1 00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:07,005 Remember that vigil for the children 2 00:00:07,089 --> 00:00:08,422 -who died in the French famine? -Très tragic. 3 00:00:08,506 --> 00:00:10,714 We need to shit on that vigil. How do we do that? 4 00:00:10,798 --> 00:00:12,839 -Actors. -They gotta be sad-looking 5 00:00:12,923 --> 00:00:13,714 and non-union. 6 00:00:13,923 --> 00:00:15,589 Hmm, one thing usually means the other. 7 00:00:16,339 --> 00:00:19,172 -Where is the real captain? -He's... 8 00:00:19,381 --> 00:00:21,172 Uh-uh. No. That's not happening. 9 00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:25,381 We are trapped here unless I show leadership. 10 00:00:25,464 --> 00:00:26,464 And I need you 11 00:00:26,547 --> 00:00:28,381 -to help me do that. -Give me one of those. 12 00:00:28,631 --> 00:00:30,422 -(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -Yes? 13 00:00:30,506 --> 00:00:32,005 What's the impact on the voyage? 14 00:00:32,214 --> 00:00:34,756 Three years plus six months. 15 00:00:34,964 --> 00:00:36,589 -(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -BILLIE MCEVOY: Do you notice 16 00:00:36,673 --> 00:00:39,798 anything about this oddly good-looking group of people? 17 00:00:40,172 --> 00:00:42,631 They're actors. Meet your real engineers. 18 00:00:42,714 --> 00:00:44,339 What is this, a betting syndicate? 19 00:00:44,422 --> 00:00:46,923 Hey, man. Uh... Captain. 20 00:00:54,089 --> 00:00:55,923 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 21 00:00:58,005 --> 00:01:01,047 (RYAN HUMS) 22 00:01:01,130 --> 00:01:04,798 Owner on the bridge. Everybody, carry on as normal. 23 00:01:04,881 --> 00:01:05,881 Why wouldn't you? 24 00:01:05,964 --> 00:01:08,464 What's going on in here? Smells tense. 25 00:01:08,547 --> 00:01:10,381 (DANISH ACCENT) Tense is my middle name. 26 00:01:10,464 --> 00:01:12,172 Tense is my middle name! 27 00:01:14,297 --> 00:01:17,923 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Oh, bugger. I'm still here. 28 00:01:18,005 --> 00:01:20,381 SPIKE MARTIN: Captain, I'm gonna get a gander on some of this stuff, 29 00:01:20,464 --> 00:01:21,714 because I think that-- 30 00:01:21,798 --> 00:01:23,547 (AMERICAN ACCENT) Oh, no! Sorry, can't... 31 00:01:23,631 --> 00:01:26,422 Can't let you see that, because then I'd have 32 00:01:26,506 --> 00:01:28,255 to sleep with you to find out what you saw, 33 00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:31,214 -and then kill you. (LAUGHS) -(LAUGHS) We've all been there! 34 00:01:31,547 --> 00:01:32,756 Oh. 35 00:01:32,839 --> 00:01:34,798 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 36 00:01:38,297 --> 00:01:42,714 Hi. I'm your captain, Ryan Clark. How are you doing? 37 00:01:42,798 --> 00:01:44,089 (ENGLISH ACCENT) No, how are you doing? 38 00:01:44,172 --> 00:01:45,422 No, how are you doing? 39 00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:46,631 You tell me. No, you tell me. 40 00:01:46,714 --> 00:01:48,881 You tell me, arsehole! 41 00:01:48,964 --> 00:01:51,047 ♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 42 00:01:58,923 --> 00:02:01,089 Let's look at what's trending this hour. 43 00:02:01,172 --> 00:02:05,422 Avenue 5 is stuck in space. I don't think I'm alone 44 00:02:05,506 --> 00:02:07,923 in thinking, "Thank fuck I'm not on that ship!" 45 00:02:08,005 --> 00:02:09,839 The passengers are angry, as I would be 46 00:02:09,923 --> 00:02:12,589 if I had their crappy lives. Good morning. 47 00:02:12,673 --> 00:02:13,839 MAN: Shove your attitude. 48 00:02:13,923 --> 00:02:15,631 Anyone giving negative comments should be blacklisted 49 00:02:15,714 --> 00:02:17,964 from all future voyages. How would they like that? 50 00:02:18,047 --> 00:02:19,547 I imagine they might like that a lot. 51 00:02:21,714 --> 00:02:23,047 Well, this feels real. 52 00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:29,923 (AMERICAN ACCENT) Morning, ma'am! A new dawn has broken. 53 00:02:30,005 --> 00:02:32,964 So has our toilet. We're not animals, you know. 54 00:02:33,047 --> 00:02:35,172 Right. I will-- I will talk to Matt about that. 55 00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:37,172 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Good luck pissing in the basement 56 00:02:37,255 --> 00:02:38,547 for the next three years. 57 00:02:38,631 --> 00:02:41,047 Good morning, captain. Oh, you look haunted. 58 00:02:41,130 --> 00:02:42,005 Thanks. 59 00:02:42,089 --> 00:02:43,297 How are you adjusting to all of this? 60 00:02:43,381 --> 00:02:44,547 Well, you know, 61 00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:47,255 just a little bit curious as to why you never told me 62 00:02:47,339 --> 00:02:49,673 that the whole crew are a bunch of fakes who have been 63 00:02:49,756 --> 00:02:51,005 shat out of Julliard. 64 00:02:51,089 --> 00:02:54,130 Well, I didn't think you would react well. 65 00:02:54,214 --> 00:02:56,464 Here you are, hissing at me in a hallway. 66 00:02:56,547 --> 00:02:58,839 This is radiation. 67 00:02:58,923 --> 00:03:01,839 And that moon-botherer is real. You couldn't make that up. 68 00:03:01,923 --> 00:03:06,881 Now, ships are constantly being bombarded by cosmic rays. 69 00:03:06,964 --> 00:03:09,130 It's deadly! So, how do we fight it off? 70 00:03:09,214 --> 00:03:10,964 Ooh, I know, I know! Poop! 71 00:03:11,047 --> 00:03:12,214 -Uh-- -(CHILDREN LAUGHING) 72 00:03:12,297 --> 00:03:13,756 Smart kid! Zeke is right. 73 00:03:13,839 --> 00:03:16,839 A shield of human waste protects us from radiation. 74 00:03:16,923 --> 00:03:19,005 (AMERICAN ACCENT) That's why they call it the poop deck! 75 00:03:19,089 --> 00:03:20,255 -(LAUGHTER) -No. 76 00:03:20,339 --> 00:03:21,923 It's from the French for "stern." 77 00:03:22,005 --> 00:03:23,214 (LAUGHS) 78 00:03:23,297 --> 00:03:26,756 I'd close your mouth, because it's not a joke. 79 00:03:26,839 --> 00:03:28,798 Every ship has a turd cloak. 80 00:03:28,881 --> 00:03:29,964 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Has a what? 81 00:03:30,047 --> 00:03:31,964 You don't know about the wetsuit? 82 00:03:32,047 --> 00:03:35,172 (LAUGHS) Look at you, listening in on us! 83 00:03:35,255 --> 00:03:37,005 -(RYAN CHUCKLES) -Well, no, he knows everything. 84 00:03:37,089 --> 00:03:38,089 He's the captain. 85 00:03:38,172 --> 00:03:40,214 (AMERICAN ACCENT) They call me Mr. Wetsuit. 86 00:03:40,297 --> 00:03:42,422 That's one of the things we call him. (LAUGHS) 87 00:03:42,506 --> 00:03:45,422 Oh, look! Who is missing a genius? 88 00:03:45,506 --> 00:03:46,923 -Over here! -Okay. 89 00:03:47,005 --> 00:03:48,881 Maybe I should learn about this stuff. 90 00:03:48,964 --> 00:03:51,047 -Space and so on. -(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 91 00:03:51,130 --> 00:03:53,089 Uh... I'll, um... I'll explain it to you. 92 00:03:53,172 --> 00:03:55,881 So, all this technology, and still, human feces 93 00:03:55,964 --> 00:03:58,172 is the best way to not get cancer in space, 94 00:03:58,255 --> 00:04:02,130 which reminds me, vent the wetsuit. 95 00:04:02,214 --> 00:04:04,130 (ENGLISH ACCENT) You know what I have written on my hand? 96 00:04:04,214 --> 00:04:06,297 -What? -"Unclench me." 97 00:04:06,381 --> 00:04:07,881 WOMAN: Hey, asshole, I want my life back. 98 00:04:07,964 --> 00:04:09,381 -IRIS KIMURA: Thank you. -HERMAN JUDD: Oh, man. 99 00:04:09,464 --> 00:04:12,923 I don't wanna go the same way as Richard Branson! 100 00:04:13,005 --> 00:04:15,464 Fed to his own pigs on his private island. 101 00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:18,047 It's still early. The passengers get easier to wrangle 102 00:04:18,130 --> 00:04:19,089 after the first drink. 103 00:04:19,172 --> 00:04:21,506 The financial stuff, tell me honestly, Iris-- 104 00:04:21,589 --> 00:04:23,464 -Yes, I do. -I didn't even ask the question! 105 00:04:23,547 --> 00:04:26,464 "Do you think we're fucked, financially?" Answer: yes, I do. 106 00:04:26,547 --> 00:04:30,631 Oh. I don't like being unhappy, Iris. I just don't like it. 107 00:04:30,714 --> 00:04:31,881 IRIS: You get used to it. 108 00:04:31,964 --> 00:04:33,631 Do you verbally consent to a hug? 109 00:04:33,714 --> 00:04:35,589 Ugh. 110 00:04:35,673 --> 00:04:38,255 Oh. Here's an idea to get people to like you. 111 00:04:38,339 --> 00:04:40,464 Drinks. Here. Cocktail party. 112 00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:42,214 All the passengers, meet them in batches. 113 00:04:42,297 --> 00:04:44,881 Yeah. Maybe someone will hug me there. 114 00:04:44,964 --> 00:04:47,297 All right, so, journey time... (MUTTERING) 115 00:04:47,381 --> 00:04:49,547 Okay, so you can meet 19 people a week. 116 00:04:49,631 --> 00:04:52,172 Nineteen. Odd number. Don't people come in couples? 117 00:04:52,255 --> 00:04:54,923 No. Widows, widowers, priests, ugly people. 118 00:04:55,005 --> 00:04:57,464 -You're not a couple. -Neither was Zeus. 119 00:04:57,547 --> 00:05:00,756 -And I'm basically Zeus. -He married his sister. 120 00:05:00,839 --> 00:05:03,714 (SHUDDERS) My sister would make a selfish bride. 121 00:05:03,798 --> 00:05:06,506 IRIS: Okay, so the batch parties are a go. 122 00:05:06,589 --> 00:05:09,422 Where we at in terms of the vigil? 123 00:05:09,506 --> 00:05:12,089 Did you fill it, like I asked, but didn't ask? 124 00:05:12,172 --> 00:05:13,631 I don't know what you're talking about. 125 00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,297 Remember I told you that I wanted-- 126 00:05:15,381 --> 00:05:17,422 Oh, you're doing a whole deniability thing. 127 00:05:17,506 --> 00:05:19,506 You only need to do that in front of other people. 128 00:05:19,589 --> 00:05:20,798 People, not half-people. 129 00:05:20,881 --> 00:05:24,381 There's no air resistance, so we're just sailing on, right? 130 00:05:24,464 --> 00:05:27,255 But what's the, um... What's the Rafer valve? 131 00:05:27,339 --> 00:05:28,964 I've already told you this one. 132 00:05:29,047 --> 00:05:30,589 I thought you were Mr. Wetsuit. 133 00:05:30,673 --> 00:05:34,047 Come on, Zeke, please! I said I would give you pens. 134 00:05:34,130 --> 00:05:38,422 And that is how I saved the entire ship! 135 00:05:38,506 --> 00:05:40,839 SPIKE: This is a bright kid. 136 00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:42,589 He's probably hoping he'll grow up one day 137 00:05:42,673 --> 00:05:45,089 -and be like old Spikey, huh? -Not really. 138 00:05:45,714 --> 00:05:47,214 That's a little harsh. 139 00:05:47,631 --> 00:05:50,631 Oh! Oh. Punk. 140 00:05:50,714 --> 00:05:52,089 Hey, um... Hey, where's your-- 141 00:05:52,172 --> 00:05:54,005 Where's your mom and her fellow moms? 142 00:05:54,089 --> 00:05:56,881 -Oh, uh, she's over there. -Oh. Thank you. 143 00:05:59,381 --> 00:06:00,964 No, she's not. She's over there. 144 00:06:04,923 --> 00:06:07,923 That's... That's pretty smooth. 145 00:06:08,005 --> 00:06:10,005 PROTESTOR: I worry about the victims. 146 00:06:10,089 --> 00:06:11,839 But one of the biggest victims 147 00:06:11,923 --> 00:06:14,422 is Mr. Judd and the Judd Corporation. 148 00:06:14,506 --> 00:06:18,005 I blame NASA's refusal to honor code 346 149 00:06:18,089 --> 00:06:20,464 of the International Space Treaties. 150 00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,964 Is he just saying that off the top of his head? 151 00:06:23,047 --> 00:06:24,839 Why do you find it so odd? 152 00:06:24,923 --> 00:06:26,798 Who knows what stage of grief he's at. 153 00:06:26,881 --> 00:06:28,297 There's no stage of grief known as 154 00:06:28,381 --> 00:06:29,631 "fluency in international space law"! 155 00:06:29,714 --> 00:06:33,047 The question of liability is up for debate. 156 00:06:33,130 --> 00:06:36,839 What is your problem? He looks the part. It's perfect casting. 157 00:06:36,923 --> 00:06:38,422 Casting? What the-- Oh. 158 00:06:38,506 --> 00:06:39,673 They're actors. 159 00:06:39,756 --> 00:06:40,756 The-- He's an actor! 160 00:06:40,839 --> 00:06:42,631 Well, if it took you this long to work it out, 161 00:06:42,714 --> 00:06:45,297 -what is the problem? -ALAN: That's a good point. -RAV MULCAIR: Shut up, Alan. 162 00:06:45,381 --> 00:06:46,714 It'll look terrible if it gets out 163 00:06:46,798 --> 00:06:49,005 that we're paying actors to get public support! 164 00:06:50,130 --> 00:06:51,297 Send them home! 165 00:06:51,381 --> 00:06:54,172 Won't that look terrible? If the vigil suddenly disperses? 166 00:06:54,255 --> 00:06:56,005 -Yeah, good point. -RAV: Shut up, both of you. 167 00:06:56,798 --> 00:06:57,881 Actually, that is a good point. 168 00:06:57,964 --> 00:07:00,130 -Uh, I'm not-- -Shut up, Alan. 169 00:07:00,214 --> 00:07:03,547 (SIGHS) Okay. Mads, let's see what you've learnt. 170 00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:05,381 What is your engineering clearance level? 171 00:07:05,464 --> 00:07:06,422 High. 172 00:07:06,506 --> 00:07:08,839 No, it's a number between one and 100. 173 00:07:09,172 --> 00:07:10,297 Uh... 100? 174 00:07:10,381 --> 00:07:12,255 Guys, come on, this is not community theater! 175 00:07:12,339 --> 00:07:15,339 You've gotta know this stuff like you know your own names. 176 00:07:15,422 --> 00:07:17,923 Do you mean our names, or our character names? 177 00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:19,673 (ENGLISH ACCENT) What? Oh, don't tell me 178 00:07:19,756 --> 00:07:23,130 -Mads isn't your real name. -No, no. No. I'm Colin. 179 00:07:23,214 --> 00:07:24,589 Oh, for f-- 180 00:07:24,673 --> 00:07:27,798 No offense, but that is a placeholder name if ever I heard one. 181 00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:28,839 (CLEARS THROAT) 182 00:07:28,923 --> 00:07:30,214 BILLIE MCEVOY: Yes, what's your name? 183 00:07:30,297 --> 00:07:31,214 Uh, Sarah. 184 00:07:31,297 --> 00:07:32,631 -Sarah. -Is that your real name? 185 00:07:32,714 --> 00:07:36,214 Oh, it's also Sarah. That's why I got the part, I think. 186 00:07:36,297 --> 00:07:38,005 Right. So, who are you right now? 187 00:07:38,089 --> 00:07:39,130 -Now? -Yeah. 188 00:07:39,214 --> 00:07:40,214 Sarah. 189 00:07:40,297 --> 00:07:42,422 No, uh, but are you actual Sarah, 190 00:07:42,506 --> 00:07:44,172 or are you in character? 191 00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:46,047 -Yes. -Which? 192 00:07:46,798 --> 00:07:48,255 What was the question, sorry? 193 00:07:48,339 --> 00:07:50,464 Oh, Judith of Norwich. 194 00:07:50,547 --> 00:07:53,798 This is why they should slash art funding to the bones. 195 00:07:53,881 --> 00:07:56,464 (CLEARS THROAT) Sorry, quick motivation question. 196 00:07:56,547 --> 00:07:59,005 -Yes, Sarah. -How is Sarah responding, 197 00:07:59,089 --> 00:08:01,839 now that she knows that the captain's fake? 198 00:08:01,923 --> 00:08:04,839 No, he's not! I am not fake! 199 00:08:04,923 --> 00:08:07,047 I am-- I am solid, I am dependable, 200 00:08:07,130 --> 00:08:09,172 I am un-fucking-flappable! 201 00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:10,339 -Right. -RYAN: I know that... 202 00:08:10,422 --> 00:08:11,798 I'm not coming out that way right now, 203 00:08:11,881 --> 00:08:14,839 but that's what you... what you all have to remember. 204 00:08:14,923 --> 00:08:15,964 After all, if I was fake, 205 00:08:16,047 --> 00:08:18,089 I would not know what a Roofie valve is. 206 00:08:18,172 --> 00:08:19,255 Uh, a Rafer valve. 207 00:08:19,339 --> 00:08:21,464 Right. Well, I got the word "valve" right. 208 00:08:21,547 --> 00:08:22,506 Yes, you did. 209 00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:24,297 Can we just stick to the script? All right? 210 00:08:24,381 --> 00:08:25,964 Or is that not something they taught you 211 00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:27,673 at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Sarahs? 212 00:08:27,756 --> 00:08:31,005 Okay, so, my character doesn't know that you're fake. 213 00:08:31,089 --> 00:08:33,673 Okay, I've got that. That is actually quite a good note. 214 00:08:33,756 --> 00:08:35,506 You're gonna make a note of the note? 215 00:08:35,589 --> 00:08:38,005 -Yeah. "Doesn't know..." -(RYAN SIGHS) 216 00:08:38,089 --> 00:08:41,089 This is just hopeless. I don't even believe they're actors. 217 00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:44,756 You've got to take me to the real crew, real fast. 218 00:08:45,714 --> 00:08:47,506 (DANISH ACCENT) Okay, fly safe, cap. 219 00:08:47,589 --> 00:08:49,255 Oh, fuck off, Colin! 220 00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:53,506 -I had drinks with Rav. -Who is my best friend. 221 00:08:53,589 --> 00:08:55,172 'Cause I needed someone to talk to 222 00:08:55,255 --> 00:08:56,714 after my wife made a cuck-hold of me. 223 00:08:56,798 --> 00:08:59,756 Okay, "cuck-hold"? there is no "h" in "cuckold." 224 00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:01,172 You idiot. Right? 225 00:09:01,255 --> 00:09:03,798 Now you're getting another man to spell "cuckold" for me. 226 00:09:03,881 --> 00:09:05,130 -Mm-hmm. -DOUG: We had drinks. 227 00:09:05,214 --> 00:09:07,673 We were talking and I got emotional. 228 00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,381 And I accidentally kissed her neck. 229 00:09:09,464 --> 00:09:12,297 -How do you accidentally kiss somebody's neck? -But I didn't have full sex. 230 00:09:12,381 --> 00:09:14,130 Oh, well, when have you ever done that, Doug? 231 00:09:14,214 --> 00:09:16,631 -Can I just get my own cabin? -Yes! Please! 232 00:09:16,714 --> 00:09:19,297 If I have to watch him carefully dry his balls 233 00:09:19,381 --> 00:09:21,047 one more time, I'm gonna kill myself. 234 00:09:21,130 --> 00:09:23,214 I have a male yeast infection. It's a real i-- 235 00:09:23,297 --> 00:09:24,881 -(SIGHS) -Would you rather I carelessly 236 00:09:24,964 --> 00:09:26,297 dry my balls? 237 00:09:26,381 --> 00:09:28,673 Okay, this is all very informative. 238 00:09:29,339 --> 00:09:30,673 Are you taking notes? 239 00:09:32,089 --> 00:09:33,881 -What? -How long has that been up there? 240 00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:37,172 Now, the word cloud is in your room 241 00:09:37,255 --> 00:09:38,297 on all the screens. 242 00:09:38,381 --> 00:09:40,589 -What? Can we get rid of it? -No. 243 00:09:40,673 --> 00:09:43,130 You can add words to it, but you can't remove any. 244 00:09:43,214 --> 00:09:46,255 When you get back there, you're gonna see words like 245 00:09:46,339 --> 00:09:49,089 -"Neck." "Male bitch." -Mm-hmm. 246 00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:51,047 "The beast of yeast." 247 00:09:51,130 --> 00:09:53,964 You're gonna see words like "Emotional ragdoll." 248 00:09:54,047 --> 00:09:58,506 "Chunky millstone." "Fucker." "Worm-dicked little fucker." 249 00:09:58,589 --> 00:10:00,631 Who put that word on there? We didn't say that word. 250 00:10:00,714 --> 00:10:01,881 -I'd said it. -When? 251 00:10:01,964 --> 00:10:03,297 Before you got here. 252 00:10:03,798 --> 00:10:05,756 "Stank-ass balls." 253 00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,756 Yeah, I said you can shove your stank-ass balls 254 00:10:07,839 --> 00:10:09,255 in your mouth and choke on them and die. 255 00:10:09,339 --> 00:10:11,089 How much work did you guys do before I got here? 256 00:10:11,172 --> 00:10:12,964 She got here 45 minutes early. 257 00:10:14,673 --> 00:10:16,964 I think we did really good work today. 258 00:10:17,047 --> 00:10:18,422 -Yeah. -MATT SPENCER: So, you're at peace? 259 00:10:18,506 --> 00:10:20,714 I'm gonna go fix some other passengers now. 260 00:10:20,798 --> 00:10:22,547 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 261 00:10:22,631 --> 00:10:24,089 ENGINEER 1: Bleed wetsuit in five minutes. 262 00:10:24,172 --> 00:10:26,130 ENGINEER 2: And venting ion drive in two. 263 00:10:26,214 --> 00:10:29,881 BILLIE: Heads up, guys! Faux Capitano in the house! 264 00:10:34,464 --> 00:10:35,547 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Morning. 265 00:10:37,464 --> 00:10:40,964 Sorry it took me so long to realize that you existed. 266 00:10:41,047 --> 00:10:42,631 No problem. 267 00:10:42,714 --> 00:10:45,881 So, popcorn and dirty jokes. Who's in? 268 00:10:45,964 --> 00:10:47,214 -(LAUGHTER) -So, she said, 269 00:10:47,297 --> 00:10:49,172 "Wait a minute, well, then, who was that on the ladder?" 270 00:10:49,255 --> 00:10:53,172 -(LAUGHTER) -(BILLIE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY) 271 00:10:54,756 --> 00:10:58,005 I want that as a ringtone. I definitely do! 272 00:10:58,089 --> 00:11:01,798 Wow. Seriously, though, on a scale of one 273 00:11:01,881 --> 00:11:05,339 to "we're all going to die," how fucked did you think 274 00:11:05,422 --> 00:11:07,714 we were when we found out that I'm just a beard 275 00:11:07,798 --> 00:11:09,756 in a Sergeant Pepper uniform? 276 00:11:09,839 --> 00:11:12,130 Uh, actually, we've been taking bets on how long you'd last. 277 00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:14,005 Uh, yeah. You owe me 50 bucks. 278 00:11:14,089 --> 00:11:15,381 (LAUGHTER) 279 00:11:15,464 --> 00:11:17,923 I'm-- I'm laughing because I'm terrified! 280 00:11:18,005 --> 00:11:19,381 (LAUGHTER) 281 00:11:19,464 --> 00:11:22,756 Do you love to drink? I know my dad did. 282 00:11:22,839 --> 00:11:25,964 Why don't you come down and enjoy a nice, cold glass... 283 00:11:26,047 --> 00:11:28,673 Hey, Clara. That's a beautiful top. 284 00:11:28,756 --> 00:11:30,130 Catastrophe-chic! 285 00:11:30,214 --> 00:11:32,255 -Hey, Spike. -Hey, pal. 286 00:11:32,339 --> 00:11:34,798 Have you ever masturbated to a constellation? 287 00:11:34,881 --> 00:11:38,339 Yes. Once. Gemini. Twins! 288 00:11:38,422 --> 00:11:40,631 Hey! What are you guys talking about? 289 00:11:40,714 --> 00:11:43,297 -Star clusters. -What about you, Frank? 290 00:11:43,381 --> 00:11:45,422 Three years, time to find the new you? 291 00:11:45,506 --> 00:11:47,798 Yeah, that's funny, my dad had a funny expression. 292 00:11:47,881 --> 00:11:52,172 He used to say, "Frank, moderation in all things, 293 00:11:52,255 --> 00:11:53,631 including moderation." 294 00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:55,297 Um, that's moderately funny. 295 00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:59,881 Okay, Frank, what's the craziest thing you've ever done? 296 00:11:59,964 --> 00:12:01,839 Taking out a bridge loan. 297 00:12:01,923 --> 00:12:04,172 What's the craziest thing you've ever wanted to do? 298 00:12:06,506 --> 00:12:08,214 I've always wanted to wear a necklace. 299 00:12:08,297 --> 00:12:10,547 Not a jewelry kind, but a leather one. 300 00:12:10,631 --> 00:12:12,714 -Uh-huh. -Maybe with a shell. 301 00:12:12,798 --> 00:12:14,172 All right. 302 00:12:14,255 --> 00:12:15,506 Why stop with a shell? 303 00:12:15,589 --> 00:12:18,422 Maybe you could wear, I don't know, a dolphin dick. 304 00:12:18,506 --> 00:12:21,673 Yeah, oh, yeah, a dolphin dick. Hard to come by, though. 305 00:12:21,756 --> 00:12:24,214 -Or you could grow a ponytail. -(SIGHS) 306 00:12:24,297 --> 00:12:26,255 -Like Spike. -No, he couldn't. Few can. 307 00:12:26,339 --> 00:12:29,631 I have peculiarly muscular follicles. 308 00:12:29,714 --> 00:12:32,005 You can be any Frank you want. 309 00:12:32,089 --> 00:12:34,130 -SPIKE: Go for it, Frank. -Right? 310 00:12:34,214 --> 00:12:35,255 Great. 311 00:12:35,339 --> 00:12:38,089 -You could be punk rock Frank. -(LAUGHS) 312 00:12:38,172 --> 00:12:39,547 Huh? 313 00:12:39,631 --> 00:12:41,547 You could be Christian Scientist Frank. 314 00:12:41,631 --> 00:12:44,339 -Occasionally gay Frank. -Maybe. 315 00:12:44,422 --> 00:12:47,214 -Slightly racist Frank! -Frank the fiend. 316 00:12:47,297 --> 00:12:50,089 You could be whatever the fuck you want. Okay? 317 00:12:50,172 --> 00:12:51,756 -Yes. -You want another Judd martini? 318 00:12:51,839 --> 00:12:52,714 What was that? 319 00:12:52,798 --> 00:12:54,631 Do you want another Judd martini? 320 00:12:56,714 --> 00:12:58,673 -Yes. Yes, yes. -Yes, you do! Yes. 321 00:12:58,756 --> 00:13:00,756 -Hell-- Hell yes! -Yes, you do! 322 00:13:00,839 --> 00:13:03,214 Olivia, can we get another martini for the man? 323 00:13:03,297 --> 00:13:05,673 -No olive this time, please. -Make it dirty. 324 00:13:07,798 --> 00:13:10,673 N-- Strictly 19 people, Mrs. Hines. 325 00:13:10,756 --> 00:13:12,130 I have you down as widowed. 326 00:13:12,214 --> 00:13:14,506 Yes, but James is my new friend, and I thought-- 327 00:13:14,589 --> 00:13:16,422 Wow, I guess grief wants what it wants, right? 328 00:13:16,506 --> 00:13:18,547 All right, uh, couples, stand together, please, 329 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,214 and I will approach you as a double unit, okay? 330 00:13:23,547 --> 00:13:25,464 Iris-- Iris! 331 00:13:25,547 --> 00:13:27,255 Can you please take care of the widow? 332 00:13:27,339 --> 00:13:29,005 She's very clingy. 333 00:13:29,089 --> 00:13:32,381 Hi. Herman Judd, mogul. You know that already, though, don't you? 334 00:13:32,464 --> 00:13:34,297 -(LAUGHS) -You guys look great together. 335 00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:36,464 You make a very successful merger. 336 00:13:36,547 --> 00:13:39,881 That's CEO talk. That's CEO talk. Hug? 337 00:13:39,964 --> 00:13:41,214 -Oh. -(CHUCKLES) 338 00:13:42,047 --> 00:13:45,005 (WHISPERING) One, two, three. 339 00:13:45,089 --> 00:13:47,089 I got it. I did the math in my head. 340 00:13:47,172 --> 00:13:49,881 Three-second rule, am I right? Didn't that feel nice? 341 00:13:49,964 --> 00:13:52,798 And nobody crossed any lines. Look at all these smiles! 342 00:13:52,881 --> 00:13:55,130 I-- I-- There's a laundry cart blockade on-- 343 00:13:55,214 --> 00:13:56,464 What's that? Good, good. 344 00:13:56,547 --> 00:13:58,923 Why don't you guys make your way over by the skulls over there, 345 00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,589 all four Beatles. 346 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:03,172 Hi. Herman Judd, entreprenaut. 347 00:14:03,255 --> 00:14:04,631 So, do we have to keep paying 348 00:14:04,714 --> 00:14:06,297 now that we're stranded out here, or-- 349 00:14:06,381 --> 00:14:08,756 You know what, why don't I give you guys 350 00:14:08,839 --> 00:14:10,339 a private tour of my own quarters? 351 00:14:10,422 --> 00:14:11,839 We're gonna shake things up. 352 00:14:11,923 --> 00:14:14,381 What we have to do is we have to transform 353 00:14:14,464 --> 00:14:18,005 those faulty sex bots upstairs from risible into plausible. 354 00:14:18,089 --> 00:14:20,089 They have to be absolutely convincing, 355 00:14:20,172 --> 00:14:22,673 especially Sarah-slash-Sarah, 356 00:14:22,756 --> 00:14:25,506 who is driving me slash-wrists insane. 357 00:14:25,589 --> 00:14:27,756 -(LAUGHTER) -(BILLIE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY) 358 00:14:29,255 --> 00:14:30,506 -CYRUS: I have an idea. -That's funny. 359 00:14:30,589 --> 00:14:33,839 What if we connect a real comms link 360 00:14:33,923 --> 00:14:35,464 to their prop headsets? 361 00:14:35,547 --> 00:14:39,047 That is brilliant! You see, that is exactly the sort of idea 362 00:14:39,130 --> 00:14:41,422 I should've had if I weren't a complete fraud. 363 00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:42,923 (LAUGHTER) 364 00:14:43,005 --> 00:14:45,381 We could tell them exactly what to say. 365 00:14:45,464 --> 00:14:47,547 So, you wouldn't have Nadia sitting there like, 366 00:14:47,631 --> 00:14:50,381 (FRENCH ACCENT) "I'm Nadia, and I'm nominal." 367 00:14:50,464 --> 00:14:53,214 (GIGGLES) "And the systems are nominal." (GIGGLES) 368 00:14:53,297 --> 00:14:55,631 (DANISH ACCENT) Oh, hey, my name is Mads, and I am from 369 00:14:55,714 --> 00:14:58,381 -Spain or somewhere. -(LAUGHTER) 370 00:14:58,464 --> 00:15:00,547 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Uh, hi, my name is Ryan, 371 00:15:00,631 --> 00:15:02,589 and I'm a captain and an alcoholic. 372 00:15:02,673 --> 00:15:04,255 (LAUGHTER AND GASPING) 373 00:15:04,339 --> 00:15:06,673 Uh, that's-- that's-- that's actually not true. 374 00:15:06,756 --> 00:15:07,923 I'm not a captain. 375 00:15:10,631 --> 00:15:12,255 One of my prized possessions. 376 00:15:12,339 --> 00:15:15,047 First edition of Billy McFarland's book. 377 00:15:15,130 --> 00:15:17,381 This was way before he became head of the FBI. 378 00:15:17,464 --> 00:15:22,464 Here are the skulls of all four Beatles. 379 00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:24,506 All signed. Not by them, obviously. 380 00:15:24,589 --> 00:15:26,214 That would be impossible. I signed them. 381 00:15:26,297 --> 00:15:31,089 This is how it all began. This is when I had my big idea. 382 00:15:31,172 --> 00:15:33,673 This is... not the original. I threw that one out. 383 00:15:34,923 --> 00:15:37,589 So, I'd better go and have another drink now. 384 00:15:37,673 --> 00:15:40,381 One of Judd's "my parents never loved me" parties. 385 00:15:40,464 --> 00:15:41,506 (LAUGHTER) 386 00:15:41,589 --> 00:15:43,673 -Fly safe! -Fly drunk! 387 00:15:43,756 --> 00:15:47,339 (CHUCKLING) How do you do it? I thought they'd hate you. 388 00:15:47,422 --> 00:15:49,089 If it's any consolation, I hate me. 389 00:15:49,172 --> 00:15:51,506 So, what does your husband do? 390 00:15:51,589 --> 00:15:54,547 He's dead. He died in a fire three months ago. 391 00:15:54,631 --> 00:15:58,047 Oh, right, right. The widow. Uh, we-- we've mingled already. 392 00:15:58,130 --> 00:16:00,714 No weather in space. Right? 393 00:16:03,047 --> 00:16:05,339 Makes it hard to talk about the weather, 394 00:16:05,422 --> 00:16:06,798 which I'm kind of illustrating. 395 00:16:06,881 --> 00:16:10,798 I'm sorry, I don't understand the nature of what you are. 396 00:16:10,881 --> 00:16:13,839 Yeah, my nature is currently evolving. Look at this. Look. 397 00:16:13,923 --> 00:16:15,756 (AMERICAN ACCENT) Anybody order a captain? 398 00:16:15,839 --> 00:16:17,130 -Judd champagne? -Thank you. 399 00:16:17,214 --> 00:16:20,047 Have you seen Mr. Judd's skulls of the four Beatles? 400 00:16:20,130 --> 00:16:22,798 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Four Beatles? John Lennon was cremated, wasn't he? 401 00:16:22,881 --> 00:16:24,214 All right, keep that to yourself. 402 00:16:24,297 --> 00:16:26,714 I think one of the skulls is actually Micky Dolenz. 403 00:16:28,673 --> 00:16:31,089 Oh, that is just pure arse juice. 404 00:16:31,172 --> 00:16:33,714 I don't believe we've had the pleasure. Herman Judd. 405 00:16:33,798 --> 00:16:35,130 Oh! Karen Kelly. 406 00:16:35,214 --> 00:16:38,339 Ah! Great. Your, uh, nails are very long and very sharp. 407 00:16:38,422 --> 00:16:41,631 Thank you! I've been practicing my handshake since grade school. 408 00:16:41,714 --> 00:16:43,214 -Did she break the skin? -No. 409 00:16:43,297 --> 00:16:46,798 Okay, good. I like you. You know how to handle people. 410 00:16:46,881 --> 00:16:49,214 Basically a cattle prod in a dress. 411 00:16:49,297 --> 00:16:50,798 Enjoying your wine, captain? 412 00:16:50,881 --> 00:16:51,964 JUDD: Mm! 413 00:16:52,047 --> 00:16:55,381 Now, Karen, putting your passenger hat on for a second, 414 00:16:55,464 --> 00:16:58,005 what more can Iris be doing? 415 00:16:58,089 --> 00:17:02,339 Well, there's quite a divide between staff and passengers. 416 00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:05,506 -Mm. -Is that really Gone Girl on an original Kindle? 417 00:17:05,589 --> 00:17:06,714 Sorry, not now. We're talking. 418 00:17:06,798 --> 00:17:09,756 This is a restricted conversational area. Thank you. 419 00:17:10,881 --> 00:17:15,005 So, I would suggest, I don't know, maybe a photo? 420 00:17:15,089 --> 00:17:17,964 Everyone together, you know, laughing, hitting it off. 421 00:17:18,047 --> 00:17:20,506 -Maybe on the bridge! -(IRIS LAUGHS) 422 00:17:20,589 --> 00:17:22,589 -That's a shitty idea. -I love this idea. 423 00:17:22,673 --> 00:17:26,255 -As in, that idea is the shit! -So, we're all agreed 424 00:17:26,339 --> 00:17:29,172 that-- that Karen's idea is very much the shit. 425 00:17:29,923 --> 00:17:31,297 Claw lady's on to something. 426 00:17:31,381 --> 00:17:35,047 We show the people of Earth a moment of unity. 427 00:17:35,130 --> 00:17:37,214 We have another slingshot moment coming up 428 00:17:37,297 --> 00:17:39,422 in less than an hour, around Enceladus. 429 00:17:39,506 --> 00:17:43,047 This is perfect. We get a bunch of passengers on the bridge, 430 00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:44,339 get some Mr. Average 431 00:17:44,422 --> 00:17:46,547 to push that fake button we have for the kids. 432 00:17:46,631 --> 00:17:49,047 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Why would you put that idea into his head? 433 00:17:49,130 --> 00:17:51,089 If you could have put anything in there, 434 00:17:51,172 --> 00:17:52,381 why not general anesthetic? 435 00:17:52,464 --> 00:17:55,130 What is your problem, you big whinebag? 436 00:17:55,214 --> 00:17:56,756 Well, things on the bridge... 437 00:17:56,839 --> 00:17:58,714 Ah, it's a little fluid right now. 438 00:17:58,798 --> 00:18:01,172 Yeah, tell me about it. You're at 85 percent fluid. 439 00:18:01,255 --> 00:18:04,589 Look, you're always saying the crew are so professional. 440 00:18:04,673 --> 00:18:06,673 Yeah, I say a lot of things that are shit. 441 00:18:06,756 --> 00:18:08,047 -Don't you notice that? -Yeah. 442 00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:10,881 Enceladus is-- it's-- I don't like it, as a moon. 443 00:18:11,005 --> 00:18:13,506 All right, you middle-aged fuck buddies, here's the deal. 444 00:18:13,589 --> 00:18:15,923 Iris just sent word for it to be announced ship-wide. 445 00:18:16,005 --> 00:18:17,297 (SIGHS) Arse! 446 00:18:17,381 --> 00:18:19,631 Now, where are we at with the button-pusher? 447 00:18:19,714 --> 00:18:20,756 Mr. Average. 448 00:18:20,839 --> 00:18:22,381 Hey, sweetie. I have your purse. 449 00:18:22,464 --> 00:18:24,005 Oh, hi, honey. Thank you. 450 00:18:24,089 --> 00:18:28,339 Captain, Mr. Judd. Guys. Can I join the party? (LAUGHS) 451 00:18:28,422 --> 00:18:29,881 -(KAREN CHUCKLES) -JUDD: He'll do. 452 00:18:32,130 --> 00:18:34,506 I feel like I'm the prom queen or something. 453 00:18:34,589 --> 00:18:37,464 Drunk on cheap wine, I'm ready to lose my virginity. 454 00:18:37,547 --> 00:18:38,464 (LAUGHS) Yeah! 455 00:18:38,547 --> 00:18:40,339 And I would deflower you in a second! 456 00:18:40,422 --> 00:18:41,714 I am so proud of you, Frank! 457 00:18:41,798 --> 00:18:43,964 JUDD: Okay, so you'll hit the button, "Yay," 458 00:18:44,047 --> 00:18:46,214 cheering, cheering, cheering, moon-sling, 459 00:18:46,297 --> 00:18:47,631 and then everybody drinks a beer 460 00:18:47,714 --> 00:18:49,714 except for Iris. Iris is on duty. 461 00:18:49,798 --> 00:18:52,005 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 462 00:18:56,422 --> 00:18:59,005 You know, it was kinda nice, earlier, 463 00:18:59,089 --> 00:19:02,172 to talk, you know, like people, not barking like dogs. 464 00:19:02,255 --> 00:19:03,756 -Assholes. (LAUGHS) -(LAUGHS) Yeah. 465 00:19:03,839 --> 00:19:05,214 -Excuse me. -WAITER: Hi. 466 00:19:05,297 --> 00:19:06,964 Yes, I'd love a tiramisu. 467 00:19:07,047 --> 00:19:09,381 Oh, you know what, tiramisu me up too, buddy! 468 00:19:09,464 --> 00:19:12,339 Ah, I'm afraid there's only one left. 469 00:19:12,422 --> 00:19:17,381 So, for the next however long, we're out of tiramisu? 470 00:19:17,464 --> 00:19:20,506 -Yeah. -Oh, my God, this is big. 471 00:19:20,589 --> 00:19:23,339 -I'd better get it, then. -You'd better get it. 472 00:19:23,422 --> 00:19:25,506 To share, Doug! For us! 473 00:19:25,589 --> 00:19:29,130 Mm. Quote, you were here, "I better get it then." 474 00:19:29,214 --> 00:19:30,214 Not "us." 475 00:19:30,297 --> 00:19:32,339 Well, "Us better get it" isn't a sentence, Doug! 476 00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:35,798 God. Take that tiramisu and shove it right up your ass. 477 00:19:39,130 --> 00:19:41,506 You know what? Tira-me-su! (LAUGHS) Please. 478 00:19:41,589 --> 00:19:44,464 But not up my asshole. You can just put it right here on the table. 479 00:19:46,881 --> 00:19:49,506 (PIPE VIBRATES, THUDS) 480 00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:51,422 JUDD: Hey there. So, um... 481 00:19:51,506 --> 00:19:54,172 Have you, uh, been to the Judd jungle gym? 482 00:19:54,255 --> 00:19:56,798 And how did you hear about it? Targeted ad? Word of mouth? 483 00:19:56,881 --> 00:19:57,714 Your nanny? 484 00:19:57,798 --> 00:19:59,297 -MATT: How you doing, buddy? -I'm okay. 485 00:19:59,381 --> 00:20:00,839 -How old are you? -12. 486 00:20:00,923 --> 00:20:02,839 Oh, that's an awful age. 487 00:20:02,923 --> 00:20:05,005 When I was 12, I wanted to be a rapper. 488 00:20:05,089 --> 00:20:07,673 I tried to buy a gun, the whole deal. I was a mess. 489 00:20:07,756 --> 00:20:08,589 No. 490 00:20:08,673 --> 00:20:10,881 You should never speak to human beings. 491 00:20:10,964 --> 00:20:13,881 Well, I'm the head of passenger services! 492 00:20:13,964 --> 00:20:17,255 (AMERICAN ACCENT) Good evening, everybody. Excited? 493 00:20:19,214 --> 00:20:20,881 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Hey, is... 494 00:20:20,964 --> 00:20:24,506 So, Cyrus is ready to prompt Nadia with the commands, right? 495 00:20:24,589 --> 00:20:27,130 No, she's gonna do it herself. 496 00:20:27,214 --> 00:20:29,589 But she can't do it herself. She hasn't memorized them. 497 00:20:30,839 --> 00:20:32,297 Oh. You're in character. 498 00:20:32,381 --> 00:20:35,631 I do not know what you mean by "in character." 499 00:20:35,714 --> 00:20:39,089 -Okay, you're in character. -I'm being Sarah. 500 00:20:41,255 --> 00:20:43,214 Did you just-- Did you just wink at-- 501 00:20:43,297 --> 00:20:44,464 This button doesn't work, right? 502 00:20:44,547 --> 00:20:46,005 (DANISH ACCENT) No, no, it's not even connected, no. 503 00:20:46,089 --> 00:20:47,381 -Can I? Do you mind? -Of course. 504 00:20:47,464 --> 00:20:48,673 -(BEEPING) -Look at that! 505 00:20:48,756 --> 00:20:49,756 It's cool, right? 506 00:20:49,839 --> 00:20:52,339 That's so neat! Iris! Iris! 507 00:20:52,422 --> 00:20:54,589 Hey, I want one of these buttons for my room. 508 00:20:54,673 --> 00:20:56,714 RYAN: (AMERICAN ACCENT) Right, bridge crew, ready! 509 00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:58,297 The performing seals are ready. 510 00:20:58,381 --> 00:21:01,756 Whoa, disrespectful. Seals are pretty smart. 511 00:21:01,839 --> 00:21:03,923 The performing seals are ready. 512 00:21:04,005 --> 00:21:06,339 Only speak when I say your names! 513 00:21:06,422 --> 00:21:08,547 Nadia, slingshot is primed. 514 00:21:08,631 --> 00:21:11,589 -Slingshot is primed. -Go, go! 515 00:21:11,673 --> 00:21:13,089 Mads, engines. 516 00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:15,589 -MADS: Engines... -Go, go. 517 00:21:15,673 --> 00:21:18,464 -Sarah, trajectory. -SARAH: Trajectory... 518 00:21:23,381 --> 00:21:25,714 Guys, why is nobody answering their comms? 519 00:21:25,798 --> 00:21:27,214 Are you all out for the day? 520 00:21:27,297 --> 00:21:28,255 Welcome to engineering, 521 00:21:28,339 --> 00:21:30,547 or as I call it, prompting. Nadia-- 522 00:21:30,631 --> 00:21:32,381 There's a rupture in the turd shield. 523 00:21:32,464 --> 00:21:33,589 -What? -Yeah! 524 00:21:33,673 --> 00:21:36,089 -Tell me you vented it. Tell-- -Tell me you vented it! 525 00:21:36,172 --> 00:21:39,005 There is a shitstorm coming, and when I say "shit," 526 00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:41,464 I mean shit, and when I say "storm," 527 00:21:41,547 --> 00:21:43,798 I mean shit! 528 00:21:43,881 --> 00:21:46,631 -Look. -Oh, for fu-- fu-- fu-- 529 00:21:46,714 --> 00:21:47,839 Oh, fa-fa-fa! 530 00:21:51,631 --> 00:21:54,756 -Okay, remember, Frank. -I know how to work a button. 531 00:21:54,839 --> 00:21:56,422 "Press." It's "press" a button. 532 00:21:57,047 --> 00:21:57,964 Press a button. 533 00:21:58,047 --> 00:22:00,089 Are we still on protocol, team? 534 00:22:00,172 --> 00:22:03,381 Oui, protocol status is... nominal. 535 00:22:03,464 --> 00:22:06,839 Frank, you're the best. You're a fucking silverback. 536 00:22:06,923 --> 00:22:08,673 There are children here. 537 00:22:08,756 --> 00:22:10,422 Let's action slingshot. 538 00:22:10,506 --> 00:22:12,422 Thrusters are primed, Frank. Go. 539 00:22:14,464 --> 00:22:15,798 Go, go! 540 00:22:15,881 --> 00:22:17,339 (GASPING) 541 00:22:21,255 --> 00:22:22,506 I should've done it. 542 00:22:22,589 --> 00:22:24,339 What did I-- Did I-- What did I do? 543 00:22:24,422 --> 00:22:27,923 Invoking emergency headset protocol. 544 00:22:30,255 --> 00:22:32,547 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Cyrus? Billie? 545 00:22:32,631 --> 00:22:34,673 Was that a-- Was that a good shudder? 546 00:22:34,756 --> 00:22:36,673 Or a bad shudder? 547 00:22:36,756 --> 00:22:39,255 -(ALARM BLARING) -Ryan. Ryan, it's Billie. 548 00:22:39,339 --> 00:22:40,881 Someone forgot to vent the wetsuit. 549 00:22:40,964 --> 00:22:44,839 This is not good. Very code not good. Code bad! 550 00:22:44,923 --> 00:22:47,089 Ah, that's not really a code, though, is it? 551 00:22:49,255 --> 00:22:51,297 (AMERICAN ACCENT) Okay! Why don't we, uh, 552 00:22:51,381 --> 00:22:54,255 take another photograph? Get all the kids there. 553 00:22:54,339 --> 00:22:56,839 Nice big smiles, everybody. Right down to the front. 554 00:22:56,923 --> 00:22:58,339 Now, if you bunch in tight... 555 00:22:58,422 --> 00:22:59,547 BILLIE: Captain. (CLEARS THROAT) 556 00:22:59,631 --> 00:23:03,464 We are currently leaking human shit and piss 557 00:23:03,547 --> 00:23:05,339 live right now. 558 00:23:05,422 --> 00:23:07,130 -Wha-- -Or excrement and urine, 559 00:23:07,214 --> 00:23:08,172 if you're in first class. 560 00:23:08,255 --> 00:23:09,422 (ENGLISH ACCENT) The wetsuit is turds? 561 00:23:09,506 --> 00:23:11,381 That's exactly what it is. You want a brown star? 562 00:23:11,464 --> 00:23:14,047 Well, "crystal clear" might seem like 563 00:23:14,130 --> 00:23:16,547 an odd phrase to use right now, but I think you should've been 564 00:23:16,631 --> 00:23:17,964 crystal clear about this! 565 00:23:18,047 --> 00:23:20,714 I was. I explained this to you over at Spike's class, 566 00:23:20,798 --> 00:23:22,964 as did Spike, as did that little child. 567 00:23:23,047 --> 00:23:25,172 God, you don't feel like a massive idiot 568 00:23:25,255 --> 00:23:26,839 about that button thing, do you? 569 00:23:26,923 --> 00:23:29,339 'Cause you just have to let it go, honestly, 570 00:23:29,422 --> 00:23:30,547 because it will kill you. 571 00:23:30,631 --> 00:23:33,130 Oh, my fuck! Look at all that shit! 572 00:23:33,547 --> 00:23:34,839 (GASPING) 573 00:23:37,130 --> 00:23:39,589 MATT: So, the ship seems to be shitting itself, 574 00:23:39,673 --> 00:23:42,381 but don't get hung up on results, Frank. 575 00:23:42,464 --> 00:23:44,005 The journey is the destination. 576 00:23:44,089 --> 00:23:46,255 Iris, I'm hearing things right now that would worry me 577 00:23:46,339 --> 00:23:48,255 if they were true. Please tell me they're not true. 578 00:23:48,339 --> 00:23:50,089 -They're all lies. -Oh, thank God. Wait! 579 00:23:50,172 --> 00:23:53,089 You're just saying that because I told you to, aren't you? 580 00:23:53,172 --> 00:23:54,214 -Yes. -Oh, fuck! 581 00:23:55,756 --> 00:23:58,255 I've never seen so many number twos. 582 00:23:58,339 --> 00:24:00,005 ZEKE'S MOM: Is that what I think it is? 583 00:24:00,089 --> 00:24:01,881 Hell yeah, baby. Hell yeah. 584 00:24:03,339 --> 00:24:05,005 (GROANING) 585 00:24:05,089 --> 00:24:07,422 -(ALARM SOUNDING) -RYAN (AUTOMATED): This is an emergency. 586 00:24:07,506 --> 00:24:08,964 -I did not... -Please remain calm. 587 00:24:09,047 --> 00:24:10,589 -Okay, that's not good. -(ENGLISH ACCENT) Okay, 588 00:24:10,673 --> 00:24:11,756 ultra-emergency now. 589 00:24:11,839 --> 00:24:12,923 -I need... -Accent! 590 00:24:13,005 --> 00:24:15,089 (AMERICAN ACCENT) ...all non-essential personnel 591 00:24:15,172 --> 00:24:18,339 to leave the bridge right now, please. Thank you. 592 00:24:18,422 --> 00:24:20,089 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Not you, not you! 593 00:24:20,172 --> 00:24:21,881 Especially this guy. Get him out of here. 594 00:24:21,964 --> 00:24:23,631 -FRANK KELLY: Sorry, Karen. -You son of a bitch! 595 00:24:23,714 --> 00:24:25,381 -RYAN: Please remain calm. -Sorry. 596 00:24:29,881 --> 00:24:31,214 Yeah, I can't eat this. 597 00:24:32,839 --> 00:24:34,839 Tanto, tanto merda che esce. 598 00:24:34,923 --> 00:24:37,172 -(OVERLAPPING VOICES IN VARIOUS LANGUAGES) -Ma tanto, tanto, tanto 599 00:24:37,255 --> 00:24:40,547 esce la merda, esce, esce, esce. Che cazzo fai? 600 00:24:40,631 --> 00:24:43,589 We are all going to die of radiation poisoning 601 00:24:43,673 --> 00:24:47,130 if we don't plug the hole in the vent right now. Like, now. 602 00:24:47,214 --> 00:24:48,422 Okay, if anyone needs to freak out, 603 00:24:48,506 --> 00:24:50,422 this is a safe space. Emotionally. 604 00:24:50,506 --> 00:24:52,464 Physically, we're obviously in terrible danger. 605 00:24:52,547 --> 00:24:54,297 A real captain would be out there. 606 00:24:54,381 --> 00:24:58,005 Yes! Captain, you need to get out there and fix... 607 00:24:58,089 --> 00:25:01,881 whatever this is. This dark evil. 608 00:25:01,964 --> 00:25:03,714 Look, I think you may have to do this. 609 00:25:03,798 --> 00:25:04,964 (AMERICAN ACCENT) No. No, no, no. 610 00:25:05,047 --> 00:25:08,547 Mr. Judd, the captain's place is on the bridge. 611 00:25:08,631 --> 00:25:11,422 Look, the whole world wants to see you out there! 612 00:25:11,506 --> 00:25:14,297 No, the whole world wants to see a specialist, 613 00:25:14,381 --> 00:25:16,464 and I am not a specialist in that. 614 00:25:16,547 --> 00:25:19,255 Go, Mr. Wetsuit! He's an expert. 615 00:25:20,005 --> 00:25:21,422 I never knew that before. 616 00:25:21,506 --> 00:25:23,214 You are the perfect man for this job. 617 00:25:23,297 --> 00:25:26,339 Zeke, whoever does go out there, I'm gonna make sure they bring 618 00:25:26,422 --> 00:25:27,714 you back a nice, big-- 619 00:25:27,798 --> 00:25:30,756 Captain Clark saved my life 20 years ago. 620 00:25:30,839 --> 00:25:33,381 When we were mining for asteroids. Do you remember? 621 00:25:33,464 --> 00:25:38,422 My harness failed, and I thought I was gonna die. 622 00:25:38,506 --> 00:25:39,964 (SNIFFLES) 623 00:25:40,047 --> 00:25:43,506 And the captain untethered his tether, 624 00:25:43,589 --> 00:25:46,381 and he jumped out and he caught me. 625 00:25:46,464 --> 00:25:50,714 And he loves his uniform. But he loves danger more. 626 00:25:50,798 --> 00:25:53,547 And that is why we are saved, people. 627 00:25:53,631 --> 00:25:54,964 So, now you can act? 628 00:25:55,047 --> 00:25:57,172 (APPLAUSE) 629 00:25:59,589 --> 00:26:00,964 Wh-- No, no, no, no. 630 00:26:05,255 --> 00:26:08,589 Yeah, yeah, yeah! Avenue 5! 631 00:26:08,673 --> 00:26:10,506 CROWD: Avenue 5! 632 00:26:10,589 --> 00:26:14,047 -Fly safe, cap! -Yeah! Right. 633 00:26:14,130 --> 00:26:16,047 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Of all the things that are not good 634 00:26:16,130 --> 00:26:18,381 about this, one of them is, I'm still drunk! 635 00:26:18,464 --> 00:26:19,798 Okay, listen, it's gonna be fine. 636 00:26:19,881 --> 00:26:22,547 Uh, focus on her, because she's got a really promising story. 637 00:26:22,631 --> 00:26:25,631 Is there a worse way to die? Because right now, 638 00:26:25,714 --> 00:26:27,047 I'd be inclined to pick that one. 639 00:26:27,130 --> 00:26:31,047 It's gonna be okay. I'm gonna talk directly into your ear, 640 00:26:31,130 --> 00:26:33,547 and I'm gonna walk you through this whole horror. 641 00:26:33,631 --> 00:26:35,172 You've just gotta find me on the comms link, 642 00:26:35,255 --> 00:26:36,506 or I won't be able to help you. 643 00:26:36,589 --> 00:26:38,673 Okay, find me on the comms link. Thank you. Take him down. 644 00:26:38,756 --> 00:26:40,422 -Find me on the comms link! -Back to your stations. 645 00:26:40,506 --> 00:26:42,589 -RYAN: Please remain calm. -JUDD: We got this! 646 00:26:42,673 --> 00:26:46,214 There is a rupture in the hull, and Cap has gone to do an EVA. 647 00:26:46,297 --> 00:26:48,005 So, emergency drill. Go, go, go! 648 00:26:48,089 --> 00:26:50,130 -Uh, oui. Go, go! -Yes. 649 00:26:50,673 --> 00:26:52,506 -EVA? -Yes! 650 00:26:54,255 --> 00:26:56,339 -(CHUCKLES) -I love improv. 651 00:26:57,673 --> 00:27:01,172 (CHEERING) 652 00:27:05,464 --> 00:27:06,923 I believe in you. 653 00:27:07,005 --> 00:27:09,506 But if, for whatever reason, it doesn't work out, 654 00:27:09,589 --> 00:27:11,172 I'm gonna name a sports center 655 00:27:11,255 --> 00:27:13,589 or artificial ski slope after you. 656 00:27:15,589 --> 00:27:20,839 Okay, engineering. Forward split wetsuit protocol three 657 00:27:20,923 --> 00:27:22,214 to my station. 658 00:27:22,297 --> 00:27:25,047 Protocol three. That is my favorite protocol. 659 00:27:27,130 --> 00:27:28,547 SARAH: Protocol three. 660 00:27:33,047 --> 00:27:35,047 -BILLIE: Okay. -Oh, fucking hell. 661 00:27:37,381 --> 00:27:39,255 BILLIE: Ryan? Ryan, can you hear me? 662 00:27:39,339 --> 00:27:41,422 Are you ready to do this? 663 00:27:41,506 --> 00:27:44,714 With every fiber of my being, no. 664 00:27:45,756 --> 00:27:48,881 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪