1
00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:07,549
- Ooh, pretty.
- Oh, thanks.
2
00:00:07,549 --> 00:00:09,342
One of my students gave me
this for some reason and --
3
00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:11,177
Hey,
that's a nice sweater.
4
00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:12,971
Oh.
Thank you, Myles.
5
00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:15,223
Uh, wow.
A compliment,
6
00:00:15,223 --> 00:00:16,933
and it wasn't a set up
for a punchline. (chuckles)
7
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:18,560
I know. I was waiting for,
"Nice sweater.
8
00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,103
Didn't know Bert and Ernie
had a yard sale."
9
00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:23,189
But the kids have actually
been really cool lately.
10
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:25,442
And, like,
excited to learn?
11
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:28,486
Yeah. No, same. No misbehaving.
The grades are up.
12
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:30,864
And I'm getting flowers, apparently.
13
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,824
- Like, are we awake? (laughs)
- You know what?
14
00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:35,910
I think we have finally earned
their enthusiasm and respect.
15
00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:38,288
(scoffs) Well, enthusiasm
I hoped for, but respect?
16
00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:39,748
One can only dream.
17
00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:42,667
Hey, Vick, what's Gucci?
18
00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:45,295
- Ayy!
- And great job on your quiz.
19
00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:46,713
Somebody's been
putting in the work.
20
00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:49,049
Anything for you,
Mr. C!
21
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,842
That was so cute.
22
00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:52,927
Wait.
Who is Mr. C?
23
00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:54,721
I don't know,
but I'm not gonna push it.
24
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,514
I don't want to ruin
what we have by, like,
25
00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:58,308
asking a lot of questions,
right?
26
00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:00,060
AVA:
Oh, there you are, Jacob.
27
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,770
My auntie's dog
needs her sweater back.
28
00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:04,272
(laughs)
29
00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:06,232
Got 'eem.
30
00:01:08,693 --> 00:01:11,571
(Maker's "Hold'em" playing)
31
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:20,080
♪
32
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,874
Great job, guys!
33
00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:24,167
All A's and B's!
34
00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:25,835
We're all superstars
in this class.
35
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,212
- (school bell rings)
- Oh. All right, guys.
36
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:29,297
Quietly and safely.
Quietly and safely.
37
00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:32,300
It's been a long year
with lots of ups and downs,
38
00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:34,386
but it was all worth it
to get here.
39
00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:37,389
Looks like someone finally has
this teaching thing figured out.
40
00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:38,973
Okay.
41
00:01:40,392 --> 00:01:41,810
(chuckles)
42
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,895
Looks like someone forgot
where the floor was.
43
00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:46,398
(chuckles) Let me get some paper
towel and clean that up.
44
00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:51,403
Wait. What...
45
00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:53,446
What the...?
46
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:55,740
Who did this?
47
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:00,495
And I told my neighbor,
I said,
48
00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:02,205
"If you call 311
on a native tree,
49
00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:03,832
they are gonna rip it out
50
00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:07,085
without so much as
even consulting an arborist."
51
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:08,503
And the hilarious thing
about all this --
52
00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:10,213
Nope.
53
00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:13,550
The hilarious things is, the
number for 311 isn't even 311 --
54
00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,552
Jacob, please. Stop.
55
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:18,513
I'm sorry.
It's not you.
56
00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:19,806
Not me.
57
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,808
"Jacob, stop" could have meant,
like, any Jacob.
58
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:25,270
It's just, I had the whole,
um, principal job
59
00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:27,105
as my only goal
for awhile,
60
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:29,232
and finding out that that's
not happening anytime soon
61
00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:30,817
has got me
thinking about a lot.
62
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,485
No. I get it.
63
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:34,029
Yeah, not in the mood
for a story.
64
00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:35,780
Got it.
65
00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:38,575
Hey. You guys want to
hear something weird?
66
00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:39,868
Janine,
read the room.
67
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:42,287
We are not
in the mood for that.
68
00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:43,329
Okay, well,
then I won't tell you
69
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:44,664
I found shoe prints
on my desks.
70
00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:45,874
Wait, no.
71
00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:48,376
You found shoe prints
on your desks?
72
00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:49,836
Yeah.
That's weird, right?
73
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,504
- Yeah.
- Wait, hold up.
74
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,465
I found some shoe prints
on my desks, too.
75
00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,133
I paid it dust.
76
00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:57,093
It's not the weirdest thing
I've found on my desks.
77
00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:58,345
Yeah.
I found some, too.
78
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:00,055
I thought
I was going crazy.
79
00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:01,389
Wait, so other people have
found shoe prints
80
00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:02,432
- in their classrooms?
- Yeah.
81
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:03,933
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
82
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:06,061
Well, nothing's going on
in my classroom.
83
00:03:06,061 --> 00:03:08,229
My desks are as clean
as a whistle.
84
00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:09,481
So, wait, if this is
happening to everybody
85
00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:11,191
except Barbara,
then what's going on?
86
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,068
- It's weird.
- I mean, no idea.
87
00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:15,570
I know what's going on,
and it's bad.
88
00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:18,782
In fact, I've been praying that
it wouldn't breach our walls.
89
00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:20,784
- Ghosts.
- It's called desking.
90
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:21,951
It's a new online challenge
91
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:24,079
where kids jump from
desktop to desktop.
92
00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:27,415
Heard about it last week
through the custodial network.
93
00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:28,792
Mm.
94
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:32,796
(children shouting)
95
00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:34,255
These videos
are everywhere.
96
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,883
Mr. Ronson over at
West Adams Elementary
97
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:38,802
said he's been
cleaning desks for weeks.
98
00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:40,512
- Ohh.
- Oh, geez.
99
00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:42,305
STUDENT: Go! Go! Go!
You got this!
100
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:44,015
Oh, my God!
There's hundreds of these!
101
00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:45,433
This is horrible!
102
00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:47,310
This can't be what's happening
here, though, right?
103
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,521
I mean, our kids respect us
too much.
104
00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:51,648
(laughs)
105
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:53,566
Someone could
really get hurt here.
106
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:54,984
I've already been hurt.
107
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,319
I know about every
Internet trend.
108
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:57,946
How did I not
find out about this?
109
00:03:57,946 --> 00:04:00,156
(sighs) We need to
get to the bottom of this.
110
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,492
You know what? I bet you
I can get a shoe print.
111
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,993
Did you clean
your desks off yet?
112
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,954
- No.
- Nasty.
113
00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:08,248
Okay, does anybody
know shoes?
114
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:13,253
My boyfriend, Zach,
is a total sneaker-head.
115
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,088
He -- He loves shoes
more than anything.
116
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:18,174
Well, except ya boy.
(chuckles)
117
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:20,051
That's me. I'm "ya boy."
118
00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:23,388
Okay. It doesn't look like
anything I can find online.
119
00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:25,265
When's your
shoe guy get here?
120
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,225
Uh, he is
on his way.
121
00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:29,060
So this Zach,
he lives with you?
122
00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:30,895
Yeah. He just moved in
last month.
123
00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:32,313
And that's going well?
124
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:34,232
Yep.
He's so great.
125
00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:37,736
So he knew you
and was like...more?
126
00:04:39,195 --> 00:04:41,489
Well, I think he sounds like
a really neat guy, right?
127
00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:43,408
- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
- Sure. Yeah.
128
00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:46,119
- Heyyy. There's my guy.
- Black?!
129
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,747
It's actually pronounced "Zach."
You must be Ava.
130
00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:50,915
You were
all thinking it.
131
00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:52,083
I see you.
Don't look at me like that.
132
00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:53,835
We always look at you
like this.
133
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:55,253
It's very nice to
meet you, Zach.
134
00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:57,756
(chuckles) Well, if it isn't
my pizza crust queen.
135
00:04:57,756 --> 00:04:58,798
(both laugh)
136
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:02,844
We went out to eat last week
and I ate all his pizza crust.
137
00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:04,012
I don't like to waste food.
138
00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:05,513
Wait, is this
our desker?
139
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:06,598
Yes.
140
00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:07,932
Huh.
141
00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:10,143
Huh? What -- What do you
mean by "huh"?
142
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,269
It looked smaller
in the pic.
143
00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:13,480
This is way too big
to be a second grader.
144
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,899
- They laughing in our faces.
- Mm-hmm.
145
00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:17,984
If this was
a small adult sneaker,
146
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:21,404
it increases the make and model
options significantly.
147
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,199
He's so smart.
(chuckles)
148
00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:26,659
We came in 3rd at trivia night
last week over at Oscar's.
149
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:27,702
You know,
down by Rittenhouse.
150
00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:29,245
We were eliminated
on a technicality,
151
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,622
but Sri Lanka,
if you didn't know --
152
00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:32,832
Honey, where is
this story going?
153
00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:35,043
Are we focusing on
the task at hand?
154
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:37,754
Mnh. No, we're not.
I'm so sorry. Please continue.
155
00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:40,715
Did he just stop Jacob
from being...himself?
156
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:42,967
Can we put him in glass
and break in case of emergency?
157
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,636
All right,
let's get to work.
158
00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:47,013
They say the first 48 hours
are the most important.
159
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:48,556
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on.
160
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,850
Are those the black and grey
asymmetric midsoles?
161
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:55,146
I decided to be adventurous
and wear sneakers today.
162
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:56,356
Sick.
163
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,982
(snaps fingers)
164
00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,693
- All right.
- Okay. Thank you.
165
00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:03,029
- I like him.
- Mm.
166
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,614
Still don't know
how he lives with Jacob.
167
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,825
You think his neck gets tired
from all the nodding?
168
00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:08,785
Mm-hmm.
169
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,203
(school bell rings)
170
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,539
Just got an e-mail from Zach.
Subject: "You're welcome."
171
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:13,790
- Ooh.
- Oh.
172
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:15,917
Oh, we about to bust
this case wide open.
173
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:17,627
Uh...okay.
174
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:20,630
He says that while he initially
leaned Jordan 5s,
175
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:21,840
the faint line at
the mid-arch
176
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,384
indicates a swoosh
and not the Jumpman logo --
177
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,677
Okay.
Scroll. Scroll.
178
00:06:25,677 --> 00:06:28,054
- Is there a picture?
- Yeah.
179
00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:29,889
- Oh.
- Ooh.
180
00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:31,099
Okay, well,
this is great.
181
00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:32,642
All we have to do is
look at the kids' feet,
182
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,853
which is something I would say
we normally wouldn't do, but...
183
00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:36,312
No. We don't.
184
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,981
'Cause I've only seen those
on two kids --
185
00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:39,524
Brianna and Stefon.
186
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:41,651
Yeah, but let's not rush out
and make accusations.
187
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,820
AVA:
I'm coming for you!
188
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:50,535
Okay, let's split 'em up
and make 'em sing.
189
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,704
Two of you take Stefon,
the other two take Brianna.
190
00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:54,372
Right.
Good cop, bad cop.
191
00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:56,458
You know, it's interesting that
they say "good cop, bad cop,"
192
00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:58,585
because policing in
this country is so broken,
193
00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,378
it's really just
"bad cop, bad cop."
194
00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:02,756
- Janine, you're with him.
- Got it.
195
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,883
Look, Stefon,
I get it.
196
00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:06,760
I was a kid once.
197
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,762
But you and I both know
this is gonna end,
198
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,347
and when it does,
you don't wanna be the one
199
00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:11,598
left holding the bag.
200
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:13,058
'Cause that's exactly
what's gonna happen
201
00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:16,061
when your friend over there
starts talking.
202
00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:17,103
I bet she ratting you out
right now
203
00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:18,396
like a little
Fredo Corleone.
204
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,607
So I would talk
if I were you.
205
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,150
'Cause you don't want me
sending you over to
206
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:23,943
Ms. Teagues
and Mr. Hill.
207
00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:26,738
I don't think you'd like
what's going on in that room.
208
00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:31,368
Look, sometimes, sometimes,
the right thing is fun.
209
00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:32,494
(chuckles)
210
00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:34,704
So why don't you tell us
who started this
211
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,664
and who's doing it?
212
00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:38,249
You know,
doesn't that sound fun?
213
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,169
Okay, kid.
214
00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:43,797
First one to talk,
first one to walk.
215
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,340
How'd those shoes
get on that desk?
216
00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:47,759
- Name names!
- Yeah, name names.
217
00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:49,552
TikTok, Twitch,
Discord?
218
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:50,845
Just tell me where
they setting them trends
219
00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:52,347
- and you can leave.
- Yeah.
220
00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:53,932
No. We got to
get a confession.
221
00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:55,975
Squeal, and you can
Dipset like Cam'ron.
222
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,314
You know what?
One second.
223
00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:04,275
(quietly) Okay.
She's not talking.
224
00:08:04,359 --> 00:08:06,236
Okay. Uh, let me
try something, okay?
225
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:07,904
Um...
(chuckles)
226
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:10,407
You look
a little thirsty.
227
00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,659
Oh,
look what I found.
228
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:15,578
A nice, cold,
refreshing juice.
229
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:16,788
I bet you'd like
some juice.
230
00:08:16,788 --> 00:08:19,082
- I'm fine.
- Oh, okay.
231
00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:21,710
'Cause me?
I'm thirsty.
232
00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:28,008
(quietly)
I can't get it in.
233
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,759
You -- You have
to twist it.
234
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,970
Yeah. No. I can --
I can do it myself.
235
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:34,431
Ah.
236
00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:36,349
Oh.
237
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,270
I'm sorry, you tired?
238
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:41,855
Want some coffee?
239
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:43,982
'Cause I can do this
all day, kid.
240
00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:46,484
I got all the time
in the world.
241
00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:47,944
No, we don't.
242
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,113
Tell me who started this
viral sensation,
243
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:51,406
or I swear to God...
244
00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:53,783
- Boy, if you test me.
- Okay, Ava, let's go outside.
245
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,702
- Don't you play with me, boy.
- Now, Ava.
246
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:59,456
Can't believe
neither of them talked.
247
00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:00,582
I'm actually
sort of proud.
248
00:09:00,582 --> 00:09:03,376
All right, let 'em out.
249
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,086
All right, let's go.
250
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,716
We're gonna figure this out,
you guys.
251
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,301
Yeah.
Somebody's gonna slip up.
252
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:12,719
It's out of your control, oldhead.
253
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:15,138
Abbott's gonna be number one
in this challenge.
254
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:17,766
Wait. You're trying to be
number one in all of Philly?
255
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:21,144
- In all of the United States.
- Of America.
256
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:22,896
It's bigger than
you can imagine.
257
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,647
Bigger than me.
Bigger than you.
258
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,524
You'll never stop this.
259
00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:28,234
- Okay. Get back to class.
- Yeah.
260
00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:29,486
No problem.
261
00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:30,820
(whispering)
That's where the desks are.
262
00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:35,867
Okay, since none
of the kids are talking,
263
00:09:35,867 --> 00:09:37,952
we gotta catch
one of them in the act.
264
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:41,289
Then we flip that kid,
follow it up to the top.
265
00:09:41,373 --> 00:09:42,791
Who wants to go fishing?
266
00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:44,209
Okay.
267
00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:46,461
Well, nobody is jumping up
on my desks,
268
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:49,381
so this is feeling like
y'all's problem.
269
00:09:49,381 --> 00:09:51,466
I could do a 21 Jump Street
kind of thing.
270
00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:53,551
If I put on the right hat,
I could pull off 13.
271
00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:55,011
I don't think so.
(chuckles)
272
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,304
How about we get you
some platform shoes
273
00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:57,889
- and you can pull off 12.
- Okay.
274
00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,474
I can catch one of 'em.
275
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,685
Haven't done this kind of
fishing in a minute.
276
00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:03,353
Let's go.
277
00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:05,313
I didn't volunteer.
278
00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:07,732
A stakeout needs two people.
Think, boy.
279
00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:09,234
Who's gonna watch
all the crime stuff
280
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:10,944
while the other one
eats a hoagie?
281
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:13,405
- I...
- (door opens)
282
00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:14,531
We're going about this
all wrong.
283
00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:15,907
You know,
you don't build a dam
284
00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:17,409
in the middle of
a rushing river.
285
00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:19,619
You build it
before the water comes.
286
00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:20,662
That is so wise.
287
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:22,080
What the hell are you
talking about?
288
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,541
If we talk to the younger kids
about the dangers of desking
289
00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:26,292
and how it actually
isn't cool beans,
290
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:28,461
then we stop the desking
before the flood.
291
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:29,921
And I think
they'll listen to us,
292
00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:33,133
because they don't look at us
as teachers and students.
293
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:36,344
We've built bonds this year
that are deeper than that.
294
00:10:36,428 --> 00:10:37,846
- Oh, please.
- That's not gonna work.
295
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:40,181
- I think that's a great idea.
- Not in a million years. Okay,
296
00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:42,058
- we get a kid to rat, okay?
- BARBARA: Uh-huh.
297
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:46,062
I FaceTimed
my own iPad from my phone
298
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,023
and left my phone
in Janine's room
299
00:10:48,023 --> 00:10:50,275
- so we could survey the scene.
- Ah.
300
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:52,318
This ain't my first rodeo, hombre.
301
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:55,655
(chuckles)
I've staken out before.
302
00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:56,823
You stake out
other classrooms?
303
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,908
No, you creep.
304
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:01,119
I did private investigator
work back in the day.
305
00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:03,204
You were a private investigator
before a custodian?
306
00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:05,999
No, before I worked
at the rodeo.
307
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,042
Oh. Sorry.
308
00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:08,877
I just -- I thought that,
you know...
309
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:11,004
What, that I've been a custodian
my whole life?
310
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,505
No, man.
311
00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:13,923
I worked
as a pipe fitter,
312
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:16,509
a minor league baseball
bunting coach,
313
00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:20,597
a tastefully nude model,
sold RVs for summer.
314
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:23,058
Might find a new path
after this.
315
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,644
Wait, you never dreamed of
just doing one thing?
316
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:28,438
Sure, I have.
317
00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:30,106
But a dream can be
a distraction
318
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,108
just as easy as
it can be a goal.
319
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,405
We got movement!
320
00:11:37,489 --> 00:11:39,616
Show yourself, coward!
321
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:42,285
Aw, man, it's just
Janine and Jacob.
322
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:43,870
Let's go.
323
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:46,289
No one's gonna go desking
with teachers in the room.
324
00:11:49,084 --> 00:11:51,586
JANINE: All right!
325
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,423
Interesting.
326
00:11:55,507 --> 00:12:00,804
So, we have gathered you here
today, dearly B-students...
327
00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:02,639
(chuckles) Get it?
328
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:04,474
Okay. Keep going.
We knew it was 50/50.
329
00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:07,852
Yeah. We are here today
to talk about desking.
330
00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:09,646
What's desking?
331
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:10,980
Ah, good question.
332
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:14,651
Desking is getting from one side
of the classroom to the other
333
00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:16,653
by hopping on
the tops of desks.
334
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:18,154
I never heard of it.
335
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:19,447
I wanna do it!
336
00:12:19,531 --> 00:12:20,907
Is she
messing with you,
337
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,367
or are we just teaching
more kids what it is?
338
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,493
No, no, no, no.
339
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:26,621
Look,
is desking cool beans?
340
00:12:26,705 --> 00:12:28,665
Sure, it is. Right?
341
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,083
But me
and my dawg here...
342
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,334
(barks)
343
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:32,669
...are not here to
lie to you
344
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:35,255
and pretend that desking
isn't cool.
345
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:38,675
But guess what's
maybe even more cool?
346
00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:40,552
Huh?
347
00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:43,263
(cheers and applause)
348
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:46,016
Okay!
Are you hearing this?
349
00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:51,354
- Teamwork!
- Teamwork!
350
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:54,858
(cheers and applause)
351
00:12:54,858 --> 00:12:57,736
- It went great!
- It really did.
352
00:12:57,736 --> 00:12:58,778
I mean, I'm surprised,
353
00:12:58,862 --> 00:12:59,988
- but also not surprised.
- (cellphone rings)
354
00:12:59,988 --> 00:13:01,990
- The kids were so invested --
- Hello.
355
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:04,159
Hey, I'm sending you a video
that you need to watch.
356
00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:06,411
Wait, wait. Why are you
FaceTiming me? I'm at work.
357
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:07,495
'Cause I want to be
referenced in the story
358
00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:08,705
when you tell it later.
359
00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:11,291
- -
- Love you, bye!
- Uh...
360
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,960
Oh, my God. Zach has been
so great during all of this.
361
00:13:14,044 --> 00:13:16,004
I know. He can get
a little obsessive, but...
362
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:18,298
- Well, so can you.
- Me? No.
363
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,592
No, Zach calls me
"lovingly over-passionate."
364
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:23,094
You know what?
That's wonderful.
365
00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:25,930
Oh, my God, it's a video
of you and me from just now.
366
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:27,098
Oh! Oh, my God.
367
00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:28,516
Like two minutes ago?
That's so cool.
368
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,227
The kids are already
spreading our message!
369
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,480
(cheers and applause)
370
00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:41,488
Yep, there they are,
spreading your message.
371
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,740
AVA: Aw, man. Why am I not
getting these videos?
372
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,033
I've done everything
I possibly can
373
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:46,409
to make my phone think
I'm 22.
374
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,578
I haven't used
capital letters in years.
375
00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:50,080
My God. I cannot believe
they betrayed our trust.
376
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,581
Okay, all right,
we need -- we need to just
377
00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:53,041
make sure that this is
an isolated incident and --
378
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:54,334
- (door opens)
- Yeah.
379
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:57,379
Sweet baby Jesus,
and the grown one, too!
380
00:13:57,379 --> 00:13:59,297
My desks
have been desked!
381
00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:01,049
- They got you?
- Mm-hmm.
382
00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:02,550
Oh, this is bad.
383
00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:03,968
- Mnh!
- Their fault.
384
00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:05,303
They went on a desking
promotional tour.
385
00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:08,014
- No, uh --
- What have you done?
386
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,810
- All right.
- Guys?
387
00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:15,689
They have
made fools of us.
388
00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:16,898
I really thought that
they looked at us
389
00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:19,275
as more than just teachers
but, like, friends.
390
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:21,236
Maybe
that's the problem.
391
00:14:21,236 --> 00:14:22,904
They like us so much,
392
00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:24,698
they've forgotten that
we're authority figures.
393
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:27,117
Whoa.
394
00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:29,202
We're actually
too cool for school.
395
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,121
Mm-hmm. And now this thing
is spreading everywhere.
396
00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:32,956
- We are losing control.
- We're out of moves.
397
00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:34,708
You lose Barbara,
you lose the war.
398
00:14:38,003 --> 00:14:39,629
We might have
one move left.
399
00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:41,089
We can tell
the school district.
400
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,799
This is happening
all over the city.
401
00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:44,426
- Of Philadelphia.
- Yeah.
402
00:14:44,426 --> 00:14:46,302
So they will bring
that hammer down
403
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:47,721
and put an end
to all this.
404
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:48,972
(inhales sharply)
405
00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:50,765
Do we really want to
become narcs?
406
00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:54,519
I prefer "heroes."
407
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,313
- So they were receptive?
- Oh, very receptive.
408
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:58,356
They don't want to be sued
409
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,025
if some kid slips
and falls on a desk.
410
00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:02,652
Hey, Ally,
what -- what are you doing?
411
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:03,695
You ain't hear?
412
00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:05,530
The school district's making us
take all our desks
413
00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:08,324
- out of our classrooms.
- AVA: Somebody snitched.
414
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,952
Told the school district that we
have some dangerous viral trend
415
00:15:11,036 --> 00:15:13,413
that could leave the city
at risk for "legal culpability."
416
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,832
All because I wasn't trying to
solve the problem at all.
417
00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:18,126
What idiot thought the school
district was gonna help?
418
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,962
Huh. What -- Yeah, what
well-intentioned idiot?
419
00:15:21,046 --> 00:15:22,172
Get all your desks to the gym
420
00:15:22,172 --> 00:15:23,548
until this whole thing
blows over
421
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:25,091
or there's some new trend
that I don't hear about
422
00:15:25,175 --> 00:15:27,927
because life is a joke, people.
423
00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:29,137
Come on. Hurry up.
424
00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:30,764
Who knows when those kids'll
start arriving.
425
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,432
They get here at 7:30.
426
00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:36,061
Every day? That's wild.
427
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,565
Janine, how many times
is tattling
428
00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:43,234
gonna bite you in the culo
before you quit being a narc?
429
00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:46,654
Mm. I am too old to be doing
all of this.
430
00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:48,990
At least you guys are on
the same floor as the gym.
431
00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:54,245
Look, guys, I know this is
a minor inconvenience,
432
00:15:54,329 --> 00:15:55,538
but at least
we stopped desking.
433
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:58,917
- Right? Yay!
- Mm.
434
00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:01,795
Or we've created the greatest
desking arena ever known to man.
435
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,218
What fresh hell
is this?
436
00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:10,553
Oh, Janine.
437
00:16:13,431 --> 00:16:15,308
It's like desking
Six Flags!
438
00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:18,728
We are just leading the children
into temptation, like Satan.
439
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:19,771
Mm-hmm.
440
00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:22,524
Is it that bad?
441
00:16:22,524 --> 00:16:24,734
I think if I was a young person
who was interested in desking,
442
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:27,487
it might, you know,
call to me.
443
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,364
Relax, y'all. I've been
refreshing all my feeds,
444
00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:30,407
and we're in the clear.
445
00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:31,825
There's no way the kids
know about this.
446
00:16:31,825 --> 00:16:34,077
You sure about that?
447
00:16:34,077 --> 00:16:36,454
(electronic voice)
By the end of the week,
448
00:16:36,538 --> 00:16:40,291
I will desk
the Abbott Elementary Gym.
449
00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:41,418
(door squeaks open)
450
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,294
- Oh, nooooo.
- No!
451
00:16:43,378 --> 00:16:45,797
Okay, look.
No, no, no. No.
452
00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:47,549
Don't worry, don't worry,
because we'll just take turns
453
00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:49,175
- guarding the entrance.
- No!
454
00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:51,011
Why is my Internet not
sending me anything cool?
455
00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:54,055
I should have gotten that video
before Mr. Johnson.
456
00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:55,098
No offense, boo.
(chuckles)
457
00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:56,766
It is not your phone, Ava.
458
00:16:56,850 --> 00:17:00,020
You are not one of them.
You are not a Jojo Sea-bass.
459
00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:02,188
You mean JoJo Siwa?
460
00:17:02,272 --> 00:17:03,440
I don't know what I mean, Janine.
461
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:04,899
That's the point.
462
00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:07,110
But I do know that you all
need to stop pretending
463
00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:09,112
like you can relate to
these children.
464
00:17:09,112 --> 00:17:12,407
Because when you do,
it just seems sad, desperate,
465
00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:13,825
and embarrassing.
466
00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:15,952
Mm.
467
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:18,580
You heard Barbara.
Y'all are embarrassing.
468
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:27,255
I know your plan.
Move it along.
469
00:17:27,339 --> 00:17:30,300
That face don't work
on me.
470
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:34,846
Need a partner
for this shift?
471
00:17:34,846 --> 00:17:36,598
Oh, no. I'm good.
472
00:17:36,598 --> 00:17:39,267
Just need two men for
a stakeout and a foot chase.
473
00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:41,936
Right.
474
00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:43,938
All right,
what do you want?
475
00:17:44,022 --> 00:17:45,315
You remember what you were
talking about?
476
00:17:45,315 --> 00:17:47,108
- Nope.
- (chuckles)
477
00:17:47,192 --> 00:17:49,152
About having
a lot of jobs.
478
00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:51,905
You ever have an experience
where you wanted a different job
479
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,448
than the one
you were at?
480
00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:55,533
You liked the one
that you were at,
481
00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:58,661
but since it's not the one
that you thought you wanted,
482
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:00,330
you're
a little conflicted?
483
00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:02,582
If you think
I'm some sort of Black Yoda...
484
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:06,002
Hmm, then correct you
would be, Padawan.
485
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:08,755
You got to be open
for what life brings you.
486
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:10,840
If I'd kept aiming for
that one job
487
00:18:10,924 --> 00:18:12,967
I wanted so much
when I was your age,
488
00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:17,013
you'd be looking at a very
unfulfilled operations manager
489
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:19,849
at
Uncle Bradley's Baked Beans.
490
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:21,518
Damn,
I wanted that job.
491
00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:23,186
Must have had some
good benefits.
492
00:18:23,186 --> 00:18:24,896
And a ladder
straight to the top.
493
00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:26,690
- Yeah.
- But, hey,
494
00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:28,858
without that rejection,
495
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:31,486
I never would have found out
the stuff that I love.
496
00:18:31,486 --> 00:18:34,322
Yeah, man. I really
wanted to be principal.
497
00:18:34,406 --> 00:18:36,199
(chuckles)
498
00:18:36,199 --> 00:18:38,868
Then it didn't happen and...
499
00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:41,037
and now I think
I'm mad.
500
00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:43,707
You got plenty of time,
youngin'.
501
00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:45,208
JANINE:
Attentions, please!
502
00:18:45,208 --> 00:18:47,127
(chuckles)
503
00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:50,547
I really felt like I was
bonding with these kids
504
00:18:50,547 --> 00:18:52,549
and that they liked me,
505
00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:55,218
and as much as I felt that,
506
00:18:55,218 --> 00:18:58,930
and as much as Ava
wants to be cool,
507
00:18:59,014 --> 00:19:00,890
Barbara was right.
508
00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:03,309
Kids will always
think teachers are lame.
509
00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:08,023
Can't fight that,
but we can use it.
510
00:19:08,023 --> 00:19:12,235
Once I do this
and those kids see it,
511
00:19:12,235 --> 00:19:15,155
desking will be corny
and over.
512
00:19:16,281 --> 00:19:17,824
Jacob, we rolling?
513
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,784
- (rhythmic clapping)
- MELISSA: Kill it!
514
00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:21,244
You got this, Janine.
515
00:19:21,244 --> 00:19:22,996
- Whoo! (whistles)
- Don't -- Don't say that.
516
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,539
- I don't believe that she does.
- No. She's got it.
517
00:19:24,539 --> 00:19:26,416
- She's not very coordinated.
- She's gonna kill it.
518
00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:27,459
- Oh!
- (thud)
519
00:19:27,459 --> 00:19:29,502
- God.
- And she's down.
520
00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:31,921
Oh. Oh. I'm okay. No.
Ow. I'm okay.
521
00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:34,507
Ow. No, no, no.
I can still do this.
522
00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:37,052
You know, this is
my Kerri Strug moment.
523
00:19:37,052 --> 00:19:38,762
No, it's your "stay down and
let me get you some ice" moment.
524
00:19:38,762 --> 00:19:40,221
Okay?
Y-Your ankle's blowing up.
525
00:19:40,305 --> 00:19:42,474
You're not gonna be walking,
let alone desking.
526
00:19:42,474 --> 00:19:43,683
But someone has to do this.
527
00:19:43,767 --> 00:19:45,852
Someone the kids will think
is really lame.
528
00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:53,234
- You got this, Jacob.
- Yes.
529
00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:54,694
Come on, man.
530
00:19:54,778 --> 00:19:56,905
Hey.
I got your sneakers.
531
00:19:56,905 --> 00:19:59,074
I've been begging him
to wear these.
532
00:19:59,074 --> 00:20:00,367
These are
the Honeydews.
533
00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:02,827
Now, some people think that
this color is sea glass,
534
00:20:02,911 --> 00:20:04,371
but that's completely ignoring
the history of the entire --
535
00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:06,081
Babe, babe,
task at hand.
536
00:20:06,081 --> 00:20:07,957
Ah. You're right.
I'm doing it again.
537
00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:11,461
Anyways, the point is these were
built for comfort and speed.
538
00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:13,713
Also,
I brought your shorts.
539
00:20:13,797 --> 00:20:15,674
Oh, thanks, babe.
540
00:20:15,674 --> 00:20:18,301
So, just out of curiosity,
how'd you guys meet?
541
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:20,553
Ohh, I was in a late night
line for sneakers,
542
00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:23,431
and he was there protesting
the inhumane work conditions
543
00:20:23,515 --> 00:20:24,974
of the place making
the sneakers.
544
00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:29,104
I got the limited edition
- Smokey-
- Foams and a man that day.
545
00:20:29,104 --> 00:20:31,314
Oh.
I get it now.
546
00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:33,650
I forget that Black people
can also be annoying.
547
00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:36,069
- What'd you say?
- (chuckles)
548
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:37,320
(indistinct conversations)
549
00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:39,864
Hey,
what's everyone watching?
550
00:20:39,948 --> 00:20:41,908
Yo, some white boul
desked the gym!
551
00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:43,576
- -
- Check it!
- STUDENT: Whoa!
552
00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:45,662
He's wearing
the Honeydew suedes.
553
00:20:45,662 --> 00:20:47,122
(breathing heavily)
554
00:20:47,122 --> 00:20:50,166
Abbott Ultimate Desking Challenge.
555
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:52,752
Done! Teacher style.
556
00:20:52,836 --> 00:20:54,087
- Whoa, what the --
- -
- Whew!
557
00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:56,339
Is that Mr. C?
558
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:59,050
Desking's deaded.
559
00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:06,933
I can't believe
the video worked.
560
00:21:07,017 --> 00:21:09,602
Yeah. Those kids
do not want to be us.
561
00:21:09,686 --> 00:21:11,479
You know, the fact that
we are doing this well
562
00:21:11,563 --> 00:21:14,607
without clout propping us up
is some good old-fashioned
563
00:21:14,691 --> 00:21:16,484
being-pretty-darn-good-
at-our-jobs.
564
00:21:16,568 --> 00:21:17,819
Yeah. You're right.
565
00:21:17,819 --> 00:21:19,612
But imagine
what it'll be like
566
00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:22,782
when we actually do get them
to think we're cool.
567
00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:33,251
- Captioned by VITAC --