This Is The Best Elevator Music I've Ever Heard.
The Temple-North Carolina Game Is Starting.
That Should Be Great.
Hey, What's Up?
You Were Supposed To Help Us In The Yard.
I'm Sorry.
I Slept Through The Alarm.
I Was Up Late Last Night.
Studying Or Justine-Ing?
With Justine.
Oh. Oh.
It Wasn't That.
Justine Got This New Multi-Disc Cd Player.
We Put In Six Cds, Listened To Music
And Just Held Each Other.
And When The Cds Ran Out, You Let Go.
No.
Then We Talked Until The Sun Came Up.
Oh, That's Very Nice.
Things Are Going So Well Between Us.
Whenever We're Together, The Vibes Are Just Powerful.
I've Never Seen One Of Those Multi-Disc Cd Players.
You Can Actually Put Six Cds In?
Wait.
Time Out.
I Can't Believe You Guys.
I'm Sitting Here Talking About Justine And Romance
And All You Care About Is Her Cd Player?
So What?
You Can't Say Anything To Us, Man
Until You're In The 100% Club.
What's The 100% Club?
We Are Married And We Love Our Wives 100%.
Until You Love Your Woman 100%, You Can't Get In This Club.
But Justine And I Have A Wonderful Relationship
As It Stands.
I'm Not Getting Married Now
Because I Don't Want To End Up
In The Marriage Graveyard.
Marriage Graveyard?
That's Where The Romance Goes To Die.
What Are You Saying?
I Don't See The Romance With You Guys Anymore.
Be Honest.
When Was The Last Time You Gave Your Wives
A Long Passionate Kiss?
All The Time.
Not When I'm Around.
Am I Supposed To Call You Every Time I Kiss My Wife?
I Was Over Here The Other Day.
You Came Back From The Store.
You Hadn't Seen Denise All Day.
You Pecked Her On The Cheek
And Went In The Kitchen.
Marriage Graveyard.
Theo, I Was Carrying Groceries.
Put The Groceries Down And Kiss The Woman.
And, Elvin...
Hey, Man...
Now Sondra And I Don't Live Here
So Don't Give Me Any Comments About How I Romance My Wife.
Elvin, Last Week I Was At Your House.
After Dinner, We Sat Down To Watch Your Movie.
You Put Your Head In Sondra's Lap
And You Fell Asleep...
Snoring Loudly.
Marriage Graveyard.
I Don't Remember That.
And, Dad...
There's No "And, Dad."
I Have Five Children.
I Don't Have To Prove Anything To Anybody.
Great Game.
Yes, Temple!
Did You See Theo Run Out Of Here
At The Final Buzzer?
Yeah.
He Goes Over To Justine's
Gets A Little Hugging And Kissing
And He Thinks It's Romance.
Theo Thinks He Had A Romantic Evening
With Justine And Those Six Cds.
I Remember Last Fall
It Was A Beautiful, Warm Autumn Evening.
Denise And I Took A Walk Across The Brooklyn Bridge.
About Halfway There, She Got Too Tired
So I Picked Her Up
And I Carried Her The Rest Of The Way.
By The Time I Was Done, Boy, I Was Tired.
Denise Looks Small, But That's A Long Walk.
We Found A Bench
And Looked Out Over The East River
At The Moon Reflecting On The Water.
That's Romance.
That Was A Romantic Evening.
Without Cds.
Please. Without Cds.
What Does Theo Know About Being Romantic?
I'll Tell You A Romantic Moment Sondra And I Had.
I Was Studying For An Exam.
Sondra Was In The Room With Winnie.
She Was Crying.
Sondra Was Taking Care Of It.
I Went To Bed Because I Had To Get Up Early
And I Started To Miss Her
So I Took Our Mattress Into Winnie's Room
And We Put Winnie Down Between Us
And Sondra And I Spent 15 Minutes
Singing Love Songs To Her.
And After Winnie Went To Bed
We Kept Singing Them To Each Other.
That Is Romantic.
Don't Tell Me I Don't Have Romance.
Romance.
Nobody's Going To Tell You That.
I Don't Know What Year It Was.
I Remember I Worked About Six Day In A Row
Delivering Babies.
I Had About 12 Hours Sleep In The Six Days.
But Each Time I Got A Chance To Go Home
Clair Just Looked Spent.
I Called Her Secretary And I Said
"I Want You To Send A Dress Over--
"Her Dress, Shoes, A Whole Outfit--
To The Carlyle Hotel."
I Rented A Suite.
Room Service Came Up.
A Little Champagne-- Just A Taste.
We Had Champagne.
We Had Lobster.
We Had Everything.
We Stayed Overnight.
Limousine Drove Us Home.
Now Is That Romance Or What, Huh?
Well, Dad, I Don't Mean To Put You Down
But, You Know, Anyone Can Have Romance
If They Spend Money Like That For It.
You Know?
Martin And I Use Our Limited Resources
To Create Romance For Our Wives.
I Personally Think That's A Higher Form Of Romance.
I Agree.
Are The Two Of You Telling Me
That I Couldn't Be As Romantic If I Didn't Have The Big Bucks?
All I'm Saying Is That It's Been A While
Since You've Been Used To Anything Else.
Are You Busy Saturday?
No.
We Get Dressed In Tuxedos.
We Have Dinner Here.
Each Man, Prior To The Dinner
Will Go Out And Buy His Wife A Present...
There You Go Again.
That's Buying Things To Create Romance.
Let Me Finish.
The Present Is From The Heart
And Each Man Cannot Spend Any More Than $25, Tax Included
On The Present.
I Like This.
Yeah?
But How Will We Be Able To Tell
Who's Been The Most Romantic?
From The Reaction Of Our Wives.
And The Winner Will Be The Emperor Of Romance.
Do You Agree?
I Like This.
I Accept The Challenge.
All For One...
All: One For All, And Three For Five.
Can't Wait.
No, Jake!
Listen To Me Carefully.
25 Dollars Maximum
Tax Included.
Something Romantic For My Wife.
Don't You Have Something?
No, Jake!
I Don't Want An Electric Can Opener.
Now, Come Up With Something!
You Call Me Back.
Hey, Dad.
How You Doing?
I Hear There's A Big Dinner Happening Here For The Wives
And Mr. Lamont Is Cooking It.
He's An Old Friend Who's Returning A Favor.
Well, You're Welcome For The Inspiration.
Whoa, Whoa, Whoa.
Let Me Ask You A Question.
What's Up?
You're A...
A Young Man And You Have A Girlfriend
And No Money.
What Was The Last Thing That You Can Remember
That You Gave Her
And When You Gave It To Her
She Just Fell Apart
And Hugged You And Kissed You?
The Other Day, Justine Mentioned
That She Was Out Of Subway Tokens.
So I Went Down And Bought Her A Ten-Pack Of Tokens.
Wrapped It Up In Little Ribbon.
Then I Gave It To Her.
Tokens?
She Gave Me A Big Old Kiss
Right There On The Subway Platform.
Then Again, She Gives Me Those Kinds Of Kisses
All The Time
Because We're Not Married.
Yeah, Well, You Idiot!
Your Mother Doesn't Ride The Subway!
Hey, Dad.
Hi, Dr. Huxtable.
Where Have You Guys Been?
We Were Shopping.
Ahh.
I Bet You Were Shopping For Denise's Present.
A Very Special Present.
Denise Will Love It.
How About Your Gift?
The Gift That I Have For Mrs. Huxtable
After Everybody Sees It
That Present You Have In That Bag
Will Look Like It Came Out Of That Bag.
We Will See About That.
Now I'll Go Upstairs And Hide This.
Olivia?
Come Here, Dear.
I Haven't Seen Much Of You.
Well, Well, Well.
I Haven't Seen That Much Of You.
So You Went Over To The Mall.
That's Right.
Nice Places You Went To?
You Want To Know What We Got Denise?
Yes.
I'll Tell You.
We Got Denise...
Hmm.
Would You Look At That?
A Nasty Hangnail.
Do You Ever Get These?
Are You Going To Tell Me What The Gift Is?
I'll Give You A Hint
But Listen Carefully.
A Wet Moose Walks Backwards At Night
But...
An Old Buzzard Whistles In His Sleep.
It Makes No Sense.
Maybe Not
But I Know What Denise's Present Is
And You Don't.
Bye-Bye, Dr. Huxtable.
Hi, Dad.
Hi, Everybody.
All: Hi.
You Look Gorgeous.
Thank You.
I Bet You Can't Wait To Get Your Gifts.
Oops.
We're Getting Gifts?
I Didn't Say That.
I Heard You Say
"I Bet You Can't Wait To Get Your Gifts."
I Wasn't Supposed To.
Let's Change The Subject.
Olivia, If Something's Going On
That We Don't Know About
Maybe You Should Share It With Us.
Women Always Share Secrets.
That's Right.
Okay. The Husbands Bought You Gifts
But They Could Only Spend $25.
That's What The Bet Was.
What Bet?
Who's The Most Romantic.
Whoever Likes The Gift The Most
Their Husband Wins.
They Made A Bet
To See Who Could Be The Most Romantic?
Yes.
But You Didn't Hear That From Me.
So That's What This Is?
It Has Nothing To Do With Us.
It's A Bet.
I Can't Believe We're A Part
Of Some Stupid Macho Contest.
And Where Do They Get Off Spending Only $25?
When Your Father Gives Me His Gift
Even If I Love It
I'm Going To Look Like This.
That's Good, Mom.
Okay, You Do That.
And As Soon As I Open My Gift
I Think I'll Just Have To Fall Asleep.
You Guys!
I'll Go Easy On Martin.
Why? Why?
I'll Do Something More Delicate.
Something Like...
Now, That Was Sensational.
I Have Never Had Food So Good
Not Even Aboard Ship.
Well, Ladies
This Evening Is Not Over Yet.
We Have A Surprise For Each Of You.
Ladies, Did You Hear That?
How Nice.
I Can't Wait.
Sondra...
Darling...
I Love You.
I Mean That From The Bottom Of My Heart.
I'd Like To Give You This.
I Hope That It Means As Much To You
As It Means To Me.
( Loud Yawn )
Oh, Excuse Me.
I Don't Know What Came Over Me.
You've Always Wanted A String Of Pearls.
Since I Couldn't Afford That
I Got You One Pearl
And I'll Add Another One To This String
Every Year Of Our Life Together.
Oh, Elvin...
Oh, Honey, I Love The Thought Of That.
Thank You!
( Clearing Throat )
On Our First Date, You Kissed Me.
As I Walked Back To My Ship
I Used This Handkerchief
To Wipe The Lipstick From My Lips.
You Saved That?
And This...
Is The Flower That You Wore In Your Hair
When We Were Married On A Hill In Africa.
Open It.
And This Is A Time Capsule.
Read The Inscription.
"February 22, 2040."
That's 50 Years From Now.
When We Buy Our First Home Together
We're Going To Bury This In The Backyard
And 50 Years From This Date
We're Going To Open It
Together.
Oh, Martin.
This Is The Most Loving Present
You Could Have Given Me.
Many Years Ago
A Teenage Boy--
Very, Very Early In His Teens--
Walked With His Girlfriend.
And They Went To The Drugstore
To Share A Soda.
And His Girlfriend Looked At A Barrette
Made Of Wood
With A Glass Stone In It.
Cost About 50 Cents.
And She Admired That Barrette
But The Young Teenage Boy
Had No Money To Buy It.
However, For Tonight's Occasion
I Was Fortunate.
I Called And I Called
And I Found A Collectibles Store
That Had One Of These Same Wooden Barrettes
With The Glass Stone In The Center.
And So, I Feel That It's Important
For My Bride
Who Admired That Barrette
To Open It And Wear It Tonight.
You Remember That?
Yes.
You Called Long-Distance For That Barrette?
Yes.
That's Very Sweet, Cliff.
Thank You.
But I Never Wanted The Barrette.
But, But You Said...
When You Looked In...
Eunice Chantilly...
...Wore That Barrette
And I Said It Was Tacky!
What I Wanted
Was A Green Plastic Bracelet, Cliff.
Not That Tacky Barrette.
This Is...
Oh, Cliff!