1
00:00:02,698 --> 00:00:03,786
[ Telephone ringing ]
2
00:00:04,047 --> 00:00:05,570
- What was that?
- Nothing.
3
00:00:05,570 --> 00:00:09,139
Did I see your last name
on it?
4
00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:11,359
It's a flier for my dad's
landscaping company.
5
00:00:11,359 --> 00:00:14,971
Aww.
Uh, is that your brother?
6
00:00:14,971 --> 00:00:16,320
No, I'm actually
an only child,
7
00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:18,322
but apparently appearing
to be a family business
8
00:00:18,322 --> 00:00:19,845
helps bring in customers.
9
00:00:19,845 --> 00:00:23,110
That's-- Sorry, so your--
your dad, he hired an actor
10
00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:25,547
to play his son
instead of just asking you?
11
00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:27,244
Yeah.
12
00:00:27,244 --> 00:00:28,593
I think I'm confused.
13
00:00:28,593 --> 00:00:30,247
You're not.
14
00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:32,684
Well, he fine. Can I have your
fake brother's real number?
15
00:00:32,684 --> 00:00:34,904
I'd like to climb
that family tree.
16
00:00:34,904 --> 00:00:36,558
[ Giggles ]
17
00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:42,085
[ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ]
18
00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:51,529
♪
19
00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:53,705
Okay, so the writing prompt
is as follows--
20
00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:57,405
you're gonna write a paragraph
about a cat with a silly job.
21
00:00:57,405 --> 00:00:59,842
I know.
It's silly, but it's fun.
22
00:00:59,842 --> 00:01:02,845
And then after we're finished,
you're gonna read them aloud--
23
00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:04,238
Um, sorry, Zara and Joya,
24
00:01:04,238 --> 00:01:05,761
why are you guys
not in your assigned seats?
25
00:01:05,761 --> 00:01:08,372
Well, she keeps taking all
the stickers off my folder
26
00:01:08,372 --> 00:01:09,591
and then putting them on hers.
27
00:01:09,591 --> 00:01:11,114
No, I'm not.
28
00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:13,116
She keeps hitting me
and taking my pencil.
29
00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:14,726
That was my pencil, dummy.
30
00:01:14,726 --> 00:01:16,772
Oh! Okay. No.
31
00:01:16,772 --> 00:01:18,034
That's enough.
32
00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:20,515
We will treat each other
with kindness.
33
00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:22,821
Now, please, get up and go
back to your regular seats.
34
00:01:22,821 --> 00:01:24,954
You don't get to decide
where you sit.
35
00:01:24,954 --> 00:01:27,217
So, Zara and Joya don't get
along the best,
36
00:01:27,217 --> 00:01:29,828
and lately,
it's been getting worse.
37
00:01:29,828 --> 00:01:32,266
Kids rub each other the wrong
way from time to time,
38
00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:34,398
but it's okay, no problem.
39
00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:35,921
I know how to handle
these things.
40
00:01:35,921 --> 00:01:38,663
I've watched so many unlikely
animal friend videos
41
00:01:38,663 --> 00:01:42,276
that I don't even know
what "unlikely" means anymore.
42
00:01:43,407 --> 00:01:46,497
I'll beat you up.
43
00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:49,326
I'm pretty sure that was
"I'll beam you up."
44
00:01:49,326 --> 00:01:52,112
Like, clearly,
she's a Trekkie.
45
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:55,202
She wants to beam her up
on her ship.
46
00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:57,160
Her friend-ship.
47
00:02:11,305 --> 00:02:13,394
My dad's in town
for a big landscaping job,
48
00:02:13,394 --> 00:02:15,918
and he wanted to stop by
to see where I work.
49
00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:18,442
Probably so he could tell me
what he finds unsatisfactory
50
00:02:18,442 --> 00:02:20,792
about it to my face...
51
00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:21,837
with love.
52
00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:25,362
Dang, can you blink?
53
00:02:25,362 --> 00:02:26,798
Is this one of those
"Stranger Things"?
54
00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:30,628
What's your favorite song,
Gregory?! [ Laughs ]
55
00:02:30,628 --> 00:02:32,630
Dad. Hello.
Welcome to Abbott.
56
00:02:32,630 --> 00:02:34,502
Thank you for having me, son.
57
00:02:34,502 --> 00:02:36,373
I'm Lt. Colonel Martin Eddie.
58
00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:38,375
- Ten hut.
- At ease.
59
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:41,639
Here's my business card.
60
00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:43,380
Let me know if you have
any landscaping needs.
61
00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:45,208
Eddie Lawn and Care
can take care of any job
62
00:02:45,208 --> 00:02:46,209
during any season.
63
00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:47,732
Mm.
64
00:02:47,732 --> 00:02:49,952
Don't look at me like that.
He gave me his number.
65
00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:52,215
Let me get you checked in,
and then I'll show you around.
66
00:02:54,043 --> 00:02:56,132
Your Hotmail account
is very brave, Mr. Eddie.
67
00:02:56,132 --> 00:02:59,744
I wouldn't trust a landscaper
with any other e-mail service.
68
00:03:00,223 --> 00:03:01,877
[ Mouthing words ]
69
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,229
You doing your taxes?
70
00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:07,665
You know you can claim
stray cats as dependents?
71
00:03:07,665 --> 00:03:10,277
[ Scoffs ] Taxes.
People still doing that?
72
00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:11,539
No, I'm trying to crunch
the numbers
73
00:03:11,539 --> 00:03:13,454
on my fantasy football squad
to find out
74
00:03:13,454 --> 00:03:15,282
why Mr. Johnson beat me.
75
00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:16,848
It was that damn Garoppolo.
76
00:03:16,848 --> 00:03:20,243
That's the last time
I draft based on hotness.
77
00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:23,681
What are you doing?
You already took that.
78
00:03:23,681 --> 00:03:25,509
Looking for your fantasy
football team,
79
00:03:25,509 --> 00:03:26,858
'cause it's trash.
80
00:03:26,858 --> 00:03:28,425
Well, now you about
to face me in the finals,
81
00:03:28,425 --> 00:03:30,253
and I do not
respect my elders.
82
00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:32,168
[ Whistling ]
83
00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:33,474
[ Chuckles ]
84
00:03:33,474 --> 00:03:34,866
There's only two things
I'm scared of--
85
00:03:34,866 --> 00:03:36,651
facing Mr. Johnson
and having to kill my granny
86
00:03:36,651 --> 00:03:37,913
during the zombie apocalypse.
87
00:03:37,913 --> 00:03:39,567
You know, Mr. Johnson's
always the first
88
00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:41,351
to claim a player
on the waiver wire.
89
00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:43,266
That's why he's been
cleaning up.
90
00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:44,441
They should make him
the new Mr. Clean.
91
00:03:44,441 --> 00:03:45,877
He's already bald.
92
00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:47,009
[ Scoffs ]
93
00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:50,012
Oh. [ Chuckles ]
94
00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:51,231
Ooh.
95
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,928
Double trouble.
96
00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:56,975
Dad, this is Melissa.
Melissa, this is my father.
97
00:03:56,975 --> 00:03:59,674
You got a good end-season
management strategy?
98
00:04:00,370 --> 00:04:01,893
I'm busy.
99
00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:04,069
So, this is
your lounge?
100
00:04:04,069 --> 00:04:05,288
Yeah. Yeah.
101
00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:06,724
You need some plants
in here.
102
00:04:06,724 --> 00:04:09,553
[ Inhales deeply ]
The air is stale.
103
00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:11,251
Uh, don't mind us.
104
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,687
We're just green-thumbing
through
105
00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:14,950
"Better Hoods and Gardens,"
looking for ideas.
106
00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:17,474
Dad, these are my coworkers,
Jacob and Barbara.
107
00:04:17,474 --> 00:04:20,347
Mr. Eddie,
wonderful to meet you.
108
00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:21,826
The caretakers of
the flourishing
109
00:04:21,826 --> 00:04:24,438
Abbott Elementary Garden
welcome you.
110
00:04:24,438 --> 00:04:26,527
I could have sworn I saw
the plants getting protected
111
00:04:26,527 --> 00:04:29,007
from frost using
cut two-liter bottles.
112
00:04:29,007 --> 00:04:30,444
A classic Eddie family method,
113
00:04:30,444 --> 00:04:33,838
except someone improved
slightly on the design.
114
00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:35,231
Y-You say "improved"?
115
00:04:35,231 --> 00:04:37,842
Well, gotta give it up
for my girl Barb for that one.
116
00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:39,104
Well, that and Sprite.
117
00:04:39,104 --> 00:04:40,758
Ah, no, no, Mr. Hill.
118
00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:43,892
That was all you,
that ingenious invention.
119
00:04:43,892 --> 00:04:45,285
No-- No, it wasn't.
120
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:48,288
I thought you did it after you
put all that mulch in?
121
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,550
Huh?
122
00:04:49,550 --> 00:04:50,942
Well, what about the cute
little labels
123
00:04:50,942 --> 00:04:53,293
letting us know
what everything is?
124
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,947
Not me. I don't know
how to write in cursive.
125
00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:01,910
Gregory.
Hmm?
126
00:05:01,910 --> 00:05:04,608
Have you been secretly
tending to the garden?
127
00:05:06,654 --> 00:05:07,437
Yes.
128
00:05:07,437 --> 00:05:08,438
For how long?
[ Gasps ]
129
00:05:08,438 --> 00:05:10,658
The entire time.
130
00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:12,355
But I planted
the daffodils.
131
00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:14,531
You did.
Just wrong.
132
00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:16,620
They were crowding each other
out, so I had to replant them.
133
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:18,796
Look at you,
showing a little initiative.
134
00:05:18,796 --> 00:05:21,930
Well-- Well, what about
the collard greens I planted?
135
00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:25,194
That was spinach, which is not
an easy mistake to make.
136
00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:27,327
Not tolerating incompetence.
137
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,458
I like that.
138
00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:29,677
Thank you, Dad.
139
00:05:29,677 --> 00:05:31,635
Gregory, why would you
sow secretly?
140
00:05:31,635 --> 00:05:33,681
Why would you
prune privately?
141
00:05:33,681 --> 00:05:36,423
Why would you
cull clandestinely?
142
00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:38,642
- Hidden hoe-ing and whatnot?
- Are you done?
143
00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:40,818
Barbara, hit him one more time.
144
00:05:40,818 --> 00:05:44,387
Why would you be tight-lipped
about tilling?
145
00:05:45,475 --> 00:05:47,825
Everything we planted
was a lie?
146
00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:48,957
No, no, no, no.
147
00:05:48,957 --> 00:05:51,612
Some of those, um,
weeds were yours.
148
00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:55,137
- Oh.
- So, you just silly, huh?
149
00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:57,966
I knew nothing could keep you
out of the dirt.
150
00:05:57,966 --> 00:05:59,533
[ Chuckles ]
151
00:06:02,797 --> 00:06:05,800
And he has been secretly
tending the garden
152
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:09,151
this whole time,
like some sort of
153
00:06:09,151 --> 00:06:10,500
plant Santa Claus.
154
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:13,590
Like a Planta Claus.
155
00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:15,375
Uh, Janine, there's
a skirmish developing
156
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,637
that needs
your attention.
157
00:06:16,637 --> 00:06:18,378
Yes, uh, Zara and Joya?
158
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,988
I am aware.
It's in process.
159
00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:21,511
They weren't getting
along earlier,
160
00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:23,513
so I made them buddies
for the week.
161
00:06:23,513 --> 00:06:25,733
Quality time will nurture understanding,
162
00:06:25,733 --> 00:06:28,039
and, you know, it'll lead
to a beautiful,
163
00:06:28,039 --> 00:06:30,694
blossoming flower
of a friendship.
164
00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:32,740
I say "flower" because we were
talking about the garden.
165
00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:35,786
I thought it was because
you're dressed like a peony.
166
00:06:35,786 --> 00:06:37,353
Anyway, trust the process.
167
00:06:37,353 --> 00:06:39,486
Before you know it,
those two will be inseparable,
168
00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:43,490
like peas and pods and--
169
00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:44,491
[ Grunts ]
170
00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:45,492
[ Child and Janine gasp ]
171
00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:47,711
Dang!
You got milked!
172
00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:50,322
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Nope, nope, nope! Nope!
173
00:06:50,322 --> 00:06:51,454
No, no.
174
00:06:51,454 --> 00:06:52,890
Yeah, just trust the process.
175
00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:54,979
[ Children grunting
and arguing ]
176
00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,071
So, I heard one of your kids
got hit in a milk-by.
177
00:07:00,071 --> 00:07:01,638
Just kicking the dust
off their friendship.
178
00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:03,379
I don't think they like
each other.
179
00:07:03,379 --> 00:07:04,598
Okay, guys, you know what?
180
00:07:04,598 --> 00:07:06,251
These kids should be able
to get along,
181
00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:07,731
and I can get them there.
182
00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:10,386
Yes. Look, my mom and sister
used to fight all the time,
183
00:07:10,386 --> 00:07:11,735
and I would mediate.
184
00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:13,911
I was both the crisis negotiator
and the hostage.
185
00:07:13,911 --> 00:07:15,609
I was Jack Bauer
and Jack Bauer.
186
00:07:15,609 --> 00:07:17,262
And now they're closer
than ever.
187
00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:19,221
Doesn't your sister live
in Colorado?
188
00:07:19,221 --> 00:07:21,266
Physically, but emotionally,
she never left.
189
00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:23,094
I don't know. Some people
just hate each other,
190
00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:24,574
and that's fine.
191
00:07:24,574 --> 00:07:26,533
That's right. I don't like
Janine, and it's going great.
192
00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:28,012
Well, I'm a pacifist.
193
00:07:28,012 --> 00:07:30,624
You mess with me, I'm-a pass
a fist across your face.
194
00:07:30,624 --> 00:07:32,582
Well, I don't hate anyone.
195
00:07:32,582 --> 00:07:34,932
Except for
Jimmy Dontel-Anderson.
196
00:07:34,932 --> 00:07:36,456
- Goodnight.
- Yeah, in sixth grade,
197
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,761
he threw a handful
of grapes at me
198
00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:39,894
while I was doing my solo
in "Moulin Rouge Jr."
199
00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:42,462
One went right into my mouth,
straight down my throat,
200
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,942
and I had to give myself
the Heimlich.
201
00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:47,118
Our chorus teacher didn't even
stop playing.
202
00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:48,772
She just...
203
00:07:48,772 --> 00:07:50,948
You know,
the show must go on.
204
00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:54,865
Okay, Sophia, you're up to read
the family tree report.
205
00:07:54,865 --> 00:07:58,521
Melissa, I have something
urgent to discuss with you.
206
00:07:58,521 --> 00:08:00,610
Be right back.
What's going on?
207
00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:02,525
It's about the fantasy football championships.
208
00:08:02,525 --> 00:08:03,961
Why'd I even ask?
209
00:08:03,961 --> 00:08:05,441
At the end of his sermon,
I heard my pastor
210
00:08:05,441 --> 00:08:07,269
say that Christian McCaffrey
might not play this weekend.
211
00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:08,792
Then he said some nonsense
about gambling
212
00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:10,794
not being of the Lord,
but I was on my way out.
213
00:08:10,794 --> 00:08:12,970
McCaffrey is Mr. Johnson's
best player.
214
00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:15,495
Exactly. And if I pick up
his backup first,
215
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,800
like a Black woman
on "The Voice,"
216
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,193
he has no chance of winning.
217
00:08:18,193 --> 00:08:20,151
Waiver wire opens at 2:00.
You distract him,
218
00:08:20,151 --> 00:08:21,631
and then I'll pick up
McCaffrey's backup.
219
00:08:21,631 --> 00:08:23,503
Uh-huh.
What's in it for me?
220
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:24,808
4% of my fantasy winnings.
221
00:08:24,808 --> 00:08:26,984
20%, and your shelf
in the fridge.
222
00:08:26,984 --> 00:08:29,857
Damn. That's where I keep
my various mustards.
223
00:08:31,859 --> 00:08:35,427
The Buddy System was too
surface-level for Joya and Zara.
224
00:08:35,427 --> 00:08:38,430
They need to know what's going
on internally with each other,
225
00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:39,997
truly empathize.
226
00:08:39,997 --> 00:08:42,739
So, I'm having them do a project
where they trace one another
227
00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:44,349
and then fill it in
with all the things
228
00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:45,612
that make their partner special.
229
00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:47,614
So... Yeah.
230
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:49,659
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
231
00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:50,834
It looks like fun.
232
00:08:50,834 --> 00:08:52,227
I wish somebody would trace me.
233
00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:54,838
I think I'd be like 95%
"Family Matters" re-runs
234
00:08:54,838 --> 00:08:58,015
and then 5% Dunkaroos.
235
00:08:58,015 --> 00:09:02,106
In conclusion, it was very nice
getting to know Quagmire.
236
00:09:02,106 --> 00:09:03,194
It's Quahir.
237
00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:05,370
Okay. Alright, guys.
That's good.
238
00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:07,329
[ Applause ]
239
00:09:07,329 --> 00:09:09,026
Alright, um, you know what?
240
00:09:09,026 --> 00:09:13,030
Let's have Joya and Zara
go next.
241
00:09:13,030 --> 00:09:14,771
Come on up.
242
00:09:22,736 --> 00:09:26,043
Here you can see that Joya
is full of poop,
243
00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:28,872
not just where
you expect poop to be--
244
00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:31,832
everywhere,
especially her big head.
245
00:09:31,832 --> 00:09:33,050
Alright, you know what,
Zara?
246
00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:34,399
That was not the assignment.
247
00:09:34,399 --> 00:09:37,489
Unlike Zara, I actually
did the assignment.
248
00:09:37,489 --> 00:09:42,103
You can see she likes gum,
Gucci flip flops, and Roblox.
249
00:09:42,103 --> 00:09:43,626
Okay, now, that was actually
what I was--
250
00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:44,888
I'm not done.
251
00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:46,716
I want to talk
about the outside, too.
252
00:09:46,716 --> 00:09:50,807
Smelly breath, smelly farts,
smelly pits,
253
00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:53,331
because she stinks.
254
00:09:53,331 --> 00:09:54,637
Whoa!
255
00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:56,944
You know what?
That's the final straw.
256
00:09:56,944 --> 00:09:59,642
Do you two want to watch
"Toy Story" tomorrow?
257
00:09:59,642 --> 00:10:01,905
Which one?
I can't do 3 again.
258
00:10:01,905 --> 00:10:03,777
Alright, well, you're not
gonna be watching any of them
259
00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:05,561
unless you guys find a way
to settle this.
260
00:10:05,561 --> 00:10:07,955
If you're mature enough
to make the graphic drawings,
261
00:10:07,955 --> 00:10:10,087
then you're mature enough
to work this out.
262
00:10:10,087 --> 00:10:13,395
Find a solution or you'll be
in the library for Movie Friday.
263
00:10:13,395 --> 00:10:15,310
And we are watching
the first "Toy Story."
264
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:16,746
The third one makes me cry.
265
00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:19,401
So, get back to your seats,
please. Thank you.
266
00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:25,537
[ Cellphone vibrating ]
267
00:10:26,234 --> 00:10:28,671
Oh, hey, Pop.
I mean, uh, sir.
268
00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:30,151
Yeah, you're funny.
269
00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:31,718
I just wanted to tell you
how proud I was
270
00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:33,371
of your little
gardening method.
271
00:10:33,371 --> 00:10:34,851
Sorry?
Don't be.
272
00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:36,592
Frankly, I'm quite impressed
you continued
273
00:10:36,592 --> 00:10:38,638
our landscaping legacy.
274
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:41,118
Well, I couldn't let
those plants just die.
275
00:10:41,118 --> 00:10:43,555
If you're available,
come help me out on this job.
276
00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:45,949
Earn some extra cash,
maybe take that Amber girl
277
00:10:45,949 --> 00:10:48,909
out on a proper date
to a French restaurant
278
00:10:48,909 --> 00:10:51,651
that you can't pronounce.
279
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:52,652
You want my input?
280
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,001
Oui, oui.
281
00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:56,307
Uh, o-okay.
Yeah, sure.
282
00:10:56,307 --> 00:10:58,745
I'll take it.[ Cellphone chimes ]
283
00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:01,965
So, you're taking
your gardening skills
284
00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:04,011
out into the broad daylight,
285
00:11:04,011 --> 00:11:05,839
Mr. "What We Do
In The Shadows"?
286
00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:07,144
It's just for
a little extra cash.
287
00:11:07,144 --> 00:11:08,189
Mm.
288
00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:14,021
You look like you're trying
to mute a smile.
289
00:11:14,021 --> 00:11:15,544
I am?
290
00:11:15,544 --> 00:11:18,808
Mm-hmm.
291
00:11:18,808 --> 00:11:20,288
I don't think my dad's
ever asked for my input
292
00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:21,898
on anything before,
except for that time
293
00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:23,900
when he asked
if I thought I was being funny.
294
00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:27,295
You caught me.
295
00:11:27,295 --> 00:11:28,513
I'm happy.
296
00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:29,993
I think I'm experiencing
what they refer to
297
00:11:29,993 --> 00:11:32,909
as Black boy joy,
even though I am a man.
298
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:37,348
You see that?
They're getting along.
299
00:11:37,348 --> 00:11:39,176
I haven't had a problem
the entire morning.
300
00:11:39,176 --> 00:11:40,351
Hey!
301
00:11:40,351 --> 00:11:42,876
Are you the girl
I'm supposed to beat up?
302
00:11:42,876 --> 00:11:44,312
You a little small
for an eighth grader,
303
00:11:44,312 --> 00:11:46,662
but I don't discriminate.
304
00:11:46,662 --> 00:11:47,707
Hey.
305
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,012
There she is.
306
00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:50,753
That's the girl who said
she's gonna beat you up.
307
00:11:50,753 --> 00:11:52,929
I heard your sister been saying
that my sister's full of poop.
308
00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:54,409
Wait, no one's been saying
anyone is--
309
00:11:54,409 --> 00:11:56,150
And I heard your sister's been
saying my sister's smelly.
310
00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:58,369
Well, smells like your
whole family smelling smelly.
311
00:11:58,369 --> 00:11:59,849
Fight!
312
00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:03,113
[ Children shouting ]
313
00:12:08,031 --> 00:12:09,380
- Come at me, sis!
- No, I ain't scared!
314
00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:10,425
And don't hide behind
that eighth grader!
315
00:12:10,425 --> 00:12:11,600
She can't help you!
316
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:12,993
Okay, I am
a full grown woman,
317
00:12:12,993 --> 00:12:13,820
and there is a better way
to handle this, girls.
318
00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:14,995
Below the belt, Keke!
319
00:12:14,995 --> 00:12:16,387
Smash her like
she smashed my milk!
320
00:12:16,387 --> 00:12:18,738
Stop! You guys!
Yeah, Ava, get them.
321
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,087
Only in America.
[ Laughs ]
322
00:12:20,087 --> 00:12:22,089
Hey, hey, relax.
This is designer.
323
00:12:22,089 --> 00:12:27,007
What in the Earth, Wind,
and Fire is going on here?
324
00:12:27,007 --> 00:12:28,399
Yeah, I don't know.
325
00:12:28,399 --> 00:12:31,228
Zara, Joya, I asked you guys
to handle this
326
00:12:31,228 --> 00:12:32,708
and you said you came
to an agreement.
327
00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:35,972
Yeah, we agreed that our sisters
would fight each other.
328
00:12:38,105 --> 00:12:40,237
Shame to see my queens fight.
329
00:12:40,237 --> 00:12:43,458
But I thought Ms. Teagues
was gonna get molly-whopped.
330
00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:46,287
[ Melissa gasps ]
331
00:12:47,941 --> 00:12:49,594
Hey, Tasia, come here.
332
00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:51,248
Can you do Ms. Schemmenti
a favor?
333
00:12:51,248 --> 00:12:53,729
Can you take this tub of dirty
paint water and empty it out
334
00:12:53,729 --> 00:12:55,862
in the sink in the bathroom
at the end of the hall?
335
00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:58,125
I doubt it, but I'll try.
336
00:13:00,736 --> 00:13:02,782
Oh.
337
00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:06,960
Operation Splash Interference
is in effect.
338
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:10,833
Ms. Schemmenti,
I spilled all over the bathroom.
339
00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:11,878
I'm sorry.
340
00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:14,228
You did great, kid.
341
00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:22,671
Ava: Attention Abbott Custodian,
A.K.A. Mr. Johnson.
342
00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:25,717
We have a drop and mop.
Drop what you're doing and mop.
343
00:13:25,717 --> 00:13:28,590
Report to the girls' bathroom
at the east end hallway,
344
00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:30,810
ASAPington.
345
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,159
I haven't seen a mess like this
346
00:13:32,159 --> 00:13:35,031
since the Playboy Mansion
in '86.
347
00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:41,298
Okay, everybody knows
that bathroom is a dead zone
348
00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:43,300
for cell service,
and he still got an Obama phone.
349
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:44,867
Okay, well, hurry up,
because it's 2:00
350
00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:46,782
and he mops at a rate
of 4 SPMs--
351
00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:48,392
squeegees per minute.
352
00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:49,654
What the--
What's the matter?
353
00:13:49,654 --> 00:13:50,699
Did you get him?
He's gone.
354
00:13:50,699 --> 00:13:51,874
He picked up the backup.
355
00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:53,180
But the waiver wire
just opened
356
00:13:53,180 --> 00:13:55,008
and he's in the middle
of cell hell.
357
00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:56,879
Well, that old man's mop bucket
must have Ethernet,
358
00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:57,924
because he got him.
359
00:13:57,924 --> 00:13:59,882
[ Crying ]
360
00:13:59,882 --> 00:14:01,318
[ Inhales deeply ]
361
00:14:01,318 --> 00:14:03,625
There's no crying
in fantasy football.
362
00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:07,324
Martin: Ground's still
a bit frozen.
363
00:14:07,324 --> 00:14:10,501
Make sure you use that good
Eddie musculature I gave you.
364
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,765
[ Chuckles ]
Don't work so hard, son.
365
00:14:13,765 --> 00:14:14,941
You know what happened
to John Henry.
366
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:16,551
[ Chuckles ]
367
00:14:17,552 --> 00:14:21,686
You know, uh, I've been
giving it some thought.
368
00:14:21,686 --> 00:14:24,907
What if I added an "and son"
to Eddie Lawn and Care?
369
00:14:24,907 --> 00:14:26,648
Eddie and Son
and Lawn and Care?
370
00:14:26,648 --> 00:14:28,519
No.
371
00:14:28,519 --> 00:14:30,870
Eddie and Son Lawn Care.
372
00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:36,876
What about your, uh,
your fake son from the flier?
373
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,007
Great model.
374
00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:39,313
Terrible gardener.
375
00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:41,271
[ Chuckles ]
What are you trying to say, Dad?
376
00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:42,490
I mean, we've talked about me
working for you.
377
00:14:42,490 --> 00:14:44,100
You tell me to do something,
I do it,
378
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:45,797
you say,
"Nope, not like that."
379
00:14:45,797 --> 00:14:48,888
I then correct it, and you go,
"No, that's still not it."
380
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,541
Then you say, "Fine,
I'll just do it myself."
381
00:14:50,541 --> 00:14:52,674
Then I watch you do
exactly what I did,
382
00:14:52,674 --> 00:14:54,981
and then you say,
"What an improvement."
383
00:14:54,981 --> 00:14:57,374
I'm not asking you
to work for me.
384
00:14:57,374 --> 00:14:59,899
I'm asking you
to work with me.
385
00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:02,379
Why now?
386
00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:03,772
Look, I'm trying to get into
business with you,
387
00:15:03,772 --> 00:15:06,253
and eventually, I'm gonna retire
and leave it to you,
388
00:15:06,253 --> 00:15:08,864
but first, I just needed to know
you could carry your own weight,
389
00:15:08,864 --> 00:15:10,300
and you can.
390
00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:12,259
I've never seen you
more confident.
391
00:15:18,265 --> 00:15:19,440
Ooh.
392
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,965
What a wonderful drawing of a--
a poop head.
393
00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:25,272
Yeah.
My fighting students.
394
00:15:25,272 --> 00:15:26,664
Oh.
395
00:15:26,664 --> 00:15:28,666
Well, I see that you signed up
for my office hour.
396
00:15:28,666 --> 00:15:29,972
Oh, yeah, yeah.
397
00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:32,018
So, I'll see you in a week
and a half.
398
00:15:33,889 --> 00:15:35,064
And what do you know?
399
00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:36,718
Just like that,
a spot opened up.
400
00:15:36,718 --> 00:15:40,200
Hmm.
401
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,592
Okay.
402
00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:44,726
Alright, so, I'm upset
with myself
403
00:15:44,726 --> 00:15:47,511
about how things turned out
with Zara and Joya.
404
00:15:47,511 --> 00:15:50,732
I feel like all of my solutions
just created more problems.
405
00:15:50,732 --> 00:15:53,213
I feel like I really got my math
wrong with this one.
406
00:15:53,213 --> 00:15:55,606
Janine, this isn't math.
407
00:15:55,606 --> 00:15:59,088
The two of them just don't
enjoy each other's company.
408
00:15:59,088 --> 00:16:00,437
What's wrong with that?
409
00:16:00,437 --> 00:16:03,571
I'm-- [ Sighs ]
I'm not sure.
410
00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:06,617
Just people not getting along,
it makes me uncomfortable.
411
00:16:06,617 --> 00:16:10,491
Well, have you reflected
on why that is?
412
00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:12,406
No, but I have tried journaling.
413
00:16:12,406 --> 00:16:13,929
Janine, has there ever been
a time
414
00:16:13,929 --> 00:16:17,541
where you've had
to sit with conflict?
415
00:16:17,541 --> 00:16:20,066
Well, yeah, my mom used to do
these things
416
00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:22,633
that would really upset
my sister,
417
00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:26,811
and, you know, they kind of
would get into their squabbles,
418
00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:30,467
and I would get put in
the middle of their squabbles,
419
00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:32,339
and they would want me
to choose sides,
420
00:16:32,339 --> 00:16:34,819
and I just
wanted it to stop.
421
00:16:34,819 --> 00:16:37,561
Mm.
It was awful.
422
00:16:37,561 --> 00:16:39,999
Even now, when my sister
comes to visit,
423
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,652
she doesn't want
my mom to know.
424
00:16:41,652 --> 00:16:44,481
And if she does,
they get all squabbly.
425
00:16:44,481 --> 00:16:48,050
And as difficult as that sounds,
I have to tell you,
426
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:49,791
this is not about them.
427
00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:51,140
This is about you.
428
00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:55,057
You need to become comfortable
being uncomfortable.
429
00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:58,582
Sometimes, two people just
don't like each other,
430
00:16:58,582 --> 00:17:01,368
like me and that usher
at church.
431
00:17:01,368 --> 00:17:05,111
I'll sit
where I want to sit. Mm.
432
00:17:05,111 --> 00:17:06,677
Hey, Barbara?
Hmm?
433
00:17:06,677 --> 00:17:08,157
See you next week
for office hour?
434
00:17:08,157 --> 00:17:09,767
Wait a minute,
I thought this was--
435
00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:12,857
[ Chuckles ] Oh, Barbara.
I'm gonna have a ton of problems
436
00:17:12,857 --> 00:17:14,250
by then, too.
437
00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:17,688
Janine, don't make me call
a 7th grader to beat you up.
438
00:17:17,688 --> 00:17:19,168
[ Laughs ]
Not funny.
439
00:17:19,168 --> 00:17:22,084
Now that we have our jar
and our wet paper towel,
440
00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:23,303
we're gonna take the seed
441
00:17:23,303 --> 00:17:25,087
and put it inside
the wet paper towel
442
00:17:25,087 --> 00:17:27,655
so that it can germinate
inside the jar.
443
00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:30,049
But remember that the seeds
are very fragile,
444
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,355
so we have to take
extra special care
445
00:17:32,355 --> 00:17:34,053
to make sure
that they can grow.
446
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,577
Look, Mr. Eddie,
I'm Jason.
447
00:17:38,448 --> 00:17:40,537
Okay. Now, Jordan Peele
that off your face
448
00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:43,062
so we can go through
the steps of germination.
449
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:45,412
Wow, look at you.
450
00:17:45,412 --> 00:17:47,153
Got your fingers in the mud
with your pops
451
00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:49,590
and it inspired you
to embrace your roots.
452
00:17:51,244 --> 00:17:53,507
It went well with your dad, though?
453
00:17:53,507 --> 00:17:55,552
He actually asked me
to run the company with him.
454
00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:58,251
Mama told me
there'd be days like this.
455
00:17:58,251 --> 00:17:59,643
I'm not leaving Abbott, Jacob.
456
00:17:59,643 --> 00:18:02,168
I said no.
457
00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:03,430
Obviously. Yeah.
458
00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:05,519
No, I never--
I never thought you would.
459
00:18:05,519 --> 00:18:08,304
Actually, he, uh--
noticed how confident I seemed,
460
00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:09,740
and I said it's because
I'm at Abbott.
461
00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:12,091
First time I've been at a place
that I love,
462
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,266
doing something that I love.
463
00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:14,441
Yeah, with people
that you love?
464
00:18:14,441 --> 00:18:15,703
No, I didn't say that.
465
00:18:15,703 --> 00:18:17,661
But this job
did give me confidence.
466
00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:19,141
You know, I never liked
gardening before,
467
00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:21,796
but I like doing it here.
468
00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:23,493
Well, I, for one,
am happy to know
469
00:18:23,493 --> 00:18:25,104
that we will be
gardening together.
470
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,193
Green thumb buddies.
471
00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:29,934
Mr. Eddie,
I accidentally dropped my seed
472
00:18:29,934 --> 00:18:32,589
into my mouth and then
I accidentally ate it.
473
00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:35,418
Am I going to have a lemon tree
grow inside my belly?
474
00:18:35,418 --> 00:18:36,767
Well, let's think about it.
475
00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:38,987
Did you also swallow
a wet paper towel?
476
00:18:38,987 --> 00:18:40,467
Yes.
477
00:18:42,643 --> 00:18:44,514
Alright, let's go to the nurse.
478
00:18:44,514 --> 00:18:47,300
[ "You've Got a Friend in Me"
playing ]
479
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:49,693
♪ You've got a friend in me
480
00:18:49,693 --> 00:18:51,739
♪
481
00:18:51,739 --> 00:18:53,654
♪ You've got a friend in me
482
00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:55,264
♪
483
00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:57,701
Is it hard when people I care
about don't like each other?
484
00:18:57,701 --> 00:18:59,790
Of course. If I had it my way,
Woody and Buzz
485
00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:01,879
would have started out friends, yeah.
486
00:19:01,879 --> 00:19:03,229
But I have to learn to accept
487
00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:05,796
that what my students
are feeling is real.
488
00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:09,278
'Cause this is real life
and not Pixar.
489
00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:11,150
♪ ...rough ahead
490
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,804
♪ And you're miles and miles
from your nice, warm bed ♪
491
00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:15,806
Oh.
492
00:19:15,806 --> 00:19:18,374
♪ You just remember
what your old pal said ♪
493
00:19:18,374 --> 00:19:24,685
♪ You've got a friend in me
494
00:19:24,685 --> 00:19:26,077
[ Laughs ]
495
00:19:26,077 --> 00:19:27,470
♪ Just reme--
I don't--
496
00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:29,211
I don't know
the rest of the lyrics.
497
00:19:29,211 --> 00:19:31,257
See ya. Whoa.
498
00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:32,519
Uh, what are you two doing here?
499
00:19:32,519 --> 00:19:33,998
We're here to pick up
our sisters.
500
00:19:33,998 --> 00:19:35,565
Oh.
501
00:19:35,565 --> 00:19:38,394
Okay, so you just happened
to be here at the same time,
502
00:19:38,394 --> 00:19:41,484
and you're getting along very--
very cordial?
503
00:19:41,484 --> 00:19:43,007
Cordial?
Nah, we friends.
504
00:19:43,007 --> 00:19:44,531
Yeah.
Friends?
505
00:19:44,531 --> 00:19:46,924
Yeah. After you stopped us from
fighting, we got to talking.
506
00:19:46,924 --> 00:19:49,144
Seems like we have
some common interests.
507
00:19:49,144 --> 00:19:50,754
We both love butterflies.
508
00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:51,538
Aww.
509
00:19:51,538 --> 00:19:53,192
And beating people up.
510
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,846
Okay.
Well, you know what?
511
00:19:55,846 --> 00:19:57,196
That's wonderful, girls.
512
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,806
Really. It is.
513
00:19:58,806 --> 00:19:59,807
Have a good night, okay?
514
00:19:59,807 --> 00:20:00,895
You, too. Bye.
515
00:20:00,895 --> 00:20:03,637
Bye.
516
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,384
[ Sighs ]
517
00:20:13,299 --> 00:20:15,518
[ Line ringing ]
518
00:20:15,518 --> 00:20:17,781
Ayesha: Hey, it's Ayesha.
You know what to do.
519
00:20:17,781 --> 00:20:18,782
[ Voicemail beeps ]
520
00:20:18,782 --> 00:20:20,131
Hey, Ayesha.
521
00:20:20,131 --> 00:20:22,351
It's me. Um...
522
00:20:22,351 --> 00:20:24,266
I was wondering if
you were gonna still come visit,
523
00:20:24,266 --> 00:20:27,661
because I think you should.
524
00:20:27,661 --> 00:20:28,923
And don't worry.
525
00:20:28,923 --> 00:20:30,272
I won't tell Mom.
526
00:20:30,272 --> 00:20:32,013
I promise.
527
00:20:32,013 --> 00:20:35,669
So, just give me a call back.
528
00:20:35,669 --> 00:20:37,410
Okay.
529
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,629
[ Click ]
530
00:20:42,632 --> 00:20:44,591
The champ is here.
[ Laughs ]
531
00:20:44,591 --> 00:20:46,549
Start calling me Sir Johnson,
532
00:20:46,549 --> 00:20:49,813
as I have been knighted
by the Queen of Trash herself,
533
00:20:49,813 --> 00:20:54,688
Ava's fantasy football roster.
Oh!
534
00:20:54,688 --> 00:20:57,038
You only won 'cause you got on
the waiver wire before I could.
535
00:20:57,038 --> 00:20:58,692
Which, by the way,
how is that even possible?
536
00:20:58,692 --> 00:20:59,997
Didn't you have a spill
to clean up?
537
00:20:59,997 --> 00:21:02,391
[ Laughing ]
Yeah, on aisle three-peat.
538
00:21:02,391 --> 00:21:05,089
- Hey, here's your cut.
- What?!
539
00:21:05,089 --> 00:21:06,613
You're helping him out?
540
00:21:06,613 --> 00:21:08,267
You were the one jumping
on the waiver wire.
541
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:11,008
Yeah, I thought you had
a moral objection to the NFL.
542
00:21:11,008 --> 00:21:13,663
And while those
moral objections still stand,
543
00:21:13,663 --> 00:21:16,492
I will do anything
to see my man smile.
544
00:21:21,149 --> 00:21:23,630
[ Blows, imitates bird cawing ]