1 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,715 JANINE: Gooooood morning, Mrs. Howard. 2 00:00:06,715 --> 00:00:08,591 I mean "good morning." I know you told me 3 00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:11,386 not to elongate my vowels before we're in school. 4 00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:13,972 - Good morning, Janine. - Good morning. So -- 5 00:00:13,972 --> 00:00:16,057 - Ms. Howard? - Yes? 6 00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:19,686 Ms. Howard! It is you! Yo! 7 00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:22,105 I would have thought you would have retired by now! 8 00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:24,190 Yo, I just dropped off my nephew and -- 9 00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:26,151 Yo, you was always my favorite teacher, 10 00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:27,777 and I never got a chance to thank you 11 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,738 for everything you did for me back in kindergarten. 12 00:00:29,738 --> 00:00:32,741 Aw, sweetheart, you don't have to thank me for that. 13 00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:33,867 You did this. 14 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,827 Of course I need to thank you! 15 00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:38,163 Before I was in your class, everyone would have been like, 16 00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:40,665 "Oh, he's gon' be the one that needs to be secured." 17 00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:43,501 But thanks to you, I'm out here securing. 18 00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:48,214 (gasps) Well, I am very proud of you. 19 00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:49,841 By the way, how is your mother? 20 00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:52,469 Well, that's complicated, but it's gon' mean so much 21 00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:54,637 to my moms that Ms. Howard asked after her. 22 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:57,098 Well, sweetheart, it was so good to see you, 23 00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:59,351 and have a great rest of your day. 24 00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:00,560 - You, too, Ms. Howard. - All right. 25 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:01,811 - You too. - Bye. 26 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,064 Bye. (chuckles) 27 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:07,192 See, Mrs. Howard? That is why we do this. 28 00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:08,693 Mold those young minds. 29 00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:11,613 Just create new lives, make those connections. That -- 30 00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:14,949 Sweetheart, I have no idea who that young man was. 31 00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,451 Morning. 32 00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:18,703 (Maker's "Hold'em" playing) 33 00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:22,207 ♪ 34 00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:32,008 (fingers snapping) 35 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:36,012 Well, it looks like a classic Schemmenti good mood day. 36 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,139 You know it! I got my favorite parking spot, 37 00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:40,183 my macchiato is on point, 38 00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:42,060 and my neighbor finally found her cat, 39 00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:44,354 so no more hearing her cry through the walls. 40 00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:46,815 Jacob, are you ready? 41 00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:48,566 (scoffs) I am not just ready, 42 00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:50,402 - I am set and go. - Yes. 43 00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:52,278 Ready for what? What's going on? 44 00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:54,114 We have this little tradition where we read 45 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,074 our Grades for Teachers reviews out loud 46 00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:57,492 when a new one comes in. 47 00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:59,828 Mine are always just incredibly flattering. 48 00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:01,413 There's a Yelp for teachers? 49 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,081 Yeah. Do you want me to help you set up a page? 50 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:04,666 Because as it says here, 51 00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:07,836 I am excellent at explaining complicated ideas. 52 00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:10,213 Oh, no, thanks. That just sounds bad. 53 00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:11,589 Hmm. 54 00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,258 Oh -- Oh, dang. Found a new one. 55 00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:15,301 - Okay, okay. - Mm-hmm. 56 00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:18,221 What's wrong? 57 00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:19,597 JANINE: Uh, it's -- it's nothing. 58 00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:22,100 I just got a C-minus review, 59 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:24,978 which will bring down my overall average 60 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,731 and (clicks tongue) tarnish my reputation forever. 61 00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:29,482 You know? It's like -- It's no big deal, though. 62 00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,192 Well, if traditions were always easy, 63 00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:32,235 everyone would have them. 64 00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:33,778 Everyone does. 65 00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:36,448 "Nice but lacks experience 66 00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:39,034 compared to the other second-grade teacher at Abbott." 67 00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:41,953 Hey! That's me. The other second-grade teacher at Abbott. 68 00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:43,038 (chuckles) 69 00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:45,331 This isn't that bad. One of my reviews was so rude, 70 00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:47,250 the superintendent had to come check on me at home. 71 00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:49,711 Yeah, well, that's you, though. I don't get bad reviews. 72 00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,129 You just did. (chuckles) 73 00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:52,797 (coughs) Girl, please, stop. 74 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:54,299 You're gonna make me spit my coffee out. 75 00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:56,885 Okay, look, ignore this. Reviews on a poorly designed website 76 00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:58,887 do not determine what kind of teacher you are. 77 00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:00,638 Yeah, no. No, I just can't believe 78 00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:03,350 the entire world can read that I'm a bad teacher. 79 00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,810 Hey, kid, listen. There's nothing wrong 80 00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:07,354 with having some room for improvement. 81 00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:09,022 Just take it from me... 82 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:11,775 the other, better, more experienced teacher at Abbott. 83 00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:13,234 (Barbara and Melissa chuckle) 84 00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:17,405 Melissa plays a lot. She jokes. 85 00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:19,032 You know? She's good at it. 86 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,910 Just another thing she's better at than me, 87 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:24,537 according to the reviews. 88 00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:27,332 She's a regular Lucille Ball. (chuckles dryly) 89 00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:28,958 (indistinct conversations) 90 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,044 Oh, hey, man. Can you tell me where I can find the mailboxes? 91 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,879 - Oh, I'll show you. - No, you can just tell me. 92 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,923 No, no, it's good. It's fine. We can walk together. 93 00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:37,676 Ooh, speaking of mail, can we talk USPS? 94 00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:39,552 Have you heard of informed delivery? 95 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:41,846 What up, ol' curly head Arthur from PBS looking boy? 96 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:42,889 (boys snicker) 97 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,599 And good morning to you, Raheem. 98 00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:45,892 You let them talk to you like that? 99 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:48,520 Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but the boys and I are bonding 100 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,689 in the tradition of playing the dozens. 101 00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:51,898 It's also called roasting. 102 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:54,109 Also called, uh, blazing, frying. 103 00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:56,069 Hmm. Lot of cooking terminology. 104 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,612 Look, man. I'm from Baltimore, okay? 105 00:03:57,696 --> 00:03:59,239 All I know is when somebody roasts you, 106 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,116 you got to roast them back. 107 00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:02,242 Our teachers used to roast us. 108 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,035 If they didn't, we wouldn't have respected them. 109 00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,120 You're just getting clowned. 110 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,872 Of course I'm being clowned, okay? 111 00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:09,124 I don't know how to roast. 112 00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:10,291 It's not that hard. 113 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,544 You just kind of have to take what people give you, like... 114 00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:15,714 you ol' mothball- sweater-vest-looking boy. 115 00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:18,174 Hmm. Simple yet cutting. 116 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:20,385 - Mm-hmm. - Okay. Thank you. 117 00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:22,470 I thought you had to bring way more to the table. 118 00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:24,139 In the Dean Martin celebrity roasts -- 119 00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:26,057 Where are the mailboxes? 120 00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:28,601 Oh. Yeah. Come on. 121 00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,186 All right. Attendance time. 122 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:33,189 So, raise your hand if you're not here. 123 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,483 (laughter) 124 00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:37,068 All right. So Nicole's not here. 125 00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:38,236 (intercom beeps) 126 00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:40,864 AVA: Janine, come to my office. 127 00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:42,365 - Ooh! - Ooh! 128 00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:44,367 All right, everybody, uh, settle down. 129 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:47,912 Okay, everyone's who's not here, please be good, all right? 130 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:49,122 I'll be right back. 131 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,791 Mm-hmm. She'll be right back. 132 00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:53,793 Can she see me? 133 00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:56,379 (plastic pops) 134 00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:57,672 Hey, girl. 135 00:04:57,756 --> 00:04:58,882 Hey, Ava. 136 00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:00,550 You know I can't just leave my classroom 137 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:02,010 unattended like this, right? 138 00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:03,428 It's five minutes. It's not like something 139 00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:04,721 could go wrong in five minutes. 140 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:07,223 A lot can go wrong, actually. 141 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,392 If you say so. Anyway, one of Melissa's students 142 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:10,643 will be transferring into your class. 143 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,854 Really? Why? 144 00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:14,773 Girl, I don't know. Things happen all day. 145 00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:16,816 Maybe she wants to be closer to the bathroom. 146 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,109 Maybe she like you more. 147 00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:20,445 Maybe she got some kind of Meek Mill-Drake feud 148 00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:22,155 going on with one of her classmates. I don't know. 149 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:23,656 Maybe she likes me better. 150 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,450 If you really want to know, you should read her file. 151 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,202 I have them arranged by sexiest dad. 152 00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:30,205 Her name is Courtney Pierce, and her daddy is "foine." 153 00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:32,248 (chuckles) No, that's okay. 154 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,792 I don't really like to read the file. 155 00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,210 I like to get to know the child 156 00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:37,003 so I don't have any preconceived notions. 157 00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:39,756 That's an adorable spin on choosing to be unprepared. 158 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,966 I wonder how Melissa's doing. 159 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:44,052 Hope she's not taking this too hard. 160 00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:46,346 - Find out right now. - (intercom beeps) 161 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,682 Melissa, Janine is on her way. 162 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,892 You do know that that's coming out of all the speakers, 163 00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,352 not just a specific classroom, right? 164 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,603 I said you're on your way. 165 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,939 (plastic pops) 166 00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:56,981 (laughter) 167 00:05:57,065 --> 00:06:00,860 Looking like Ron Weasley if he was a pick-up artist. 168 00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:03,613 This man look like he dream in podcasts. 169 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,740 (laughter) 170 00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:07,826 Well, look at you... 171 00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,911 ol' blue shirt... 172 00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,788 tan pants wearing guy. 173 00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:12,914 (Jacob chuckles) 174 00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:16,292 With your bright white shoes 175 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,337 and the laces all tied up into a little bow? 176 00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:23,133 Yeah. (laughs) No way those are accidentally falling off. 177 00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:27,554 Mr. Vampire Weekend, that really hurt my feelings. 178 00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:32,058 (softly) Oh, God. 179 00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:33,852 Raheem, I am -- I am so sorry. 180 00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:35,270 You should be. 181 00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:37,022 With that Twilight-shaped mouth! 182 00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,690 Ha ha! Got 'im! 183 00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:41,818 That's what we're all wearing. It's a uniform. 184 00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:43,611 You ain't even observant, dawg. 185 00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:44,904 (laughter) 186 00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:47,282 They say the first year of teaching is the hardest. 187 00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:49,200 But... 188 00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:51,619 (sighs) What about the second year? 189 00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:54,372 - Minus $1 equals -- - Hey, Melissa. Hey. 190 00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:55,498 - What? - Uh, sorry. 191 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,625 I know you talked to Ava, so this is awkward. 192 00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:59,419 W-Why would it be awkward? 193 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:03,340 Oh, just the whole your student preferring me thing. 194 00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,467 Oh, yeah, no. Not awkward at all. Just... 195 00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:07,385 there's a couple things that you should know about Courtney 196 00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:08,511 before you take her into your class. 197 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,430 I know you're more experienced than I am, 198 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,891 but this transfer kind of proves 199 00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,768 I've got something special in my classroom 200 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,895 that's got the kids a-talkin'. 201 00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:21,608 Courtney, come over here, hon. 202 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:24,069 It's time for you to go with 203 00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:27,072 your very confident new teacher, Ms. Teagues. 204 00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:29,866 Why don't you go get your stuff? (chuckles) 205 00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,451 I'm like the Allen Iverson of teachers, 206 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,745 and you're like that guy he stepped over once. 207 00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:36,206 You mean three-time NBA champion Tyronn Lue? 208 00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:37,957 - That guy? - Yes, you know basketball, 209 00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:41,961 but my point is, maybe I'm not a bad teacher. 210 00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:44,172 Maybe you are. 211 00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:45,256 Okay. 212 00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:47,759 Courtney... 213 00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:50,845 I want you to go and be your wonderful self 214 00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:52,097 with Ms. Teagues, okay? 215 00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:54,224 I have no doubt that you're gonna have 216 00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:56,393 a great time in her class. 217 00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,478 All right. 218 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,021 Have fun. 219 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:04,192 All right. 220 00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:07,654 Oh, look at you all, being so well-behaved. 221 00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,823 Setting a great example for our new student. 222 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:10,990 Hi. I'm Janine. 223 00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,867 - Hi, Janine! - Hi, Janine! 224 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:15,245 Uh, no. She's not Janine. Her name is -- 225 00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:16,788 My name is Janine Teagues. 226 00:08:16,788 --> 00:08:18,832 - Hi, Janine Teagues! - Hi, Janine Teagues! 227 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:19,999 It's not Janine. 228 00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:21,084 Yes, it is. 229 00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:23,253 MELISSA: Courtney? 230 00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:26,089 One of the toughest students I've ever had. 231 00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:28,758 She's gonna eat Janine alive. 232 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:32,012 Okay, everyone, please stand for the Pledge of Allegiance. 233 00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,597 Except for Andrew, who is taking a principled stand 234 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:35,724 against nationalism. 235 00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:37,559 Yes. All right. 236 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:40,270 Everyone else? I... 237 00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:43,398 STUDENTS: I pledge allegiance to the flag 238 00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:46,151 of the United States of Courtney. 239 00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:49,863 And to the Courtney for which it stands, 240 00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:54,534 one nation under Courtney, indivisible, 241 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,996 with Courtney and Courtney for all! 242 00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:02,959 That's right! Nice job. 243 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:05,003 That's right. Nice job. 244 00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:06,796 Courtney, go back to your seat. 245 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,173 But I'm done with all my work. 246 00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:09,257 Go. 247 00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:15,221 Your next word is "smooth." Go, go, go. 248 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:17,390 (kids shouting and cheering) 249 00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:20,310 COURTNEY: Done! 250 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:24,230 - "Rebble"? - It's "ra-bell." 251 00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:25,440 (chalk clatters) 252 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,108 (students laughing) 253 00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:28,610 JANINE: Courtney? 254 00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,779 Courtney, please stop. 255 00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:31,863 Courtney. 256 00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:34,115 - Just -- - (knock on door) 257 00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,950 Hey. Hi. Can I help you? 258 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:38,411 Yeah, I just stopped by to see how Courtney's doing. 259 00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:40,997 Oh, yeah, Courtney is thriving. 260 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,874 - Whole class is, actually. - (students laughing) 261 00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:45,543 She was the missing piece to our little puzzle of learning. 262 00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:47,128 Oh. That's great to hear. 263 00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:49,047 I'm surprised you're not having any problems. 264 00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:51,132 Took me a couple of months to figure out how to keep her 265 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:52,509 from disrupting the class. 266 00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:54,177 Look at you doing it in a couple of hours. 267 00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:55,804 - (laughs nervously) - I guess you really are 268 00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:58,306 the superior teacher. 269 00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:00,016 (students giggling) 270 00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:06,564 I'm teaching a lesson on gravity. 271 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,858 Here's a little secret. 272 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,443 Courtney didn't get transferred out of my class 273 00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:12,153 'cause I couldn't handle her. 274 00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:13,571 She got her parents to transfer her 275 00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:17,158 because I'd already caught on to all her little tricks. 276 00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:18,827 Most of them. 277 00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:21,454 Nobody could have seen that macaroni thing coming. 278 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,248 So I said, "I'm not giving you a ride. 279 00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:25,458 I'm 'bout to drop you off at the airport of life." 280 00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,585 - Oh, I know that's right. - (door opens) 281 00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:29,295 Hey, ladies. Sorry to interrupt. 282 00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:30,547 Uh, you mentioned earlier 283 00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,590 that there was a file on Courtney Pierce? 284 00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:34,884 Yeah. Thicker than a Snicker. Heavy like a Chevy. 285 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,219 - Ooh. - Okay. 286 00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:37,971 Are you having issues with Courtney? 287 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,764 Ah, I wouldn't say -- 288 00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:41,933 (chuckles) She need help. Look at her. 289 00:10:42,017 --> 00:10:43,184 With that "I need help" face. 290 00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:45,603 Okay, this is not an "I need help" face. 291 00:10:45,687 --> 00:10:47,856 It is an "I have it under control" face 292 00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,899 and arm and leg and -- 293 00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:53,194 And that is good, because I cannot help you. 294 00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:56,239 You see, Ava and I have placed a modest wager 295 00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:59,492 on your success with the whole Courtney situation, 296 00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:01,077 and I will not affect the outcome. 297 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,121 Wait. Hold on. You bet on me? 298 00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:05,415 - Well, yeah. (chuckles) - You guys are using 299 00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,333 my performance as a teacher for entertainment? 300 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:09,335 - Mm-hmm. - Mm. 301 00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:12,213 Okay. That's it. You know what? I'm taking everybody's money. 302 00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:13,423 (both laugh) 303 00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,759 Janine, you do know 304 00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:17,719 that that is not how bets work, right? 305 00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:22,474 Ava, I'm gonna need to see that file. 306 00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:25,310 Okay. You don't have to say it all determined. 307 00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:26,770 Nobody's stopping you from seeing the file. 308 00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:29,522 I offered it to you yesterday. Just go in the office and look. 309 00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:31,483 Okay. 310 00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:33,818 - (laughs) - (door opens) 311 00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:37,530 Hey. How's it going? 312 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,199 It's -- Yeah. 313 00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:45,497 (telephone rings) 314 00:11:55,090 --> 00:11:57,133 "Psychological warfare"? 315 00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,969 "Could make a good cult leader someday. 316 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,763 Melissa Schemmenti." 317 00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:05,892 Well, I found Courtney's file, and it is substantial. 318 00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,478 Cannot believe Melissa didn't tell me any of this. 319 00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:11,106 But now that I'm informed, I can handle it. 320 00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:13,108 I'm just gonna have to communicate to Courtney 321 00:12:13,108 --> 00:12:15,777 that this behavior isn't okay. 322 00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:19,155 I bet no one's ever really tried to talk to her, you know? 323 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,448 Meet her where she's at. 324 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,372 Juice? 325 00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:30,166 Apple juice? Really? 326 00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:33,795 Okay. Um... 327 00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:36,548 Courtney, did you know the emotional center 328 00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:39,509 isn't actually in the heart but in the brain? 329 00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:41,386 - Pass. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 330 00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:43,763 Okay. Sit down. Hold on. All right. 331 00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:47,726 You're a leader, Courtney, and maybe that's something 332 00:12:47,726 --> 00:12:50,895 your other teachers didn't see about you, but I do. 333 00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:54,649 I know that when you tie your classmates' shoelaces together 334 00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:56,735 and tell them to dance, 335 00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:58,737 you're just looking for affirmation. 336 00:12:58,737 --> 00:13:01,573 And, Courtney, I will affirm you. 337 00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:04,826 We will sit down together, maybe do a puzzle -- 338 00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:07,746 I bet you love puzzles as much as I do -- 339 00:13:07,746 --> 00:13:11,332 and just work through some of those feelings together. 340 00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:13,460 Okay. 341 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:14,794 JANINE: Okay. 342 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,056 (chuckles) I mean... 343 00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:31,728 So I reached out to her. You know? Sat her down. 344 00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,063 Because at the end of the day, 345 00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:34,397 teaching is just about communicating, 346 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,524 and that's something I live by. 347 00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:37,859 I don't want to compare, but, like... 348 00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:41,905 Barbara, have you ever been roasted by your students? 349 00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:43,656 One, they're 5. 350 00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,241 Two, they respect me. 351 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,952 Three, what would they even say? 352 00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:50,955 Mm. 353 00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:53,416 Hey. I need to talk. Like to a friend. 354 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,628 You know how sometimes when you're being chased by a dog 355 00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:57,962 and you can't tell if it's playing 356 00:13:58,046 --> 00:13:59,506 or if it's trying to bite you? 357 00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:00,924 - No. - But at the same time, 358 00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:02,300 you don't want to stop running, 359 00:14:02,384 --> 00:14:04,344 because if it isn't playing, you're gonna get bit? 360 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,513 Look, I tried roasting my students back, 361 00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:07,597 and it didn't work. 362 00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:11,017 It got way worse and oddly specific. 363 00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:12,394 Come on. It couldn't have been that bad. 364 00:14:12,394 --> 00:14:15,105 They called me "HuffPo-reading gay Pete Buttigieg," 365 00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:18,149 which is repetitive and insulting. 366 00:14:18,233 --> 00:14:19,859 As if I would read a word of Huffington Post 367 00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:21,277 after Arianna stepped down. 368 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,071 You may just have to take the L on this one, man. 369 00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:24,989 I mean, you can't really beat them at their own game. 370 00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:28,076 It's like them challenging you to... 371 00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:29,577 Dungeons & Dragons. 372 00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:32,205 You can't really challenge someone to D&D. 373 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,124 It's more like a cooperative game that's all about 374 00:14:34,124 --> 00:14:35,792 the shared experience rather than winning. 375 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,669 - (gasps) - (fingers snap) 376 00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:41,881 Thank you, you ol' good friendship having man. 377 00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:43,925 (door opens) 378 00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:47,220 Is everything okay? 379 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:48,722 Oh, you tell me. 380 00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:50,724 You got a little sleepyhead over there. 381 00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:53,768 Do you want to know what I do 382 00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:55,645 when a kid falls asleep in my class? 383 00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:57,564 - Sure. - Nothing. 384 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:58,857 'Cause it doesn't happen. (chuckles) 385 00:14:58,857 --> 00:15:00,108 I keep my kids engaged. 386 00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:01,943 Anyway, do you have a second 387 00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:04,237 for me to show you something regarding Courtney? 388 00:15:06,448 --> 00:15:07,741 All right, my little eagles. 389 00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:10,285 We're gonna take quiet time a bit early, okay? 390 00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:12,454 STUDENTS: Yes, Ms. Schemmenti. 391 00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:14,289 I know you didn't pull me out of class 392 00:15:14,289 --> 00:15:15,582 just so you could brag. 393 00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,167 No, of course not. 394 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:23,131 Courtney's teaching us a new word. 395 00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:26,009 (students giggling) 396 00:15:28,803 --> 00:15:30,138 Courtney! 397 00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:31,348 (students giggling) 398 00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:33,433 Look away, y'all. 399 00:15:36,311 --> 00:15:38,021 All right, guys, we're gonna go into 400 00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:40,190 Ms. Schemmenti's class for a little bit 401 00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:42,192 while Mr. Johnson cleans the board 402 00:15:42,192 --> 00:15:45,653 because Courtney decided to use permanent marker 403 00:15:45,737 --> 00:15:47,947 even though dry-erase was right there. 404 00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:50,784 But she knew that. (chuckles) She knew that. 405 00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:52,369 I heard there's a bet going. 406 00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:54,371 Is it too late for me to get in on the action? 407 00:15:58,500 --> 00:15:59,542 (camera shutter clicks) 408 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,544 I went from having one teacher to two. 409 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:02,754 Ain't that some (bleep) 410 00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:04,339 - Courtney! - Courtney! 411 00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:06,216 You know, I'm glad she's in your class now 412 00:16:06,216 --> 00:16:08,510 so you two can throw your little tantrums together. 413 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,096 I'm sorry. Was it not a tantrum 414 00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:13,098 when you sent Courtney to my class 415 00:16:13,098 --> 00:16:15,016 without warning me about her behavioral issues? 416 00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:17,018 Yes, I saw your notes in her file. 417 00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:18,812 I did try to warn you, ya gabbadost, 418 00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:20,397 but you got too big for your britches 419 00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:22,357 and you didn't want to listen. 420 00:16:22,357 --> 00:16:24,859 Well, maybe if you hadn't been making fun of me yesterday, 421 00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:26,403 I wouldn't have gotten defensive. 422 00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:29,030 Janine, I was goofing. 423 00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:30,657 Unlike when you called me a bad teacher, 424 00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,701 something I would never call you. 425 00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,537 You know, I-I know that review hit you hard, 426 00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:36,913 but I didn't deserve that. 427 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,085 (sighs) Okay. 428 00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:46,047 I'm sorry. You're right. You're right. 429 00:16:46,131 --> 00:16:48,508 That review really, really hurt my feelings, 430 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,260 and I took it out on you. 431 00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:51,761 It wasn't even that bad. 432 00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:53,513 It just said you were less experienced. 433 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,932 Listen, if you go look at the Facebook reviews 434 00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:57,851 of my cousin Rocco's hoagie shop, you would think 435 00:16:57,851 --> 00:17:00,395 - the man sold food poisoning. - (chuckles) 436 00:17:00,395 --> 00:17:02,731 But he's gonna keep making hoagies. 437 00:17:02,731 --> 00:17:06,067 You know why? Most people love them. 438 00:17:06,151 --> 00:17:07,694 You got to keep making hoagies. 439 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:12,073 Now, what are we gonna do about this one? 440 00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:13,825 (Janine sighs) 441 00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:18,204 Thank you for your business. 442 00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:19,664 VICK: Ol' I should have been a hooper, 443 00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:21,583 but basketball didn't exist lookin' boy. 444 00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:22,667 (laughter) 445 00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:24,461 1800s Slenderman in the face. 446 00:17:24,461 --> 00:17:26,379 Okay, while these are hilarious, 447 00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:29,424 let's try and incorporate some of the lessons into the roast. 448 00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:32,552 Ol' bullet in the head at Ford's Theatre lookin' boy. 449 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:35,555 My mans got ain't been sleeping four score and seven years ago 450 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,015 bags all up under his eyes. 451 00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:38,933 Abe Lincoln. I'm Abe Lincoln, Mr. Hill. 452 00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:41,353 Yes, yes! Good work, team! 453 00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:42,854 (students cheering) 454 00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:49,652 Yeah, I guess, like, thumbs up is kind of our thing now. 455 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,279 Bye. Don't forget your homework. 456 00:17:51,363 --> 00:17:52,489 - Ms. Schemmenti. - Yes? 457 00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:53,990 Courtney called me stupid. 458 00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:57,077 No, I didn't. I called you "stupendous," you idiot! 459 00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:58,661 - Courtney! - You know what? 460 00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:00,205 I'm just gonna go home and take a nap, 461 00:18:00,205 --> 00:18:02,165 'cause I'm utterly depleted. 462 00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:03,708 What'd she say? 463 00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:05,251 (scoffs) One thing I will say -- 464 00:18:05,335 --> 00:18:07,379 that girl has a fairly advanced vocabulary. 465 00:18:07,379 --> 00:18:09,297 She corrected my math last week. 466 00:18:09,381 --> 00:18:10,507 She threw a stapler first, 467 00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:12,258 but she was right about the math. 468 00:18:12,342 --> 00:18:13,593 You know, when I was going through Part 2 469 00:18:13,677 --> 00:18:15,387 of Courtney's file earlier, 470 00:18:15,387 --> 00:18:17,722 I realized her grades have never dropped. 471 00:18:17,806 --> 00:18:18,890 - Mnh-mnh. - And usually when a kid 472 00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:22,018 is acting out like that, you see it in their performance. 473 00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:23,937 Yeah. That's what makes it tough. 474 00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:25,897 Hard to discipline a kid who's getting straight A's. 475 00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:29,484 All right. (sighs) 476 00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:31,111 So, what if we rewarded her? 477 00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:35,657 You might be onto something there, rookie. 478 00:18:35,657 --> 00:18:38,243 Okay, so if B makes it block, 479 00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:40,704 then C makes it what? 480 00:18:40,704 --> 00:18:42,622 Uh, not quite. Try again. 481 00:18:43,581 --> 00:18:46,167 There you go. Good job. 482 00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:49,004 Wow. You think you know someone. 483 00:18:49,004 --> 00:18:50,922 And then they cheat on you with their thumb. 484 00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:56,386 Ol' Siskel & Ebert two thumbs up lookin' ass boy. 485 00:18:56,386 --> 00:18:57,470 Okay. 486 00:18:58,596 --> 00:19:00,557 You want to bump the (Bleep) Puzzles kid up a grade? 487 00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:02,600 Yes. After talking to Melissa 488 00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:04,894 about how she was able to keep Courtney in line, 489 00:19:04,978 --> 00:19:06,771 we realized the only thing that works 490 00:19:06,855 --> 00:19:08,273 is when she feels challenged. 491 00:19:08,273 --> 00:19:09,357 Are you sure you're not just trying 492 00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:10,817 to dump Courtney on another teacher? 493 00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:13,903 No, no, no. I feel that with a more challenging workload, 494 00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:16,448 Courtney will be much, much easier to handle, 495 00:19:16,448 --> 00:19:18,700 and she won't have time to distract her classmates. 496 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:19,784 MELISSA: Mm-hmm. 497 00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:22,203 Why does that sound so familiar? 498 00:19:22,287 --> 00:19:23,830 Oh. Hold up. 499 00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:27,167 - (drawer closes) - Part 3? 500 00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:29,127 My bad, y'all. She was supposed to skip second grade, 501 00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:30,879 but they told me during Essence Fest. 502 00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:32,464 I missed a lot of paperwork during that month. 503 00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:34,090 Isn't Essence Fest just a weekend? 504 00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:36,801 - Maybe for y'all. - (door opens) 505 00:19:38,136 --> 00:19:40,305 Oh, hey, Barbara! Nothing to see here. 506 00:19:40,305 --> 00:19:43,600 Just Janine going on and on about what a handful Courtney is 507 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,519 and how she can't handle the situation at all. 508 00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:47,979 Is that so? 509 00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:51,149 (clicks tongue) Fine. 510 00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:53,068 I guess technically Janine succeeded. 511 00:19:53,068 --> 00:19:56,363 She figured out that Courtney needs to be bumped up a grade. 512 00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:58,073 Guess you win the bet. 513 00:19:58,073 --> 00:19:59,157 Hmm. 514 00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:02,327 Barbara? 515 00:20:02,327 --> 00:20:03,661 You believed in me? 516 00:20:03,745 --> 00:20:06,289 Janine, why don't you go handle this transfer 517 00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:08,583 so that your class isn't any more disrupted 518 00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:10,210 than it already has been? 519 00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:12,671 Okay. 520 00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:15,590 Mm. 521 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,677 JANINE: It's a heart. 522 00:20:18,677 --> 00:20:21,763 (voice breaking) I learned that from Courtney. 523 00:20:21,763 --> 00:20:24,891 I thought Barbara bet against me, but she didn't. 524 00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:27,143 She actually thinks I'm a great teacher. 525 00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:29,938 Maybe even better than -- 526 00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:33,274 Courtney! Hey, Courtney! What, get -- 527 00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:36,695 How'd you get back in the building?! Courtney! 528 00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:39,572 (Ava sighs) 529 00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:42,492 (telephone rings) 530 00:20:42,492 --> 00:20:44,869 It's barely wet. What you, the CDC? 531 00:20:44,953 --> 00:20:49,082 I will expect some non-brassiere money from you by tomorrow 532 00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:50,375 because, Ava... 533 00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:51,459 Huh? 534 00:20:52,127 --> 00:20:55,255 You do not want to owe me money. 535 00:20:56,631 --> 00:20:57,882 Hmm. 536 00:21:02,512 --> 00:21:04,889 Ohh. Damn! 537 00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:06,933 (sniffs) Mm. 538 00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:12,397 What? 539 00:21:14,566 --> 00:21:17,485 - Captions by VITAC --