I'm Good For It.
You Promised You'd Pay Me Back Today.
Today's Not Over.
What's Going On?
Theo Owes Me $5.00.
You, Too?
Look, Vanessa, I Don't Owe You $5.00.
I Owe You $3.00.
Lately I've Been Hearing, "You Owe"
And At The Front And The Back Of It
I Hear The Name Theo.
You Owe Everybody.
I Don't Owe Everybody.
You Owe Me A Quarter.
I'm Good For It.
When?
I'll Tell You When- Never.
All Right, I'll Pay You.
Can I Have An Advance On My Allowance?
Son, You're Already Backed Up To Your 50th Birthday.
You're Developing Bad Habits With Your Finances.
What Will You Do When You Get Out Into The Real World?
If You Owe Money
People Won't Be So Understanding.
A Bank Won't Listen To Your Excuses.
Your Mother And Your Sister Are Absolutely Correct.
We're Your Family.
We Love You.
We Let You Borrow Money
Even Though You're Not Qualified To Pay It Back.
In The Real World, It's Going To Be Different.
I'll Do Fine.
I'm Going To Have Lots Of Money.
I Hope You're Not Waiting For Me To Die.
No.
I'm Going To Earn It.
How?
I'll Be A Model.
I Want My Quarter Now!
I'm Serious.
I've Seen Those Guys On Magazines.
I Can Start Modeling When I'm 18.
You'll Be Ready To Leave When Your 18?
Definitely.
As A Model, I'll Be Making The Big Money.
Yes.
But Before You Make The Big Money
You'll Be Making, Maybe...
Teeny Money.
With Very Little Money
You'll Have To Get An Apartment And All The Things You Need.
When The Time Comes, I'll Be Ready.
I Like Your Confidence.
I Know What I'm Doing.
Really?
I'll Have A New Car
Nice Clothes
And A Great Apartment.
You Make It Sound Easy.
It Will Be.
See You Tomorrow.
Where Are You Going?
I'm Staying At Cockroach's House.
When You Coming Back?
Around Ten.
Okay.
Bye.
See You Later.
Will You All Be Here Around 10:00 Tomorrow?
Yeah.
Good.
Because I'm Going To Surprise Mr. Theo.
Tomorrow, When He Comes Here
This House Will Be The Real World.
Hey, Vanessa.
I'm Not Vanessa.
What?
My Name's Margo Farnsworth.
What Are You Talking About?
I'm Margo Farnsworth.
I Have An Apartment Here.
Whatever You Say, Margo.
Oh, Wait.
I Know Who You Are.
The Landlord Said
A Man Who's 18 And On His Own Is Renting An Apartment.
Huh?
A Young Man Who Wants To Be A Model.
Okay, I Get It.
You're Pretending I'm 18, A Model, And On My Own?
I'm Not Pretending.
Don't You Want To Rent An Apartment?
Fine. Okay.
I'll Rent An Apartment.
The Landlord Said To Ring The Bell.
The Landlord?
Yeah, All Apartment Buildings Have Landlords, Don't They?
Right, Vanessa.
Who Is Vanessa?
Never Mind.
Hey, Dad. How You Doing?
Who?
Oh, I'm Sorry.
I Mean, Mr. Landlord.
My Name Is Harley.
Harley Weewax.
Okay, Mr. Weewax.
My Name Is Theodore Huxtable.
Huxtable, Yes.
Your Folks Were By. Very Nice People.
Said To Give You This.
There You Go.
"Dear Theo, Here's $2,000 To Get Started.
"Good Luck.
We Love You. Mom And Dad."
Beautiful People.
This Is Play Money.
It's Good Here.
Great.
With Two Grand In My Pocket, I'll Be Set.
We Want To Welcome You To The Real World Apartments.
Take A Look At This.
You Can See The Woodwork Is All Hand Done.
Hi, Millie.
Hi, Harley.
How's Everything?
Millie?
Yes.
That's Millie Farquar.
She Runs The Chuck Wagon Restaurant.
Howdy.
You Need To Get Yourself Some Grub.
We're Located Off The Lobby, And We're Open 24 Hours.
Good One, Mom.
Who?
I'm Sorry. I Mean Mrs. Farquar.
Look Forward To Seeing You Real Soon.
We Have A Few Rules Here At The Real World Apartments.
Okay.
Rent Is Due First Of The Month.
No Exceptions.
No Problem.
No Loud Music Played After 10 P.M.
Got It.
And No Children.
Definitely.
Let's Go See The Apartment.
Whoa..!
Here Comes Mrs. Griswald.
Hi, Harley.
Who's That?
Mrs. Griswald.
She Owns This Building
But She Drinks Heavily.
Psst.
How Did It Go?
I Was Good.
All Right.
There You Go.
My Room.
What Did You Do To My Room?
I Don't Know What You're Talking About.
This Is An Unfurnished Apartment.
You've Destroyed My Room.
I Haven't Destroyed Anything.
The Last Tenant Left It This Way.
Okay, Unfurnished.
How Much Is It?
$600 A Month.
For One Room?
That's What They Get Nowadays.
Your Timing Is Bad.
Had You Tried To Move In Here In 1942
You Could Have Gotten The Whole House For $250.
Okay, I'll Take It.
Wait A Minute.
How Old Are You?
Dad, You Know How Old...
Oh, I Mean I'm 18, Mr. Weewax.
I'm Sorry, You Can't Have It.
18-Year-Olds Party Too Much.
Did I Say 18?
I've Been On My Own Since I Was 18.
I'm Actually 23.
That's Fine.
Okay.
I Will Need First And Last Month's Rent.
Why?
In Case You Start To Skip Out Early
I Got You.
That's $1,200.
I Need Another $600 Security Deposit.
Because Of Any Damages.
That's $1,800.
You Add Like A 23-Year-Old.
Okay, I'll Have To Take It.
Not Just Yet.
I Need References.
References?
Someone To Vouch For Your Character.
Like Your Employer.
You Do Have A Job?
I'm Getting One.
I'm A Model.
I Need Some Proof That You Can Pay The Rent.
I Promise To Pay.
I Cannot Feed My Family On A Promise.
You Have An Agent Who Can Write A Letter
Saying You Have A Steady Income?
No.
Where Can I Get One?
You're In Luck.
Downstairs There Is A Modeling Agency.
You Go Down There And Check In.
Thank You.
All Right.
Now Look-
You Better Hurry
Because This Apartment Will Go Quickly.
Vanessa...
Welcome To The Firestone Modeling Agency.
This Is The Modeling Agency?
Yes, I'm The Receptionist-
Kitty La Rue.
Wait, I Thought You Were Margo Farnsworth.
You Must Be Mistaken.
You Got An Appointment, Honey?
No, But Harley Weewax Sent Me.
I'm A Model. I Need An Agent.
We're Always Looking For New Faces.
I'll Ask Ms. Firestone If She'll See You.
Ms. Firestone?
Yes, Kitty.
That Gentleman Over There Needs An Agent.
How Does He Look?
Not Bad.
Send Him In.
Mrs. Firestone Will See You Right Over There.
Hello, Mrs. Firestone.
Do You Have Any Experience?
No, But I Look Good.
I'll Be The Judge Of That.
Now...
You're Doing A Layout For A New Men's Cologne.
You're Leaning On A Sports Car.
Very Masculine.
Let Me See That.
Not Bad.
Now Give Me The Look Of Someone
Who Just Won A Ten Million Dollar Sweepstakes.
Nice.
Now, Let Me See
A New Father Who's Holding His Baby For The First Time.
Goo Goo.
Nice.
Let Me See Your Pictures.
Pictures?
Yes, Pictures Of You In Different Looks.
Pictures Of You In Different Clothes.
I Don't Have Any Of Those.
You're Not Going To Get Work Without Pictures.
Get A Good Photographer And Have A Set Of Prints Done.
That's Going To Cost $800 To $1,200.
Could You Do Me A Favor?
What?
Could You Write A Letter Stating I'm Working As A Model?
But That Would Be Dishonest.
Excuse Me, I Must Call Paris.
Where You Going?
To Get A Reference.
Hold That Apartment.
Well, I Don't Know...
You Are Doing Great, Rudy.
Who's Rudy?
I'm Sorry.
I Mean Mrs. Griswald.
No Problem, Harley.
There's Nothing In Here.
Where's Your Stuff?
I Don't Know.
They're Going All Out.
That's Why You've Got To Be Good.
You've Got Nothing To Worry About.
All Right.
Mrs. Griswald Told Me You Were Up Here.
Hi, Mr. Weewax.
I'm Horton W. Dansberry.
You See
Instead Of A Letter
I Brought My Employer.
This Is Your Employer?
Yes.
What Business Are You In?
I'm In Oil.
Oil?
Yes.
I'll Give You One Of My Cards.
"Cockroach Oil"?
You Told Me You Were A Model.
I Am.
I'm The Spokesman For Cockroach Oil.
Yeah. Let Me Tell You Something About This Man.
He's Responsible, Dependable, Hardworking.
In Fact, He's The Reason Why Cockroach Oil
Is What It Is Today.
Congratulations, Mr. Huxtable.
You Have The Apartment.
All Right!
I Did It, Dad.
Who?
Come On, Dad.
Isn't This What It Was About-
Me Getting The Apartment By Myself?
I Proved I Can Do It
So Let's Get My Furniture In Here.
I Don't What You're Talking About.
Okay, Hold It.
I Need My Dad.
Could You Find Him For Me?
I'll See If He's In.
Thank You.
Who's Playing Your Dad?
My Dad.
Mr. Weewax Said You Wanted To See Me.
How Much Longer Will This Go On?
The Real World Stops For No Man
But For You, 24 Hours.
24 Hours? What Am I Supposed To Do?
What People Do In The Real World-
Get A Bed, Some Sheets And Pillowcases
Turn On The Phone And The Electricity
Get Some Furniture.
Where?
Ask Mr. Weewax.
Could You Get Him For Me?
I'll See If I Can Find Him.
This Is Fun.
That's Because It's Not Happening To You.
All Right, Sir.
That's A Lovely Man.
Now, You Need Some Furniture, I Understand.
Know Where I Can Get Some?
Furniture?
Of Course.
You're Lucky Today
Because Just Off Of Millie's Restaurant
Is The Finest Furniture Store
With Stuff You'll Like, I Think.
Who's Millie?
Mom.
This Is Amazing.
I Wish We Did This Kind Of Stuff At My House.
My Stuff!
Man, They Cleaned You Out.
Millie Owns The Furniture Store?
That's Not Millie, That's Amanda.
Hey, Harley.
How You Doing?
I Brought Some Customers.
Send Them Over.
Go On Over, Boys.
Welcome To Amanda's Furniture City.
If You Like It, You Touch It.
If You Break It, You Buy It.
If We Don't Have It, We'll Get It.
What Can I Do For You?
That's Funny. That's Funny.
$150 For My Stereo?
Darlin', It's Not Yours Yet
But For $135 You Can Walk Out With It.
That's Expensive.
I Only Have $200 To Furnish My Whole Apartment.
Does Your Friend Have Any Money?
Uh-Uh.
No.
You'd Better Get Yourself Another Friend.
$200?!
That's For Both Beds.
Can I Buy Just One?
No, Darlin', I Can't Break The Set.
Well, Why Not?
They Get Lonely, Okay?
Everything's So Expensive.
What Do I Do?
Did You Come Here For Advice Or Furniture?
You've Got To Figure Out Exactly What It Is You Need.
I Need It All.
You Won't Get It For $200, But You Are In Luck
Because Here At Furniture City
We Accept All Major Credit Cards.
I Don't Have Credit Cards.
You Are In Luck
Because Here At Furniture City We Accept Personal Checks.
I Don't Have Any Personal Checks.
Then You Are About To Leave Furniture City.
Mom...
That's Amanda.
Cockroach!
That's Mr. Dansberry To You.
Listen To Me.
You Need To Go To The Bank And Get Yourself A Loan.
Okay, Where's The Bank?
It's Very Easy To Find.
You Go Right Through Millie's Restaurant
And Make A Left Turn.
I Can't Wait To Meet The Banker.
Theo, This Would Be Great For "Career Day."
Knock It Off, Cockroach.
Hi, Boys.
Hey, Denise.
Wait A Minute.
She's Not Denise.
Yes, I Am.
You Are?
Yes, Theo.
Whew. Good.
Before We Go To The Bank, Can We Eat?
Sure.
Need Some Plates?
Yeah. Thanks.
All Right.
Here We Go.
What You Got There?
We Got Some Chicken...
This One's Carrot Salad
And The Other One's Tuna.
You Want Some Sodas?
Yeah. Yeah.
It Comes To $24.50- That's Without Tip.
Of Course.
Wait A Minute.
What Is This?
You're Eating In Millie's Restaurant.
I Thought You Were Denise.
I Am- Denise Farquar, Millie's Daughter.
Now Pay Up.
That's A Good One.
Put That Chicken Down.
Put It Down!
I'm Hungry.
You Paying For That?
No, You Are.
Cockroach, I Can't Spend This Much On One Meal.
I Have To Get Furniture.
I Have To Get Utilities, My Phone...
I'm On A Budget.
Denise, How Much For An Apple?
A Dollar.
We'll Take Two.
We'll Split One.
There's A Fifty-Cent Charge For Splitting.
That's $1.50- Without Tip, Of Course.
Okay, Fine.
Here.
Keep The Change.
Cockroach!
She's Nice.
See You Real Soon.
Not At These Prices You Won't.
Let's Eat At My House.
It's Free.
No.
They Started This. I'm Finishing It.
Here Are The Questions You Should Ask Theo.
Okay.
Here They Come.
Ahem.
Please Wait
While I Finish With This Nice Couple.
Vanessa...
Just Be Cool.
Your Loan Application Seems To Be In Perfect Order.
Looks Good.
I'm Going To Recommend Approval.
I'm So Happy.
Now We'll Be Able To Buy Our Dream Home.
And Start Planning Our Family.
We'll Have To Get This Loan Approved By The Bank President
Mrs. Griswald.
Mrs. Griswald?!
Oh, Man!
Mrs. Griswald?
Yes?
Please Tell Me What You Think About This Application.
Approved.
Thank You, Mrs. Griswald.
You're Welcome.
Excuse Me.
Now Comes The Good Part.
Congratulations.
Thank You So Much.
I Knew We Came To The Right Bank.
I'm So Glad We Came Here.
Now We Can Plan Our Future.
And The Family.
Oh, Thank You.
Thank You So Much For All Your Help.
And, Mrs. Griswald...
Thank You.
You're Welcome.
If You Need More Money, Call Us.
I Think That's A Little Bit Too...
Next.
Dad, I Can't Play This With Vanessa.
Next.
So, Who Are You Now?
Mrs. Covington, The Bank's Vice-President.
Don't Eat Here.
What May I Do For You?
You Can't Do A Thing For Me.
Theo
Let Me Handle This.
This Gentleman Works For Me.
I'm The President And Owner Of Cockroach Oil.
I See. Where Is Cockroach Oil Located?
Our Headquarters Are On The Top Floor
Of The 49-Story Cockroach Oil Building.
Mm-Hmm.
The Address?
891 East 54th Street.
Your Phone Number?
I Must Confirm This Information.
Uh... We Don't Have A Phone.
You Own A 49-Story Building And You Don't Own A Phone?
No Phone?!
She Caught Me Off Guard.
It's Only Vanessa.
She's The Bank's Vice-President.
Forget Him.
Look, I Need A Loan
To Get Furniture And Pictures For My Modeling Agency.
How Much Money Do You Need?
About $2,500.
You've Had A Loan Before?
No.
This Doesn't Look Good For You, Mr. Huxtable.
You Have No Credit History.
Your Boss Doesn't Own A Phone.
I Need The Money. I'll Repay It.
I Like To Give Young People A Break.
I'll Recommend Approval For Your Loan.
All Right!
Mrs. Griswald?
Oh, No.
Mrs. Griswald, Could You Come Here, Please?
What Do You Want?
I'm Busy.
I'm Recommending That We Give This Man A Loan.
No.
But, Mrs. Griswald...
No!
Why Not?
You Have Nothing!
Look, Once You Have Money And A Job
Come Back And I'll Be Glad To Give You Your Loan.
I Won't Need It Then.
Are There Any Other Banks In This Building?
Yes. They're Owned By Mrs. Griswald.
That's Right.
Come In.
Hi, Mr. Weewax. Amanda.
No, Son, It's Mom And Dad.
Don't You Recognize Us?
I Don't Know Who Anybody Is Anymore.
Don't You Have Electricity?
Not Yet.
I Rented These From Cockroach
And I Bought My Stereo
Before I Knew I Needed A $50 Deposit
To Get My Utilities Turned On.
I Found Out Mrs. Griswald Owns The Electric Company.
I Happen To Be A Personal Friend Of Mrs. Griswald
So, There You Go.
Thanks, Dad.
Your Father And I Brought You Something To Eat.
Great!
Mind If We Join You?
No...
All Right, A Bacon Burger Dog!
So, How Did You Like The Real World?
It's A Lot Tougher Than I Thought It Was
But So Am I.
Good For You.
Nice Place You Have Here.
Thanks.
I Could Use A Chair, A Bed And A Few Clothes.
Otherwise, I've Got Everything I Need.
That's Very Strange.
With Your Money, You Have Everything You Need.
With Our Money
You Want To Live Like The Rich And Famous.
I've Never Seen It That Way.
You Learned An Important Lesson Today, Didn't You?
I Learned That When I Enter The Real World
I Don't Want To Do Business With Anyone In My Family.