1 00:00:01,784 --> 00:00:04,526 Ava, have you seen a-- 2 00:00:04,569 --> 00:00:05,962 Is this you? 3 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,572 Ava: Oh. That must have fell in there by mistake. 4 00:00:07,616 --> 00:00:08,834 Mind your business. 5 00:00:08,878 --> 00:00:10,053 What you looking for? 6 00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:11,315 Uh, I lost something. 7 00:00:11,359 --> 00:00:13,665 What? Your sense of style? Ha ha! Up top! 8 00:00:13,709 --> 00:00:14,840 No. 9 00:00:14,884 --> 00:00:16,146 You a hater. 10 00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:17,495 What'd you lose? 11 00:00:17,539 --> 00:00:19,497 Uh, it was a shawl that was in my classroom. 12 00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:21,847 It was my warmest one. I am so cold. [ Chuckles ] 13 00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:24,546 -You think someone took it? -Who would just take a shawl? 14 00:00:26,722 --> 00:00:30,204 Why would I, Ava Coleman, take something from Janine? 15 00:00:31,118 --> 00:00:32,858 Look, I am not accusing anyone, but-- 16 00:00:32,902 --> 00:00:34,512 Mr. Johnson took my shawl! 17 00:00:34,556 --> 00:00:36,558 Why does the lost and found have a five-day waiting period 18 00:00:36,601 --> 00:00:38,734 if we're not gonna enforce it? 19 00:00:39,735 --> 00:00:40,910 Aah! 20 00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:43,347 It's called functional fashion. 21 00:00:43,391 --> 00:00:46,133 Yeah! That shawl chose him. 22 00:00:47,569 --> 00:00:49,701 [ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ] 23 00:00:49,745 --> 00:00:57,796 ♪ 24 00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:03,063 [ Sighs ] I hope all the kids aren't here today. 25 00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:04,803 Yesterday, everybody was in attendance, 26 00:01:04,847 --> 00:01:06,066 and it almost broke me. 27 00:01:06,109 --> 00:01:07,241 That's what happens when you enforce 28 00:01:07,284 --> 00:01:08,894 a "no nose picking" policy. 29 00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:10,244 I'm behind on lesson plans, 30 00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:11,723 but it's too early in the year to show movies. 31 00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:14,378 I'm doing LEGO day to catch up. The kids love it. 32 00:01:14,422 --> 00:01:16,206 I always end up with LEGO toe. 33 00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:18,121 Exactly. I've bought so many packs, 34 00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:19,731 LEGO owes me a sponsorship already. 35 00:01:19,775 --> 00:01:22,125 [ Chuckles ] Man, this double class is kicking my ass. 36 00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:23,561 I need my extra-large coffee mug. 37 00:01:23,605 --> 00:01:25,259 Jacob: Did you read that article the other day 38 00:01:25,302 --> 00:01:26,912 about how matcha-- actually more efficient 39 00:01:26,956 --> 00:01:28,740 at awakening the nervous system than coffee? 40 00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:31,395 Oh, yeah? Was that in Who Gives A Crap Weekly? 41 00:01:31,439 --> 00:01:33,223 It was in The New Yorker. 42 00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:35,269 Oh, so Who Gives A Crap Biweekly. 43 00:01:36,792 --> 00:01:38,098 [ Door opens ] 44 00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:41,927 Damn. It's more intense in here than my at-home float tank. 45 00:01:41,971 --> 00:01:43,451 What y'all doing? Prepping. 46 00:01:43,494 --> 00:01:45,801 Mm. Working before work? Couldn't be me. 47 00:01:45,844 --> 00:01:47,759 Anyway, here's a reminder that some goofy group 48 00:01:47,803 --> 00:01:49,761 is coming through to do camp songs or something, 49 00:01:49,805 --> 00:01:52,242 so check the schedule to see when your class is up. 50 00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:54,679 Holy Shakespeare! [ Gasps ] 51 00:01:54,723 --> 00:01:56,594 [ Imitating sword slicing ] 52 00:01:56,638 --> 00:01:58,248 Jacob, we can't afford for you to have a seizure 53 00:01:58,292 --> 00:01:59,641 during school hours. [ Laughs ][ Chuckles ] 54 00:01:59,684 --> 00:02:03,253 Guys! These are the Story Samurai, okay? 55 00:02:03,297 --> 00:02:04,994 They're a storytelling group that goes all up and down 56 00:02:05,037 --> 00:02:08,302 the East Coast improvising plays based on the kids' ideas. 57 00:02:08,345 --> 00:02:10,434 [ Chuckles ] I used to be in it. 58 00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:13,002 Of course you were, sweetheart. 59 00:02:13,045 --> 00:02:17,180 The Story Samurai are like a book come to life, okay? 60 00:02:17,224 --> 00:02:19,182 But the pages are the performance 61 00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:22,446 and the illustrations are, like, the lyrics. 62 00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:26,711 We help the kids see that everyone is a story, okay? 63 00:02:26,755 --> 00:02:30,019 Look, I don't condone violence, but it slaps. 64 00:02:30,062 --> 00:02:31,281 I think it sounds amazing, Jacob. 65 00:02:31,325 --> 00:02:32,978 I love it when they come. 66 00:02:33,022 --> 00:02:34,806 You get to drop your kids off at the auditorium for an hour 67 00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:37,461 -and just catch up on work. -That part. 68 00:02:37,505 --> 00:02:39,463 Oh, well, then I may be a really big fan 69 00:02:39,507 --> 00:02:40,638 of these Samurai-sitters. 70 00:02:40,682 --> 00:02:42,162 You're gonna want to see this. 71 00:02:42,205 --> 00:02:44,294 It's-- It's not like some wack puppet show. 72 00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:46,470 Plus, this is like a whole new tour. 73 00:02:46,514 --> 00:02:48,646 It's gonna be brand-new material. 74 00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:50,518 It's very subversive, you know? 75 00:02:50,561 --> 00:02:52,781 And really cool. Like me. 76 00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:57,089 Janine, Gregory, y'all pulling up? 77 00:02:57,133 --> 00:03:00,180 Yeah. I'll walk over. 78 00:03:00,223 --> 00:03:01,703 Yeah. 79 00:03:01,746 --> 00:03:03,531 Alex and Jordan. 80 00:03:03,574 --> 00:03:05,533 Oh, Natalie. I'm sorry, honey. 81 00:03:05,576 --> 00:03:07,491 You are in my third grade now. 82 00:03:07,535 --> 00:03:09,493 You were in my second grade last year, 83 00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:12,322 and now you're in third grade, which I also teach. Okay. 84 00:03:12,366 --> 00:03:14,324 I told you, we got an aide if you need it. 85 00:03:14,368 --> 00:03:16,674 She's got this. She's a veteran. 86 00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:18,850 Veterans don't need that help. Exactly. 87 00:03:18,894 --> 00:03:20,939 You save those aides for the young'ns. 88 00:03:20,983 --> 00:03:22,854 Alright, well, don't say I didn't try to help. 89 00:03:22,898 --> 00:03:24,682 Everybody say young Ava is unreliable, 90 00:03:24,726 --> 00:03:26,510 but even a broken clock is right once a day. 91 00:03:26,554 --> 00:03:29,383 -Twice a day. -Whatever! 92 00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:30,862 Melissa: Um, you know, it's a little tough. 93 00:03:30,906 --> 00:03:33,213 But you know what? Barbara's right. I'm tougher. 94 00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:36,041 I'm so tough, brass knuckles wear me to a fight. 95 00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:38,261 -Students: Ooh! -Oh. Excuse me. 96 00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:39,871 What? What?! 97 00:03:39,915 --> 00:03:43,223 Keyon! Quit huffing the Wite-Out, dude! 98 00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:45,703 Samurai. Ha! 99 00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:49,229 May we have a suggestion for a character? 100 00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:50,360 Meek Mill! 101 00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:51,883 Ah. Nice one, Clarence. 102 00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:55,931 What if Meek Mill... was a meerkat? 103 00:03:55,974 --> 00:03:57,541 Why? 104 00:03:57,585 --> 00:04:00,065 I'm just a meerkat, strolling through Western Philly. 105 00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:01,241 [ Chuckles ] But it's not a story 106 00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:02,372 unless there's some... 107 00:04:02,416 --> 00:04:03,939 All: Conflict! 108 00:04:03,982 --> 00:04:06,985 What's Meerkat Meek Mills' conflict? 109 00:04:07,029 --> 00:04:10,293 His ATV broke down in the wrong hood![ Laughter ] 110 00:04:10,337 --> 00:04:13,078 All: Wrong hood, Meerkat! Wrong hood! 111 00:04:13,122 --> 00:04:15,255 This is too corny, even for me. 112 00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:16,908 But Jacob loves it, so thank goodness 113 00:04:16,952 --> 00:04:19,084 it's in his past and he isn't up there. 114 00:04:19,128 --> 00:04:20,564 [ Chuckles ] I get it, though. 115 00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:22,087 If my "Degrassi" reenactment group 116 00:04:22,131 --> 00:04:24,916 showed up and performed here, I'd be excited, too. 117 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,397 Shout-out to the guy who played the original Jimmy. 118 00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:30,748 Wonder what he's up to. Heh. He is-- He's Drake. 119 00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:32,402 I'm aware that he is Drake. Yeah. 120 00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:34,665 I expected it to be corny, but that was beyond anything 121 00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:36,101 I thought was theoretically possible. 122 00:04:36,145 --> 00:04:38,843 [ Chuckles ] I know. It was peak Jacob. 123 00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:41,324 Oh, Melissa, I bet that you would love the Story Samurai. 124 00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:42,760 Oh, yeah, I just dropped my kids, 125 00:04:42,804 --> 00:04:44,327 and I got, like, two lesson plans to do. 126 00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,764 [ Beeping ] And that beep means I got an hour left 127 00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:48,810 and I still didn't go to the bathroom! Okay. 128 00:04:48,853 --> 00:04:50,812 My class in here, please. Thank you. 129 00:04:50,855 --> 00:04:52,422 Y'all see that corny show? [ Laughs ] 130 00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:54,294 I was in the back crying while bootlegging it 131 00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:55,425 for barbershop distribution. 132 00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:57,035 Guys, it wasn't that bad. 133 00:04:57,079 --> 00:04:59,777 I can't wait until it's my class's turn. 134 00:04:59,821 --> 00:05:01,605 Mr. Johnson just told me that they've got 135 00:05:01,649 --> 00:05:04,347 some white boy doing the Malcolm X Games. 136 00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:05,957 -Janine: Oh, my God. -He did an ollie and said, 137 00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:08,308 "Plymouth Rock didn't land on me, dude." 138 00:05:08,351 --> 00:05:10,353 [ Laughter ] Guys, just-- Guys. 139 00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:13,791 Tschoo! Story Samurais, we slice down barriers. 140 00:05:13,835 --> 00:05:16,794 If you need a story, we're in your area-er. 141 00:05:16,838 --> 00:05:17,839 Hey. Huh? 142 00:05:17,882 --> 00:05:19,319 What did everyone think? 143 00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:20,885 Did you see how excited the kids were?! 144 00:05:20,929 --> 00:05:22,844 -It was great. -It was incredible. 145 00:05:22,887 --> 00:05:25,629 I honestly cannot wait to see it. 146 00:05:25,673 --> 00:05:26,978 I told you it was gonna be bomb! 147 00:05:27,022 --> 00:05:28,458 You really think I would be a part 148 00:05:28,502 --> 00:05:29,981 of something that wasn't bomb? 149 00:05:30,025 --> 00:05:31,331 Well, it was something. 150 00:05:31,374 --> 00:05:32,462 Something that you can be 151 00:05:32,506 --> 00:05:35,378 very, very proud you did in the past. 152 00:05:35,422 --> 00:05:37,467 Well, the past has become the present, 153 00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:39,861 because the Samurai have asked me, Jacob Hill, 154 00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:41,689 to join the afternoon show. 155 00:05:41,732 --> 00:05:43,386 - Wait. - And you said yes, right? 156 00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:45,083 -Yeah, of course I did. -Janine: Oh, no. 157 00:05:45,127 --> 00:05:46,868 Ava: -[ Laughs ] Fantastic! -Barbara: Yes. 158 00:05:46,911 --> 00:05:48,870 Hey, and if you guys thought the Malcolm X Games was cool, 159 00:05:48,913 --> 00:05:51,351 just wait till you see Rosa Parks and Rec. 160 00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:52,526 Hey, Siri.[ Watch dings ] 161 00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:54,179 Clear my afternoon and set a reminder 162 00:05:54,223 --> 00:05:57,008 to watch this boy embarrass himself.[ Laughter ] 163 00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:58,488 Janine, let me borrow your phone so I can go live 164 00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:00,534 on IG and TikTok at the same time. Uh-- 165 00:06:00,577 --> 00:06:02,753 It's our duty to spread this joy to the world, y'all. 166 00:06:02,797 --> 00:06:04,668 It's tough times out here. People need the laughs. 167 00:06:04,712 --> 00:06:06,104 The people need the laughs. 168 00:06:10,108 --> 00:06:11,762 Hey. I got your Slack. 169 00:06:11,806 --> 00:06:13,503 By the way, thanks for being the first one 170 00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:15,853 to use the Slack channel I set up two months ago. 171 00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:17,420 [ Chuckles ] Anyway, what's up? 172 00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:18,856 Um, I just wanted to talk to you 173 00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:21,250 a little bit more about this Samurai business. 174 00:06:21,293 --> 00:06:22,904 It's exciting, right? 175 00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:24,035 Oh, 100%. 176 00:06:24,079 --> 00:06:25,559 I'm sure back when you were performing, 177 00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:28,562 you were riveting, blowing tiny minds left and right. 178 00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:30,433 Guilty. Yeah. 179 00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:33,871 Off that, though, my concern is, 180 00:06:33,915 --> 00:06:36,700 what if you kill it too much? 181 00:06:36,744 --> 00:06:39,573 Kill it too much? What? I'm not sure I follow. 182 00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:43,707 Well, it's just you were so good at it, you said, 183 00:06:43,751 --> 00:06:46,884 and this is a new generation of Samurai. 184 00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:48,582 They need to feel good about themselves, 185 00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:51,062 and they probably can't compare. 186 00:06:51,106 --> 00:06:53,108 You don't want to upstage them, do you? 187 00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:57,155 Wow. Janine, I didn't even think of that. 188 00:06:58,461 --> 00:07:00,463 See, this is why we're friends. 189 00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:04,119 Thank you... for seeing me. 190 00:07:04,162 --> 00:07:05,599 You got it, bud. 191 00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:07,905 Alright, well, Slack me if you got anything else, okay? 192 00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:09,820 You know, you can customize the emojis. 193 00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:10,778 Mm-hmm. 194 00:07:12,301 --> 00:07:17,088 Second graders, who can tell me which clock says 3:30? 195 00:07:17,132 --> 00:07:18,002 -Thank you. -Ooh! I know! 196 00:07:18,046 --> 00:07:19,787 We learned this last year! 197 00:07:19,830 --> 00:07:21,571 Okay, thank you, Jameel, but you gotta do your worksheet, okay? 198 00:07:21,615 --> 00:07:22,790 -They gotta answer. -I have a question. 199 00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:24,139 Yeah. Honey, hang on one second. 200 00:07:24,182 --> 00:07:25,619 -I can help you! -That's a preparation-- 201 00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:26,968 No, no, no, no, sweetheart. 202 00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:28,448 You stay on the third-grade side, okay? 203 00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:29,579 You just let them do their thing. 204 00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:30,754 Desiree: -Ms. Schemmenti? -Yes? 205 00:07:30,798 --> 00:07:32,582 Bul tied his shoe to the desk. 206 00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:35,106 He did what? Oh! Oh, no. 207 00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:36,456 Ms. Schemmenti, can I borrow you? 208 00:07:36,499 --> 00:07:37,631 Oh. Let me see this. 209 00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:39,589 Okay. Second graders only, 210 00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:40,764 can you tell me 211 00:07:40,808 --> 00:07:43,593 which clock is saying 3:30? 212 00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:45,203 What the heck did you do here? 213 00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:47,641 - Look. Are-- Are you okay? - I know, I know, I know! 214 00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:49,599 Jameel, what are you doing on this side? 215 00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:51,209 Go back to the third-graders side. 216 00:07:51,253 --> 00:07:53,777 But I knew the answer, so I came to the second-grade side. 217 00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:55,692 Okay, well, go back to the third-graders side. 218 00:07:55,736 --> 00:07:57,128 Okay. Are you good? 219 00:07:57,172 --> 00:07:58,956 Oh, me? I'm... fine. 220 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,001 I got this. 221 00:08:00,044 --> 00:08:01,524 Okay. Okay. 222 00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:03,134 Desiree. Where are you going? 223 00:08:03,178 --> 00:08:05,659 Third graders get to go to the library by themselves. 224 00:08:05,702 --> 00:08:07,225 You're not in the third grade. 225 00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:08,836 Depends where you sit. 226 00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:13,318 Okay, anybody else in the class sitting on the wrong side, 227 00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:15,146 switch. 228 00:08:15,190 --> 00:08:16,670 What? 229 00:08:17,366 --> 00:08:19,673 [ Rhythmic tapping ] 230 00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:25,505 Um, I will be right back. Please stay quiet. Thank you. 231 00:08:25,548 --> 00:08:26,854 Quiet. 232 00:08:28,377 --> 00:08:29,683 Hey! What's up? 233 00:08:29,726 --> 00:08:31,554 Just saying hi. 234 00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:33,556 Oh. That's nice. 235 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,384 Hi. How's your day? 236 00:08:35,427 --> 00:08:36,646 Surprisingly smooth. 237 00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:38,169 I got through 90% of animal habitats, 238 00:08:38,213 --> 00:08:40,345 even though it's been a bigger bathroom day than usual. 239 00:08:40,389 --> 00:08:41,695 Mm. 240 00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:43,697 For-- For the kids, not for me. 241 00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:45,220 -Oh, okay. -Yeah. How's your day going? 242 00:08:45,263 --> 00:08:46,569 Uh, my day is good. 243 00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:48,571 Um, taught -the two times table. -Oh. 244 00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:51,705 But I did convince Jacob not to perform. 245 00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:53,533 Thank goodness. 246 00:08:53,576 --> 00:08:55,186 That girl isn't ruining this for me. 247 00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:56,536 She can be so selfish. 248 00:08:56,579 --> 00:08:58,189 Like last week, when she wouldn't pretend 249 00:08:58,233 --> 00:09:00,104 to be my daughter at McDonald's so I could get a Happy Meal. 250 00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:01,192 [ Scoffs ] 251 00:09:01,236 --> 00:09:03,020 So you just told him that it's corny 252 00:09:03,064 --> 00:09:05,240 and that eventually we will all end up making fun of him? 253 00:09:05,283 --> 00:09:07,851 No. Better. I told a fib. 254 00:09:07,895 --> 00:09:09,418 To protect his feelings. Ah. 255 00:09:09,461 --> 00:09:12,464 Jacob just puts so much thought into how he's perceived. 256 00:09:12,508 --> 00:09:13,683 And it doesn't hurt anyone, 257 00:09:13,727 --> 00:09:15,685 so I figured, why burst his bubble? 258 00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:17,687 For one, it could stop him from inviting us 259 00:09:17,731 --> 00:09:20,255 to his "Living Single" rewatch parties. 260 00:09:20,298 --> 00:09:21,604 [ Laughs ] 261 00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:23,040 It's like, dude, you're in a relationship. 262 00:09:23,084 --> 00:09:24,738 I don't-- I don't get it. 263 00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:26,130 But he does get some good guest speakers. 264 00:09:26,174 --> 00:09:27,610 He got the guy who played Kyle-- 265 00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:29,612 [ Door opens ][ Students shouting ] 266 00:09:29,656 --> 00:09:31,483 Oh. Melissa? Are you okay? 267 00:09:31,527 --> 00:09:33,398 [ Door closes ] Yes. 268 00:09:33,442 --> 00:09:34,574 Okay. 269 00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:41,015 Good. 270 00:09:41,798 --> 00:09:44,627 [ Door opens ][ Students shouting ] 271 00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:45,889 You like that cheesesteak? 272 00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:47,761 We got it from the corner store. 273 00:09:47,804 --> 00:09:49,893 People write off this area as a food desert, 274 00:09:49,937 --> 00:09:52,243 but the culinary scene here is so slept on. 275 00:09:52,287 --> 00:09:53,593 It really is. 276 00:09:53,636 --> 00:09:55,725 So, listen, I am honored 277 00:09:55,769 --> 00:09:58,162 by the invitation to perform with you all, 278 00:09:58,206 --> 00:10:01,296 but, uh, I think I gotta sit this one out. 279 00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:04,255 Man. Are you serious? We were so stoked, Sensei. 280 00:10:04,299 --> 00:10:06,780 Yeah, we still talk about your legendary performances. 281 00:10:06,823 --> 00:10:10,653 -You are our dopest alumnus. -Other than Josh Gad. 282 00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:12,263 -Oh. Josh Gad.Josh Gad. -Yeah. Olaf. 283 00:10:12,307 --> 00:10:15,092 I am flattered, truly, but I got to keep 284 00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:18,269 my Story Kimono up in the rafters, okay? 285 00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:19,662 What's up, Mr. C? 286 00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:23,013 Hey, Clarence. Meet the Story Samurai. 287 00:10:24,798 --> 00:10:26,451 Nah. I'm good. Yep. 288 00:10:26,495 --> 00:10:27,627 You catch "Last Week Tonight"? 289 00:10:27,670 --> 00:10:29,367 [ Scoffs ] You know it. 290 00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:31,108 Yeah. I bet you did. 291 00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:33,763 I'll see you in history, Mr. C. 292 00:10:33,807 --> 00:10:35,156 That's what it's all about, dawg. 293 00:10:35,199 --> 00:10:38,289 Connecting with the kids. That's why we story. 294 00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:39,682 That's why we samurai. 295 00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:40,944 It's true. 296 00:10:40,988 --> 00:10:42,946 You guys should consider working in a school, 297 00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:44,513 you know, full-time, when you're out. 298 00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:47,864 I don't know. I was planning on auditioning for "SNL," 299 00:10:47,908 --> 00:10:50,127 or if not that, a YouTube channel. 300 00:10:50,171 --> 00:10:52,956 Yeah, I'm gonna work at my dad's hedge fund. 301 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,697 In a school like this, 302 00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:57,134 you're kind of like a firefighter for joy. 303 00:10:57,178 --> 00:10:59,702 You want to get in, spray as much joy as possible, 304 00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:00,834 and then get out. 305 00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:02,313 [ P.A. system beeps] 306 00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:03,706 Ava: Big news, Abbott Elementarians! 307 00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:05,665 I am calling an all-school assembly 308 00:11:05,708 --> 00:11:07,710 so that we can watch our own Mr. Hill 309 00:11:07,754 --> 00:11:10,017 perform with the Story Samurai. 310 00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:11,409 It'll be like watching The Game 311 00:11:11,453 --> 00:11:13,716 perform one night only with G-Unit. 312 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,326 You got this, Mr. C! 313 00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:17,067 Student: -Yeah, you do. -Heh. 314 00:11:18,373 --> 00:11:20,549 I'm so excited about your performance. 315 00:11:20,592 --> 00:11:22,725 I'm stretching so I don't throw my back out laughing-- 316 00:11:22,769 --> 00:11:24,248 I mean, learning. [ Giggles ] 317 00:11:24,292 --> 00:11:27,077 Are you ready to swing your story sword? 318 00:11:27,121 --> 00:11:28,557 Yes. 319 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:30,515 And, uh, you're gonna be live streaming the whole thing? 320 00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:31,734 Oh, yeah! It's gonna open 321 00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:33,040 a whole new corner of TikTok for me. 322 00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:35,346 Well, I so appreciate you using your platform 323 00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:37,044 to amplify our message. 324 00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:41,352 Hey, Jacob. You aren't performing, are you? 325 00:11:41,396 --> 00:11:43,006 Because we already talked about it. 326 00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:45,182 And remember? No upstaging the Samurai. 327 00:11:45,226 --> 00:11:47,271 Yeah, but it's a whole school assembly now, 328 00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:49,578 and, you know, the kids are gonna be expecting to see me, so, uh... 329 00:11:49,621 --> 00:11:52,537 Yeah, he don't want to let all those kids down, Janine. 330 00:11:52,581 --> 00:11:53,843 [ Jacob humming ] 331 00:11:53,887 --> 00:11:55,192 [ Whispers ] I know what you're doing! 332 00:11:55,236 --> 00:11:57,368 Good, 'cause I worry about your awareness. 333 00:11:57,412 --> 00:11:59,370 [ Jacob breathing sharply ] 334 00:11:59,414 --> 00:12:01,764 Hey, Jacob, can I see you for a second in the hall? 335 00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:03,723 Just real quick. 336 00:12:04,898 --> 00:12:07,596 Don't listen to her! We believe in you, Jacob! 337 00:12:07,639 --> 00:12:09,206 [ Door closes ] 338 00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:12,253 Hey, what's, uh-- what's going on? 339 00:12:12,296 --> 00:12:15,082 Um, I'm not sure-- 340 00:12:16,344 --> 00:12:17,780 I don't think you should perform. 341 00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:20,391 Look. I get it. You think I'm rusty. 342 00:12:20,435 --> 00:12:21,741 But don't worry. 343 00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:23,220 It's-- It's muscle memory. You know? 344 00:12:23,264 --> 00:12:26,093 It's like when I ride a unicycle--That's enough. 345 00:12:26,136 --> 00:12:28,748 Jacob, Ava just wants you to perform 346 00:12:28,791 --> 00:12:30,924 so that everyone can laugh at you. 347 00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:32,795 What? [ Stammers ] 348 00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:34,884 Yeah, they're gonna laugh. They're gonna laugh with us. 349 00:12:34,928 --> 00:12:36,886 It's a pretty biting satire. It's-- 350 00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:38,888 No, no. They're going to laugh at you, 351 00:12:38,932 --> 00:12:41,064 because, Jacob, the Story Samurai 352 00:12:41,108 --> 00:12:43,284 are corny as hell. 353 00:12:43,327 --> 00:12:46,809 How could the Samurai be corny? I was in it. 354 00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:54,469 I'm c-corny? 355 00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:58,952 Jacob, you are... 356 00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:01,998 corny sometimes... yes. 357 00:13:02,042 --> 00:13:03,913 Wha-- [ Chuckles ] 358 00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:06,089 Wait. Uh-- No. 359 00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:08,918 I have Kendrick Lamar on vinyl. Okay? Is that corny? 360 00:13:08,962 --> 00:13:11,268 Look, and the Samurai are not corny, okay? 361 00:13:11,312 --> 00:13:13,618 They performed at a Bernie Sanders rally. 362 00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:14,924 Without his permission. 363 00:13:14,968 --> 00:13:16,970 And those things can be corny. 364 00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:19,624 Look, Jacob, at the end of the day, I'm corny, 365 00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:22,540 and at the beginning of the day, too, but I don't care as much. 366 00:13:22,584 --> 00:13:24,368 Okay, but that is different, because you are 367 00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:26,022 -African-American. -Dit-dit-dit! 368 00:13:26,066 --> 00:13:29,634 See, when you said "African," that's corny. It just is. 369 00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:32,855 Look, you are a white teacher in a Black school. 370 00:13:32,899 --> 00:13:34,988 I am not Hilary Swank in "Freedom Writers." 371 00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:37,468 You are Hilary Swank in "Freedom Writers." 372 00:13:37,512 --> 00:13:39,949 You are Michelle Pfeiffer in "Dangerous Minds." 373 00:13:39,993 --> 00:13:41,864 You are Sandra Bullock in-- 374 00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:42,952 In "Bird Box"? 375 00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:44,998 In "The Blind Side." [ Gasps ] 376 00:13:45,999 --> 00:13:47,174 Too far. Too far, I know. 377 00:13:47,217 --> 00:13:49,393 I'm sorry about that. I know. 378 00:13:49,437 --> 00:13:50,873 But my point is... 379 00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:53,049 you cannot do this performance. 380 00:13:53,093 --> 00:13:54,964 You will never live it down. 381 00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:56,313 I'm just trying to help. 382 00:13:56,357 --> 00:14:00,317 You don't want to be a corny legend. 383 00:14:00,361 --> 00:14:01,536 [ Door opens ] 384 00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:04,539 Jacob, hair and makeup are ready for you. 385 00:14:05,932 --> 00:14:07,324 You know what, Ava? 386 00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:09,326 I don't think I'm going to do the performance, 387 00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:11,024 and, um... 388 00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:13,896 By the way, would a "corny" person 389 00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:17,030 stage a one-man show called "The Color Urkel"? 390 00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:19,859 Did you do that? Then yeah. 391 00:14:25,777 --> 00:14:29,216 Damn it, Janine! Pop-Tarts was sponsoring the stream! 392 00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:36,353 Oh. Melissa? 393 00:14:36,397 --> 00:14:38,529 Is this your handiwork? 394 00:14:38,573 --> 00:14:41,706 Students: Ooooh! 395 00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,056 He looked at me funny. 396 00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:46,886 Oh, you have been dealt an impossible situation. 397 00:14:46,929 --> 00:14:47,930 Aw, come on. 398 00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,889 Nothing's impossible for us. 399 00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:51,934 I have known you a long time, 400 00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:54,284 and you are an amazing teacher. 401 00:14:54,328 --> 00:14:57,200 This is no reflection of your teaching ability. 402 00:14:57,244 --> 00:15:00,377 Yeah, but, you know, you said it yourself. 403 00:15:00,421 --> 00:15:01,683 I got this. 404 00:15:01,726 --> 00:15:04,381 I believe in you, so I know that you could, 405 00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:07,036 but just because you could doesn't mean you should, 406 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:09,473 and I shouldn't have made you feel that way. 407 00:15:09,517 --> 00:15:14,130 Huh! Give me two classes, girl, I'd be in Jamaica. Mm! 408 00:15:14,174 --> 00:15:17,220 Yeah, there was a moment when I mentally transported 409 00:15:17,264 --> 00:15:20,441 to Capt'n Chucky's Crab Cakes in Ocean City. 410 00:15:20,484 --> 00:15:22,095 Aww. 411 00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:25,925 This school district offers you absolutely nothing, 412 00:15:25,968 --> 00:15:29,232 and the mere fact that they are offering you something 413 00:15:29,276 --> 00:15:32,061 is all the proof that you need. 414 00:15:32,105 --> 00:15:34,759 Yeah, maybe having an aide wouldn't be so bad. 415 00:15:34,803 --> 00:15:38,938 And in the meantime, I know exactly what you need. 416 00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:41,636 A bathtub full of Prosecco. 417 00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:43,116 A laugh. 418 00:15:43,986 --> 00:15:45,509 Okay. 419 00:15:45,553 --> 00:15:47,990 So, wait. -Jacob isn't performing now? -No. 420 00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:50,079 Y'all gotta stop playing God with that boy's life. 421 00:15:50,123 --> 00:15:51,428 Oh, no, no, no, no. 422 00:15:51,472 --> 00:15:53,691 I truly convinced him this time to let it go. 423 00:15:53,735 --> 00:15:56,129 I told him the truth, which I feel good about, 424 00:15:56,172 --> 00:15:57,608 but I also feel kinda bad about. 425 00:15:57,652 --> 00:15:59,349 Well, did he really want to do it? 426 00:15:59,393 --> 00:16:00,785 Uh, yeah. 427 00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:03,266 He was over the moon and back, 428 00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:06,008 but I'm just trying to save him from embarrassment. 429 00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:07,488 He was gonna look like a fool 430 00:16:07,531 --> 00:16:10,099 in front of the entire school and the Internet. 431 00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:12,841 But he does that weekly anyway. It's who he is. 432 00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:15,365 I mean, if we like him for it and he really wanted to do it, 433 00:16:15,409 --> 00:16:19,152 I don't see why you would stop him from being him. 434 00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:21,806 Stay in the line, y'all. 435 00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:23,025 I'm Megan! 436 00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:25,288 I'm Harold! And I'm Tyrone! 437 00:16:25,332 --> 00:16:27,551 He just ruined my favorite Erykah Badu song. 438 00:16:27,595 --> 00:16:30,641 Together: And we are the Story Samurai! 439 00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:32,339 Hi-ya! 440 00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:34,471 I thought you were gonna go up there, Mr. C. 441 00:16:34,515 --> 00:16:37,300 Well, Clarence, I-I didn't want to steal their thunder. 442 00:16:37,344 --> 00:16:38,649 Ohh. 443 00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:40,173 It would've been mad funny to see you up there. 444 00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:41,478 Harold: Cut the corners of the bread. 445 00:16:41,522 --> 00:16:44,177 Can we get a suggestion? Anyone? 446 00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:46,179 Clarence: We call him Mr. C because he's corny. 447 00:16:46,222 --> 00:16:49,008 But I like his class. It's fun. 448 00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:51,662 He showed us that movie, "Summer of Soul." 449 00:16:51,706 --> 00:16:53,577 That was good. He's cool. 450 00:16:53,621 --> 00:16:56,667 -Megan: Tapenade! -Harold: Ooh! Dijon! 451 00:16:56,711 --> 00:16:58,234 I have a suggestion! 452 00:16:58,278 --> 00:17:00,323 Who thinks Mr. Hill should get up there?! 453 00:17:00,367 --> 00:17:03,022 [ Cheers and applause ] 454 00:17:03,065 --> 00:17:04,327 Yes, yes! 455 00:17:04,371 --> 00:17:06,721 [ Cheers and applause ] 456 00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:17,166 Okay. Can I get a suggestion? 457 00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:19,516 -A tiger. -I heard "tiger." 458 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:23,346 Okay, because I'm a tiger with stripes and big teeth, 459 00:17:23,390 --> 00:17:26,523 people are conditioned to think I'm scary. 460 00:17:26,567 --> 00:17:29,091 The villagers judge and harass me 461 00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:31,050 based on how I look. 462 00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:33,052 What is my conflict? 463 00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:34,357 Your dad thinks you're a bum! 464 00:17:34,401 --> 00:17:35,532 [ Students laugh ] 465 00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:37,186 Samurais: Bum, bum, bum, bum. 466 00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:40,363 Okay, okay. Yeah, I want to sell cereal, 467 00:17:40,407 --> 00:17:43,236 but my tiger dad wants me to stay in the forest. 468 00:17:43,279 --> 00:17:45,803 Is he using a cereal mascot to describe racial discrimination? 469 00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:47,762 Mm-hmm. -That's what he's doing. -Okay. 470 00:17:47,805 --> 00:17:50,721 I was born to help make a balanced breakfast. 471 00:17:50,765 --> 00:17:53,811 These stripes are feeling like prison bars! 472 00:17:53,855 --> 00:17:56,075 [ Laughing hysterically ] 473 00:17:59,252 --> 00:18:02,733 I'm sorry. I've just never been so inspired. 474 00:18:02,777 --> 00:18:03,908 [ Laughs ] 475 00:18:03,952 --> 00:18:05,910 Son, I support anything you do. 476 00:18:05,954 --> 00:18:07,564 I just think you need one thing 477 00:18:07,608 --> 00:18:10,611 so people know you're a friendly tiger. 478 00:18:10,654 --> 00:18:12,439 This red handkerchief. 479 00:18:12,482 --> 00:18:17,139 Thank you, fam, for helping me be who I am. 480 00:18:17,183 --> 00:18:19,098 Samurais: Who I am. 481 00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:21,100 Who I am. 482 00:18:21,143 --> 00:18:23,450 Who I am! 483 00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:26,409 Whoo! 484 00:18:26,453 --> 00:18:29,151 [ Cheers and applause ] 485 00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:31,762 Nice! Nice! Nice! 486 00:18:31,806 --> 00:18:34,765 I know who I am. I see it. 487 00:18:34,809 --> 00:18:38,943 I am Jacob Hill, and it turns out... 488 00:18:38,987 --> 00:18:39,988 I'm corny. 489 00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:41,859 Corny isn't bad. 490 00:18:41,903 --> 00:18:43,644 [ Screams ] 491 00:18:43,687 --> 00:18:45,298 It just is. 492 00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:47,517 -Melissa: Yayyy. -Aww. 493 00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:49,258 [ Chuckles ] 494 00:18:49,302 --> 00:18:52,174 Jacob, that was actually incredible. 495 00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:54,176 Actually, it was corny. 496 00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:55,438 But the kids loved it. 497 00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:57,440 I do think the trust fall to represent 498 00:18:57,484 --> 00:18:59,355 our own appropriation was a bit much. 499 00:18:59,399 --> 00:19:00,965 I mean, I would have dropped me. 500 00:19:01,009 --> 00:19:02,445 [ Laughter ] 501 00:19:02,489 --> 00:19:04,621 That was so corny, I gained 2,000 new followers 502 00:19:04,665 --> 00:19:07,668 during the stream, including Josh Gad, whoever that is. 503 00:19:07,711 --> 00:19:09,365 When you guys Voltron'd yourselves 504 00:19:09,409 --> 00:19:12,629 into a Black Shaun King, I-- I died. I did. 505 00:19:12,673 --> 00:19:15,502 -And the singing. -And those outfits. 506 00:19:15,545 --> 00:19:18,200 Your curly-ass hair. [ Laughs ] 507 00:19:18,244 --> 00:19:20,202 That's-- That's just my hair. 508 00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:22,291 -Bravo, Jacob. Bravo. -Good job, man. 509 00:19:22,335 --> 00:19:23,684 - Yes, yes. - Nailed it. 510 00:19:23,727 --> 00:19:24,989 - You got it. - You did that. 511 00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:26,600 Made my day. 512 00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:31,866 You think they'll ever get how corny they are? 513 00:19:31,909 --> 00:19:34,912 Not a chance. They'll never stay in one place long enough 514 00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:38,742 to connect with someone who will tell them the truth. 515 00:19:38,786 --> 00:19:41,310 They're missing out on the best part-- 516 00:19:41,354 --> 00:19:42,703 connection. 517 00:19:42,746 --> 00:19:44,183 Hey. 518 00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:46,924 Can you get your corny asses out of here so I can clean? 519 00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:49,927 Go on and get. 520 00:19:49,971 --> 00:19:52,191 -Okay. -So your request for a teacher's aide has been filled, 521 00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:53,844 and they're sending one over today. 522 00:19:53,888 --> 00:19:55,063 Ohh! 523 00:19:55,106 --> 00:19:58,240 A Ashley Garcia from Frankford. 524 00:19:58,284 --> 00:20:01,025 Eh. Frankford. That's a toss-up. 525 00:20:01,069 --> 00:20:02,331 Gotta admit, never thought I'd see 526 00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:04,246 the Melissa Schemmenti asking for help. 527 00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:06,335 Okay, Ava, I'm not in the mood, right? 528 00:20:06,379 --> 00:20:08,555 I'm just in the mood to get some help. 529 00:20:08,598 --> 00:20:10,034 When-- When's she getting here? 530 00:20:10,078 --> 00:20:13,212 [ Chuckles ] Well, it look like she's here now. 531 00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:15,039 Okay. Why are you making the face? 532 00:20:15,083 --> 00:20:17,346 [ To tune of "Waiting for Tonight" ] ♪ Waiting for Ashley 533 00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:18,739 ♪ Ohh-ohh-ohh 534 00:20:18,782 --> 00:20:21,263 ♪ I'll be the aide of your dreams ♪ 535 00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:23,526 ♪ Waiting for Ashley 536 00:20:23,570 --> 00:20:24,962 ♪ Ohh-ohh-ohh 537 00:20:25,006 --> 00:20:28,227 ♪ You'll get help with your class needs ♪ 538 00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:30,533 ♪ Waiting for Ashley 539 00:20:30,577 --> 00:20:33,623 What's up, Melissa? I'm Ashley. 540 00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:34,885 Oh, wait. 541 00:20:34,929 --> 00:20:36,235 The boombox wasn't on, 542 00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:38,759 so the song probably didn't make sense! 543 00:20:38,802 --> 00:20:40,369 That was Jennifer. 544 00:20:40,413 --> 00:20:42,066 Lopez. Lopez. Mm-hmm. 545 00:20:42,110 --> 00:20:44,243 Yeah. Let me come back in. 546 00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:46,245 [ Chuckles ] 547 00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:53,252 ♪ Homework is the jam, homework is the jaaaam ♪ 548 00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:56,559 What are you doing? 549 00:20:56,603 --> 00:20:59,562 Oh. Just waiting out their cool down. 550 00:20:59,606 --> 00:21:02,261 Not in the mood to be improv-ed at. 551 00:21:03,131 --> 00:21:04,480 You don't think-- 552 00:21:04,524 --> 00:21:06,090 I mean, they have to be virgins, right? 553 00:21:06,134 --> 00:21:07,266 [ Laughs ] Stop it. 554 00:21:07,309 --> 00:21:09,442 I'm serious. Oh, no. 555 00:21:11,357 --> 00:21:12,923 Can we get a suggestion? 556 00:21:12,967 --> 00:21:14,621 Yeah. Beat it! 557 00:21:15,448 --> 00:21:17,101 [ Fingers snapping ] 558 00:21:17,145 --> 00:21:18,581 [ Samurais grunting ] 559 00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:19,930 Oh, you might be right. 560 00:21:19,974 --> 00:21:22,106 Hey! I'm calling the police! 561 00:21:22,150 --> 00:21:23,325 Whoo-hoo!