I'm Sorry, But I Couldn't Pass Up This Shot.
Clair, There's Something On Top Of My Body.
I Think It's Alive.
Go In The Kitchen-- Be Quick About It.
Get The Giant Spatula.
How Did You Two Get Into This Position?
I Don't Know.
I Know That Earlier Today
Rudy And I Had A Disagreement About A Cookie
And She Became Enraged, And She Attacked Me
And We Fought For Hours
Until We Passed Out.
I'm Sorry I Keep Coming Home Late
But That Case Is Finished.
Things Should Return To Normal.
You Know, Rudy Never Attacks When You're Home.
Get Her To Bed, But Don't Wake Her.
"Don't Wake Her"?
Watch This.
You're Saying, "Don't Wake Up This Child."
This Is The Child On The 4th Of July
We Sat Up Front
They Exploded $2 Million Worth Of Firecrackers
She Never Budged.
Brass Band Played Right In Our Faces
She Never Budged.
We Drove Her Home
Took All Her Clothes Off
Put Her In The Bathtub, Gave Her A Bath
We Did Her Nails
And I Think We Took Out Her Appendix.
No, You Don't Have To Worry About That.
I'll Put Her To Bed.
You Got A Lovely Dinner Waiting In The Kitchen.
You've Made Dinner Three Nights In A Row.
And?
Every Meal Has Been An Adventure.
Tonight
I Want You To Get Ready
To Visit The Island Of Trinidad.
♪ Tabooga ♪
Hey!
♪ Tabooga ♪
Hi, Theo.
How's It Going?
How Come You're Making That Sandwich?
Didn't You Enjoy Trinidad?
It Was Great.
Dad's Cooking Is Delicious.
I Just Wish He Wouldn't Tell Us What's In It.
You Know He Likes To Experiment.
Yesterday I Had Something I Really Enjoyed
Until I Found Out It Was Possum Back In A Bean Curd Sauce.
What Did He Say This Is?
I Wouldn't Let Him Tell Me.
You Still Hungry?
No. I Just Want To Eat Something I Know.
What's In That Sandwich?
Peanut Butter, Jelly, Liverwurst, Anchovies
And An Onion For Cleansing.
(Ring)
Huxtable Residence.
Frank.
No, I Don't Want A Settlement.
I Think We Have A Very Good Case.
Aha.
Hey.
Hi, Dad.
What Is That?
Peanut Butter, Liverwurst, Mint Jelly, Anchovies
And An Onion For Cleansing.
Boy.
Take That Thing Up To Your Room And Eat It.
We're Not Allowed To.
Yeah, But Nobody Will Know The Difference.
Thanks, Dad.
You Promised To Take This To Trial.
I Feel Very Strongly About This.
If You Have To Drop The Case
Please Send The Work You've Done So Far To Me.
Thank You.
♪ Tabooga ♪
So Who Was That?
That Was Frank Simmons
The Attorney Who Was Handling Sondra's Case.
Was Handling The Case.
He Wants My Daughter To Settle Out Of Court.
We Don't Want To Do That.
The Mechanic Ripped Her Off.
Somebody Should Nail His Hide To The Wall.
Settling Out Of Court Is The Easy Way Out.
We're Talking About A Guilty Man.
He's Probably Ripping People Off Night And Day.
When's The Trial?
In Three Days.
Sondra Comes Home Tonight.
So Who's Going To Handle The Case?
I Can See By The Flaring Of The Nostrils...
That This Poor Man-- Mechanic-- Who Ripped Off Sondra Huxtable
Is Now Going To Face The Wrath
Of Clair...
Ptoing! Toing!
"Colt Kirby" Huxtable.
I Got A Lot Of Work To Do.
Yeah.
Oh, This Is Good.
Yeah.
What Is It? Chicken?
Hmm-Mm.
Well, It's Not Veal.
No, No.
Lamb.
Wrong.
See, I Was In Bazar's, And I Saw This Jar--
It Had Green Sauce.
You Know The International Gourmet Restaurant?
Mm-Hmm.
And It Was Sliced Turtles' Feet
And I Said To Myself
I Said, "Now, This Is Very, Very Interesting."
So I Took...
You Want Some Crackers?
Well, Where You Going?
Upstairs To Get Some Of Theo's Sandwich.
Now, Miss Huxtable
Would You Please Tell The Court
What Mr. Wilson Said
After He Examined Your Engine For The First Time.
I Have The Perfect Strategy
For This Mechanic Fellow.
Let's Forget About The Trial
And The Three Of Us Go To His House And Beat Him Up.
Please Take Vanessa And Rudy
To The Museum Or Somewhere?
I Have A Feeling
If They're Around, They'll Disturb Us.
Thanks For Your Help, Daddy.
Now, Miss Huxtable
Let's Start From The Beginning.
Kindly Tell The Court What Mr. Wilson Said
The First Time He Saw Your Engine.
He Said It Only Had 1,000 Miles Left In It.
Don't Say "He."
Say "Mr. Wilson"
Because This Tells The Judge We're Showing Respect
To This Guy We're Getting Ready To Nail.
Mom, This Is Great.
Rudy, Come On.
We're Going To See The Dinosaurs.
I Don't Want To.
Why?
'Cause They're Big And Scary.
They Are Not Scary.
Do You Know I Happened To Just Go By The Museum?
I Went In, And Do You Know What The Dinosaurs Said To Me?
"Doctor Huxtable, Where Is Rudy Today?"
No, They Didn't.
What If We See Something Else Like The Prehistoric Man?
Who's He?
These Are People That Lived Thousands Of Centuries Ago
Called Cavemen.
Were They Afraid Of The Dinosaurs?
They Used To Keep Them As Pets.
But They Didn't Stay Long
'Cause People Would Take Them For A Walk And Never Come Back.
Sometimes If The Kid Didn't Go To The Museum With The Parent
They Would Say, "Here, Take This One."
What Are You Doing There?
Are You Doing A Science Project?
Now You're A Pirate.
But They Used To Have The Brinosauromoreasises.
Say That.
Sinabrontomorisses.
No, No. The Brontasaurmormafizznasisses.
Bronta... Bronta...
Mona...
Yeah. Sorna...
Sornamiss...
Missas...
Missasissis.
That's Right.
And They Had The Plopasaurnamissasis
And He Talked Like This:
"Let's Go To The Museum."
Okay.
All Finished, Dad.
Well, Thank You For Helping
Keep This Place Shipshape
While Your Mother Works On Sondra's Case.
When You Use Navy Words, It Means I Have To Start Over.
Let's Put It This Way...
See, Dad, I Had Some Problems Getting The Sheets Smooth.
I Understand
Because It Looks Like There's Somebody Else Underneath It.
Don't Be Afraid Of Sheets.
You See, You Must Not Be Afraid Of Sheets.
You Move Quickly, Take Them Down.
Now Look At That-- Wrinkles.
Put Your Hand Like This.
Don't Be Ashamed.
Just Bring Them On Out.
Now You're Cooking.
Now, Sheets.
You Want To Snap The Sheets.
Snap, You Understand?
Snap!
I'll Give You A Hand.
That's It. Snap It.
Just Keep Working.
Smooth-- That's It.
You're Doing That On Purpose!
Now Look, You Finish The Bed, I'll Be Back For You On Tuesday.
Rudy, You Missed A Spot.
No, No, No, No.
This Is Not What I'm Talking About.
We Tried, But Rudy Begged Us To Let Her Mop.
Denise, You're Supposed To Swab The Deck.
Oh, No, He's Using Navy Words.
Daddy, Mopping's Theo's Job.
Theo's A Deck Above Making Beds.
I Make The Beds.
You've Been Promoted.
Seaman Rudy Huxtable.
Aye, Aye, Sir.
What Is This?
A Mop, Sir.
And The Proper Way To Mop, Since You All Don't Know
Is To Dunk It Into The Water, And Then You Bring It Up.
You Look At It, And Then You Don't Wring It Out.
You Gently Ooze The Water Out.
You Don't Put It Down And Move Things Like That.
That's What Theo Does.
And That's Why Theo Is Making The Beds.
You Take The Mop, You Do It The Navy Way.
You Twirl It Around-- Blap!
See How Beautiful That Is?
Then You Thrust Your Hip Forward.
You Shovel, Throw It Out, Then You Turn And Then You Slap.
Let That Dirt Know That You're Coming After It.
So Throw The Hip Forward, Shovel, Turn, Slap!
Come On, Do It.
In Unison: Shovel, Turn, Slap!
Shovel,Turn, Slap!
Shovel, Turn, Slap!
(Impersonating Julia Child) And We Grate The Cheese.
And You Really Don't Have To Worry About Cheese...
Aha!
Come Here.
Just The Person I Want To See.
A Little Taste Test Here.
I'll Wait Until Dinner.
Fine.
Dinner!
Come On Down! I Know You're Up There.
All Right, Come On.
Are You Hungry?
In Unison: No.
Good, Sit Down.
I Know You're Hungry.
All Right.
Step Up Here.
What Is It Tonight, Dad?
French? Italian? Chinese?
Right.
Mmm, Smells Great.
We Know The "Smells Great" Trick.
In Unison: Eww.
How Can You Eat That?
Go Away To College For A Long Time.
You'll Eat Anything Home-Cooked.
Rudy!
In Unison: Eww!
What's That?
Cow's Tongue.
I'm Getting Out Of Here.
Wait, Wait, Wait.
I'm Just Using This For Flavor.
Good. I Don't Want To Taste Anything That Can Taste Me.
Next He'll Have Bats Flying Around Here.
What Time Is It?
2:00.
I Love It When You Practice Law In Your Pajamas.
I Wish I Had More Than Three Days To Prepare This.
This Man Has Been Sued Twice
And Has Gotten Off.
That Was Before He Faced Clair Huxtable.
Clair "Colt" Huxtable.
Can I Come And Watch?
It's Just A Civil Case.
It Won't Be That Exciting.
Not Exciting!?
You're Going After Him With Both Barrels.
I'll Be Prepared.
You Sit There Talking With That Cool Attorney Talk.
Now Tell Me, Just What Is In Store For Mr. Wilson?
Mr. Wilson Is Going To Get Exactly What He's Got Coming.
I Like Your Style.
Why Don't You Take A Little Break?
I Can't.
You've Got A Lot Of Tension In You.
I Do Not.
I Felt It In Your Lips.
I've Really Got A Lot Of Work To Do Here.
Want Me To Give You A Back Rub?
No, I Really Have Some Things To Attend To Here.
Don't Do That.
Your Back Rubs Are Lethal.
If You Rub My Back, I'll Fall Asleep.
I'll Give You An Arm Rub.
Want An Elbow Rub?
Stop That.
I'll Tell You What.
I'd Love A Back Rub When I'm Finished.
How Long Is All This Going To Take?
About An Hour.
I'll Probably Fall Asleep By Then.
If You Do, You Die.
I Better Stay Awake.
No, Sir, I Never Have.
Thank You, Mr. Wilson.
No Further Questions, Your Honor.
Your Witness, Counselor.
Mr. Wilson, How Long Have You Been In Business?
Six Years In May.
Have You Ever Made An Unnecessary Repair?
Absolutely Not.
I'm An Honest Man. I Never Cheat Anyone.
Just Answer-- Yes Or No?
You Come To A Lot Of These?
Once In A While.
I'm Here Every Day.
Are You Aware That In The Past 18 Months
27 Complaints Have Been Filed Against You?
Objection. Counsel Is Defaming The Character Of My Client.
Objection Overruled.
People Are Always Griping About Mechanics.
You Might Say We're A Lot Like Lawyers.
That's Amusing, Mr. Wilson.
He's Going To Pay For That One.
Want A Bite Of My Orange?
No, Thank You.
I Generally Bring An Apple
But The Clerk Says I Make Too Much Noise.
Mr. Wilson
What Percentage Of Your Business Involves Engine Replacement?
I Guess 20... 25 Percent.
She's Setting Him Up.
In Six Years
One-Fourth Of Your Customers Had An Engine Removed.
You Must Have Storage Problems.
We Keep Some Of Them
And Others Go To The Junk Dealers.
She Just Drew Blood.
I Hear You.
You Replaced The Plaintiff's Old Engine With A Rebuilt Engine
Purchased From Olympus Engine Company.
This Invoice States
That The Serial Number On The Rebuilt Engine Is Rn7294938.
Is That Correct?
If That's What It Says.
I'd Like To Submit This Invoice As Exhibit A.
She's Sharp.
Not Bad Looking, Either.
Where Do You Find The Engine Serial Number?
On A Metal Sticker Riveted Onto The Engine Block.
She's Going In For The Kill.
Is This An Engine Sticker?
Yeah.
When I Removed This
From The Rebuilt Engine You Placed In Miss Huxtable's Car
I Found Another Serial Number Underneath
That Was Imprinted On The Engine Itself.
That Second Number Matches
The One On The Car's Original Bill Of Sale.
Mr. Wilson Has Charged Miss Huxtable
For An Engine He Never Replaced.
Your Honor, Can I Take A Five-Minute Break Here?
YouCan't Ask For A Recess.
Defense Requests A 15-Minute Recess.
This Court Stands Recessed For 15 Minutes.
What Does This Mean?
It Means We're About To Win.
That's Some Kind Of Woman, Man.
I Think I'm Going To Ask Her Out.
I Don't Know, Man.
She Probably Has A Big Boyfriend.
I Can't Help Myself.
I'm Going To Ask Her Anyway.
Pardon Me?
I Really Enjoyed The Way You Handled That Case.
Thank You.
When Did You Graduate From Law School?
Last Year.
Do You Have A Boyfriend?
Would You Like One?
If The Right Guy Comes Along.
Would You Have Coffee With Me?
Okay.
Then Maybe After Coffee We Could Get Married.
Okay.