1 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:06,297 ♪ Why you tryin' to gangbang, little boy? ♪ 2 00:00:06,381 --> 00:00:07,716 You playground age ♪ 3 00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:09,384 ♪ Instead of tryin' to set-claim ♪ 4 00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:12,012 You need to get on the swang ♪ 5 00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,096 Yeah. Jake, how you like that, man? 6 00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:15,432 Tell me how dope that was. 7 00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,267 Uh, incredibly dope? 8 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:18,810 Ooh, you heard him! 9 00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:20,937 I carpool with Janine occasionally 10 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,106 to reduce my carbon footprint, 11 00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:26,776 and Tariq is there sometimes when he needs to use the car, 12 00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,863 which is...all the time. 13 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,656 Yeah, yeah, no, I'm gonna have to run it back for you. 14 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,408 It takes a couple times to get the wordplay. 15 00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:34,826 - Mm-hmm. - Yo, you spit, too? 16 00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:36,494 - Rap with me, Jake. - Oh, no. 17 00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:39,330 That could potentially be very undope. 18 00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:41,541 Baby, his name is Jacob. Jacob. 19 00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:43,334 Yeah, some people forget the "ob." 20 00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:44,335 (chuckles) 21 00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:47,672 Is -- Is that what you're gonna be performing later today? 22 00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:49,674 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I got way more, too. 23 00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:51,885 The show is about to be lit, to be honest, man. 24 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,470 The after-party gonna be stupid. 25 00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:54,512 Oh, no. 26 00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:57,682 It is an anti-drug and gang-violence presentation 27 00:00:57,766 --> 00:00:58,683 for children. 28 00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,518 So no after-party. 29 00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:03,146 Tariq's gonna be performing some of his songs later today 30 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:06,816 at Abbott for F.A.D.E., Friends Against Drug Exposure. 31 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,819 Yeah, he got the gig totally on his own. 32 00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:12,405 I mean, I reached out to the organization, 33 00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:15,116 and Tariq said, "Sure." 34 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,451 Oh, baby, I was thinking. 35 00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:17,869 You've been working way too much lately. 36 00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:19,371 We need to go travel somewhere. 37 00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:20,997 We got that F.A.D.E. money now, girl. 38 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:21,998 (laughs) 39 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,750 Oh, well, I've always wanted to go to Paris. 40 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,251 Ooh, ooh, Paris! 41 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:27,045 Or, uh, uh, Coney Island. 42 00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:28,046 - Oh. - We could go out there. 43 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:29,381 I could get my Joe Chestnut on, 44 00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:31,049 you know, chow down on some Nathan's. 45 00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:33,176 You know, om nom nom nom nom. 46 00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:34,511 Yes, yes, yes. 47 00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:38,723 But also maybe focus on the performance today. 48 00:01:38,807 --> 00:01:40,392 - You right. You right. - Yeah. 49 00:01:40,392 --> 00:01:42,435 - We could do that, too. - GPS VOICE: Turn left. 50 00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:44,896 Ooh. She gonna make a left turn ♪ 51 00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:47,357 ♪ I be preachin' from the lectern ♪ 52 00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:49,234 ♪ Lyrics so hot, it'll give you heartburn ♪ 53 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:50,610 Oh, my God! 54 00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:52,696 My lyrics don't stop, Jake. Pay attention. 55 00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:54,739 You're on the ground floor of something incredible. 56 00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:58,118 Yeah, it definitely feels like...the ground floor. 57 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:01,121 (Maker's "Hold'em" playing) 58 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:10,505 ♪ 59 00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:13,091 You know, a lot of people are slow to warm to Tariq, 60 00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:15,593 but you guys get along so well. 61 00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,721 Maybe you should come out and get pizza with us this weekend. 62 00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:20,890 Oh, I can't. I'm busy on Saturday. 63 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,934 I didn't even say a date yet. 64 00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:24,686 W-- Oh, I see what's happening. 65 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,062 You don't want to be the third wheel. 66 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,564 - No. - No. Don't worry. 67 00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:29,691 I actually know a great guy I want to set you up with. 68 00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,443 Uh, thanks, but I don't know how my boyfriend 69 00:02:31,443 --> 00:02:33,194 would feel about that. 70 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,531 Your what? 71 00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:38,283 My boyfriend. 72 00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:40,618 You have a boyfriend? 73 00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:43,121 - What's his name? - Uh, Zach. 74 00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:44,706 Zach? 75 00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:46,833 And how long have you two been dating? 76 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:50,253 Like a year, plus another year. 77 00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,881 Jacob, how did I not know any of this? 78 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:54,424 You've never mentioned him. 79 00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:56,843 Well, actually, I guess I just answered my own question. 80 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:59,554 I thought you knew. I mean, I could've swore I told you. 81 00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:02,182 My friends say I won't shut up about him. 82 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,725 Your friends? 83 00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:05,352 I thought we were friends. 84 00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:09,230 We are. Yeah, we're friends. We're just, you know... 85 00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:11,191 "You know" what? 86 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,401 W-Work friends. 87 00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:15,487 We don't talk about real deep stuff. 88 00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:18,031 You told me when you got a tapeworm in Zimbabwe. 89 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,200 Um, um, yeah, I was -- I was trying to be helpful, 90 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,577 in case you ever go to Africa. 91 00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:24,829 Look, work friends are still friends. 92 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:28,124 They're just, like, friends in one place. 93 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,418 Well, I thought we were friends in all places. 94 00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:32,671 We are -- We are friends in other places, actually. 95 00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:35,507 You know, just today we were -- we were friends together, 96 00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:37,592 you know, from my apartment to the school... 97 00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:39,427 - (school bell rings) - ...where -- where we work, 98 00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:41,262 as friends. 99 00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:45,058 Um... 100 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:48,353 I can't believe Jacob didn't tell me about Zach. 101 00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:50,271 I mean, I have so many questions, okay? 102 00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:52,691 Is he tall? Is he a cat person or a dog person? 103 00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:55,026 Is Zach spelled with a "ck" or a "ch" 104 00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:58,113 or, what I find to be the most exotic spelling, just a "c"? 105 00:03:58,113 --> 00:04:00,365 And... I don't know. Maybe he's right. 106 00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:02,534 Maybe we are just work friends, 107 00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:05,662 because a "friend" friend would know. 108 00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:08,957 Okay. Eyes up here. Farmer Hank has five turkeys. 109 00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:10,500 Then he buys four more. 110 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:13,336 How many turkeys does Farmer Hank have? 111 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,296 Are any turkeys pregnant? 112 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:18,008 Guys, let's focus, okay? Uh, you know what? 113 00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:19,551 We're gonna do more math drills. 114 00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:21,678 (students groan) 115 00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:23,346 Statewide assessments are coming up. 116 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,889 It's a necessary evil. 117 00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,349 They say not to teach to the test, 118 00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:28,351 but if that were the case, 119 00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,311 they wouldn't give tests, would they? 120 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:31,521 Six plus seven? 121 00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:33,481 ALL: 13! 122 00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:36,151 - 13 minus 6? - Can we please take a break? 123 00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:40,530 Is everything okay? 124 00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:43,366 I-I didn't see your class at morning recess. 125 00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,201 Yeah. Yeah. No. Everything's fine. 126 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,998 Kids, turn to page 13 minus 6. 127 00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:53,293 Seven. 128 00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,295 So, the whole class is underperforming, 129 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,547 specifically in math, so we're taking time in recess 130 00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,382 to practice to get those scores up. 131 00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:02,385 Well, you know, it's always been my thought 132 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,637 that if one child fails... 133 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,306 - Mm-hmm. - ...it's on the child. 134 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,349 - Right. - But -- 135 00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:11,311 But if all of the children fail, it's on their teacher. 136 00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:16,399 If there's something I'm doing wrong 137 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,401 or if it can be improved upon, 138 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:22,030 I am more than happy, uh, to take some pointers. 139 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:24,616 Wonderful. Lunchtime. 140 00:05:24,616 --> 00:05:26,284 You and me. 141 00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:28,578 Yes. Sure. 142 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:31,623 I am more than happy to give up some of my free time 143 00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:34,793 to gain knowledge and better myself. 144 00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:36,670 (chuckles) 145 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,047 I still didn't get my answer. 13 minus 6? 146 00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:40,256 (students groan) 147 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,050 That "uh" better be you thinking. 148 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:43,843 (thunder rumbles) 149 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,932 Well, looks like I'm not eating today, 150 00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:51,059 'cause if you think I'm getting this hair wet, mnh-mnh. 151 00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:53,311 Yep, it's gonna be vending-machine lunch. 152 00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:55,021 - Oh. - Well, look on the bright side. 153 00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:58,358 Now we get to all stay inside and have lunch together, 154 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:01,945 which will be nice because, despite what some people say, 155 00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:04,197 we all love each other, like one big, happy family. 156 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,032 Ugh, what are you talking about? 157 00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:08,618 I told her we're work friends, and now she's doing this. 158 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:11,121 Well, we are work friends. What's the problem? 159 00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:13,665 Uh, no. No, no, no. We are a family. 160 00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:15,125 (mockingly) "We're family." 161 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,252 Enough with that Dominic Toretto rhetoric. 162 00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:20,005 Th-There's a reason that there are nine of those movies. 163 00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,965 Honey, family you kill for. 164 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:24,759 I ain't killing for any of ya. Except Barbara. 165 00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:27,804 Look, we come here, we love our kids, 166 00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,807 we exchange some delightful repartee. 167 00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:32,934 We are good colleagues. 168 00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:35,395 And then we leave. There's nothing wrong with that. 169 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:38,148 But I just feel like it doesn't have to be that way. 170 00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:39,816 Girl, this ain't a sorority. 171 00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:41,776 I'm not shoplifting Plan B for you. 172 00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,945 See, this is what people are trying to avoid. 173 00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:44,988 I know. 174 00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:46,698 I just think we should spend the time 175 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,825 to get to know each other better. 176 00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:51,953 (thunder rumbling, rain falling) 177 00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:55,498 Oh, they may not want to share, 178 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,876 but I have ways of making people talk. 179 00:06:57,876 --> 00:07:00,253 - (thunder crashes) - Mm. 180 00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:05,884 I have enlisted the help of one of Abbott Elementary's finest. 181 00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:09,346 Now, come on, come on. Show us what you got. 182 00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:11,598 - (clears throat) - What, here? 183 00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:13,850 - Yeah! - Yeah, here. Get this kid. 184 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:15,894 Of course here. Come on. Teach us something. 185 00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:17,520 Uh, all right. 186 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:22,359 Um, Farmer Hank has seven turkeys, then he buys six more. 187 00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,361 How many turkeys does Farmer Hank now have? 188 00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,780 - Hmm. - Is one of the turkeys pregnant? 189 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,239 One of my kids asked the same thing. 190 00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:29,991 Because it's a good question, 191 00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:32,744 and it shows that they're using critical thinking. 192 00:07:32,744 --> 00:07:33,870 It's irrelevant. 193 00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:35,872 No, it might be silly to you, 194 00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:37,999 but to them, it might be an important question that, 195 00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:40,418 if they don't get it answered, they can't focus. 196 00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:43,296 And diversions are an important part of learning. 197 00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:45,382 Otherwise, they're just memorizing. 198 00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:47,592 Memorization is how I learned all the states' capitals. 199 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:50,136 Juneau, Salem, Madison. I can keep going. 200 00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:52,389 In my class, we do silly voice time 201 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,307 to, you know, break up the day. 202 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:56,893 (high-pitched voice) And it makes learning more fun, too. 203 00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:59,062 Okay. (laughs) 204 00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:00,897 Follow my lead. Here we go. 205 00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:02,232 Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm. 206 00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:03,233 What's happening? 207 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,443 Oh, come on, now, son. 208 00:08:05,527 --> 00:08:08,154 Moving those hips a little, it is not going to kill you. 209 00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:10,615 Now, let's do this math problem again. 210 00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:12,367 Oh, what's the turkey farmer's name? 211 00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:14,160 - Hank? - Yes! 212 00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:15,745 All right. 213 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,747 Hank has two turkeys ♪ 214 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,916 He gets two more ♪ 215 00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:23,003 How many turkeys? ♪ 216 00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,590 Hank has two turkeys ♪ 217 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,676 He gets two more ♪ 218 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:32,053 How many turkeys? ♪ 219 00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:33,763 (off-key) He has four ♪ 220 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,140 (laughing) Aah! Yes! 221 00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,933 (silly voice) Or six if one of the turkeys 222 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,102 is pregnant with twins. (silly laugh) 223 00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:41,938 (normal voice) See? Who told you learning can't be fun? 224 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,648 - Mm. - Mm-hmm. 225 00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:44,941 Hey, guys. 226 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,818 Oh, you look a m-- 227 00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:48,361 Wait a minute. (sniffs) 228 00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:50,780 What is that smell? 229 00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,365 Is that... 230 00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:55,368 Danny Wok's makes the best chicken in all of Philly. 231 00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:59,247 I don't know what Danny puts in that chicken, but it woks. 232 00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,291 Mmm! That was very thoughtful of you. 233 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,001 Oh, oh, oh, oh! 234 00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:05,128 - If you want the "Wok"... - (thunder crashes) 235 00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:07,339 ...you gotta talk. 236 00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,967 Okay. So, I thought we all could play a little game 237 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,177 to get to know each other better. 238 00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:13,178 (all sigh) 239 00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:15,221 This text said that you had Danny Wok. 240 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:17,140 That's the only reason I'm here, Dork Dash. 241 00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:20,685 It's a simple, fun game where we write down a little fact 242 00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:22,395 about ourselves on these cards, 243 00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:24,147 something you think no one else knows. 244 00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:25,648 Then the cards are shuffled, 245 00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:27,609 and we try to figure out who each secret belongs to. 246 00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:28,610 It's so fun. 247 00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,445 - When do we get the chicken? - When you tell a secret. 248 00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,155 My cousin turned down the hit on Bobby Kennedy. 249 00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:34,366 Not that kind of secret, and we write it down. 250 00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:36,659 Janine, please, just give me the food. 251 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:40,497 Guys, you get the wings when you say the things. 252 00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:41,831 Okay. 253 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,917 (indistinct whispering) 254 00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:46,336 Don't love being left out of huddles. 255 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:47,962 Okay. 256 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,925 Oh, I can feel us getting closer already. 257 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:55,053 Okay, Sister Sledge, let's get this over with. 258 00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:58,264 All right. So, "I once drank three cups of coffee, 259 00:09:58,348 --> 00:09:59,849 thinking it was decaf, 260 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,185 and started tap-dancing in front of my students"? 261 00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:04,104 - MELISSA: Wasn't me. - Okay, I no longer 262 00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,356 - keep tap shoes in my classroom. - JANINE: Okay. 263 00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:09,693 "I won a bronze medal for a hammer throw 264 00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:12,362 in the 1976 Olympics." 265 00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:14,030 What can I say? 266 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,032 The rumors about the Olympic Village are true. 267 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,951 JANINE: Let's move on. 268 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:20,078 "I once impersonated Jill Scott 269 00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:23,623 to get free bottle service at Xfinity Live!" 270 00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:26,042 You don't even look like Jill Scott. 271 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,044 To white people in South Philly I do. 272 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,046 - (cellphone vibrates) - Sorry. I got to take this. 273 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,340 Okay. Hurry back. 274 00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:34,175 Hey, Pop. 275 00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:36,845 Gregory...you get a chance 276 00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:39,264 to look at those job listings I e-mailed you? 277 00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:41,266 You know, I-I haven't -- I haven't gotten around to it yet. 278 00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:43,018 Get around to it. 279 00:10:43,018 --> 00:10:44,894 When you gonna quit your babysitting gig, 280 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,022 get yourself a real job? 281 00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:49,357 You know who else could teach a first grader? 282 00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:51,192 A second grader. 283 00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:52,777 (chuckles) That's funny, sir. 284 00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:53,945 I actually, um, applied 285 00:10:54,029 --> 00:10:55,989 to a few other principal jobs at other schools. 286 00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,323 I'm just waiting to hear back. 287 00:10:57,407 --> 00:11:00,118 Why don't you come work at the landscaping company with me? 288 00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:02,537 This school idea, I don't get it. 289 00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:04,122 You've been trying to become a principal 290 00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,790 since you left college. 291 00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:09,294 Come do a real man's job. Time to grow up, Gregory. 292 00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:13,631 (clicks tongue) I will consider that, sir. 293 00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:15,425 - I'll take it. - (chuckles) 294 00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:16,718 All right. 295 00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:18,762 (cellphone chimes) 296 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,059 (sighs) 297 00:11:24,059 --> 00:11:26,061 You loved Green Book? 298 00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:28,438 It is a well-made film, okay? 299 00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:31,232 Do I think it's the most astute observation on race relations? 300 00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:34,611 No. But did I cry at the end? Almost. 301 00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:37,238 Okay, um, Gregory, why don't you pull a card? 302 00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:39,657 Uh, I think I'll pass on this one, thanks. 303 00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:41,326 Okay. No chicken for you. 304 00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:42,619 All right. So I'll go. 305 00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:45,080 This mystery person says, 306 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,916 "I've been dating my boyfriend since eighth grade." 307 00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:50,502 (chuckles) Ooh! I wonder who this could be. 308 00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:52,921 Wait. Like, off and on? 309 00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:55,423 Well, who says it's me? But no, just on. 310 00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:57,550 - The whole time? - Yeah. 311 00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,177 But you've dated lots of other people? 312 00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:01,054 Nope. 313 00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,640 Why are you all looking at me like that? 314 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:04,849 Janine, sweetheart, 315 00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:08,144 you have only dated one man your entire life? 316 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,437 Yeah. 317 00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:11,856 No women? Nobody else, ever? 318 00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:14,109 That just answers so many things. I mean... 319 00:12:14,109 --> 00:12:16,027 (laughs) Somebody get me a chair. 320 00:12:16,111 --> 00:12:18,446 (laughing) 321 00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:20,532 (thud) 322 00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:22,867 Is -- Is the guy rich? 323 00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:26,663 No, not monetarily. He's an aspiring musician. 324 00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,915 So he broke? Somebody get me a fresh chair. 325 00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,542 Look, you don't know Tariq. 326 00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:33,503 He's sweet. He's caring. He's ambitious. 327 00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:34,921 Jacob knows. 328 00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:36,673 Oh, I've... 329 00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:38,008 He's very spirited. 330 00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:39,175 Spirited? 331 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,553 I could use a little bit more help than that, Jacob. 332 00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:44,597 You know, he's...confident. 333 00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:49,060 And, um, he's a real extemporaneous thinker. 334 00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:50,353 BARBARA: Hmm! 335 00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:51,938 I-I'm still getting to know him, I guess. 336 00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:53,440 Et tu, work friend? 337 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,066 You were beatboxing with him this morning. 338 00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:56,359 Did that mean nothing? 339 00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:58,820 (beatboxing) One joystick. 340 00:12:58,820 --> 00:12:59,821 (imitates record scratching) Wait. 341 00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:01,531 Does that mean that you're, like, secretly Mormon? 342 00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:02,866 - No. - Oh. 343 00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:04,576 You should be 'cause you need more men. 344 00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:05,910 - Can I get it? (laughs) - Barbara! 345 00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:08,872 I'm sorry, Janine, but that was actually very clever. 346 00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:11,249 Look, this is the man I'm going to marry. 347 00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:14,753 Janine, when people get married, they try a lot of cakes. 348 00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:17,630 Have you had two slices of cake at one time? 349 00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:20,091 I can tell you, when I was at the Olympic Village... 350 00:13:20,175 --> 00:13:23,345 You know what? He is a good guy, and I love him. 351 00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:25,513 But how do you know if this has only been the one guy? 352 00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:26,681 But haven't you ever worri-- wondered, 353 00:13:26,765 --> 00:13:27,766 like, what -- who else is out there? 354 00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:30,226 - I mean, you've only... - Janine, you need to grow up. 355 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:31,978 BARBARA: The whole time, one guy? 356 00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:33,563 Ohh! 357 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,817 Ohh. 358 00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:47,243 Oh. Hold on. You're gonna get drenched. 359 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,037 Thanks. 360 00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:50,288 You okay? 361 00:13:50,372 --> 00:13:52,582 Yeah. Are they still in there making fun of me? 362 00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:55,543 It's only been a few seconds, so yeah, probably. 363 00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:57,295 Look, you can't care about 364 00:13:57,379 --> 00:13:59,005 what other people think about your choices 365 00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:00,632 'cause at the end of the day you're the one 366 00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:02,717 who got to live with them. 367 00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:08,223 My dad doesn't want me to be a teacher. 368 00:14:08,807 --> 00:14:10,141 What? 369 00:14:10,225 --> 00:14:12,018 But teaching's the best job in the world. 370 00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:14,104 Well, Lieutenant Colonel Martin Eddie 371 00:14:14,104 --> 00:14:15,730 doesn't see it that way. 372 00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:17,440 But it shouldn't matter what he thinks, right? 373 00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,901 It should be about what makes me happy? 374 00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:21,778 Does teaching make you happy? 375 00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:25,657 It could. 376 00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:32,747 Does Tariq make you happy? 377 00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:40,714 Hey! What y'all doing out here? 378 00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:43,091 It's raining harder than an Usher video! 379 00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:45,301 - Um... - We're just here to greet you. 380 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,303 - I'm Gregory. - Oh, what's up, Gregory? 381 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,431 Are you the talent handler? 382 00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:51,099 Sure. 383 00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:53,059 I need some bananas in the greenroom. 384 00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:57,605 (vocalizing) 385 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,317 - Hey, baby. - Hey. (clears throat) 386 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,485 Everything okay? You seem off. 387 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:05,572 Uh, yeah. No. I'm just nervous for you. 388 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:06,573 Don't be nervous. 389 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,867 This is gonna be like when Lil Nas X performed at that school. 390 00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:10,535 - Mm. - Except it's not a surprise 391 00:15:10,535 --> 00:15:13,830 and they don't know the words and I'm very straight. 392 00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:14,956 But come on. Come on. 393 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:15,999 - Bring it in. - Yeah. 394 00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:17,375 - Yeah. - Okay. 395 00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:19,586 Lord, thank you for giving me this opportunity 396 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:22,422 to blow the impressionable minds of these young children. 397 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:23,506 - Amen. - Amen. 398 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:24,758 - Okay. - All right. Come on. 399 00:15:27,469 --> 00:15:31,765 Oh, yeah, get it, get it, get it, hey, let's go, go! 400 00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,767 - Okay. I love you, baby. - I love you, baby. 401 00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:35,685 Let's get it! Yeah! 402 00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:38,355 Yeah, it's really hard breaking into the industry right now. 403 00:15:38,355 --> 00:15:41,691 Nobody's in that anti-drug, anti-alcohol lane, you know? 404 00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:44,110 Don't nobody rap about stuff that's good for you. 405 00:15:44,194 --> 00:15:47,364 You never heard a song called, like..."Broccoli." 406 00:15:47,364 --> 00:15:49,157 Except that one song called "Broccoli," 407 00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:51,201 but that's still about drugs, so -- Uh-oh. 408 00:15:51,201 --> 00:15:53,244 Stage manager pulling me away, y'all. 409 00:15:53,328 --> 00:15:54,746 Tour life. You feel me? 410 00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:56,915 Hey, you got them Tastykakes, my man? 411 00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:58,750 I'm a girl! 412 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,252 Uh, okay, shawty. Where is my dessert? 413 00:16:01,336 --> 00:16:03,338 (chuckles) 414 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:08,510 Make some noise, Abbott Elementary! 415 00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:10,553 - (cheers and applause) - Yeah! 416 00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:11,930 Let's get it going! 417 00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:14,391 Yo, yo, yo, drop that beat. 418 00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:17,727 ♪ Crack, weed, dope, meth, y'all don't want no smoke ♪ 419 00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:21,356 ♪ Oxy, Percs, Vic, bleep them pills, you don't wanna choke ♪ 420 00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:24,109 ♪ Stay in school and stack them M's, bleep you can get a boat ♪ 421 00:16:24,109 --> 00:16:26,444 ♪ I'm bleeping your girl on a Jet Ski, bleep, bleep, bleep ♪ 422 00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:28,446 - She tryna float ♪ - This is the one? 423 00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:30,407 - TARIQ: Let's go. Okay. - You know what? 424 00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:31,991 - TARIQ: Yeah, unh ♪ - I kinda get it. 425 00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:33,493 He got bars. 426 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,829 ♪ Hey, kids, don't be hypnotic, the flow is iconic ♪ 427 00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:37,747 ♪ I touched that girl once, now she feeling aquatic ♪ 428 00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,165 ♪ Drugs are a no-no, we ready to go-go ♪ 429 00:16:39,249 --> 00:16:40,792 ♪ Don't sip lean, it'll make you a slow-poke ♪ 430 00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:42,252 ♪ Oh, my God, I'm feeling lucky ♪ 431 00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:43,545 ♪ Spending that bleep like it's funny ♪ 432 00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:44,754 ♪ Did you know shrooms hurt your tummy? ♪ 433 00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,339 ♪ Bleep that bleep, we getting money ♪ 434 00:16:46,423 --> 00:16:48,008 Like fifties and hundreds ♪ Yeah! 435 00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:50,802 Come on! Get your little hands up! 436 00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:53,930 Yeah! Yeah, get your tiny hands up! 437 00:16:54,014 --> 00:16:55,765 Okay! All right. Okay. 438 00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:56,850 Hey, Janine. 439 00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:59,102 Bounce, bounce, yeah. 440 00:16:59,102 --> 00:17:00,937 Hey, I-I would like to apologize 441 00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:02,814 for saying that we're just work friends. 442 00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:05,734 We are totally friends. You know that, right? 443 00:17:05,734 --> 00:17:07,944 - I know. - If I were just your coworker, 444 00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:09,320 would I know you like to fall asleep 445 00:17:09,404 --> 00:17:10,697 to Last Man Standing every night? 446 00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,657 Hey, Tim Allen and that family 447 00:17:12,741 --> 00:17:14,284 have gotten me through some dark times. 448 00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:17,287 Yeah. Last Man Standing is basically your Green Book. 449 00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:22,375 But why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend this whole time? 450 00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:25,045 I don't know. 451 00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:27,589 I...I think I thought 452 00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:29,674 if I kept you out of my relationship business, 453 00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:32,927 I wouldn't have to weigh in on yours. 454 00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:34,346 (music continues) 455 00:17:34,346 --> 00:17:36,473 TARIQ: Yeah, Abbott Elementary, y'all don't hear me, man! 456 00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:39,184 Y'all don't hear me, Abbott Elementary! Hold on! 457 00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:41,478 I need y'all to pay close attention, Abbott Elementary. 458 00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:43,188 What if this little stage manager shawty 459 00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:44,481 died from drugs right now? 460 00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:46,483 That'd be pretty messed up, wouldn't it? 461 00:17:46,483 --> 00:17:47,984 That was like an artistic interlude. 462 00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:49,652 All right. Let's get back to the music! Yeah! 463 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:52,489 ♪ I'm a sober guy, I don't get high ♪ 464 00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:55,992 ♪ If you take drugs, then you might die ♪ 465 00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:58,036 Let's go! 466 00:17:58,036 --> 00:18:01,498 Come on! Bounce, bounce, yeah! 467 00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:04,959 ♪ If you smokin' trees, don't come next to me ♪ 468 00:18:05,043 --> 00:18:06,628 'Cause I'm high off life ♪ 469 00:18:06,628 --> 00:18:08,213 Don't take no LSD ♪ 470 00:18:08,213 --> 00:18:10,882 Yeah! Bounce, bounce! 471 00:18:10,882 --> 00:18:12,926 Yeah! Bounce, bounce. 472 00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:15,095 Come on! Yeah! 473 00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:17,806 Open up that mosh pit! Let me see you! 474 00:18:17,806 --> 00:18:19,974 Bounce, bounce! 475 00:18:20,058 --> 00:18:22,811 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 476 00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:24,104 Let's go. 477 00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:25,647 Oh, let's go. 478 00:18:25,647 --> 00:18:27,357 Oh, okay, I see you, talent handler! 479 00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:29,526 Oh, he going crazy! Yeah! 480 00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:31,403 - He going crazy! - Oh! 481 00:18:31,403 --> 00:18:32,946 Okay. Wow. 482 00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:34,739 Gregory dances. 483 00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:38,368 I don't think I've ever seen him experience...joy before. 484 00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:41,663 It's... It's weird. 485 00:18:41,663 --> 00:18:43,331 ♪ At the party, I'm taking pics ♪ 486 00:18:43,415 --> 00:18:44,916 ♪ Do my dance and eat some chips ♪ 487 00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:46,668 ♪ Drinkin' water, not taking hits ♪ 488 00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:48,294 ♪ Ecstasy gives you swollen lips ♪ 489 00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:49,379 Yeah! 490 00:18:49,379 --> 00:18:51,381 Hey, uh, hold on, hold on, hold on. 491 00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:53,341 I-I want to do a quick shout-out. 492 00:18:53,425 --> 00:18:55,093 Shout-out to a very special person 493 00:18:55,093 --> 00:18:57,220 and the -- and the whole reason that I'm here. 494 00:18:57,220 --> 00:19:00,724 This woman is my everything, my ride-or-die since day one. 495 00:19:00,724 --> 00:19:02,934 He means that literally, like out the womb. 496 00:19:03,018 --> 00:19:04,728 To the most amazing second grade teacher 497 00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:06,688 and the most amazing teacher in this whole place 498 00:19:06,688 --> 00:19:08,398 and the only woman I ever been with... 499 00:19:08,398 --> 00:19:09,858 - Oh. - ...Janine Teagues. 500 00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:12,068 - I love you, baby. - Love you, too. 501 00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:13,695 (applause, music continues) 502 00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:15,030 Yeah! 503 00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:18,491 ♪ If somebody try to give you drugs, punch 'em in the face ♪ 504 00:19:18,575 --> 00:19:20,410 ♪ If somebody try to give you drugs ♪ 505 00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:22,162 Punch 'em in the face like ♪ 506 00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:24,622 ♪ 507 00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:29,419 So, um, tell me -- as a friend -- 508 00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:33,006 what do you really think of Tariq? 509 00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,799 ♪ 510 00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:38,803 I had an ex back home that I was certain I would be with forever. 511 00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:40,472 What happened? 512 00:19:40,472 --> 00:19:42,140 I realized I outgrew him. 513 00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:44,392 You know, it was no one's fault. 514 00:19:44,476 --> 00:19:47,729 But I realized I couldn't be the best Jacob I could be. 515 00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:49,606 Was it hard to let go? 516 00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:51,608 Extremely. 517 00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:53,568 But if I hadn't, I wouldn't have met Zach. 518 00:19:53,568 --> 00:19:56,905 Ah, yes. Zach, boyfriend of two years that I knew nothing about. 519 00:19:56,905 --> 00:19:59,282 - (chuckles) - He's 5'9". 520 00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:02,619 He loves dogs. He spells his name with a "ch." 521 00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:04,662 All right. Well, that's a start. 522 00:20:04,746 --> 00:20:06,456 I'd love to meet him one day. 523 00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:09,042 Unless, you know, we're not there yet. 524 00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:12,379 I'll bring him around. 525 00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:14,005 Hey, whatever you do, 526 00:20:14,089 --> 00:20:17,425 you should know that I love and support you as a friend. 527 00:20:18,802 --> 00:20:20,178 And, most importantly, 528 00:20:20,178 --> 00:20:24,474 maybe give yourself a chance to be the best Janine you can be. 529 00:20:24,474 --> 00:20:26,142 TARIQ: Let's go! Let's go! 530 00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:29,187 Yeah! Let's go. Whoo! 531 00:20:29,187 --> 00:20:35,527 ♪ 532 00:20:36,111 --> 00:20:38,613 Okay. This is gonna be on your assessment, so let's focus. 533 00:20:38,697 --> 00:20:42,283 If there are 12 bikes and Riley buys 4, 534 00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:45,620 how many bikes are left in the store? 535 00:20:45,704 --> 00:20:47,956 Why does Riley need so many bikes? 536 00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:52,293 That is a good question. For his friends. 537 00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:53,795 Is he in a bicycle gang? 538 00:20:54,504 --> 00:20:55,839 Yes. 539 00:20:55,839 --> 00:20:58,550 Then there's 8 bikes left. 540 00:20:58,550 --> 00:20:59,926 That's correct. 541 00:21:00,010 --> 00:21:01,886 Can you do the dance? 542 00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:03,471 What did I say? 543 00:21:03,555 --> 00:21:06,141 You get this right, then we dancin'. 544 00:21:06,141 --> 00:21:08,018 Come on, y'all. Get up with it. 545 00:21:08,018 --> 00:21:10,145 Hey, okay. 546 00:21:10,145 --> 00:21:12,313 Okay. All right. 547 00:21:12,397 --> 00:21:14,858 Let's go. Hey, oh, oh. 548 00:21:14,858 --> 00:21:17,027 - (children laughing) - Oh! 549 00:21:17,027 --> 00:21:19,112 Hey, oh! 550 00:21:19,112 --> 00:21:20,989 Hey! 551 00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:22,282 (laughs) 552 00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:32,333 - Captions by VITAC --