1
00:01:01,293 --> 00:01:03,964
♪ No, Ohh, Ohh,
And What Do You Want To Do? ♪
2
00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:05,031
♪ Whoa, Whoa, Whoa ♪
3
00:01:05,031 --> 00:01:08,225
♪ And How You
Want To See? ♪
4
00:01:08,225 --> 00:01:09,885
Ah, There's My...
5
00:01:09,885 --> 00:01:13,088
♪ Yellow Rose Of Taxes. ♪
6
00:01:15,203 --> 00:01:19,828
What's The Matter With You--
I.R.S. Got Your Tongue?
7
00:01:19,828 --> 00:01:21,864
What Has Gotten Into You?
8
00:01:21,864 --> 00:01:23,732
It Is Tax Time.
9
00:01:23,732 --> 00:01:27,207
I Know, And Who Are You,
And What Have You Done
10
00:01:27,207 --> 00:01:28,704
To My Husband?
11
00:01:28,704 --> 00:01:29,838
No, No.
12
00:01:29,838 --> 00:01:32,200
The Cliff I Know
At Tax Time
13
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:35,978
Is Grumbling Round This House,
Barking At The Furniture.
14
00:01:35,978 --> 00:01:37,946
"Why Aren't You Deductible?!"
15
00:01:37,946 --> 00:01:42,151
I Don't Remember
My Behavior Being That Bad.
16
00:01:42,151 --> 00:01:46,205
Need I Bring Out The Letters
That Have Been Written
17
00:01:46,205 --> 00:01:50,204
To Various Presidents
Throughout The Years?
18
00:01:50,204 --> 00:01:53,028
Yes, There Were Times,
But That Is The Past.
19
00:01:53,028 --> 00:01:54,696
I Am A New Person.
20
00:01:54,696 --> 00:01:58,600
So I Will Have
Your Full Cooperation This Year?
21
00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:00,869
You Will Hand Over The Receipts
22
00:02:00,869 --> 00:02:03,705
And Let Me Take Them
To The Accountant
23
00:02:03,705 --> 00:02:06,708
And The Accountant And I
Will Work This Thing Out?
24
00:02:06,708 --> 00:02:08,206
The Receipts--
25
00:02:08,206 --> 00:02:10,879
And You Shall Go Forth.
26
00:02:10,879 --> 00:02:14,917
This Is A New Attitude.
27
00:02:16,018 --> 00:02:17,119
I'm Going
28
00:02:17,119 --> 00:02:18,854
To Go Get My Pencil.
29
00:02:18,854 --> 00:02:20,022
Yes!
30
00:02:20,022 --> 00:02:22,124
And I'm Going To Meet You
31
00:02:22,124 --> 00:02:24,960
And Your New Attitude
In The Dining Room.
32
00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:26,962
Okay.
33
00:02:26,962 --> 00:02:30,032
All Right
With Me.
34
00:02:30,032 --> 00:02:31,204
(Knocking)
35
00:02:31,204 --> 00:02:32,204
Enter.
36
00:02:33,702 --> 00:02:35,204
Kenny, My Main Man.
37
00:02:35,204 --> 00:02:36,206
No Chitchat.
38
00:02:36,206 --> 00:02:37,539
Personal Crisis.
39
00:02:37,539 --> 00:02:38,841
Romantic Variety.
40
00:02:38,841 --> 00:02:39,975
Anything I Can Do?
41
00:02:39,975 --> 00:02:41,510
Point Me Toward Rudy.
42
00:02:41,510 --> 00:02:43,912
Oh! Okay!
43
00:02:43,912 --> 00:02:45,614
Rudy..!
44
00:02:45,614 --> 00:02:47,204
Oh. Hi, Stanley.
45
00:02:47,204 --> 00:02:50,018
Kenny, How Did You
Get In Here?
46
00:02:50,018 --> 00:02:52,209
Do You Live In The Basement?
47
00:02:52,209 --> 00:02:56,200
Would You Excuse
My Friend Rudy And Me?
48
00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,060
We Need To Talk.
49
00:02:58,060 --> 00:03:00,207
Kenny, Is There No One Else
50
00:03:00,207 --> 00:03:02,205
Who Would Talk
To You?
51
00:03:02,205 --> 00:03:04,032
Where Is Your Alleged
Girl Friend?
52
00:03:04,032 --> 00:03:07,669
It's Fascinating That You're
Obsessed With My Personal Life--
53
00:03:07,669 --> 00:03:09,905
Almost As If You Didn't Have
54
00:03:09,905 --> 00:03:11,507
One Of Your Own.
55
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:17,846
Stanley, Could You Go
Get Us Some Juice, Please?
56
00:03:17,846 --> 00:03:19,815
Okay.
57
00:03:19,815 --> 00:03:22,784
Oh, I'd Like Some
Shaved Ice In Mine.
58
00:03:22,784 --> 00:03:24,853
Oh, Don't Worry, Kenny.
59
00:03:24,853 --> 00:03:26,989
I'll Fix You A Drink.
60
00:03:28,790 --> 00:03:31,207
So What Can I Do
For You, Friend?
61
00:03:31,207 --> 00:03:32,207
It's Deirdre.
62
00:03:32,207 --> 00:03:33,529
I'm In Trouble.
63
00:03:33,529 --> 00:03:34,530
What Happened?
64
00:03:34,530 --> 00:03:36,208
Yesterday Was
Deirdre's Birthday
65
00:03:36,208 --> 00:03:38,934
And I Bought Her
A Special Gift.
66
00:03:38,934 --> 00:03:40,569
I Even Wrapped It.
67
00:03:40,569 --> 00:03:41,837
What Did You Get Her?
68
00:03:41,837 --> 00:03:43,207
Tube Socks.
69
00:03:46,909 --> 00:03:48,205
Tube Socks?
70
00:03:48,205 --> 00:03:50,078
That's Not Very Romantic.
71
00:03:50,078 --> 00:03:51,207
They Are Practical.
72
00:03:51,207 --> 00:03:52,748
One Size Fits All.
73
00:03:52,748 --> 00:03:53,982
The Problem Is
74
00:03:53,982 --> 00:03:56,204
I Brought Them
To School Yesterday
75
00:03:56,204 --> 00:03:59,200
And Was About
To Give Them To Deirdre
76
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,823
When I Overheard
Debbie Costa Ask Deirdre
77
00:04:01,823 --> 00:04:03,825
What She Got
For Her Birthday
78
00:04:03,825 --> 00:04:05,127
And She Said
79
00:04:05,127 --> 00:04:08,201
"Well, My Grandmother
Sent Me Socks Again."
80
00:04:08,201 --> 00:04:10,799
Oh, Not A Good Sign.
81
00:04:10,799 --> 00:04:14,208
Well, There I Was
Holding This Grandma Gift.
82
00:04:17,202 --> 00:04:20,207
So I Did What Any Man Would Do--
I Lied.
83
00:04:20,207 --> 00:04:22,778
I Told Her That
84
00:04:22,778 --> 00:04:25,547
I'm Giving Her A Party Tonight,
Here.
85
00:04:25,547 --> 00:04:27,208
Stanley:
You What?!
86
00:04:27,208 --> 00:04:30,519
Kenny, What Is
The Matter With You?
87
00:04:30,519 --> 00:04:33,203
I Would Have Had It
At My House
88
00:04:33,203 --> 00:04:36,208
But My Brother
Wouldn't Make Much Of A Host
89
00:04:36,208 --> 00:04:38,126
In That Flannel Robe.
90
00:04:38,126 --> 00:04:41,206
He Still Has That Robe?
91
00:04:41,206 --> 00:04:43,208
Yeah.
92
00:04:43,208 --> 00:04:45,767
Please,
Can You Help Me?
93
00:04:45,767 --> 00:04:48,904
All Right, But You Got To Talk
To My Father First.
94
00:04:48,904 --> 00:04:52,608
Okay. He'll Understand
An Affair Of The Heart.
95
00:04:54,042 --> 00:04:55,677
Hello, Dr. Huxtable!
96
00:04:55,677 --> 00:04:59,205
Hey, Hey, Boy,
I'm Having A Good Day, Now.
97
00:04:59,205 --> 00:05:01,850
And Who More Deserves It
Than You?
98
00:05:01,850 --> 00:05:03,685
What Do You Want, Kenny?
99
00:05:03,685 --> 00:05:06,688
You Asked If There's
Anything You Can Do
100
00:05:06,688 --> 00:05:09,200
To Help Me
With My Love Life.
101
00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,693
No. I Said,
"Anything I Can Do?"
102
00:05:11,693 --> 00:05:14,205
That's Just It, Sir,
And You Can.
103
00:05:14,205 --> 00:05:17,666
Could I Use Your Backyard
For A Reception Tonight?
104
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:21,208
A Reception?
105
00:05:21,208 --> 00:05:23,538
You And Deirdre Getting Married?
106
00:05:25,007 --> 00:05:26,206
Kenny:
Would That
107
00:05:26,206 --> 00:05:27,743
We Could, Sir
108
00:05:27,743 --> 00:05:31,079
But Could I Use It
To Give Her A Birthday Party?
109
00:05:31,079 --> 00:05:32,206
What Kind Of Party?
110
00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:33,682
Just The Four Of Us.
111
00:05:33,682 --> 00:05:35,984
It Won't Cost Much, Dad.
112
00:05:35,984 --> 00:05:38,207
"It Won't Cost Much, Dad"?
113
00:05:40,203 --> 00:05:41,205
I'll Pay For It.
114
00:05:41,205 --> 00:05:44,059
I'll Even Work It Off.
115
00:05:44,059 --> 00:05:47,200
I Think That Mrs. Huxtable And I
116
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:52,200
Can Absorb The Cost
Of Some Cookies And Some Chips
117
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:55,837
And... Uh, I Think
It Will Be Okay
118
00:05:55,837 --> 00:06:01,043
Because I'm Expecting
A Big Tax Refund Soon.
119
00:06:01,043 --> 00:06:03,202
Ought To Be
Just Fine, Kid.
120
00:06:03,202 --> 00:06:04,713
Make It On Me.
121
00:06:04,713 --> 00:06:05,847
Thank You, Sir.
122
00:06:05,847 --> 00:06:06,848
Yes, Sir.
123
00:06:06,848 --> 00:06:08,550
There Goes A Prince
124
00:06:08,550 --> 00:06:10,200
Among Men.
125
00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,206
You're Pushing It.
126
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:22,531
Cliff:
Okay!
127
00:06:22,531 --> 00:06:23,865
All Right, Now.
128
00:06:23,865 --> 00:06:25,033
Now, Here...
129
00:06:25,033 --> 00:06:26,034
Now, Wait.
130
00:06:26,034 --> 00:06:27,636
Let Me Just Say.
131
00:06:27,636 --> 00:06:31,506
You Know All You Have To Do
Is Give Me The Receipts
132
00:06:31,506 --> 00:06:34,204
And I Will Take Them
To The Accountant
133
00:06:34,204 --> 00:06:37,012
And We Will Take Care
Of Everything.
134
00:06:37,012 --> 00:06:38,013
Yes.
135
00:06:38,013 --> 00:06:39,081
Good.
136
00:06:39,081 --> 00:06:40,209
What Have You Got?
137
00:06:40,209 --> 00:06:42,584
Now, First Of All
138
00:06:42,584 --> 00:06:46,205
We Will Start
With Our First Defendant.
139
00:06:46,205 --> 00:06:47,756
Dependent.
140
00:06:47,756 --> 00:06:48,924
No. Defendant.
141
00:06:48,924 --> 00:06:50,859
I'm Saying
"Defendant."
142
00:06:50,859 --> 00:06:55,097
And I Defend
The Right To Write Off
143
00:06:55,097 --> 00:06:58,567
Sondra, Elvin,
And The Two Children
144
00:06:58,567 --> 00:07:03,200
As Charitable Expense
And Medical Expense.
145
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:04,840
Now, There.
146
00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:06,842
Those Are The Receipts.
147
00:07:06,842 --> 00:07:08,977
As A Charitable Expense?
148
00:07:08,977 --> 00:07:10,200
Charitable Expense.
149
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:12,748
They Eat, They Sleep,
They Borrow
150
00:07:12,748 --> 00:07:15,083
And Then They Don't Pay Back.
151
00:07:15,083 --> 00:07:17,052
Sondra, Elvin
152
00:07:17,052 --> 00:07:19,755
And The Little Dwarfs.
153
00:07:19,755 --> 00:07:24,993
Sondra And Elvin Are Adults
Who Are Earning Their Own Wages.
154
00:07:24,993 --> 00:07:27,662
Now, What Is This
Medical Expense?
155
00:07:27,662 --> 00:07:30,866
The Medical Expense
Is Mainly Because
156
00:07:30,866 --> 00:07:34,208
They Have Taken At Least A Year
Off Of My Life.
157
00:07:35,837 --> 00:07:36,838
(Sighs)
158
00:07:36,838 --> 00:07:38,201
Let's Move On.
159
00:07:38,201 --> 00:07:39,206
Okay.
160
00:07:39,206 --> 00:07:41,109
Now, Next.
161
00:07:41,109 --> 00:07:42,200
Aha!
162
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,200
A Perfect One I Have Here.
163
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:45,680
Under 18, Olivia.
164
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:48,200
Absolutely No Income Of Her Own.
165
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:49,684
That's A Definite.
166
00:07:49,684 --> 00:07:51,207
Put It Down! Put It Down!
167
00:07:51,207 --> 00:07:53,622
There You Go.
168
00:07:53,622 --> 00:07:56,925
That's The Best Defendant
We Have.
169
00:07:56,925 --> 00:07:59,060
The Accountant Has Told Me
170
00:07:59,060 --> 00:08:02,964
That Martin And Denise
Are Claiming Olivia.
171
00:08:02,964 --> 00:08:04,208
How?
172
00:08:04,208 --> 00:08:07,205
He's Out There
On A Boat Somewhere
173
00:08:07,205 --> 00:08:10,005
With A Little, Cute Uniform
174
00:08:10,005 --> 00:08:12,208
Running Around Saying,
"Aye, Aye, Sir."
175
00:08:12,208 --> 00:08:16,845
He Is Defending His Country,
Dear.
176
00:08:16,845 --> 00:08:18,914
Big Deal!
177
00:08:21,016 --> 00:08:22,204
Look At This
178
00:08:22,204 --> 00:08:24,653
Stack Of Stuff
That We Spent.
179
00:08:24,653 --> 00:08:28,824
This Man Did Not Come Home
To Take The Child
180
00:08:28,824 --> 00:08:31,526
On These Field Trips
To The Museum.
181
00:08:31,526 --> 00:08:34,863
Little Children--
"I Want To Go To The Bathroom!"
182
00:08:34,863 --> 00:08:36,203
He Didn't Do That.
183
00:08:36,203 --> 00:08:38,867
Let's Move On, Dear.
184
00:08:38,867 --> 00:08:40,205
Okay. Next
185
00:08:40,205 --> 00:08:42,838
Is Cousin Pam.
186
00:08:42,838 --> 00:08:44,209
I Spoke To Her Mother.
187
00:08:44,209 --> 00:08:45,841
Yes.
188
00:08:45,841 --> 00:08:48,208
And She Said That We Could
Claim Her As A Dependent.
189
00:08:48,208 --> 00:08:49,511
Thank You.
190
00:08:49,511 --> 00:08:51,112
But I Didn't Feel Good
191
00:08:51,112 --> 00:08:52,208
About That.
192
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:58,203
Now, Why Didn't You Feel Good
About It?
193
00:08:58,203 --> 00:09:00,207
Pam Is Her Daughter, Dear.
194
00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:03,592
By What Definition
Is She The Daughter?
195
00:09:03,592 --> 00:09:06,027
This Is A Chance
196
00:09:06,027 --> 00:09:08,206
For Us To Write Off Somebody.
197
00:09:08,206 --> 00:09:09,209
Sweetheart
198
00:09:09,209 --> 00:09:10,207
Let's Move On.
199
00:09:12,667 --> 00:09:15,070
Okay. All Right.
200
00:09:15,070 --> 00:09:18,974
Vanessa And Theo.
201
00:09:18,974 --> 00:09:22,110
Yes, We Do Have
Vanessa And Theo.
202
00:09:22,110 --> 00:09:23,945
You Better Believe It.
203
00:09:23,945 --> 00:09:25,647
Look At All Of This.
204
00:09:25,647 --> 00:09:26,948
Vanessa's In College.
205
00:09:26,948 --> 00:09:28,617
She's Our Dependent.
206
00:09:28,617 --> 00:09:33,205
Theo, My Boy, I Can
Write Him Off Forever, Man.
207
00:09:33,205 --> 00:09:39,961
Just In... Just In Cereal Alone,
We're Going To Get Back $18,000.
208
00:09:39,961 --> 00:09:42,664
Put That Down.
209
00:09:42,664 --> 00:09:46,208
I Got Receipts
For All Of That.
210
00:09:46,208 --> 00:09:49,905
You Have Receipts
For $18,000 In Cereal?
211
00:09:49,905 --> 00:09:51,573
You Better Believe It.
212
00:09:51,573 --> 00:09:53,575
And Guess What Else I Did.
213
00:09:53,575 --> 00:09:55,577
I Didn't Put The Coupons
214
00:09:55,577 --> 00:09:59,848
That We Cut Out To Buy The Bread
To Get Eight And Ten Cents Off.
215
00:09:59,848 --> 00:10:01,082
Left Them Out.
216
00:10:09,524 --> 00:10:11,206
I Don't Get It, Rudy.
217
00:10:11,206 --> 00:10:14,208
How Many Times Will We
Have To Bail Out Mr. Slick?
218
00:10:14,208 --> 00:10:17,200
Everybody Needs Friends,
And Kenny Is Mine.
219
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:21,036
He Really Likes Deirdre,
And I Want To See Him Happy.
220
00:10:21,036 --> 00:10:23,205
There's Something
I Should Tell You
221
00:10:23,205 --> 00:10:25,205
About Our Guest Of Honor,
Deirdre.
222
00:10:25,205 --> 00:10:27,108
What's That?
223
00:10:27,108 --> 00:10:28,207
Yesterday At School
224
00:10:28,207 --> 00:10:31,205
Deidre Said, "See You
At Rudy's Party Tomorrow."
225
00:10:31,205 --> 00:10:32,781
I Said, "What Party?"
226
00:10:32,781 --> 00:10:35,817
She Said, "It's Not A Surprise.
Kenny Told Me."
227
00:10:35,817 --> 00:10:37,152
And I Said
228
00:10:37,152 --> 00:10:41,471
"It's A Surprise To Me,
'Cause There's No Party."
229
00:10:41,471 --> 00:10:42,064
Oh, No.
230
00:10:42,064 --> 00:10:45,083
That Means That
Deirdre Knows Kenny Was Lying--
231
00:10:45,083 --> 00:10:47,081
That This Is Last-Minute.
232
00:10:47,081 --> 00:10:49,641
It Does, Doesn't It?
233
00:10:49,641 --> 00:10:53,082
Why Didn't You
Tell Kenny This Before?
234
00:10:53,082 --> 00:10:54,446
I Don't Know.
235
00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:57,078
I Hope
It Doesn't Ruin The Evening.
236
00:11:00,087 --> 00:11:03,078
(Doorbell Rings Weakly:
"Ding...)
237
00:11:03,078 --> 00:11:04,389
(Electrical Static)
238
00:11:04,389 --> 00:11:06,592
(...Dong")
239
00:11:12,965 --> 00:11:14,082
Oh, De... Deirdre.
240
00:11:14,082 --> 00:11:15,082
Happy Birthday.
241
00:11:15,082 --> 00:11:16,902
Sell It Somewhere Else.
242
00:11:16,902 --> 00:11:18,937
I Was Just At Your House.
243
00:11:18,937 --> 00:11:20,083
This Guy
244
00:11:20,083 --> 00:11:23,086
In A Robe And A Baseball Cap
Said You Were Here.
245
00:11:23,086 --> 00:11:24,776
That's Not My Brother.
246
00:11:24,776 --> 00:11:26,411
Tell Me Another Story.
247
00:11:26,411 --> 00:11:27,713
How About The Party
248
00:11:27,713 --> 00:11:30,649
That None Of My Friends
Are Invited To?
249
00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:32,718
Oh, Well, There's A Party--
250
00:11:32,718 --> 00:11:34,720
It's Just An Intimate One.
251
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:36,788
How Long Have You
Been Planning
252
00:11:36,788 --> 00:11:38,079
This Intimate Party?
253
00:11:38,079 --> 00:11:40,926
You Mean, In My Head,
Or In My Heart?
254
00:11:40,926 --> 00:11:42,081
Forget It, Kenny.
255
00:11:42,081 --> 00:11:44,463
From The Moment I Met You
256
00:11:44,463 --> 00:11:47,080
You've Been Making Up
Stories And Excuses
257
00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:49,078
To Get Out Of Trouble.
258
00:11:49,078 --> 00:11:51,003
We Can't Live That Way.
259
00:11:51,003 --> 00:11:52,087
This Is Unacceptable.
260
00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:54,086
Good-Bye, Forever.
261
00:11:54,086 --> 00:11:56,087
Deirdre, There's
An Orchestra Coming.
262
00:11:56,087 --> 00:11:58,086
Kenny, Get Some Help.
263
00:12:07,901 --> 00:12:10,364
Oh, Kenny, Kenny, Kenny.
264
00:12:10,364 --> 00:12:12,882
The Party's Coming Together.
265
00:12:12,882 --> 00:12:15,100
What Party?
266
00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:17,341
The Love Of My Life
Is Gone... Forever.
267
00:12:17,341 --> 00:12:18,348
What Happened?
268
00:12:18,348 --> 00:12:21,006
She Saw Through
My Desperate Party Plans
269
00:12:21,006 --> 00:12:22,342
Like She Was Psychic.
270
00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:24,143
Kenny, Don't Feel Bad.
271
00:12:24,143 --> 00:12:26,340
It Was Just A Matter Of Time
272
00:12:26,340 --> 00:12:28,914
Before She Saw
Through You Anyway.
273
00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:32,718
That Is The Last Time,
Stanley.
274
00:12:32,718 --> 00:12:36,348
Kenny, Why Don't
You Go Talk To Her?
275
00:12:36,348 --> 00:12:37,349
I Can't.
276
00:12:37,349 --> 00:12:39,347
She Said It Was Forever.
277
00:12:39,347 --> 00:12:41,927
I Can Talk To Her.
278
00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:43,347
She Wouldn't
Believe You.
279
00:12:43,347 --> 00:12:45,097
You're My Friend.
280
00:12:50,345 --> 00:12:53,038
Stanley Could Talk To Her.
281
00:12:53,038 --> 00:12:55,349
Who?
Who?
282
00:12:55,349 --> 00:12:57,643
Come On,
Look At It This Way.
283
00:12:57,643 --> 00:12:59,712
Stanley Thinks
You're A Creep.
284
00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:02,047
If Stanley Said
Nice Things About You
285
00:13:02,047 --> 00:13:04,917
Deirdre Would Have
To Believe Him.
286
00:13:04,917 --> 00:13:07,347
If Stanley Says
Nice Things About You.
287
00:13:07,347 --> 00:13:09,255
Nope, Forget It.
288
00:13:09,255 --> 00:13:12,340
It's Just The Three
Of Us Again... Forever.
289
00:13:15,995 --> 00:13:17,997
I'll Be At Deirdre's.
290
00:13:17,997 --> 00:13:20,065
Thank You.
291
00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:29,875
(Laughing Loudly)
292
00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:31,342
I Got It!
293
00:13:31,342 --> 00:13:32,878
I Got It!
294
00:13:32,878 --> 00:13:33,912
♪ Da-Da! ♪
295
00:13:33,912 --> 00:13:35,344
I'm Almost Finished.
296
00:13:35,344 --> 00:13:38,284
Maybe You'd Like To Go
In The Living Room
297
00:13:38,284 --> 00:13:39,885
And Just Relax.
298
00:13:39,885 --> 00:13:40,886
No, We Can't.
299
00:13:40,886 --> 00:13:41,987
Check It Out.
300
00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:44,340
Bam! I Got It!
301
00:13:44,340 --> 00:13:48,294
The Patriot's Guide
To Taxpaying.
302
00:13:48,294 --> 00:13:49,895
I Got It.
303
00:13:49,895 --> 00:13:50,963
♪ Pa-Pa! ♪
304
00:13:50,963 --> 00:13:53,799
Where Did You Get That, Cliff?
305
00:13:53,799 --> 00:13:56,802
Carlton's Bookstore,
And It Was The Last One.
306
00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:58,270
Read The Back.
307
00:13:58,270 --> 00:14:01,346
First Of All, It's Written
By Paxton Peidmont--
308
00:14:01,346 --> 00:14:03,341
"Formerly With The I.R.S.
309
00:14:03,341 --> 00:14:05,811
"Before He Was Drummed Out
310
00:14:05,811 --> 00:14:10,683
For Giving Too Many Tax Tips
To The American Taxpayer."
311
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,343
You Reading That Whole Book?
312
00:14:12,343 --> 00:14:15,821
Listen, I've Already
Been Skimming Through It
313
00:14:15,821 --> 00:14:18,347
And I Got Some Passages
Here For You.
314
00:14:18,347 --> 00:14:21,340
"If You Work For The Government
315
00:14:21,340 --> 00:14:25,998
And Are Disabled Because
Of A Terrorist Attack..."
316
00:14:25,998 --> 00:14:28,901
You Don't Have To Pay Taxes.
317
00:14:32,838 --> 00:14:35,344
But You Don't Work
For The Government
318
00:14:35,344 --> 00:14:37,346
And You Are Not Disabled.
319
00:14:37,346 --> 00:14:39,346
Just Answer Me This Now.
320
00:14:39,346 --> 00:14:43,115
Has Or Has Not This House
Been Under Siege?
321
00:14:43,115 --> 00:14:45,818
Now, That's A Good Point.
322
00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:47,286
Now, Now, Wait.
323
00:14:47,286 --> 00:14:48,787
Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait.
324
00:14:48,787 --> 00:14:50,289
Here's Another One.
325
00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:56,343
If Our Trees Are Destroyed
By Southern Pine Beetles
326
00:14:56,343 --> 00:14:58,731
That's Deductible.
327
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:04,236
Um, Cliff,
We Don't Live In The South.
328
00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:06,346
Bugs Can Migrate.
329
00:15:06,346 --> 00:15:08,707
Now, Didn't You Have
Some People
330
00:15:08,707 --> 00:15:10,345
Up Here From Virginia?
331
00:15:10,345 --> 00:15:11,977
They Came Up Here.
332
00:15:11,977 --> 00:15:15,341
They Could Have Carried
The Little Critters
333
00:15:15,341 --> 00:15:17,783
On Their Clothes
334
00:15:17,783 --> 00:15:21,820
And They Could Have Jumped Up,
And They Could Have Just...
335
00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:25,657
There Could Have Been A Blight
All In The Back Yard.
336
00:15:25,657 --> 00:15:28,861
I'm Telling You,
This Book Is On The Money.
337
00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:30,729
Don't Try To Stop Me.
338
00:15:30,729 --> 00:15:33,298
Now, Look Over My Shoulder.
339
00:15:33,298 --> 00:15:34,345
Yes?
340
00:15:34,345 --> 00:15:35,834
He Says Here
341
00:15:35,834 --> 00:15:38,342
"This Is
A Delectable Tax Deduction."
342
00:15:40,342 --> 00:15:41,740
Your Office.
343
00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:43,642
That Is Not Deductible.
344
00:15:43,642 --> 00:15:46,812
If The Occupant-- Me--
Has Another Office
345
00:15:46,812 --> 00:15:49,648
Where She Performs
Most Of Her Work
346
00:15:49,648 --> 00:15:52,284
A Home Office Is Not Deductible.
347
00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:54,340
(Clears Throat)
348
00:15:54,340 --> 00:15:56,889
And Furthermore
349
00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:59,892
Since We Did Add That Room On
350
00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:04,029
And Increased The Value
Of The Home
351
00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:06,347
Our Property Taxes
Are Going Up.
352
00:16:06,347 --> 00:16:08,200
That's Not Funny.
353
00:16:11,036 --> 00:16:14,340
Let Me Ask You A Question:
354
00:16:14,340 --> 00:16:17,340
Are We In This Together,
Or What?
355
00:16:17,340 --> 00:16:19,348
We Are In This
Together
356
00:16:19,348 --> 00:16:21,079
But You Know What?
357
00:16:21,079 --> 00:16:22,347
I Would Do Better
358
00:16:22,347 --> 00:16:27,052
If I Were In This Room
By Myself Right Now.
359
00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:29,345
I Could Collect
These Receipts
360
00:16:29,345 --> 00:16:32,825
Like We Have To Do
Every Year This Time
361
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,343
And Take Them
To The Accountant
362
00:16:35,343 --> 00:16:38,349
And Between
The Accountant And I
363
00:16:38,349 --> 00:16:41,349
We Could Figure
This Thing Out.
364
00:16:46,568 --> 00:16:48,207
We Could Write Off This Book.
365
00:17:01,343 --> 00:17:02,988
Good Afternoon.
366
00:17:02,988 --> 00:17:04,990
Hey, Hi.
How You Doing?
367
00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:06,091
This Is
368
00:17:06,091 --> 00:17:06,755
The Uptown String Quartet.
369
00:17:06,755 --> 00:17:09,734
My Nephew Asked Us
To Rehearse Here.
370
00:17:09,734 --> 00:17:10,895
You All Go Ahead.
371
00:17:10,895 --> 00:17:12,743
Enjoy Yourselves.
372
00:17:12,743 --> 00:17:17,701
Kenny, May I See You
For A Moment?
373
00:17:17,701 --> 00:17:19,946
Oh, Excuse Me.
374
00:17:22,470 --> 00:17:23,738
Where's Deirdre?
375
00:17:23,738 --> 00:17:25,473
She's In
The Living Room.
376
00:17:25,473 --> 00:17:27,475
What Did She Say?
377
00:17:27,475 --> 00:17:28,911
She Says
378
00:17:28,911 --> 00:17:32,580
Before She Sees You Again,
You Must Promise Three Things.
379
00:17:32,580 --> 00:17:34,816
Well, Name Them.
380
00:17:34,816 --> 00:17:35,850
Okay.
381
00:17:35,850 --> 00:17:37,252
Number One:
382
00:17:37,252 --> 00:17:39,913
To Be Completely Honest
With Deirdre.
383
00:17:39,913 --> 00:17:41,623
Done.
384
00:17:41,623 --> 00:17:42,915
Number Two:
385
00:17:42,915 --> 00:17:45,913
You Must Promise
To Think Of Others
386
00:17:45,913 --> 00:17:47,911
Before You Think
Of Yourself.
387
00:17:47,911 --> 00:17:49,797
Done.
388
00:17:49,797 --> 00:17:51,232
And Number Three:
389
00:17:51,232 --> 00:17:53,835
You Must Spend
The Next Six Saturdays
390
00:17:53,835 --> 00:17:57,839
Taking Boyfriend Lessons
From Stanley's School Of Charm.
391
00:17:59,741 --> 00:18:00,919
Oh, Come On.
392
00:18:00,919 --> 00:18:02,577
That's Not On There.
393
00:18:02,577 --> 00:18:03,910
Oh, But It Is.
394
00:18:03,910 --> 00:18:06,910
Oh, And Kenny, I Want
To Help You So Much.
395
00:18:06,910 --> 00:18:09,217
Don't Come Near Me, Stanley.
396
00:18:13,916 --> 00:18:17,525
Well, Deirdre's
In The Living Room.
397
00:18:17,525 --> 00:18:20,916
All You Have To Do
Is Sign Right Here.
398
00:18:23,231 --> 00:18:25,400
Now I Know I Love Her.
399
00:18:31,911 --> 00:18:33,917
School Starts Next Saturday.
400
00:18:33,917 --> 00:18:36,411
Hope You Graduate.
401
00:18:44,652 --> 00:18:46,821
Hi, Deirdre.
402
00:18:46,821 --> 00:18:49,290
Hello, Kenny.
403
00:18:49,290 --> 00:18:50,910
I Got Your Note
404
00:18:50,910 --> 00:18:52,918
And I Signed It.
405
00:18:52,918 --> 00:18:55,914
I Would Have Taken
Your Word For It
406
00:18:55,914 --> 00:18:58,912
But I Wanted You To Know
I Was Serious.
407
00:18:58,912 --> 00:19:00,702
I Understand That.
408
00:19:00,702 --> 00:19:02,917
I Deserve It.
409
00:19:02,917 --> 00:19:05,840
One Of The Reasons
I Like You
410
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:08,876
Is You Have
A Great Imagination.
411
00:19:08,876 --> 00:19:11,846
I Admired The Stories
You Wrote In English.
412
00:19:11,846 --> 00:19:15,550
I Never Thought I'd Be
The Twist In One Of Your Plots.
413
00:19:15,550 --> 00:19:19,621
Well, I Didn't Mean
For It To Happen
414
00:19:19,621 --> 00:19:22,910
And I Didn't Mean
To Ruin Your Birthday.
415
00:19:22,910 --> 00:19:25,493
I Just Got You
The Wrong Present
416
00:19:25,493 --> 00:19:26,913
And I Panicked.
417
00:19:26,913 --> 00:19:29,497
Kenny,
It's Okay To Panic.
418
00:19:29,497 --> 00:19:31,918
It's When You Try
To Cover It Up
419
00:19:31,918 --> 00:19:33,912
Is When You Get
In Trouble.
420
00:19:33,912 --> 00:19:34,912
You're Right.
421
00:19:34,912 --> 00:19:36,910
Why Don't We Start Over
422
00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:38,606
And See How It Goes?
423
00:19:38,606 --> 00:19:39,912
Good Idea.
424
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:43,378
Look, I Know
This Is A Last-Minute Party
425
00:19:43,378 --> 00:19:44,913
But I'd Be Honored
426
00:19:44,913 --> 00:19:46,481
If You'd Come.
427
00:19:46,481 --> 00:19:47,917
Okay, Kenny.
428
00:19:59,919 --> 00:20:01,918
All:
Happy Birthday, Deirdre!
429
00:20:03,910 --> 00:20:05,533
Thank You, Kenny.
430
00:20:07,913 --> 00:20:09,914
May I Have This Dance?
431
00:20:09,914 --> 00:20:11,773
Certainly.
432
00:20:13,915 --> 00:20:14,915
Rudy?
433
00:20:16,511 --> 00:20:19,547
(Playing Slow Cha-Cha)