1 00:00:03,438 --> 00:00:05,483 I, for one, loathe that we live in a surveillance state, 2 00:00:05,527 --> 00:00:07,311 but is there any chance there is a security camera 3 00:00:07,355 --> 00:00:08,878 pointed towards the bike rack? 4 00:00:08,921 --> 00:00:11,011 No. Our camera is pointed at the drop-off line 5 00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:12,838 so I can see which dads have nice cars. 6 00:00:12,882 --> 00:00:15,667 Why? A bike has gone missing. 7 00:00:15,711 --> 00:00:17,147 Who would steal a child's bike? 8 00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:19,715 Well, maybe not a child's, but an adult's. 9 00:00:19,758 --> 00:00:21,325 Your bike got stolen? 10 00:00:21,369 --> 00:00:23,762 [ Laughs ] 11 00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:28,767 I saw an unfamiliar man milling about the rack this morning. 12 00:00:28,811 --> 00:00:30,856 Okay, well, what did he look like? 13 00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:37,689 U-Uh, I would say he had a, you know, 14 00:00:37,733 --> 00:00:41,693 somewhat curly and spherical haircut. 15 00:00:41,737 --> 00:00:42,955 An afro? 16 00:00:42,999 --> 00:00:44,261 It was-- Some might call it-- 17 00:00:44,305 --> 00:00:45,784 You know what, this feels reductive. 18 00:00:45,828 --> 00:00:47,873 No, no, no! No, let's get to the bottom of this. 19 00:00:47,917 --> 00:00:49,353 Would you describe this person 20 00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:52,530 as someone who might have difficulty getting a loan? 21 00:00:52,574 --> 00:00:54,097 You know what? It's fine. [ Laughs ] 22 00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:56,230 Was it really ever my bike, anyways? 23 00:00:56,273 --> 00:00:59,102 You know, does anyone really own anything? 24 00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:03,715 I will, uh, leave you to ponder that query, 25 00:01:03,759 --> 00:01:06,979 and, uh, adieu. 26 00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:10,809 I suppose I won't be needing this. 27 00:01:12,246 --> 00:01:14,552 [ Laughs ] 28 00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:18,295 [ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ] 29 00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:25,824 ♪ 30 00:01:27,435 --> 00:01:29,437 After reading the material and looking at the data 31 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:31,091 from the past five years, 32 00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:32,614 I have to agree with the nutritional board of Missouri 33 00:01:32,657 --> 00:01:34,572 that small changes like a beverage 34 00:01:34,616 --> 00:01:36,487 can lead to seismic shifts. 35 00:01:36,531 --> 00:01:38,141 Guys, this juice is the future. 36 00:01:38,185 --> 00:01:39,838 You don't need to stand when you talk. 37 00:01:39,882 --> 00:01:43,146 You don't need to talk, period. 38 00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:44,930 Devin: Once a year, the lunch crew has a meeting 39 00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:47,585 to discuss new menu options from the school district. 40 00:01:47,629 --> 00:01:49,413 This year it was about juice. 41 00:01:49,457 --> 00:01:52,112 Now, the meeting is technically open to all staff, 42 00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:53,939 but most teachers take the hint 43 00:01:53,983 --> 00:01:56,333 and leave it to the professionals. 44 00:01:56,377 --> 00:01:59,771 One teacher wouldn't know a hint if it closed a door in her face. 45 00:01:59,815 --> 00:02:01,251 Twice. 46 00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:03,862 You guys missed a great lunch committee meeting. 47 00:02:03,906 --> 00:02:05,473 They don't want teachers there. 48 00:02:05,516 --> 00:02:08,519 Oh, so they just say "all are welcome" as a formality? 49 00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:10,130 Yeah, right. [ Chuckles ] 50 00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:12,610 Oh, God. Anyway, someone had to get the scoop 51 00:02:12,654 --> 00:02:14,482 on this hot new juice. 52 00:02:14,525 --> 00:02:16,527 It's two more ounces than the juice the kids are drinking now 53 00:02:16,571 --> 00:02:18,964 and five percent more real juice. 54 00:02:19,008 --> 00:02:20,227 That's 10 percent more juice. 55 00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:22,838 Okay, math! Yes, it's less sugar. 56 00:02:22,881 --> 00:02:24,361 It's better all around. 57 00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:26,494 It's a really easy low-lift win for our kids. 58 00:02:26,537 --> 00:02:27,799 So what do you guys think? 59 00:02:27,843 --> 00:02:29,149 -Less sugar is compelling. -Mm-hmm. 60 00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:30,498 I'm not really a big fan of juice. 61 00:02:30,541 --> 00:02:32,456 I prefer nature's juice-- 62 00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,632 water. 63 00:02:34,676 --> 00:02:36,678 What do you think, Barbara? 64 00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:39,463 I say no. The kids aren't complaining. 65 00:02:39,507 --> 00:02:42,292 If it ain't broke, don't fix it. 66 00:02:42,336 --> 00:02:43,511 I'm with Barbara. 67 00:02:43,554 --> 00:02:44,990 Okay, well, I'm for it, 68 00:02:45,034 --> 00:02:46,470 but I would love to discuss further. 69 00:02:46,514 --> 00:02:48,820 I have been here a long time, Janine. 70 00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:49,952 Trust me. 71 00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:52,172 New projects mean new problems. 72 00:02:52,215 --> 00:02:53,564 Mm-hmm. [ Scoffs ] 73 00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:55,653 What problems could there possibly be? 74 00:02:55,697 --> 00:02:57,351 "Oh, no, help me. I'm hurting... 75 00:02:57,394 --> 00:02:59,222 from getting too much of my daily recommended 76 00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:00,484 fruit servings. 77 00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:02,486 [ Laughter ] 78 00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:03,835 There's no downside here. 79 00:03:03,879 --> 00:03:06,011 It seems like you have made up your mind. 80 00:03:06,055 --> 00:03:09,319 Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go teach my children 81 00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:12,670 what happens if you give a moose a muffin. 82 00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:14,237 It does not end well. 83 00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:15,934 New juice it is. 84 00:03:15,978 --> 00:03:19,242 Okay, so if you have a dollar, and your brother, 85 00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:20,678 who already owes you 10 grand 86 00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,593 'cause he keeps backing the Jets, 87 00:03:22,637 --> 00:03:25,205 wants to borrow 75 cents... 88 00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:26,423 Where are my quarters? 89 00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:27,685 [ Change rattles ] Ashley: Whoo! 90 00:03:27,729 --> 00:03:29,861 [ Children cheering ] 91 00:03:29,905 --> 00:03:32,342 Ashley Garcia, Frankford, Philly. 92 00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:35,693 Old enough to know better, young enough to sheesh. 93 00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:37,391 And I'm here at Abbott as an aide 94 00:03:37,434 --> 00:03:39,088 'cause I'm helpful as hell. 95 00:03:39,131 --> 00:03:41,351 That's why I've been at four schools in four months. 96 00:03:41,395 --> 00:03:43,266 'Cause everyone wants a piece. 97 00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:45,050 Hey, are those mine? 98 00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:46,704 Hey, you want your own quarters, 99 00:03:46,748 --> 00:03:48,271 date your own vending machine guy. 100 00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:51,709 I'm using them for my science lesson on momentum. 101 00:03:51,753 --> 00:03:53,711 Oh! If it's heads, I get to keep it. 102 00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:55,322 It's tails. 103 00:03:58,281 --> 00:04:01,458 [ Indistinct conversations ] 104 00:04:01,502 --> 00:04:03,721 Would you look at this? The kids love it, 105 00:04:03,765 --> 00:04:05,723 and the juice is flying off the trays. 106 00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:08,900 Yeah, maybe next year we could get real meat. 107 00:04:08,944 --> 00:04:10,772 Mmm. 108 00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:13,122 Mm. What's that I taste? 109 00:04:13,165 --> 00:04:16,256 Is that the nectar of sweet victory? 110 00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:18,388 Yeah, the kids are having more juice, 111 00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:20,912 but less sugar, and they seem very happy. 112 00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:23,480 That's nice, dear. 113 00:04:23,524 --> 00:04:25,265 You gotta admit this was a good idea. 114 00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:27,397 You know, your kids are probably loving it. 115 00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:29,269 Well, I guess we'll never know 116 00:04:29,312 --> 00:04:32,837 because I did not opt in for this juice. 117 00:04:32,881 --> 00:04:34,274 Why not? 118 00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:36,014 Because my class will be sticking with the juice 119 00:04:36,058 --> 00:04:39,453 that has been working for the past 20 years. 120 00:04:39,496 --> 00:04:41,759 If it ain't broke, don't fix it. 121 00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:43,108 All right, you know what? I think they should change 122 00:04:43,152 --> 00:04:45,285 that phrase to "If it ain't broke, 123 00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:47,112 do fix it sometimes 124 00:04:47,156 --> 00:04:48,505 because it might make it better." 125 00:04:48,549 --> 00:04:51,334 So you want to fix an unbroken phrase 126 00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:54,337 that has been used effectively for generations? 127 00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:57,297 If it makes it better, then yes. 128 00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:59,429 Ugh. 129 00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:01,431 Don't worry. Chapter books will be a breeze. 130 00:05:01,475 --> 00:05:03,433 Most books are based off movies anyway, 131 00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:04,521 so you can watch instead of-- 132 00:05:04,565 --> 00:05:07,698 No, no! No. 133 00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:11,311 Ashley is more easily distracted than my second graders. 134 00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:12,790 But I got a plan. 135 00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:15,010 I figure if we organize her work, it'd help, 136 00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:17,360 so I made her a to-do list, 137 00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:19,623 which is different from my to-do list, 138 00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:22,191 which includes Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. 139 00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:23,975 Or Jon "The Rock" Bon Jovi. 140 00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:26,717 Yeah, so where are youse on that checklist? 141 00:05:26,761 --> 00:05:28,023 Oh. 142 00:05:28,066 --> 00:05:29,807 Ashley. Checklist. 143 00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:31,505 Oh, you meant me? 144 00:05:31,548 --> 00:05:32,854 Right. Good! Great. 145 00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:34,551 I mean, I lost it. Of course. 146 00:05:34,595 --> 00:05:36,379 Okay, so you're supposed to be working on words 147 00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:39,991 with H's after P's. 'Kay? 148 00:05:40,035 --> 00:05:42,559 H's after D's? That's weird. 149 00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:44,561 No. H's after P. 150 00:05:44,605 --> 00:05:47,695 P. [ Snorts ] 151 00:05:47,738 --> 00:05:49,349 You said pee-pee. 152 00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:52,221 [ Laughter ] 153 00:05:52,264 --> 00:05:55,224 Hot, right? So this is vintage 2019 Zara, 154 00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:58,488 previously loved. I'm gonna start this listing at $20. 155 00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:00,360 Okay, I see you @moolahbaybee. 156 00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:01,839 Can I get $25? 157 00:06:01,883 --> 00:06:04,059 Ava, it's urgent. 158 00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:05,843 Okay, sold to @moolahbaybee. 159 00:06:05,887 --> 00:06:09,847 You better count your blessings, fan, 'cause this is a steal. 160 00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:10,935 [ Cellphone chimes ] 161 00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:12,415 Okay, y'all, I gotta run. 162 00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:14,025 Remember, my live pop-up sales only happen 163 00:06:14,069 --> 00:06:16,201 Monday through Friday, 9:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m... 164 00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:17,855 Otherwise, I'm pretty busy. 165 00:06:17,899 --> 00:06:19,204 Peace. 166 00:06:19,248 --> 00:06:21,381 Administrative business. What's going on? 167 00:06:21,424 --> 00:06:22,860 Ashley's gotta go. Who? 168 00:06:22,904 --> 00:06:25,036 My new aide. I want her gone. 169 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,516 Oh, what exactly is the problem? 170 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:27,691 She's giving me agita. 171 00:06:27,735 --> 00:06:29,127 We can't fire people for that. 172 00:06:29,171 --> 00:06:30,694 I tried to get Jacob fired his first year 173 00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:33,044 for buying me a reusable water bottle for Christmas. 174 00:06:33,088 --> 00:06:34,481 I found it passive aggressive. 175 00:06:36,178 --> 00:06:37,527 And yet he's still here. 176 00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:39,224 You gotta have a paper trail of bad behavior. 177 00:06:39,268 --> 00:06:40,487 This is a bureaucracy. 178 00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:42,053 Yeah, but she's a huge pain in my ass. 179 00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:44,055 I'm actually getting less work done with her here. 180 00:06:44,099 --> 00:06:45,535 Okay, damn. I'll come to your class 181 00:06:45,579 --> 00:06:47,102 and monitor her myself. 182 00:06:47,145 --> 00:06:48,886 -You will? -Yes! 183 00:06:48,930 --> 00:06:50,714 Why does everybody get so surprised when I say I'll help? 184 00:06:50,758 --> 00:06:52,063 I'm a professional. 185 00:06:52,107 --> 00:06:53,717 No, that's-- that's great. 186 00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:55,937 Thank you. 187 00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:59,331 Now, what does one wear to monitor? 188 00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:01,333 Three-ninths is complicated. 189 00:07:01,377 --> 00:07:02,726 A little full of itself. 190 00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:04,467 It's not my favorite, but some people-- 191 00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:07,252 Oh. Kalan, Armonni, welcome back. 192 00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:09,646 You took so long I thought you fell in the toilet, 193 00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:11,082 but now it's time to fall 194 00:07:11,126 --> 00:07:12,649 into the wonderful world of fractions. 195 00:07:12,693 --> 00:07:15,435 I have to go to the bathroom, too, Miss Teagues. 196 00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:19,743 Okay, um, who else needs to go to the bathroom? 197 00:07:19,787 --> 00:07:22,267 Well, looks like I need to go, too, 198 00:07:22,311 --> 00:07:24,922 so I guess it's time to take a little field trip. 199 00:07:27,142 --> 00:07:29,274 Dang, this line is longer than Saweetie's nails. 200 00:07:29,318 --> 00:07:30,754 Is there some kind of free-before-ten special 201 00:07:30,798 --> 00:07:32,103 going on that I don't know about? 202 00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:33,365 We've been in line for 15 minutes. 203 00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:35,019 It's been like this all day. 204 00:07:35,063 --> 00:07:36,673 Has it? That's wild. 205 00:07:36,717 --> 00:07:38,283 'Cause I've been so busy working, you know, 206 00:07:38,327 --> 00:07:39,589 I didn't notice. 207 00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:42,026 Whoa, I thought it was just my class. 208 00:07:42,070 --> 00:07:43,201 What is going on? 209 00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:44,594 It's this new juice. 210 00:07:44,638 --> 00:07:46,030 It's busting their bladders. 211 00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:47,510 Oh, but that can't be it. 212 00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:49,120 I mean, it's only two more ounces. 213 00:07:49,164 --> 00:07:51,471 Well, I guess two more ounces adds up to 200 more trips 214 00:07:51,514 --> 00:07:54,299 to the bathroom. 215 00:07:54,343 --> 00:07:55,866 Well, this is a good thing 216 00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:57,999 because more trips to the bathroom 217 00:07:58,042 --> 00:08:00,828 means more liquid flushing through their tiny bodies 218 00:08:00,871 --> 00:08:03,352 and cleansing their tiny little cells. 219 00:08:03,395 --> 00:08:04,614 Hydration. 220 00:08:04,658 --> 00:08:07,051 This is good. Mm. 221 00:08:07,095 --> 00:08:10,185 [ Thud, toilet flushing ] 222 00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:13,188 Uh-oh. I think the bathroom broke. 223 00:08:16,844 --> 00:08:18,193 [ Sighs heavily ] 224 00:08:18,236 --> 00:08:20,151 All the first floor bathrooms are broken. 225 00:08:20,195 --> 00:08:21,544 Until reinforcements arrive, 226 00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:23,894 everyone has to use the upstairs bathroom. 227 00:08:23,938 --> 00:08:26,331 And I pray to the Mario Brothers they hold. 228 00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:29,552 If I didn't have so much class, I'd say "I told you so." 229 00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:33,034 Ugh! You did not tell me that changing juices 230 00:08:33,077 --> 00:08:34,557 would make the kids drink so much 231 00:08:34,601 --> 00:08:35,863 that they peed the bathrooms out of commission. 232 00:08:35,906 --> 00:08:37,517 I told you that there was no need 233 00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:39,519 to fix something that wasn't broken. 234 00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:42,391 But no, that wasn't enough for Janine. 235 00:08:42,434 --> 00:08:44,175 You should have just listened to me. 236 00:08:44,219 --> 00:08:45,916 How are we even supposed to teach? 237 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,005 My first graders have never even been to the second floor before. 238 00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:49,529 And it takes me 45 seconds 239 00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:51,008 at a brisk pace to get all the way up there. 240 00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:53,010 It will take the kids forever. 241 00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:55,056 You time yourself going to the second floor? 242 00:08:55,099 --> 00:08:56,753 -You don't? -Uh, while I admit 243 00:08:56,797 --> 00:08:58,712 this is an unfortunate circumstance, 244 00:08:58,755 --> 00:09:01,018 it will be nice to have some extra pairs of feet 245 00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:03,020 up in the penthouses. 246 00:09:03,064 --> 00:09:05,196 That's what we non-ground floor teachers call it. 247 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:06,676 Wait, Barbara, is your kindergarten bathroom 248 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,853 still working? 249 00:09:09,897 --> 00:09:12,943 Yes, my private facilities are intact, 250 00:09:12,987 --> 00:09:16,686 due to my responsible juice decision. 251 00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:18,470 Can our kids use it, Barbara? 252 00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:20,211 Please? It's a close call getting them 253 00:09:20,255 --> 00:09:21,778 to the first floor bathroom as it is. 254 00:09:21,822 --> 00:09:23,606 And first graders have 255 00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,913 the second most combustible -bladders. -Okay, fine. 256 00:09:25,956 --> 00:09:28,611 The kindergarten bathroom may be used in emergencies. 257 00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:30,439 Oh, thank goodness. 258 00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:31,701 I meant the kids. 259 00:09:31,745 --> 00:09:32,876 I'm a kid at heart. 260 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,312 You-- 261 00:09:34,356 --> 00:09:36,271 Thank you. Thank you. 262 00:09:36,314 --> 00:09:38,490 -Your lipstick... pretty. -Those pants are creased real well. 263 00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:42,407 Okay, kids. How many yards are in one Manute Bol? 264 00:09:42,451 --> 00:09:44,409 Jessica. 265 00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:45,628 Three? 266 00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:47,412 Not quite. Anybody else? 267 00:09:47,456 --> 00:09:51,503 I'm Meg Thee Skeleton and it's time to learn about our bones. 268 00:09:51,547 --> 00:09:54,332 Eh! [ Children laughing ] 269 00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:56,465 Good news is, now that I have Ashley helping out in my class, 270 00:09:56,508 --> 00:09:58,075 I can teach two lessons at once. 271 00:09:58,119 --> 00:10:01,644 Bad news is, I now have Ashley in my class. 272 00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:03,603 [ Children laughing ] 273 00:10:03,646 --> 00:10:05,343 How y'all doing? Don't worry about me. 274 00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:07,128 I'm not even here. 275 00:10:07,171 --> 00:10:09,478 Alright. So, um--I'm here to teach you about the human... 276 00:10:09,521 --> 00:10:12,133 ♪ Body-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody 277 00:10:12,176 --> 00:10:15,092 ♪ Bones, blood, meat, you! Okay. 278 00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:16,920 Hey. Hi, my class.[ Children laugh ] 279 00:10:16,964 --> 00:10:19,140 You guys would know this if you did your homework. 280 00:10:19,183 --> 00:10:21,621 Hello. Right up here, guys. Right up here. 281 00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:24,536 -Girl, is that my shirt? -Oh, this? 282 00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:26,538 I got it off a popular Depop page. 283 00:10:26,582 --> 00:10:28,932 @AvaFlaaaaaaaaaav with 10 A's? 284 00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:30,934 Oh, my God. That's you? 285 00:10:30,978 --> 00:10:32,283 I love your clothes. 286 00:10:32,327 --> 00:10:34,677 Thank you. 287 00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:36,157 I closed that account down for tax reasons, 288 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,115 but I do live auctions now. 289 00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:40,465 Here, scan this QR code and hit follow, 290 00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:41,771 and make sure you turn on the notifications 291 00:10:41,815 --> 00:10:42,772 so you don't miss anything. 292 00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:43,947 The good stuff goes fast. 293 00:10:43,991 --> 00:10:45,645 Oh, my gosh. That's so smart. 294 00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:48,125 You know, way better than some piece of paper I'd lose. 295 00:10:48,169 --> 00:10:49,387 Business cards are for gum, girl. 296 00:10:49,431 --> 00:10:50,998 This is the future. Yes. 297 00:10:51,041 --> 00:10:54,654 Okay, how many feet are in a yard? 298 00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:56,699 Melissa, do you mind? 299 00:10:56,743 --> 00:10:58,962 We talking business back here. 300 00:10:59,006 --> 00:11:00,703 Okay, here's another one. 301 00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:03,488 If I were to break this yard stick in half 302 00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:06,317 out of anger, how long would each piece be? 303 00:11:06,361 --> 00:11:09,843 The human... ♪ Body-ody-ody-ody-ody 304 00:11:09,886 --> 00:11:11,018 [ Class singing along ] 305 00:11:11,061 --> 00:11:14,151 ♪ Bones, blood, meat, you 306 00:11:14,195 --> 00:11:15,675 [ Laughter ] 307 00:11:15,718 --> 00:11:19,026 What clothes do we wear in the winter time? 308 00:11:19,069 --> 00:11:20,331 [ Class shouting "Me" ] 309 00:11:20,375 --> 00:11:21,550 - Coat! - Mittens! - Pajamas! 310 00:11:21,593 --> 00:11:22,812 Very good. 311 00:11:22,856 --> 00:11:23,987 [ Class shouting indistinctly ] 312 00:11:24,031 --> 00:11:26,990 Hi, Keta. Hi, Hayley. Hi, Fred. 313 00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:28,731 I'm sorry, Mrs. Howard. We'll be quick. 314 00:11:28,775 --> 00:11:31,255 Come on. 315 00:11:31,299 --> 00:11:32,692 All right, now. 316 00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:35,607 And in what seasons do we wear-- 317 00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:39,524 Sorry, Mrs. Howard. 318 00:11:39,568 --> 00:11:43,093 In what seasons do we wear pajamas? 319 00:11:43,137 --> 00:11:45,705 My pajamas have racecars on them! 320 00:11:45,748 --> 00:11:46,923 Yes. 321 00:11:46,967 --> 00:11:48,185 Bathroom's over there. 322 00:11:48,229 --> 00:11:49,534 Oh, thanks, girl. 323 00:11:51,232 --> 00:11:52,407 Buddy system. 324 00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:58,630 Pajamas are actually year-round attire. 325 00:11:58,674 --> 00:12:00,763 Mrs. Howard, I have to go potty. 326 00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:01,938 All right. Get in line. 327 00:12:01,982 --> 00:12:04,462 But it's a memergency. 328 00:12:04,506 --> 00:12:06,247 Well, come on. Come on. 329 00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:08,379 Let's go. 330 00:12:08,423 --> 00:12:10,251 Hey! No cutting! 331 00:12:10,294 --> 00:12:13,036 Excuse me. My children are kindergartners 332 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,299 and they need the bathroom more than anyone. 333 00:12:15,343 --> 00:12:17,780 Not more than me. I had 10 juices. 334 00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:19,216 You know what? 335 00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:20,870 From now on, you all need to use the bathroom 336 00:12:20,914 --> 00:12:22,785 on the second floor. 337 00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:24,091 But, Mrs. Howard, that's not fair. 338 00:12:24,134 --> 00:12:25,570 You know what's not fair? 339 00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:29,400 My children having to pay for your juice mistakes. 340 00:12:29,444 --> 00:12:32,490 Now, please get out. 341 00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:34,057 -That way! -Okay. 342 00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:35,624 C-Come on. Sorry. 343 00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:37,757 You trippin'. Ashley is a star. 344 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,149 I'm trying to run a classroom, 345 00:12:39,193 --> 00:12:41,412 and she's actively working against that. 346 00:12:41,456 --> 00:12:42,979 I can't even hear myself think over the kids 347 00:12:43,023 --> 00:12:45,329 singing body-wody-whatever. 348 00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:47,288 See, that's not even how the song goes. 349 00:12:47,331 --> 00:12:48,898 I thought you was one of them spicy Whites. 350 00:12:48,942 --> 00:12:49,986 I hate being wrong. 351 00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:51,901 Ava, she is a menace. 352 00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:55,252 She painted eyeballs on her lids so she could nap during class. 353 00:12:55,296 --> 00:12:57,254 [ Laughs ] Ava! 354 00:12:57,298 --> 00:12:59,300 She's supposed to be prepping right now during lunch. 355 00:12:59,343 --> 00:13:00,649 I don't even know where she is. 356 00:13:00,692 --> 00:13:02,912 No. She's perfect. Like a little mini-me. 357 00:13:02,956 --> 00:13:04,914 Hold on. 358 00:13:04,958 --> 00:13:08,091 Ashley, make a note in my Halloween costumes ideas folder 359 00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:10,920 for a Mini-Me and a sexy Dr. Evil. 360 00:13:10,964 --> 00:13:13,140 -Ashley: Copy. -Ashley. 361 00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:14,794 Where are you? 362 00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:17,144 Getting water for Ava's clothes steamer. 363 00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:18,798 She wanted to steam them. 364 00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:21,452 Can you go back to prepping in my classroom, please? 365 00:13:21,496 --> 00:13:23,454 Okay, you're kinda throwing a lot at me here. 366 00:13:23,498 --> 00:13:26,806 Ashley, go back to my classroom. 367 00:13:26,849 --> 00:13:29,809 What? I already did my prep. 368 00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:31,288 I do it while I'm teaching. 369 00:13:31,332 --> 00:13:33,813 I call it preaching. 370 00:13:33,856 --> 00:13:35,945 -Single file. -Just line up right here. 371 00:13:35,989 --> 00:13:37,512 All right? Bathroom? 372 00:13:37,555 --> 00:13:39,383 Yeah. This is so inconvenient, 373 00:13:39,427 --> 00:13:41,124 I can barely find a silver lining. 374 00:13:41,168 --> 00:13:42,212 You found one? 375 00:13:42,256 --> 00:13:43,605 We're getting good exercise. 376 00:13:43,648 --> 00:13:45,650 It don't count if I don't got my FitBit on. 377 00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:48,523 We cannot be expected to keep hauling our entire classes 378 00:13:48,566 --> 00:13:51,308 up the stairs every five seconds. 379 00:13:51,352 --> 00:13:52,570 We would help Barbara if she needed it, right? 380 00:13:52,614 --> 00:13:54,834 Yeah. Absolutely. 381 00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:57,140 Because it is her free period right now. 382 00:13:57,184 --> 00:14:00,927 [ Indistinct conversations ] 383 00:14:02,058 --> 00:14:04,321 And it's not like we'd be disrupting her class. 384 00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:05,975 Right? And I bet if I asked her, 385 00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:08,064 she'd want us to use her bathroom. 386 00:14:09,718 --> 00:14:10,850 Come on kids. Yeah, right. 387 00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,199 -Let's be quiet. -Everyone, shhh. 388 00:14:12,242 --> 00:14:14,331 Get low. Well, really, just Mr. Eddie get low. 389 00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:16,768 [ Whispering ] Get low. Get low. Okay, come on. 390 00:14:17,726 --> 00:14:19,380 Gregory: What's taking that kid so long? 391 00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:20,990 Who's even in there? 392 00:14:21,034 --> 00:14:24,559 Um, everything okay? 393 00:14:24,602 --> 00:14:25,865 You know, Gregory, you try it. 394 00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:27,692 I've been told I knock like a ghost. 395 00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:29,346 Could y-- I know. Just-- 396 00:14:33,046 --> 00:14:34,874 Girl: Hi, Mrs. Howard. 397 00:14:37,224 --> 00:14:39,226 I distinctly remember telling both of you 398 00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:41,706 that my bathroom was off limits. 399 00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,360 Yes. Yes. But then I remembered 400 00:14:43,404 --> 00:14:45,275 how if you needed help, I would give it to you. 401 00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:47,625 And that's lovely, but I said no. 402 00:14:47,669 --> 00:14:48,931 Barbara, look, it's your free period. 403 00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:50,193 Your kids are at the gym. 404 00:14:50,237 --> 00:14:52,456 I don't care what period it is. 405 00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:56,634 I said no, and I do not need to explain my reasoning to you. 406 00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:59,550 When I say something, that is the end of the discussion. 407 00:14:59,594 --> 00:15:05,034 There is a period at the end of each of my sentences. 408 00:15:05,078 --> 00:15:07,036 That felt like an exclamation point. Mnh-mnh. 409 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:08,603 I'm sorry. 410 00:15:08,646 --> 00:15:10,779 Barbara, we are sorry, but we will be done in a minute. 411 00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:12,389 The kids will be out, and it will be like 412 00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:13,651 we were ever here. 413 00:15:13,695 --> 00:15:17,394 [ Pipes groan, water bubbling ] 414 00:15:17,438 --> 00:15:19,396 I think it's broken. 415 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,224 [ Pipes groan ] 416 00:15:25,272 --> 00:15:26,664 Man, this is messier than Temple Homecoming '74. 417 00:15:26,708 --> 00:15:27,927 The kindergarten toilet somehow took out 418 00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:29,319 all the second floor toilets with it. 419 00:15:29,363 --> 00:15:31,278 Third floor bathroom is all we got now. 420 00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:32,932 And I just got off the phone with the city. 421 00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:35,978 They said they can't do anything until next week. 422 00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:37,762 Thank you, Janine. 423 00:15:37,806 --> 00:15:41,244 I was hoping I could take my entire class 424 00:15:41,288 --> 00:15:44,073 up and down the stairs all day long. 425 00:15:44,117 --> 00:15:47,511 And since one of my students can't use the stairs, 426 00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:50,950 I'll have to drop Johnny off with another teacher. 427 00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:52,342 Thank you. 428 00:15:53,822 --> 00:15:55,955 [ Thumping rhythmically ] Ah! Yeah. 429 00:15:55,998 --> 00:15:58,174 You know, when you think about it, "Grindin'" by Clipse 430 00:15:58,218 --> 00:16:00,002 was kind of the original Cup Song. 431 00:16:00,046 --> 00:16:01,264 Mm. Oh, my God. 432 00:16:01,308 --> 00:16:03,179 I never thought about it like that. 433 00:16:03,223 --> 00:16:05,529 Anna Kendrick is such a fraud! 434 00:16:07,488 --> 00:16:09,011 Oh, hi, Ashley. 435 00:16:09,055 --> 00:16:11,318 Glad to see you hard at not-work. 436 00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:13,842 I'm sure you finished that to-do list I gave you? 437 00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:15,626 Nar. 438 00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:18,499 But I did write it all down in my Notes app this time. 439 00:16:18,542 --> 00:16:19,848 I'll get right on it. 440 00:16:19,891 --> 00:16:23,286 Jacob, more on Anna Kendrick later. 441 00:16:24,331 --> 00:16:26,202 Ava, status update. 442 00:16:26,246 --> 00:16:28,204 All orders have been packaged for shipping. 443 00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:30,163 Oh, never thought the district would send someone 444 00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:31,816 so enterprising. 445 00:16:31,860 --> 00:16:32,992 Thank you. 446 00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:39,389 I haven't seen you this mad since the bartender cut you off 447 00:16:39,433 --> 00:16:41,826 at the batting cages. 448 00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:44,046 I can't get this girl to put caps back on markers, 449 00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:48,050 and here she is helping Ava run an entire pyramid scheme. 450 00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:51,314 Just tossing it out there, feel free to toss it right back, 451 00:16:51,358 --> 00:16:56,058 but maybe it's because Ava actually engages with her. 452 00:16:56,102 --> 00:16:58,495 This is a job. It's not a meet and greet. 453 00:16:58,539 --> 00:17:02,064 I'm just saying, it might help if you got to know her. 454 00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:03,544 Or-- Or, you know, carry on as is. 455 00:17:03,587 --> 00:17:05,154 Whatever you-- whatever you like. 456 00:17:05,198 --> 00:17:07,200 Barbara: Let's get in line. Thank you. 457 00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:10,725 [ Breathing heavily ] 458 00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:12,683 [ Sighs ] 459 00:17:12,727 --> 00:17:14,294 Air is thin up here on the third floor. 460 00:17:14,337 --> 00:17:16,557 Mm-hmm. 461 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:17,862 Barbara, I owe you an apology 462 00:17:17,906 --> 00:17:19,168 just as s-soon as I catch my breath. 463 00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:20,256 Mm-hmm. 464 00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:21,823 [ Sighs ] Thank you. 465 00:17:21,866 --> 00:17:24,086 I know you didn't mean to ruin my day, Janine. 466 00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:25,522 But I did. 467 00:17:25,566 --> 00:17:27,089 You did. 468 00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:30,701 I tried to tell you no, but you wouldn't listen. 469 00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:35,967 All day long I have 5-year-olds asking me why this, why that. 470 00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:39,710 I do not have the time for a bunch of 20-somethings 471 00:17:39,754 --> 00:17:40,885 doing the same thing. 472 00:17:40,929 --> 00:17:43,366 I hear you. I do. 473 00:17:43,410 --> 00:17:45,629 But, Barbara, we need to know the why. 474 00:17:45,673 --> 00:17:46,978 If you just tell us the answer, 475 00:17:47,022 --> 00:17:50,069 we'll never learn how to solve the problems. 476 00:17:50,112 --> 00:17:51,983 We need you to show your work, too. 477 00:17:52,027 --> 00:17:53,463 Look, when you were first starting out, 478 00:17:53,507 --> 00:17:54,856 didn't you have someone who, like, 479 00:17:54,899 --> 00:17:56,118 walked you through everything 480 00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:57,728 and showed you the tricks of the trade? 481 00:17:57,772 --> 00:18:00,253 I did not. 482 00:18:00,296 --> 00:18:04,387 Oh. Okay. 483 00:18:04,431 --> 00:18:06,781 I can't believe that they won't come out for a week 484 00:18:06,824 --> 00:18:09,610 just because we have one working bathroom left. 485 00:18:09,653 --> 00:18:11,742 Phew. 486 00:18:11,786 --> 00:18:16,007 Janine, now is when you fix something. 487 00:18:16,051 --> 00:18:17,966 When it's broken. 488 00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:19,576 You see how that works? 489 00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:22,231 I mean [chuckles] yeah, unless you're the city. 490 00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:25,930 I will be right back. Watch my class. Thank you. 491 00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:27,149 Excuse me. 492 00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:30,587 [ Thumping rhythmically ] 493 00:18:30,631 --> 00:18:33,329 So, uh, what's this little number called? 494 00:18:33,373 --> 00:18:35,636 Oh, the "Grindin'" beat. My older sister taught it to me. 495 00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:38,117 Kids love it. 496 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:39,944 It's kinda like the Cup Song. 497 00:18:39,988 --> 00:18:42,425 Oh, we have so much to discuss. 498 00:18:44,471 --> 00:18:46,168 ♪ Signing 499 00:18:48,649 --> 00:18:49,911 Wanna try? 500 00:18:49,954 --> 00:18:51,347 Yeah, you know what, I'm good for now. 501 00:18:51,391 --> 00:18:52,870 But how about this? How about we make time 502 00:18:52,914 --> 00:18:54,481 for you to teach something cool like this 503 00:18:54,524 --> 00:18:55,786 to the kids every week? 'Cause they're loving it. 504 00:18:55,830 --> 00:18:57,310 Really? Absolutely. 505 00:18:57,353 --> 00:18:58,833 And for now, why don't you start grindin' away 506 00:18:58,876 --> 00:19:00,139 on that math test? 507 00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:02,184 Can do, boss. All right. 508 00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:04,795 Melissa, I need your baseball bat. 509 00:19:04,839 --> 00:19:06,362 -Taped under my desk. -Mm-hmm. 510 00:19:06,406 --> 00:19:08,364 Oh, wipe it down -when you're done. -Got it. 511 00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:10,801 Wait, can I get a baseball bat? 512 00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:12,368 When you're older. 513 00:19:14,022 --> 00:19:15,980 Come on, guys. Good job washing your hands. 514 00:19:16,024 --> 00:19:17,286 Go sit down on the stairs. 515 00:19:17,330 --> 00:19:18,983 Janine: Who else has to go? Come on up-- 516 00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:20,333 Whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa! 517 00:19:20,376 --> 00:19:21,812 -We're sorry. We're sorry. -Barbara, what?! 518 00:19:21,856 --> 00:19:23,988 Did everyone get a chance to use the bathroom? 519 00:19:24,032 --> 00:19:25,164 I pooped. 520 00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:26,643 That's great, sweetheart. 521 00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:29,994 Um, okay... Come on, y'all. Let's take a step back. 522 00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:32,693 Everybody step behind me. Just stand behind me. 523 00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:34,303 -Just... behind us. -Come on. 524 00:19:34,347 --> 00:19:36,523 [ Clang, rattling, water rushing ] 525 00:19:36,566 --> 00:19:38,916 Oh, my God. 526 00:19:42,877 --> 00:19:45,009 Whew. 527 00:19:45,053 --> 00:19:49,840 [ Panting ] Well, this bathroom is out of commission. 528 00:19:49,884 --> 00:19:52,843 We will have to inform the district that our situation 529 00:19:52,887 --> 00:19:57,370 is now officially an emergency. 530 00:19:57,413 --> 00:20:00,024 Barbara! This is why I always want to meet up 531 00:20:00,068 --> 00:20:01,461 with you and talk things out, 532 00:20:01,504 --> 00:20:03,680 because you know how to handle every situation. 533 00:20:03,724 --> 00:20:06,335 And clearly, I do not. 534 00:20:06,379 --> 00:20:09,251 Well, I didn't have anybody to show me the ropes. 535 00:20:09,295 --> 00:20:12,254 You were right. It would have been a big help. 536 00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:14,213 Why don't I set aside some time 537 00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:18,260 so anyone wanting to know how I handled a situation 538 00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:21,437 and why can come--Build community. 539 00:20:21,481 --> 00:20:23,091 Talk to me. 540 00:20:23,134 --> 00:20:24,919 -Like office hours. -Office hour. 541 00:20:24,962 --> 00:20:28,879 -Got it. Once a week. -Once a month. 542 00:20:28,923 --> 00:20:32,709 Deal. 543 00:20:32,753 --> 00:20:34,885 I have one thing to ask in return. 544 00:20:34,929 --> 00:20:35,886 Yeah? 545 00:20:35,930 --> 00:20:37,279 Get rid of this for me. 546 00:20:37,323 --> 00:20:38,628 Oh, um... Thank you. 547 00:20:38,672 --> 00:20:40,543 I don't wanna... Come on. 548 00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:41,936 -...be a part of... this. -Come on. Let's go, class. 549 00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:47,071 I had to go over to the corner store 550 00:20:47,115 --> 00:20:48,769 and they wouldn't give me the bathroom code 551 00:20:48,812 --> 00:20:51,293 without a purchase, so I panic-bought some scratchers. 552 00:20:52,599 --> 00:20:54,557 Come on, early retirement. 553 00:20:54,601 --> 00:20:57,256 Yeah, same. So terrible. 554 00:20:57,299 --> 00:20:59,562 Couldn't pee anywhere all day. 555 00:20:59,606 --> 00:21:01,303 It was bananas. 556 00:21:09,006 --> 00:21:10,269 [ Keypad beeps ] 557 00:21:10,312 --> 00:21:11,400 I know y'all didn't think I was using them 558 00:21:11,444 --> 00:21:13,141 little kiddie toilets up there. 559 00:21:13,184 --> 00:21:17,014 [ Soothing music plays ] 560 00:21:18,015 --> 00:21:19,756 Unh-unh. No cameras in the bathroom. 561 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,280 But if you're wondering if I have a bidet, 562 00:21:21,323 --> 00:21:22,672 you bet I bi-do. 563 00:21:22,716 --> 00:21:23,891 ♪