1 00:00:01,251 --> 00:00:04,004 Okay, let's move on to "ard." Ard. 2 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:05,630 Right, which means "all right." 3 00:00:05,714 --> 00:00:08,550 So, the kids here use a lot of Philadelphia slang, 4 00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:10,510 or as we call it, "Philly slang." 5 00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:13,722 So I like to incorporate it as sight words, 6 00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:15,515 which are words that kids recognize 7 00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:17,142 without sounding them out. 8 00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:19,644 For instance, "boul" means "boy," 9 00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:21,354 so I'd say like, 10 00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:23,356 "Ooh, I have a crush on boul." 11 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:26,359 Or, Boul Meets World is my favorite show. 12 00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:29,279 "Cheesesteak." Cheesesteak. 13 00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:30,530 And let's go to "boul." 14 00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:32,323 Boul. 15 00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:34,242 Right. Sometimes it's spelled B-U-L, which is interesting. 16 00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:35,827 What is going on in this classroom? 17 00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,579 Hey, Mrs. Howard. 18 00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:39,289 I'm just teaching the kids some sight words. 19 00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:45,879 It's a helpful teaching tool, because these kids use these -- 20 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,715 Jawns. - ...jawns all the time. 21 00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,425 You're abandoning the phonics principle 22 00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:52,552 that these children need. 23 00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:55,305 This is a classroom, not a hoagie stand. 24 00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:56,973 Oh, boom. Hoagie. 25 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,600 Hoagie. 26 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:02,103 We had it on the board, so... 27 00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:03,646 Hm. 28 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:06,399 Okay, kids. 29 00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:09,194 Let us move on to "oldhead," one word. 30 00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:10,987 Oldhead. 31 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,697 Young bouls are so disrespectful. 32 00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:13,740 Mm. 33 00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:28,171 They said that -- Oh, they do. Look. 34 00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:29,464 Excuse me. Excuse me. 35 00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:31,424 What it do, Abbott teaching crew? 36 00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:33,009 Damn, the last time I was up this early 37 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,636 was to cuss out the mailman. 38 00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:36,304 I don't need all them bills coming. 39 00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:38,556 Uh, I thought breakfast was being provided. 40 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,225 Don't act like you don't see these little boxes of cereal 41 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:41,643 right here. 42 00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:43,395 So, listen up. 43 00:01:43,395 --> 00:01:46,022 Your favorite HBIC, AKA me, 44 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,441 has acquired some new learning technology 45 00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:50,402 that will help our little ones with their reading. 46 00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:51,861 Well, the school district mandated it. 47 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,571 It's a city-wide push. 48 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,240 What are you doing here? 49 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,783 This isn't for 6th through 8th grade teachers. 50 00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,034 I'm just here for the camaraderie, 51 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,036 and this tasty breakfast. 52 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,622 You guys, I have been reading up on this, 53 00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:05,333 and our students are gonna get a huge boost 54 00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:06,584 from this software. 55 00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:07,836 I mean, our kids are gonna be reading 56 00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:09,379 at the speed of light. 57 00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:10,839 Well, I, for one, prefer the tried and true methods 58 00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:13,133 over whatever the latest doohickey is. 59 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,218 I mean, I have yet to see the program 60 00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:18,930 that can do what I do by, you know, teaching. 61 00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:22,892 Well, old-school teaching is great, 62 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,770 but the latest doohickey can be a helpful addition. 63 00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:27,564 Yeah, tech has its place. 64 00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:29,816 Like when you haven't been with a man for a few years. 65 00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:34,279 Um, are subs gonna have to do this? 66 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,239 I thought I'd mainly be showing Pixar movies. 67 00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:39,242 You guys, all I'm saying is, we should keep an open mind. 68 00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:41,494 There was a great website called AtoZOneTwoThree 69 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:43,288 that taught me how to read when I was a kid. 70 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:45,290 My parents certainly weren't around to do it. 71 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:48,251 I had to potty-train myself. 72 00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,086 Overshare. 73 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,213 Well, I do not need some young Zuckerburn -- 74 00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:53,631 Zuckerberg. 75 00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:56,009 Pimple-faced kid fresh from the Smart Bar -- 76 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,345 - Genius Bar. - ...telling me how to teach! 77 00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:00,138 Good morning. 78 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:01,514 You're the tech teacher? 79 00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:02,849 Sure am. 80 00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:05,101 Can't keep us old folks down, right? 81 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,020 All right, what I'm providing you with today 82 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,938 will revolutionize your classrooms. 83 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,982 It not only helps in teaching students how to read, 84 00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:13,318 it delivers up-to-the-minute data on their progress 85 00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:15,737 that will be analyzed at the end of each day. 86 00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,739 And the better the results, the more funding we get, 87 00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,282 - so this is good, y'all. - Mm-hmm. 88 00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:20,700 Each of you will get one of these. 89 00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:21,951 New tablets! 90 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,578 Yeah! 91 00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:27,791 Okay, who do you got to bang to get into the analytics annex? 92 00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:30,502 It's really very easy. 93 00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:31,920 Just use the highlight tool 94 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,713 to pinpoint the pronunciation mistakes, 95 00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:36,383 create a word cloud, output a ranks list, 96 00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:39,344 see the percentage of your students that missed that word, 97 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,346 and that'll determine whether it becomes a "TAI," 98 00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:43,306 or "Targeted Area for Improvement." 99 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:44,766 - Easy-peasy, keep it breezy! - Oh. 100 00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:48,937 Hey. How's it going, Barb? 101 00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:51,731 - Oh. Easy-peasy. - Mm-hmm. 102 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,318 Yeah, sure. 103 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:58,029 I am so excited that Barbara is so confused, 104 00:03:58,113 --> 00:04:00,782 because it means I get to help her with something. 105 00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:02,409 I need her help every day, 106 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:03,993 so if I can return the favor just once, 107 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,370 it means I'm no longer a newbie -- 108 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:06,788 I'm her peer. 109 00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:11,751 Gregory. Broseph. Brotato. 110 00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:14,170 Yeah, I'm still, uh -- still finding that. 111 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,006 What's up, man? I'm just looking for some creamer. 112 00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:17,257 Listen, you're the new guy here. 113 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,883 I've been here a month. 114 00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:21,011 I am the second-year vet. I figured I would, you know, 115 00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:23,096 show you a few things around here. 116 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,639 No, I'm just, uh, looking for -- 117 00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:27,017 So, we've got Ms. Cooper over there. 118 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,393 I've been here a year and a half. 119 00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:29,853 She's been pregnant the whole time. 120 00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:31,187 I don't ask questions. 121 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,814 I'll even take powdered creamer. 122 00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:34,190 That's Mrs. Robertson. 123 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,359 Watch out, she will talk your ear off. 124 00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:39,154 And, uh, oh, you know Melissa, of course. 125 00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:42,198 She's, uh -- you know, the Southern Philly type. 126 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,534 'Scuse me? 127 00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:46,244 You talking about me? 128 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:47,495 Yeah, uh -- I was -- 129 00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:49,664 I was saying you are a, uh -- 130 00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:51,332 a -- a Southern Philly Type. 131 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:53,335 - South Philly. - Right. Right. 132 00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:54,878 That's what I said. Right. 133 00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:56,671 Honestly, it's like -- it's like the best part 134 00:04:56,755 --> 00:04:58,381 of our beautiful city. 135 00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,884 I love how you guys will just, like, park anywhere. 136 00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:02,635 Yeah, okay. 137 00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:04,262 You know, I'm actually teaching a lesson right now 138 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:05,680 about the unions in the city 139 00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:07,849 and how many of them started in South Philly. 140 00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,184 Oh, no way. 141 00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:10,643 I know some guys that were part of that. 142 00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:13,897 I'm glad you're teaching that to the kids. 143 00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:16,733 Good job. 144 00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:21,237 Just like I said... 145 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:25,033 she is a shady lady. Mm. 146 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,659 That's why you and me, we got to stick together, man. 147 00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:28,953 You know? Like coffee and creamer. 148 00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:32,916 All right, in. 149 00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:36,795 Ugh. Teach the children to read with this? 150 00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:38,797 I can hardly read this. 151 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,678 Now, who took that picture of me? 152 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,096 Barbara. 153 00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:48,306 Oh, sorry. 154 00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:50,725 Hey, how's it going with the new program? 155 00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:53,103 Oh, it's, uh, a little hard to understand, 156 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:54,729 but I'm getting the hang of it. 157 00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:56,564 Okay, yeah. 158 00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:59,275 Just wanted to check in in case this was tricky for you. 159 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,527 You know, I grew up with this stuff 160 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:01,903 - and it gets me sometimes. - Okay. 161 00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:04,364 I somehow lost my crypto wallet. 162 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,116 But you come from a different generation, 163 00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:08,159 and so it would be totally understandable 164 00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:09,911 if you were having trouble with it. 165 00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,246 Are you kidding me? 166 00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:13,498 I'm Miss Tech, you know. I love tech. 167 00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:16,292 Shop at the App Store. Got a Hotmail. 168 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,086 I once even rode in a Tesla. 169 00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,755 I'm already ahead on the first couple of lessons. 170 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,007 - Wow. - Yeah. 171 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,633 Well, that's great. Can I see? 172 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,468 - No. - Oh. 173 00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:28,471 Janine, you're disturbing my students. 174 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:29,931 I'm -- I'm whispering. 175 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,182 It's just your... 176 00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:32,767 overall presence, 177 00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:35,895 so if you wouldn't mind just excusing yourself? 178 00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:39,524 I'm a little behind on my Hotmail correspondences. 179 00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:41,317 Okay. 180 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:45,155 Barbara says she's doing well, but this program is really hard. 181 00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:47,532 She just has a ton of pride, 182 00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:51,327 so I'm gonna wait for her to come and ask me for help. 183 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,621 Oh, I can't wait. 184 00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:56,833 And that is how union and non-union workers 185 00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:58,710 came together and worked as one 186 00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:04,257 to help solve the labor crisis in South Philly, okay? 187 00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:06,760 All right, we are going to have to 188 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:10,138 grab a noun from the Noun Pool -- 189 00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:12,599 I don't get this. 190 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,392 Sweetheart, neither do I. 191 00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:16,436 Okay, so here's what I'm going to do. 192 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,730 I'm going to continue teaching my students how to read 193 00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:21,232 like I have been for 30 years. 194 00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:25,236 I'll input whatever information I need to into that program, 195 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,489 and then I'll just keep doing what I have been doing, 196 00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:31,326 and everybody else will just have to back off. 197 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,163 Hey, Hill. 198 00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:36,790 That lesson, that was garbage. 199 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,249 - That's not what happened. - Okay, well, 200 00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:39,668 I've read several books on the subject. 201 00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:42,087 I think I know the history of the lesson. 202 00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:44,047 Well, me and my family lived it, so I think we know the history. 203 00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:45,548 I've also listened to several podcasts. 204 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,300 Look, how about this? 205 00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:49,219 I know a guy who was actually a captain back in the day. 206 00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:51,012 How about I hook you up, he can come to the class 207 00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:53,181 and do like an eyewitness account for the kids? 208 00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:57,018 Unexpected, but I am so happy 209 00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,603 Melissa's bringing in a police captain. 210 00:07:58,687 --> 00:07:59,979 He's gonna be able to talk to the kids 211 00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:01,564 about how this is done peacefully. 212 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,817 I'm just really happy Vinny, the strike captain, 213 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,485 is out of jail so he can do this. 214 00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,654 It's also gonna count towards his community service. 215 00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:10,907 Just 100 more hours, and his record's cleared. 216 00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:13,034 Good morning. 217 00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:14,619 Come on down. 218 00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:15,912 You ready for a good day? 219 00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:17,497 That's what I'm talking about. 220 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,457 Morning, Abbott Elementarians! 221 00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:22,460 It turns out one of our teachers is just too good! 222 00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:24,421 According to our new reading program, 223 00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,089 Mrs. Howard's kindergartners are reading 224 00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:28,466 - at a 4th grade level! - No. 225 00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:31,553 Mrs. Howard, you are, once again, that girl. 226 00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:32,971 Barbara? 227 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:37,225 No. No. No. Okay. Thank you. 228 00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,476 No. Okay, that's enough. 229 00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,854 When I say "Mrs.," you say "Howard." 230 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,230 Mrs... Howard! 231 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,648 - Mrs... - Howard! 232 00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:46,901 - Mrs... - Howard! 233 00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:52,157 Hey, Barbara. 234 00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:54,242 I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. 235 00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:56,327 You clearly knew what you were doing, 236 00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:59,873 and I arrogantly assumed -- or hoped, rather -- 237 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:03,126 that you would need my help, but once again, I need yours. 238 00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:06,046 You are officially Yoda with better edges. 239 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,673 Okay, which one of you Young Sheldons 240 00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:10,008 is gonna get me to Mars 241 00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:11,509 witcha little smart reading selves? 242 00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:13,678 There's actually no need for all of this. 243 00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,305 I'm just doing my job. 244 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:16,598 But don't forget, it was your girl 245 00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:18,141 that brought in that dope program. 246 00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:19,976 Oh, my God. Look at me, not even taking credit 247 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,228 for something I had so much to do with. 248 00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:25,899 Barbara, you know what? Since so many of us need help, 249 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,692 what if you put on, like, a little presentation 250 00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:29,110 for the rest of us? 251 00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:30,570 You're thinking too small, Janine. 252 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,197 We should have an assembly and have 253 00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:34,115 one of Barbara's students read to the whole school. 254 00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:36,117 Show these little illiterate fools how to literate. 255 00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:38,036 Yes! Not the second part. Yes! 256 00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,412 Okay. 257 00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:41,206 We can have Khalil read. 258 00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:42,665 No, not Khalil. 259 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,334 Everybody knows that little dork can read. 260 00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:46,711 I was thinking him. Whoo-hoo! 261 00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:51,383 5 years old, reading at a 4th grade level? 262 00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:53,635 You performed a damn miracle on that boy. 263 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,471 That was a pretty tough time for me -- 264 00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:58,139 Hey. He's here. He's on his way in. 265 00:09:58,223 --> 00:09:59,516 Oh. Oh. That's fantastic, Melissa. 266 00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:00,934 Okay, let me, um, set him up for the -- 267 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,394 Uh, students. 268 00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:06,147 We are about to hear from a heroic, upstanding 269 00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:07,982 citizen of this city, okay, who helped to peacefully end 270 00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:09,359 one of -- 271 00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:11,945 Kids, meet Vinny Romano. 272 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,863 Call me The Tire Iron. 273 00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:19,536 Uh, hello, Mr. Iron. 274 00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:23,039 Um, is there anything else we could call you? 275 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,916 Nope. 276 00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:29,337 Okay, come on now. Here we go. 277 00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:31,756 I don't think Will is ready to read just yet, 278 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,800 but I have read from this book so many times, 279 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,177 he practically has it memorized. 280 00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:38,513 I'm sure he'll have no problem. 281 00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:41,766 - "Jack...and... Jill..." - Yes. 282 00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:45,603 - "...went up the..." - The. 283 00:10:45,687 --> 00:10:51,192 Okay, Will, it's your name with an "H." 284 00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:52,485 Hilliam! 285 00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,362 No. 286 00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:56,823 Barbara, can I borrow some gold stars? 287 00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,324 I gave all mine out this morning. 288 00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,993 My kids are amazing. Uh, I'll even take red. 289 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,327 Oh, sure. 290 00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:02,954 Thank you. 291 00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:06,082 Oh, well, if it isn't Abbott's brightest little reader. 292 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:08,168 Are you excited to show the school your skills? 293 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:10,086 Yeah? 294 00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:16,801 - Here you go. - Hmm. 295 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,012 - Is he okay? - Oh, he's fine. 296 00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:20,805 This child has just gained entry 297 00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:22,766 into the magical world of books, 298 00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:26,394 so please, Janine, allow him time to celebrate. 299 00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:28,897 Okay. Yeah. 300 00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:30,398 Good morning, kids. 301 00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:34,819 Good morning to you all, as well. 302 00:11:37,489 --> 00:11:38,698 Subbing here has been... 303 00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:39,949 fine. 304 00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:43,453 I haven't even gotten past teaching the kids my name, 305 00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:45,455 let alone that confusing reading program. 306 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:47,832 I'm hoping once they learn those things, 307 00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:50,001 then we can just start watching movies. 308 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,505 - Hey, Gregory. - Hey. 309 00:11:53,505 --> 00:11:54,839 Hi. 310 00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:56,758 Um, how are you settling in? 311 00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:58,009 - It's going well. - Yeah? 312 00:11:58,093 --> 00:11:59,844 I'm figuring out where everything is, 313 00:11:59,928 --> 00:12:02,222 - who everyone is. - Yeah. Well, I'm Janine. 314 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,516 That I know. 315 00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:08,144 Hmm... 316 00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:11,272 Uh, my gosh. How are you doing 317 00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:12,649 with this new reading program? 318 00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:14,109 Oh. I'm not gonna lie. 319 00:12:14,109 --> 00:12:15,402 It's got me even more confused 320 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,112 than I already was teaching here. 321 00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:19,531 I cannot get past a single lesson without an error message. 322 00:12:19,531 --> 00:12:21,825 - It's really annoying. - Why don't we get together 323 00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:23,201 - after school... - Mm-hmm. 324 00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:24,494 ...and we can figure it out? 325 00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:27,372 Um, I would love that. 326 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:28,790 You kidding me? 327 00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:30,083 Oh, my God, but, shoot. My boyfriend 328 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,584 is picking me up after school today. 329 00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:32,961 - Oh. - You know what? 330 00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:34,212 You can come hang with us. 331 00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:35,880 I mean, we're just going to IKEA. 332 00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:37,674 You can help us pick out a bed. 333 00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:40,301 Oh, okay. Yeah, um... 334 00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:42,095 Oh, God. Um... 335 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,596 I actually have somebody picking me up after school. 336 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,056 - Oh. - She's a girl... 337 00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,516 - Oh. - She's a woman, I mean. 338 00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:47,851 Like, it's a car full of women and... 339 00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:50,061 What? 340 00:12:50,145 --> 00:12:52,105 Nothing. 341 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:55,525 Oh. Okay, well, see you later. I'll see you around school. 342 00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:56,901 Yeah, yeah. All right, you, too. 343 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:58,403 Hey, enjoy the bed. 344 00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:00,280 - Oh, we will. - Ha! 345 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,115 Uh, I was just kidding. But see you later! 346 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,200 - Uh-huh. - Bye. 347 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:08,538 So hundreds of us come piling off this bus, right? 348 00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:10,331 And the punk firefighters, 349 00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:12,417 they didn't even show their pretty little faces, you know? 350 00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:15,712 And the pigs, they were mad 'cause we were throwing rocks. 351 00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:17,589 It's like, hey, just relax. 352 00:13:17,589 --> 00:13:18,965 They're just freakin' rocks, you know? 353 00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:22,719 So, anyway, we tell that, uh, lousy, stinkin'... 354 00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:24,179 He's great, right? 355 00:13:24,179 --> 00:13:25,972 Why did you bring him here? 356 00:13:26,056 --> 00:13:28,141 - Uh, didn't we agree to this? - I thought you were bringing 357 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,268 a police captain. 358 00:13:30,352 --> 00:13:31,936 Someone to talk about how the union worked together in peace? 359 00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:33,563 That's not the real story. This is the truth. 360 00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:35,815 He's giving them an eyewitness account to history. 361 00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:38,151 Eyewitness? I think the term is "accomplice." 362 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,362 This is the problem I have with people like you. 363 00:13:40,362 --> 00:13:41,946 You want to romanticize this city, 364 00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,615 but you won't acknowledge the truth. 365 00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:44,991 Like, you want to run up the Rocky steps, 366 00:13:45,075 --> 00:13:46,951 but you can't take a punch in the face. 367 00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:48,411 I can take a punch in the face. 368 00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:49,871 What -- What -- What are you saying? 369 00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:52,165 I'm some kind of, like, hipster poseur? 370 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:55,418 Look, I care, okay? I am here, teaching, every day. 371 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,587 No, I'm saying you can't teach the kids right 372 00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,631 if you don't respect where they're from. 373 00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:01,257 It's about respect. 374 00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:05,178 Me and the rest of the class are going on strike 375 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,180 until there are no more pop quizzes. 376 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,394 Lights. 377 00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:16,856 We are here to celebrate Barbara's genius kindergartners. 378 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:19,567 This is a tremendous opportunity for this school. 379 00:14:19,651 --> 00:14:22,612 Before we begin, I would like to detail all the ways 380 00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,948 that I personally made this happen. 381 00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:26,533 It all started when I was watching Coach Carter 382 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,159 for the 17th time. Now... Jack fell down 383 00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:30,995 and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. 384 00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:32,247 Perfect! 385 00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:34,666 Now, when we get up on stage, 386 00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:38,128 you're gonna do it just like that, okay? 387 00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:40,588 No. And no dancing. 388 00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:43,842 But that's what I do, Ms. Howard! 389 00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:45,218 Hey, Mrs. Howard. 390 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,845 Hey, after the assembly, 391 00:14:46,845 --> 00:14:49,055 do you think you can come help me with the program? 392 00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:50,849 My kids are struggling, 393 00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:52,100 and I know I ask you for help all the time, 394 00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,351 but what can I say? 395 00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:54,602 You're the best. 396 00:14:54,686 --> 00:14:56,354 - Janine -- - Sometimes I wonder 397 00:14:56,438 --> 00:14:57,647 if I put you on too high a pedestal, 398 00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:59,149 but then I think it's not high enough. 399 00:14:59,149 --> 00:15:01,401 I say, "Janine, she's just a person like you --" 400 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,652 Anyway... - You know what? 401 00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:05,196 I'm sorry, I'm rambling. You make -- 402 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:06,656 I'm sorry. 403 00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:08,992 You make me want to be a better teacher. 404 00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:12,829 Okay. 405 00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:14,998 I'm starting to forget the words. 406 00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:16,750 Oh, gotta go! 407 00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,293 Like, look at this guy get a whole movie about him. 408 00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:20,003 I've done more for this school in one year 409 00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:21,671 than he did for the whole movie, so I -- 410 00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:24,257 Okay, thank you. Oh, I guess it's time to go. 411 00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:26,009 That kid's a reading fool. 412 00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:28,386 Good afternoon, Abbott. 413 00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:33,058 My student, William, will be reading Jack and Jill. 414 00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:35,268 Oh! Change of plans. 415 00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:37,312 My copy of Michelle Obama's book just came in, 416 00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:40,106 and since Will reads at a 4th grade level, 417 00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:42,067 - that shouldn't be a problem. - Oh, no. I really think 418 00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:43,902 that Will would prefer to read -- 419 00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:45,445 Don't nobody want to hear about pails and water and whatnot. 420 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:47,405 We want to hear what "Michelle O" got to say. 421 00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:48,990 I hope there's a section in there 422 00:15:49,074 --> 00:15:51,159 about her meet cute with my man, Barry Hussein. 423 00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,786 All right. 424 00:15:55,789 --> 00:16:00,418 Okay. Here goes. 425 00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:05,048 Okay, that's enough. 426 00:16:05,048 --> 00:16:07,884 Everybody, um, my student, Will, 427 00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:12,347 is a wonderful student and dancer, 428 00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:15,350 but he cannot read this book just yet. 429 00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:18,937 The truth is, I was actually able to log into the program, 430 00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:21,773 but, um, I was just pushing buttons. 431 00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:23,525 I did not mean to say 432 00:16:23,525 --> 00:16:27,070 that they could read at a 4th grade level. 433 00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:30,740 I know how to teach these kids how to read. 434 00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:33,827 I just can't use that program. 435 00:16:35,453 --> 00:16:37,330 So I lied. 436 00:16:39,249 --> 00:16:42,002 I can't believe Barbara lied to me. 437 00:16:43,086 --> 00:16:45,088 Normally, I encourage cheating, but, girl, 438 00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:46,965 you gots to let me know. 439 00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:48,591 Barbara. Who would have thought? 440 00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:54,222 Hey, Barbara. Another great Abbott Elementary assembly. 441 00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:57,976 Um... 442 00:16:57,976 --> 00:17:00,854 Why wouldn't you let me help you? 443 00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,814 I was handling it the best way I could. 444 00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:05,108 By lying instead of letting me help you? 445 00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:06,860 That is not what this is about. 446 00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:09,195 Then what is it about? Because I don't get it. 447 00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:16,786 I am good at this job, and I know how to do it well, 448 00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:19,789 but admitting that I couldn't figure this program out, 449 00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:23,251 it was like I was saying, "I am getting too old." 450 00:17:23,335 --> 00:17:26,171 And you don't know what that feels like -- 451 00:17:26,171 --> 00:17:29,382 all these new people and this new tech. 452 00:17:29,466 --> 00:17:30,967 It just made me feel like 453 00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:32,761 I was being pushed out to sea. 454 00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:37,182 Okay, well, if you're being pushed out, 455 00:17:37,182 --> 00:17:41,019 then I'm being pushed out, too, because it's hard for me. 456 00:17:41,019 --> 00:17:43,605 It's hard for all of us, even the kids, 457 00:17:43,605 --> 00:17:45,690 and they come out of the womb selling NFTs. 458 00:17:45,774 --> 00:17:49,027 See? I don't even know what that is. 459 00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:51,321 So I guess I'm just an oldface. 460 00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:53,990 - Oldhead. - And that, too. 461 00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:56,076 I don't know what NFT means, either. 462 00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:57,911 Hm. 463 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:05,085 What if we figured out this stuff together? 464 00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:09,339 I'd like that. 465 00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:12,759 Okay. 466 00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:16,805 Are we having a moment right now? 467 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:20,308 Are those jelly beans on your belt? 468 00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:25,480 I wanted to teach Barbara something so bad 469 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:28,733 that I never considered what she might be going through. 470 00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:31,861 But we did have a little bonding moment back there. 471 00:18:31,945 --> 00:18:34,030 I ruined it, but it happened. 472 00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,615 You got that, right? 473 00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:38,827 Hey. 474 00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:41,287 I brought you some lasagna as a peace offering. 475 00:18:41,371 --> 00:18:42,789 You know, I don't just eat Italian, 476 00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:44,624 or am I a stereotype to you? 477 00:18:44,708 --> 00:18:46,710 Oh, my God, no. Of course not. I'll -- I'll throw it out. 478 00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:49,087 Hey, hey. What am I, an idiot? Give it to me. 479 00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:54,259 - Oh! - Um. 480 00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:56,636 Melissa, I... 481 00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:00,473 I made some dumb assumptions about you, about South Philly. 482 00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:03,727 I was condescending. Basically, I was a jerk. 483 00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:06,438 I wish my ex-husband could ever admit that much. 484 00:19:06,438 --> 00:19:08,481 Well, I'm really sorry. 485 00:19:08,565 --> 00:19:10,817 Listen, you're trying to sanitize this place 486 00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,402 and its history -- it doesn't need it. 487 00:19:12,402 --> 00:19:15,071 This is who we are, the good, the bad, and the ugly. 488 00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:17,615 Tire Iron, of course, representing the ugly. 489 00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:20,201 Well, I wouldn't say that... to his face. 490 00:19:20,285 --> 00:19:22,662 Hey, I know you mean well, hon. 491 00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:24,622 You want the best for your kids. 492 00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:27,334 Just next time, have a more open mind, that's all. 493 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:29,711 I will. And -- And thank you. 494 00:19:29,711 --> 00:19:32,005 My students got a lot out of what Vinny had to say. 495 00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:33,715 - Oh, good. - They collectively bargained, 496 00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:35,008 and they all have pensions now. 497 00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:38,470 Solid. 498 00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:42,557 - But... - There you go! 499 00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:44,184 - Yes! - Yes! 500 00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:47,312 It can be daunting when a new technology is introduced 501 00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:49,481 and it's changing the way you do things, 502 00:19:49,481 --> 00:19:51,483 but this is the future. 503 00:19:51,483 --> 00:19:53,735 - I got in. - I've mastered it. 504 00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:55,111 Girrrrllls... 505 00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:56,738 and Young Idris. 506 00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:58,740 Turns out the software we've been using 507 00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:01,117 was invented by the Pennsylvania Penal System 508 00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:02,494 to collect data for prisons. 509 00:20:02,494 --> 00:20:04,079 Prisons? 510 00:20:04,079 --> 00:20:05,538 Something about the correlation 511 00:20:05,622 --> 00:20:07,290 between lower reading levels 512 00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:08,708 and the amount of prison beds they're supposed to build? 513 00:20:08,792 --> 00:20:09,959 Oh, my God. 514 00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,336 Apparently, it's illegal. 515 00:20:11,336 --> 00:20:15,173 I am just as disgusted as you all are. 516 00:20:15,173 --> 00:20:16,883 Disgraceful. 517 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:19,135 You're gonna sell those, aren't you? 518 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:21,763 And what would you rather I do, Melissa? 519 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:26,351 That's a shame. I really liked that feature 520 00:20:26,351 --> 00:20:30,605 where I could teach a whole class on just one letter. 521 00:20:30,689 --> 00:20:32,232 You know what? 522 00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:35,652 I think I might know something we can use instead. 523 00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:36,903 - It's pretty simple. And then... - Very. 524 00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,154 ...the fun thing about this is... 525 00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:41,783 "At 54, I'm still in progress, 526 00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:44,786 and I hope I always will be." 527 00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:46,788 - Did he just -- - Oh, my God. 528 00:20:46,788 --> 00:20:48,331 - You -- You just read! - You just read! 529 00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:49,582 He just read! 530 00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:51,292 - You're a baby genius! - Yes! 531 00:20:51,376 --> 00:20:54,295 - Wow. - Ooh, yes! 532 00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:55,755 Oh, my goodness! 533 00:20:57,007 --> 00:20:58,842 Yes, yes! 534 00:21:00,135 --> 00:21:02,345 "Failure is a feeling 535 00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:06,850 long before it becomes an actual result." 536 00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:08,560 Mm. I know that's right. 537 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:09,936 Can I have a break? 538 00:21:10,020 --> 00:21:11,604 No, keep reading. It's just getting good. 539 00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:15,400 Mnh-mnh-mnh. 540 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,944 Absolutely not. Let's go. 541 00:21:18,028 --> 00:21:19,487 - Come on, Barbara! - Come on. 542 00:21:21,281 --> 00:21:23,700 You owe me an Audible membership! 543 00:21:26,536 --> 00:21:30,290 Captioned by VITAC --