1 00:01:08,398 --> 00:01:09,731 Clair: Rudy. 2 00:01:09,731 --> 00:01:10,831 Is Theo Home? 3 00:01:10,831 --> 00:01:11,931 No. 4 00:01:11,931 --> 00:01:14,131 Are We Late For Vanessa's Play? 5 00:01:14,131 --> 00:01:15,264 We Better Not Be. 6 00:01:15,264 --> 00:01:17,631 We May Have To Leave Without Him. 7 00:01:17,631 --> 00:01:20,231 My Fine, Fellow Patrons Of The Arts 8 00:01:20,231 --> 00:01:24,564 Are We Ready For A Rousing Evening Of Musical Theater? 9 00:01:24,564 --> 00:01:25,931 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 10 00:01:25,931 --> 00:01:26,931 All Right! 11 00:01:26,931 --> 00:01:28,998 Did You Tell Theo To Come Home 12 00:01:28,998 --> 00:01:30,531 After That Meet? 13 00:01:30,531 --> 00:01:31,864 I Told Him 6:00. 14 00:01:31,864 --> 00:01:33,598 Maybe The Meet Ran Late. 15 00:01:33,598 --> 00:01:35,298 I'll Write Him A Note. 16 00:01:35,298 --> 00:01:36,631 We Have To Leave. 17 00:01:36,631 --> 00:01:40,131 I Can't Wait To See Vanessa In The Play. 18 00:01:40,131 --> 00:01:42,998 We'll Whistle At Her When She's Onstage. 19 00:01:42,998 --> 00:01:45,064 No, You Can't Whistle. 20 00:01:45,064 --> 00:01:48,298 ( Speaking In British Accent ) Let Me Tell You Something 21 00:01:48,298 --> 00:01:50,898 About When You Go To The Theater. 22 00:01:50,898 --> 00:01:54,098 You Must Comport Yourself In The Proper Manner. 23 00:01:54,098 --> 00:01:58,331 You Sit All Like This When You're At The Theater. 24 00:01:58,331 --> 00:01:59,531 Yes. 25 00:01:59,531 --> 00:02:00,631 Relax A Little. 26 00:02:00,631 --> 00:02:01,631 That's It. 27 00:02:01,631 --> 00:02:03,631 When We See Something We Like 28 00:02:03,631 --> 00:02:04,664 We Don't Whistle. 29 00:02:04,664 --> 00:02:06,531 We Don't Stamp Our Feet. 30 00:02:06,531 --> 00:02:07,831 We Applaud Like This 31 00:02:07,831 --> 00:02:12,498 And We Say, "Bravo." 32 00:02:12,498 --> 00:02:14,364 Bravo. Bravo. Bravo. 33 00:02:14,364 --> 00:02:16,298 And "Fantastic." 34 00:02:16,298 --> 00:02:17,831 Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. 35 00:02:17,831 --> 00:02:19,598 Marvelous. 36 00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:20,864 Marvelous. Marvelous. Marvelous. 37 00:02:20,864 --> 00:02:22,364 I Say. 38 00:02:22,364 --> 00:02:24,698 I Say. I Say. I Say. 39 00:02:24,698 --> 00:02:26,298 Okay, I Finished The Note. 40 00:02:26,298 --> 00:02:27,831 Hi. 41 00:02:27,831 --> 00:02:30,231 Theo, Why Are You So Late? 42 00:02:30,231 --> 00:02:32,064 We Had Trouble Getting Home. 43 00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:32,998 What A Mess. 44 00:02:32,998 --> 00:02:33,998 We're Leaving. 45 00:02:33,998 --> 00:02:34,898 Let's Go. 46 00:02:34,898 --> 00:02:36,298 Okay. 47 00:02:36,298 --> 00:02:37,998 Cliff: Where Are You Going? 48 00:02:37,998 --> 00:02:39,264 Your Mother Said We're Leaving. 49 00:02:39,264 --> 00:02:41,498 Can't We Get Something To Eat? 50 00:02:41,498 --> 00:02:44,564 The Coach Buys The Team Burgers After Every Meet. 51 00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:46,298 Yeah, But We're Still Hungry. Starved. 52 00:02:46,298 --> 00:02:47,998 You've Got Five Seconds. 53 00:02:47,998 --> 00:02:50,131 Grab Something, And Then Let's Go. 54 00:02:50,131 --> 00:02:51,298 And I'm Counting. 55 00:02:51,298 --> 00:02:52,731 One. 56 00:02:52,731 --> 00:02:54,564 How Can Those Boys Eat Hamburgers 57 00:02:54,564 --> 00:02:56,231 And Still Be Hungry? 58 00:02:56,231 --> 00:02:58,064 You Run 2h Miles 59 00:02:58,064 --> 00:03:01,031 You Need Something To Supplement The Meal. 60 00:03:01,031 --> 00:03:03,198 Come On, You Guys, Let's Go. 61 00:03:03,198 --> 00:03:05,398 We're Going To Be Late! 62 00:03:09,031 --> 00:03:10,331 Ladies And Gentlemen 63 00:03:10,331 --> 00:03:13,831 Introducing The First Lady Of Musical Theater 64 00:03:13,831 --> 00:03:16,298 The Inimitable, The Indestructible 65 00:03:16,298 --> 00:03:20,998 The Unsinkable Dame Vanessa Huxtable. 66 00:03:20,998 --> 00:03:21,864 Bravo! Bravo! 67 00:03:21,864 --> 00:03:24,164 Good Show, I Say! 68 00:03:24,164 --> 00:03:26,198 Oh, Vanessa 69 00:03:26,198 --> 00:03:28,398 I Have Seen Many, Many Productions Of South Pacific 70 00:03:28,398 --> 00:03:30,664 But This Was By Far My Favorite. 71 00:03:30,664 --> 00:03:31,764 Thank You. 72 00:03:31,764 --> 00:03:35,031 There's So Much Talent In Your Class. 73 00:03:35,031 --> 00:03:36,298 Thanks, Mom. 74 00:03:36,298 --> 00:03:37,498 Too Bad You Missed 75 00:03:37,498 --> 00:03:39,998 The First Part Of My Song, Theo. 76 00:03:39,998 --> 00:03:41,831 I'm Sorry I Made Us Late. 77 00:03:41,831 --> 00:03:44,164 I Tried To Get Home On Time. 78 00:03:44,164 --> 00:03:46,598 I Even Left Circus Burger Without Eating. 79 00:03:46,598 --> 00:03:49,798 You Walked In In The Middle Of My Only Number 80 00:03:49,798 --> 00:03:52,798 Just As I Was Saying, "Pourquoi, Pourquoi." 81 00:03:52,798 --> 00:03:54,264 It Was In French. 82 00:03:54,264 --> 00:03:56,598 Nobody Cared What You Were Saying, Anyway. 83 00:03:56,598 --> 00:03:58,931 No, Wait. 84 00:03:58,931 --> 00:03:59,598 We've Had A Wonderful Evening. 85 00:03:59,598 --> 00:04:00,598 Don't Ruin It. 86 00:04:00,598 --> 00:04:02,464 I'll Go Take My Makeup Off. 87 00:04:02,464 --> 00:04:05,764 Come On, Rudy, I'll Tell You What It's Like 88 00:04:05,764 --> 00:04:07,964 Being Adored By Hundreds Of People. 89 00:04:07,964 --> 00:04:10,164 I'm Going To Get Something To Drink. 90 00:04:10,164 --> 00:04:14,498 We Only Have Five Quarts Of Milk And Two Gallons Of Juice Left. 91 00:04:14,498 --> 00:04:16,231 Right, Dad. 92 00:04:16,231 --> 00:04:17,231 Oh... 93 00:04:17,231 --> 00:04:19,331 My Head. 94 00:04:19,331 --> 00:04:20,631 What? 95 00:04:20,631 --> 00:04:22,198 Oh, My Head. 96 00:04:22,198 --> 00:04:27,231 I Don't Mind Having To Listen To Some 14-Year-Old Sing And Dance 97 00:04:27,231 --> 00:04:29,898 But When They Pick Up A Musical Instrument 98 00:04:29,898 --> 00:04:31,498 It Tears Me Apart. 99 00:04:31,498 --> 00:04:32,564 It Sounded Like 100 00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:35,531 Somebody Sat On A Rocking Chair 101 00:04:35,531 --> 00:04:39,631 And Caught 18 Cats By The Tail. 102 00:04:39,631 --> 00:04:42,664 Cliff, Theo Said Something That's Got Me Puzzled. 103 00:04:43,798 --> 00:04:45,731 Theo Was 15 Minutes Late Getting Home. 104 00:04:45,731 --> 00:04:49,664 He Said He Ate At Circus Burger. 105 00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:50,831 Now He Says 106 00:04:50,831 --> 00:04:53,331 He Didn't Eat After The Track Meet. 107 00:04:53,331 --> 00:04:56,264 Sometimes You Can't Remember If You Ate. 108 00:04:56,264 --> 00:05:00,131 There's Something Going On Besides A Lack Of Oxygen. 109 00:05:00,131 --> 00:05:01,998 I'm Going To Ask Him. 110 00:05:01,998 --> 00:05:03,131 But My Head... 111 00:05:03,131 --> 00:05:05,131 It Won't Go Anywhere. 112 00:05:05,131 --> 00:05:07,298 I Don't Know About That. 113 00:05:07,298 --> 00:05:09,598 It Might Go Upstairs. 114 00:05:09,598 --> 00:05:10,564 Theo? 115 00:05:10,564 --> 00:05:11,531 Don't Worry, Mom. 116 00:05:11,531 --> 00:05:13,764 I'll Save Some For Breakfast. 117 00:05:13,764 --> 00:05:15,231 Thank You. 118 00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:17,964 Didn't You Say You Ate At Circus Burger? 119 00:05:17,964 --> 00:05:19,531 I Said We Went There. 120 00:05:19,531 --> 00:05:20,731 I Didn't Eat. 121 00:05:20,731 --> 00:05:22,364 You Didn't Eat Anything? 122 00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:26,664 The Coach Said To Get On The Bus Before We Got Our Burgers. 123 00:05:26,664 --> 00:05:29,964 Why Would The Coach Make Everybody Get On The Bus 124 00:05:29,964 --> 00:05:31,098 Before They Ate? 125 00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:34,631 He Didn't Do It To Everybody. 126 00:05:34,631 --> 00:05:35,631 How Many? 127 00:05:35,631 --> 00:05:38,064 Two. 128 00:05:38,731 --> 00:05:40,464 Hey, Theo, Come Here. 129 00:05:40,464 --> 00:05:41,764 Come Here. 130 00:05:41,764 --> 00:05:42,831 Yeah? 131 00:05:42,831 --> 00:05:44,698 Only You And Cockroach? 132 00:05:44,698 --> 00:05:46,098 Yeah, It Was Strange. 133 00:05:46,098 --> 00:05:48,931 Cockroach And I Were Waiting For Our Burgers 134 00:05:48,931 --> 00:05:52,398 When Suddenly Coach Comes In And Yells, "Everybody, That's It. 135 00:05:52,398 --> 00:05:54,764 We're Leaving." 136 00:05:54,764 --> 00:05:56,464 That's Not Proper Behavior For A Coach. 137 00:05:56,464 --> 00:06:01,031 I Know, But It's A Difficult Time For Him Right Now. 138 00:06:01,031 --> 00:06:02,364 It Is? 139 00:06:02,364 --> 00:06:06,598 Some Of The Guys Said That He's Having Problems 140 00:06:06,598 --> 00:06:08,298 With His Wife. 141 00:06:08,298 --> 00:06:11,298 So I Guess It All Just Built Up 142 00:06:11,298 --> 00:06:13,464 Until He Lost His Mind. 143 00:06:13,464 --> 00:06:16,098 Do You Think We Should Call Somebody 144 00:06:16,098 --> 00:06:17,998 Who Can Talk To Him? 145 00:06:17,998 --> 00:06:19,831 No, I Wouldn't Do That. 146 00:06:19,831 --> 00:06:22,064 Coach Is Still Doing A Great Job. 147 00:06:22,064 --> 00:06:23,531 We're Loyal To Him. 148 00:06:23,531 --> 00:06:27,231 We'll Wait Until He Gets Over His Emotional Problems. 149 00:06:27,231 --> 00:06:28,398 I See. 150 00:06:28,398 --> 00:06:29,364 Well, I'm Beat. 151 00:06:29,364 --> 00:06:30,364 Good Night. 152 00:06:30,364 --> 00:06:31,364 Mm-Hmm. 153 00:06:33,731 --> 00:06:35,798 Cliff, There's Something Going On Here 154 00:06:35,798 --> 00:06:39,164 And Theo Is Not Telling Us The Whole Story. 155 00:06:39,164 --> 00:06:40,798 If You Don't Mind 156 00:06:40,798 --> 00:06:45,431 As Far As I'm Concerned, The Boy Was 15 Minutes Late. 157 00:06:45,431 --> 00:06:46,531 I Don't Know... 158 00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:47,864 To A Father 159 00:06:47,864 --> 00:06:49,998 He Was Just 15 Minutes Late. 160 00:06:49,998 --> 00:06:54,131 But To A Mother, It's "Why Was He Late?" 161 00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:04,598 Hey, Rudy. 162 00:07:04,598 --> 00:07:06,431 You Got A Phone Call. 163 00:07:06,431 --> 00:07:07,364 From Who? 164 00:07:07,364 --> 00:07:08,864 Mr. Lukins. 165 00:07:08,864 --> 00:07:10,198 Mr. Lukins? 166 00:07:10,198 --> 00:07:11,364 Right. Your Principal. 167 00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:13,131 Do Mom And Dad Know? 168 00:07:13,131 --> 00:07:13,898 No. 169 00:07:13,898 --> 00:07:15,631 Good. 170 00:07:15,631 --> 00:07:17,864 You Must Be In Big Trouble. 171 00:07:17,864 --> 00:07:20,298 Rudy, Cut That Out, Okay? 172 00:07:20,298 --> 00:07:22,498 And Please Don't Tell Anybody About This. 173 00:07:22,498 --> 00:07:24,664 Hello, Everybody. 174 00:07:24,664 --> 00:07:25,864 Hi, Mom. 175 00:07:25,864 --> 00:07:27,531 Were There Any Phone Calls? 176 00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:29,298 One For You. 177 00:07:30,198 --> 00:07:32,598 And One I Shouldn't Mention. 178 00:07:32,598 --> 00:07:35,331 You Keep That One, But Who Called Me? 179 00:07:35,331 --> 00:07:36,631 Aunt Sarah. 180 00:07:36,631 --> 00:07:38,731 She'll Call You Back Later. 181 00:07:38,731 --> 00:07:40,664 Okay, Thank You. 182 00:07:40,664 --> 00:07:42,098 How Did I Do? 183 00:07:42,098 --> 00:07:43,898 Good. Thanks. 184 00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:46,931 I Hope Mom Doesn't Look At The Refrigerator. 185 00:07:46,931 --> 00:07:48,098 Why? 186 00:07:48,098 --> 00:07:51,531 That's Where I Left The Message For You 187 00:07:51,531 --> 00:07:53,598 That Mr. Lukins Called. 188 00:07:54,464 --> 00:07:56,231 Hi, Mom. 189 00:07:57,098 --> 00:07:59,164 I Want Something To Drink. 190 00:07:59,164 --> 00:07:59,864 I'll Get It. 191 00:07:59,864 --> 00:08:00,864 No, I'll Get It. 192 00:08:00,864 --> 00:08:02,331 Drink Your Water. 193 00:08:03,731 --> 00:08:04,898 Hi, Son. 194 00:08:04,898 --> 00:08:05,864 Hey, Dad. 195 00:08:05,864 --> 00:08:07,531 How Was Track Practice? 196 00:08:07,531 --> 00:08:09,164 Oh, Good. Excellent. 197 00:08:09,164 --> 00:08:10,064 Coach Behave Himself? 198 00:08:10,064 --> 00:08:11,698 Yeah, He Was Fine. 199 00:08:11,698 --> 00:08:15,531 Theo, Did You Get The Message That Mr. Lukins Called You? 200 00:08:15,531 --> 00:08:17,498 Who? 201 00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:20,298 That Message That You Stuck In Your Pocket. 202 00:08:20,298 --> 00:08:21,464 Oh, Yeah. 203 00:08:21,464 --> 00:08:23,198 Thanks. 204 00:08:23,198 --> 00:08:24,464 Mr. Lukins, The Principal? 205 00:08:24,464 --> 00:08:26,264 What's That Call About? 206 00:08:26,264 --> 00:08:27,731 I Don't Know, Dad. 207 00:08:27,731 --> 00:08:30,964 Maybe You Made The Honor Roll. 208 00:08:30,964 --> 00:08:32,898 ( Nervous Laugh ) 209 00:08:35,364 --> 00:08:39,098 Maybe He Wants You To Speak At The Graduation. 210 00:08:39,098 --> 00:08:41,464 ( Very Nervous Laugh ) 211 00:08:41,464 --> 00:08:45,164 Could This Call Be Related To Your Lateness Yesterday? 212 00:08:45,164 --> 00:08:49,298 I Bet Coach Got In Trouble For What He Did At Circus Burger 213 00:08:49,298 --> 00:08:52,864 And Mr. Lukins Called Me To Check The Story. 214 00:08:52,864 --> 00:08:57,231 If Anything Happened Yesterday, Now Is A Good Time To Tell Us. 215 00:08:57,231 --> 00:08:58,764 There's Nothing To Tell. 216 00:08:58,764 --> 00:09:01,264 So We Know Everything That We Should Know... 217 00:09:01,264 --> 00:09:02,498 ...About Yesterday. 218 00:09:02,498 --> 00:09:04,931 Yes, You Know Everything About Yesterday. 219 00:09:04,931 --> 00:09:06,831 You're Sure? 220 00:09:06,831 --> 00:09:08,864 Why Are You So Suspicious? 221 00:09:08,864 --> 00:09:11,164 I Was A Couple Of Minutes Late. 222 00:09:11,164 --> 00:09:12,598 I Don't Get It. 223 00:09:12,598 --> 00:09:14,064 I'm 17, You Know. 224 00:09:14,064 --> 00:09:16,131 I'm An Adult. 225 00:09:16,131 --> 00:09:19,064 You're Treating Me Like I'm Some Kid. 226 00:09:19,064 --> 00:09:21,698 Theo Is Not Telling Us The Truth 227 00:09:21,698 --> 00:09:24,798 And I Am Going To Find Him Out. 228 00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:26,464 He Wants To Be Treated 229 00:09:26,464 --> 00:09:27,931 Like An Adult? 230 00:09:27,931 --> 00:09:30,531 Okay, I'll Treat Him Like An Adult. 231 00:09:30,531 --> 00:09:32,031 What Are You Going To Do? 232 00:09:32,031 --> 00:09:33,898 You Will See. 233 00:09:33,898 --> 00:09:34,598 I'm An Adult. 234 00:09:34,598 --> 00:09:35,798 You Can Tell Me. 235 00:09:35,798 --> 00:09:38,398 You'll See When You're Supposed To See. 236 00:09:40,731 --> 00:09:42,898 I'm 50 Years Old. 237 00:09:50,064 --> 00:09:51,731 Hey, Dad. 238 00:09:51,731 --> 00:09:53,764 You're Getting A Special Dinner. 239 00:09:53,764 --> 00:09:56,898 Really? 240 00:09:56,898 --> 00:10:02,464 Pancakes, French Fries, Bacon-Burgers. 241 00:10:02,464 --> 00:10:04,131 Whoa! For Dinner? 242 00:10:04,898 --> 00:10:06,531 Why You Doing All This? 243 00:10:06,531 --> 00:10:10,398 I Think Your Life Is Going To Change Very Soon. 244 00:10:10,398 --> 00:10:11,964 I Want You To Remember 245 00:10:11,964 --> 00:10:14,664 The Good Things About Living Here. 246 00:10:14,664 --> 00:10:16,031 Oh, Okay. 247 00:10:16,031 --> 00:10:17,131 Theo. 248 00:10:17,131 --> 00:10:19,498 Just The Person I'm Looking For. 249 00:10:20,598 --> 00:10:23,198 I Don't Understand About Yesterday... 250 00:10:23,198 --> 00:10:25,198 Your Lateness, Circus Burgers, Everything. 251 00:10:25,198 --> 00:10:29,664 So I Thought One Way To Get To The Bottom Of All This 252 00:10:29,664 --> 00:10:32,464 Would Be To Call Mr. Lukins Myself. 253 00:10:32,464 --> 00:10:34,764 Did You? 254 00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:36,898 No, Because That's Not How 255 00:10:36,898 --> 00:10:39,198 We Do Things In This Family. 256 00:10:39,198 --> 00:10:42,264 I'm Glad, Mom. 257 00:10:42,264 --> 00:10:44,464 Some People Check On Their Kids 258 00:10:44,464 --> 00:10:46,531 And That Tears The Family Apart. 259 00:10:46,531 --> 00:10:47,664 Yeah. 260 00:10:47,664 --> 00:10:50,164 But I Am Having A Hard Time 261 00:10:50,164 --> 00:10:51,331 Understanding What Happened. 262 00:10:51,331 --> 00:10:53,764 So You Leave Me No Choice. 263 00:10:53,764 --> 00:10:54,931 Here. 264 00:10:54,931 --> 00:10:56,331 What's This? 265 00:10:56,331 --> 00:10:57,664 "Summons"? 266 00:10:57,664 --> 00:11:00,398 Brilliant. 267 00:11:00,398 --> 00:11:03,031 "You, The Defendant, Theodore Aloysius Huxtable 268 00:11:03,031 --> 00:11:05,664 "Are Directed To Appear In The Family Court Of Brooklyn 269 00:11:05,664 --> 00:11:07,831 "Located In The Huxtable Living Room 270 00:11:07,831 --> 00:11:10,264 "Where You Will Be Tried 271 00:11:10,264 --> 00:11:13,331 Before A Jury Of Your Peers." 272 00:11:13,331 --> 00:11:14,964 This Is A Joke? 273 00:11:14,964 --> 00:11:16,031 No. 274 00:11:16,031 --> 00:11:17,498 What's The Charge? 275 00:11:17,498 --> 00:11:18,698 Read On. 276 00:11:18,698 --> 00:11:21,331 "You Are Charged With Telling Half-Truths 277 00:11:21,331 --> 00:11:23,598 And Other Crimes Against Your Parents." 278 00:11:23,598 --> 00:11:25,664 Magnificent. 279 00:11:26,831 --> 00:11:28,598 You're Putting Theo On Trial? 280 00:11:28,598 --> 00:11:29,731 Yes. 281 00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:30,831 This Is Unbelievable. 282 00:11:30,831 --> 00:11:32,998 You Guys Do The Craziest Things. 283 00:11:32,998 --> 00:11:34,331 I Love This House. 284 00:11:34,331 --> 00:11:38,131 Walter, I'm So Happy You Feel That Way. 285 00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:40,298 This Is For You. 286 00:11:40,298 --> 00:11:41,964 Welcome To The Family, Walter. 287 00:11:53,998 --> 00:11:55,498 Whoa. 288 00:11:55,498 --> 00:11:57,531 Mom Is Definitely Serious. 289 00:11:57,531 --> 00:11:59,764 Can We Handle This? 290 00:11:59,764 --> 00:12:03,098 After All Those Courtroom Shows We've Seen On Tv? 291 00:12:04,698 --> 00:12:07,731 Good Afternoon, Mister Huxtable, Mister Bradley. 292 00:12:07,731 --> 00:12:09,298 She Called Us "Mister." 293 00:12:09,298 --> 00:12:10,531 We're Dead. 294 00:12:10,531 --> 00:12:12,631 She's Trying To Rattle You. 295 00:12:12,631 --> 00:12:16,298 With Me As Your Attorney, Don't Worry. 296 00:12:22,964 --> 00:12:24,831 Hear Ye, Hear Ye! 297 00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:26,831 The Court Is Now In Session. 298 00:12:26,831 --> 00:12:31,298 We'll Be Hearing The Case Of The Family Versus Theodore Huxtable. 299 00:12:31,298 --> 00:12:34,164 All Rise And Stand For The Judge. 300 00:12:36,431 --> 00:12:38,264 No, I Object. 301 00:12:38,264 --> 00:12:39,331 Ha Ha Ha! 302 00:12:39,331 --> 00:12:42,898 Don't Get On The Judge's Bad Side. 303 00:12:42,898 --> 00:12:45,131 I Apologize, Your Honor. 304 00:12:45,131 --> 00:12:47,698 I'm Very Pleased You're Our Judge. 305 00:12:47,698 --> 00:12:49,464 Don't Let It Happen Again. 306 00:12:49,464 --> 00:12:50,431 Yes, Your Honor. 307 00:12:50,431 --> 00:12:52,631 Bailiff, Bring In The Jury. 308 00:12:52,631 --> 00:12:54,064 Jury. 309 00:12:59,964 --> 00:13:02,231 That's The Jury? 310 00:13:02,231 --> 00:13:02,931 You Better Object Now. 311 00:13:02,931 --> 00:13:03,998 This Is Perfect. 312 00:13:03,998 --> 00:13:06,631 I Know What To Say To Kids. 313 00:13:06,631 --> 00:13:08,731 The Court Will Come To Order. 314 00:13:08,731 --> 00:13:11,898 Jury, First You Will Hear From Mrs. Clair Huxtable 315 00:13:11,898 --> 00:13:13,564 Attorney For The Prosecution. 316 00:13:13,564 --> 00:13:14,798 Mom. 317 00:13:14,798 --> 00:13:16,964 Lady And Gentlemen Of The Jury 318 00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:20,231 I Hope To Prove Beyond A Shadow Of A Doubt 319 00:13:20,231 --> 00:13:23,398 That This Young Man, Theodore Aloysius Huxtable 320 00:13:23,398 --> 00:13:25,898 Has Been Knowingly And Shamelessly 321 00:13:25,898 --> 00:13:28,998 Telling His Parents Half-Truths And Other Deceptions. 322 00:13:28,998 --> 00:13:30,364 Is That Clear? 323 00:13:30,364 --> 00:13:32,931 When Do We Say Theo Is Guilty? 324 00:13:32,931 --> 00:13:34,398 Objection. 325 00:13:34,398 --> 00:13:37,864 Would The Prosecuting Attorney Call Her First Witness? 326 00:13:37,864 --> 00:13:41,198 I Call To The Stand Heathcliff Huxtable. 327 00:13:43,331 --> 00:13:44,564 Me? 328 00:13:45,264 --> 00:13:47,031 I'm The Bailiff. 329 00:13:47,031 --> 00:13:48,664 Call Somebody Else. 330 00:13:48,664 --> 00:13:50,998 You're Also My Surprise Witness. 331 00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:53,364 I Won't Be The Surprise Witness. 332 00:13:53,364 --> 00:13:55,264 Make Him Take The Stand. 333 00:13:55,264 --> 00:13:57,398 Bailiff, You Have An Attitude Problem. 334 00:13:59,764 --> 00:14:02,398 This Is The Second Time I've Warned You. 335 00:14:02,398 --> 00:14:03,431 Take The Stand. 336 00:14:06,198 --> 00:14:07,264 Please, Daddy? 337 00:14:11,231 --> 00:14:13,564 Do You Plan To Tell The Truth? 338 00:14:13,564 --> 00:14:15,664 Sit Down. 339 00:14:15,664 --> 00:14:18,864 Dr. Huxtable, What Is Your Relationship To The Accused? 340 00:14:18,864 --> 00:14:20,964 He's My Son. 341 00:14:22,264 --> 00:14:24,598 For Nearly 18 Years. 342 00:14:24,598 --> 00:14:26,764 Has He Mostly Been A Good Son? 343 00:14:26,764 --> 00:14:31,031 Oh, Yeah... He's All Right. 344 00:14:31,031 --> 00:14:32,498 Yes Or No Will Do. 345 00:14:32,498 --> 00:14:33,998 Yes. 346 00:14:35,098 --> 00:14:37,331 On The 21st Day Of This Month 347 00:14:37,331 --> 00:14:41,498 Did You Tell Your Son To Come Home On Time? 348 00:14:42,964 --> 00:14:47,031 Would You Say That Something Out Of The Ordinary Occurred? 349 00:14:47,031 --> 00:14:49,064 Yes. 350 00:14:49,064 --> 00:14:49,698 No Further Questions. 351 00:14:49,698 --> 00:14:50,931 Dr. Huxtable 352 00:14:50,931 --> 00:14:53,931 You May Not Leave Until I Say, "Step Down." 353 00:14:53,931 --> 00:14:56,064 Well, Say "Step Down." 354 00:14:56,064 --> 00:14:57,498 I Can't. 355 00:14:57,498 --> 00:14:59,664 You Have To Be Cross-Examined. 356 00:14:59,664 --> 00:15:01,064 Your Witness, Cockroach. 357 00:15:01,064 --> 00:15:02,064 Cockroach? 358 00:15:02,064 --> 00:15:03,631 Dr. Huxtable 359 00:15:03,631 --> 00:15:04,731 Do You Know Why Your Son 360 00:15:04,731 --> 00:15:07,064 Went Out For The Cross-Country Team? 361 00:15:07,064 --> 00:15:08,498 Uh, The... 362 00:15:08,498 --> 00:15:09,964 You're Under Oath. 363 00:15:09,964 --> 00:15:13,664 Why Did Your Son Go Out For The Cross-Country Team? 364 00:15:13,664 --> 00:15:15,331 I Know I'm Under Oath. 365 00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:17,598 Isn't It True You Were So Desperate 366 00:15:17,598 --> 00:15:20,331 To Have Your Son On The Team 367 00:15:20,331 --> 00:15:22,864 That You Promised To Buy Him A Car? 368 00:15:22,864 --> 00:15:24,364 Cliff! 369 00:15:24,364 --> 00:15:25,364 Answer The Question. 370 00:15:25,364 --> 00:15:27,731 Boy, I'll Tell You Something! 371 00:15:27,731 --> 00:15:30,264 ( Pounding Desk With Pencil Holder ) 372 00:15:30,264 --> 00:15:31,464 Answer The Question. 373 00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:32,964 Come On, Dad. 374 00:15:32,964 --> 00:15:35,531 Yes, I Promised My Son A Car 375 00:15:35,531 --> 00:15:38,098 If He Went Out For The Team. 376 00:15:38,098 --> 00:15:40,231 Lady And Gentlemen Of The Jury 377 00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:42,564 If Theo Had Never Joined The Team 378 00:15:42,564 --> 00:15:45,231 He Wouldn't Have Been Late On That Night. 379 00:15:45,231 --> 00:15:46,398 He Joined The Team 380 00:15:46,398 --> 00:15:48,831 Because His Father Promised Him A Car. 381 00:15:48,831 --> 00:15:52,064 Therefore, I Conclude If Any Crime Was Committed 382 00:15:52,064 --> 00:15:54,798 It Was Committed By... This Man. 383 00:15:54,798 --> 00:15:57,398 He's The Guilty One! 384 00:15:57,398 --> 00:15:59,064 I Rest My Case. 385 00:15:59,064 --> 00:16:00,298 You'll Rest 386 00:16:00,298 --> 00:16:02,598 Something Else Later, Sporty. 387 00:16:02,598 --> 00:16:04,031 Order. 388 00:16:04,031 --> 00:16:07,931 I Call To The Stand Mr. Theodore Huxtable. 389 00:16:07,931 --> 00:16:09,464 Theodore Huxtable To The Stand. 390 00:16:10,464 --> 00:16:12,298 You Promise To Say It? 391 00:16:12,298 --> 00:16:13,298 I Do. 392 00:16:13,298 --> 00:16:15,164 There You Go. 393 00:16:15,164 --> 00:16:16,464 Did You Tell Me 394 00:16:16,464 --> 00:16:18,864 Your Coach Was Having Domestic Problems? 395 00:16:18,864 --> 00:16:19,631 Yes. 396 00:16:19,631 --> 00:16:20,831 How Did You Know? 397 00:16:20,831 --> 00:16:22,731 From A Reliable Source. 398 00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:23,498 Who? 399 00:16:23,498 --> 00:16:25,698 Cockroach. 400 00:16:25,698 --> 00:16:27,564 You Heard From Cockroach 401 00:16:27,564 --> 00:16:29,998 That Your Coach Had Domestic Problems? 402 00:16:29,998 --> 00:16:32,564 He Read That When You Have Domestic Problems 403 00:16:32,564 --> 00:16:34,631 You Take It Out On Others. 404 00:16:34,631 --> 00:16:36,831 Coach Always Takes Things Out On Us. 405 00:16:36,831 --> 00:16:40,198 You Don't Know If The Coach Has Domestic Problems? 406 00:16:40,198 --> 00:16:41,864 Well, No. 407 00:16:41,864 --> 00:16:44,398 What You Told Me Wasn't A Lie 408 00:16:44,398 --> 00:16:46,431 But Not The Truth? 409 00:16:47,364 --> 00:16:49,064 Let's Go To Another Subject-- 410 00:16:49,064 --> 00:16:50,564 Circus Burgers. 411 00:16:50,564 --> 00:16:53,331 Do You Love Circus Burgers? 412 00:16:53,331 --> 00:16:55,964 Not As Much As I Love My Parents... 413 00:16:57,731 --> 00:16:59,731 My Sisters... 414 00:16:59,731 --> 00:17:01,864 And Their Friends. 415 00:17:03,364 --> 00:17:05,031 But You Do Love Them? 416 00:17:05,031 --> 00:17:07,231 Yes... If You Can Love A Hamburger. 417 00:17:07,231 --> 00:17:08,631 You Were Excited 418 00:17:08,631 --> 00:17:10,631 When The Cross-Country Team 419 00:17:10,631 --> 00:17:12,564 Went To Circus Burger Yesterday. 420 00:17:12,564 --> 00:17:13,631 Yes. 421 00:17:13,631 --> 00:17:15,964 You Rushed In? 422 00:17:16,664 --> 00:17:17,864 Were You First? 423 00:17:17,864 --> 00:17:20,131 We're Not The Fastest Guys 424 00:17:20,131 --> 00:17:22,964 So We Were In The Middle. 425 00:17:22,964 --> 00:17:25,798 But You Said Yesterday That You And Walter 426 00:17:25,798 --> 00:17:29,298 Were The Only Team Members Who Didn't Get To Eat. 427 00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:30,898 Yeah. 428 00:17:30,898 --> 00:17:33,898 How Did Team Members Behind You Get Their Burgers 429 00:17:33,898 --> 00:17:35,898 And You Didn't Get Yours? 430 00:17:35,898 --> 00:17:38,864 They're Animals, They'll Do Anything For Circus Burgers 431 00:17:38,864 --> 00:17:39,898 And You Wouldn't? 432 00:17:39,898 --> 00:17:41,631 Not By Being Impolite. 433 00:17:41,631 --> 00:17:45,064 Last Week I Saw You Push Your Father Aside 434 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,731 And Step On Your Little Sister 435 00:17:47,731 --> 00:17:51,531 To Get In Front Of The Circus Burger Line. 436 00:17:51,531 --> 00:17:53,931 Well, Yeah, But I Was Hungry. 437 00:17:53,931 --> 00:17:55,398 You Weren't Hungry Yesterday? 438 00:17:55,398 --> 00:17:56,964 Well, I Was... 439 00:17:56,964 --> 00:18:01,798 Something Prevented You From Getting Your Circus Burger. 440 00:18:01,798 --> 00:18:03,631 Something Out Of The Ordinary. 441 00:18:03,631 --> 00:18:04,964 What Was That Something? 442 00:18:05,798 --> 00:18:06,964 No Money? 443 00:18:07,798 --> 00:18:09,531 You Became A Vegetarian? 444 00:18:09,531 --> 00:18:11,598 You Forgot How To Order? 445 00:18:12,398 --> 00:18:13,864 Your Feet Fell Asleep? 446 00:18:13,864 --> 00:18:16,231 Were You In The "Milk Shake Only" Line? 447 00:18:16,231 --> 00:18:20,264 Or Were You Tackled By The Circus Burger Clown? 448 00:18:20,264 --> 00:18:21,464 Hey, Mom, Stop. 449 00:18:21,464 --> 00:18:24,098 I'm Not Some Criminal. I'm Your Kid. 450 00:18:24,098 --> 00:18:25,098 No, You're Not. 451 00:18:25,098 --> 00:18:27,198 I'm Treating You Like An Adult. 452 00:18:27,198 --> 00:18:28,398 You Treat Adults This Way? 453 00:18:28,398 --> 00:18:30,031 In Court, Yes. 454 00:18:30,031 --> 00:18:32,564 Now Will You Tell The Truth 455 00:18:32,564 --> 00:18:34,131 Or Do I Play Rough? 456 00:18:34,131 --> 00:18:35,231 Okay, I'll Talk. 457 00:18:35,231 --> 00:18:37,064 We Didn't Mean Any Harm. 458 00:18:37,064 --> 00:18:41,631 If We Knew This Would Happen, We Wouldn't Have Done It. 459 00:18:41,631 --> 00:18:43,164 What Did You Do? 460 00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:46,398 There Was This Overweight Girl Behind The Counter. 461 00:18:46,398 --> 00:18:49,064 Cockroach And I Made Jokes About Her. 462 00:18:49,064 --> 00:18:51,064 We Didn't Think She Heard Us. 463 00:18:51,064 --> 00:18:53,331 Some Other Guys Started Laughing 464 00:18:53,331 --> 00:18:56,064 So We Told More Jokes. 465 00:18:56,064 --> 00:19:01,464 By The Time We Got To The Front Of The Line, She Was Crying. 466 00:19:01,464 --> 00:19:03,264 I Guess She Overheard Us. 467 00:19:03,264 --> 00:19:06,131 That's Why Your Coach Yelled At You. 468 00:19:06,131 --> 00:19:07,131 Yeah. 469 00:19:07,131 --> 00:19:09,298 He Took Everybody Else Home 470 00:19:09,298 --> 00:19:12,398 And Gave Us A Long Lecture. 471 00:19:12,398 --> 00:19:13,731 And You Were Late. 472 00:19:13,731 --> 00:19:14,531 Yeah. 473 00:19:14,531 --> 00:19:17,031 What Happened Today? 474 00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:19,464 We Didn't Go To Practice. 475 00:19:19,464 --> 00:19:23,098 After The Lecture, The Coach Took Our Uniforms. 476 00:19:23,098 --> 00:19:25,398 So You're Off The Team. 477 00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:27,664 I'm Sorry I Kept It From You. 478 00:19:27,664 --> 00:19:31,998 How Many Times Do We Have To Tell You To Tell The Truth? 479 00:19:31,998 --> 00:19:35,231 When You Don't Tell The Truth, Your Life Falls Apart. 480 00:19:35,231 --> 00:19:37,564 The Past Few Days You've Been Scrambling 481 00:19:37,564 --> 00:19:39,064 And Covering Your Tracks 482 00:19:39,064 --> 00:19:41,198 Giving All This Deception. 483 00:19:41,198 --> 00:19:43,331 None Of This Would Have Happened 484 00:19:43,331 --> 00:19:46,231 If You'd Told Us Everything From The Beginning. 485 00:19:46,231 --> 00:19:48,264 That's What I'm Trying To Say. 486 00:19:48,264 --> 00:19:49,731 Do You Understand? 487 00:19:49,731 --> 00:19:50,764 Yeah. 488 00:19:50,764 --> 00:19:52,864 Does Everybody Here Understand? 489 00:19:52,864 --> 00:19:55,031 Huh? 490 00:19:55,031 --> 00:19:57,531 Were You Listening To Me? 491 00:19:57,531 --> 00:19:58,231 Yeah. 492 00:19:58,231 --> 00:19:59,631 What Did I Say? 493 00:19:59,631 --> 00:20:01,264 I Don't Know. 494 00:20:01,264 --> 00:20:03,998 Vanessa, Tell Rudy What I Said. 495 00:20:03,998 --> 00:20:07,598 Mom, I Was Concentrating On Being A Judge. 496 00:20:07,598 --> 00:20:11,798 Did Anybody Learn Anything From All Of This? 497 00:20:11,798 --> 00:20:13,398 I'll Tell The Truth. 498 00:20:13,398 --> 00:20:17,531 I Don't Have The Money To Hire A Good Lawyer. 499 00:20:18,964 --> 00:20:21,731 That's Good Enough For Me. 500 00:20:21,731 --> 00:20:23,064 I Withdraw My Charges. 501 00:20:23,064 --> 00:20:24,398 This Trial Is Over. 502 00:20:24,398 --> 00:20:25,664 Oh, Good. 503 00:20:25,664 --> 00:20:28,564 We Didn't Say Theo's Guilty. 504 00:20:28,564 --> 00:20:30,598 Let's Get Some Ice Cream. 505 00:20:30,598 --> 00:20:31,864 Yay! Yay! 506 00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:32,964 At The Mall? 507 00:20:32,964 --> 00:20:34,664 At The Mall. 508 00:20:34,664 --> 00:20:36,031 First Thing Tomorrow 509 00:20:36,031 --> 00:20:39,664 I'll Go To Circus Burger And Apologize To That Girl. 510 00:20:39,664 --> 00:20:41,331 Can I Believe That? 511 00:20:41,331 --> 00:20:42,998 Hey, I'm Reformed. 512 00:20:42,998 --> 00:20:46,631 Dr. Huxtable, I Hope There Are No Hard Feelings. 513 00:20:46,631 --> 00:20:48,064 No, No, No. 514 00:20:48,064 --> 00:20:51,731 This Was A Rewarding Experience For Me Today. 515 00:20:51,731 --> 00:20:54,098 I'm Glad To Hear That. 516 00:20:54,098 --> 00:20:57,864 I Feel Like I Grow As A Person When I'm Here. 517 00:20:57,864 --> 00:21:01,531 I Hope That Whatever Was Brought Up Here Today, Remains Here. 518 00:21:01,531 --> 00:21:06,231 You Don't Want Me To Say Anything To Your Parents? 519 00:21:06,231 --> 00:21:07,264 Yeah, Correct. 520 00:21:07,264 --> 00:21:08,598 Did You Understand Anything 521 00:21:08,598 --> 00:21:11,131 Mrs. Huxtable Was Trying To Say? 522 00:21:11,131 --> 00:21:12,098 About What? 523 00:21:12,098 --> 00:21:14,731 That's What I Thought. 524 00:21:14,731 --> 00:21:17,564 Let's Go Get Some Ice Cream.