Theo!
Here's Your Mom's Bags!
Well, Cliff...
I'm Off.
All Right, Honey.
Take Care.
Don't You Want To Stay A Little While?
Do You Have To Leave?
Well, No.
Well, Good.
But I Better.
I Better Leave Right Now.
I Better Go Now.
Well, Washington's Gain Is Our Loss.
I Want You To Behave Yourself.
In This Dress?
I Don't Want You Going Out There
Running Up And Down The Hallways
Knocking On Strange Men's Doors
And Streaking Past The White House.
Well, What Can I Do Then?
I Know What You'll Be Doing.
What Will I Be Doing?
Tell Me.
Tell Me To Behave Myself
And You've Got An Unsupervised Weekend Ahead Of You.
Don't Go Up Under There.
How Did You Know I Was Going Up Under There?
You're Only Going To Get Soot.
That's All, I'm Telling You.
There Is Cholesterol In This Kitchen
And I Mean To Find It.
I Know You.
There Are Cookies And Chips.
I Haven't... There's No Chips.
Nothing, I'm Telling You.
That's What We're Eating, See?
That's What I'm Eating.
Look At The Greens On Top.
Don't Demonstrate Those Sad Little Uncut Vegetables To Me.
As Soon As I Walk Out
You'll Take Them Back To The Market
And Trade Them For Some Sad Lunch Meat.
Oh, This Is Pitiful.
I Am Hurt.
What's In There?
It's Seven Grain Bread.
Would Have Been Eleven
But I Got To The Bakery Too Late.
So, That's It.
Go To Washington, D.C.
You've Worn Out Your Welcome.
Go Ahead.
Don't Look Under The Table.
There's Nothing There.
Theo: Mom, We're Going To Be Late!
Your Son's Calling You.
Bye-Bye.
Take Care.
You Be Good, Now.
I Will.
All Right.
Go Ahead.
I'll Call You When I Get There.
I Miss You.
Bye.
Especially In The Dark.
(Sighing)
Aha!
Why Don't You Dry Up?
Aha, What?
Aha, This?
Aha, Yourself.
I'm Slicing These Things.
I'm Cooking.
I've Turned Over A New Leaf Now, I'm Telling You.
You Never Know When I'm Going To Show Up.
I'll Be Ready For You.
What Do You Think
About This, And This?
No Way.
What's The Matter With It?
It Doesn't Make A Statement.
You're Wearing Daisies.
What Statement Does That Make?
Look At These.
What Do These Say?
Susan, Those Are So Elegant.
Three For A Dollar At The Accessory Hut.
Do You Know How Sharon Williams
And Her So-Called Friends, Mary And Joanne
Are Getting To The Dance?
Isn't Their Mom Taking Them?
Their Mothers Are Giving Them Money For A Cab.
I Don't Believe It.
She's Probably Just Making That Up.
No. It's True.
We're Going To Hear About This Forever.
I Know How To Show Sharon Who's Really Hot And Independent.
What?
Forget About The Cab.
We Could Take The Subway To The Dance.
Subway?
Into Manhattan? At Night?
What Is More Hot And Independent Than An Adventuresome Woman?
Rudy, You Are So Right.
Can You Imagine The Look On Their Faces
When We Tell Them How We Got There?
Yeah.
Wait.
What About Our Parents?
If We Show Them We Know What We're Doing
I Don't See Why They Wouldn't Let Us Go.
Yeah.
By The Way, How Do We Get There?
Hey, Rudy, Are You Finished With My Gold Hoop Earrings?
Pam, Charmaine, Come On In.
If You Were Taking
The Subway Tonight...
Near Laguardia Hall...
...How Would You Get There?
By The Subway.
From The Clark Street Station
Take The Number Two Or Three
To 241st Street In The Bronx, Or 148th In Harlem
Stay In The Middle Of The Cars
Transfer At Fulton Street, Go Upstairs--
This Is Also The Broadway/Nassau Station--
Take The "A" To Washington Heights
Or "C" To The Bronx At West Fourth Street.
Thank You, Charmaine.
Now, Why Would We Want To Go There?
We Don't.
We're Going To The Movies.
I'm Talking About Them, Charmaine.
Rudy?
There's A Dance.
And You Think Your Dad
Will Let You Take The Subway?
When Did You First Take The Subway At Night?
I Was Ten.
And I Was Nine.
I Was Just Tall For My Age.
If Our Parents Would Let Us Do That
We'd Be Really Mature By Now.
Instead Of Being Dropped Off Like Kids.
Listen To That.
They Don't Want To Be Driven Places.
If My Family Had A Car, And Time To Drive Me Around
Honey, I Would Call People To Come Out
And Watch Me Leave.
Well, We Want To Take The Subway.
So, Could We Hear Those Directions Again?
Take The Two Or The Three To 241st Street...
Let Me Get A Pencil And Pad So I Won't Miss A Thing.
They're Going To Get Lost.
Come On.
Hello!
Hey... Hey...
How You Doing, Honey?
Good, Good.
Dr. Huxtable!
Long, Long, Long Time.
Look At You.
You're Looking Good!
Thank You Very Much.
Tracy Just Got In, So We're Having Dinner At Abbott's.
Oh, My Goodness.
We Thought We'd Stop By Here First And Say Hi.
Where's Mom?
I Wanted To Return This Law Book.
Mom Is Away At Washington, D.C., Pardon Me.
Lawyer's Convention, You See?
But You Know What?
You Guys Can Join Us.
Oh, No, No.
We're Celebrating.
Tracy Just Drove In From Oregon.
You're Kidding.
How Long Did It Take?
Six Weeks.
Well, You Know, They've Upped The Speed Limit.
Dr. Huxtable, I Stopped To Take Photographs.
Oh, Dad... Broccoli?
Steamed.
And Chicken...
Boiled.
Brown Rice?
The Only Way You Can Do It.
Yes, Indeed.
Where's The Stuff That You're Going To Eat?
(Sarcastically:) Heh, Heh, Heh, Heh, Heh.
That's It.
Every Time My Mother's Out Of Town
My Dad Gorges Himself On Junk Food.
I'm Telling You, I Turned Over A New Leaf.
You've Turned Over A New Leaf A Couple Of Times Before
But The Old Leaf Was Always
Right Under There Waiting For You.
Go Ahead, Sing Something.
Oh, Okay.
The Attire For Going Out-- You Got It Together?
All: Yep. We're All Ready.
Okay, And Your Mother
Is Going To Pick The Three Of You Up Here
And Take You To The Dance?
I'm Asking You A Question.
Yeah.
Okay.
And Your Mother Is Going
To Pick The Three Of You Up At The Dance
And Drop Rudy Off Here?
That's The Plan.
Or We'll Take The Subway.
(Tapping Bowl)
Nice Try.
I Have To Give A Lecture.
I Know None Of You Like Lectures.
But Rudy Is Our Last Child
And I Knew From Experience-- The Other Four--
That When The Three Of You Came Down In A Line
There Was Something Tricky Going On.
So, Then You Walk Off And You Say
"Or We'll Take The Subway."
See?
Like, Hoping That Maybe My Brain
Fell Into One Of Those Steam Pots.
Well, It Didn't.
Now, All I Want To Know Is...
Subway...
I Mean, How Are You Going To Do That?
Oh, We'll Buy Some Tokens.
And You, Too, Have Humor.
I Am Asking How You're Going To Knock Me Out
Tie Me Up, Throw Me Down In The Cellar
And The Three Of You Take Off On A Subway
To Go To This Dance.
We'll Be In High School In Only Two Years.
This Changes The Subject, Doesn't It?
We've Gone To The Subway
To Now When You're Graduating And Going To Be In High School.
What Does That Have To Do With Tonight's Subway?
We Take The Two To The Bronx
Or The Three To Harlem.
Then Take The "C" Or "A"
To The Bronx Or Washington Heights.
And Then Get Off At Washington Square/West Fourth.
Good.
So, You Keep That In Mind Two Years From Now
When You're In High School.
But, Dad...
No, No, No.
Please, Don't "But, Dad" Me.
I've Got Three Young Ladies
Supposed To Have Somebody Pick Them Up And Take 'Em...
And Now You All Are Changing This Around.
I Need Two Parents, A Volunteer
To Ride The Subway Train With You.
If A Parent Goes
It's The Same As Driving Us There.
Could You Clarify That?
We Want To Go By Ourselves.
Then The Answer's Easy-- No.
But...
Thank You Very Much.
♪ Da-Dun, Da-Duh... ♪
And That Doesn't Help, Either.
Not Going To Get Me In Trouble.
"Oh, Yeah, Sure."
"Go Ahead."
"Yeah, Ride."
And I'll Be Popular With The Kids.
And Then The Parents Call Up.
"Have You Seen Our Children?
They're On The 11:00 News, You Know."
Here It Is, Salad--
Spinach, Mushrooms, With A Vinaigrette Sauce.
Go Ahead, Hit It.
Salad? Salad? Salad?
Yes.
The Crunchy, Green Stuff.
You've All Eaten It Before.
Good For You-- Nutrition.
Oh, Okay, I Get It.
The Nutrients Before The Feast.
What's The Second Course, Cousin Cliff?
Cookies!
Chicken!
Ooh!
Boiled, With The Skin Taken Off.
Ugh.
Well, I Also Have...
Steamed Broccoli!
You Sure Are Serving
A Lot Of Green Food, Cousin Cliff.
Balance It Out-- Have A Carbohydrate.
French Fries?
Wrong.
Cookies!
Wrong Again.
(Rolling R's:) Brown Rice.
♪ Ta-Da! ♪
All Right, Hit It.
Soy Sauce...
Come On.
Can I Have Some Of That Soy Sauce?
Take Some Of This.
Let's Go.
Yeah, Let's Go.
Oh, I'm Sorry.
Ooh, Ooh, Forgive Me.
So, Cousin Pam, Cousin Best Friend Charmaine
What Are You Doing Tonight?
We're Going To The Movies.
On The Subway?
Yes.
On The Subway.
So, Cousin Pam, Cousin Best Friend Charmaine
Where Is This Movie Theater?
Well, I Understand
It's Across The Street From The Dance
That You're Going To.
What Time Does It Start?
7:30.
Isn't That A Coincidence?
Our Dance Starts At 7:30.
Danielle: And What Time
Will This Movie Be Letting Out?
9:30.
9:30--
The Same Time Our Dance Ends.
Well, Dad Won't Let Us Ride The Subway Alone At Night.
Since We're Going The Same Way, You Think We Could...
Ride With You?
And Bring You Back?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
You're Going To Have To...
I Already Did.
She Says It's Okay.
And I Guess...
I Did Too.
Go Ahead.
All Three: Yes!
Ah, Dr. Huxtable.
Hey.
What Are You Doing?
Reading The Paper, Catching Up On The News.
Can I Read The Newspaper Too?
Okay, I'll Give You The Funnies.
No, No, No.
I Want To Catch Up On The News.
Okay.
I'll Give You The Front Page.
That's The Front Part Of The Paper.
That Will Give You All The News.
All Right?
Perfect. Thank You.
You're Welcome.
Ahh.
Boy, Oh, Boy.
What's The World Coming To?
I Never Thought I'd Live
To See The Day.
You Never Thought You'd Live To See The Day What, Dear?
You Have To Wait Until I'm Finished.
Boy, Oh, Boy.
Give Me This.
Boy, Oh, Boy, Huh?
Mm-Hmm.
Boy...
Boy, Oh, Boy.
Says Here
That Olivia Kendall Has To Wash The Dishes
And Clean The Stove
And Do The Kitchen Floor.
Boy, Oh, Boy!
What?!
Yes.
Give Me That Paper.
It Says Right Here
That Dr. Huxtable Has To Give Olivia
600 Puppies, Plus...
800 Bowls Of Ice Cream At 8:30 Tonight.
Where Am I Going To Get All That By 8:30 Tonight?
I Don't Know.
Look In Your Paper.
It Has All The Big News.
Ahh.
Coming Up Next, The Main Event: The Freeman-Price Bout.
Hey, Dad.
Oh, Hi.
Hi. Hi, Honey.
How Are You?
Good. Great.
How Was Dinner?
Great. Tracy Dropped Me Off.
Well, Good.
Um...
Yeah, So, So, So, Uh... Dinner Was Fine
And All The Children Are Gone Now
And Olivia's Upstairs.
Got Her All Bedded Down
And, Um, I'm Thinking About Turning In Myself.
So, Um...
You Planning On Staying?
Mm-Hmm.
(Doorbell Rings)
Dr. Huxtable, Here You Go.
Um, Buffalo Wings, Extra Sauce On The Side.
Your Soda's In Here.
One Pizza, And One Pint Of Coffee Ice Cream.
Mrs. Huxtable Must Be Gone.
Looks Like It's Going To Be
A Good Fight Tonight.
Olivia, This Food You Ordered Is Here!
Thank You.
Enjoy The Fight, Doctor.
Yeah, Thank You.
Thank You.
They're Not Allowed Up Here.
You Are The First
And So, I Want You To Enjoy This To The Fullest, Because...
(Phone Ringing)
...I'm Going To Enjoy You.
(Cunning Laughter)
Hello?
Hi, Sweetheart.
Uh...
And How Are You?
I'm Fine.
I Owe You An Apology.
I Doubted Your Commitment To Your Diet
And That Was Wrong.
Yeah, Well, Listen, Honey
Don't Make A Big Thing Out Of It.
Don't Wear Yourself Out, You Know?
Just Let Bygones Be...
Bygones, Okay?
How Was Your Dinner?
Dinner?
Yeah.
Oh, It Was Fantastic.
Just Enjoyed It.
You Know, The Broccoli Florets--
They Were Like Little Brooms, Sweeping Out The Arteries.
Oh, I'm Glad You Feel Better.
You Must Be Very, Very Exhausted By Now
So Get Yourself Some Rest.
Well, I Am.
I Am Tired
But I Attended A Most Interesting Seminar Today
On Partnership Assessment.
Do You Know What The Most Important Element
In A Successful Partnership Is?
Trust?
I Love You.
Good Night.
Yes, I Love You, Too, Honey.
Good Night.
Okay.
Dirty, Dirty, Dirty...
Dirty...
Dirty, Lowdown...
No-Good... Wife.
Dirty!
Able To Look Through The Telephone.
Aw, You're A No-Good, Dirty, Dirty...
See?
Even God Doesn't Want Me To Have It.