Why Only One Candle?
Mom's 46.
Women Mom's Age
Don't Like To Be Reminded Of How Old They Are.
She's Coming.
Hurry Up.
Good Morning.
Happy Birthday, Mom!
Thank You.
Thank You So Much.
That's So Sweet Of You.
You Know This Is My Favorite Thing
Grapefruit With Wax On It.
Blow Out The Candle And Make A Wish.
Yea! Yea!
Theo Only Used One Candle So You Wouldn't Feel Bad.
Why Would I Feel Bad?
You Are Getting Up There.
It Really Doesn't Bother Me To Be 46.
It Doesn't Bother You
At All?
Not In The Least.
I'm Happy To Hear That.
Kara Said Her Mom Turned 46 And Went Into A Deep Depression.
She Said It Wasn't Bad Being 45
Because She Was Still Close To 40.
But When She Turned 46
She Knew 50 Was Around The Corner.
Vanessa.
I Apologize For Their Insensitivity.
I Asked Them Not To Bring Up Your Age
Because It's Rough On You.
I Love Being 46.
I Think It's A Lovely Age.
So Do I.
You Look Good
For Your Age.
Thank You.
No, You Really Look Good.
Yeah, Mom, You Really Look Good.
Really!
Thank You.
Isn't There Someplace Else You Need To Go?
Yeah, To The Mall And Buy Your Present.
We Waited To Get Something Really Special.
Oh, You Forgot My Birthday.
Did We Forget Mom's Birthday?
No!
Let's Get To The Mall
Before They Run Out Of The Thing We're Getting.
What Thing?
The Thing We've Talked About.
Oh, That Thing.
Morning, Birthday Girl.
Good Morning, Cliff.
Forty-Six.
♪ Forty-Six ♪
♪ Loo-Doo Da Doo Doo Doo ♪
Yesterday, 45.
Today, 46.
Just Another Pebble Dropping Into The Pond Of Life.
Forty-Six...
Ka-Poosh!
See, When You Get Up Around 50
Then You Have A Boulder
Dropping Into A Smaller Pond
Because It's Kind Of Drying Up.
Ka-Pow!
Then You Get To 60 And 70.
All Dried Up.
All You Hear Is...
(Mimics Wind Whistling)
I Was Really Feeling Good This Morning
Till I Ran Into My Family
And Started Getting Grief Over Turning 46.
Let Me Tell You--
It's Nothing But A Number.
That's What Old Jake Used To Say
The Fellow That Shines Shoes
In The Visitors' Lounge At The Hospital.
He'd Pop That Rag And Everybody Having A Birthday He'd Say
Pop! Pop! "Ain't Nothing But A Number."
That's Right.
Died At 46.
Let Me Tell You Something, Though.
Regardless Of What Anybody Says
You Still Look Good.
Why Did You Use That Word "Still"?
You Used To Say, "Clair, You Look Good."
Am I Not Supposed To Look Good?
You're Absolutely Correct.
The Word "Still" Is Out.
You Look Good.
Sit Down Right Over Here, Mrs. Huxtable.
Karen Will Be With You Soon.
Today Is My Birthday.
My Husband Is Taking Me To Lunch.
Our Birthday Special Is Everything Half Price.
Really?
Oh, But Wait.
It Only Applies To Women Over 40.
Bless You.
Clair?
Lorraine.
Happy Birthday.
Oh, Thank You.
I'm So Glad It's Your Birthday.
How Else Could We Get Our Husbands
To Take Us To Lunch.
Mrs. Huxtable?
I'm Finishing Up Mrs. Erickson.
I'll Be Ready For You Next.
Thank You.
Hi, Karen.
Hi, Mrs. Clark.
Amy's Ready For You Over There.
There Goes An Attractive Woman.
I Know.
Hard To Believe She's 47.
Forty-Seven? Quit.
No, She Is.
I'll Bet She Had A Ton Of Work Done.
She Doesn't Even Color Her Hair.
I Hate Her.
She Should Be Dropped Off The Planet.
Mrs. Huxtable, What Are You Complaining About?
You Still Look Good.
Now Who Did That?
A Sick And Vicious Person.
Cliff.
Cliff?
Hi, Birthday Girl.
Alberto And I Have Been Waiting For You.
I Thought We Were Meeting You At The Restaurant.
My Best Wishes To You On This Your Birthday.
Thank You.
Did You Have Anything To Do
With This Clever Joke?
What An Unfortunate Mistake.
Who Did This Terrible Thing?
We Were Just Playing A Little Joke.
The Kids Did It.
There You Go.
I'm Through With You.
I Know You Are.
Let's Sit Down.
You Know Cliff Is Teasing You.
He Loves You So Much.
He Keeps A Picture Of You In His Locker At The Hospital.
It's A Picture Of You When You Were Younger.
I Would Like To Propose A Toast To...
The Birthday Girl.
'Course, Not A Girl Anymore.
Watch It.
I Would Like To Toast My Wife Whom I Love Very Much
No Matter What Number.
Hear! Hear!
Now I Would Like To Propose A Toast.
Aclair
Una Mujer DeImperecedera Belleza.
Muchas Gracias, Alberto.
Agradezco El Brindis.
Lo Digo Sinceramente.
Si, Porque EresUn Autentico Caballero.
I Would Appreciate You Not Hitting On My Wife.
I Was Telling Your Wife That Her Beauty Is Timeless.
Sounded Like, "Let's Go Out In The Garage."
Okay, Well, To Set All That Aside
I, Of Course, Have Prepared Something Special
Along With Our Children.
We Have A Little Thing We're Going To Do For You Called
"When Mom Was My Age."
Hit It.
When Mom Was My Age, The Year Was 1961.
John Kennedy Was President.
The Minimum Wage Was A Dollar An Hour.
An Eight-Course Dinner At A Steak House Cost $3.75.
And How Much Was Cabbage?
30 Cents A Head.
The Christmas Eve Concert At Carnegie Hall Cost 50 Cents.
But You Could Listen To A Guy Named Chubby Checker
Who Started A New Dance Craze.
(Twist Music Plays)
And That's What Was Happening In 1961... A Long Time Ago.
I Don't Think I Like Where This Is Going.
Oh, Goodness, I Knew It.
When Mom Was My Age, It Was 1958.
Ike Was President.
Alvin Ailey Formed His Own Dance Company
And You Could Buy A Brand-New Oldsmobile For Only $2,900.
And How Much Was Cabbage?
15 Cents A Head.
In 1958, Teenagers Said Things Like
"Dig That Crazy, Mixed-Up Cat" And "You're The Most, Man."
"Real Gone."
You Forgot My Favorite.
"Blast Off, Daddy-O."
Also In 1958
People Dressed Like This To Go To Sock Hops
Where They Did Dances Like The Hand Jive.
("The Hand Jive" Plays)
And That Was 1958, A Long, Long Time Ago.
You People Are Cruel.
When Mom Was My Age...
Even My Baby Has Turned On Me.
It Was 1952.
Harry Truman Was President.
How Much Was Cabbage?
Cabbage?
There Was No Cabbage.
There Were Only 48 States.
A Large Pizza Cost 75 Cents.
The Average House Was Worth $4,600.
Dad, How Much Did You Pay For This House?
A Lot Of Cabbage.
And That Was 1952.
A Long, Long, Long, Time Ago.
Thank You And Get Out.
Happy Birthday, Mom.
When I Was In Medical School In Spain
We Would Go To The Restaurants And Sing For Our Supper.
Would You Allow Me To Sing?
I'd Be Honored.
No, Wait, Wait.
This Is My Wife's Birthday, So I Will Sing.
That Won't Be Necessary.
You Don't Have To Sing, Dear.
You Have A Song For Your Wife?
Yes.
♪ Be Kind To Your Old, Ragged Wife ♪
♪ For She Sags And She Bags And She Sputters ♪
This Is More Embarrassing For You Than For Me.
Alberto, You Promised Me A Song.
A Song You Shall Have.
You Remember The One That Goes:
♪ Amor, Amor, Amor ♪
(Toot Toot Toot)
♪ Nacio De Ti, Nacio De Mi De La Esperanza ♪
(Tooooot)
Let Me Take A "D".
♪ Amor, Amor, Amor ♪
♪ Nacio De Dios, Para Los Dos ♪
♪ Nacio Del Alma ♪
Or Maybe The Other One.
♪ Besame, Besame Mucho ♪
♪ Como Si Fuera Esta NocheLa Ultima Vez ♪
♪ Besame, Besame Mucho ♪
♪ Que Tengo Miedo Perderte ♪
♪ Perderte Despues ♪
♪ Quiero Tenerte Muy Cerca Mirame En Tus Ojos ♪
♪ Verte Junto A Mi ♪
♪ Piensa Que Tal Vez Manana ♪
♪ Yo Ya Estare Lejos ♪
♪ Muy Lejos De Aqui ♪
♪ Besame ♪
♪ Besame Mucho ♪
♪ Como Si Fuera Esta Noche ♪
♪ La Ultima Vez ♪
♪ Besame, Besame Mucho ♪
♪ Que Tengo Miedo Perderte ♪
♪ Perderte Despues! ♪
So There!
It Was A Great Afternoon.
You Turned This Day Around For Me.
Thank You Very Much.
Lunch Was Wonderful And I Enjoyed The Song.
I Put My Best Effort Forward.
Not That Song, Fool, The Song Alberto Sang.
What An Exquisite Voice He Has.
It's Not Difficult To Sing Like That.
All You Do Is Take Your Voice Up
(In A Deep Voice:) And You Talk Like This All The Time.
It's Nice To Be Here.
♪ Besame, Besame Mucho ♪
We'll Call You.
It Was Really Great.
And The Food Was So Good.
You Know, I Loved The Food.
And You Didn't Touch The Dessert.
When It Came, You Went Like That.
I Noticed That You Did Not Buy That Hateful Cake
With The White Icing And Strawberries On It
Like You Usually Get For My Birthday.
I Am Never Eating That Again.
You Might.
I Wouldn't Say That
If I Were You.
I Commend You On Saying You're Not Going To Eat It
But Then Again, It's A Long Time.
46, 47, 48...
You'll See.
You Will See.
Okay.
(Soft Jazz Plays)