1
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:07,716
為何混幫派,小子?你正值純真年華

2
00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:11,678
應該無憂無慮,不該幹壞勾當

3
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:12,762
好耶

4
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:15,557
雅格,你覺得如何?是不是超屌?

5
00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:18,810
- 屌爆了
- 妳聽到他說的嗎?

6
00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:23,231
為了減少我的碳足跡
我偶爾會坐珍妮的車去學校

7
00:00:23,231 --> 00:00:26,901
塔里克如果要用車,他也會在車上

8
00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:29,863
他基本上...每次都在

9
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,698
對...不,我要再唱給你聽

10
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,908
那個文字遊戲要聽好幾次才會懂

11
00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:36,161
你也會饒舌嗎?一起唱吧,雅格

12
00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:39,080
不了,我唱一點也不屌

13
00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:41,666
寶貝,他叫雅各,不是雅格

14
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,585
對,有些人會幫我加上木字旁

15
00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:47,797
這是你待會要表演的歌嗎?

16
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:49,674
對...我歌單多著呢

17
00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:51,885
說實話,這場表演將絕無冷場

18
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,428
續攤派對肯定嗨到爆

19
00:00:53,428 --> 00:00:54,512
不會

20
00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:58,683
這是給孩子的反幫派暴力與反毒表演

21
00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,060
不會有續攤派對

22
00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:04,814
塔里克晚點要來艾培小學
為F.A.D.E.表演一些歌曲

23
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,983
也就是反毒救助會

24
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,527
沒錯,他憑己之力得到這個機會

25
00:01:10,111 --> 00:01:15,075
我意思是,我聯絡那個組織
然後塔里克再答應他們

26
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,827
寶貝,我在想,妳最近工作太辛苦了

27
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:21,039
我們拿到反毒救助會的生意
應該來場小旅行

28
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,084
我一直都想去巴黎

29
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:27,003
巴黎或者康尼島

30
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:29,547
我們可以去那,我會大胃王上身

31
00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:31,633
然後大啖紐約熱狗

32
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:34,511
好讚,太棒了

33
00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:38,765
對,但你也許要先專注於今天的表演

34
00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:41,601
- 說得對...要認真表演
- 沒錯

35
00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:42,727
左轉

36
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:47,315
她要向左轉,我在台前教書講道

37
00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:49,401
歌詞太嗆辣,你心如刀割

38
00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:52,737
老天,我的歌詞停不下來,聽好了,雅格

39
00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:54,698
讓你奪得先機,搶先欣賞大作

40
00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:58,118
是啊,這先機真是太棒了

41
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,829
《小學風雲》

42
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:02,872
(威拉德艾培公立小學)

43
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,500
(團結、積極、創新、卓越、成就)

44
00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:13,258
很多人都和塔里克很慢熟

45
00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:15,802
但你們倆處得真不錯

46
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:18,221
也許你這週末可以和我們一起吃披薩

47
00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:21,016
不行,我週六很忙

48
00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:23,059
我都還沒說是哪一天呢

49
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:26,062
我懂你在想什麼,你不想當電燈泡

50
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,647
- 我沒有
- 別擔心

51
00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:30,066
我認識個很棒的傢伙,我想替你們牽線

52
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,902
謝了,但我不知道我男友會怎麼想

53
00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:36,239
你什麼?

54
00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:38,324
我的男友

55
00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:41,703
你有男友?他叫什麼名字?

56
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:46,875
查克?你們在一起多久了?

57
00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:50,211
一年吧,然後再加一年

58
00:02:50,795 --> 00:02:54,341
雅各,我怎麼都不知道?你從沒提過他

59
00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:56,843
好吧,我在自問自答

60
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:59,763
我以為妳知道,我發誓我和妳講過

61
00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:01,973
我朋友都說我開口閉口全是他

62
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:05,393
你朋友?我以為我就是你朋友

63
00:03:06,227 --> 00:03:09,189
妳是啊,妳是我朋友,只是...妳知道

64
00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:11,232
是什麼?

65
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,360
工作上的朋友

66
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,445
我們不會聊內心深層的東西

67
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:18,073
你在辛巴威時,還跟我說你得到絛蟲呢

68
00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:22,452
對,我想說妳如果哪天去非洲
我就能幫得上忙

69
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:28,124
聽我說,工作上的朋友仍是朋友
只是屬於特定場合的朋友

70
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,293
我以為我們也是工作以外的朋友

71
00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:33,004
是呀,我們其實也是工作以外的朋友

72
00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:35,674
今天早上,從我的公寓到學校

73
00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:40,720
我們是工作以外的朋友
但到學校,我們就是工作上的朋友

74
00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:48,520
我不敢相信雅各沒跟我說查克的事

75
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,438
我有一大堆問題,好嗎?

76
00:03:50,522 --> 00:03:52,982
他高嗎?喜歡貓還是喜歡狗?

77
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,110
查克的克是哪個克?

78
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:58,363
是公克的克還是比較少見的客?

79
00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:02,617
而且,或許他是對的
也許我們只是工作上的朋友

80
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:05,704
因為真朋友一定知道這些事

81
00:04:05,704 --> 00:04:07,414
好,眼睛看這裡

82
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:10,500
漢克農夫有五隻火雞,然後他又買了四隻

83
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,836
請問漢克農夫有幾隻火雞?

84
00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:15,296
他有懷孕的火雞嗎?

85
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:19,509
同學們,專心點好嗎?我們要多做數學題

86
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:24,931
就快要全州評量測驗了
這是逼不得已的手段

87
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:28,309
他們要老師們別為了考試而教
如果是這樣的話

88
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:30,311
他們何必搞這個評量測驗?

89
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:33,481
- 六加七?
- 十三

90
00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:36,192
- 十三減六?
- 我們能休息一下嗎?

91
00:04:39,195 --> 00:04:43,283
一切還好嗎?
今天上午的休息時間沒見到你們班

92
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,201
對,一切都很好

93
00:04:47,162 --> 00:04:50,040
孩子們,翻到第十三減六頁

94
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,001
七

95
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:56,171
我們班有點表現不佳,尤其是數學

96
00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:59,382
所以我們利用休息時間練習,好提高分數

97
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:05,263
我一直認為,如果是一個孩子進度落後

98
00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:06,848
- 那是孩子的問題
- 對

99
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:11,311
但如果全班都跟不上進度
那就是老師的問題

100
00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:18,360
如果我哪裡做錯了,或是有待改進之處

101
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:22,030
我很樂意聽從指教

102
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,615
那太好了

103
00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:26,326
午餐時間,就你跟我

104
00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:28,495
好,當然好

105
00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:33,375
為了獲取知識,我很樂意犧牲休息時間

106
00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:34,834
讓自己進步

107
00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:39,422
我還沒聽到答案,十三減六?

108
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,050
希望這是你們思考的聲音

109
00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:46,930
(如何成為一名校長)

110
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,932
好啊,看來我今天別想吃飯了

111
00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:50,975
休想我會弄濕頭髮...

112
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:53,812
對,只能吃販賣機的食物了

113
00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:55,230
往好處想

114
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:58,525
我們現在能齊聚一堂,共享午餐

115
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:01,861
真是太好了,因為儘管有人不這麼認為

116
00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:04,197
但我們彼此珍愛,像個快樂的大家庭

117
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,949
妳在說什麼?

118
00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:08,618
我跟她說我們是工作上的朋友
她就搞這齣了

119
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,621
我們是工作上的朋友啊,有什麼問題?

120
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,873
不對...我們是一家人

121
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:16,918
「我們是一家人」
少學《玩命關頭》講那些空話

122
00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:20,130
那部電影能出到第九集不是沒原因的

123
00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:23,675
親愛的,家人是妳會赴湯蹈火的人
我可不會為你們這麼做

124
00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:24,759
芭芭拉除外

125
00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:27,929
聽著,我們來到這,我們都愛這些孩子

126
00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:30,849
我們彼此交流、講些玩笑話

127
00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:32,934
我們是好同事

128
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:35,603
然後我們道別,沒什麼錯呀

129
00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:38,314
我只是覺得,我們可以有所不同

130
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:41,776
小妞,這裡不是姐妹會
我可不會幫妳偷緊急避孕藥

131
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,487
看吧,大家避之唯恐不及

132
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:48,199
我知道,我只是覺得
我們應該花些時間了解彼此

133
00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:58,126
他們或許不想分享
但我有辦法讓大家開口

134
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:05,884
我找來艾培小學最優秀的老師之一

135
00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:09,596
現在,來吧,讓我們看看你的本事

136
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,182
什麼,在這裡?

137
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:13,892
- 對呀
- 是的,搞定這孩子

138
00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,894
當然是在這裡,快點,教我們吧

139
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:17,937
好吧

140
00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:22,442
漢克農夫有七隻火雞,然後他又買了六隻

141
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,361
請問漢克農夫有幾隻火雞?

142
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:28,239
- 有懷孕的火雞嗎?
- 有個孩子問一樣的問題

143
00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:30,075
因為這是很好的問題

144
00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:32,744
代表他們會批判性思考

145
00:07:32,744 --> 00:07:33,870
但毫無關連啊

146
00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:35,872
不,對你來說或許是蠢問題

147
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:37,707
但對孩子而言,這問題至關重要

148
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,418
如果不搞清楚,他們就無法專心

149
00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:43,755
而轉移注意力是學習很重要的一環

150
00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:45,382
否則他們只是在死背

151
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:47,676
我就是靠死背記住全美的各州首府

152
00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:50,178
朱諾、沙連、麥迪遜,我能繼續下去

153
00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:54,265
我的班上有個提振精神的白癡聲音時間

154
00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:56,935
這麼做也會讓學習更有趣

155
00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:58,019
好吧

156
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:00,772
跟著我做,開始囉

157
00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:05,402
- 現在怎麼回事?
- 拜託你,小子

158
00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:08,613
扭幾下屁股不會要你的命

159
00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:12,367
我們回到數學題
養火雞的農夫叫什麼來著?

160
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:15,662
- 漢克?
- 對,很好

161
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:19,916
漢克農夫有兩隻火雞,他又買了兩隻

162
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:22,460
他總共有幾隻火雞?

163
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:29,551
漢克農夫有兩隻火雞,他又買了兩隻

164
00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:32,053
他總共有幾隻火雞?

165
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:33,763
他總共有四隻火雞

166
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:35,390
好極了

167
00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:38,184
或者六隻,如果有隻火雞懷了雙胞胎的話

168
00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:42,147
看吧?誰說教學不能生動有趣?

169
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:44,899
你們好呀

170
00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:47,819
妳看起來一團...等等

171
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:50,780
那是什麼香味?

172
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:51,865
那是...

173
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:55,493
丹尼中餐館的炸雞是全費城最好吃的

174
00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:58,705
我不知道丹尼在雞裡面加了什麼
但總之超好吃

175
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:01,875
妳真是太貼心了

176
00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:06,546
肯聊天的話,就能啃炸雞

177
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:12,177
我們可以玩個小遊戲,增進對彼此的了解

178
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,221
簡訊寫說妳買了丹尼中餐館

179
00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:17,140
我是為丹尼而來的,外送蠢妹

180
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:19,517
這遊戲簡單又好玩

181
00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:22,645
只要在紙上寫下關於自己的小趣事

182
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,272
你認為其他人不知道的事

183
00:09:24,356 --> 00:09:25,732
然後我會將紙張洗牌

184
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:28,610
我們一一猜出祕密的主人是誰,很好玩

185
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,445
- 何時能吃炸雞?
- 分享祕密之後

186
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,197
我表哥拒絕了暗殺某政客的機會

187
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:34,366
不是那種祕密,而且要寫下來

188
00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:36,743
珍妮,拜託妳,我只要食物

189
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:40,497
各位,寫下小祕密就能換雞翅

190
00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:41,623
好吧

191
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,794
我不喜歡被排除在外

192
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:47,462
好吧

193
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:51,966
我已經感到彼此的距離拉近了

194
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:55,136
好了,美聲小姐,快點開始

195
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,262
好的,來吧

196
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,515
「我有次喝了三杯咖啡

197
00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:02,185
我以為是低咖啡因
結果我在學生面前跳起了踢踏舞」

198
00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:03,353
不是我

199
00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:05,814
我教室裡後來再也不放踢踏舞鞋了

200
00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:06,898
好啦

201
00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:11,611
「我在1976年的奧運摘下鏈球銅牌」

202
00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:13,655
我能說什麼?

203
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:16,616
那些關於奧運選手村的傳言都是真的

204
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:17,951
我們繼續吧

205
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:23,039
「我有次在酒吧冒充吉兒史考特
然後得到免費的整瓶服務」

206
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:28,003
- 妳根本不像吉兒史考特
- 南費城的白人覺得像

207
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,673
- 抱歉,我接個電話
- 好,快回來

208
00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:33,758
喂,爸

209
00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:35,552
葛瑞格

210
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:39,097
你有看我寄給你的職缺清單嗎?

211
00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:41,641
我還沒有時間看

212
00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:43,143
花點時間看看吧

213
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:46,396
你何時要辭掉保姆的活兒
找份真正的工作?

214
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,315
你知道誰能教一年級生嗎?

215
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,693
二年級生

216
00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:52,902
真好笑,父親大人

217
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,989
我其實申請了一些其他學校的校長職缺

218
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,407
我還在等結果

219
00:10:57,407 --> 00:11:00,118
你何不和我一起在園林公司上班?

220
00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:02,620
在學校工作,我真不懂

221
00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:05,749
你自從大學畢業後,就一直想當校長

222
00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:09,294
做點男子漢的工作,該成熟點了,葛瑞格

223
00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:13,673
我會考慮的,父親大人

224
00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:14,799
我接受

225
00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:16,551
好吧

226
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,144
你喜歡《幸福綠皮書》?

227
00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:28,646
那部電影拍得很讚,好嗎?

228
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:31,232
那部電影有針對種族關係
提出最敏銳的觀察嗎?

229
00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:34,652
沒有,但我在結尾有哭嗎?幾乎要哭了

230
00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:37,530
好,葛瑞格,你來抽張紙卡吧

231
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,324
我這次先跳過吧

232
00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:41,326
好,那你沒得吃

233
00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:43,161
好吧,那換我了

234
00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:45,205
這個神祕人士說

235
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:48,375
「我從八年級開始,就和我男友在一起」

236
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,543
會是誰呢?

237
00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:52,921
等等,分分合合的狀態嗎?

238
00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:55,423
誰說是我了?但不對,是一直交往中

239
00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:58,093
- 從沒間斷過?
- 對

240
00:11:58,093 --> 00:12:00,053
- 妳有和其他人約會過嗎?
- 沒有

241
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,598
你們幹嘛都這樣看我?

242
00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:08,186
珍妮,甜心
妳這輩子只和一個男人約會過

243
00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:09,437
對呀

244
00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:12,148
跟女人呢?沒和別人?什麼人都好?

245
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:14,401
這解答了許多事情,我是說...

246
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,069
誰拿張椅子給我

247
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:22,867
這傢伙很有錢嗎?

248
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:26,621
他沒有錢,但他是個滿懷抱負的音樂家

249
00:12:26,705 --> 00:12:28,915
所以他很窮?誰拿張新的椅子給我

250
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,583
聽著,你們不認識塔里克

251
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:35,088
他既貼心又有愛心,還有雄心壯志
雅各認識他

252
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:38,008
我有...他很有精神

253
00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:39,134
「有精神」?

254
00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:41,553
你根本沒幫上忙,雅各

255
00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:44,055
妳知道的,他很有自信心

256
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:49,477
而且他想到什麼就說什麼

257
00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:51,938
我猜我還不夠了解他吧

258
00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:53,523
連你也這樣,好同事?

259
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,900
你早上還跟他一起節奏口技
全是假的嗎?

260
00:12:57,819 --> 00:12:58,820
一把搖桿

261
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:01,614
等等,所以妳私底下是禁慾達人?

262
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:02,991
不是

263
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:05,493
我覺得妳是,因為從沒破過戒,同意嗎?

264
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:07,579
- 芭芭拉
- 抱歉,珍妮

265
00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:09,414
但她說得很好

266
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:11,416
聽好了,我以後會嫁給這男人

267
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:14,753
珍妮,大家結婚前會試吃很多不同的蛋糕

268
00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:17,714
妳同時吃過兩塊蛋糕嗎?

269
00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:20,091
我告訴妳,我在奧運選手村時...

270
00:13:20,175 --> 00:13:22,969
隨你們說,他是很棒的人,而且我愛他

271
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:28,308
- 妳沒和別人交往過,又怎麼知道?
- 妳沒考慮過別人?

272
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,559
珍妮,妳得成熟點

273
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:32,896
- 外面的世界有什麼?
- 就這個男人,一輩子就一個男人

274
00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:48,203
- 等等,妳會被淋濕的
- 謝了

275
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,288
妳還好嗎?

276
00:13:50,372 --> 00:13:52,499
他們還在嘲笑我嗎?

277
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,543
才剛過幾秒鐘,所以大概還在笑吧

278
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:59,214
聽著,妳不用管別人如何看待妳的選擇

279
00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:02,217
畢竟到頭來,妳才是得接受一切的人

280
00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:08,973
我爸不想要我當老師

281
00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:10,141
什麼?

282
00:14:10,225 --> 00:14:12,018
但教書是全世界最棒的工作

283
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:15,230
馬丁艾迪中校可不這麼認為

284
00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:17,440
但他怎麼想,不重要吧?

285
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,734
重要的是我快不快樂

286
00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:21,778
教書讓你快樂嗎?

287
00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:25,657
應該會

288
00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:32,747
塔里克讓妳快樂嗎?

289
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,587
你們好!

290
00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:42,382
你們在那幹嘛?
這雨比亞瑟小子MV裡的雨還大

291
00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:46,594
我們剛到這裡等你,我是葛瑞格

292
00:14:46,678 --> 00:14:48,430
你好,葛瑞格,你是接待專員嗎?

293
00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:51,099
沒錯

294
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:53,059
我的休息室裡要放一些香蕉

295
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:57,063
(F.A.D.E.)
(反毒救助會)

296
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:01,317
- 嗨,寶貝
- 嗨

297
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,028
還好嗎?妳怪怪的

298
00:15:03,028 --> 00:15:06,281
- 沒事,我只是替你感到緊張
- 別緊張

299
00:15:06,281 --> 00:15:08,867
我會像納斯小子那次在小學表演一樣

300
00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:12,454
只不過我不是驚喜,而且他們聽不懂歌詞

301
00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:13,997
以及我是異性戀

302
00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:15,498
快點,過來這裡

303
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:16,916
- 對,好吧
- 好

304
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:19,711
主啊,感謝祢賜給我這個機會

305
00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:22,422
為這些年輕學子帶來永生難忘的表演

306
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:23,506
- 阿們
- 阿們

307
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:24,758
- 很好,加油
- 好

308
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:32,349
- 很好,接招...去吧,加油!
- 這就是我的實力,金銀城...

309
00:15:32,349 --> 00:15:33,933
- 好吧,我愛你,寶貝
- 我愛妳,寶貝

310
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:35,769
上場囉,好耶

311
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:38,480
對,現在這一行越來越難做了

312
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:41,900
根本沒人鳥什麼反毒反酒精,你懂嗎?

313
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:44,194
沒人要唱對你身心有益的饒舌歌

314
00:15:44,194 --> 00:15:47,781
你沒聽過饒舌歌是關於,例如,青花菜

315
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:50,575
除了那首叫《青花菜》的歌
但仍和毒品有關,所以...

316
00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:54,871
好了各位,舞台經理找我
巡迴表演的日常,懂吧?

317
00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:56,915
有準備零食嗎,小弟?

318
00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:58,249
我是女生

319
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:01,586
好吧,小妹,我的點心呢?

320
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,175
給我尖叫聲,艾培小學

321
00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:08,510
(F.A.D.E.)
(反毒救助會)

322
00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:14,015
好耶,我們開始吧,音樂請下

323
00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:17,727
快克、大麻、海洛因、安非他命
別自找麻煩

324
00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:21,356
土海洛因、類鴉片、維可汀
別自討苦吃

325
00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:24,401
好好上學好好存錢,嗶,你能買艘船

326
00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:27,570
我在噴射快艇嗶你女友
嗶嗶嗶,她快升天

327
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,030
- 就是他?
- 一起來

328
00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:31,991
- 沒錯,好
- 知道嗎?我有點懂了

329
00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:33,660
- 來吧
- 他滿會饒舌的

330
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,995
孩子,別睡著了
這饒舌歌屌爆了

331
00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:37,747
我碰了那女孩,她就欲仙欲死

332
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,165
向毒品說不,我們就是酷

333
00:16:39,249 --> 00:16:41,042
別喝嗨嗨水,你會變癡呆

334
00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:43,503
老天,感覺真屌,整天鬼混好像很好玩

335
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:45,630
你知道迷幻蘑菇吃了傷胃嗎?嗶他的嗶

336
00:16:45,714 --> 00:16:48,091
大賺五十美金一百美金,好耶

337
00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:50,927
來吧,舉起你的小手來

338
00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:54,222
好耶,舉起你的小小手

339
00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:55,974
好,很好

340
00:16:55,974 --> 00:16:57,058
- 珍妮
- 跳起來

341
00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:59,269
跳起來...好耶!

342
00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:02,939
我想向妳道歉
我不該說我們只是工作上的朋友

343
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:05,734
我們是不折不扣的朋友,妳知道,對吧?

344
00:17:05,734 --> 00:17:07,068
我知道

345
00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:08,570
如果我只是妳的好同事

346
00:17:08,570 --> 00:17:10,947
怎會知道妳愛看《硬漢老爸》入睡?

347
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:14,534
提姆艾倫那一家子陪我走過許多低潮時光

348
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:17,287
對,《硬漢老爸》基本上
就是妳的《幸福綠皮書》

349
00:17:19,247 --> 00:17:22,375
你為何一直沒跟我說你有男友了?

350
00:17:24,753 --> 00:17:25,754
我不知道

351
00:17:25,754 --> 00:17:29,883
我以為,如果不和妳聊我的感情

352
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:32,344
我也就不必談論妳的感情事

353
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,765
好耶,艾培小學,大聲一點

354
00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:39,184
大聲一點,艾培小學,等等

355
00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:41,478
我要你們全神貫注,艾培小學

356
00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:44,481
這位舞台經理小妹
現在如果死於吸毒,會怎樣?

357
00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:46,566
那可就糟透了,是吧?

358
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:47,984
剛剛是個精彩的插曲

359
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:49,694
好,我們繼續唱,好耶

360
00:17:49,778 --> 00:17:52,489
我是個清醒的傢伙,我不吸毒

361
00:17:53,156 --> 00:17:56,034
你如果吸毒了,可能會翹辮子

362
00:17:56,034 --> 00:17:57,118
開始吧!

363
00:17:58,161 --> 00:18:01,498
來啊,舞動起來...好耶

364
00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:04,959
你如果吸大麻,我求你閃邊去

365
00:18:05,043 --> 00:18:08,296
因為我的生活很精彩,不需要搖腳丸

366
00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:13,551
好耶,跳起來...

367
00:18:13,635 --> 00:18:17,138
來吧,我們來搖滾衝撞!讓我看見你們

368
00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:19,307
跳起來...

369
00:18:19,974 --> 00:18:23,103
好耶...

370
00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:25,647
一起來...

371
00:18:25,647 --> 00:18:27,357
我看到你了,接待專員

372
00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:30,568
他跳得真狂,讚啦,他有夠狂!

373
00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:33,154
好,哇賽

374
00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:34,739
葛瑞格會跳舞喔

375
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:38,451
我從沒見過他體驗快樂的滋味

376
00:18:38,535 --> 00:18:40,745
感覺真怪

377
00:18:40,829 --> 00:18:43,289
像抽鴉片一樣上癮,我在派對,拍了照片

378
00:18:43,373 --> 00:18:46,626
我跳著舞吃洋芋片,我喝著水但不哈毒

379
00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:49,337
搖頭丸讓你腫成香腸嘴

380
00:18:49,421 --> 00:18:51,506
等等,大家等一下

381
00:18:51,506 --> 00:18:55,176
我要公開向一個很特別的人道謝

382
00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:57,262
因為她,我今天才會在這裡

383
00:18:57,262 --> 00:19:00,724
這女人是我的一切,自始至終、生死與共

384
00:19:00,724 --> 00:19:03,018
真的是自始至終,打從出娘胎起

385
00:19:03,018 --> 00:19:04,853
致最讚的二年級老師

386
00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:06,688
這裡最了不起的老師

387
00:19:06,688 --> 00:19:08,857
同時也是我唯一交往過的女人

388
00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:10,942
珍妮蒂格,我愛妳,寶貝

389
00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:12,277
我也愛你

390
00:19:14,529 --> 00:19:17,282
好耶,如果有人想叫你吸毒

391
00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:20,410
就給他拳頭吃,如果有人想叫你吸毒

392
00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:22,162
就給他拳頭吃,像這樣...

393
00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:27,042
那麼,告訴我

394
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:32,088
身為我的朋友,你覺得塔里克怎麼樣?

395
00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:38,845
我曾以為我能和某位前任廝守終生

396
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:40,513
結果呢?

397
00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:44,517
我發現他無法和我一起成長
但這不是誰的錯

398
00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:47,729
我發覺跟他交往時
我無法成為最好的雅各

399
00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:49,606
放手很痛苦嗎?

400
00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:50,690
非常痛苦

401
00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:53,568
但我若沒放手,我也不會遇見查克

402
00:19:54,277 --> 00:19:57,906
對,查克,那位你交往兩年
我卻毫不知情的男友

403
00:19:57,906 --> 00:20:02,619
他身高五尺九吋,他喜歡狗
他的克是公克的克

404
00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:04,329
好吧,這只是開始

405
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:08,666
希望有天我能跟他見面
除非你覺得我們還不到那種交情

406
00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:11,461
我會帶他跟妳見面

407
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:17,425
記住,不管妳做什麼
我都是妳的朋友,我會愛妳、支持妳

408
00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:20,387
最重要的是

409
00:20:20,387 --> 00:20:24,724
或許給自己個機會,讓妳成為最好的珍妮

410
00:20:24,808 --> 00:20:28,144
大家繼續...好耶,繼續

411
00:20:36,111 --> 00:20:38,655
好,這會是你們的評量測驗,所以專心點

412
00:20:38,655 --> 00:20:44,244
如果店裡有十二台腳踏車,瑞利買了四台
請問還剩下幾台?

413
00:20:45,704 --> 00:20:47,956
瑞利為什麼要這麼多台腳踏車?

414
00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:52,293
這是很好的問題,他買給朋友的

415
00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:53,795
他們是腳踏車黑幫嗎?

416
00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:55,797
對

417
00:20:56,381 --> 00:20:59,926
- 那還剩下八台腳踏車
- 答對了

418
00:21:00,010 --> 00:21:01,302
你可以跳舞嗎?

419
00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:03,388
我剛剛怎麼說的?

420
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:07,225
你答對的話,我們就跳舞,大家一起跳

421
00:21:07,225 --> 00:21:09,185
站起來吧

422
00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:11,438
很好...

423
00:21:11,438 --> 00:21:13,189
沒錯,大家一起跳

424
00:21:17,152 --> 00:21:18,153
妳好

425
00:21:19,446 --> 00:21:20,447
嘿

426
00:21:25,243 --> 00:21:27,328
字幕翻譯:李羽婷