1 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,303 [Distant traffic ambience] 2 00:01:19,538 --> 00:01:21,331 [Phone line ringing] 3 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:28,922 Joe: Hey, Lola. 4 00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:30,799 Checking in from Idaho. 5 00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:35,679 Other than my right foot being one gigantic blister, I'm okay. 6 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:38,473 I'll just have to fight through it. 7 00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:40,976 Fight it out, will it out. 8 00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:43,812 I'll call you again from twin falls, okay? 9 00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:45,939 I miss you. Hug Joseph for me. 10 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,665 [Truck horn blares] What the fuck? 11 00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:05,709 Fucking... you motherfucker! 12 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:06,960 Hey, you all right? 13 00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,629 Yeah, I'm all right. 14 00:02:08,712 --> 00:02:10,815 See, that's why you need to do what mom tells you to do. 15 00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:12,674 Walk against the traffic. What? 16 00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:14,551 You're 15, all right? I'm 45. 17 00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,404 You think I don't know what I'm doing out here? 18 00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:18,972 No I don't. That's why I'm with you. 19 00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:21,058 [In distinct chattering] 20 00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:30,192 We... we have with us tonight Joe bell, 21 00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:32,194 all the way from la grande, Oregon. 22 00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:34,946 Joe's here to talk to us tonight about tolerance. 23 00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:36,549 Let's, uh, give him a round of applause. 24 00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:38,367 [Applause] 25 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:43,455 Joe: Uh... 26 00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:46,555 Good afternoon. Thanks for having me here. 27 00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:51,088 Ijotted down a couple of things 28 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,882 I want to chat with you guys about, um... 29 00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:56,385 You know, a lot of people don't think it's a big deal 30 00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:59,096 to make fun of other people... 31 00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:03,433 Um, who are different from you. 32 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:06,186 You know, bullying and intolerance 33 00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:08,271 can have a deadly effect. 34 00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:10,649 And I'm here because I'm walking across america 35 00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:12,234 on behalf of my son, jadin, 36 00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:14,695 to speak out against bullying. 37 00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,406 All right? Now it's important... 38 00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:19,950 Is it okay if I take this? 39 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:23,078 I don't want to break it. [Feedback squeals] 40 00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:26,331 You know, it's important for people to understand, 41 00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:31,461 or understand how hurtful it is to harass and torment people 42 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:35,382 who aren't the same as you. 43 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:37,968 And that understanding begins at home 44 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,886 with the parents and families. 45 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:41,596 All right? 46 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,700 Parents out there, just let your kids be who they are, 47 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,350 and it'll all be fine. 48 00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:47,453 You tell them you love them no matter what, all right? 49 00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:48,871 Because that's what they need to know. 50 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,147 All right? 51 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,898 Anybody have any questions for me? 52 00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:01,700 Okay, we" please follow me on Facebook 53 00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:04,369 and share my message with your friends. 54 00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:06,538 Thank you, guys. 55 00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:08,415 [Applause] 56 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:09,583 Thank you. 57 00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:19,134 [Groans] 58 00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:20,761 Shit. Hey! 59 00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:23,054 Jadin: Yeah? Why won't this thing work? 60 00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:25,432 [Laughs] Come on. 61 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:26,767 You need any help? 62 00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:28,602 I'm done now. 63 00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,228 I'm useless. Get in, get in, get in. 64 00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:32,355 [Jadin grunts] 65 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,232 Jadin: I'm laying here with you? 66 00:04:34,316 --> 00:04:36,985 Yeah. You're stuck with me. 67 00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:38,403 Get your feet off my pillow! 68 00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:40,655 [Jadin laughs] Joe: Oh, shit! Whoa! 69 00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:41,990 [Vehicles passing] 70 00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:52,042 [Sighs] 71 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,517 Jadin: What was that last night, huh? 72 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,977 "Understanding begins at home"? 73 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,773 Whose home? Not ours. 74 00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:16,149 Joe: That's the way it was. 75 00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:18,610 Jadin: No, not for me it wasn't. 76 00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:21,780 "Just be who you are and it'll all be fine." 77 00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:24,449 How can you say that when you know it's a lie? 78 00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:26,827 Look at that resolution on this bad boy. 79 00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:28,620 Isee it. Huh? 80 00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:30,705 Big TV. Oh, yeah. 81 00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:31,998 Hey, don't worry, 82 00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:33,917 the washing machine's coming next. 83 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,978 [Laughs] Yeah, I'm not gonna hold my breath on that! 84 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:38,755 Hey, I'm getting one of these. Don't hook up the vhs. 85 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,298 We ain't gonna use that shit. 86 00:05:40,382 --> 00:05:41,901 Well, there's plenty of holes back there. 87 00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:43,468 Hey. Lola: What? 88 00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:44,761 Get out of the way, man. 89 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,430 All right, what can I get anybody? 90 00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:48,890 Hey, come on. Hey. What? 91 00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:50,734 Sit with me for a few minutes and enjoy this. 92 00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:53,854 No, game time's in an hour. The food can wait, come on. 93 00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:56,731 Jadin: Hey, dad, can I talk to you for a minute? 94 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:59,317 What? Lola: He needs to talk to you. 95 00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:01,761 Honey, I'm talking to you. Can I please talk to you just...? 96 00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:03,655 Now? Yes, now. 97 00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:06,449 You've got to be shitting me. All right, then, talk to me. 98 00:06:10,245 --> 00:06:13,206 Can we please talk outside or out back? 99 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:16,418 You gotta be shitting me. Hey, don't touch the remote. 100 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,586 All right. 101 00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:24,426 Well? Can you just give me a second. 102 00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:26,070 That goddamn TV ain't gonna watch itself. 103 00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:27,637 Well, mom already knows. 104 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:30,932 Knows what? What? 105 00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:33,435 Knows that I'm getting picked on by these guys at school. 106 00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:36,146 Why is that? 107 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,693 I don't know, because I'm not like them? 108 00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,796 It's gotta be more than that. That doesn't make sense. 109 00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:45,506 Why aren't you like them? Because I'm just... 110 00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:47,616 I'm different. I'm just... Because why? 111 00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:50,160 Because I'm not like them. That's not an answer, jadin. 112 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,953 Doesn't make any sense. Because I'm gay. 113 00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:09,638 You remember when I took you boys to the y? 114 00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:11,348 Hmm? I put boxing gloves on you both 115 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,891 and made you Duke it out. 116 00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:14,809 You need to know how to clean anybody's clock. 117 00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:17,520 Anybody that messes with you. Didn't I teach you anything? 118 00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,488 I don't want to spend my high school 119 00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:28,591 duking it out with guys who just don't agree with me. 120 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,200 I can fight someone one on one, 121 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,993 but I can't fight an entire school. 122 00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:34,162 Well, if I got to go down there and kick the fuck 123 00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:35,925 out of them little sons of bitches, I will! 124 00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:41,836 You know what? We're gonna let nature take its course. 125 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,588 All right? 126 00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:46,424 This isn't anybody else's business anyway, is it? 127 00:07:46,508 --> 00:07:48,426 Don't talk about it with the other kids. 128 00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:50,529 Or with other people. You mind your own damn business. 129 00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,073 It'll all be fine. It'll work itself out. 130 00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,473 Lola: Joe. 131 00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:55,196 Joe: What? It's not gonna work itself out. 132 00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:57,225 Joe: What am I supposed to do? Not talking about it 133 00:07:57,268 --> 00:07:59,062 is not gonna help. Joe: It's gonna be fine. 134 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,582 Lola: None of this is his fault. Joe: I didn't say that it was. 135 00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:05,568 Lola: The only thing he needs to know is that his family loves him. 136 00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,862 This family loves you. You're stating the obvious here. 137 00:08:07,946 --> 00:08:10,227 Lola: It's not that obvious. You can say it too, you know. 138 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,118 Joe: He knows I love him. 139 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,496 I love you. You... 140 00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:18,415 You know that. 141 00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:22,711 Are we done here now? 142 00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:39,811 Jimmy: Here you go. 143 00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:41,730 You fucking with my settings? 144 00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:45,191 Jimmy: I was just trying to see if I could figure it out. 145 00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:47,068 Lola! 146 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:48,695 [Sniffles] 147 00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:50,321 I'm getting a beer. 148 00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:55,577 [Fridge door opens] 149 00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:05,545 Jimmy: Hey, just don't get all bent out of shape about it, Joe. 150 00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:06,796 He's just a kid. 151 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,256 Joe: What's that supposed to mean? 152 00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:10,759 I mean, so he's playing a little grab-ass, 153 00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:13,261 stirring up some trouble. It's not a big deal. 154 00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:15,031 What are you trying to say, this is a phase? 155 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,074 The point is, I know what he's in for now, all right? 156 00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:19,285 I just don't want him out there damn near broadcasting it. 157 00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:21,811 You know where we live. Jimmy: I know. 158 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,856 I'm just saying, kids are designed to drive you nuts. 159 00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:27,400 [Laughs] He might just grow out of it. 160 00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:32,906 Marcie & jadin: Go, cougars! 161 00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:35,283 Let's go, cougars! 162 00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:39,496 Let's go, cougars! 163 00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:42,415 What in the hell? Hey, Lola, come here. 164 00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:45,210 Lola: What? Come here! 165 00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:47,170 I'm coming. What is it? 166 00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:48,588 You tell me. What is this? 167 00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:51,174 What? He's practicing his cheers. 168 00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:53,527 He's just going to do his cheers out there in the front yard? 169 00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:55,136 We told him he could join the squad... 170 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,721 But in the front yard? 171 00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:59,390 Let him be, Joe. It's his first game this week. 172 00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,392 Why not? Hell no, hell no. No, no, no. 173 00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:02,644 Lola: Joe... Joe. 174 00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:04,062 Mm-hmm. Lola: Joe. 175 00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:07,190 Joe: Front yard. Oh, for god's sakes. 176 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,751 Let's go, cougars, let's go! Hey, son? 177 00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,026 Yeah? Could you...? 178 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,670 Would you mind practicing in the backyard? 179 00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:12,974 It's hard for me to hear the TV. 180 00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:17,450 You're out in front here yelling. 181 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,244 And I can't hear the television. 182 00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:22,038 Can you not just turn it up? Don't tell me what to do. 183 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,165 Your mother and I been supporting this cheerleading, 184 00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:25,768 but you need to practice in the backyard. 185 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,127 [Whispering] What's his problem? 186 00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:28,729 Why can't we just practice in the front? 187 00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,213 Get your ass in the backyard now. 188 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:31,649 Can't you ever just shut the fuck up 189 00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:33,007 and do what you're told? 190 00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:34,509 I thought my home life was unstable. 191 00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:37,804 Go ahead. Follow Marcie. 192 00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:45,353 You better tell Marcie to stop running her mouth, 193 00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:47,605 or I'm gonna put a foot in her ass. 194 00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:49,274 Oh, okay. 195 00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:56,322 Joe: Come here. Come sit with me. 196 00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:57,490 I'm doing my crossword. 197 00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:52,295 Joe: I'm going to try to be better. 198 00:11:57,675 --> 00:11:58,843 I love you. 199 00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:02,680 I love you too. 200 00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,141 I know. 201 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,670 Jadin: I got to give you credit, dad. At least you're persistent. 202 00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:18,696 Joe: Well, I'm walking all this way 203 00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:21,091 because that's where you told us you wanted to live, remember? 204 00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:22,951 Jadin: Oh, yeah. New York City. 205 00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:25,078 Joe: Yeah, your big dream. 206 00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:27,914 Mm-hmm. I mean, obviously. 207 00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,291 Why obviously? 208 00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,919 Why not? Think about it, if you were me, 209 00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:37,548 would you rather live in la grande or New York City? 210 00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:40,134 Well, I bet you'll feel more comfortable in New York. 211 00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:41,987 Yeah. I'm sure you're right. That's the point. 212 00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:43,405 All right, well, just for the record, 213 00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:44,806 I happen to love la grande. 214 00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:46,242 So, you know, why don't you just...? 215 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,601 Okay, no, uh-uh. There's no comparison. 216 00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:50,687 There's no comparison. Well, I... 217 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,564 Okay, what does la grande have? 218 00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:56,067 Nothing. Exactly. What does New York have? 219 00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:58,736 It has every kind of food, 220 00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:01,572 every kind of people, every kind of pizza. 221 00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:03,199 We got pizza in la grande. 222 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,703 It's got skyscrapers and Broadway and... Stefani. 223 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,037 I mean, hello? Stefani. 224 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,622 Who's Stefani? 225 00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,791 Stefani joanne Angelina germanotta. 226 00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:15,044 What? Who is that? 227 00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:17,630 Gaga, dad. 0h. 228 00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:19,132 Lady gaga. 229 00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:21,509 Yeah, yeah. And, you know, of course... 230 00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:23,153 Of course she's proud of how she grew up. 231 00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:25,555 I mean, she grew up in New York. 232 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,682 Only a new yorker could write that song. 233 00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:29,017 Well, don't start. 234 00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,420 Oh, come on. You know you love it. 235 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:31,686 Oh, lord, please... 236 00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:34,689 J“ my mama told me when I was young I 237 00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:36,941 j“ we're all born superstars j' 238 00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:38,693 j“ da, da, da, da, da, da j“ 239 00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:41,029 j“ she rolled my hair and put my lipstick on j' 240 00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:43,698 j“ in the glass of her boudoir j“ 241 00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:46,659 j“ she said there's nothing wrong with loving who you are j” 242 00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:48,745 j“ she said, 'cause he made you perfect, babe j” 243 00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:53,416 j“ so keep your head up, girl and you'll go far I 244 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,877 j“ listen to me when I say j“ 245 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,280 j“ you're beautiful in your way I 246 00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,464 j“ 'cause god makes no mistakes I 247 00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:02,216 j“ I'm on the right track, baby I was born this way j“ 248 00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:07,388 well, don't look so surprised. 249 00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:09,432 Excuse me, I didn't know you knew the words. 250 00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:11,184 Well, you blast that shit soloud, 251 00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:12,828 you think I didn't pick up a thing or two? 252 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,228 Wow. Okay. I'm one of them... 253 00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:16,105 What do you call it? "I'm a monster." 254 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,440 Okay. "I'm a monster." 255 00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:18,941 All right a little... yeah. Yeah. 256 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,443 Excuse me, it's a little monster, 257 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,236 to be correct. [Laughs] Little monster. 258 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,506 Yeah, you know what? All right, even I'll admit it, okay? 259 00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:25,799 It's a little catchy. Yes, it is. 260 00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:27,450 Don't hide yourself in regret. 261 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,327 Both: Just love yourself and you're set. 262 00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:31,347 J“ I'm on the right track, baby I was born this way j“ 263 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:32,848 all right. We're not doing that again. 264 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,625 All right, now, sing me something I like. 265 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:36,948 Give me a little Willie Nelson. 266 00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:48,721 Oh, man. Smells good. 267 00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:57,855 Hey. 268 00:14:57,939 --> 00:14:59,524 Molly: Well, if it ain't grizzly Adams 269 00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:01,442 washed up on my doorstep. 270 00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:02,944 [Sighs] 271 00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:04,987 Joe, is it? Joe: Joe it is. 272 00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:08,199 Heard all about you, Joe. You're all over TV. 273 00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:11,452 You're in luck. We got the finest food in Utah. 274 00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:13,955 Good, because I'm starving. What'll it be? 275 00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:16,124 Uh, I'll have your special and a coffee. 276 00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:17,333 Molly: Be right back. 277 00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:21,434 Announcer [on TV]: Same sex marriage... 278 00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:22,755 Oh, god. 279 00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:25,216 Fucking queens are everywhere now. 280 00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:28,052 Hey, sweetheart, can you turn that fairy shit off, please? 281 00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:30,012 Molly: There's ignorant folks everywhere. 282 00:15:32,056 --> 00:15:33,724 Don't you pay them no mind. 283 00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:43,943 Hey, my name's Joe bell. 284 00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,028 Overheard you talking over here. 285 00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:48,823 I'm on a walk for change for my son jadin. 286 00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:50,199 And, uh... 287 00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:51,451 I'd like you to check out 288 00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:52,994 our message of inclusion. 289 00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:55,371 Appreciate it if you get a chance, thanks. 290 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:56,789 I'll pass on the meal. 291 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,337 Man: I don't know what the fuck that's all about. 292 00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:04,714 [Laughs] 293 00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:09,635 Dad. Don't start your shit, jadin. 294 00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:13,598 Dad! What? 295 00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:16,267 Giving them a card and running away isn't gonna change shit. 296 00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:18,311 I'm sorry, but it's not. 297 00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:19,913 I don't know if you realize this or not, 298 00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:21,105 but this is america, okay? 299 00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:22,440 And they're Americans. 300 00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:24,192 They are entitled to their own opinion. 301 00:16:24,275 --> 00:16:25,693 Okay, I'm starving my ass off, okay? 302 00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:27,236 I just wanted to finish my meal 303 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,447 and get back on the road and on my walk. 304 00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,032 Which I am doing for you, remember? 305 00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:32,950 I mean, what else the hell... 306 00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:35,304 What else in the hell do you expect from me, for Christ sakes? 307 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,455 The people that come to your talks aren't the issue. 308 00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:38,998 They are. 309 00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:40,666 Really? 310 00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,835 Guys like that and their kids. That's the issue. 311 00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:44,670 I hate to break it to you, 312 00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:47,173 but we wouldn't be hauling our asses cross-country on foot 313 00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:49,842 if you'd actually done what I told you to in the first place. 314 00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:52,553 You told me to fight, which you didn't do. 315 00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:54,222 And? You're a hypocrite. 316 00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:56,158 I'm the hypocrite? Don't want to be a hypocrite, 317 00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:57,862 then go back in there and kick their asses. 318 00:16:57,934 --> 00:17:00,019 Oh, I'm sorry, give them another card and say bye. 319 00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:14,617 [In distinct chattering] 320 00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:35,346 Yes, I agree. 321 00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:36,722 Very, very. 322 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,266 Oh, who are we talking about? 323 00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:57,451 They're so loud. 324 00:17:57,535 --> 00:18:00,121 Oh, my gosh, he's so hot. 325 00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:04,500 Guys, guys, guys. 326 00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:06,752 [Laughs] Yeah. 327 00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:14,844 [Bell rings] 328 00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:21,684 You guys want to come over? 329 00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:22,977 [Grunts] Marcie: Jerk! 330 00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:24,604 First down, faggot! 331 00:18:24,687 --> 00:18:27,440 Colleen: You guys are such assholes. 332 00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:28,774 Boyd: Takes one to know one. 333 00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:36,532 [Giggling and laughing] 334 00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:45,207 [Dance music blaring] 335 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:46,667 Chug, chug! 336 00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:50,338 [Laughs] 337 00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,308 Get a drink. 338 00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,353 I do. Really? 339 00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:06,854 [In distinct chattering] 340 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,501 Girl: She has had so many drinks. 341 00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:42,139 Wanna smoke? 342 00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:52,066 Colleen: Go, go. Right now? 343 00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:54,026 Yes, go. Hurry. Okay. 344 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:10,626 [Clears th roat] 345 00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:22,388 I didn't know you smoked. 346 00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:24,890 Yeah, we're not supposed to. 347 00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:28,644 Don't tell coach, okay? 348 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:30,813 Don't worry, your secret's safe with me. 349 00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:40,698 Is it? 350 00:21:08,309 --> 00:21:09,685 [Glass bottle clatters] 351 00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,353 You jerk, where are you taking me? 352 00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:23,282 Marcie: You kissed a football player? 353 00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:25,451 Mm-hmm. 354 00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:28,871 Uh, no, technically he's a running back. 355 00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,456 What's that? 356 00:21:30,539 --> 00:21:33,626 I don't know, actually. 357 00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:36,170 This is, like, the stuff dreams are made of. 358 00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:37,463 I know. 359 00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:38,923 How was the kiss? 360 00:21:39,006 --> 00:21:40,446 Can we not talk about this right now? 361 00:21:40,508 --> 00:21:42,194 You wanna go to my room and talk about this? 362 00:21:42,218 --> 00:21:44,446 Yeah, I want to talk about this. I want to talk about this. 363 00:21:44,470 --> 00:21:46,889 Warmer? Okay, come on. 364 00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:50,976 Announcer [over P.A.]: Second and ten on the 45-yard line. 365 00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:52,561 [Excited shouting] 366 00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:56,524 Here we go, cougars. Here we go. 367 00:21:57,775 --> 00:22:00,069 [Cheering] 368 00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:02,446 Let's go, cougars! 369 00:22:05,407 --> 00:22:07,243 Let's go... 370 00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:09,036 Coach: Do a good job, chance. Let's go. 371 00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:11,413 Jadin: Come on, chance! Go, number 5! 372 00:22:11,497 --> 00:22:13,290 Whoo! 373 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:17,586 Whoo! 374 00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:19,922 Yeah! Whoo! 375 00:22:24,426 --> 00:22:27,513 Hey, beh, did you forget your skirt? 376 00:22:29,223 --> 00:22:30,683 Whoo! 377 00:22:34,812 --> 00:22:36,188 Hey, ass bandit! 378 00:22:40,401 --> 00:22:41,694 Is that a boy down there? 379 00:22:41,777 --> 00:22:44,905 What the hell is the school thinking? 380 00:22:44,989 --> 00:22:46,073 Player: Hike! 381 00:23:00,045 --> 00:23:01,589 Announcer: Touchdown, cougars! 382 00:23:01,672 --> 00:23:02,923 [All cheer] 383 00:23:15,102 --> 00:23:17,229 A 30-yard pass to number 40... 384 00:23:17,313 --> 00:23:19,899 Cheerleaders [chanting]: Let's go, cougars! 385 00:23:19,982 --> 00:23:22,192 Let's go, cougars! 386 00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:25,946 Let's go, cougars! Whoo! 387 00:23:32,745 --> 00:23:34,538 [Cell phone vibrates] 388 00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:37,291 [Hip-hop music playing over phone] 389 00:24:03,943 --> 00:24:05,903 I saw what they said about you. 390 00:24:08,238 --> 00:24:10,074 Doesn't it bother you what people say? 391 00:24:13,702 --> 00:24:14,995 Words can't hurt me. 392 00:24:16,872 --> 00:24:20,125 I'm tougher than I look, okay? 393 00:24:40,104 --> 00:24:41,563 Jadin: Look at these mountains. 394 00:24:41,647 --> 00:24:42,815 They're so steep. 395 00:24:44,233 --> 00:24:46,860 If we had more time, we'd hike them. 396 00:24:46,944 --> 00:24:48,445 You can see why I always wanted you 397 00:24:48,529 --> 00:24:50,239 to go hunting and fishing with me. 398 00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:52,759 Take you up there and get you away from everything down below. 399 00:24:52,783 --> 00:24:54,368 Yeah, real macho stuff. 400 00:24:54,451 --> 00:24:56,286 I was just trying to be a decent parent. 401 00:24:56,370 --> 00:24:57,847 I mean, I thought being out in the wild 402 00:24:57,871 --> 00:24:58,956 would help you be a man. 403 00:25:00,833 --> 00:25:03,073 What does that mean to you, "be a man"? I'm just curious. 404 00:25:03,127 --> 00:25:05,212 I did the same thing for Joseph for the same reason, 405 00:25:05,295 --> 00:25:06,755 and he's not gay. 406 00:25:06,839 --> 00:25:09,258 It didn't matter to you what I was okay with, 407 00:25:09,341 --> 00:25:11,510 especially after you started your cheerleading thing. 408 00:25:11,593 --> 00:25:13,887 I mean, dad, some men like cheerleading 409 00:25:13,971 --> 00:25:15,347 and some men like hiking. 410 00:25:15,431 --> 00:25:16,849 And I think if we're... 411 00:25:16,932 --> 00:25:18,684 I don't know, if we're being honest, 412 00:25:18,767 --> 00:25:21,437 you were never really okay with me cheerleading, were you? 413 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:22,688 No, if we're being honest, 414 00:25:22,771 --> 00:25:24,124 if you thought you could handle it, 415 00:25:24,148 --> 00:25:25,232 I knew different. 416 00:25:27,443 --> 00:25:31,030 I mean, you saw me cheer, hke, once? 417 00:25:31,113 --> 00:25:34,241 The one time you did, you left. What? 418 00:25:34,324 --> 00:25:36,344 People were calling me names and throwing stuff at me, 419 00:25:36,368 --> 00:25:38,138 and you got up and left. I was afraid for you. 420 00:25:38,162 --> 00:25:40,497 We were all afraid for you. 421 00:25:54,470 --> 00:25:57,848 Lola [on phone]: Well, I worked two shifts today. 422 00:26:00,059 --> 00:26:04,396 And then I came home to do some laundry, 423 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:07,566 and the laundry machine finally just fucking died. 424 00:26:09,068 --> 00:26:10,527 But with a whole load of clothes in, 425 00:26:10,611 --> 00:26:12,321 it wouldn't drain. 426 00:26:12,404 --> 00:26:15,074 I mean, it was... It was such a mess. 427 00:26:15,157 --> 00:26:16,575 Well, I'm sorry about all that, 428 00:26:16,658 --> 00:26:18,827 but there's not much I can do from out here. 429 00:26:18,911 --> 00:26:20,621 [Laughing] 430 00:26:22,164 --> 00:26:23,916 There's really not much you could do 431 00:26:23,999 --> 00:26:26,418 if you were standing right in front of me. 432 00:26:26,502 --> 00:26:28,128 [Laughing] 433 00:26:28,212 --> 00:26:29,421 [Sighs] 434 00:26:29,505 --> 00:26:30,589 I'm right about that. 435 00:26:31,757 --> 00:26:34,384 You know you should just call us 436 00:26:34,468 --> 00:26:38,764 at the same time every week, you know? 437 00:26:38,847 --> 00:26:42,643 Just set it so we know that we're gonna hear from you. 438 00:26:42,726 --> 00:26:45,354 Look, Lola... 439 00:26:45,437 --> 00:26:47,356 I'm afraid for Joseph with you drinking again. 440 00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:50,317 I mean, I want to trust things are okay while I'm gone, 441 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:52,444 but you're damn near slurring every other word. 442 00:26:52,528 --> 00:26:54,780 Joseph doesn't need to see that. Lola: Wait, what? Wait. 443 00:26:54,863 --> 00:26:56,503 What is... what is... What is so difficult 444 00:26:56,532 --> 00:26:57,741 about what I just asked? 445 00:26:57,825 --> 00:26:59,145 Well, I know that you drink a lot, 446 00:26:59,201 --> 00:27:00,911 and so does Marcie and Joseph. 447 00:27:00,994 --> 00:27:02,579 Can't you just stop with one damn drink? 448 00:27:02,663 --> 00:27:04,224 What, you gotta have five or ten of them? 449 00:27:04,248 --> 00:27:07,042 Joe, you're not here. 450 00:27:07,126 --> 00:27:10,254 You have no idea what's going on. 451 00:27:10,337 --> 00:27:11,964 No idea. 452 00:27:17,553 --> 00:27:19,471 So, what are you gonna do? You gonna go to bed? 453 00:27:19,555 --> 00:27:21,275 Oh, no, I dipped into our retirement savings 454 00:27:21,306 --> 00:27:22,867 so I could splurge on a presidential suite 455 00:27:22,891 --> 00:27:23,976 at the bear river inn. 456 00:27:30,232 --> 00:27:32,234 Right. 457 00:27:32,317 --> 00:27:34,903 Well, love you. 458 00:27:34,987 --> 00:27:36,071 I love you. 459 00:27:46,957 --> 00:27:49,918 Hey.hey. 460 00:27:50,002 --> 00:27:51,170 What? Come here. 461 00:27:51,253 --> 00:27:52,588 What? It's gold! 462 00:27:52,671 --> 00:27:54,339 [Laughs] Gold, baby! 463 00:27:54,423 --> 00:27:56,008 Jadin: What? Joe: Whoo! 464 00:27:56,091 --> 00:27:59,094 Green gold, baby. Look at these bad boys. 465 00:27:59,178 --> 00:28:01,263 Look at the size of them. Huh? 466 00:28:01,346 --> 00:28:03,098 Is that asparagus? Oh, man. 467 00:28:03,182 --> 00:28:05,493 I'm gonna grill them up on the fire, you are gonna love it. 468 00:28:05,517 --> 00:28:07,078 Ain't nothing better than wild asparagus. 469 00:28:07,102 --> 00:28:08,896 Oh, that smells so good. Both: Oh, yeah. 470 00:28:08,979 --> 00:28:10,564 That's the real deal right there, baby. 471 00:28:10,647 --> 00:28:13,233 Jadin: Yeah, man. Joe: This is green gold. Whoo! 472 00:28:22,826 --> 00:28:24,328 Nothing better. 473 00:28:24,411 --> 00:28:26,121 Right out of the ground. Taste that. 474 00:28:30,500 --> 00:28:32,211 That's so good. 475 00:28:32,294 --> 00:28:33,813 Give me more of that. You're hogging it. 476 00:28:33,837 --> 00:28:35,172 I haven't had a bite yet. 477 00:28:35,255 --> 00:28:36,882 [Laughs] What the heck? 478 00:28:36,965 --> 00:28:38,675 Here, get one. Just make sure it's cooked. 479 00:28:38,759 --> 00:28:40,159 I don't want you eating nothing raw. 480 00:28:43,931 --> 00:28:47,017 You know, this is the one thing you can cook. 481 00:28:56,193 --> 00:28:58,320 Did you ever wish that I wrestled? 482 00:28:58,403 --> 00:29:00,723 No. You didn't want to wrestle, you didn't have to wrestle. 483 00:29:02,157 --> 00:29:04,201 Jadin: Joseph's gotten really good. 484 00:29:04,284 --> 00:29:06,036 You know why's good at it? Why? 485 00:29:06,119 --> 00:29:07,579 Because he works hard at it. 486 00:29:07,663 --> 00:29:09,331 You put the time in... 487 00:29:10,707 --> 00:29:13,502 You get good at whatever you work hard at. 488 00:29:13,585 --> 00:29:14,836 That's all about sacrifice. 489 00:29:18,966 --> 00:29:20,467 Trying to get this one big one here. 490 00:29:22,803 --> 00:29:24,554 [N] 491 00:29:32,354 --> 00:29:34,147 Whoo! 492 00:29:34,231 --> 00:29:35,732 Yeah, buddy! 493 00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:42,823 Let's go, cougars, let's go! 494 00:29:42,906 --> 00:29:46,743 Let's go, cougars, let's go! Come on! 495 00:29:46,827 --> 00:29:49,288 Come on. Come out here. It feels great. 496 00:29:49,371 --> 00:29:51,415 Let's go, cougars, let's go! Argh. 497 00:29:52,582 --> 00:29:54,084 I will keep you up all night. 498 00:29:54,167 --> 00:29:56,295 Let's go, cougars! Let's go! 499 00:29:56,378 --> 00:29:59,756 Let's go, grandpa. Come on. 500 00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:02,050 Let's go, cougars! Let's go!! Argh! 501 00:30:02,134 --> 00:30:03,814 All right, show me again. All right, ready? 502 00:30:03,844 --> 00:30:05,429 Yeah. Watch. 503 00:30:05,512 --> 00:30:07,514 Both: Let's go, cougars, let's go! 504 00:30:07,597 --> 00:30:09,266 Argh! Argh! 505 00:30:09,349 --> 00:30:11,018 [Both growling and laughing] 506 00:30:17,566 --> 00:30:19,151 Whoo! 507 00:30:32,414 --> 00:30:33,832 [Breathing heavily] 508 00:30:39,838 --> 00:30:42,191 Jadin: How many yards did you rush for in last night's game? 509 00:30:42,215 --> 00:30:43,383 Chance: Uh... 510 00:30:43,467 --> 00:30:45,135 158. 511 00:30:50,057 --> 00:30:52,684 Is that a lot, or...? 512 00:30:56,146 --> 00:30:58,940 If you don't know, why are you asking? 513 00:30:59,024 --> 00:31:01,068 I want to know about your game. 514 00:31:01,151 --> 00:31:02,819 [Laughs] 515 00:31:02,903 --> 00:31:05,781 Um... yeah. 516 00:31:05,864 --> 00:31:08,158 Yeah, I mean, 158's pretty good. 517 00:31:08,241 --> 00:31:10,952 Um, it's below my average, though, but... 518 00:31:12,704 --> 00:31:15,791 You know, I don't need to be a star or anything. 519 00:31:15,874 --> 00:31:17,793 I just want to get into a small program 520 00:31:17,876 --> 00:31:19,211 and play football somewhere. 521 00:31:23,006 --> 00:31:25,050 Like where? 522 00:31:26,676 --> 00:31:28,804 Well, I'm not really, you know, 523 00:31:28,887 --> 00:31:30,680 d-1 material. 524 00:31:30,764 --> 00:31:32,933 [Both laugh] But I don't know. 525 00:31:33,016 --> 00:31:35,227 Like Portland state, maybe? 526 00:31:35,310 --> 00:31:36,603 Maybe eastern Washington. 527 00:31:40,357 --> 00:31:44,444 That's a long way away from where I'll be. 528 00:31:44,528 --> 00:31:46,863 Hmm. And where's that? 529 00:31:46,947 --> 00:31:48,031 New York. 530 00:31:50,784 --> 00:31:52,624 You know there's a lot of colleges in New York. 531 00:31:57,791 --> 00:31:59,334 And if you wanted to... 532 00:32:01,294 --> 00:32:02,462 I don't know, go east... 533 00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:07,926 We could go together. 534 00:32:08,009 --> 00:32:09,594 Or something. 535 00:32:16,309 --> 00:32:18,228 I don't know, jadin. That's aiming pretty high. 536 00:32:24,651 --> 00:32:25,986 Jadin: He, uh... 537 00:32:27,070 --> 00:32:28,321 He got freaked out. 538 00:32:31,408 --> 00:32:33,034 He was afraid that he'd get kicked out 539 00:32:33,118 --> 00:32:35,203 if his moron parents knew. 540 00:32:40,542 --> 00:32:42,794 Romantic relationships aren't everything, jadin. 541 00:32:42,878 --> 00:32:45,130 They're not the solution to life. 542 00:32:45,213 --> 00:32:47,674 It was the solution to my life. 543 00:32:47,757 --> 00:32:50,552 My life, dad. Not yours. Mine. 544 00:33:22,292 --> 00:33:23,543 [Sighs] 545 00:33:28,757 --> 00:33:30,008 Nervous, huh? 546 00:33:30,091 --> 00:33:32,802 No. Why would I be nervous? 547 00:33:32,886 --> 00:33:34,596 What if somebody hits on you? 548 00:33:34,679 --> 00:33:36,223 Nobody's gonna hit on me. 549 00:33:36,306 --> 00:33:38,808 It's a gay bar, dad. 550 00:33:38,892 --> 00:33:40,745 Somebody's gonna hit on you. How would you know? 551 00:33:40,769 --> 00:33:42,103 Ever been to a gay bar? No, but... 552 00:33:42,187 --> 00:33:43,707 Have you ever been to a bar? Jadin: No. 553 00:33:43,772 --> 00:33:44,940 Okay, then. 554 00:33:45,023 --> 00:33:46,399 Also, it's drag night, 555 00:33:46,483 --> 00:33:47,651 so you better dance. 556 00:33:47,734 --> 00:33:49,277 I don't dance. 557 00:33:49,361 --> 00:33:52,239 I cannot wait to see my dad, the magnificent Joe bell, 558 00:33:52,322 --> 00:33:54,282 working it with some fierce lady queens. 559 00:33:54,366 --> 00:33:56,159 That's not gonna happen. You're staying here. 560 00:33:56,243 --> 00:33:57,845 Okay, well, at least say hi to Cher for me. 561 00:33:57,869 --> 00:33:59,579 Cher? Mm-hmm. There's always a Cher. 562 00:33:59,663 --> 00:34:01,081 It's a given. How would you know? 563 00:34:01,164 --> 00:34:03,208 Jadin: Because. It's a given. 564 00:34:03,291 --> 00:34:05,210 And if she flirts with you, try not to be mean. 565 00:34:05,293 --> 00:34:06,878 Why would I be mean? 566 00:34:06,962 --> 00:34:08,713 I mean, who the hell do you think I am? 567 00:34:08,797 --> 00:34:10,090 Would you flirt back? 568 00:34:10,173 --> 00:34:11,716 No, I would not, jadin. Jadin: Why not? 569 00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,969 Because. Because why? 570 00:34:14,052 --> 00:34:15,971 Because Cher's not my type. 571 00:34:16,054 --> 00:34:17,889 Now, if Dolly's there... Jadin: No. 572 00:34:17,973 --> 00:34:20,058 I'm gonna motorboat them big-ass titties. 573 00:34:20,141 --> 00:34:21,893 [Laughs] 574 00:34:21,977 --> 00:34:24,187 You are disgusting. 575 00:34:24,271 --> 00:34:25,897 [Sighs] 576 00:34:25,981 --> 00:34:28,483 Dad... what? 577 00:34:28,567 --> 00:34:31,027 Relax. You got this. 578 00:34:31,111 --> 00:34:32,279 [Sighs] 579 00:34:32,362 --> 00:34:34,239 You know that's my job. 580 00:34:34,322 --> 00:34:35,532 To reassure you. 581 00:34:37,409 --> 00:34:39,035 Yeah, I wish I could go with you. 582 00:34:39,119 --> 00:34:40,537 Yeah, well, so do I. 583 00:34:44,165 --> 00:34:45,750 Well, wish me luck. 584 00:34:45,834 --> 00:34:47,544 Good luck. Give me a hug. 585 00:34:47,627 --> 00:34:48,712 All right. 586 00:34:56,052 --> 00:34:58,305 How do I look? 587 00:34:58,388 --> 00:34:59,931 Pants tight enough but not too tight? 588 00:35:00,015 --> 00:35:02,100 Oh, god, dad! I'm gonna keep the flaps down. 589 00:35:02,183 --> 00:35:04,185 Stop buying the time. Get out of here. 590 00:35:04,269 --> 00:35:05,437 Go. Good luck. Bye. 591 00:35:10,734 --> 00:35:12,819 [Loud music playing] [Indistinct chatter] 592 00:35:33,089 --> 00:35:35,884 Our folks are deeply religious. 593 00:35:35,967 --> 00:35:39,137 I was 15, and I was a Deacon at our church. 594 00:35:39,220 --> 00:35:41,931 I was sitting at church with my family, 595 00:35:42,015 --> 00:35:45,226 and the sermon that day was on sins against god. 596 00:35:45,310 --> 00:35:49,356 And when he said, "gays are going to hell," 597 00:35:49,439 --> 00:35:52,067 I couldn't take it anymore. 598 00:35:52,150 --> 00:35:55,612 I got up and i-i-i went to leave, 599 00:35:55,695 --> 00:35:57,882 and my mom stopped me and she said, "where are you going?" 600 00:35:57,906 --> 00:36:00,325 And I turned and I said "to hell, apparently." 601 00:36:00,408 --> 00:36:01,534 [Laughs] 602 00:36:02,869 --> 00:36:04,329 [Chuckung] 603 00:36:04,412 --> 00:36:06,247 It's seems funny now, but... It was funny. 604 00:36:08,124 --> 00:36:11,044 At the time it was like an avalanche had hit. 605 00:36:11,127 --> 00:36:14,464 My entire life was hell. 606 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:19,636 It's hard to stand strong 607 00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:23,098 in places where there are more churches than there are gays. 608 00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:25,517 Churches, man. Don't even get me started. 609 00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:27,727 Jadin went to church with a friend of his one Sunday. 610 00:36:27,811 --> 00:36:29,455 I mean, he was hoping he'd make some friends 611 00:36:29,479 --> 00:36:31,199 and find a place where people would be kind. 612 00:36:31,272 --> 00:36:33,472 During the service, the pastor singled him out and said, 613 00:36:33,525 --> 00:36:35,819 "if you are gay, you must come up here to the altar 614 00:36:35,902 --> 00:36:38,405 and repent your sins, or leave." 615 00:36:38,488 --> 00:36:41,116 Jaden told us it made him feel horrible, like he didn't belong. 616 00:36:41,199 --> 00:36:43,576 You got them catholic church taking child molesting priests, 617 00:36:43,660 --> 00:36:45,495 they move them from one church to another 618 00:36:45,578 --> 00:36:47,807 so they can molest other boys, and they won't accept my son 619 00:36:47,831 --> 00:36:49,582 because he's openly gay? I mean, the idea is 620 00:36:49,666 --> 00:36:52,877 you're supposed to worship the guy who died to build it, 621 00:36:52,961 --> 00:36:54,754 not the frigging assholes in there 622 00:36:54,838 --> 00:36:56,649 that are judging everybody doing god knows what 623 00:36:56,673 --> 00:36:58,800 behind closed doors. Will: It's true. 624 00:37:00,385 --> 00:37:02,429 People think it's easier these days. 625 00:37:02,512 --> 00:37:05,140 But everyone in this bar knows that's not necessarily true. 626 00:37:05,223 --> 00:37:07,225 That's why they come here. 627 00:37:07,308 --> 00:37:10,437 This place is like a church too. 628 00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:12,021 I think it's amazing. 629 00:37:12,105 --> 00:37:13,565 Hi, darlings. 630 00:37:13,648 --> 00:37:15,191 It's almost showtime again. 631 00:37:15,275 --> 00:37:17,569 Oh, my god, who is this? 632 00:37:17,652 --> 00:37:19,821 Don't make me introduce myself. 633 00:37:19,904 --> 00:37:21,948 This is Joe bell. 634 00:37:22,031 --> 00:37:24,868 Where have you been all my life? 635 00:37:26,327 --> 00:37:27,662 He's just visiting. Oh, perfect. 636 00:37:27,746 --> 00:37:29,581 Well, if you need a place to crash, 637 00:37:29,664 --> 00:37:31,249 there's room on my couch. 638 00:37:31,332 --> 00:37:33,710 [Laughs] Or my bed. 639 00:37:33,793 --> 00:37:36,087 Oh, I'm, uh... 640 00:37:36,171 --> 00:37:37,756 I'm... i'm... well... 641 00:37:37,839 --> 00:37:41,301 I'm not... I mean, I am a straight guy. 642 00:37:41,384 --> 00:37:42,984 I didn't know if you were serious or not. 643 00:37:43,052 --> 00:37:45,096 Joe's walking across the country to raise awareness 644 00:37:45,180 --> 00:37:48,391 about bullying, because his son was bullied. 645 00:37:48,475 --> 00:37:50,185 Well, why didn't you bring him? 646 00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:52,937 Especially if he's as cute as you are. 647 00:37:53,021 --> 00:37:55,565 Is he as cute as you, daddy? 648 00:37:55,648 --> 00:37:57,108 [Laughs] 649 00:37:58,193 --> 00:38:00,904 Um... my son is dead. 650 00:38:04,991 --> 00:38:06,242 Drag queen: Oh, my god. 651 00:38:06,326 --> 00:38:08,369 Oh, my god, I had no idea. 652 00:38:08,453 --> 00:38:10,497 I'm... I'm so sorry. Joe: It's all good. Really. 653 00:38:10,580 --> 00:38:12,540 Drag queen: Let me take my foot out of my mouth. 654 00:38:12,624 --> 00:38:13,934 I'm so sorry, I... No, no, no, I... 655 00:38:13,958 --> 00:38:15,543 I had no idea. It's all good. 656 00:38:15,627 --> 00:38:17,462 Drag queen: No, it's... it's not. 657 00:38:17,545 --> 00:38:20,799 I really didn't know, and now I've got to perform again. 658 00:38:20,882 --> 00:38:22,759 Hey, hey. I'm okay. I'm so sorry. 659 00:38:22,842 --> 00:38:24,552 [Music plays] [Applause] 660 00:38:26,304 --> 00:38:29,182 Honey, I'm gonna grab you another beer. 661 00:38:29,265 --> 00:38:33,520 J“ think of your fellow man lend him a helping hand j“ 662 00:38:33,603 --> 00:38:37,565 j“ put a little love in your heart j' 663 00:38:37,649 --> 00:38:40,193 j“ you see, it's getting late j' 664 00:38:40,276 --> 00:38:42,737 j“ oh, please don't hesitate j“ 665 00:38:42,821 --> 00:38:46,366 j“ put a little love in your heart j' 666 00:38:46,449 --> 00:38:47,742 j“ and the world j“ 667 00:38:47,826 --> 00:38:49,536 [n] 668 00:39:46,342 --> 00:39:48,052 [Grunting] 669 00:40:45,401 --> 00:40:47,528 [Phone rings] 670 00:40:47,612 --> 00:40:48,947 [Sighs] 671 00:40:49,030 --> 00:40:50,657 Hey, honey. 672 00:40:50,740 --> 00:40:53,326 Lola [on phone]: You in steamboat Springs? 673 00:40:53,409 --> 00:40:55,578 Oh, my GPS must be working again. 674 00:40:55,662 --> 00:40:57,205 [Groans] 675 00:40:57,288 --> 00:40:59,374 It's been a hell of a walk through Colorado. 676 00:40:59,457 --> 00:41:02,585 You gotta call us, you know, 677 00:41:02,669 --> 00:41:04,712 when you're going through all those storms. 678 00:41:04,796 --> 00:41:07,173 It's crazy. What, are you worried? 679 00:41:07,256 --> 00:41:09,136 Well, don't be. That storm went way south of me. 680 00:41:09,217 --> 00:41:10,677 I only caught the tail end of it. 681 00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:13,972 Yeah, well, still just call us. 682 00:41:14,055 --> 00:41:15,974 Okay. Hey, hold on a second. 683 00:41:18,101 --> 00:41:19,852 Joseph [on phone]: Hey, dad. Hey, buddy. 684 00:41:19,936 --> 00:41:21,813 See you got 12,000 followers. 685 00:41:21,896 --> 00:41:23,272 How's the man of the house? 686 00:41:23,356 --> 00:41:25,233 Good. You know we're good. 687 00:41:25,316 --> 00:41:27,443 Wrestling practice is really good. 688 00:41:27,527 --> 00:41:30,321 Coach filmed a few of them. Well, I can't wait to see them. 689 00:41:30,405 --> 00:41:32,615 Yeah, hey, dad, 690 00:41:32,699 --> 00:41:36,285 what would you think about me and mom coming to visit you? 691 00:41:36,369 --> 00:41:38,496 Out on the road. I mean, not on the road, 692 00:41:38,579 --> 00:41:42,583 but maybe in a motel or a hotel, even? 693 00:41:42,667 --> 00:41:45,378 Well, I can't think of anything I'd like better. 694 00:41:45,461 --> 00:41:47,422 Your mom okay with it? 695 00:41:47,505 --> 00:41:49,632 Mom? Yeah. She's okay with it. 696 00:41:49,716 --> 00:41:50,925 All right. 697 00:41:51,009 --> 00:41:52,635 Let me talk to your mom. 698 00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:53,803 Oh, shit. 699 00:41:59,225 --> 00:42:01,144 Lola: Okay, give me the phone back. 700 00:42:01,227 --> 00:42:02,770 You coming to see me? 701 00:42:02,854 --> 00:42:04,605 All right, yeah, we'll talk about it. 702 00:42:04,689 --> 00:42:07,567 All right. Hurry. 703 00:42:07,650 --> 00:42:09,110 All right. Love you, bye. 704 00:42:15,616 --> 00:42:17,577 Oh, shit. 705 00:42:17,660 --> 00:42:19,162 [Sighs] 706 00:42:21,998 --> 00:42:23,666 Lola: Well, it's starting to snow. 707 00:42:23,750 --> 00:42:25,626 Joseph: Maybe we could, uh, 708 00:42:25,710 --> 00:42:27,187 get out and do some snowboarding later. 709 00:42:27,211 --> 00:42:28,296 Lola: There he is. 710 00:42:32,675 --> 00:42:34,635 Hey, hey! Joseph: Hey, dad. 711 00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:36,804 My god, son, it's only been a few months. 712 00:42:36,888 --> 00:42:38,408 You're as tall as me missed you, buddy. 713 00:42:38,473 --> 00:42:40,141 I missed you too, dad. Hey. 714 00:42:40,224 --> 00:42:42,351 Hi. Saw you spit that dip out. 715 00:42:42,435 --> 00:42:44,228 Oh, no, that's just for walking. 716 00:42:44,312 --> 00:42:46,314 [Laughing] Mm-hmm. You smell so good. 717 00:42:47,774 --> 00:42:49,942 How are you doing? Joseph: So I, uh... 718 00:42:50,026 --> 00:42:52,426 I brought my wrestling tapes. Good. We'll watch them tonight. 719 00:42:52,487 --> 00:42:54,548 I've booked us a surprise adventure for the afternoon. 720 00:42:54,572 --> 00:42:56,132 We have 15 minutes. Lola: Oh, all right. 721 00:42:56,157 --> 00:42:57,742 Is it snowboarding? Joe: No, no, no. 722 00:42:57,825 --> 00:43:00,119 You're gonna love it, I promise. All right? 723 00:43:00,203 --> 00:43:01,764 All right, I got this. How was the drive? 724 00:43:01,788 --> 00:43:03,039 Lola: Not bad. Oh, good. 725 00:43:03,122 --> 00:43:04,373 Come on. 726 00:43:04,457 --> 00:43:06,501 [Indistinct chatter] 727 00:43:08,878 --> 00:43:10,338 [Applause] 728 00:43:12,882 --> 00:43:15,760 J“ waiting on the sunshine j“ 729 00:43:18,930 --> 00:43:21,265 j“ to come around again j 730 00:43:25,353 --> 00:43:27,730 j“ it's been a long time j' 731 00:43:32,193 --> 00:43:33,361 j“ since we let it in j' 732 00:43:35,279 --> 00:43:36,864 j“ take me down j' 733 00:43:40,910 --> 00:43:42,954 j“ to the fault line j“ 734 00:43:47,041 --> 00:43:49,794 j“ take me down j' 735 00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:54,382 j“ where the river starts j' 736 00:44:03,099 --> 00:44:05,101 J“ take me into your heart j“ 737 00:44:05,184 --> 00:44:07,329 I gotta take you on a mechanical bull so you can practice. 738 00:44:07,353 --> 00:44:09,273 I'm telling you, I think you can beat the record. 739 00:44:12,024 --> 00:44:13,526 Excuse me. 740 00:44:13,609 --> 00:44:15,403 Excuse me, aren't...? 741 00:44:15,486 --> 00:44:17,422 Aren't you that fella that's walking across america? 742 00:44:17,446 --> 00:44:18,614 I am. 743 00:44:18,698 --> 00:44:20,032 Sir, it is a pleasure to meet you. 744 00:44:20,116 --> 00:44:21,951 Dad's a celebrity. Man: This is my wife. 745 00:44:22,034 --> 00:44:24,704 So nice to meet you. 746 00:44:24,787 --> 00:44:27,290 Hi, I'm... I'm his wife. 747 00:44:27,373 --> 00:44:28,934 And jadin's mom. Woman: Nice to meet you. 748 00:44:28,958 --> 00:44:31,294 And this is our son, Joseph. Hi, I'm Joseph. 749 00:44:31,377 --> 00:44:33,671 Woman: Hi, Joseph. Man: I think it's incredible 750 00:44:33,754 --> 00:44:36,257 what you're doing for your son. Woman: Yes. 751 00:44:36,340 --> 00:44:38,551 Takes real courage to stick up for what you believe in. 752 00:44:38,634 --> 00:44:40,761 Well, it's got to be done. This can't go on. 753 00:44:40,845 --> 00:44:42,513 Woman: Yes. Man: Would you mind 754 00:44:42,597 --> 00:44:44,473 if we got our picture with you? 755 00:44:44,557 --> 00:44:47,643 Sure. Absolutely. Woman: Yes. Thank you. 756 00:44:47,727 --> 00:44:49,187 Honey, take the picture. 757 00:44:49,270 --> 00:44:51,189 Oh. Okay. 758 00:44:51,272 --> 00:44:52,565 Man: Thank you. Woman: Thank you. 759 00:44:54,817 --> 00:44:56,736 [Camera clicks] 760 00:44:56,819 --> 00:44:58,979 Joe: That's real good work. Joseph: I'm getting faster. 761 00:44:59,030 --> 00:45:00,757 Joe: You see how much leverage you got on him? 762 00:45:00,781 --> 00:45:01,949 He ain't going nowhere. 763 00:45:02,033 --> 00:45:03,910 That's good. 764 00:45:03,993 --> 00:45:05,453 That's real good. 765 00:45:07,914 --> 00:45:10,958 You seen this? Yeah. 766 00:45:11,042 --> 00:45:12,335 I was there when it happened. 767 00:45:12,418 --> 00:45:13,896 He's got some pretty decent takedowns, 768 00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:15,564 but these transitions are a lot more fluid. 769 00:45:15,588 --> 00:45:16,797 What's coach saying? 770 00:45:16,881 --> 00:45:18,424 Coach is saying I'm doing good. 771 00:45:18,507 --> 00:45:20,277 You know, he's... Well, I'm seeing right here. 772 00:45:20,301 --> 00:45:22,887 We've been working out, but he says I might want 773 00:45:22,970 --> 00:45:24,680 to look into losing a few pounds. 774 00:45:24,764 --> 00:45:27,558 What? This boy's just growing. No, no, no, no, no. 775 00:45:27,642 --> 00:45:30,311 You go up a couple pounds. Go up another weight class. 776 00:45:30,394 --> 00:45:32,331 Lola: Brush your teeth. Tell the coach what I said. 777 00:45:32,355 --> 00:45:33,749 All right. Make sure you tell coach. 778 00:45:33,773 --> 00:45:35,250 We got an early morning tomorrow, okay? 779 00:45:35,274 --> 00:45:36,692 Okay. Hey, hey, hey, hey. 780 00:45:36,776 --> 00:45:38,611 "Hey, hey, hey." [Door closes] 781 00:45:38,694 --> 00:45:41,280 Get him to bed so I can get you to bed. 782 00:45:41,364 --> 00:45:43,032 I'm trying. You wanna help me? 783 00:45:43,115 --> 00:45:44,909 I'm just... 784 00:45:44,992 --> 00:45:46,786 I can't believe how much he's improved. 785 00:45:46,869 --> 00:45:48,029 Lola: I know. Isn't it great? 786 00:45:51,832 --> 00:45:53,167 I found this. 787 00:45:53,251 --> 00:45:55,044 I thought you might like to see it. 788 00:45:55,127 --> 00:45:56,379 What's that? 789 00:45:56,462 --> 00:45:58,089 Uh, well... 790 00:45:58,172 --> 00:45:59,257 Let me see. 791 00:46:13,187 --> 00:46:14,438 Where'd this come from? 792 00:46:14,522 --> 00:46:16,899 It was on his grave, in some flowers. 793 00:46:16,983 --> 00:46:18,734 One of them little shits that bullied my boy 794 00:46:18,818 --> 00:46:20,945 into the ground had the nerve to stand over his grave? 795 00:46:21,028 --> 00:46:22,989 Well, Joe... why? 796 00:46:23,072 --> 00:46:25,074 And now he wants to apologize? 797 00:46:25,157 --> 00:46:26,867 Who's this for? 798 00:46:26,951 --> 00:46:28,845 It's not for jadin, because he's dead and buried. 799 00:46:28,869 --> 00:46:30,037 And not for me. 800 00:46:30,121 --> 00:46:31,721 What am I supposed to do with this, Lola? 801 00:46:31,789 --> 00:46:33,684 I don't know I thought you'd like to see it, Joe. 802 00:46:33,708 --> 00:46:35,978 I shouldn't have brought it. No, don't keep secrets from me. 803 00:46:36,002 --> 00:46:37,896 Don't even threaten that. I'm not keeping secrets. 804 00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:39,815 I'm out here on my own, no money, alone, all right? 805 00:46:39,839 --> 00:46:42,383 No, the truth is all I have. Shit! 806 00:46:42,466 --> 00:46:44,427 Well... That little son of a bitch. 807 00:46:44,510 --> 00:46:48,222 You're... you're on a walk for forgiveness, right? 808 00:46:48,306 --> 00:46:49,724 For... 809 00:46:49,807 --> 00:46:51,767 There's no apologies with me, okay? 810 00:46:51,851 --> 00:46:54,437 There is no forgiveness here. They buried that with my boy. 811 00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:56,355 Do you understand that, Lola? 812 00:46:58,107 --> 00:46:59,587 I should not have brought that letter. 813 00:46:59,650 --> 00:47:01,569 Lola... what? 814 00:47:01,652 --> 00:47:04,030 It's all yours, dad. Joe: Those sons of bitches. 815 00:47:04,113 --> 00:47:05,924 Fucking kidding me. Lola: Don't worry about it. 816 00:47:05,948 --> 00:47:07,658 Don't think about it then, Joe. 817 00:47:09,327 --> 00:47:12,955 Son of a bitch, Joseph, get your ass in here now! 818 00:47:13,039 --> 00:47:15,333 Did you hear what the fuck I said? Now! 819 00:47:15,416 --> 00:47:17,418 You see what you've done? Look! 820 00:47:17,501 --> 00:47:19,170 How many times have I told you, huh? 821 00:47:19,253 --> 00:47:21,273 How many times to put the seat up when you take a piss? 822 00:47:21,297 --> 00:47:23,049 Lola: Joe! A hundred? A thousand? 823 00:47:23,132 --> 00:47:25,068 Nobody's fucking talking to you. Shut the fuck up. 824 00:47:25,092 --> 00:47:26,469 What do you think, I'm your maid? 825 00:47:26,552 --> 00:47:27,762 Hey! Just stop! 826 00:47:40,691 --> 00:47:42,526 Lola: Jesus Christ. 827 00:47:43,986 --> 00:47:45,529 [Sighs] 828 00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:09,387 Hey. 829 00:48:09,470 --> 00:48:12,431 What I saw in those practice films was damn good, son. 830 00:48:12,515 --> 00:48:15,434 You keep it up, you'll be state champ by the time I get back. 831 00:48:18,020 --> 00:48:19,188 I love you. 832 00:48:21,565 --> 00:48:22,733 Did you hear me? 833 00:48:27,947 --> 00:48:31,158 Yeah. Take care, dad. 834 00:48:32,410 --> 00:48:33,577 And what else? 835 00:48:36,831 --> 00:48:38,249 I love you too. 836 00:48:43,170 --> 00:48:44,839 Hey. Hey. 837 00:48:44,922 --> 00:48:46,882 So I'll see you in Illinois, or maybe even before. 838 00:48:48,384 --> 00:48:49,552 Yeah. We'll see. 839 00:48:51,220 --> 00:48:53,305 Well, I thought that was the plan, Lola. 840 00:48:55,224 --> 00:48:56,642 We talked about this. Lola, don't... 841 00:48:56,725 --> 00:48:59,061 Joe, don't you. Don't. 842 00:49:02,565 --> 00:49:04,233 What are you doing out here? 843 00:49:04,316 --> 00:49:06,569 Because we've supported you every step of the way, 844 00:49:06,652 --> 00:49:08,863 because we know what's right for you. 845 00:49:08,946 --> 00:49:11,699 But you're supposed to be on some forgiveness walk? 846 00:49:11,782 --> 00:49:14,285 And you act the way you acted last night. 847 00:49:18,622 --> 00:49:22,376 Our son is gone, Joe. Gone. 848 00:49:25,629 --> 00:49:28,340 You're gonna lose another one, 849 00:49:28,424 --> 00:49:30,551 because we're not gonna sit around waiting 850 00:49:30,634 --> 00:49:31,945 for another one of your outbursts. 851 00:49:31,969 --> 00:49:33,169 Lola... it's not gonna happen. 852 00:49:33,220 --> 00:49:34,722 Lola, I... no, no, no, no, no. 853 00:49:34,805 --> 00:49:38,309 Keep walking. Keep walking. Don't come home. 854 00:49:38,392 --> 00:49:42,730 Okay? Don't come home till you figure out whatever it is 855 00:49:42,813 --> 00:49:44,148 that you need to figure out. 856 00:49:44,231 --> 00:49:46,275 But I hope that's not you being some 857 00:49:46,358 --> 00:49:49,195 Facebook celebrity and getting your pictures taken with people. 858 00:49:52,198 --> 00:49:53,949 Are you walking for jadin, Joe? 859 00:49:55,576 --> 00:49:57,495 Because if you're walking for jadin, 860 00:49:57,578 --> 00:49:59,938 then you let jadin let you know when it's time to come home. 861 00:50:02,833 --> 00:50:04,460 I love you, Lola. 862 00:50:05,836 --> 00:50:08,339 [Car door closes] 863 00:50:08,422 --> 00:50:11,008 You guys drive safe, okay? I love you. 864 00:50:11,091 --> 00:50:13,177 Lola: Be safe. 865 00:50:17,348 --> 00:50:20,226 [Car engine starts] Be careful, all right? 866 00:50:26,607 --> 00:50:29,026 J“ goodbye, darkness j“ 867 00:50:29,109 --> 00:50:33,364 j“ oh, to the light j' 868 00:50:33,447 --> 00:50:35,449 j“ every morning j“ 869 00:50:35,533 --> 00:50:38,285 j“ is an end to a night j 870 00:50:40,496 --> 00:50:45,834 j“ every season is about to bring a change j' 871 00:50:47,753 --> 00:50:53,008 j“ there's a new chance given every day j“ 872 00:50:53,092 --> 00:50:56,595 j“ and it brings it back to j' 873 00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:04,645 j“ yeah, it brings it back to me j' 874 00:51:14,613 --> 00:51:16,115 Joe: Hey. 875 00:51:17,866 --> 00:51:19,368 Goddamn it! 876 00:51:23,455 --> 00:51:25,499 Who in the fuck...? 877 00:51:25,583 --> 00:51:27,376 Fucking shit! 878 00:51:48,731 --> 00:51:51,108 J“ goodbye, evening j' 879 00:51:51,191 --> 00:51:54,111 j“ hello to the night j' 880 00:51:56,322 --> 00:52:00,826 j“ I'm not seeing the wrong from the right j“ 881 00:52:03,162 --> 00:52:07,708 j“ walking blindly on a path without an end j' 882 00:52:10,002 --> 00:52:14,798 j“ in the morning come to me yet again j' 883 00:52:14,882 --> 00:52:19,470 j“ then bring it all back to me j' 884 00:52:21,889 --> 00:52:26,935 j“ yeah, it brings it all back to me j' 885 00:52:37,279 --> 00:52:38,656 [Phone rings] 886 00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:46,789 Hello? Lola [on phone]: Hey. 887 00:52:46,872 --> 00:52:48,707 Hey. 888 00:52:48,791 --> 00:52:52,711 So I found something, 889 00:52:52,795 --> 00:52:55,172 and I want you to hear it, okay? 890 00:52:55,255 --> 00:52:57,925 I found it in his backpack, 891 00:52:58,008 --> 00:52:59,760 and I wanted to... Well, what is it? 892 00:52:59,843 --> 00:53:01,303 Can you read it to me? 893 00:53:01,387 --> 00:53:02,888 Yeah. Yeah. It's, uh... 894 00:53:04,306 --> 00:53:07,851 It's an essay that he wrote. 895 00:53:11,730 --> 00:53:13,273 "It's a horrible thing to be surrounded 896 00:53:13,357 --> 00:53:16,068 "by people who hate you 897 00:53:16,151 --> 00:53:18,696 "when they don't even know you, 898 00:53:18,779 --> 00:53:20,656 "for a reason you can't change. 899 00:53:22,241 --> 00:53:24,743 "One they can't comprehend or understand. 900 00:53:26,704 --> 00:53:28,122 "This is the life I live. 901 00:53:30,416 --> 00:53:32,126 "Some nights, I look for the pieces 902 00:53:32,209 --> 00:53:33,335 "I've dropped along the way. 903 00:53:35,796 --> 00:53:38,549 "On these nights, I cry myself to sleep 904 00:53:38,632 --> 00:53:40,926 "and hope tomorrow is a better day. 905 00:53:41,009 --> 00:53:42,261 "But it never is. 906 00:53:44,221 --> 00:53:46,807 "Every year, I look forward to school starting again, 907 00:53:46,890 --> 00:53:50,144 "but it never turns out the way I expect it to. 908 00:53:50,227 --> 00:53:54,064 "I pretend not to notice the looks I'm given. 909 00:53:54,148 --> 00:53:58,193 "Avoiding eye contact with every guy bigger than me. 910 00:53:58,277 --> 00:54:00,362 "I'm surrounded by people who hate me. 911 00:54:00,446 --> 00:54:02,322 "Who want me dead. 912 00:54:04,074 --> 00:54:06,994 "I can't keep talking myself out of it. 913 00:54:07,077 --> 00:54:09,580 "I don't know what I'm gonna do if I don't. 914 00:54:09,663 --> 00:54:14,543 "It's only getting worse. I just want it to be over. 915 00:54:14,626 --> 00:54:17,045 It will be soon enough." 916 00:54:18,547 --> 00:54:20,147 [Whispers] Don't fucking look at us, fag. 917 00:54:23,635 --> 00:54:26,388 What are you doing in here? Girl's bathroom's over there. 918 00:54:26,472 --> 00:54:29,016 Come hang out with us. 919 00:54:29,099 --> 00:54:31,560 Boy 1: What the fuck did we say about looking at us? 920 00:54:31,643 --> 00:54:33,771 Boy 2: All he wants to do is watch us change. 921 00:54:33,854 --> 00:54:37,107 He's shaking, he wants it so bad. 922 00:54:37,191 --> 00:54:39,818 Boy 3: Look at him shake. Stop. Stop. Stop. 923 00:54:39,902 --> 00:54:43,197 It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. 924 00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:46,116 Let me ask you something. 925 00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:48,911 You like dick? [Boys laugh] 926 00:54:48,994 --> 00:54:50,412 Huh? Answer me. 927 00:54:50,496 --> 00:54:53,832 Boy: I think he does. You like fucking dicks. 928 00:54:53,916 --> 00:54:55,125 I'll give you dick. 929 00:54:58,003 --> 00:54:59,296 Stop, stop. 930 00:54:59,379 --> 00:55:01,465 It's okay, it's okay. 931 00:55:03,509 --> 00:55:05,969 Fuck it. You like fucking dick? 932 00:55:06,053 --> 00:55:08,555 Fucking dick? You like fucking dick! 933 00:55:08,639 --> 00:55:10,849 [All shouting] 934 00:55:12,976 --> 00:55:15,687 You like that? You like that? Huh? 935 00:55:15,771 --> 00:55:17,564 [Laughs] 936 00:55:21,026 --> 00:55:23,403 Lola: Can we even give you the names of the boys? 937 00:55:23,487 --> 00:55:25,531 Mrs. Swift: No, no, no, no. No names. 938 00:55:27,699 --> 00:55:29,139 Have you considered changing schools? 939 00:55:31,829 --> 00:55:33,872 Joe: Yeah. We applied to another high school. 940 00:55:33,956 --> 00:55:35,996 We were out of their district, so they rejected him. 941 00:55:38,001 --> 00:55:40,254 What about therapy? 942 00:55:40,337 --> 00:55:45,300 We did, um, a few sessions of, uh, family therapy. 943 00:55:45,384 --> 00:55:47,427 And I don't need therapy. They do. 944 00:55:47,511 --> 00:55:50,722 Jadin, I hear what you're saying. 945 00:55:52,266 --> 00:55:53,642 You don't think the situation 946 00:55:53,725 --> 00:55:55,119 might settle itself down on its own? 947 00:55:55,143 --> 00:55:56,228 No, I don't. 948 00:55:58,897 --> 00:56:00,607 Okay. 949 00:56:00,691 --> 00:56:02,234 [Sighs] Mr. and Mrs. Bell, 950 00:56:02,317 --> 00:56:04,862 I'm not saying it was acceptable behavior 951 00:56:04,945 --> 00:56:07,447 on the part of the other students, because it wasn't, 952 00:56:07,531 --> 00:56:09,533 but we live in a very small town, 953 00:56:09,616 --> 00:56:10,896 and the high school student body 954 00:56:10,951 --> 00:56:13,954 is a reflection of our community. 955 00:56:14,037 --> 00:56:16,540 If you file a formal complaint against these boys, 956 00:56:16,623 --> 00:56:19,459 it may very well cause you more trouble in the long run 957 00:56:19,543 --> 00:56:20,627 than it's worth. 958 00:56:23,881 --> 00:56:25,340 You don't know what it's like... 959 00:56:27,634 --> 00:56:28,927 To feel like... 960 00:56:34,391 --> 00:56:36,685 You have to muster up the courage to ask for help, 961 00:56:36,768 --> 00:56:39,229 and then only to find out that the person who can 962 00:56:39,313 --> 00:56:40,939 just couldn't be bothered. 963 00:56:42,107 --> 00:56:46,111 Son, I am trying to help you. 964 00:56:46,194 --> 00:56:48,906 I'm trying to stop you from making a mistake. 965 00:56:57,539 --> 00:56:59,333 [Lola and Joe shouting] 966 00:57:15,390 --> 00:57:16,850 [Cell phone buzzes] 967 00:57:40,666 --> 00:57:42,542 Marcie: Hey, it's Marcie. [Groans] 968 00:57:44,336 --> 00:57:45,879 Hi, Marcie, it's me. 969 00:57:45,963 --> 00:57:47,881 Can you please call me when you get the chance. 970 00:57:47,965 --> 00:57:50,592 I just need to talk to you. Please call me when you can. 971 00:57:55,389 --> 00:57:57,474 [Sighs] 972 00:58:03,105 --> 00:58:05,023 Dolores: Remember when we used to take... 973 00:58:05,107 --> 00:58:06,566 [Cell phone rings] Oh, just a second. 974 00:58:06,650 --> 00:58:08,735 Sorry. 975 00:58:08,819 --> 00:58:09,903 Jadin? 976 00:58:12,322 --> 00:58:15,117 Hi, it's me. Can you talk for a second? 977 00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:17,119 Dolores: Jadin? Hi, it's Dolores. 978 00:58:17,202 --> 00:58:19,037 Sorry. We're in the car. 979 00:58:19,121 --> 00:58:21,206 Hi, Mrs. Roberts. I didn't know it was you. 980 00:58:21,289 --> 00:58:23,917 Dolores: I'm taking Colleen to go see her cousin 981 00:58:24,001 --> 00:58:25,585 over in Pendleton for the weekend. 982 00:58:29,214 --> 00:58:32,843 Okay. Do you think you could stop by and pick me up? 983 00:58:32,926 --> 00:58:35,846 We are already out of le grande. 984 00:58:35,929 --> 00:58:37,305 So I'm sorry. 985 00:58:37,389 --> 00:58:38,890 [Groans] But why don't you go 986 00:58:38,974 --> 00:58:41,268 to our house and relax? 987 00:58:41,351 --> 00:58:43,186 Be alone for a little while. 988 00:58:43,270 --> 00:58:45,689 I can't be alone right now, okay? 989 00:58:45,772 --> 00:58:47,899 And I can't go home. 990 00:58:47,983 --> 00:58:49,776 So I need you to please just come pick me up. 991 00:58:49,860 --> 00:58:51,445 Mom? 992 00:58:51,528 --> 00:58:52,612 [Whispering] No. 993 00:58:55,115 --> 00:58:57,784 Dolores: Can it wait until Monday? 994 00:58:57,868 --> 00:59:01,163 We'll be back on Sunday night, and we'll see you on Monday. 995 00:59:01,246 --> 00:59:03,373 [Sniffles] And whatever it is, 996 00:59:03,457 --> 00:59:05,584 I'm sure that we can take care of it then. 997 00:59:05,667 --> 00:59:09,129 Listen, jadin, I will call you first thing Sunday 998 00:59:09,212 --> 00:59:10,756 when we get back, okay? 999 00:59:10,839 --> 00:59:13,050 Just... [phone beeps] 1000 00:59:16,762 --> 00:59:19,347 [Sighs and sniffles] 1001 01:00:19,866 --> 01:00:21,118 Lola: Come on, jadin. 1002 01:00:21,201 --> 01:00:23,620 Come on, jadin! 1003 01:00:23,703 --> 01:00:25,747 [Sobbing] Come on, jadin! 1004 01:00:28,375 --> 01:00:30,001 No, no, no. 1005 01:00:30,085 --> 01:00:32,462 Come on, come on, come on. 1006 01:00:34,047 --> 01:00:36,508 [N] 1007 01:00:41,763 --> 01:00:43,515 [Sobbing] 1008 01:01:08,248 --> 01:01:10,417 Jimmy: Would you mind if I say grace? 1009 01:01:10,500 --> 01:01:12,502 Lola: Sure. Jimmy: It's okay? 1010 01:01:12,586 --> 01:01:14,421 Lola: No. Go ahead. It's okay? 1011 01:01:18,592 --> 01:01:20,385 [Jimmy clears th roat] 1012 01:01:21,928 --> 01:01:24,181 Our father, who art in heaven. 1013 01:01:24,264 --> 01:01:26,975 We come before thee with heavy hearts. 1014 01:01:28,518 --> 01:01:31,479 We ask that thy loving kindness be upon us. 1015 01:01:31,563 --> 01:01:32,814 And thy guidance. 1016 01:01:32,898 --> 01:01:34,316 We are indeed thankful for the gift 1017 01:01:34,399 --> 01:01:36,401 jadin has been in our lives. 1018 01:01:36,484 --> 01:01:39,321 We'll need help on this new path. 1019 01:01:39,404 --> 01:01:41,406 We are thankful for this meal before us 1020 01:01:41,489 --> 01:01:43,867 and ask thy blessing upon it. 1021 01:01:43,950 --> 01:01:45,577 In Jesus' name, amen. 1022 01:01:47,454 --> 01:01:48,914 Thank you. 1023 01:02:12,479 --> 01:02:14,689 You gotta get out of this room, Joe. 1024 01:02:21,655 --> 01:02:23,490 You're pale as milk. 1025 01:02:28,620 --> 01:02:33,750 Put some clothes on. Go outside. Take a walk. 1026 01:02:36,544 --> 01:02:38,046 Pretty sure it'll do you good. 1027 01:02:51,559 --> 01:02:53,520 Joe, I'm hurting too. 1028 01:03:00,110 --> 01:03:01,569 [Rain pattering] 1029 01:03:33,018 --> 01:03:34,352 What are you doing? 1030 01:03:36,396 --> 01:03:38,273 Just going for a drive. 1031 01:03:41,109 --> 01:03:42,819 Go back inside, Joseph. 1032 01:03:45,613 --> 01:03:49,367 No. Not until you tell me what's going on. 1033 01:03:53,830 --> 01:03:55,415 Get your ass back in the house. 1034 01:03:56,916 --> 01:03:58,460 I need to go for a drive, 1035 01:03:58,543 --> 01:04:00,670 and you need to get back inside and get into bed. 1036 01:04:00,754 --> 01:04:01,838 Now. 1037 01:04:29,616 --> 01:04:31,076 [Gun clicks] 1038 01:04:35,830 --> 01:04:37,415 Go back inside, Joseph. 1039 01:04:40,668 --> 01:04:41,836 Now. 1040 01:04:55,141 --> 01:04:58,228 [Inhales deeply and sighs] 1041 01:05:07,612 --> 01:05:09,531 [N] 1042 01:05:24,170 --> 01:05:25,755 [Sobs softly] 1043 01:05:46,818 --> 01:05:48,153 [Sizzling] Lola: Shit. 1044 01:05:52,115 --> 01:05:53,575 Here you go. 1045 01:05:53,658 --> 01:05:55,058 Joseph: Thanks, mom. Marcie: Thanks. 1046 01:05:56,411 --> 01:05:58,455 Eat it while it's hot. 1047 01:05:58,538 --> 01:06:00,039 Joseph: Can you pass me the syrup? 1048 01:06:00,123 --> 01:06:01,392 Yes. Lola: I have some bacon too. 1049 01:06:01,416 --> 01:06:03,751 Joseph: It may seem... [Door closes] 1050 01:06:03,835 --> 01:06:05,475 People are just going after each other, 1051 01:06:05,545 --> 01:06:08,047 but it requires a lot of skill. 1052 01:06:08,131 --> 01:06:10,842 Whoa! You're up. 1053 01:06:13,970 --> 01:06:15,430 Lola, I got something to tell you. 1054 01:06:15,513 --> 01:06:17,557 Lola: Okay. Could you give me a few minutes? 1055 01:06:17,640 --> 01:06:20,059 Yes, Joe. 1056 01:06:22,145 --> 01:06:26,608 I've decided to walk across america to New York City. 1057 01:06:29,486 --> 01:06:30,820 Did you hear what I said? 1058 01:06:30,904 --> 01:06:32,071 Lola [laughs]: Yeah. 1059 01:06:32,155 --> 01:06:33,323 When did you decide that? 1060 01:06:33,406 --> 01:06:35,033 Well, just earlier this morning. 1061 01:06:35,116 --> 01:06:38,203 When I told you to take a walk, I meant around the block. 1062 01:06:38,286 --> 01:06:39,704 Not to New York City. Lola, 1063 01:06:39,787 --> 01:06:41,998 I'll talk to everybody along the way. 1064 01:06:42,081 --> 01:06:44,459 Anybody who will listen. About bullying. 1065 01:06:44,542 --> 01:06:46,878 About the damage it does. About what it did to our boy. 1066 01:06:46,961 --> 01:06:49,672 I'm doing this for jadin, Lola. It's what he wants. 1067 01:06:49,756 --> 01:06:51,716 It's what he'd want me to do, I know it is. 1068 01:06:51,799 --> 01:06:55,428 I mean, he told us he wanted to live there someday, remember? 1069 01:06:55,512 --> 01:06:58,181 Yeah. Yeah. 1070 01:06:58,264 --> 01:07:00,683 Uh, I don't know. 1071 01:07:00,767 --> 01:07:03,394 How do you...? How do you...? How do you pay for it? 1072 01:07:03,478 --> 01:07:06,189 Well, I'll... I'll get the money. I can fundraise. 1073 01:07:06,272 --> 01:07:08,167 I mean, everybody's against bullying, aren't they? 1074 01:07:08,191 --> 01:07:12,320 No. If they were, this wouldn't have happened. 1075 01:07:15,365 --> 01:07:17,801 Let me get you something to eat before you head on the highway. 1076 01:07:17,825 --> 01:07:19,953 So nice that you're back up again. 1077 01:07:20,036 --> 01:07:21,756 Can I get some coffee, Marcie? Marcie: Yeah. 1078 01:07:24,499 --> 01:07:26,834 Hey. You didn't tell your mama about last night, did you? 1079 01:07:26,918 --> 01:07:28,336 No, sir. 1080 01:07:28,419 --> 01:07:31,047 Come here. I love you, buddy. 1081 01:07:31,130 --> 01:07:32,590 Hey. I love you so much. 1082 01:07:32,674 --> 01:07:34,318 This is gonna be something great, all right? 1083 01:07:34,342 --> 01:07:36,177 You'll see. I promise. Yeah. 1084 01:07:36,261 --> 01:07:37,971 [Truck horn blares] 1085 01:07:49,315 --> 01:07:50,483 [Sighs] 1086 01:07:55,071 --> 01:07:57,031 [Phone line rings] 1087 01:08:02,287 --> 01:08:03,496 Lola [on phone]: Joe? 1088 01:08:05,790 --> 01:08:07,083 Joe? 1089 01:08:07,166 --> 01:08:08,251 Lola. 1090 01:08:11,588 --> 01:08:13,464 Joe, say something. Why are you not talking? 1091 01:08:13,548 --> 01:08:15,216 You're scaring me. 1092 01:08:15,300 --> 01:08:18,219 I don't... I don't think I can keep going. 1093 01:08:18,303 --> 01:08:21,848 Joe... come on. 1094 01:08:21,931 --> 01:08:24,642 You gotta keep going. I just wanna come home. 1095 01:08:24,726 --> 01:08:27,645 Oh, Joe, you can't come home. Come on. 1096 01:08:29,397 --> 01:08:31,566 You're doing it for jadin, remember? 1097 01:08:31,649 --> 01:08:35,028 Yeah. For jadin. I remember. 1098 01:08:35,111 --> 01:08:36,446 Yeah. And for us. 1099 01:08:38,031 --> 01:08:39,949 Do you want to talk to Joseph? 1100 01:08:40,033 --> 01:08:41,909 Is he there? Yeah. 1101 01:08:41,993 --> 01:08:43,887 Yeah, he's getting ready for his wrestling match. 1102 01:08:43,911 --> 01:08:45,455 We're late. 1103 01:08:45,538 --> 01:08:47,057 I know he'd love to talk to you, though. 1104 01:08:47,081 --> 01:08:48,666 Not like this. 1105 01:08:48,750 --> 01:08:50,752 Just... just tell him... 1106 01:08:52,587 --> 01:08:55,131 Tell him I'll call... I'll call him later. 1107 01:08:56,883 --> 01:08:58,843 Okay, okay. I'll tell him. 1108 01:09:01,054 --> 01:09:02,221 Lola? 1109 01:09:04,515 --> 01:09:06,684 I saw him. 1110 01:09:06,768 --> 01:09:08,269 He was right there in front of me. 1111 01:09:09,896 --> 01:09:12,315 And he just kept leading me for miles, and... 1112 01:09:14,025 --> 01:09:15,902 I followed him all the way, and then... 1113 01:09:19,656 --> 01:09:21,157 He just disappeared. 1114 01:09:25,453 --> 01:09:26,871 Joseph: Mom! We're late! 1115 01:09:28,414 --> 01:09:29,582 Lola: Joe. 1116 01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:32,502 Joseph: Mom, did you pack the shoes? 1117 01:09:32,585 --> 01:09:34,295 Lola: Yeah. Everything's in there. 1118 01:09:34,379 --> 01:09:36,923 Okay. All right. 1119 01:09:37,006 --> 01:09:38,091 I love you. 1120 01:09:39,425 --> 01:09:40,593 I love you. 1121 01:09:43,346 --> 01:09:44,972 [Sniffles] 1122 01:09:55,733 --> 01:09:57,610 Kindness” and respect. 1123 01:09:57,694 --> 01:10:00,005 Kindness is the most important quality a human being can have, 1124 01:10:00,029 --> 01:10:01,739 or that a parent can have. 1125 01:10:01,823 --> 01:10:04,051 Shit, when I was walking and talking these past six months, 1126 01:10:04,075 --> 01:10:06,220 you never know how long you have the people that you love 1127 01:10:06,244 --> 01:10:07,829 and that love you, 1128 01:10:07,912 --> 01:10:10,915 so you damn well better love now, all right? 1129 01:10:10,998 --> 01:10:12,810 No matter how confused or misguided or messed up 1130 01:10:12,834 --> 01:10:14,127 you think they are. 1131 01:10:14,210 --> 01:10:15,670 Because it's probably a good chance 1132 01:10:15,753 --> 01:10:17,505 that you're just as messed up as they are. 1133 01:10:17,588 --> 01:10:20,091 You gotta look in the mirror, and gotta have accountability. 1134 01:10:20,174 --> 01:10:21,259 All right? 1135 01:10:27,765 --> 01:10:28,933 [Sighs] 1136 01:10:39,652 --> 01:10:41,779 [Country music plays over radio] 1137 01:10:45,533 --> 01:10:47,827 Man: Hey, there. You're Joe bell? 1138 01:10:47,910 --> 01:10:49,120 That I am. Yes. 1139 01:10:49,203 --> 01:10:50,483 Man: I've got something for you. 1140 01:10:52,039 --> 01:10:53,207 Oh! 1141 01:10:54,584 --> 01:10:55,835 Holy shit! 1142 01:10:57,837 --> 01:11:00,006 Come here! 1143 01:11:00,089 --> 01:11:01,716 So we got coke in here, and some ice. 1144 01:11:01,799 --> 01:11:03,634 We got water over here in this one. 1145 01:11:03,718 --> 01:11:05,261 That's a solar panel. 1146 01:11:05,344 --> 01:11:08,097 We'll pay you for this. You're a good man, Jim. 1147 01:11:08,181 --> 01:11:10,641 Thank you so much. Thank you. 1148 01:11:10,725 --> 01:11:12,977 J“ beyond the things you do j' 1149 01:11:13,060 --> 01:11:14,437 [car horn hon ks] 1150 01:11:16,814 --> 01:11:20,276 J“ what became of all those mountains j“ 1151 01:11:22,779 --> 01:11:25,239 j“ we found so hard to climb j“ 1152 01:11:26,991 --> 01:11:30,286 j“ we'll take the high road j' 1153 01:11:32,038 --> 01:11:34,916 j“ don't leave your side j' 1154 01:11:34,999 --> 01:11:37,168 j“ till you see it shine j' 1155 01:11:39,170 --> 01:11:44,175 j“ we'll take the high road j' 1156 01:11:44,258 --> 01:11:46,427 j“ baby, here it comes I 1157 01:11:46,511 --> 01:11:49,722 j“ don't you close your eyes j“ 1158 01:11:59,816 --> 01:12:01,442 Yeah, I... 1159 01:12:01,526 --> 01:12:03,194 You know, last night, I had a corral 1160 01:12:03,277 --> 01:12:05,696 a bunch of strangers up the street to come and hear me talk. 1161 01:12:05,780 --> 01:12:08,991 Shit. I gotta go. 1162 01:12:09,075 --> 01:12:11,577 Time for me to explain myself to another lawman. 1163 01:12:19,377 --> 01:12:21,170 [Truck door closes] 1164 01:12:21,254 --> 01:12:22,421 Howdy, sir. 1165 01:12:24,215 --> 01:12:26,217 While you're taking your hands out of your pockets, 1166 01:12:26,300 --> 01:12:28,553 why don't you tell me where you're headed. 1167 01:12:28,636 --> 01:12:30,096 New York City. 1168 01:12:31,931 --> 01:12:33,307 Looking for a ride out here then? 1169 01:12:33,391 --> 01:12:34,809 No. I'm walking. 1170 01:12:34,892 --> 01:12:36,477 Walking all the way to New York? 1171 01:12:38,479 --> 01:12:40,231 Joe bell. 1172 01:12:41,858 --> 01:12:43,442 Well, what's your mission, Mr. Bell? 1173 01:12:43,526 --> 01:12:45,444 Well, like it says there on my card, 1174 01:12:45,528 --> 01:12:47,071 I talk to people about bullying. 1175 01:12:47,154 --> 01:12:48,799 About how it's not okay to torment somebody 1176 01:12:48,823 --> 01:12:50,199 because they're different from you. 1177 01:12:50,283 --> 01:12:51,617 Different how? 1178 01:12:52,952 --> 01:12:55,788 Like my son jadin. He was gay. 1179 01:12:55,872 --> 01:12:58,272 He was bullied so bad in school, he couldn't take it anymore. 1180 01:13:01,919 --> 01:13:03,462 You been on the road six months? 1181 01:13:04,797 --> 01:13:06,799 I started out in la grande, Oregon. 1182 01:13:10,094 --> 01:13:12,263 When was the last time you had a warm meal? 1183 01:13:17,226 --> 01:13:20,521 Sam, meet my new friend, Joe bell. 1184 01:13:20,605 --> 01:13:22,815 Joe, Sam. 1185 01:13:22,899 --> 01:13:26,235 Sam's my girl of all work, and our dispatcher. 1186 01:13:26,319 --> 01:13:27,695 Have a seat. 1187 01:13:29,447 --> 01:13:30,698 Nice to meet you, ma'am. 1188 01:13:30,781 --> 01:13:32,241 It's a pleasure, Joe. 1189 01:13:32,325 --> 01:13:35,202 I called the chaplain like you asked, sheriff. 1190 01:13:35,286 --> 01:13:36,954 He says once you give him the green light, 1191 01:13:37,038 --> 01:13:39,057 he'll announce a youth meeting with Joe as the speaker 1192 01:13:39,081 --> 01:13:41,042 here at the high school this afternoon. 1193 01:13:43,669 --> 01:13:45,004 Yeah, as long as you're sure 1194 01:13:45,087 --> 01:13:46,732 you can drop me off where you picked me up, 1195 01:13:46,756 --> 01:13:48,775 because I intend to walk every single step of the way. 1196 01:13:48,799 --> 01:13:49,884 Then let's get you fed. 1197 01:13:52,762 --> 01:13:56,557 Lunch here is usually last night's leftovers. 1198 01:13:56,641 --> 01:13:58,434 I'm a sorry cook, but I've learned the basics 1199 01:13:58,517 --> 01:13:59,602 of a microwave. 1200 01:14:03,481 --> 01:14:06,192 That's my son, William. 1201 01:14:08,527 --> 01:14:11,322 He wasn't your typical teenage boy. 1202 01:14:11,405 --> 01:14:13,699 He didn't have that "girl crazy" attitude 1203 01:14:13,783 --> 01:14:15,743 that we had when we were his age. 1204 01:14:19,747 --> 01:14:22,291 Janine's pinto beans are even better the next day. 1205 01:14:22,375 --> 01:14:23,668 Hmm. Yeah. 1206 01:14:23,751 --> 01:14:25,336 And the day after that. 1207 01:14:25,419 --> 01:14:27,230 I haven't had beans this good since I left home. 1208 01:14:27,254 --> 01:14:28,589 [Chuckles] 1209 01:14:28,673 --> 01:14:30,675 The stove is strictly Janine's domain. 1210 01:14:30,758 --> 01:14:32,760 I barely know how to boil water. 1211 01:14:32,843 --> 01:14:33,928 She's a keeper. 1212 01:14:37,306 --> 01:14:41,519 I was on the family computer one day, and I... 1213 01:14:41,602 --> 01:14:43,020 I saw that will had been searching 1214 01:14:43,104 --> 01:14:44,563 what it meant to be gay. 1215 01:14:53,823 --> 01:14:55,992 I have to admit, at first, I... 1216 01:14:57,952 --> 01:15:01,247 I worried that I'd been too tough on him growing up. 1217 01:15:01,330 --> 01:15:03,207 We were raised christians, after all. 1218 01:15:05,835 --> 01:15:08,295 I wondered if he might have told me sooner himself 1219 01:15:08,379 --> 01:15:12,425 if I hadn't been such a hard-core lawman. 1220 01:15:12,508 --> 01:15:15,553 I thought about that same thing. 1221 01:15:15,636 --> 01:15:18,014 About whether I was too hard on my boy. 1222 01:15:18,097 --> 01:15:20,891 Well, if jadin knew before he died 1223 01:15:20,975 --> 01:15:25,062 that you loved him and accepted him, that's what... 1224 01:15:25,146 --> 01:15:27,565 That's what matters, isn't it? 1225 01:15:27,648 --> 01:15:29,334 I want to believe that that's the way it was, 1226 01:15:29,358 --> 01:15:32,778 but I don't know if it was. 1227 01:15:32,862 --> 01:15:34,613 [Sighs] 1228 01:15:36,407 --> 01:15:38,826 When I broke the news to my dad 1229 01:15:38,909 --> 01:15:41,996 that his oldest grandson was gay, he surprised me. 1230 01:15:42,079 --> 01:15:44,206 He's a marine. 1231 01:15:44,290 --> 01:15:46,167 And he was a lot more accepfing 1232 01:15:46,250 --> 01:15:48,169 of William being gay than I was. 1233 01:15:51,297 --> 01:15:53,966 And that made me take a long, hard look at myself. 1234 01:15:57,470 --> 01:15:59,805 My father didn't understand. 1235 01:15:59,889 --> 01:16:02,141 Still doesn't to this day, even with jadin being gone. 1236 01:16:04,143 --> 01:16:06,729 You know a lot of folks believe that being gay is a choice? 1237 01:16:08,314 --> 01:16:09,815 All things being equal, 1238 01:16:09,899 --> 01:16:12,068 jadin would have never chosen to be bullied. 1239 01:16:12,151 --> 01:16:13,527 With all things being equal, 1240 01:16:13,611 --> 01:16:15,654 he would have never chosen the way he died. 1241 01:16:17,740 --> 01:16:18,908 You know, Ben... 1242 01:16:20,785 --> 01:16:22,328 When I started out walking... 1243 01:16:23,954 --> 01:16:26,332 I didn't know what I was doing, really. 1244 01:16:26,415 --> 01:16:29,877 I thought I just wanted to make jadin's life... 1245 01:16:31,754 --> 01:16:33,798 And his death matter somehow. 1246 01:16:36,967 --> 01:16:38,135 But what I come to know... 1247 01:16:40,179 --> 01:16:41,939 Is I've been walking and trying to figure out 1248 01:16:42,014 --> 01:16:43,599 why my son did what he did. 1249 01:16:47,144 --> 01:16:49,105 And make sense out of the part that I played 1250 01:16:49,188 --> 01:16:50,773 in his decision to end his life. 1251 01:16:53,484 --> 01:16:56,487 I mean, I was too caught up in my own feelings 1252 01:16:56,570 --> 01:16:57,947 about what other people would think 1253 01:16:58,030 --> 01:17:00,783 to see how alone my own son must have felt. 1254 01:17:00,866 --> 01:17:02,993 I should've known how bad it was for him. 1255 01:17:03,077 --> 01:17:05,454 I... I should've known all along. 1256 01:17:05,538 --> 01:17:06,747 But instead I just... 1257 01:17:08,666 --> 01:17:10,459 [Sighs] 1258 01:17:10,543 --> 01:17:13,587 I just made jadin's being gay all about Joe bell. 1259 01:17:15,464 --> 01:17:16,632 About me. 1260 01:17:17,967 --> 01:17:19,176 Not about my boy. 1261 01:17:31,522 --> 01:17:34,233 I think you made me realize something. 1262 01:17:38,487 --> 01:17:40,990 It never crossed my mind until this very moment that... 1263 01:17:42,992 --> 01:17:46,287 William might have considered taking his own life. 1264 01:17:53,586 --> 01:17:56,172 I don't think I could've carried on if he had. 1265 01:18:08,642 --> 01:18:10,352 I never let him know it was okay. 1266 01:18:11,979 --> 01:18:13,397 And I gotta live with that. 1267 01:18:16,734 --> 01:18:19,069 Don't make that same mistake, Ben. 1268 01:18:19,153 --> 01:18:21,155 Don't do that to your son or yourself. 1269 01:18:24,617 --> 01:18:26,243 [Sighs] 1270 01:18:44,553 --> 01:18:47,014 [Indistinct chatter] 1271 01:19:06,992 --> 01:19:09,036 [N] 1272 01:19:30,641 --> 01:19:31,809 Crowd: Shh! 1273 01:19:37,273 --> 01:19:39,024 Thanks for having me here today. 1274 01:19:39,108 --> 01:19:41,694 Uh, my name is Joe bell. 1275 01:19:41,777 --> 01:19:44,738 I'm really honored to be here to speak with you today 1276 01:19:44,822 --> 01:19:47,074 about something that I feel is very, very important 1277 01:19:47,157 --> 01:19:49,910 not only to myself, but to all of you. 1278 01:19:56,083 --> 01:19:58,085 [N] 1279 01:20:38,459 --> 01:20:40,294 I think you and I are a lot more alike 1280 01:20:40,377 --> 01:20:42,171 than you'd want to admit, dad. 1281 01:20:47,301 --> 01:20:52,056 It took me 13 years 1282 01:20:52,139 --> 01:20:57,811 to realize that living a lie wasn't really living at all. 1283 01:20:59,021 --> 01:21:00,773 It only took you six months. 1284 01:21:01,982 --> 01:21:03,150 No, son. 1285 01:21:05,778 --> 01:21:08,155 It took me 45 years and six months. 1286 01:21:09,865 --> 01:21:11,450 I'm sorry, jadin. 1287 01:21:11,533 --> 01:21:13,077 I'm so sorry. 1288 01:21:20,542 --> 01:21:23,879 I never meant for you to feel that I didn't love you. 1289 01:21:26,632 --> 01:21:28,050 No, son. I never felt that. 1290 01:21:31,220 --> 01:21:32,805 And I always knew you loved me. 1291 01:21:35,057 --> 01:21:36,266 Everything just... 1292 01:21:37,768 --> 01:21:39,144 Hurt so much. 1293 01:21:42,689 --> 01:21:44,817 But deep down, I always knew. 1294 01:21:47,528 --> 01:21:49,071 That means the world to me, son. 1295 01:21:50,864 --> 01:21:52,449 The whole breathing world. 1296 01:21:53,909 --> 01:21:55,452 [Sniffles] 1297 01:22:13,887 --> 01:22:15,055 Dad? 1298 01:22:20,102 --> 01:22:21,270 I love you. 1299 01:22:25,232 --> 01:22:27,359 I know. I know. 1300 01:22:30,154 --> 01:22:31,613 [Sighs] 1301 01:22:32,948 --> 01:22:34,188 [Whispering] I love you, buddy. 1302 01:22:36,410 --> 01:22:37,619 [Sniffling] 1303 01:22:45,252 --> 01:22:47,838 Joe: Hey, Lola, honey. It's me. 1304 01:22:47,921 --> 01:22:50,716 The reason I'm calling is to tell you that I love you. 1305 01:22:50,799 --> 01:22:51,884 You and Joseph. 1306 01:22:54,845 --> 01:22:57,473 Thanks for putting up with me all these years. 1307 01:22:57,556 --> 01:22:59,156 I don't know what would've happened to me 1308 01:22:59,224 --> 01:23:00,824 if you hadn't come along and taken me in. 1309 01:23:00,851 --> 01:23:03,479 I'm just truly lucky to have my family. 1310 01:23:05,939 --> 01:23:08,442 There's a lot of things I've learned out here, 1311 01:23:08,525 --> 01:23:10,194 with nobody but me for company. 1312 01:23:11,862 --> 01:23:13,447 Some ofit's been hard to come to know. 1313 01:23:17,534 --> 01:23:19,703 [Know I've still got a long road ahead of me. 1314 01:23:19,786 --> 01:23:21,890 And I'll be better about staying in touch from now on. 1315 01:23:21,914 --> 01:23:22,998 You'll see. 1316 01:23:24,374 --> 01:23:26,335 You give my love to our boy. 1317 01:23:26,418 --> 01:23:27,628 I love you. 1318 01:23:38,180 --> 01:23:39,640 [Cell phone buzzes] 1319 01:23:42,309 --> 01:23:44,520 Sheriff Westin. 1320 01:23:44,603 --> 01:23:46,748 Patrolman [on phone]: Sheriff, you're requested on scene. 1321 01:23:46,772 --> 01:23:48,148 U.S. 40 just west of wild horse, 1322 01:23:48,232 --> 01:23:50,400 a pedestrian was struck. 1323 01:23:53,278 --> 01:23:55,822 Dispatcher: 10-50 you call investigations. 1324 01:23:55,906 --> 01:23:58,325 Lincoln county sheriff arriving on scene. 1325 01:23:59,618 --> 01:24:01,453 [In distinct radio chatter] 1326 01:24:39,950 --> 01:24:41,868 Hurry to jadin, Joe. 1327 01:24:45,914 --> 01:24:48,041 [N] 1328 01:25:25,162 --> 01:25:27,205 [N] 1329 01:26:04,451 --> 01:26:06,745 [Brandi carlile's "the joke" playing] 1330 01:26:17,798 --> 01:26:21,176 J“ you're feeling nervous aren't you, boy? J' 1331 01:26:22,469 --> 01:26:24,805 j“ with your quiet voice j' 1332 01:26:24,888 --> 01:26:27,557 j and impeccable style j 1333 01:26:30,560 --> 01:26:34,815 j don't ever let them steal yourjoy j 1334 01:26:34,898 --> 01:26:37,693 j and your gentle ways j 1335 01:26:37,776 --> 01:26:40,696 j to keep 'em from running wild j 1336 01:26:43,323 --> 01:26:45,992 j they can kick dirt in your face j 1337 01:26:46,076 --> 01:26:48,036 j dress you down and tell you j 1338 01:26:48,120 --> 01:26:50,706 j that your place is in the middle j 1339 01:26:50,789 --> 01:26:53,208 j when they hate the way you shine j 1340 01:26:56,878 --> 01:26:59,756 j isee you tugging on your shirt j 1341 01:26:59,840 --> 01:27:01,174 Joe: Vokay, boys, mama... 1342 01:27:01,258 --> 01:27:03,343 Thank you! Joe: You guys get together. 1343 01:27:03,427 --> 01:27:04,886 All: Happy easter! 1344 01:27:04,970 --> 01:27:06,330 Joe: Okay, I want to tell you guys. 1345 01:27:06,388 --> 01:27:07,806 Look at me. 1346 01:27:07,889 --> 01:27:10,225 Look at the camera. 1347 01:27:10,308 --> 01:27:12,728 I love you guys so much, with all my heart. 1348 01:27:12,811 --> 01:27:15,355 You guys are such great kids and mamas. 1349 01:27:15,439 --> 01:27:17,649 J let 'em spin j 1350 01:27:17,733 --> 01:27:23,822 j let 'em scatter in the wind j 1351 01:27:23,905 --> 01:27:26,366 j I have been to the movies j 1352 01:27:26,450 --> 01:27:29,244 j I have seen how it ends j 1353 01:27:30,996 --> 01:27:36,168 j and the joke's on them j 1354 01:27:48,180 --> 01:27:52,684 J you get discouraged don't you, girl? J 1355 01:27:52,768 --> 01:27:56,813 j it's your brother's world for awhile longer j 1356 01:27:59,441 --> 01:28:01,735 j you gotta dance with the devil j 1357 01:28:01,818 --> 01:28:04,237 j on a river to beat the stream j 1358 01:28:05,530 --> 01:28:08,283 j call it living the dream j 1359 01:28:08,366 --> 01:28:10,702 j call it kicking the ladder j 1360 01:28:12,746 --> 01:28:15,957 j they come to kick dirt in your face j 1361 01:28:16,041 --> 01:28:18,877 j to call you weak and then displace you j 1362 01:28:18,960 --> 01:28:21,171 j after carrying your baby on your back j 1363 01:28:21,254 --> 01:28:23,089 j across the desert j 1364 01:28:26,384 --> 01:28:30,096 j I saw your eyes behind your hair j 1365 01:28:30,180 --> 01:28:32,641 j and you're looking tired j 1366 01:28:34,059 --> 01:28:37,020 j but you don't look scared j 1367 01:28:37,103 --> 01:28:39,856 j let 'em laugh j 1368 01:28:39,940 --> 01:28:42,692 j while they can j 1369 01:28:44,152 --> 01:28:46,446 j let 'em spin j 1370 01:28:46,530 --> 01:28:52,702 j let 'em scatter in the wind j 1371 01:28:52,786 --> 01:28:55,288 j I have been to the movies j 1372 01:28:55,372 --> 01:28:59,417 j and I've seen how it ends j 1373 01:28:59,501 --> 01:29:05,507 j and the joke's on them j 1374 01:29:15,517 --> 01:29:21,731 J let 'em laugh while they can j 1375 01:29:21,815 --> 01:29:24,734 j let 'em spin j 1376 01:29:24,818 --> 01:29:30,282 j let 'em scatter in the wind j 1377 01:29:30,365 --> 01:29:33,493 j I have been to the movies j 1378 01:29:33,577 --> 01:29:36,830 j I have seen how it ends j 1379 01:29:38,081 --> 01:29:43,503 j and the joke's on j 1380 01:29:44,754 --> 01:29:47,799 j them j 1381 01:30:42,979 --> 01:30:45,899 [N]