00:17:53,473
Look, Jake.
I came from a very formal family.

424
00:17:53,557 --> 00:17:55,808
My parents were not
especially affectionate.

425
00:17:55,892 --> 00:17:58,228
Really? Your Honor wasn't a big snuggler?

426
00:17:58,312 --> 00:18:00,271
But the beauty of being an adult

427
00:18:00,355 --> 00:18:03,816
is that you can make a new
family with new traditions.

428
00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:06,319
Well, that's nice, Captain, but
I don't have a new family yet.

429
00:18:06,403 --> 00:18:09,573
So, I guess I'm stuck with
my awesome old traditions.

430
00:18:09,990 --> 00:18:12,784
Okay.
I'll tell the squad you couldn't make it.

431
00:18:12,868 --> 00:18:15,954
Thank you.
Before you go, can I borrow some money?

432
00:18:16,038 --> 00:18:18,289
I'm getting some pretty serious
vibes from Wendy over there,

433
00:18:18,373 --> 00:18:20,523
and I'd like to take
her some place special.

434
00:18:25,964 --> 00:18:28,383
Hey. What are you all doing here?

435
00:18:28,634 --> 00:18:30,843
Amy broke everything and
got us kicked out of the bar.

436
00:18:30,927 --> 00:18:32,470
Then, we got attacked by rats.

437
00:18:32,554 --> 00:18:33,888
It's the best Thanksgiving ever.

438
00:18:33,972 --> 00:18:35,432
Fascinating.

439
00:18:35,974 --> 00:18:37,183
Happy Turkey Day.

440
00:18:37,267 --> 00:18:39,060
Right through there, gentlemen.

441
00:18:39,144 --> 00:18:40,228
Not a lot of places are open,

442
00:18:40,312 --> 00:18:42,188
so this will be a multi-ethnic,

443
00:18:42,272 --> 00:18:43,648
non-traditional Thanksgiving.

444
00:18:43,732 --> 00:18:44,983
It's a real culinary challenge.

445
00:18:45,067 --> 00:18:46,651
Give me 15 minutes, and then we feast.

446
00:18:46,735 --> 00:18:47,818
Make it five.

447
00:18:47,902 --> 00:18:48,986
You eat with your eyes,

448
00:18:49,070 --> 00:18:50,153
so the plating alone takes…

449
00:18:50,237 --> 00:18:51,405
Five, Boyle!

450
00:18:57,703 --> 00:18:59,955
Captain, I want to tell you something.
Hmm?

451
00:19:00,164 --> 00:19:01,457
I think you're…

452
00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:03,750
Like, when I was a little girl…

453
00:19:03,834 --> 00:19:06,134
You think I'm like when
you were a little girl.

454
00:19:06,796 --> 00:19:08,046
Forget it. The moment's passed.

455
00:19:08,130 --> 00:19:09,507
Is this about your toast?

456
00:19:10,841 --> 00:19:12,968
How did you get that? Gina gave it to me.

457
00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:16,346
It's very well written.
There are several compelling anecdotes,

458
00:19:16,430 --> 00:19:18,683
the fonts suit the tone. Good work.

459
00:19:20,184 --> 00:19:23,228
I did feel, however, the word choice
could have been improved in spots.

460
00:19:23,312 --> 00:19:26,524
I marked them "awk." For awkward.

461
00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:33,905
That was the best thing
anyone's ever said to me.

462
00:19:33,989 --> 00:19:35,907
"I marked them 'awk.' For awkward"?

463
00:19:35,991 --> 00:19:38,619
It's advice. He's mentoring me.

464
00:19:39,495 --> 00:19:40,538
Yes!

465
00:19:41,789 --> 00:19:44,958
[SIGHS] So, this is kind of a play
on your typical Thanksgiving dinner.

466
00:19:45,042 --> 00:19:48,629
For turkey, we have the Peking
duck with a veggie samosa stuffing.

467
00:19:48,713 --> 00:19:53,008
The potatoes are the empanadas
with an Ethiopian lentil stew gravy.

468
00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:56,178
And for dessert, some
seasonal gelatin cups.

469
00:19:56,262 --> 00:19:58,764
Okay, I ran out of money. They're
from when Hitchcock got his colonoscopy.

470
00:19:58,848 --> 00:20:00,349
Bon appétit.

471
00:20:00,516 --> 00:20:02,643
-I'm here. I'm here.
-ALL: Ah!

472
00:20:02,727 --> 00:20:04,978
Finally, something to
actually be thankful for.

473
00:20:05,062 --> 00:20:07,147
What are you wearing?
Santiago said to dress up, so…

474
00:20:07,231 --> 00:20:09,483
Well, you look beautiful.

475
00:20:09,650 --> 00:20:11,485
That's my thing now. I'm just owning it.

476
00:20:11,569 --> 00:20:14,571
Okay, before we eat…
Nope. Not doing that again.

477
00:20:14,655 --> 00:20:15,739
Move! Could you pass the, uh…

478
00:20:15,823 --> 00:20:18,325
You get that hand near me
again, you're gonna lose it.

479
00:20:18,409 --> 00:20:20,578
Okey doke. Let's eat!

480
00:20:20,828 --> 00:20:24,289
Yeah. Hey, thanks for giving a copy of
my toast to Holt. That was nice of you.

481
00:20:24,373 --> 00:20:27,668
Oh, you're welcome. I mean, you don't
have to get so freaked out around him.

482
00:20:27,752 --> 00:20:30,045
You're just trying to
tell him you respect him.

483
00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:33,674
Okay. But to be honest, I
kind of gave it to him as a prank,

484
00:20:33,758 --> 00:20:36,301
'cause I thought it would be
super embarrassing for you.

485
00:20:36,385 --> 00:20:38,720
But I'm happy it worked out.

486
00:20:38,804 --> 00:20:42,933
But I would have been happy if
he hated it. But I'm happy he didn't.

487
00:20:43,934 --> 00:20:46,520
So, you pretty much got the
disaster night you were hoping for?

488
00:20:46,604 --> 00:20:50,354
Yeah. Until you made the best Thanksgiving
meal I've ever had and ruined it.

489
00:20:51,942 --> 00:20:52,943
Excuse me.

490
00:20:53,027 --> 00:20:56,655
Uh, so, earlier at Amy's, I
didn't give a real toast because…

491
00:20:57,364 --> 00:20:58,657
I didn't know what to say.

492
00:20:58,741 --> 00:21:02,828
But since that time,
a wise, unsmiling man

493
00:21:02,912 --> 00:21:05,038
named Gerald Jimes made me realize

494
00:21:05,122 --> 00:21:06,373
what I am thankful for.

495
00:21:06,457 --> 00:21:08,208
So, I'd just like to say

496
00:21:08,292 --> 00:21:11,295
I am happy to be here with my family.

497
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:15,841
My super weird family with two black dads

498
00:21:15,925 --> 00:21:18,969
and two Latina daughters
and two white sons…

499
00:21:19,678 --> 00:21:22,931
And Gina. And… I don't know what you are.

500
00:21:23,015 --> 00:21:25,976
Some strange, giant baby.
To the Nine-Nine!

501
00:21:26,060 --> 00:21:27,478
ALL: To the Nine-Nine.

502
00:21:28,354 --> 00:21:29,438
That was perfect.

503
00:21:29,522 --> 00:21:31,481
Ooh! "Boyle cries." I got Boyle Bingo!

504
00:21:31,565 --> 00:21:32,566
Yeah! No!

505
00:21:32,650 --> 00:21:33,651
Yeah!