What Are You Doing?
Having Breakfast.
I've Got It!
What Is That?
My Free Packet Of Snappers Candy.
You Ruined A Whole Box Of Cereal To Get To These "Snappers"?
It's Not Ruined.
You Put Your Grubby Hands In It.
Don't Touch It Anymore.
Nobody Will Eat That.
I Will.
Hey, Dad.
You Opened The New Cereal.
You Find The Candy?
Want Some?
Sure.
You Know About This?
Yeah.
How Much Does This Cereal Cost?
Uh... $1.79.
How Many Candies Did You Get?
Five.
How Much Does Five Go Into $1.79?
Somewhere Around 35 Cents.
So Each Candy Comes Out To How Much Apiece?
35 Cents Apiece!
Now, When You Go To The Candy Store
What Do You Pay For These Things?
Two For A Penny.
Two For A Penny!
But Out Of The Box, They're 35 Cents Apiece.
What Have We Learned From This?
( Ring )
Theo, Will You Play With Me?
Today's Saturday.
It's My Day Off.
I'll Give You
All My Snappers If You Do.
All These If I Play With You?
You Don't Have To Do That.
Just Give Me Three Of Them.
Well, Okay.
That's A Shame, Dr. Bolden.
I'll Talk To Somebody As Soon As I Can.
That's A Shame.
Bye-Bye.
What's A Shame?
They're Cutting 30 People
From The Hospital Staff.
Oh, That Is Terrible.
The Main Thing Is They're Cutting Mrs. Granger.
Who's She?
The Nice Lady
Who Does A Fantastic Job Cleaning The Doctors' Lounge
And Gives Us The Cookies.
And Leaves You Apples When You Gain Weight.
Yes.
I Like That Lady.
They're Letting Her Go, And I'm Not Taking It.
I'm Going To Talk To Somebody.
Good For You.
Yeah.
I'd Love To Talk
But I'm Going To The Office.
Hurry Home. I'll Be Back This Afternoon.
Cliff?
Yes?
I Bought This Cereal For The Children.
You're In Here
Digging For Those Candies, Aren't You?
Don't You Eat This Cereal.
Shh! Shh!
Don't Say Anything.
Vanessa, Did Rudy Come Through Here?
She Was In Here.
Got You.
You're It!
Take It Easy.
Mom And Dad Don't Like Horseplay.
We're Just Playing Tag.
You're It.
We Can't Play In The House.
You'll Get In Trouble.
I Promised Rudy We'd Play.
Quit Being A Downer.
Okay, Have It Your Way.
Let's Play In My Room.
We Don't Need Miss Killjoy.
Yeah, Sour-Head!
Someday You'll Appreciate Me For My Wisdom.
Someday I'll Be Happy If I Just Appreciate You.
You're It!
Hi, Dad.
How You Doing?
Did You Go Shopping?
Yeah.
Looks Like You Bought A Lot.
Yeah.
Vanessa?
I Could Use Some Help Here.
Would You Like Me To Help You?
Oh.
Vanessa?
Yeah?
Oh.
( Loud Thud )
( Scream )
That's Rudy.
( Crying )
Shh! It's Okay, Rudy.
I Want Mommy!
Mommy!
What Happened?
She Fell.
Okay, Let Me See Here.
Stop Crying.
I Want Mommy!
Take Your Hand Away.
Oh, Rudy, You Look Awful!
Oh, Thanks A Lot.
No, No, You Don't Look Awful.
I Want To See A Doctor.
I Am A Doctor.
No, You're Daddy.
I Understand.
I Want Mommy.
Mommy Won't Be Back For A While.
Then I'll Wait.
No, Let Me Look At It.
Ow!
I Haven't Touched You Yet.
I'll Touch You The Way Mommy Taught Me.
My Hands Are Approaching Your Face.
Ow!
I Haven't Touched You Yet.
I'm Putting My Hand On Your Head.
Now This One's On Top And This One's Free.
I'm Coming In To Take A Look.
No, I Haven't Touched You Yet.
I'm Touching Your Face.
Ow!
It's Too Late Now.
All You've Done Is Scrape Your Face.
I Don't Think Any Bones Are Broken.
You Got A Little Cut On The Upper Lip.
I'll Get My Bag, Be Back, Clean You Up.
Okay.
Keep An Eye On Her.
I Told You Guys Not To Run In The House.
We Weren't.
What Happened?
It Was An Accident.
What We're You Doing?
Remember The Circus Tumblers
Who Push People Up In The Air With Their Feet
And Catch Them?
Theo Missed.
How Could You Do That?!
She's A Little Kid!
It Was An Accident.
Like The Time You Made Me The Human Cannonball?
How Could I Know You'd Go That Far?
What's The Human Cannonball?
Theo Locked His Hands.
I Put My Foot In His Hands
He Yells "Fire," Throws Me In The Air.
I'm Supposed To Curl Up And Land On The Bed.
Theo Throws Me Over The Bed
And I Land On The Dresser.
You Opened Up.
You Weren't Supposed To.
That Was Your Fault.
I Yelled "Fire," And You Panicked.
Rudy, No Matter How Much Fun He Says You'll Have, Don't Do It.
He's Injured Every Girl In This House.
One Of These Days We'll Get Together
And Hurt You Good.
Forget About That.
We Need An Excuse.
What Do You Mean?
Remember When Dad Found Out We Did The Human Cannonball?
We Got Grounded For Two Weeks.
I Don't Want Trouble.
That's Why We've Got To Be Cool About This.
I Got It.
If Dad Asks What Happened
We'll Say You Fell Off The Bed.
You Did Bounce Off The Bed After You Hit The Wall.
What If Dad Asks What Rudy Was Doing When She Fell?
We'll Say She Was Reaching For A Book And Slipped.
"We'll Say"?
I'm Not Saying Anything.
I'm Just An Advisor.
Then Advise Me.
Say Rudy Fell And Hit Her Head On Something
Like A Shoe.
A Shoe Wouldn't Hurt.
Let's Say She Hit Her Head On A Barbell.
Sounds Good.
Rudy, You Were On The Bed
Reached For A Book, Slipped, And Hit Your Head On A Barbell.
Okay.
Thank You.
Hold On To This.
When I'm Finished
Put That Ice On Her Face To Keep The Swelling Down.
What Are You Going To Do?
I'll Clean Your Face With Some Things In This Bag
That I Borrowed From A Real Doctor.
Good One, Dad.
Now, How Did This Happen?
I Slipped On A Book And Hit My Head On A Shoe.
Hmm.
I Missed You.
Mmm!
I Finished My Work Fast
So I Could Come Home And Be With You.
And I Took A Nap
So That When You Came Home, I'd Be Fresh.
Are You Fr-Esh?
Farm Fr-Esh!
Hi, Mommy.
Hi, Rudy.
Rudy!
Rudy, Are You All Right?
I Fell.
Cliff, What Happened Here?
She'll Be All Right.
Her Face Is Swollen, But She's All Right.
Honey, How Did You Fall?
I Slipped Off Theo's Bed.
Cliff, How Did This Happen?
I Wasn't There.
You Have To Ask Theo.
What Were You Doing When You Fell?
I Was Reaching For A Barbell
And I Fell On My Shoes.
Rudy, Go Upstairs And Tell Theo To Come Down.
Okay, Mommy.
Did You Hear That Pitiful Excuse?
"Reached For A Barbell And Fell On Her Shoes"?
The Child Is Obviously Not Telling The Truth.
I'll Bet Theo Is Involved.
What Did He Say?
I Didn't Ask Him Anything.
Don't You Care How Rudy Got Hurt?
I've Lived With These Children For Over 20 Years.
I Don't Ask Them Anything.
I Just Patch Them Up.
Hey, Mom, How Was Work?
Fine.
Were You With Rudy When She Had Her Accident?
Well, You See, Actually...
Answer "Yes" Or "No."
Well, Yes.
Is This The Result Of The Human Cannonball?
No, Mom, It Was Not The Human Cannonball.
Then What Were You Doing?
Doing?
When This Happened.
Oh...
You See, We Were Upstairs...
There's A Stiff Penalty For Lying To Your Mother.
All Right.
We Were Playing Circus.
We Were The Tumblers.
I Threw Rudy In The Air With My Feet
And She Hit A Wall.
The Wall?
I Hit The Wall.
You Hit The Wall With Your Face?
Oh, My Poor Baby.
Are You Sure You're All Right?
I Can't Breathe Through My Nose.
Cliff, This Is Serious.
Call A Doctor.
I Told Him To.
She'll Be All Right.
She Doesn't Need A Doctor.
Call Dr. Collins.
She'll Be Fine.
I Won't Call Dr. Collins
And Have Her Open Her Office On A Saturday.
I'll Call Her.
She'll Meet You At The Hospital Emergency Room.
Rudy, We're Going To The Hospital.
Good.
I'll Come Along.
Theo, You Don't Have To Go.
Since You're So Interested In The Circus
You Can Join The Huxtable Circus.
This Is The Big Top.
Clean It From Top To Bottom.
Start With Those Windows
And After That, Do The Floors.
Yes, Mom.
Son, Look At It This Way:
Here, No Elephants.
Hi, Dr. Huxtable.
Mrs. Granger. Nice To See You.
I'm Glad You're Here.
I Brought Treats.
Uh-Oh.
Ah... Cookies.
Yeah, I Have Cookies And Apples
But First We Have To See Which You're Going To Eat.
Uh-Oh.
You're Holding It In.
You're Within The Limits, So You Get Cookies.
Good. What Kind?
Peanut Butter-Chocolate Chip With Macadamia Nuts.
All Right!
These Should Be Eaten.
I Hope You Brought Some For The Other Doctors.
You Get Two.
Two? Oh, No.
So... How You Doing?
I'm Fine. And You?
Oh, Great.
How's That Grandson Of Yours?
Oh... The Joy Of My Life.
I Asked Him
"What Will You Be When You Grow Up?"
He Says, "A Grandma."
I Said, "Why A Grandma?"
He Says, "Everybody Loves Grandmas
And Grandmas Give Kids Presents."
I'm No Fool.
That Kid's Conning Me Into Giving Him A Present.
Did You Get Him One?
Of Course.
I Love What He Has To Say About Grandmas.
What Does He Say About Grandpas?
Nothing. He's Never Seen Him.
Oh, I'm Sorry.
I'm Not. My Grandson Isn't Missing Anything.
You See, I Got Married When I Was 16.
That I Didn't Know.
Oh, Yeah.
I Was Pregnant, Too.
That You Didn't Know.
Sixteen?
Sixteen.
It Took Me Five Months To Tell My Parents.
The Next Morning, My Father Took Me And Ennis
And We Stood In Front Of The Judge.
It Was Some Honeymoon.
Ennis Looked For A Job
And I Looked For An Apartment We Could Afford.
You Didn't Go To Niagara Falls.
Oh, No.
The Night Of Our First Anniversary, Ennis Said:
"I'm Going Out To Buy Cigarettes.
I'll Be Right Back."
It Must Have Been One Long Line At That Store
Because He Never Came Back.
Oh, No.
Oh, Yeah.
For Three Days
My Father And I Looked For That Boy.
Suddenly I Realized, "What Am I Killing Myself For?
Why Should I Worry About Trash Like That?"
But As The Old Saying Goes:
"'Tis Better To Have Loved And Lost
Than Never To Have Loved At All."
Shakespeare.
Alfred Lord Tennyson.
Oh...
He Was An English Poet--
Lived In The 1800s.
Downtown.
I'm Going To Miss You.
I Heard About The Cutbacks.
Is There Anything I Can Help With?
Nope.
What Will You Do?
I'm Not Sure.
First, I Was A Little Afraid.
But Then My Daughter Says:
"Mom, You're A Bright, Intelligent Woman."
I Couldn't Disagree With That.
Then She Says:
"Since You Paid For Me To Go Through College
I'll Pay For You To Go Through College."
I Love It.
Come On...
No, I Love It.
Can You See Me On A College Campus?
Yes!
In Class?
Yes!
With My Grandson
On My Back?
It Would Be Beautiful! Yes!
Yeah, I Can See That.
Mm-Hmm.
I'm Not Saying
I'm Definitely Going To School...
But For The First Time
I'm In Charge Of What I'm Going To Do.
"I Am The Master Of My Fate.
I Am The Captain Of My Soul."
Who Said That?
Uh... Alfred Lord Tennyson?
Buddy Rich?
Oh, Come On...
Who Said It?
Look It Up.
"Look It Up." Okay.
I Am Going To Miss You.
Oh, Listen...
What?
Oh, No, No.
The Cookies Are On Me.
Excuse Me. Dr. Huxtable?
Yes.
My Name Is Warren Davis.
I'm In Laundry Service.
They Just Laid Me Off.
Well, I'm Sorry.
You Went To Mr. Howe About Mrs. Granger's Job.
Yes, I Did.
It's All Over The Hospital.
I Heard You Beat Him Up.
Well... No, I Didn't...
You Should Do That For Me.
Mr. Davis, I...
Go And Tell Him About Me.
The Name Is Warren L. Davis.
Okay.
I Want My Job.
Mr. Davis, I Talked To Mr. Howe
And He Said She Has To Go, Anyway.
What?
I Said I Went Down
And Talked To Mr. Howe
And Mr. Howe Said
"I'm Going To Have To Let Mrs. Granger Go, Also."
Oh. Don't Say Nothing For Me, Then.
You're The Wrong Man.
I'm Going To Go Find Dr. Ross.
Somebody's Going To Tell Me Something
Because My Job...
We're Home!
Rudy, How Are You?
Fine.
Dr. Collins Said It Was A Little Swelling--
No Broken Bones...
The Same Thing Another Doctor Said--
Who Will Remain Nameless--
Before He Was Put Out Of The Joint.
I Think You Look Beautiful.
Thanks.
She Was Great.
We Went Into The Emergency Room
And She Went Up--
Gave Her Name, Her Address
Knew Her Phone Number And Her Zip Code.
Good For You.
Where Did You Get That Hat?
It's A Present.
The Nurses Chipped In And Bought The Hat
And Took Her Out For Lunch
And She Almost Left The Hospital
With Some Doctor's Reflex Hammer.
I Had A Good Time.
I'd Say So.
Go Upstairs And Get Ready For A Nap, Okay?
Okay.
I'll Come Up Later.
Do Me A Favor.
If Anybody Wants To Make A Cannonball Out Of You
And Bounce You Off A Wall
Send Them Down Here.
I'll Bounce Them.
Okay.
( Sigh )
Well... I Saw Mrs. Granger This Afternoon.
How's She Taking It?
Her Daughter's Putting Her Through College.
Stop It!
She's Going To College.
Her Daughter Said:
"Mom, Since You Worked Two Jobs And Sent Me Through College
"Now That You're Not Working
I'm Sending You Through College."
She Just Might Go.
That's Wonderful!
Yes, I Was Thinking About Asking Her Daughter To Come Here
And Talk To Our Children.
Cliff, We've Already Been Through College.
That's All Right.
I'm Willing To Settle For The Cash.