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00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:09,926
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
2
00:00:09,926 --> 00:00:11,553
- RYAN CLARK: Elena!
- CHARLES: Elena!
3
00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:14,222
- Elena!
- Elena!
4
00:00:14,222 --> 00:00:19,310
DOUG: Mia! Mia! Mia!
5
00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:21,271
(EXASPERATED SIGH)
6
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Marvelous.
Eight years of pure Charles.
7
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Well, we could take it slow?
8
00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:31,406
Oh, you'll be amazed
9
00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:33,783
at how slow we're gonna take it.
Billie!
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00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:37,871
♪ ("AVENUE 5"
THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:45,128
♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
12
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:46,171
(PASSENGERS CLAMORING)
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- Iris? I-- Iris!
- I'm right here.
14
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Oh, yeah,
that's 'cause I saved you.
15
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Assert your leadership,
and don't take questions.
16
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All right, every-- everyone,
I'm the leader now,
17
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so if you need anything
at all, ask Iris!
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She has nothing for you!
19
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Hey, all my meds
are on the other ship.
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Oh. (CHUCKLES) Well,
I admire your optimism.
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Someone needs to tell us
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- if we're in the dead zone!
- (JUDD CLEARS THROAT)
23
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If this is indeed the dead zone,
then I knew that already,
24
00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:13,198
and wanted to be with you,
the proletariat, at the end.
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You're welcome.
26
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- That's a beautiful sentiment.
- And it's true!
27
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You didn't need to add that.
That creates doubt
that wasn't there.
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- (PASSENGERS CLAMORING)
- (ALARMS BLARING)
29
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This is my life. God knows
it's not much of one,
30
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but again and again, Judd
just wipes his nose with it.
31
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Focus, focus, focus.
32
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I'm gonna keep saying "focus"
until you focus.
33
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I-- I think I can help.
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Jaz, track the asteroid.
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Billie, find out what we've got
and they haven't.
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BILLIE MCEVOY: Okay, so we have
got the engines, the thrusters,
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the ice rink, the bingo machine,
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the nav computers,
and six go-karts.
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And they have... Oh, God,
they have the eels.
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Who's got the cannibal?
41
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Uh, I believe we do,
but we also have Frank.
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Great. So, if we end up
eating each other,
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at least we'll have
a nice garnish.
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Well, a garnish.
45
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Signal's back.
46
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Elena?
47
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Ryan, what is happening?
48
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:03,331
Ah, well, it-- it seems like I--
49
00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:05,041
I might have dropped
a bit of a bollock.
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- (PASSENGERS CLAMORING)
- Ry-- Ryan? Mierda!
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00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:08,795
But it's all gonna be okay.
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00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:09,963
(COMM STATIC CRACKLES)
53
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Well, that's going in
The Guinness Book of Lies.
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00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,550
Jaz, will you get
the comms back online?
55
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Well, the transmitter's
in the front half.
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00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:17,095
Those who know how to work it
are in the back.
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Well, tell the front
to fix it!
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Well, we can't,
because there's no signal.
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Look, just fucking sort it,
will you? Now!
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You're just yelling impossible
instructions at people!
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I know! Now get on it!
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Sorry, I have now fixed it, actually.
63
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I forgot about the backup.
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00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:32,735
See? Sometimes it works.
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Knock-knock. Not a joke.
I think I can help.
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- BILLIE: Okay,
I'm really focusing...
- No, Spike, this is...
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- this is not the moment.
- ...on what we've gotta do
right now, so...
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RYAN: Um, I'd--
I'd make that seven.
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You know, ev--
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Mommy's gonna be fine.
We're gonna be fine.
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It's gonna be like one of those
old-timey comedies,
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where a guy gets left in charge
of a newborn baby...
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- (PASSENGERS SHOUTING)
- (WEAK CHUCKLE) ...and gets hit
with a missile.
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So more like a dramedy.
Okay? A dramedy.
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- (COMM RINGS)
- Okay, Doug?
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Mia!
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Okay, Doug, support her head!
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Support her head,
raise her bilingual,
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00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,141
and never let her
date a drummer!
80
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- Should I write this down?
Oh shit!
- (BABY WAILS)
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- Did you just drop our baby?
- (BABY CRIES)
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MIA: What happened?
83
00:03:08,646 --> 00:03:11,399
Uh, okay, we've got 90 percent
of the cabins, the gym,
84
00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:13,568
the bridge, but nothing
that the bridge controls,
85
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apart from the lights.
86
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,821
We've got the basketball courts,
but they've got the basketballs.
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- And we've got the spa.
- IRIS KIMURA: All right.
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Well, we'll need it after miming
all that basketball.
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00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:21,701
Oh, and we've got the eels!
90
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Oh, good,
'cause I'm fucking starving.
91
00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:27,373
My kid is in the other half.
I want to see my kid!
92
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God, um...
93
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Do you have another kid
that you could focus on?
94
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(SHOUTING) Rav!
(QUIETLY) I'm sorry.
95
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- Rav!
- RAV MULCAIR: What? What?
96
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DOUG: Mia's breasts,
actually, all of Mia,
97
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are back on the other side
of the ship.
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- What should I do to feed her?
- I don't know, Doug!
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Take it to a restaurant,
give it a menu!
100
00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:41,763
Does anyone know
how to breastfeed?
101
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Yes, me! I am this child's
biological father and I'm ready.
102
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Love will accomplish
what science hasn't.
103
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How did this just get worse?
104
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Bridge is closed. Get out.
Man your posts.
105
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The seat of power so long
denied to me by my enemies.
106
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Except there is no seat.
Can we bring in a seat?
107
00:03:56,986 --> 00:03:58,154
No. Sitting is weak.
108
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And you won't be able to see
over the wheel, so...
109
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,576
(PASSENGERS SHOUTING)
110
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Shut the door. Shut it!
111
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:08,289
Okay, we can hunker down
in here for now.
112
00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:11,000
You can't hunker
from a missile, Karen.
113
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My whole life is flashing
before my eyes, honey.
114
00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:15,713
Kindergarten, I excelled.
Middle school, harder.
115
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Puberty was like a bungee jump
without a rope. And now...
116
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- Frank, do not tailspin.
- Okay.
117
00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:24,639
We're gonna stay here
and nest and be safe.
118
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Like a couple of hermit crabs.
119
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Ooh.
(WHISPERING) Cleaning vinegar.
120
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You soak
one inch of cloth, honey,
121
00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:33,648
it becomes semi-edible tofu!
122
00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:35,858
No more cooking, Frank. Really.
123
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I feel like I've eaten
six bathrooms.
124
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All right, you two,
I want constant updates
125
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on the asteroid.
126
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It's our prize
if we don't go boom.
127
00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:45,868
Jaz, how long have we got?
128
00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:47,203
Fifty-five minutes.
129
00:04:47,203 --> 00:04:50,790
Oh, God, 55 minutes. It's like
walking towards the guillotine.
130
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:53,126
If the guillotine was
55 minutes' walk away.
131
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,919
(KNOCKS) Excuse me.
Hello. I have a plan--
132
00:04:54,919 --> 00:04:57,338
- No, Spike.
- Spike, really,
we don't wanna hear it, okay?
133
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I'm dying.
134
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I can sacrifice myself
to save the ship.
135
00:05:03,928 --> 00:05:05,096
What?
136
00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:09,475
Um, I had, uh, had chest pain.
Got a medical machine scan.
137
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:13,354
Inoperable prolapsed
mitral valve. Calcified to fuck.
138
00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:15,940
- Well, how--
- How long? Three weeks.
139
00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:17,900
No, Spike,
how are we gonna save the ship?
140
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:21,404
Well, we have a, uh,
a one-man escape pod.
141
00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:24,657
I can hop into it. I can fly
straight into the missile.
142
00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:31,539
One man absorbs the blow,
6,000 say, "Thanks, pal."
143
00:05:36,335 --> 00:05:37,378
Can he do that?
144
00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:41,340
Uh, in theory, yeah,
he can do that. You can...
145
00:05:41,340 --> 00:05:44,552
So you-- you would fly
into the missile...
146
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:49,057
and... and fuck me,
we all get to live!
147
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,892
BILLIE: (LAUGHING)
Yeah, we all get to live!
148
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:54,604
- This is-- this is joyous news!
- Oh my god! (LAUGHING)
149
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:56,314
I mean, it's-- not for you.
150
00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:57,523
- BILLIE: No.
- RYAN: Obviously.
151
00:05:57,523 --> 00:06:00,568
- But-- but joyous!
- (BILLIE LAUGHS)
152
00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:02,236
And also unbelievably sad.
153
00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:04,947
Unspeakable sorrow.
154
00:06:04,947 --> 00:06:07,658
♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS, FADES) ♪
155
00:06:07,658 --> 00:06:09,660
If any of you guys have
last requests,
156
00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:12,747
or you want to unburden yourself
of some family secret,
157
00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:13,831
now's the time.
158
00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:16,250
I wanna go back to Earth,
hold this baby up
159
00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:18,461
like a lion cub in front of
Mia's evil sister,
160
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:20,296
and say,
"Who's barren now, bitch?
161
00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:22,757
Tell me, Paulina,
who the fuck is barren now?"
162
00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:26,219
Heh. Paulina would look so dumb.
Good one, Doug.
163
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,428
(CONSOLE CHIMES)
164
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,263
Oh. I may need that.
165
00:06:29,263 --> 00:06:30,473
It's all gone fucksy-daisy
out there.
166
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,809
We need an urgent plan
to deal with the missile.
167
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:34,852
Right. Uh, I ran a crisis
management course
168
00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:36,979
that I did not attend.
I've got this.
169
00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:39,607
(ALARM SOUNDS)
170
00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:41,234
- (ALARM STOPS)
- Mm.
171
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:45,655
Hello, this is Commander Judd
of Avenue 5. Both of them.
172
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:48,616
Come in, Earth. I repeat,
come in, you assholes.
173
00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:50,618
Uh, we need help,
so maybe don't lead
174
00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:52,286
with calling everyone
on Earth an asshole.
175
00:06:52,286 --> 00:06:53,746
- (COMM CHIMES)
- Mia!
176
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,665
- Doug!
- Are you still in the bathroom?
I'm gonna help you escape,
177
00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:57,291
- but very quietly.
- Okay, okay!
178
00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:58,960
Yeah, listen,
take the electric toothbrush--
179
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,753
What, am I gonna veneer
my way outta this?
180
00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:02,171
No, no, no,
take the head off of it
181
00:07:02,171 --> 00:07:04,006
- and there's gonna be
a pointy bit there.
- Okay.
182
00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:06,008
And I want you to drill
a hole in the wall.
183
00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:07,343
I saw it in a movie once.
184
00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:08,511
All right, I'm... I'm ready.
185
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:09,720
Don't hit any wires.
186
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,181
This ship is so cheap,
there probably aren't any wires.
187
00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:13,724
(DRILLING)
188
00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:15,810
(YELPS)
I'm through, I'm through.
189
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:16,853
Okay, good.
190
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,437
This is a very small hole, Doug.
191
00:07:18,437 --> 00:07:19,939
Try to shout through it now.
192
00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:24,735
Hello! Hello! I drilled a hole
in the wall! I'm really sorry!
193
00:07:24,735 --> 00:07:27,155
- (CLEARS THROAT)
- FRIENDLY FEMALE VOICE:
(OVER RADIO) This message...
194
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,489
- What are you doing?
- HERMAN JUDD: Shh!
195
00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:30,158
- FRIENDLY VOICE:
People of Avenue 5...
- Oh my god.
196
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:32,160
FRIENDLY VOICE:
...you're being sent
this message to save you...
197
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,202
It could actually be God.
198
00:07:33,202 --> 00:07:34,662
Is God single?
Because she sounds amazing.
199
00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:36,873
It's not God, it's a woman
that does detergent commercials,
200
00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:37,874
but knock yourself out.
201
00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:39,500
FRIENDLY VOICE:
People of Avenue 5,
202
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,752
you are being sent this message
to save you...
203
00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:43,588
(GASPS)
I'm gonna go out there
204
00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:45,882
and I'm gonna tell them
about the Space Siren.
205
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,383
Yes, that's what
I'm calling her.
206
00:07:47,383 --> 00:07:48,801
Everybody,
207
00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:51,554
- I have amazing news!
- Hello? Uh, my name is
Herman Twam Judd,
208
00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:53,806
and I am a very highly
influential figure.
209
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,766
Type my name into
any search engine.
210
00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:57,768
Uh, please ignore
the smear campaigns.
211
00:07:58,686 --> 00:08:00,897
FRIENDLY VOICE:
People of Avenue 5,
212
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:02,982
you are being sent this message
to save you...
213
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:05,526
- (RADIO CRACKLES)
- FRIENDLY VOICE:
...any doubt that this missile
214
00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:08,696
will eradicate you
in 27 minutes.
215
00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:10,031
They are all assholes.
216
00:08:10,948 --> 00:08:13,659
♪ (RAPID ELECTRONIC
MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
217
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:16,704
It's just hit me.
Spike is gonna die.
218
00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:19,332
- That's just hit you?
- I should write a eulogy
219
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,292
befitting his massive humanity.
220
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:22,960
Actually, that's--
no, that's rather good.
221
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:24,712
- You should write that down.
- I will, amen to that.
222
00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:26,589
- RYAN: Make a note of that.
- BILLIE: I will, for sure.
223
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:29,425
So now, you've got to call Judd
and make nice, okay?
224
00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:32,011
You've gotta get on.
225
00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:34,805
- ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
- RYAN: (IN AMERICAN ACCENT)
Hey, Herman, my Judd-bud...
226
00:08:34,805 --> 00:08:37,266
(DROPS ACCENT)
...it's Ryan here! Ha!
227
00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:39,060
How the other half lives, eh?
228
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:42,355
Listen, if we beat the missile,
we need to work together.
229
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,232
We've got some really nice stuff
over here.
230
00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:45,816
Um, we've got...
231
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:48,778
Um... linen?
232
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:51,405
We've got linens,
we've got...
233
00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:54,200
The-- all the condiments,
the condiments.
234
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,952
- We've got the condiments.
- Condiments.
235
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:57,912
Sixty large yoga balls.
236
00:08:57,912 --> 00:08:59,789
- (WHISPERING) What do we have?
- (MOUTHING SILENTLY)
237
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,082
We have...
238
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,751
Oh. We've got... waves.
239
00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:05,795
- (MOUTHING SILENTLY)
- Oh! Eels!
240
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:08,130
Just fucking say eels.
We have eels.
241
00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:09,882
Don't let him think he's won.
Because he has,
242
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:11,300
but don't let him think
that he's won.
243
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,844
In the kingdom of the eels,
the man with the eels is king.
244
00:09:13,844 --> 00:09:16,806
- I'm not gonna say that.
- RYAN: I was thinking maybe...
245
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:19,642
twenty toilet rolls per eel?
246
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:22,478
Because we've got
the toilet rolls.
247
00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:24,855
So unless you wanna wipe
your arse with an eel,
248
00:09:24,855 --> 00:09:26,941
and I'm sorry even for
putting that sentence out there,
249
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:28,192
I think you might wanna trade.
250
00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:30,486
You know what else we've got
in the front half, Ryan?
251
00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:31,612
The light controls.
252
00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:32,780
RYAN: Oh, for--
253
00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:34,073
JUDD: What are the eels
worth to you, Ryan?
254
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:36,409
RYAN: It's like negotiating
with an evil doll.
255
00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:40,371
BILLIE: Oh, Spike's ready.
We gotta go. We gotta go.
256
00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:41,455
Okay. We'll think about it!
257
00:09:41,455 --> 00:09:43,124
JUDD: So will we,
but we'll think faster.
258
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:44,458
Oh! Here's one.
259
00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:46,919
"He died as he lived... alone."
260
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:49,171
By 18 months,
she should be talking.
261
00:09:49,171 --> 00:09:52,091
Twenty-four months, I'd like
fully formed sentences.
262
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:53,676
According to the plan,
it was 32 months
263
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:55,761
- for fully formed sentences.
- Fuck the plan, Doug.
264
00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:57,305
- We're going rogue.
- Don't panic.
265
00:09:57,305 --> 00:10:00,016
Together we will consensually
co-parent this child.
266
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:02,518
Doug, keep Mads
away from my baby!
267
00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:04,020
- (BANGING BEHIND WALL)
- He's too good-looking!
268
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:06,981
He's never had to think about
anything in his entire life!
269
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,316
MAINTENANCE WORKER:
Hello? Hello?
270
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:10,568
- (BANGING)
- Oh my god! What's happening?
271
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,069
MAINTENANCE WORKER:
Hello, lady.
272
00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:13,154
Oh, thank god!
273
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,114
I thought I was gonna die
on the toilet
274
00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:17,658
like my fifth-grade math tutor!
275
00:10:17,658 --> 00:10:20,202
Matt, I wanna marry Ryan.
And Charles.
276
00:10:20,202 --> 00:10:23,998
I wanna make this big, weird
family official. Right, kids?
277
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:24,957
- PALOMA: Yeah.
- Yeah.
278
00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:28,002
You, me, Daddy,
and Captain Daddy.
279
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:30,046
(LAUGHS) Marriage of the damned.
280
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,464
- (SIGHS)
- MATT SPENCER: Beautiful.
281
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:32,590
Uh, my guess is,
282
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,633
the wedding booth
on level five is free,
283
00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:37,219
but I can't do it
because I'm manufacturing
284
00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:39,639
a death apparatus
to incinerate myself.
285
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,390
Great. All right. Let's go.
286
00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:42,892
- Thank you.
- MATT: Mazel tov.
287
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:45,561
(PASSENGERS CHEERING)
288
00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:47,438
PASSENGER 1: My hero, Spike!
289
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:52,693
PASSENGER 2: Whoo! Go Spike!
290
00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:57,573
(APPLAUSE FADES)
291
00:10:57,573 --> 00:10:58,866
What did I miss?
292
00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:01,285
Spike's killing himself,
but it's a good thing.
293
00:11:01,285 --> 00:11:03,788
Oh, good.
I hope he's gonna be okay.
294
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:08,042
Elena wants to marry us.
We're going to be hus-boths.
295
00:11:09,126 --> 00:11:10,586
- Are we?
- Yeah.
296
00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:14,590
Wow! God, marriage and death
on one day.
297
00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:16,634
I wish I'd worn better socks.
298
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:19,387
Congratulations!
Grooms in da room.
299
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:20,429
(CHUCKLES)
300
00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:22,139
It won't be real
because you can't consummate,
301
00:11:22,139 --> 00:11:24,475
but I'm absolutely
thrilled for you.
302
00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:26,352
Billie, do you think
this is gonna work?
303
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:28,354
BILLIE: Uh, yeah. It should.
304
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,523
Oh! You mean your marriage. No.
305
00:11:30,981 --> 00:11:34,902
(APPLAUSE)
306
00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:37,947
Uh, I'm gonna read out
some tributes to Spike.
307
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:40,199
Hope this doesn't
turn into a roast.
308
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:41,826
PASSENGER 3:
No, that comes later!
309
00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:44,245
(EXHALES SHARPLY, CHUCKLES)
310
00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:48,499
Uh, I think, yes.
This is from Craig, cabin 631.
311
00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:51,502
"We never spoke,
but I like astronauts."
312
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:54,255
Sorry, I-- I haven't
had time to...
313
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:55,714
Captain, I think we need
to move this...
314
00:11:55,714 --> 00:11:57,800
- Yes! Yes. Yes. Absolutely.
- It's ready, so...
315
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,009
Uh... Oh, look,
316
00:11:59,009 --> 00:12:00,845
- there's one here from Frank.
- Hi, buddy.
317
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,930
"Spike, thank you for
Cuddle Club.
318
00:12:02,930 --> 00:12:05,057
The way your body melted
into mine
319
00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:07,476
felt more like home
than anything I've ever known."
320
00:12:07,476 --> 00:12:09,645
"Than anything
I've ever known," Frank?
321
00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:12,022
-"Than anything
I've ever known?"
- Sorry.
322
00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:13,482
We're just wasting fuel
at this point.
323
00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:15,568
Okay, we're done, then,
with this bit. I think...
324
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:16,819
Yes. Yes, absolutely.
325
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,279
- Spike, any last words?
- (SIGHS)
326
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:21,615
Uh, yes, it-- There's
something I'd like to say.
327
00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:24,160
I've, uh, been...
328
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:27,496
I guess been building up
to saying this my whole life.
329
00:12:27,496 --> 00:12:29,290
- Most--
- Yeah, Spike, I think we get it.
330
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:30,624
- That's... yeah.
- Oh. Oh.
331
00:12:30,624 --> 00:12:32,918
- So we can...
- I-- I understand. I understand.
332
00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:34,545
(PASSENGERS APPLAUD)
333
00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:36,464
- Here we go, Spike.
- Spike, uh, listen.
334
00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:38,007
I've-- I've written a eulogy
for you myself.
335
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:40,050
And I'm really pleased with
the way it's coming together.
336
00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:41,552
I don't wanna rush it,
but I have to go
337
00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:43,345
- and get married, so Godspeed.
- BILLIE: Yeah. Bye.
338
00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:44,972
- All right?
- Bye. Forever.
339
00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:48,642
- Any tips on how to fly her?
- PAUL: It's an escape pod.
340
00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:50,352
You just sit in it
while it escapes.
341
00:12:50,352 --> 00:12:52,271
You remember
who you're talking to.
342
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:53,898
I landed a module on Mars!
343
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:55,483
Yeah, well, you're definitely
qualified to sit
344
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:57,443
in an escape pod then,
but then so is a potato.
345
00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,570
- (COMPUTER BEEPS)
- AUTOMATED VOICE:
Launch sequence initiated.
346
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:01,197
Okay, uh, well, safe trip.
347
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:03,532
Uh, not safe, obviously,
but trip.
348
00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:07,828
- (DOOR SLAMS)
- AUTOMATED VOICE:
Ten, nine, eight, seven...
349
00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:10,664
six, five, four...
350
00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:13,501
three, two, one.
351
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:15,669
- (ENGINE POWERING UP)
- AUTOMATED VOICE: Launch.
352
00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:21,133
♪ (DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
353
00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:26,847
{\an8}♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
354
00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:28,557
(KISSES)
355
00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:29,725
Bye, Rav.
356
00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:33,395
(KISSES)
357
00:13:33,395 --> 00:13:36,690
Hello! Hello, everyone, sorry,
sorry to keep you waiting, uh,
358
00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:39,026
I've just been wishing Spike
a happy obliteration.
359
00:13:39,026 --> 00:13:40,736
- Uh, who's got--
- BILLIE: Take your seats,
everyone!
360
00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:42,363
Take your seats anywhere--
Not there, not there!
361
00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:44,240
- It's fine. You're fine.
- BILLIE: Move it down, please!
362
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,158
You're here now. Let's, uh,
let's get a wiggle on,
363
00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:47,326
make this puppy legal.
364
00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:49,245
Yeah, all right,
wind your neck in, Charles.
365
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:50,496
This is for Elena.
366
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:53,415
She'll make a lovely bride.
I imagine. She's not here.
367
00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:55,209
I knew you'd be here.
368
00:13:55,209 --> 00:13:57,294
Have you come
as an Arctic sniper?
369
00:13:57,294 --> 00:13:59,713
Wha-- wha--
Or are you the next pope? What?
370
00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:01,298
You needed witnesses. I'm here.
371
00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:03,300
- Yeah, you'll do.
- Can we just move this along?
372
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:05,803
- Who's got the, uh, the, the--
- BILLIE: Frank, Frank!
373
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,846
- RYAN: Frank! Frank! Let's go.
- Oh, yeah. (LAUGHS)
374
00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:11,767
♪ (WEDDING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
375
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:13,852
Okay, Captain, we've really
gotta move it, okay?
376
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:16,313
Elena, could you...
377
00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:21,235
Okay, uh, Frank. Hit wedding.
378
00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:22,653
Hey, hey, you virgins!
379
00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:25,406
I bet tonight's gonna get
all sorts of fuckin' nasty.
380
00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:29,243
But before we get there,
"Let's Get Hitched
with Herman Judd."
381
00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:30,869
Fuck it, no! No! Stop, stop!
382
00:14:30,869 --> 00:14:32,413
I'm-- Stop it. I can't do this.
383
00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:36,709
I cannot get married
under Judd's watchful nipples.
384
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,210
Okay, we're gonna do this
somewhere else.
385
00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:39,587
Elena, we'll just be
one minute.
386
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,630
- ELENA: Okay.
- Much nicer, uh, other place.
387
00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:43,132
- All right?
- Okay, mi amor. Okay.
388
00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:45,217
- RYAN: Come on, everybody.
- You heard him!
Let's go, let's go!
389
00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:46,969
Keep it moving,
let's go, go, go!
390
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:48,137
Where are we going?
391
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:49,972
RYAN: An open sewer would be
better than this.
392
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,974
♪ (RAPID ELECTRONIC
MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
393
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:53,058
I need you to marry us.
394
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:54,685
Ryan doesn't want
Judd doing it, so...
395
00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:57,062
That seems so sad.
Someone on their deathbed,
396
00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:59,023
{\an8}marrying three people
on their deathbeds,
397
00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:01,150
in a giant deathbed factory.
398
00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:04,903
Just say the vows, you prick.
Okay? Great.
399
00:15:04,903 --> 00:15:06,614
(FURNITURE SCRAPING
ACROSS FLOOR)
400
00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:07,781
(RYAN GROANS)
401
00:15:07,781 --> 00:15:09,325
Yeah, let's just do it here.
I'm tired of running.
402
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:10,284
Okay.
403
00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:11,785
It's as bad as anywhere else,
I suppose.
404
00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:13,203
Everybody, get a seat.
405
00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:14,663
Who's got the, uh...
406
00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:16,624
- Yep, yep, yep!
- RYAN: Oh, Frank's still got it.
All right, let's go.
407
00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:17,916
♪ (ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
408
00:15:17,916 --> 00:15:20,794
(CLEARS THROAT) No, no, no,
skip that bit, skip that.
409
00:15:20,794 --> 00:15:24,423
Dearly beloved slash condemned,
uh, we're gathered here today
410
00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:28,385
to celebrate the joyous slash
heartbreaking union
411
00:15:28,385 --> 00:15:30,846
of you three people
as you commit to spending
412
00:15:30,846 --> 00:15:34,350
the rest of your harrowingly
short lives together.
413
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,185
- (PASSENGERS CLAMORING)
- Okay, everyone, listen!
414
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:37,811
Listen, I've got it!
415
00:15:37,811 --> 00:15:38,854
Okay.
416
00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:40,731
Do they think
Rav's in charge here?
417
00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:42,566
This is either the first
or the final stage
418
00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:44,151
of carbon monoxide poisoning.
419
00:15:44,151 --> 00:15:46,862
Um, how about we
kill the engine, the lights,
420
00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:49,323
the power,
we go completely dark.
421
00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:51,533
The missile passes us by. Boom!
422
00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:54,370
I mean, the opposite of boom,
hopefully, but who's with me?
423
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:56,997
(CROWD CHEERING)
424
00:15:56,997 --> 00:15:58,499
Do you, Potential Spouse One,
425
00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:01,877
take Potential Spouse Two
as your lawfully wedded spouse?
426
00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:04,380
Not massively clear,
but yes, I do.
427
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:06,423
And do you,
Potential Spouse Two,
428
00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:09,218
take Spouse One
as your lawfully wedded spouse?
429
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:10,219
I do.
430
00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:11,637
Will you stop mouthing along?
431
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:12,888
I'm being an effing witness!
432
00:16:12,888 --> 00:16:14,765
(WHISPERING) Boundaries,
honey, please.
433
00:16:14,765 --> 00:16:18,602
Okay, everybody, uh, get ready!
Get ready, find a space.
434
00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:20,020
Okay, here goes.
435
00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:23,691
And since you are a throuple,
do you, Potential Spouse Three,
436
00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:25,859
take Confirmed Spouses
One and Two
437
00:16:25,859 --> 00:16:27,611
as your lawfully wedded spouses?
438
00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:29,238
Disable systems!
439
00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:30,864
(SYSTEM POWERS DOWN)
440
00:16:30,864 --> 00:16:32,491
RYAN: What happened?
Where-- where did she go?
441
00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:34,159
I didn't-- I didn't touch,
I didn't do any--
442
00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:35,703
- I didn't touch it.
- We've gotta finish it.
443
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:37,705
She... she didn't say her vows.
444
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,915
Does that mean
just us are married?
445
00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:43,919
Oh, tits.
446
00:16:43,919 --> 00:16:48,882
I mean... (CLEARS THROAT)
Uh, I said "I do," so...
447
00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:50,259
BILLIE: So I think we're good.
448
00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:52,136
Because we still have
a missile to stop
449
00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:54,430
and an asteroid to harvest
before we cut the cake.
450
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:56,181
Wait, did you just
marry Karen?
451
00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:57,224
- No!
- KAREN KELLY: Maybe.
452
00:16:57,224 --> 00:16:58,475
FRANK KELLY:
You married my wife?
453
00:16:58,475 --> 00:17:00,853
- Yes, I think so.
- Mazel tov. Captain!
454
00:17:02,396 --> 00:17:04,398
If you hadn't dithered,
we'd be done by now.
455
00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:06,066
If we survive this,
I will annul you.
456
00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:07,776
- You don't mean that.
- FRANK: I thought you were
457
00:17:07,776 --> 00:17:09,695
- just a witness.
- I think we're married, honey.
458
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,113
- Charles?
- Hmm?
459
00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:12,156
Oh! Oh.
460
00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:15,868
(LAUGHING) I'm just
a happy bride!
461
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,494
RAV: (WHISPERING LOUDLY)
Everyone!
462
00:17:17,494 --> 00:17:20,080
We need total silence.
463
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,460
IRIS: (WHISPERING)
You should challenge that.
464
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:26,378
- JUDD: (WHISPERING) Hey Rav?
- RAV: What?
465
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:28,464
- JUDD: You mean total silence?
- RAV: Yes!
466
00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:29,798
JUDD:
That doesn't seem possible.
467
00:17:29,798 --> 00:17:31,467
- IRIS: Great challenge.
- JUDD: We should go.
468
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:33,218
RAV: Oh my god, guys! Shush!
469
00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:40,684
MATT: (WHISPERING)
Guys, I'm kind of hoping
that we die now.
470
00:17:40,684 --> 00:17:42,144
Is-- is that strange?
471
00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:44,480
RAV: (STRANGLED WHISPER)
Four words. Shut the fuck up!
472
00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:47,900
JUDD:
That's actually five words.
473
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,610
RAV: Shush!
474
00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:51,320
JUDD: (TALKING NORMALLY)
Wait, no, it's four. My bad.
475
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,864
RAV: (TALKING NORMALLY)
Just shut up! Just shut up.
Everyone, shut up.
476
00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:55,616
You have gotta call Lucas.
477
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:57,951
I grabbed this
just before the split,
478
00:17:57,951 --> 00:18:01,955
- so you could call Lucas!
- Oh, you little beauty.
479
00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:03,957
Not you. I mean, not,
not that you're not--
480
00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:05,834
Oh my god, Ryan, I don't care,
just do the call.
481
00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:09,254
{\an8}- (COMM RINGING)
- (MONITOR CHIMES)
482
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,298
Ryan! How you doing?
483
00:18:11,298 --> 00:18:13,342
Lucas, we have good news.
484
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:14,510
LUCAS SATO: Hey! Hey!
485
00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:16,595
{\an8}RYAN: The missile is not going
to hit us now.
486
00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:19,097
{\an8}And even better news,
we're about to harvest
487
00:18:19,097 --> 00:18:20,516
a large amount of lithium,
488
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:23,268
so suck, as it were, on that.
489
00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:25,187
{\an8}How exactly
are you gonna get this lithium?
490
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:28,816
{\an8}We propose to trade the lithium
for a rescue.
491
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:30,651
Yeah, and a proper rescue,
not just some guy
492
00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:32,027
with a headlamp
and an energy bar.
493
00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:34,655
RYAN: And in return, we will
save you from extinction.
494
00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:36,615
How does that sound?
Pretty good, I would think.
495
00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:38,534
How are we doing on the eulogy?
496
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:39,701
- JAZ: Billie?
- Yeah?
497
00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:40,744
{\an8}Ryan?
498
00:18:40,744 --> 00:18:41,995
Oh, shit, Captain!
499
00:18:41,995 --> 00:18:44,164
- Captain, they've gone dark!
- Ryan?
500
00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:45,874
BILLIE:
They switched their lights off
501
00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:47,751
so that the missile
latches onto us!
502
00:18:47,751 --> 00:18:48,836
Ryan?
503
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:50,754
BILLIE: Such a low-down,
shitty thing to do!
504
00:18:50,754 --> 00:18:52,256
Why the fuck
didn't I think of that?
505
00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:54,633
- JAZ: What's he doing?
- (CONSOLE BEEPING)
506
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:56,885
Do missiles go
for flashing lights?
507
00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:58,053
I thought that was moths.
508
00:18:58,053 --> 00:18:59,888
You there? No? Fuck.
509
00:18:59,888 --> 00:19:01,139
Hold on, Lucas!
510
00:19:01,139 --> 00:19:03,058
I gotta speak
to this demented toddler.
511
00:19:03,058 --> 00:19:04,268
- Judd!
- JUDD: Oh, hey, Ryan.
512
00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:06,270
If you want your lights
back on--
513
00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:07,855
And eels, if we survive.
514
00:19:07,855 --> 00:19:12,693
And eels, if we survive, then
we're gonna need some linens,
515
00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:17,072
five thousand toilet rolls,
half the medicine, and mustard.
516
00:19:17,072 --> 00:19:19,032
We want all the mustard.
517
00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:20,409
(WHISPERING) You like mustard.
518
00:19:21,159 --> 00:19:22,202
Just say fucking, "Yes!"
519
00:19:22,202 --> 00:19:24,997
You can have the absolutely
irrelevant mustard.
520
00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:31,044
"Corporeal bonds." I like that.
521
00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:32,629
Yeah. Okay.
522
00:19:32,629 --> 00:19:36,508
And also, uh, "Brave..."
No. "Noble..."
523
00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:38,552
"Brave-slash-noble humanity."
That'll do for now.
524
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:40,470
- Great. Great.
- Lucas, you still there?
525
00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:42,723
Yes, I am still here,
and I'm not the one who's got
526
00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:44,266
a missile heading towards me,
by the way,
527
00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:45,684
so I'm gonna need some details
of this plan.
528
00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:48,020
Okay, Spike's closing in
on the missile. Five minutes.
529
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,897
- Put him on. Where is the...
- Okay. I'll get the eulogy.
530
00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:52,316
- JAZ: That one.
- I'll get the-- I'm getting
the eulogy up. Okay.
531
00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:54,735
LUCAS: Ryan. Ryan?
532
00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:56,236
- Spike Martin.
- JUDD: Oh, and Ryan,
533
00:19:56,236 --> 00:19:58,030
we're gonna need
all the pillows, too.
534
00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,239
BILLIE: Go, go, go, go, go!
535
00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:01,158
♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
536
00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:05,162
Judd! Fuck the pillows!
You can sleep on the mustard!
537
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:11,960
Spike Martin.
Godspeed, old friend.
538
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,546
Know this. We will honor you
539
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,465
and the noble-slash-braves...
540
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:20,844
the braves... sacrifice
that you will have made,
541
00:20:20,844 --> 00:20:22,346
all of our lives.
542
00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:23,805
(WHISPERING)
I really don't like that.
543
00:20:23,805 --> 00:20:25,265
Well, you told me
to put a slash.
544
00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:26,892
- Well, yeah-- I know--
- BILLIE: But it was
either-or, so...
545
00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:28,977
- But I couldn't
read that, could I?
- I think he liked it.
546
00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:30,187
- RYAN: Spike?
- (COMM BEEPS)
547
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,314
That's badly written.
548
00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:34,066
(ENGINES RUMBLING)
549
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:36,109
Ooh, seat warmer.
550
00:20:36,109 --> 00:20:38,946
Fancy a last blast
of fun down there.
551
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:41,531
- (CONSOLE BUZZES)
- AUTOMATED VOICE:
Medical scan selected.
552
00:20:41,531 --> 00:20:42,741
Cholesterol, high.
553
00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:44,618
I like butter, so fuck you.
554
00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:48,038
You will live on,
in our hearts and memories.
555
00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:50,207
We will always...
556
00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:52,376
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Cardiac health, excellent.
557
00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:54,252
What?
558
00:20:54,252 --> 00:20:56,004
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Minor inflammation
in the left ventricle.
559
00:20:56,004 --> 00:20:59,633
May flag as mitral valve
prolapse if incorrectly scanned.
560
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:01,343
Treatment, aspirin.
561
00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:03,470
Wait... the robot was wrong?
562
00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:05,681
...as you slip
these corporeal bonds
563
00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:07,975
and take your rightful place
in the firmament--
564
00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:09,518
- JUDD: Oh, and Ryan, um...
- Jesus Christ!
565
00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:12,270
We're only gonna be able to send
one crate of eels a month.
566
00:21:12,270 --> 00:21:14,106
- I hope that's okay.
- BILLIE: Okay, okay, okay.
567
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:15,649
- Uh...
- (COMM CLICKS ON)
568
00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:19,319
Will you fuck massively
and totally off?
569
00:21:19,319 --> 00:21:21,029
- LUCAS: Who's talking now?
- Not you, Lucas.
570
00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:22,781
Lucas?
571
00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:27,160
- Your fearlessness
will inspire ge--
- SPIKE MARTIN: I'm not doing it.
572
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,162
- Hello? Spike?
- I'm not doing it.
573
00:21:29,162 --> 00:21:30,414
You're not doing what?
574
00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:32,124
I'm gonna live!
575
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:33,834
So I'm turning
the escape pod around.
576
00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:35,669
Well, I think we all knew
that was gonna happen.
577
00:21:35,669 --> 00:21:37,087
No! No, no, no, Spike.
578
00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:38,463
You grow a spine, Spike,
579
00:21:38,463 --> 00:21:41,049
and you throw that spine
at the fucking missile!
580
00:21:41,049 --> 00:21:42,426
Spike is gonna fly
into the missile.
581
00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:44,136
Why are you negotiating
without me?
582
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:45,637
Oh, for fuck's sake.
583
00:21:45,637 --> 00:21:46,888
Oh, you know,
if you switch this,
584
00:21:46,888 --> 00:21:49,391
then everyone can hear everyone.
585
00:21:49,391 --> 00:21:51,059
Well, why didn't
you tell me that before--?
586
00:21:51,059 --> 00:21:52,728
Did you not see me going...?
587
00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:54,062
I wondered what that was about.
588
00:21:56,356 --> 00:21:58,358
The reason I didn't tell you, Judd,
589
00:21:58,358 --> 00:22:01,570
is because the last chats
you had with Lucas went so well
590
00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:03,321
he fired a missile at us!
591
00:22:03,321 --> 00:22:04,740
I'm a master negotiator.
592
00:22:04,740 --> 00:22:06,867
I just negotiated
for all the pillows.
593
00:22:06,867 --> 00:22:08,910
If idiocy was
an orthodox church,
594
00:22:08,910 --> 00:22:12,122
you'd be an archdeacon!
You'd be Pope Herman the Fuck!
595
00:22:12,122 --> 00:22:14,249
- Spike?
- JUDD: Well, you're not
a real man, Ryan.
596
00:22:14,249 --> 00:22:16,418
You're just a coat hanger
for despair.
597
00:22:16,418 --> 00:22:19,254
- You're a shoe tree for twat!
- Spike!
598
00:22:19,254 --> 00:22:23,425
You're unhealthy for everyone.
You're bad for us all,
599
00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:26,595
in a pure, unadulterated,
ass-banana way.
600
00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:29,931
I just came up with that word
right now. Ass-banana.
601
00:22:29,931 --> 00:22:32,476
Could you come up
with ass-banana? I doubt it.
602
00:22:32,476 --> 00:22:33,685
Stop saying ass-banana.
603
00:22:33,685 --> 00:22:35,896
Spike, please! I'm gonna need
some more information.
604
00:22:35,896 --> 00:22:40,358
Here's all the info you need.
Fuck this, I'm not doing it.
605
00:22:40,358 --> 00:22:42,819
No. Spike, you have to do it.
There's a baby in here.
606
00:22:42,819 --> 00:22:45,781
I say this with--
with lots of love.
607
00:22:45,781 --> 00:22:47,574
That baby's gonna have
to swivel.
608
00:22:47,574 --> 00:22:50,327
Spike, whatever the problem is,
you just tell us
609
00:22:50,327 --> 00:22:52,329
and we'll talk you through.
We're all here.
610
00:22:52,329 --> 00:22:53,789
- Right.
- We're all here.
611
00:22:53,789 --> 00:22:56,375
The problem is,
I'm a massive chickenshit.
612
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:58,335
- Yeah, well, he is.
- That is not helpful!
613
00:22:58,335 --> 00:23:00,378
But with the ventricles
of a 20-year-old,
614
00:23:00,378 --> 00:23:01,588
so I'm coming back!
615
00:23:01,588 --> 00:23:04,174
No! No, no, no, no, Spike,
come on, you can do this!
616
00:23:04,174 --> 00:23:05,384
- You're a hero!
- No!
617
00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:07,094
BILLIE: You've always been
a hero to us, Spike.
618
00:23:07,094 --> 00:23:09,638
(SNIFFLING) I'm-- I'm crying.
619
00:23:09,638 --> 00:23:12,307
Heroes don't-- don't--
They don't cry.
620
00:23:12,307 --> 00:23:15,018
- Oh, they totally do!
- Yeah!
621
00:23:15,018 --> 00:23:16,895
- All the time!
- BILLIE: All the time!
622
00:23:16,895 --> 00:23:18,396
RYAN: It's wonderful
that you're in touch
623
00:23:18,396 --> 00:23:19,940
- with your vulnerable side.
- (WHIMPERS)
624
00:23:19,940 --> 00:23:21,108
Having said that,
625
00:23:21,108 --> 00:23:24,236
you do absolutely have
to fucking kill yourself.
626
00:23:24,236 --> 00:23:26,238
Don't listen to him.
Listen to me.
627
00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:27,989
You really do need
to kill yourself,
628
00:23:27,989 --> 00:23:29,574
but because I said it,
not Ryan.
629
00:23:29,574 --> 00:23:32,119
AUTOMATED VOICE: Two minutes
to total eradication.
630
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:34,037
Unnecessary addition of "total."
631
00:23:34,037 --> 00:23:35,163
Uh-- oh, yes.
632
00:23:35,163 --> 00:23:37,624
Tautology at a time like this,
it's insane.
633
00:23:37,624 --> 00:23:39,626
(BREATHES DEEPLY) Okay.
634
00:23:39,626 --> 00:23:42,087
Come on, you old bastard,
you can do this.
635
00:23:43,338 --> 00:23:44,798
(EXHALES) All right, listen.
636
00:23:44,798 --> 00:23:47,759
Um, I have some frozen sperm,
and I want you to have it.
637
00:23:47,759 --> 00:23:49,511
Oh, goddammit,
you're gonna die too.
638
00:23:49,511 --> 00:23:51,054
Well, I want you
to have it anyway.
639
00:23:51,054 --> 00:23:52,764
And this isn't me
hitting on you,
640
00:23:52,764 --> 00:23:54,349
so don't get legal.
641
00:23:54,349 --> 00:23:56,184
Those are your last words to me?
642
00:23:56,184 --> 00:23:57,519
"Don't get legal"?
643
00:23:57,519 --> 00:23:59,354
(MISSILE ROARING)
644
00:24:00,647 --> 00:24:01,773
(FLAME HISSES)
645
00:24:01,773 --> 00:24:04,901
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
646
00:24:04,901 --> 00:24:05,986
(WHIMPERS)
647
00:24:07,154 --> 00:24:08,905
(CONTINUES WHIMPERING)
648
00:24:10,740 --> 00:24:11,908
Nope. I can't.
649
00:24:12,784 --> 00:24:13,827
(METAL SCRAPES)
650
00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:15,287
- Ah!
- Oh.
651
00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:17,539
- Oh!
- (GROANS)
652
00:24:17,539 --> 00:24:19,249
BILLIE: (LAUGHING)
Oh my god!
653
00:24:19,249 --> 00:24:22,127
- No, no!
- He's only gone
and accidentally saved us!
654
00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:24,045
- (LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY)
- BILLIE: Oh my God! (LAUGHS)
655
00:24:24,045 --> 00:24:25,255
He did it! (CHUCKLES)
656
00:24:25,255 --> 00:24:28,550
Lucas! I'm over several moons
to be able to inform you
657
00:24:28,550 --> 00:24:30,594
that the lithium is on its way.
658
00:24:30,594 --> 00:24:33,305
We've only gone
and saved Planet Earth.
659
00:24:33,305 --> 00:24:35,682
- You are barely welcome.
- Oh, wait, no.
660
00:24:35,682 --> 00:24:37,392
The missile looks like
it's now headed for the--
661
00:24:37,392 --> 00:24:40,145
(EXPLOSION)
662
00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:41,229
Asteroid.
663
00:24:43,273 --> 00:24:44,482
Can I call you back?
664
00:24:44,482 --> 00:24:48,195
(EXPLOSION RUMBLES)
665
00:24:48,195 --> 00:24:50,989
- (EELS SPLASHING)
- What the-- What?
666
00:24:50,989 --> 00:24:53,074
That's why
they call it a missile!
667
00:24:53,074 --> 00:24:54,242
Because it misses!
668
00:24:54,242 --> 00:24:57,370
(SOBBING AND LAUGHING)
I don't know how I feel!
669
00:24:57,370 --> 00:25:01,625
I don't know how I feel.
(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
670
00:25:01,625 --> 00:25:04,628
(EXPLOSION RUMBLES)
671
00:25:04,628 --> 00:25:06,421
RAV: Reactivate systems!
672
00:25:06,421 --> 00:25:08,465
Oh! Oh, I think I just
saved the ship!
673
00:25:08,465 --> 00:25:10,091
- I think you did!
- (PASSENGERS CHEER)
674
00:25:10,091 --> 00:25:11,134
(SHRIEKS LOUDLY)
675
00:25:11,134 --> 00:25:13,929
Oh! Oh! Adulation? (LAUGHS)
Not unpleasant.
676
00:25:13,929 --> 00:25:17,140
I might start doing cocaine
after this! (CHEERS)
677
00:25:17,140 --> 00:25:18,642
Oh, ah!
678
00:25:19,851 --> 00:25:22,729
I'm a fucking legend!
679
00:25:22,729 --> 00:25:24,147
All right, put me down,
put me down.
680
00:25:24,147 --> 00:25:28,151
All yield. All hail Rav.
All yield. All hail Rav!
681
00:25:28,151 --> 00:25:30,153
PASSENGERS: (CHANTING)
All yield! All hail Rav!
682
00:25:30,153 --> 00:25:32,405
- All yield! All hail Rav!
- (MATT LAUGHS)
683
00:25:32,405 --> 00:25:33,615
PASSENGERS: All yield!
684
00:25:33,615 --> 00:25:35,075
- All hail Rav!
- Matt, we did it!
685
00:25:35,075 --> 00:25:36,618
We're alive!
686
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:38,995
Oh, um...
687
00:25:38,995 --> 00:25:41,081
- All yield! All hail Rav!
- Hey.
688
00:25:41,081 --> 00:25:45,293
- (CHANTING FADES)
- Hi! I just wanted
to let everyone know,
689
00:25:45,293 --> 00:25:47,295
I saved us. You're welcome.
690
00:25:47,295 --> 00:25:48,505
It was nothing.
691
00:25:48,505 --> 00:25:50,215
- Yeah, you're darn right
it was nothing.
- (BABY FUSSES)
692
00:25:50,215 --> 00:25:51,466
- You did nothing.
- Yeah!
693
00:25:51,466 --> 00:25:54,386
He-- he ran away
and got fussy about bed linen.
694
00:25:54,386 --> 00:25:57,138
He's a super big sociopath,
and we should kill him!
695
00:25:57,138 --> 00:25:58,598
- PASSENGERS: Yeah!
- It's-- it's cool--
696
00:25:58,598 --> 00:25:59,724
That's against ship rules.
697
00:25:59,724 --> 00:26:02,060
Okay, we can't kill him.
It's against ship rules.
698
00:26:02,060 --> 00:26:03,853
- (PASSENGERS GROAN)
- What... what can we do?
699
00:26:03,853 --> 00:26:07,107
Uh, you know what we do
to jellyfish?
700
00:26:07,107 --> 00:26:09,442
- MADS: No?
- Is we feed them to eels.
701
00:26:09,442 --> 00:26:11,152
Oh, we can feed him to the eels!
702
00:26:11,152 --> 00:26:13,863
PASSENGERS: (CHANTING)
Feed him now! Feed him now!
703
00:26:13,863 --> 00:26:14,948
Feed him now!
704
00:26:14,948 --> 00:26:16,324
- JUDD: Uh...
- Guys?
705
00:26:16,324 --> 00:26:18,910
JUDD: I would just say that
I don't wanna be fed to eels.
706
00:26:18,910 --> 00:26:21,746
- Why?
- JUDD: Because I saved us.
707
00:26:21,746 --> 00:26:25,000
And I got us a great deal
on pillows and mustard.
708
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,167
We didn't get the pillows.
709
00:26:26,167 --> 00:26:27,335
- Fuck.
- PASSENGER: Get him!
710
00:26:27,335 --> 00:26:29,254
(PASSENGERS CLAMORING)
711
00:26:29,254 --> 00:26:31,756
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
712
00:26:33,133 --> 00:26:36,720
(PASSENGERS CLAMORING)
713
00:26:37,595 --> 00:26:39,389
They're incredibly suggestible.
714
00:26:39,389 --> 00:26:41,349
PASSENGERS:
715
00:26:41,349 --> 00:26:44,227
To the eels!
To the eels! To the eels!
716
00:26:45,061 --> 00:26:46,771
♪ (QUIET MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
717
00:26:46,771 --> 00:26:50,775
{\an8}Holy shit. That is impressive.
718
00:26:50,775 --> 00:26:53,987
Yeah. Quite the happy ending,
isn't it?
719
00:26:53,987 --> 00:26:55,989
LUCAS: All right.
Let me make some calls.
720
00:26:55,989 --> 00:26:58,825
{\an8}And, uh,
sorry about the missile.
721
00:26:58,825 --> 00:27:00,577
{\an8}- (MONITOR CHIMES)
- ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
722
00:27:00,577 --> 00:27:03,705
So is this all we managed
to save?
723
00:27:03,705 --> 00:27:04,664
Yeah.
724
00:27:04,664 --> 00:27:06,374
It could power
an electric scooter
725
00:27:06,374 --> 00:27:08,835
- for about 25 minutes.
- Uh-huh.
726
00:27:10,795 --> 00:27:12,130
So in addition to destroying
727
00:27:12,130 --> 00:27:14,549
almost all the lithium
in the galaxy,
728
00:27:14,549 --> 00:27:17,135
there's a good chance
I'm married to Karen Kelly.
729
00:27:18,678 --> 00:27:19,721
Bit of golf?
730
00:27:19,721 --> 00:27:21,097
The golf course is actually
on the other side...
731
00:27:21,097 --> 00:27:23,058
- of the ship, yeah.
- It's on the other side, yeah.
732
00:27:24,642 --> 00:27:25,560
(SIGHS)
733
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:32,192
♪ (ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
734
00:27:55,799 --> 00:27:58,843
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
735
00:28:21,825 --> 00:28:23,576
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪