1 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:06,923 ("Amazing Grace" plays) 2 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:13,138 ♪ 3 00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:16,349 Ms. Teagues, are you chewing gum? 4 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:18,351 Yeah. 5 00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:21,604 Where does gum go when you enter this classroom? 6 00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:24,858 CHILDREN: Wanda the Waste Basket! 7 00:00:26,901 --> 00:00:29,029 Okay. All right, come on, 8 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,572 my future little Odd Futures. 9 00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:32,032 Time to go back to our classroom. 10 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,158 ♪ 11 00:00:33,158 --> 00:00:34,576 Uh, come on, guys. 12 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,619 You'll see Ms. Davis next week. 13 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:39,289 (sighs) Hey, guys. 14 00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:40,915 I know music class is fun, 15 00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:42,792 but that's why we have to let someone else have a turn. 16 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,627 ♪ 17 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:45,879 All right, guys, you know what? 18 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,172 Don't make me collect the recorders, 19 00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:48,590 'cause if I collect them, 20 00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,300 who knows when you're gonna see them again. 21 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:51,676 (music stops) 22 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:58,016 ♪ That saved a wretch like me ♪ 23 00:00:58,016 --> 00:00:59,517 I once was lost... ♪ 24 00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:02,520 (Maker's "Hold'em" playing) 25 00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:11,946 ♪ 26 00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:14,366 JANINE (sighs): So sorry I'm late. 27 00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:15,825 Oh, glad you guys started without me. 28 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:16,868 We weren't waiting. 29 00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:18,244 This isn't a restaurant. 30 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,205 Uh, why are you late? Is everything okay? 31 00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:21,539 Yeah, everything's fine. 32 00:01:21,623 --> 00:01:23,083 The kids just love Ms. Davis' class, 33 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,876 so it takes a while to get them back, 34 00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:26,336 and then everything runs a little late. 35 00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:28,588 You know, normally, I'd be bothered by my kids 36 00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:30,882 being obsessed with another teacher, but I get it. 37 00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:33,093 - My class? Also Davis devotees. - Mm. 38 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:36,721 Only way she could be cooler is if she were related to Angela. 39 00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,765 Not that I think all black people are related. 40 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,183 Well, maybe you do. 41 00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:41,893 Maybe that was your subconscious speaking. 42 00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:43,687 What would Angela Davis think? 43 00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:46,272 Well, my suggestion to all of you 44 00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:48,983 is to enjoy your free periods while you can. 45 00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:51,903 Because music class will be going bye-bye-bye 46 00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:54,072 like Blackstreet Boyz II Men. 47 00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:56,741 Mm, mnh, no. Wrong in like three ways. 48 00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:58,243 Whoa. What's happening to music class? 49 00:01:58,243 --> 00:02:00,662 Well, the school pays for the music class 50 00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:02,247 out of discretionary funds. 51 00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:05,041 And since Ava lost her dirt on Superintendent Collins 52 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,918 when he married the goomah, 53 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,753 there's no way he's gonna fork over the cash 54 00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:10,005 like he has for the last three years. 55 00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:13,758 No more of the glitz and glam you lot have become used to. 56 00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:15,719 It's gonna go right back to the lean years. 57 00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:17,178 - (handle cracks) - Mm-hmm. 58 00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:18,596 Then what are these? 59 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:21,307 There has to be a way to convince Superintendent Collins 60 00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:23,226 that we still need that discretionary money. 61 00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:25,812 Well, all the principals have to present their cases for funding 62 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,439 to the school board at the end of the week. 63 00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:29,065 How do you always know this stuff? 64 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,358 I told you all this many times -- 65 00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:31,526 I trained to be a principal. 66 00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:33,528 - Mm, it's not ringing a bell. - Mm. 67 00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:36,239 I interned at the Baltimore School Board for two summers. 68 00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:38,324 I got my Master's in Educational Leadership, 69 00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,535 and I went through a program specifically meant 70 00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:43,038 to encourage young black men to become principals. 71 00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:44,664 So do I think that Ava can learn 72 00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:46,374 everything that she needs to know by Friday? 73 00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:48,001 No. 74 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,712 Out of curiosity, what was her presentation like last year? 75 00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:52,964 She played a chopped and screwed version of Tom Cruise saying, 76 00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:54,549 "Show me the money," on repeat. 77 00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:56,468 And no one asked any questions when that worked? 78 00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:57,552 I'm sure she is preparing, 79 00:02:57,552 --> 00:02:59,304 given the circumstances have changed. 80 00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:02,140 "They keep telling me I've aged out of The Bachelor, 81 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:04,851 so that's why I need to borrow your birth certificate, Ava, 82 00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,770 - exclamation mark." - (cellphone beeps) 83 00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:11,900 Even in a world where Ava could put together 84 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,693 - a competent presentation... - Mm-hmm. 85 00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:15,278 ...it still does not change the fact 86 00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:18,323 that the Superintendent can't stand her 87 00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:20,533 and, by extension, us. 88 00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,160 The nerve on that guy. 89 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,745 Yeah, well, maybe this will be the year 90 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:26,623 where the school board finally awards me 91 00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:29,709 that Advancement Grant that I have been applying to 92 00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:31,544 for 10 years. 93 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,006 They will if we make them. 94 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:39,177 Just, like, a little... gentle arm-twisting. 95 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,597 A little arm twist never hurt. 96 00:03:42,681 --> 00:03:44,849 (gasps) This is so exciting. Oh, my God. 97 00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:46,267 I'm gonna go to the mall right after school 98 00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:47,811 and get a new shakedown sweater. 99 00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:49,771 (footsteps approaching) 100 00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:52,732 Do I even wanna know? 101 00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,317 I don't know. Do you? 102 00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,111 You know you have a presentation 103 00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:57,445 to the school board coming up, right? 104 00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:58,905 Yeah, I do it annually. 105 00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:02,033 Right, but you're ready for the one this year? 106 00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:04,244 This girl doesn't know what "annually" means. 107 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,286 No, I know what it means. 108 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,122 It's just that this time is a little different. 109 00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:08,665 Yeah, my job is on the line. 110 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:12,544 More importantly, discretionary funds for the entire school. 111 00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:14,421 Yeah, but those two things kinda go hand in hand 112 00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:15,755 - if you really think about it. - Great. 113 00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:16,965 So you're taking it seriously, then. 114 00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:18,008 As a heart attack. 115 00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:20,385 I haven't watched Love After Lockup in like a month. 116 00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:21,428 Free Puppy. 117 00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:23,430 Can I see the presentation? 118 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,514 You don't have a lawyer, do you? 119 00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,933 No. Oh, not unless you count that guy 120 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,393 that represented me in that hit-and-run. 121 00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:30,687 I was clipped by a delirious jogger. 122 00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:32,439 Then I'll show you the presentation tomorrow. 123 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,441 There's a lot of proprietary technology involved. 124 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,651 Sign this NDA 125 00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:38,862 and bring it back in the morning. 126 00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:41,281 Don't look at them. They've already signed. 127 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,742 Oh. Okay. 128 00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:45,410 I found a connection at the school board. 129 00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:46,911 Ooh, you got a guy there? 130 00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:48,038 No, you do. 131 00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:50,457 Delisha Sloss. She goes to your church. 132 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,792 My guy says she's on the finance committee or something. 133 00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:54,252 I know her. 134 00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:56,546 - One of our shadier members. - Mm-hmm. 135 00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:59,382 But God's light finds even the shadows. 136 00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,634 Yeah, she's up to something. 137 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,970 Being able to spot ops runs in the family. 138 00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:07,599 That's how we Schemmentis got so successful in...business. 139 00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:09,768 I don't think so. 140 00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:12,354 Oh, come on! It's an easy squeeze. 141 00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:14,731 She's been skimming cash off the top for years. 142 00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:17,275 It's not that I can't handle it. 143 00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:18,693 It's just that... 144 00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:21,029 I'm not used to playing in the mud. 145 00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:23,365 I leave that to people like you. 146 00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:26,951 (pen scratching paper) 147 00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:29,412 People like me, huh? 148 00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:33,708 Your signed NDA. 149 00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,210 - That's a cute shirt. - Oh, thank you. 150 00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:36,544 I got it from Old Navy. 151 00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:37,796 It would look much better on me. 152 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:38,838 You know what? Give it to me. 153 00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:39,964 No. What? 154 00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:41,466 Look, can we just start already? 155 00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:43,468 I wanna finish this before the kids get here at 7:30 -- 156 00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:44,844 6:00 -- 7:30. 157 00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:47,347 This presentation is about to blow your mind. 158 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:50,141 Let's get started. Ava 2, Ava 3. 159 00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,768 (motors whirring) 160 00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:53,937 Oh! What?! 161 00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:57,440 (motors whirring) 162 00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,192 What the hell? 163 00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:02,237 - - - Success. - Greatness. 164 00:06:02,237 --> 00:06:03,321 Passion. 165 00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:05,990 And what do all those words have in common? 166 00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:07,575 - - - Ava Coleman. - Ava Coleman. 167 00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:10,370 So, in conclusion, a school with such an amazing leader 168 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,622 is an obvious choice for discretionary funds. 169 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:13,998 And what school is that? 170 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:17,127 A. 171 00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:18,461 - B. - B. 172 00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:19,629 - Okay. - O. 173 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,047 - That's enough. - T. 174 00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:22,298 L. Janine, you're throwing off my timing. 175 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,425 - E. - Enough. 176 00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:26,136 M -- M -- M -- M -- M -- M -- 177 00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,096 - What? - You couldn't let me finish? 178 00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:29,639 - No -- - (thud) 179 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,266 Ow! 180 00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:33,018 So, what do you think? 181 00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:35,020 I think... 182 00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:38,440 I don't think this is what the school board is looking for. 183 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:41,484 (sighs) Damn it! 184 00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:42,902 I knew it. 185 00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:44,279 (sighs) I thought I could just hit 'em 186 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:45,822 with the ol' razzle-dazzle. 187 00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:48,283 These are the parts about being a principal that I'm not good at. 188 00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:51,202 Interesting. What parts would you say you are good at? 189 00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:52,954 This isn't the time for jokes, Janine. 190 00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:55,040 This is the first time in my life that I won't be able to 191 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,333 charisma my way out of the situation. 192 00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:00,337 This is the first job that I've liked in my life. 193 00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:02,380 I don't wanna lose it. 194 00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:07,385 Okay. Well, what if we find a way to combine your charisma 195 00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:09,846 with what the school board is actually looking for? 196 00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:11,598 That's the point -- I don't know. 197 00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:12,891 I'm not some nerd, 198 00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,726 got somebody showing me the ropes and giving me advice 199 00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:17,270 and putting up with my near-constant hijinks. 200 00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:19,064 Okay. You're right. (sighs) 201 00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:20,899 We need to find someone who knows 202 00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:22,942 what presentations like this should look like. 203 00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:26,196 I know how you feel about Ava 204 00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:27,530 and the whole principal situation, 205 00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,199 but this is for the kids. 206 00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:30,658 It feels like it's for Ava. 207 00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:33,536 Yeah. But it'd be for all of us, too. 208 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:36,081 I mean, say they fire Ava. Then what? 209 00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:38,541 They bring in some micromanaging control freak 210 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:39,959 who won't let us do our jobs? 211 00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:41,503 Yeah, we wouldn't want that. 212 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:43,963 Look, I know she may not be our best option, 213 00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:46,508 but she certainly isn't the worst. 214 00:07:46,508 --> 00:07:50,762 Fine. But if she refers to me as a food item, I'm out. 215 00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:53,348 Great. Meet me in the library at lunch. 216 00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:54,849 - (P.A. beeps) - - - AVA: Did he say yes? 217 00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:56,184 'Cause otherwise, I found a livestream 218 00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:58,978 of some other school board's presentation that might help. 219 00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:01,272 Never mind. It's an SNL skit. 220 00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:03,733 Since I've been here, Ava's biggest improvements 221 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,944 to the school include renaming - the Wi- - Fi network 222 00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,445 Bad Bitches Only 223 00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:10,490 and using field-trip money to put 26-inch rims 224 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:11,825 on one of the buses. 225 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:14,202 Is it how I'd do the job? No. 226 00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:16,746 But the school does deserve to have this money. 227 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,832 Very good. 228 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,375 Oh, I like that. 229 00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:21,876 MELISSA: Repo's here. 230 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,004 BARBARA: Hey, Melissa. 231 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,130 You need something? 232 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:26,673 MELISSA: Yeah, I'm just here to repo this rug 233 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:29,134 since you got it from a mud person. 234 00:08:29,134 --> 00:08:30,802 Wait. 235 00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:33,930 Is this because I won't extort a church member? 236 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,473 You are overreacting. 237 00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:37,183 No, I'm just trying to protect you. 238 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:41,438 I wouldn't want you involved in any of my immoral activities. 239 00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:42,605 You need some help? 240 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:43,940 Nah, I got it. 241 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,442 Okay. So, she should start by showing them 242 00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:46,651 our student retention rates. 243 00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:47,736 They've been steady since the appeal 244 00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:49,029 for a student recount was filed. 245 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,989 Yes, Ava counted twins as one student 246 00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:52,991 because she said they share the same soul. 247 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:55,869 That's true. And this is so boring! 248 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,120 And I don't like this shift 249 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,872 in the power dynamic where you're in charge. 250 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,248 You've never been less attractive. 251 00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:01,332 Look, we have to build a case 252 00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,334 to get the discretionary funding with data and facts. 253 00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:04,794 Well, then this is pointless. 254 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,546 I've spent my whole life avoiding those two things. 255 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:09,424 Look, what if we just write down exactly what she needs to say, 256 00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:10,842 and then she can just read it? 257 00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:12,010 I wish I could just read something, 258 00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:13,845 but this superintendent is out to get me. 259 00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:15,805 He's gonna be throwing curves like that lady gym. 260 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:19,267 Okay. Then we have to keep trying. 261 00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:20,643 This is our only option. 262 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,604 Unless you want to catch Superintendent Collins 263 00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:23,938 cheating again. 264 00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:25,774 Yes! Let's focus on that. 265 00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:27,108 That's got to be easier. 266 00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:29,986 Maybe the best thing for the school in the long run 267 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,655 is for her to fail and they get a new principal. 268 00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:35,325 Not necessarily me. Just a new one. 269 00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:39,162 Who...is like me. 270 00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:42,123 And that is one of the many ways that My Octopus Teacher 271 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:44,834 made me, well, believe in love again. 272 00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:48,046 Is everything okay? 273 00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:49,839 The only time I saw you two sit apart 274 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,841 is when Melissa said you should put sugar on grits. 275 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,218 There's nothing to talk about. 276 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,886 Yeah, 'cause it's very straightforward. 277 00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:57,722 We're under attack, and she's got her head buried in the sand. 278 00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,849 Better the sand than the mud. 279 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,810 Okay. You refusing to cooperate 280 00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:03,645 doesn't stop bad things from happening. 281 00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:05,855 We should be using people doing bad stuff 282 00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,524 to do good stuff for our kids. 283 00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:10,402 Mm. "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil 284 00:10:10,402 --> 00:10:12,195 is for good men to do nothing." 285 00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:14,781 You know, usually when you quote stuff, it's annoying 286 00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:17,367 and I want you to shut up, but in this case, very relevant. 287 00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:18,827 Oh, thank you. I have another. 288 00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:20,495 - No, you don't. - No, I don't. 289 00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:26,501 What are y'all doing here? 290 00:10:26,501 --> 00:10:28,461 You didn't think we would give up that easy, did you? 291 00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:29,754 That's exactly what I thought. 292 00:10:29,838 --> 00:10:31,297 I'm genuinely surprised to see you. 293 00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:33,049 Okay. So, you know how your presentation 294 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,342 used those robotablets? 295 00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:35,552 My assistants, yes. 296 00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:37,887 Well, what if we were your assistants? 297 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,931 That way, we can handle all the data and graphs, 298 00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:42,350 and you can handle the showmanship. 299 00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:43,476 I love it! 300 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,186 This is like a group project at school 301 00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:46,980 where I bring the energy, and you guys bring 302 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:49,315 whatever doesn't require a personality. 303 00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:51,401 This is a good idea. 304 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,570 (sighs) 305 00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:55,030 (siren wails in distance) 306 00:10:55,030 --> 00:10:57,240 (digging in soil) 307 00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:03,163 Okay. I know you said that you're okay, 308 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,040 but I can tell that you're not by the way that you're gardening. 309 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,541 I don't know what you're talking about. 310 00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:08,168 Oh! 311 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:10,879 Oh, J-J-Jacob, I'm sorry. 312 00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:12,464 I'm -- I'm -- I'm fine, really. 313 00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,549 - Oh, I'm sorry. - No, I'm good. 314 00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:16,509 Oh. 315 00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:18,803 Tsk. Oh. 316 00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:20,972 I know we need the money. 317 00:11:21,056 --> 00:11:24,184 And I have applied for that Advancement Grant 318 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,811 for 10 years now. 319 00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:29,564 I just don't want to compromise my morals to get it. 320 00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:33,902 Look, while I admire that you've applied 10 years in a row, 321 00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:35,653 have you heard that saying 322 00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:37,906 about the definition of insanity? 323 00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:39,657 Have you ever heard the saying 324 00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:41,534 that I will pop you upside your head 325 00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:43,328 if you imply that I am insane? 326 00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:44,829 - I'm just saying... - (grumbles) 327 00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:46,122 ...you did something you wouldn't normally do 328 00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,832 by starting this garden with me. 329 00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,584 That didn't turn out so bad, huh? 330 00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:54,881 (indistinct conversations in distance) 331 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,010 - Hey. - Thought I was early. 332 00:11:59,094 --> 00:12:00,679 You are. I'm just earlier. (chuckles) 333 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:01,763 Ava here yet? 334 00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:03,640 She's probably somewhere doing power poses. 335 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,100 Actually, it's been a minute. 336 00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:06,476 Let me check and make sure she hasn't bolted. 337 00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:08,103 Mm-hmm. 338 00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:16,444 Gregory Eddie, right? 339 00:12:16,528 --> 00:12:17,570 Yeah. 340 00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:19,239 It's good to see you again. 341 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,908 You know, I'm sorry I couldn't hire you as principal, but... 342 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,743 my hands were tied. 343 00:12:23,827 --> 00:12:25,578 - To the bed? - Pardon? 344 00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:26,746 Nothing. 345 00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:29,749 Look, if you're still interested in being principal, 346 00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:32,544 I think maybe some positions might be opening up, 347 00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:34,004 even at Abbott. 348 00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:36,006 So... 349 00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:38,675 if you're interested... 350 00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:40,593 e-mail me. 351 00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:46,850 - Hey. - Hey. 352 00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:50,979 Look, there's Delisha Sloss -- if anybody cares. 353 00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:52,981 Excuse me. 354 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,318 BARBARA: (sighs) 355 00:12:57,402 --> 00:13:01,239 Okay. So, after Gregory talks math competency, 356 00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:02,615 I'll handle the attendance graph, 357 00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:04,451 and then I'll kick it to you for testing numbers. 358 00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:06,453 So, I'm the grand finale. But what if they want an encore? 359 00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:08,246 That's okay. We'll handle all surprises, 360 00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:09,956 and all you have to do is take care of the lobs. 361 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,083 Oh, perfect! I'll go into a power pose. 362 00:13:12,167 --> 00:13:14,878 And remember, you don't wanna show too much improvement 363 00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:16,296 because then they think we won't need the money. 364 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:17,339 But then, also, you don't want to show 365 00:13:17,339 --> 00:13:18,715 that we haven't gotten any better, 366 00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:20,675 because then they think we're not capable of improvement. 367 00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:22,677 Wow. And this is the job you really want? 368 00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,262 - Sounds gross. - Yeah. 369 00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:26,139 Ah, Principal Coleman. 370 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,141 Superintendent Collins. 371 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,518 I'm really looking forward to showing you our presentation. 372 00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:32,062 W-What do you mean "our"? 373 00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:33,980 I've enlisted two of Abbott's best teachers 374 00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:35,398 to help me with the presentation -- 375 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,150 our shortest and our finest. 376 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,736 (chuckles) No, you're not slick. 377 00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:42,030 You'll be giving today's presentation alone. 378 00:13:43,198 --> 00:13:45,241 (whispers indistinctly) 379 00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:48,578 Uh, oh, my God. What did he just say to you? 380 00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:50,497 That if you don't do well, you're gonna get fired? 381 00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:51,956 Worse. 382 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,792 He mumbled and I didn't hear it. 383 00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:57,504 (toilet flushes) 384 00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,880 (door unlocks) 385 00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:01,383 (sighs) 386 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,094 (clears throat) 387 00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:05,512 - Oh. - Oh. 388 00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:06,930 Mrs. Sloss. 389 00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:08,932 I'm a teacher at Abbott Elementary. 390 00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:10,850 I believe we go to the same church. 391 00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:12,227 Oh, how lovely. 392 00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:13,937 I think I've seen you around. 393 00:14:13,937 --> 00:14:16,856 Of course you've seen Deacon Wiley's new hairstyle. 394 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:20,276 Oh, he's got it dyed, fried, and laid to the side. 395 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:23,113 (chuckles) Yes, it's funny when people look bad. 396 00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:25,740 Um, uh... 397 00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:28,368 Sister Sloss, God is good, is he not? 398 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,620 - He is. - And He knows in our hearts 399 00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:33,331 whether we are good people or not. 400 00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:35,834 I imagine he does. You have a good day, now. 401 00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:37,502 Well, while I have your attention, 402 00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:41,256 you are on the Church Finance Committee, aren't you? 403 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,513 AVA: Our test scores have been good. 404 00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:51,516 But not too good. (chuckles) 405 00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:53,727 And definitely not bad. 406 00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:57,772 Uh, the same goes for our attendance rates. 407 00:14:57,856 --> 00:15:00,608 They have been exactly where they should be 408 00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:04,988 to inspire confidence while also leaving room for improvement. 409 00:15:04,988 --> 00:15:07,198 Any questions? 410 00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:08,700 Never mind. There's no time for questions. 411 00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:11,411 I still have, uh, 13 more slides. 412 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,499 I can't really hear anything. 413 00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:18,209 Okay, get away from the door. Let me try. 414 00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:23,089 Yeah, I can't hear anything, either. 415 00:15:23,173 --> 00:15:24,716 Who's got the biggest ears? 416 00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:29,179 I -- I'm-a just... 417 00:15:29,179 --> 00:15:30,638 I'll get a glass. 418 00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:37,645 When I'm overwhelmed, I get on my phone, too. 419 00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:38,938 I like to read the news. 420 00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,273 You know, seeing something way worse 421 00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:43,401 than what's happening to me really puts things in perspective. 422 00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:45,904 Yeah, I was just sending an e-mail, but... 423 00:15:45,904 --> 00:15:47,530 I can do that later. 424 00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:50,325 By the way, thank you so much for helping. 425 00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:51,868 I know it isn't easy to coach someone 426 00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:53,870 who has the job you should've gotten. 427 00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:56,164 Yeah, well, it's a lot easier to say yes to things 428 00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:58,166 when you're the one asking. 429 00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,168 Oh. Well, in that case, 430 00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:02,128 can I get a burger and a Nintendo Switch? 431 00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:04,297 (both laugh) 432 00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:06,049 (sighs) 433 00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:07,384 How do you think it's going in there? 434 00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:09,969 Oh, I think it's probably going well. 435 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,014 I think it's going w-- 436 00:16:13,098 --> 00:16:14,599 I think it's probably going well. 437 00:16:14,683 --> 00:16:15,934 GREGORY: Hmm. 438 00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:18,144 And that brings me to my last chart... 439 00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,190 What are we looking at here? 440 00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:25,610 Well, there's no words on it, but...it's going up! 441 00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:28,321 (chuckles) That can't be too bad. 442 00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:30,156 Or too good! (chuckles) 443 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,701 Based on what you've shown us so far, 444 00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:35,704 what metrics are your funding targets keyed to? 445 00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:38,123 Thank God you brought that up. 446 00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:41,418 I was like, "I hope he asks about Target and whatnot," 447 00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,169 - 'cause I have another slide -- - You know what? 448 00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:45,672 I thi-- I think we've seen all we need to see here today. 449 00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,132 Thanks for coming in. 450 00:16:47,132 --> 00:16:49,759 - But I -- I -- - Look, that's your time, 451 00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:51,845 not even including the five minutes you took 452 00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:53,471 when you got a paper cut. 453 00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:57,684 Look, I know you all want me to talk 454 00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:00,228 about pie charts and cake graphs, 455 00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:02,564 but that's not the entire story. 456 00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:05,233 Yeah, discretionary funds can be used to nurture students 457 00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:07,610 artistically so they can grow up and do that graffiti 458 00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:09,362 that bougie people don't get mad at. 459 00:17:09,446 --> 00:17:10,947 You mean a mural? 460 00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:12,282 That's it. 461 00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:14,659 But what you don't see is how I make sure 462 00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:17,871 that forgetful students get supplies. 463 00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:20,790 Or how I help students with broke parents 464 00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:24,252 get uniforms that fit so they don't get roasted all day. 465 00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:27,130 Or how I have barrels of lotion stashed all around the school 466 00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:29,674 so these kids don't start a commotion with their crusty ankles. 467 00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:33,636 My unique approach to these funds betters the school. 468 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,848 Yes, we all understand the importance of moisturization, 469 00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:38,475 but your time is up. 470 00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:41,436 - (gasps) - AVA: No. 471 00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:42,645 Y'all not about to rush me out of here 472 00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:44,356 like I'm Lil Mama at the VMAs. 473 00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:45,774 Psst! Hey. It's open. 474 00:17:45,774 --> 00:17:47,400 AVA: Because you know what? 475 00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:50,070 No matter what happens to me, Abbott will be fine. 476 00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:51,654 Because the teachers that work there 477 00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:53,740 are some of the most dedicated, hardworking, 478 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:56,201 and creative teachers in this entire city. 479 00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:58,036 You tell 'em, Ava! 480 00:17:58,036 --> 00:17:59,412 (door slams) 481 00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:01,331 And it's not like y'all been making it rain up in here. 482 00:18:01,331 --> 00:18:02,916 We've been taking appetizer money 483 00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:05,919 and giving these kids a charcuterie experience. 484 00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:08,088 Don't give us the money because we need it. 485 00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:11,424 Give it to us because everyone at Abbott deserves it. 486 00:18:11,508 --> 00:18:13,468 - Hmm. - Hmm. 487 00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:15,512 DENZEL: Well, thank you, Principal Coleman. 488 00:18:15,512 --> 00:18:20,684 Uh, that was a very... passionate plea. 489 00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:23,311 (door opens) 490 00:18:23,395 --> 00:18:24,938 (indistinct conversations in distance) 491 00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:27,440 Well? 492 00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:28,692 Okay, sis! 493 00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:30,235 - I did that! - And that's on what? 494 00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:32,070 - Period! - (laughing) 495 00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:33,446 Okay, what's happening? 496 00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:35,573 I mean, (clears throat) good job, Ava. 497 00:18:35,657 --> 00:18:37,701 Thank you, subordinate. 498 00:18:37,701 --> 00:18:40,161 So, our girl really did a good job, huh? 499 00:18:40,245 --> 00:18:41,579 Surprisingly, yes. 500 00:18:41,663 --> 00:18:42,997 Ooh! So we get the funding we need? 501 00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:44,999 No, of course not. 502 00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:47,460 As long as Ava's at Abbott and I'm the superintendent, 503 00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:48,712 you never will. 504 00:18:48,712 --> 00:18:50,505 She blackmailed me. 505 00:18:50,505 --> 00:18:52,632 It's kind of hard to get over being blackmailed. 506 00:18:52,716 --> 00:18:54,592 You know, he's not wrong. 507 00:18:54,676 --> 00:18:57,095 I haven't spoken to my blackmailer in two years. 508 00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:59,848 Do I miss my sister? Yeah, every day. 509 00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:02,851 Look, if it wasn't your school suffering, it'd just be another. 510 00:19:02,851 --> 00:19:05,937 Don't be mad at me, be mad at the system. 511 00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:11,317 I am mad. I'm really mad. 512 00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:15,196 I'm glad I caught you before you left. 513 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:18,199 I talked to my office, and I have good news. 514 00:19:18,283 --> 00:19:19,701 - Oh, really? - Mm. 515 00:19:19,701 --> 00:19:21,161 Regarding? 516 00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:23,204 Regarding the fact that Abbott will be a recipient 517 00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:25,206 of the Advancement Grant this year. 518 00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:27,792 (gasps) What a surprise. 519 00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:31,212 After 10 years of impeccable applications, 520 00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:33,965 we suddenly find ourselves worthy. 521 00:19:34,049 --> 00:19:35,133 How wonderful. 522 00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:37,635 Yes, it is...wonderful. 523 00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:41,681 Ah. See you in church on Sunday. 524 00:19:41,765 --> 00:19:43,975 And every Sunday after that. 525 00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:46,936 Hmm. 526 00:19:48,605 --> 00:19:50,690 Barbara, this is great! 527 00:19:50,774 --> 00:19:52,150 JACOB: What are we gonna use the grant for? 528 00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:53,360 I mean, which programs go? Which ones stay? 529 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:54,611 This could get very stressful. 530 00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:56,613 Okay, you need to stop thinking about this, 531 00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:58,156 because you're gonna break out in hives. 532 00:19:58,156 --> 00:20:01,659 Because this is a decision for our principal. 533 00:20:04,454 --> 00:20:05,955 Stop looking at me like that. 534 00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:07,874 If anybody hugs me, I'm turning down the grant. 535 00:20:12,921 --> 00:20:14,547 Did you... 536 00:20:14,631 --> 00:20:17,092 Did you shake someone down for me? 537 00:20:17,092 --> 00:20:21,554 I shook someone down for us, ya big gabootz. 538 00:20:21,638 --> 00:20:24,432 Guboonza? Garbanzo. 539 00:20:24,516 --> 00:20:27,769 Yeah, that's a bean, but thank you for trying. 540 00:20:27,769 --> 00:20:30,105 (laughs) 541 00:20:30,105 --> 00:20:31,773 Sometimes you try something new 542 00:20:31,773 --> 00:20:33,566 for the people you care about. 543 00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:36,486 The Lord helps those who help themselves. 544 00:20:36,486 --> 00:20:39,781 And he punishes those who have been helping themselves 545 00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:43,201 to the church's petty cash. 546 00:20:43,201 --> 00:20:45,078 Mnh-mnh-mnh. 547 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:48,039 I saw your little e-mail. 548 00:20:48,123 --> 00:20:49,290 I know. That's why I'm sitting here. 549 00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:51,751 Are you sure you wanna do this? 550 00:20:51,835 --> 00:20:54,254 This job requires you to be cool and level-headed, 551 00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:57,007 and you ain't exactly known for keeping your composure. 552 00:20:57,966 --> 00:20:59,551 I'm sure. 553 00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:01,636 This job means more responsibility. 554 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:04,014 Commitment. Emotional availability. 555 00:21:04,014 --> 00:21:05,640 I understand. 556 00:21:05,724 --> 00:21:07,976 Well, welcome to teaching full-time at Abbott, Mr. Eddie. 557 00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:09,894 Thank you. 558 00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:15,483 What I'm looking forward to the most 559 00:21:15,567 --> 00:21:17,861 is having access to the H.R. department. 560 00:21:24,409 --> 00:21:26,619 What's H.R.? 561 00:21:29,539 --> 00:21:32,667 - Captioned by VITAC --