1 00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:57,264 Clair? 2 00:00:57,264 --> 00:00:58,431 Yes? 3 00:00:58,431 --> 00:01:02,131 Have You Seen My Other Blue Argyle Sock? 4 00:01:02,131 --> 00:01:03,831 For The Past Three Months 5 00:01:03,831 --> 00:01:05,831 You've Been Asking For That Sock. 6 00:01:05,831 --> 00:01:06,897 It's Gone. 7 00:01:06,897 --> 00:01:08,064 It'll Turn Up. 8 00:01:08,064 --> 00:01:10,831 I Think It Got Lost In The Laundry. 9 00:01:10,831 --> 00:01:13,831 Give This One To Me For A Dust Rag. 10 00:01:13,831 --> 00:01:16,631 You're Not Using It As A Dust Rag. 11 00:01:16,631 --> 00:01:18,631 Socks Do This On Purpose. 12 00:01:18,631 --> 00:01:20,497 When They're Together, They Say 13 00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:24,497 "You Go And I'll Go, Then He'll Find One Of Us 14 00:01:24,497 --> 00:01:28,697 "And He'll Walk Around: 'Clair, Have You Seen My Sock?' 15 00:01:28,697 --> 00:01:31,831 "He'll Throw You Away, And Then I'll Show Up. 16 00:01:31,831 --> 00:01:33,231 It Drives Him Crazy." 17 00:01:33,231 --> 00:01:36,197 I'll Buy You A New Pair For Your Birthday. 18 00:01:36,197 --> 00:01:38,731 No, That's Not Necessary, Dear. 19 00:01:38,731 --> 00:01:40,864 How Do You Want To Celebrate? 20 00:01:40,864 --> 00:01:44,197 Oh, It Doesn't Make Any Difference. 21 00:01:44,197 --> 00:01:45,531 Nothing Special. 22 00:01:45,531 --> 00:01:46,931 No, Come On, Now! 23 00:01:46,931 --> 00:01:49,564 This Is A Very Special Birthday. 24 00:01:49,564 --> 00:01:50,864 Are You Kidding? 25 00:01:50,864 --> 00:01:54,097 Just Because There's A Number With A Zero On It? 26 00:01:54,097 --> 00:01:58,197 Are You Afraid Of Turning 50? 27 00:01:58,197 --> 00:01:59,597 I Am Not Afraid. 28 00:01:59,597 --> 00:02:02,997 I'll Just Jump To 60 If You Want Me To. 29 00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:04,631 Wait, I Know! 30 00:02:04,631 --> 00:02:08,231 We'll Give You Something You've Never Had. 31 00:02:08,231 --> 00:02:09,431 Measles. 32 00:02:09,431 --> 00:02:10,864 No. 33 00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:12,364 What? A Party. 34 00:02:12,364 --> 00:02:15,297 For Just You And Your Friends. 35 00:02:15,297 --> 00:02:16,397 And The Children? 36 00:02:16,397 --> 00:02:18,831 Celebrate With Them In The Afternoon 37 00:02:18,831 --> 00:02:21,097 And Have The Adult Party At Night. 38 00:02:21,097 --> 00:02:21,997 You're Kidding. 39 00:02:21,997 --> 00:02:23,664 Invite Whomever You Please. 40 00:02:23,664 --> 00:02:25,131 I Can? Yes. 41 00:02:25,131 --> 00:02:26,131 Oh, I'm Ready. 42 00:02:26,131 --> 00:02:27,164 Just A Second. 43 00:02:27,164 --> 00:02:29,331 I'll Get A Pad And A Pencil 44 00:02:29,331 --> 00:02:31,997 And We'll Start This Right Now. 45 00:02:31,997 --> 00:02:34,364 Put Down Harry Jefferson. 46 00:02:34,364 --> 00:02:35,997 Harry Jefferson. 47 00:02:35,997 --> 00:02:37,064 Put Him Down. 48 00:02:37,064 --> 00:02:38,764 We Played Football In School. 49 00:02:38,764 --> 00:02:41,831 Yes, I Remember Harry Jefferson. 50 00:02:41,831 --> 00:02:46,164 He's The Clown That Smashes Empty Cans On His Head. 51 00:02:46,164 --> 00:02:48,997 Dear, That Was 30 Years Ago. 52 00:02:48,997 --> 00:02:50,331 You Don't Know That. 53 00:02:50,331 --> 00:02:53,131 Lord Knows What His Head Looks Like. 54 00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:54,164 All Right. 55 00:02:54,164 --> 00:02:55,564 Clarence Petway. 56 00:02:55,564 --> 00:02:58,864 We Were In Medical School Together. 57 00:02:58,864 --> 00:03:01,164 He Used To Come To Dinner 58 00:03:01,164 --> 00:03:04,897 And Talk About Accident Victims He Was Treating. 59 00:03:04,897 --> 00:03:06,564 He Loves His Work. 60 00:03:06,564 --> 00:03:09,231 I'm Supposed To Spend Three Days Cooking 61 00:03:09,231 --> 00:03:11,497 So He Can Wreck Everybody's Appetite? 62 00:03:11,497 --> 00:03:14,564 So You Don't Want Clarence? 63 00:03:14,564 --> 00:03:16,564 Next. 64 00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:19,164 Okay, Here's Somebody 65 00:03:19,164 --> 00:03:22,164 That You And I Haven't Seen In Awhile. 66 00:03:22,164 --> 00:03:22,997 Okay. 67 00:03:22,997 --> 00:03:25,031 Mark Ettin. 68 00:03:25,031 --> 00:03:27,497 Dear, Mark Ettin-- 69 00:03:27,497 --> 00:03:28,697 Come On Now. 70 00:03:28,697 --> 00:03:30,731 He's Your Friend And He's My Friend. 71 00:03:30,731 --> 00:03:32,164 He's Your Friend. 72 00:03:32,164 --> 00:03:34,497 Margie Ettin Is My Friend. 73 00:03:34,497 --> 00:03:37,664 Of Course, They Aren't Together Anymore. 74 00:03:37,664 --> 00:03:40,497 They Got Divorced, That's True. 75 00:03:40,497 --> 00:03:42,497 But Margie Has Remarried 76 00:03:42,497 --> 00:03:45,231 And Her Last Name Isn't Ettin Anymore. 77 00:03:45,231 --> 00:03:48,531 It Shouldn't Have Been Ettin To Begin With. 78 00:03:48,531 --> 00:03:49,731 You Said To Me-- 79 00:03:49,731 --> 00:03:50,897 I Think-- 80 00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:53,897 "You're Going To Have A Grown-Up Party. 81 00:03:53,897 --> 00:03:56,264 You Can Choose Whomever..." 82 00:03:56,264 --> 00:03:58,497 I Gave You Three Names 83 00:03:58,497 --> 00:04:00,564 And Every Time, You Went... 84 00:04:02,931 --> 00:04:04,964 Do Me A Favor. 85 00:04:04,964 --> 00:04:06,164 Of The Three 86 00:04:06,164 --> 00:04:09,897 I Want You To Choose The One You Like Most 87 00:04:09,897 --> 00:04:12,064 Of The Ones You Dislike. 88 00:04:12,064 --> 00:04:13,531 All Right. 89 00:04:13,531 --> 00:04:14,764 Mark Ettin. 90 00:04:14,764 --> 00:04:16,764 All Right! 91 00:04:16,764 --> 00:04:19,031 I'll Bury My Grudges For One Evening. 92 00:04:19,031 --> 00:04:21,364 And Bless You For Your Kindness. 93 00:04:21,364 --> 00:04:23,464 Here's Another One. 94 00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:28,164 Somebody Who Helped Me When I Was Young And Growing Up 95 00:04:28,164 --> 00:04:31,031 And Helped Me To Mature. 96 00:04:31,031 --> 00:04:31,964 Who? 97 00:04:31,964 --> 00:04:33,764 Eunice Chantilly. 98 00:04:34,764 --> 00:04:35,797 I'm Going... 99 00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:37,831 You're Not Going Anywhere. 100 00:04:37,831 --> 00:04:39,664 You Come Back Here! 101 00:04:46,064 --> 00:04:47,131 Ah. 102 00:04:47,131 --> 00:04:49,731 Did You Enjoy Your Birthday Lunch? 103 00:04:49,731 --> 00:04:51,397 Yes, My Favorite Cake 104 00:04:51,397 --> 00:04:53,364 Made By My Favorite Children. 105 00:04:53,364 --> 00:04:56,097 Did You Like The Scrambled Eggs With Peanut Butter? 106 00:04:56,097 --> 00:04:57,297 No! 107 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,264 I Made It. 108 00:04:58,264 --> 00:05:00,231 I Loved It! 109 00:05:00,231 --> 00:05:01,164 Lovely! 110 00:05:01,164 --> 00:05:02,497 Wonderful! 111 00:05:02,497 --> 00:05:06,364 Okay, So Here We Go With The Main Event. 112 00:05:06,364 --> 00:05:08,197 What Do You Mean? 113 00:05:08,197 --> 00:05:08,964 You Know. 114 00:05:08,964 --> 00:05:10,331 Where's My Present? 115 00:05:10,331 --> 00:05:12,631 Dad, The Lunch Was Your Present. 116 00:05:12,631 --> 00:05:14,631 No! No, I... 117 00:05:14,631 --> 00:05:16,831 You Asked For A Birthday Lunch. 118 00:05:16,831 --> 00:05:18,331 No, My Present-- 119 00:05:18,331 --> 00:05:21,664 Something In A Box With A Ribbon On It. 120 00:05:21,664 --> 00:05:22,964 Let's Hit It! 121 00:05:22,964 --> 00:05:25,431 But You Told Us To Keep It Simple. 122 00:05:25,431 --> 00:05:27,631 Right. 123 00:05:27,631 --> 00:05:28,497 Simple And Expensive. 124 00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:31,564 Okay, Cliff. 125 00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:33,731 The Children Do Have Something For You. 126 00:05:33,731 --> 00:05:36,997 I Take It It's In The Living Room? 127 00:05:36,997 --> 00:05:38,331 Yes, But Don't Look. 128 00:05:38,331 --> 00:05:39,331 Okay. 129 00:05:39,331 --> 00:05:41,331 Close Your Eyes And Follow Me. 130 00:05:41,331 --> 00:05:43,664 Close My Eyes And Follow You? 131 00:05:43,664 --> 00:05:45,731 Where Are You Leading Me? 132 00:05:45,731 --> 00:05:46,864 Are They Closed? 133 00:05:46,864 --> 00:05:49,131 Yes, But Why Is The Easel There? 134 00:05:49,131 --> 00:05:50,831 No Fair, You Peeked! 135 00:05:50,831 --> 00:05:53,931 Well, I'm Sorry, I Had To See The Chair. 136 00:05:53,931 --> 00:05:55,197 Have A Seat. 137 00:05:55,197 --> 00:05:57,231 Sondra: Let Us Begin. 138 00:05:57,231 --> 00:06:00,497 Turning 50 Is A Monumental Event In A Man's Life. 139 00:06:00,497 --> 00:06:04,497 Oh, Lord, Who Let This Child In The House? 140 00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:08,064 Some Men Have Been Known To Be Traumatized 141 00:06:08,064 --> 00:06:10,331 By Reaching The Half-Century Mark. 142 00:06:10,331 --> 00:06:14,431 We'd Like To Make You Feel More Comfortable About Your Age. 143 00:06:14,431 --> 00:06:16,664 This Is Sad. 144 00:06:16,664 --> 00:06:19,331 And So, We Proudly Present... 145 00:06:19,331 --> 00:06:22,131 "Things That Are Older Than Dad!" 146 00:06:24,564 --> 00:06:27,164 This Is Dad. He's 50. 147 00:06:27,164 --> 00:06:29,064 Fifty. Dad. 148 00:06:31,431 --> 00:06:33,497 Some Might Think 50 Is Old 149 00:06:33,497 --> 00:06:35,664 But There Are Even Older Things. 150 00:06:35,664 --> 00:06:38,331 The Light Bulb Is Older Than Dad. 151 00:06:39,897 --> 00:06:43,664 The Wheel Is Older Than Dad. 152 00:06:45,564 --> 00:06:48,197 Fire Is Older Than Dad. 153 00:06:49,464 --> 00:06:51,164 Dirt... 154 00:06:53,164 --> 00:06:55,064 Is Older Than Dad. 155 00:06:57,464 --> 00:06:59,164 All Of These Items Have Proven Themselves 156 00:06:59,164 --> 00:07:00,997 Through The Test Of Time 157 00:07:00,997 --> 00:07:03,131 And We Need Them Very Much. 158 00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:05,664 Just Like Dad! 159 00:07:08,264 --> 00:07:11,631 May I Have My Present, Please? 160 00:07:11,631 --> 00:07:13,164 We Have A Present. 161 00:07:13,164 --> 00:07:14,697 Happy Birthday, Dad. 162 00:07:14,697 --> 00:07:16,064 Thank You Very Much. 163 00:07:16,064 --> 00:07:18,264 We All Chipped In. 164 00:07:18,264 --> 00:07:19,031 It's Something You Could Use. 165 00:07:19,031 --> 00:07:20,331 All Right. 166 00:07:21,331 --> 00:07:24,097 Now, What Is It? 167 00:07:24,097 --> 00:07:26,264 A Key Ring That Beeps When You Clap. 168 00:07:26,264 --> 00:07:27,431 Oh, Really? 169 00:07:27,431 --> 00:07:29,497 Because You're Always Losing Your Keys. 170 00:07:29,497 --> 00:07:32,497 Now When You Lose Them, Just Do This: 171 00:07:32,497 --> 00:07:34,297 ( Beeping ) 172 00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:37,497 That's All Right. 173 00:07:39,831 --> 00:07:41,831 ( Nothing Happens ) 174 00:07:42,831 --> 00:07:44,164 Try Again. 175 00:07:46,097 --> 00:07:47,097 ( Nothing Happens ) 176 00:07:47,097 --> 00:07:49,164 Something Must Be Wrong. 177 00:07:50,964 --> 00:07:52,864 ( Beeping ) 178 00:07:52,864 --> 00:07:54,164 I Want To Try. 179 00:07:55,164 --> 00:07:56,564 Yay! ( Beeping ) 180 00:07:58,431 --> 00:08:01,231 I'll Try From Back Here. 181 00:08:03,231 --> 00:08:04,564 ( Beeping ) 182 00:08:04,564 --> 00:08:05,897 That's It, Cliff. 183 00:08:05,897 --> 00:08:07,764 You're Sitting Too Close. 184 00:08:16,231 --> 00:08:18,231 ( Nothing Happens ) 185 00:08:19,897 --> 00:08:22,731 Maybe It Doesn't Work For Adults. 186 00:08:23,731 --> 00:08:24,897 ( Beeping ) 187 00:08:26,764 --> 00:08:29,597 Okay, This Is A Practical Joke, Right? 188 00:08:29,597 --> 00:08:30,797 No. 189 00:08:30,797 --> 00:08:33,564 You're Pressing A Button Somewhere, Huh? 190 00:08:33,564 --> 00:08:35,697 Maybe Your Hands Aren't Built Right. 191 00:08:36,897 --> 00:08:38,564 My Hands Are Fine. 192 00:08:38,564 --> 00:08:40,864 It's Supposed To Work For Everybody. 193 00:08:40,864 --> 00:08:42,664 It Doesn't Work For Me. 194 00:08:42,664 --> 00:08:44,064 Can I Have It? 195 00:08:44,064 --> 00:08:45,931 No, You Can't Have It! 196 00:08:45,931 --> 00:08:48,397 This Is Something I Will Cherish Forever. 197 00:08:48,397 --> 00:08:50,964 It Was Given To Me By My Children. 198 00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:53,064 Let's Hear It For Dad! 199 00:08:53,064 --> 00:08:54,431 ( Beeping ) 200 00:09:00,764 --> 00:09:02,464 She Did Not. 201 00:09:02,464 --> 00:09:04,597 At Least I Told The Truth. 202 00:09:04,597 --> 00:09:07,631 When We First Met, You Said You Were Famous. 203 00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:08,764 I Was Famous. 204 00:09:08,764 --> 00:09:09,564 Where? 205 00:09:09,564 --> 00:09:11,631 In Saginaw, Michigan. 206 00:09:11,631 --> 00:09:13,531 ( Doorbell ) 207 00:09:13,531 --> 00:09:14,531 Must Be Mark. 208 00:09:14,531 --> 00:09:16,064 I Can't Wait To See Him. 209 00:09:17,597 --> 00:09:18,597 Finally. 210 00:09:18,597 --> 00:09:19,597 Hey! 211 00:09:19,597 --> 00:09:21,564 How You Doing, Mark? 212 00:09:23,231 --> 00:09:24,897 Heathcliff... Yeah? 213 00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:28,731 I'd Say You Look Good For 50, But I'd Be Lying. 214 00:09:28,731 --> 00:09:31,297 I'd Say You Look Good, But You Never Did. 215 00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:34,564 Who Is This? Your Wife? 216 00:09:34,564 --> 00:09:36,397 You Remember My Daughter, Ellen. 217 00:09:36,397 --> 00:09:40,297 Not The Ellen Who Used To Dribble Milk On My Shirt. 218 00:09:40,297 --> 00:09:42,131 Hi, Dr. Huxtable. 219 00:09:42,131 --> 00:09:43,231 Doctor? 220 00:09:43,231 --> 00:09:45,397 You Call Me "Uncle" Doctor Huxtable. 221 00:09:45,397 --> 00:09:46,564 Hi, Everybody. 222 00:09:46,564 --> 00:09:48,531 Hi! 223 00:09:48,531 --> 00:09:50,764 Sorry I'm Late. 224 00:09:50,764 --> 00:09:51,597 Traffic Was Backed Up For Miles. 225 00:09:51,597 --> 00:09:52,631 You Got Lost. 226 00:09:52,631 --> 00:09:53,531 He Did. 227 00:09:53,531 --> 00:09:54,897 Shh. 228 00:09:54,897 --> 00:09:56,797 Hi, Clair. 229 00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:57,831 Hello, Mark. 230 00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:58,764 How Are You? 231 00:09:58,764 --> 00:09:59,764 I'm Fine. 232 00:09:59,764 --> 00:10:01,164 Ellen, How Are You? 233 00:10:01,164 --> 00:10:03,164 What A Surprise. 234 00:10:03,164 --> 00:10:05,664 We Weren't Expecting To See You. 235 00:10:05,664 --> 00:10:09,464 It Was My Mom's Weekend, But She Caught A Cold. 236 00:10:09,464 --> 00:10:12,464 All The Girls Have Gone To See A Movie. 237 00:10:12,464 --> 00:10:13,597 That's Okay. 238 00:10:13,597 --> 00:10:15,831 No, No. My Son Is Here. 239 00:10:15,831 --> 00:10:17,897 You Can Hang Out With Him. 240 00:10:17,897 --> 00:10:19,531 Theo! 241 00:10:19,531 --> 00:10:20,564 Yeah, Dad? 242 00:10:20,564 --> 00:10:22,531 Come Down And Meet Some People. 243 00:10:22,531 --> 00:10:23,531 Be Right Down. 244 00:10:23,531 --> 00:10:25,564 Theo's Home Alone. 245 00:10:25,564 --> 00:10:27,197 He's Got No Place To Go. 246 00:10:27,197 --> 00:10:28,331 Hi. 247 00:10:28,331 --> 00:10:30,831 Son, I Want You To Meet Mark Ettin... 248 00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:31,864 Hi. Hi. 249 00:10:31,864 --> 00:10:33,364 And His Daughter, Ellen. Hi. 250 00:10:33,364 --> 00:10:34,531 Hi. 251 00:10:34,531 --> 00:10:36,231 Nice Meeting You. Son. 252 00:10:36,231 --> 00:10:40,331 Wouldn't You Like To Take Ellen To A Movie Tonight? 253 00:10:44,631 --> 00:10:48,031 Dad, I'd Like To, But I Just Made Plans. 254 00:10:48,031 --> 00:10:50,497 No Problem, I'll Set An Extra Place. 255 00:10:50,497 --> 00:10:51,631 Let's Eat. 256 00:10:51,631 --> 00:10:52,997 Good, I'm Starved. 257 00:10:52,997 --> 00:10:56,464 Son, I Want To Talk To You In The Kitchen. 258 00:10:58,831 --> 00:11:02,397 Well, Clair, It's Been A Long Time, Hasn't It? 259 00:11:02,397 --> 00:11:03,797 Yes, It Has. 260 00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:05,297 How's Everything At The Law Office? 261 00:11:05,297 --> 00:11:07,664 Busy. 262 00:11:07,664 --> 00:11:10,164 How Is Denise Adjusting To College Life? 263 00:11:10,164 --> 00:11:11,164 Fine. 264 00:11:15,997 --> 00:11:18,364 Son, I'd Really Appreciate It 265 00:11:18,364 --> 00:11:21,497 If You Would Look After Ellen Tonight. 266 00:11:21,497 --> 00:11:25,097 I Don't Think She'll Have Fun With The Adults. 267 00:11:25,097 --> 00:11:28,197 But Some Kids Are Meeting At The Roller Rink. 268 00:11:28,197 --> 00:11:30,197 Okay, Then Take Her Along. 269 00:11:30,197 --> 00:11:32,364 I Can't Take Ellen Out In Public. 270 00:11:33,497 --> 00:11:34,764 Why? 271 00:11:34,764 --> 00:11:36,064 She's A Kid. 272 00:11:36,064 --> 00:11:37,264 She's 12. 273 00:11:37,264 --> 00:11:38,797 What Would People Say 274 00:11:38,797 --> 00:11:40,931 If They Saw Me With Her? 275 00:11:40,931 --> 00:11:43,297 They'd Say I Was Robbing The Cradle. 276 00:11:43,297 --> 00:11:45,831 That Girl Is Gorgeous. 277 00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:46,931 She's Beautiful. 278 00:11:46,931 --> 00:11:49,831 I'm Sorry, All I See Is 12. 279 00:11:49,831 --> 00:11:52,831 There's A Certain Age That You Said To Me 280 00:11:52,831 --> 00:11:55,831 "Dad, I'm Going To Party Until I'm Burnt Out 281 00:11:55,831 --> 00:11:58,497 Then Find A Woman To Settle Down With." 282 00:11:58,497 --> 00:11:59,897 What Age Is That? 283 00:11:59,897 --> 00:12:00,697 Twenty-Four. 284 00:12:00,697 --> 00:12:02,564 When You're 24 285 00:12:02,564 --> 00:12:06,531 She Will Be Around 20 Or 21. 286 00:12:06,531 --> 00:12:09,164 And You'll Be Looking For Somebody. 287 00:12:09,164 --> 00:12:12,497 Wouldn't It Be Nice To Be Nice To Her 288 00:12:12,497 --> 00:12:15,764 So She Will Remember You When You're 24? 289 00:12:15,764 --> 00:12:19,097 All Right, I'll Do It-- Because It's Your Birthday. 290 00:12:19,097 --> 00:12:20,064 Thank You. 291 00:12:20,064 --> 00:12:21,731 And On My 24th Birthday 292 00:12:21,731 --> 00:12:24,731 If She Turns Out As Beautiful As You Say 293 00:12:24,731 --> 00:12:28,664 You Have To Find Her And Bring Her To My Party. 294 00:12:28,664 --> 00:12:30,297 All Right. 295 00:12:39,997 --> 00:12:41,897 And There's Hector-- 296 00:12:41,897 --> 00:12:44,230 The Only One Who Can Ski-- 297 00:12:44,230 --> 00:12:46,730 Standing On The Slope, Saying 298 00:12:46,730 --> 00:12:50,397 "I Will Ski Beautifully, And You Can Eat My Snow." 299 00:12:50,397 --> 00:12:52,130 That's Him. 300 00:12:52,130 --> 00:12:54,630 We Were Lucky Margie Was Around. 301 00:12:54,630 --> 00:12:57,297 Whenever Anyone Fell, She Would Say 302 00:12:57,297 --> 00:12:59,230 "Get Up. You Can Do It." 303 00:12:59,230 --> 00:13:00,730 She Had Team Spirit. 304 00:13:00,730 --> 00:13:02,730 Margie Never Complained About Anything. 305 00:13:02,730 --> 00:13:03,897 Except The Cold. 306 00:13:03,897 --> 00:13:06,664 I Spent A Fortune Buying Hot Chocolate. 307 00:13:06,664 --> 00:13:08,964 Can't Blame Margie For That. 308 00:13:08,964 --> 00:13:10,130 It Was Cold. 309 00:13:10,130 --> 00:13:12,597 We've Been Sitting Here Too Long. 310 00:13:12,597 --> 00:13:15,130 You All Move Into The Living Room. 311 00:13:15,130 --> 00:13:16,564 We'll Straighten Up 312 00:13:16,564 --> 00:13:18,230 And Be Right In. 313 00:13:18,230 --> 00:13:21,597 Let's Move Before They Start Another Football Story. 314 00:13:21,597 --> 00:13:23,097 No More Football Stories. 315 00:13:23,097 --> 00:13:28,030 Did I Ever Tell You About When Cliff And I Ran Track? 316 00:13:28,030 --> 00:13:30,697 Can You Believe That Man? 317 00:13:30,697 --> 00:13:32,097 Huh? 318 00:13:32,097 --> 00:13:34,797 Complaining That Margie Spent Too Much Money 319 00:13:34,797 --> 00:13:36,730 On Hot Chocolate. 320 00:13:36,730 --> 00:13:37,497 That Was A Joke. 321 00:13:37,497 --> 00:13:38,764 It Was A Poor Joke. 322 00:13:38,764 --> 00:13:41,297 You Know Better, Because You Were There. 323 00:13:41,297 --> 00:13:42,430 It Was Cold. 324 00:13:42,430 --> 00:13:43,264 I Know. 325 00:13:43,264 --> 00:13:45,497 I Drank Chocolate, Too. 326 00:13:45,497 --> 00:13:46,797 You Didn't Complain. 327 00:13:46,797 --> 00:13:47,997 No, I Didn't. 328 00:13:47,997 --> 00:13:49,164 Tell You What-- 329 00:13:49,164 --> 00:13:51,730 Why Don't We Brew Some Coffee 330 00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:53,230 Take Some Deep Breaths 331 00:13:53,230 --> 00:13:56,064 And Then Go In The Living Room. 332 00:13:56,064 --> 00:13:58,564 I Don't Want To Be Near That Man-- 333 00:13:58,564 --> 00:14:01,864 Looking Like A Peacock, Criticizing Margie. 334 00:14:01,864 --> 00:14:03,397 I Want To Smack Him! 335 00:14:03,397 --> 00:14:04,797 You Brew The Coffee. 336 00:14:04,797 --> 00:14:09,364 I'll Go Get A Football Helmet And Put It On His Head. 337 00:14:11,130 --> 00:14:13,064 Just A Little Joke. 338 00:14:19,230 --> 00:14:23,097 Hey, Let's Get Moving With The Java. 339 00:14:23,097 --> 00:14:25,964 I Just Finished Making A Lovely Presentation. 340 00:14:25,964 --> 00:14:26,797 Where's Clair? 341 00:14:26,797 --> 00:14:27,997 She's Downstairs 342 00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:29,530 Soaking The Tablecloth. 343 00:14:29,530 --> 00:14:30,497 I'll Help. 344 00:14:30,497 --> 00:14:32,164 No, You'd Be Better Off 345 00:14:32,164 --> 00:14:33,664 Up Here With Me. 346 00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:36,497 You're Done. 347 00:14:36,497 --> 00:14:39,597 I Said You'd Be Better Off Up Here Helping Me. 348 00:14:39,597 --> 00:14:40,930 There's A Problem, Isn't There? 349 00:14:40,930 --> 00:14:42,030 Yeah. 350 00:14:42,030 --> 00:14:44,464 I Thought When I Was Invited Tonight 351 00:14:44,464 --> 00:14:47,464 I Was Forgiven For What Happened With Margie. 352 00:14:47,464 --> 00:14:49,764 Clair Just Needs A Little Time. 353 00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:51,664 I'd Really Like To Talk To Clair. 354 00:14:51,664 --> 00:14:53,030 Okay, Go Ahead. 355 00:14:53,030 --> 00:14:56,830 But Remember, You Don't Have Me To Block For You. 356 00:14:56,830 --> 00:14:58,730 With The Way You Blocked 357 00:14:58,730 --> 00:15:00,997 I Got Used To Running Unprotected. 358 00:15:00,997 --> 00:15:03,697 Okay. Good Luck. 359 00:15:03,697 --> 00:15:07,364 I Hope You Straighten Things Out. 360 00:15:07,364 --> 00:15:10,730 Then She Might Let You Come Play With Me. 361 00:15:10,730 --> 00:15:12,730 I'm Taking The Coffee In! 362 00:15:12,730 --> 00:15:15,797 Cliff, I'll Be In As Soon As I Put These... 363 00:15:15,797 --> 00:15:18,130 Dishes In The Dishwasher. 364 00:15:18,130 --> 00:15:19,730 Let Me Help You. 365 00:15:19,730 --> 00:15:21,697 I've Got This Under Control. 366 00:15:21,697 --> 00:15:24,330 Why Don't You Join The Others? 367 00:15:24,330 --> 00:15:26,497 Will We Ever Clear This Up? 368 00:15:26,497 --> 00:15:27,564 Clear What Up? 369 00:15:27,564 --> 00:15:29,864 Ever Since Marge And I Got Divorced 370 00:15:29,864 --> 00:15:31,730 I've Been In Your Doghouse. 371 00:15:31,730 --> 00:15:35,430 This Isn't The Time To Talk About This. 372 00:15:35,430 --> 00:15:38,430 You're Right-- I'll Bring It Up 373 00:15:38,430 --> 00:15:39,964 When We're Having Coffee. 374 00:15:39,964 --> 00:15:41,730 I Think I See A Smile. 375 00:15:41,730 --> 00:15:43,864 It's Okay. I Won't Tell. 376 00:15:43,864 --> 00:15:47,297 Leave Me Alone. I'm Angry With You. 377 00:15:47,297 --> 00:15:48,664 At Least You've Said It. 378 00:15:48,664 --> 00:15:50,230 Thank You. You're Welcome. 379 00:15:50,230 --> 00:15:52,530 Why Can't You Forgive Me? 380 00:15:52,530 --> 00:15:53,830 I Don't Know. 381 00:15:53,830 --> 00:15:56,497 It's Been Five Years Since The Divorce. 382 00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:58,164 I Have A Good Memory. 383 00:15:58,164 --> 00:16:00,864 You Did Something I Cannot Easily Forgive. 384 00:16:00,864 --> 00:16:02,130 I'm Not Denying It. 385 00:16:02,130 --> 00:16:03,330 I Cheated On Margie. 386 00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:04,497 Yes, You Did. 387 00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:05,697 And I'm Sorry. 388 00:16:05,697 --> 00:16:07,897 I Was Wrong. I Hurt Her. 389 00:16:07,897 --> 00:16:09,597 Yes, You Did. 390 00:16:09,597 --> 00:16:12,764 When I Realized That, I Was Never Sorrier. 391 00:16:12,764 --> 00:16:14,830 I Haven't Stopped Loving Margie. 392 00:16:14,830 --> 00:16:16,764 But She's Remarried And Happy. 393 00:16:16,764 --> 00:16:19,497 I Can't Beg Her To Come Back. 394 00:16:19,497 --> 00:16:24,197 But Until I Die, I'll Never Ever Find A Friend Like Her. 395 00:16:24,197 --> 00:16:26,364 Margie Is A Good Friend. 396 00:16:26,364 --> 00:16:29,530 We Get Along Now. She's Forgiven Me. 397 00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:32,030 Are You Telling The Truth? 398 00:16:32,030 --> 00:16:35,264 Yes. Just Think About Giving Me A Chance. 399 00:16:35,264 --> 00:16:38,430 I'll Think About It. 400 00:16:38,430 --> 00:16:43,064 Cliff Said If We Work It Out, You'll Let Me Play With Him. 401 00:16:43,064 --> 00:16:45,430 Please. 402 00:16:49,497 --> 00:16:51,397 Do You Mind If I Shoot Some Hoops? 403 00:16:51,397 --> 00:16:52,764 No. 404 00:16:57,064 --> 00:16:59,597 Looks Like You've Got A Pretty Good Dunk Shot. 405 00:16:59,597 --> 00:17:01,630 You Know About Basketball? 406 00:17:01,630 --> 00:17:03,764 Dad Takes Me To Games. 407 00:17:03,764 --> 00:17:05,430 Really? 408 00:17:05,430 --> 00:17:09,497 If The 76ers Make The Finals, Dad Said He'd Get Tickets. 409 00:17:09,497 --> 00:17:10,564 Whoa. 410 00:17:10,564 --> 00:17:12,630 We Do A Lot Together. 411 00:17:12,630 --> 00:17:15,030 Last Summer We Went Backpacking In Maine. 412 00:17:15,030 --> 00:17:19,030 Next Month, We're Going White-Water Rafting In Colorado. 413 00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:21,564 What's The Matter? 414 00:17:21,564 --> 00:17:24,164 I'm Trying To Picture Vanessa And Dad 415 00:17:24,164 --> 00:17:27,530 Alone In A Raft Going Down A River. 416 00:17:27,530 --> 00:17:29,830 Dad Likes To Do Things With Me. 417 00:17:29,830 --> 00:17:32,830 He Makes The Most Of Our Time Together. 418 00:17:32,830 --> 00:17:35,330 How Long Have Your Parents Been Divorced? 419 00:17:35,330 --> 00:17:37,064 About Five Years. 420 00:17:37,064 --> 00:17:38,097 Was It Rough? 421 00:17:38,097 --> 00:17:40,230 Well, I Was Only Seven. 422 00:17:40,230 --> 00:17:41,530 I Cried A Lot. 423 00:17:41,530 --> 00:17:42,697 I'm 12 Now. 424 00:17:42,697 --> 00:17:44,897 I Understand These Things Happen. 425 00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:47,530 You're Pretty Together About All This. 426 00:17:47,530 --> 00:17:48,630 Thanks. 427 00:17:48,630 --> 00:17:50,264 Want To Take A Shot? 428 00:17:50,264 --> 00:17:52,030 Okay. 429 00:17:54,597 --> 00:17:56,630 I'm Better At Watching. 430 00:17:56,630 --> 00:17:57,797 Can You Roller Skate? 431 00:17:57,797 --> 00:17:58,630 Yeah. 432 00:17:58,630 --> 00:18:00,764 Want To Go To The Rink? 433 00:18:00,764 --> 00:18:01,530 Sure. 434 00:18:01,530 --> 00:18:03,597 Let's Get Our Coats. 435 00:18:03,597 --> 00:18:06,030 We May Run Into My Friends. 436 00:18:06,030 --> 00:18:09,830 How About If I Say You're Baby-Sitting Me? 437 00:18:09,830 --> 00:18:12,464 You Don't Have To Do That. 438 00:18:12,464 --> 00:18:16,130 We'll Just Tell Them You're My Cousin From Missouri. 439 00:18:21,930 --> 00:18:23,430 Clair, Adieu. 440 00:18:23,430 --> 00:18:24,430 Adieu. 441 00:18:24,430 --> 00:18:26,730 Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow. 442 00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:28,797 Please Take That Phony Accent 443 00:18:28,797 --> 00:18:30,397 And Get Out. 444 00:18:30,397 --> 00:18:32,097 All: Good-Bye. 445 00:18:32,097 --> 00:18:34,030 Happy Birthday, Brother. 446 00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:35,197 Thank You. 447 00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:36,897 I'll See You. 448 00:18:36,897 --> 00:18:38,464 I'll Be Blocking For You. 449 00:18:38,464 --> 00:18:39,830 Thanks. Good Night. 450 00:18:39,830 --> 00:18:41,630 Good Night. 451 00:18:41,630 --> 00:18:43,364 Oh, That Was Lovely. 452 00:18:43,364 --> 00:18:45,697 That Was Lovely. Thank You. 453 00:18:46,897 --> 00:18:48,197 Thank You So Much. 454 00:18:48,197 --> 00:18:49,697 I Enjoyed It. 455 00:18:49,697 --> 00:18:52,030 I'm Glad You Enjoyed That. 456 00:18:55,697 --> 00:18:57,197 ( Nothing Happens ) 457 00:18:59,364 --> 00:19:02,764 You Did Something To It. 458 00:19:02,764 --> 00:19:04,097 ( Beeping ) 459 00:19:04,097 --> 00:19:05,597 What Did You Do? 460 00:19:05,597 --> 00:19:08,197 The Key Ring Does Not Like You 461 00:19:08,197 --> 00:19:09,430 But I Do. 462 00:19:09,430 --> 00:19:10,030 You Do? 463 00:19:10,030 --> 00:19:11,130 Oh, Yes. 464 00:19:11,130 --> 00:19:14,397 If I Clap, Will You Beep For Me? 465 00:19:14,397 --> 00:19:15,930 Maybe. 466 00:19:15,930 --> 00:19:18,530 Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep. 467 00:19:19,864 --> 00:19:21,397 I Had A Talk With Mark. 468 00:19:21,397 --> 00:19:22,764 Oh, Yeah? 469 00:19:22,764 --> 00:19:24,630 Did You Smack Him? 470 00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:26,697 No, I Listened To Him. 471 00:19:26,697 --> 00:19:28,164 Good. 472 00:19:28,164 --> 00:19:33,064 It's Tough Being Divorced And Having Your Friends 473 00:19:33,064 --> 00:19:35,364 Like You And Not Like You. 474 00:19:35,364 --> 00:19:39,197 I Would Imagine That If We Were Divorced 475 00:19:39,197 --> 00:19:40,797 How Many People... 476 00:19:40,797 --> 00:19:44,264 You've Been Thinking About This? 477 00:19:44,264 --> 00:19:45,930 What I'm Talking About Is... 478 00:19:45,930 --> 00:19:47,230 What Are You Talking About? 479 00:19:47,230 --> 00:19:48,897 I'm Making A Point. 480 00:19:48,897 --> 00:19:49,864 What's The Point? 481 00:19:49,864 --> 00:19:53,030 There Is No Point. 482 00:19:53,030 --> 00:19:54,097 I Wasn't... 483 00:19:54,097 --> 00:19:56,164 I Didn't Say Anything. 484 00:19:56,164 --> 00:19:58,764 Where Would You Stay If We Broke Up? 485 00:19:58,764 --> 00:20:00,764 I Don't Think I Could Live 486 00:20:00,764 --> 00:20:02,097 If We Broke Up. 487 00:20:02,097 --> 00:20:04,030 You Know Where You'd Stay. 488 00:20:04,030 --> 00:20:04,830 Where? 489 00:20:04,830 --> 00:20:06,364 At That Fool's House. 490 00:20:06,364 --> 00:20:07,930 What..? 491 00:20:07,930 --> 00:20:10,497 That Fool That Puts Cans On His Head 492 00:20:10,497 --> 00:20:12,530 And Squashes Them. 493 00:20:12,530 --> 00:20:15,497 You All Would Have A Bachelor Pad. 494 00:20:15,497 --> 00:20:18,797 You'd Have All-Night Parties Of Degradation. 495 00:20:18,797 --> 00:20:19,964 I Would Not. 496 00:20:19,964 --> 00:20:22,997 You'll Be Sorry When I Say My Piece 497 00:20:22,997 --> 00:20:24,164 Which Is Truth. 498 00:20:24,164 --> 00:20:26,730 When The Children Were In There 499 00:20:26,730 --> 00:20:30,630 And Brought The Cake With The Candles 500 00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:32,630 And I Blew Them Out 501 00:20:32,630 --> 00:20:37,597 The Wish Was We Would Always Be In Love With Each Other 502 00:20:37,597 --> 00:20:39,297 Forever 503 00:20:39,297 --> 00:20:40,997 And Married 504 00:20:40,997 --> 00:20:43,164 And Together Forever. 505 00:20:43,164 --> 00:20:44,364 Now. 506 00:20:45,664 --> 00:20:46,730 You Did That? 507 00:20:46,730 --> 00:20:47,730 I Did. 508 00:20:47,730 --> 00:20:49,730 Because You Are A Lawyer 509 00:20:49,730 --> 00:20:53,864 And If We Got Divorced, You Would Take Me For Everything. 510 00:20:54,930 --> 00:20:57,097 You Got That Right. 511 00:20:57,097 --> 00:20:58,797 Yes, Indeed. 512 00:20:58,797 --> 00:21:00,197 Let's Go To Bed. 513 00:21:00,197 --> 00:21:01,530 Now You're Talking. 514 00:21:01,530 --> 00:21:02,964 I Want You To Know 515 00:21:02,964 --> 00:21:05,497 I'm Happy My Birthday Is Over 516 00:21:05,497 --> 00:21:07,697 Because This Stomach Of Mine... 517 00:21:07,697 --> 00:21:10,864 No More Cake In This Thing. 518 00:21:10,864 --> 00:21:12,064 ( Beeping )