1 00:00:56,329 --> 00:00:57,497 Hey. 2 00:00:57,497 --> 00:00:58,851 Hey, Sis. 3 00:00:58,851 --> 00:00:59,923 You Going Somewhere? 4 00:00:59,923 --> 00:01:02,921 No. I Spent The Weekend At Cockroach's House. 5 00:01:02,921 --> 00:01:06,626 You Didn't Even Notice I Was Gone. 6 00:01:06,626 --> 00:01:07,920 But Welcome Home. 7 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:09,924 Come See Something In My Room. 8 00:01:09,924 --> 00:01:11,918 I Hate Going In There. 9 00:01:11,918 --> 00:01:13,366 I Cleaned It Up. 10 00:01:15,835 --> 00:01:17,503 It DoesLook Better. 11 00:01:17,503 --> 00:01:19,572 What's Up? 12 00:01:19,572 --> 00:01:20,921 This. 13 00:01:20,921 --> 00:01:22,675 Theo, An Earring! 14 00:01:22,675 --> 00:01:23,918 Shh! 15 00:01:25,511 --> 00:01:27,926 I Had It Done Friday After School. 16 00:01:27,926 --> 00:01:29,927 That's Great! It Looks Fantastic! 17 00:01:29,927 --> 00:01:33,925 It Says I'm Old Enough To Make My Own Decisions. 18 00:01:33,925 --> 00:01:35,721 Your Ear Looks Red. 19 00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:38,920 If I Want To Put An Earring In My Ear 20 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:40,226 That's My Business. 21 00:01:40,226 --> 00:01:41,494 It Looks Puffy. 22 00:01:41,494 --> 00:01:42,927 When People See This 23 00:01:42,927 --> 00:01:45,924 They'll Know They're Dealing With A Man! 24 00:01:45,924 --> 00:01:48,267 Let Dad Look At It. 25 00:01:48,267 --> 00:01:49,735 Let Who? 26 00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:50,919 Ooo! 27 00:01:50,919 --> 00:01:52,505 I Think It's Infected. 28 00:01:52,505 --> 00:01:53,673 It Is? 29 00:01:53,673 --> 00:01:54,926 Where Was It Done? 30 00:01:54,926 --> 00:01:56,776 In Cockroach's Garage. 31 00:01:56,776 --> 00:01:59,712 You Let Cockroach Pierce Your Ear? 32 00:01:59,712 --> 00:02:01,347 I'm Not Crazy. 33 00:02:01,347 --> 00:02:03,849 It Was His Sister, Tootsie. 34 00:02:03,849 --> 00:02:05,451 Tootsie's In Junior High School. 35 00:02:05,451 --> 00:02:07,920 She Does This On The Side 36 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,523 And She Only Charges 99 Cents. 37 00:02:10,523 --> 00:02:13,693 If Dad Doesn't Look At It, It Will Get Worse. 38 00:02:13,693 --> 00:02:15,695 This Is Just An Ear. 39 00:02:15,695 --> 00:02:18,921 If Dad Finds Out, My Whole Body's In Danger. 40 00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:21,921 I Didn't Say You Could Come In Here. 41 00:02:21,921 --> 00:02:23,569 I Don't Want To. 42 00:02:23,569 --> 00:02:25,571 What Are You Doing Here? 43 00:02:25,571 --> 00:02:27,740 Denise Is Here. 44 00:02:27,740 --> 00:02:31,921 If You Are In Theo's Room, Something Is Up. 45 00:02:31,921 --> 00:02:33,920 Nothing's Up, Vanessa. 46 00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:36,920 Okay, But You Know I'll Find Out Anyway. 47 00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:38,920 I Have My Ways. 48 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:17,823 Cliff! 49 00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:18,824 Yo! 50 00:03:27,867 --> 00:03:29,702 Just Having A Little Taste. 51 00:03:29,702 --> 00:03:31,923 This Pie Is For Your Parents. 52 00:03:31,923 --> 00:03:33,472 My Folks Won't Notice. 53 00:03:33,472 --> 00:03:34,807 They Did Last Time. 54 00:03:34,807 --> 00:03:35,574 How? 55 00:03:35,574 --> 00:03:38,778 When We Cut Into It, It Was Hollow. 56 00:03:38,778 --> 00:03:41,447 My Folks Aren't Coming Here To Eat. 57 00:03:41,447 --> 00:03:43,783 They're Coming To Spoil The Children. 58 00:03:43,783 --> 00:03:46,552 What Do You Expect? They're Grandparents. 59 00:03:46,552 --> 00:03:47,918 Right. Grandparents. 60 00:03:47,918 --> 00:03:51,918 These Are Not The Same People I Grew Up With. 61 00:03:51,918 --> 00:03:55,394 They're The Biggest Hypocrites You've Ever Seen. 62 00:03:55,394 --> 00:03:58,918 My Father Comes In, Goes Into His Pocket 63 00:03:58,918 --> 00:04:01,400 Pulls Out A Handful Of Money. 64 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:04,570 "Let's See If Granddad Has Any Money 65 00:04:04,570 --> 00:04:06,605 For These Wonderful Children." 66 00:04:07,918 --> 00:04:09,423 This Is The Same Man... 67 00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:13,184 When I Was His Child, I Would Ask Him For Fifty Cents. 68 00:04:13,184 --> 00:04:16,187 The Man Would Tell Me His Life Story. 69 00:04:16,187 --> 00:04:19,747 This Man Would Tell Me How At Age Five 70 00:04:19,747 --> 00:04:22,048 He Woke Up 4:00 Every Morning. 71 00:04:22,048 --> 00:04:25,218 Had No Alarm Clock, Had No Rooster 72 00:04:25,218 --> 00:04:27,841 Just A Sense Of Responsibility. 73 00:04:27,841 --> 00:04:29,041 Oh, Cliff. 74 00:04:29,041 --> 00:04:30,611 No, My Father 75 00:04:30,611 --> 00:04:35,036 Found A Job Milking 12o Cows. 76 00:04:35,036 --> 00:04:39,044 The Man He Worked For Had No Bucket. 77 00:04:39,044 --> 00:04:44,625 So He Had To Squirt The Milk Into His Hand 78 00:04:44,625 --> 00:04:47,036 Walk Eight Miles... 79 00:04:48,362 --> 00:04:50,864 Through Snow Up To Here... 80 00:04:53,534 --> 00:04:56,868 And My Mother Is The Same Way, Too. 81 00:04:56,868 --> 00:04:59,637 She's One Of The Sweetest People I Know. 82 00:04:59,637 --> 00:05:01,903 I Didn't Say She Wasn't Sweet 83 00:05:01,903 --> 00:05:05,905 But This Woman Comes Over Here To The House 84 00:05:05,905 --> 00:05:07,378 Kisses Every Child-- 85 00:05:07,378 --> 00:05:09,905 "Just Come In And Kiss Your Grandmother. 86 00:05:09,905 --> 00:05:12,383 "You're The Most Beautiful Children 87 00:05:12,383 --> 00:05:15,319 On The Face Of This Earth." 88 00:05:15,319 --> 00:05:17,903 But When I Was Her Child 89 00:05:17,903 --> 00:05:22,905 All This Woman Ever Wanted To Do Was Take A Stick 90 00:05:22,905 --> 00:05:26,900 And Ask God To Give Her Enough Strength 91 00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:29,900 So She Could Knock Us Somewhere. 92 00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:31,536 To This Day 93 00:05:31,536 --> 00:05:35,540 I Still Don't Know Where "Kingdom Come" Is. 94 00:05:35,540 --> 00:05:39,377 All She Is, As Far As I'm Concerned 95 00:05:39,377 --> 00:05:43,848 Is An Old Person Trying To Get Into Heaven Now. 96 00:05:44,908 --> 00:05:46,384 Daddy. 97 00:05:46,384 --> 00:05:47,585 Yeah, Dear? 98 00:05:47,585 --> 00:05:49,420 What Would You Do 99 00:05:49,420 --> 00:05:52,390 If Someone You Loved Swore You To Secrecy 100 00:05:52,390 --> 00:05:54,225 But Keeping That Secret 101 00:05:54,225 --> 00:05:56,901 Might Not Be Good For That Person? 102 00:05:56,901 --> 00:06:00,364 Is The Person Sworn To Secrecy In This Family? 103 00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:03,401 Yeah. 104 00:06:03,401 --> 00:06:06,537 Is The Secrecy Juicy? 105 00:06:07,538 --> 00:06:08,900 Yeah. 106 00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:10,374 Tell It. 107 00:06:11,843 --> 00:06:13,211 If I Tell You 108 00:06:13,211 --> 00:06:15,313 This Person Will Hate Me Forever. 109 00:06:15,313 --> 00:06:16,907 You Have To, For Their Own Good. 110 00:06:16,907 --> 00:06:18,902 I'll Give You A Clue. 111 00:06:18,902 --> 00:06:21,901 That Way, You'll Figure It Out For Yourselves. 112 00:06:21,901 --> 00:06:22,620 A Clue? 113 00:06:22,620 --> 00:06:23,902 Earlobes. 114 00:06:29,906 --> 00:06:31,462 Earlobes! 115 00:06:31,462 --> 00:06:32,902 What About Earlobes? 116 00:06:32,902 --> 00:06:34,632 All I'm Saying Is 117 00:06:34,632 --> 00:06:42,500 Does Everybody In This House Have Two Healthy Earlobes? 118 00:06:49,627 --> 00:06:51,262 (Knocking) 119 00:06:51,262 --> 00:06:51,966 Who Is It? 120 00:06:51,966 --> 00:06:52,964 Dad. 121 00:06:52,964 --> 00:06:54,539 Hold On. 122 00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:01,446 Okay, Come In. 123 00:07:03,962 --> 00:07:05,283 What's Happening, Dad? 124 00:07:14,325 --> 00:07:16,965 ♪ Never Gonna Clean It Up ♪ 125 00:07:19,430 --> 00:07:21,399 ♪ No Matter How Messy It Gets ♪ 126 00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:24,302 ♪ You're Never Gonna Clean It Up ♪ 127 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:33,745 Son? 128 00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:34,545 Yeah, Dad? 129 00:07:35,939 --> 00:07:39,617 There's No Music Coming Through The Headset. 130 00:07:39,617 --> 00:07:44,619 You Still Bopping To What's Left In Your Brain? 131 00:07:44,619 --> 00:07:46,583 Take The Headset Off. 132 00:07:46,583 --> 00:07:47,551 Now? 133 00:07:47,551 --> 00:07:51,623 Is There Any Reason Why You Shouldn't Take Them Off? 134 00:07:51,623 --> 00:07:53,123 Okay. 135 00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:12,142 Guys Sure Can Get Up, Huh? 136 00:08:12,142 --> 00:08:13,477 Yeah. 137 00:09:17,207 --> 00:09:19,443 Denise Told You, Right? 138 00:09:19,443 --> 00:09:21,624 Told Me What? 139 00:09:21,624 --> 00:09:23,624 About This. 140 00:09:23,624 --> 00:09:25,624 Is That A Decal? 141 00:09:28,085 --> 00:09:31,955 Have You Been Tagged By The Wildlife Society? 142 00:09:32,956 --> 00:09:34,158 It's An Earring. 143 00:09:34,158 --> 00:09:36,260 There's A Hole Through My Ear. 144 00:09:36,260 --> 00:09:38,462 Denise Says It Might Be Infected. 145 00:09:44,616 --> 00:09:46,370 Well, She's Right. 146 00:09:46,370 --> 00:09:48,616 It Is Infected. 147 00:09:48,616 --> 00:09:49,940 Come On. 148 00:09:49,940 --> 00:09:52,943 What Are You Going To Do To Me? 149 00:09:52,943 --> 00:09:54,623 I Am Going To Fix Your Ear. 150 00:09:54,623 --> 00:09:56,447 Then What? 151 00:09:56,447 --> 00:09:58,622 You Expecting Some Sort Of Punishment? 152 00:09:58,622 --> 00:09:59,621 Shouldn't I? 153 00:09:59,621 --> 00:10:01,452 Yeah. 154 00:10:10,624 --> 00:10:13,197 Can't We Do This Someplace Else? 155 00:10:13,197 --> 00:10:14,431 Why? 156 00:10:14,431 --> 00:10:18,268 Because This Place Is For Pregnant Women. 157 00:10:18,268 --> 00:10:21,171 I Have Four Daughters And A Son 158 00:10:21,171 --> 00:10:23,006 And Somehow I Thought 159 00:10:23,006 --> 00:10:26,343 You Would Be The One Without The Earring. 160 00:10:29,618 --> 00:10:31,621 Why Did You Do It? 161 00:10:31,621 --> 00:10:33,283 To Kids Today 162 00:10:33,283 --> 00:10:36,086 It's Sort Of A Sign Of Independence. 163 00:10:36,086 --> 00:10:37,620 Who's The Girl? 164 00:10:37,620 --> 00:10:38,489 Huh? 165 00:10:38,489 --> 00:10:42,059 Who's The Girl? 166 00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:43,494 Eunice Baker. 167 00:10:43,494 --> 00:10:44,561 You Love Her? 168 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:45,619 I Like Her. 169 00:10:45,619 --> 00:10:48,619 She Said I'd Look Good With An Earring. 170 00:10:48,619 --> 00:10:53,971 And So Now You Could Wind Up With Half A Head 171 00:10:53,971 --> 00:10:56,340 Because Of The Infection. 172 00:10:56,340 --> 00:10:57,941 That's All Right, Son 173 00:10:57,941 --> 00:11:00,944 Because What I Have In Store For You 174 00:11:00,944 --> 00:11:04,548 Is Going To Be Just Wonderful. 175 00:11:04,548 --> 00:11:05,622 What's That? 176 00:11:05,622 --> 00:11:09,386 I Imagine He Should Be Here For Dinner 177 00:11:09,386 --> 00:11:11,488 In Another Five Minutes. 178 00:11:11,488 --> 00:11:12,618 Not Grandpa. 179 00:11:12,618 --> 00:11:13,623 Oh, Yes. 180 00:11:13,623 --> 00:11:15,092 Oh, Yes. 181 00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:19,429 And Grandpa Is Going To Love To Hear About This 182 00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:23,267 Because Your Grandfather Is Like "The National Enquirer"-- 183 00:11:23,267 --> 00:11:27,037 He Loves To Hear The Untold Story. 184 00:11:27,037 --> 00:11:28,472 Maybe He Won't Notice. 185 00:11:28,472 --> 00:11:30,616 I've Fixed That Also, My Boy. 186 00:11:30,616 --> 00:11:32,616 We're Going To Make It 187 00:11:32,616 --> 00:11:35,279 So He Will See It Really Good. 188 00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:37,948 You're Not Going To Make This Easy. 189 00:11:37,948 --> 00:11:41,619 I Could Have Put Your Whole Head In A Sling. 190 00:11:47,686 --> 00:11:54,534 (♪Singing A Dirge♪) 191 00:11:54,534 --> 00:11:56,730 There Are My Boys! 192 00:11:59,239 --> 00:12:02,141 Take Your Time Getting To Me. 193 00:12:03,443 --> 00:12:05,808 When I Travel On 194 00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:07,711 You'll Be Sorry You Didn't Spend... 195 00:12:07,711 --> 00:12:10,189 More Time With Your Mother, Yes. 196 00:12:10,189 --> 00:12:11,189 Owww! 197 00:12:14,189 --> 00:12:17,721 Are You Still Delivering All The Babies In Town? 198 00:12:17,721 --> 00:12:18,855 Yep. 199 00:12:18,855 --> 00:12:19,856 Heathcliff. 200 00:12:19,856 --> 00:12:20,824 Yes, Ma'am. 201 00:12:21,791 --> 00:12:23,960 How Was The Trip Over? 202 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:26,896 Fine, Until We Had To Park. 203 00:12:26,896 --> 00:12:30,934 I Said I Would Pay For Parking In The Garage. 204 00:12:30,934 --> 00:12:34,189 At $8.50 An Hour? No, Sir. 205 00:12:34,189 --> 00:12:37,019 I Found A Large, Perfectly Legal Spot 206 00:12:37,019 --> 00:12:39,372 Less Than A Mile From Here. 207 00:12:39,372 --> 00:12:41,019 By Coming In Early 208 00:12:41,019 --> 00:12:44,027 Planting Himself At The Head Of The Block 209 00:12:44,027 --> 00:12:47,273 And Then Waiting For Somebody To Pull Out. 210 00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:51,728 Where Are You Going, Son? 211 00:12:51,728 --> 00:12:53,728 Come Over Here 212 00:12:53,728 --> 00:12:56,277 And Say Hello To Your Granddad. 213 00:12:56,277 --> 00:12:58,728 He Didn't Say Hello To Me, Either. 214 00:12:58,728 --> 00:13:00,048 Hi, Grandma. 215 00:13:00,048 --> 00:13:01,049 Hi. 216 00:13:02,728 --> 00:13:04,552 Hey, Grandpa. 217 00:13:04,552 --> 00:13:07,388 What Happened To Your Ear? 218 00:13:10,728 --> 00:13:13,328 I Walked Into A Door. 219 00:13:13,328 --> 00:13:16,397 I Do That Sometimes Myself. 220 00:13:16,397 --> 00:13:18,166 Go Help Mom. 221 00:13:18,166 --> 00:13:20,501 Grandma, Do You Want To Come? 222 00:13:20,501 --> 00:13:21,728 Sure. 223 00:13:22,728 --> 00:13:23,732 Excuse Us. 224 00:13:23,732 --> 00:13:25,206 Excuse Us. 225 00:13:26,729 --> 00:13:29,728 What Really Happened To Your Ear, Son? 226 00:13:29,728 --> 00:13:31,728 I Walked Into A Door. 227 00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:32,734 Come On. 228 00:13:32,734 --> 00:13:36,384 I Heard That Old "Walked Into A Door" Line 229 00:13:36,384 --> 00:13:40,121 From Your Dad Back In '49. 230 00:13:40,121 --> 00:13:42,090 I Got My Ear Pierced. 231 00:13:42,090 --> 00:13:43,728 On Purpose? 232 00:13:44,731 --> 00:13:46,728 Absolutely. 233 00:13:46,728 --> 00:13:51,532 Your Grandson Was Told By A Girl 234 00:13:51,532 --> 00:13:55,840 That He Would Look Good In An Earring. 235 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:59,539 So He Went To... Where Did You Go? 236 00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:02,535 Cockroach's Garage. 237 00:14:04,048 --> 00:14:09,187 Cockroach's Garage, And Had His Ear Pierced By... 238 00:14:09,187 --> 00:14:12,223 What Is The Name Of The Person? 239 00:14:12,223 --> 00:14:14,492 It Was His Sister, Tootsie. 240 00:14:14,492 --> 00:14:17,395 His Sister, Tootsie. 241 00:14:18,863 --> 00:14:21,833 Who Probably Lined Him Up Against The Wall 242 00:14:21,833 --> 00:14:24,538 And Threw A Javelin At 60 Feet. 243 00:14:24,538 --> 00:14:26,204 I Get The Picture. 244 00:14:26,204 --> 00:14:27,839 All Right, Then. 245 00:14:27,839 --> 00:14:31,532 I'll Just Let You Handle The Good Part. 246 00:14:31,532 --> 00:14:34,540 I Won't Come Down Hard On The Boy. 247 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:37,281 You Won't? 248 00:14:37,281 --> 00:14:39,851 Young Men In Love Do Crazy Things. 249 00:14:39,851 --> 00:14:41,085 When Your Father... 250 00:14:41,085 --> 00:14:42,353 Uh, Dad... 251 00:14:43,532 --> 00:14:45,022 No, No, No. 252 00:14:45,022 --> 00:14:46,307 It's Good For Him. 253 00:14:46,307 --> 00:14:49,643 It Will Make Him Feel Better. 254 00:14:49,643 --> 00:14:52,913 I'm Not Interested In Him Feeling Better, Okay? 255 00:14:52,913 --> 00:14:55,980 Sit Down. 256 00:15:01,455 --> 00:15:02,980 When Your Father... 257 00:15:02,980 --> 00:15:03,980 Dad... 258 00:15:03,980 --> 00:15:05,459 ...Was 15 259 00:15:05,459 --> 00:15:07,980 He And His Friend, Lex Thompson-- 260 00:15:07,980 --> 00:15:10,985 A Boy Who Was Left Back Twice... 261 00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:15,987 Decided They Would Straighten Their Own Hair 262 00:15:15,987 --> 00:15:17,805 In Lex's Cellar. 263 00:15:17,805 --> 00:15:19,473 What? 264 00:15:20,474 --> 00:15:22,983 That's Very Interesting. 265 00:15:22,983 --> 00:15:24,645 It All Started 266 00:15:24,645 --> 00:15:28,980 When He Took A Pretty Young Lady To The Old Earl Theater 267 00:15:28,980 --> 00:15:32,980 And Saw A Group Called "The Icicles" With Breezy Brown. 268 00:15:32,980 --> 00:15:35,789 Breezy Brown Had Straightened His Hair. 269 00:15:35,789 --> 00:15:39,460 Most Singers Straightened Their Hair Back Then. 270 00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:41,862 Your Father's Date Went Wild. 271 00:15:41,862 --> 00:15:43,530 Right Then, He Decided 272 00:15:43,530 --> 00:15:44,980 He Would Lose Her 273 00:15:44,980 --> 00:15:47,935 If He Didn't Straighten His Hair. 274 00:15:50,304 --> 00:15:52,806 You Did That For A Girl? 275 00:15:52,806 --> 00:15:55,843 One Particular Girl. 276 00:15:55,843 --> 00:15:59,313 In Those Days, People Used To Straighten Their Hair With 277 00:15:59,313 --> 00:16:01,980 A Solution Called Conkalene. 278 00:16:01,980 --> 00:16:03,751 It Cost Money 279 00:16:03,751 --> 00:16:06,787 And Your Father Was Flat Broke 280 00:16:06,787 --> 00:16:11,458 So He And Lex Mixed Up Their Own Solution-- 281 00:16:11,458 --> 00:16:16,463 Potato Peels, Corn Syrup, And A Touch Of Nitroglycerin. 282 00:16:18,799 --> 00:16:23,980 This Man, A Future Doctor 283 00:16:23,980 --> 00:16:26,989 Had It Poured Slowly 284 00:16:26,989 --> 00:16:29,510 Over His Head. 285 00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:30,711 What Happened? 286 00:16:30,711 --> 00:16:33,447 It Burned All My Hair. It Wasn't That Bad. 287 00:16:33,447 --> 00:16:36,784 He Shot Out Of There Like A Bolt 288 00:16:36,784 --> 00:16:38,619 Pushed Lex's Dog Aside 289 00:16:38,619 --> 00:16:41,922 And Stuck His Head In The Dog's Water Dish. 290 00:16:41,922 --> 00:16:43,989 You Must Have Liked ThatGirl. 291 00:16:44,989 --> 00:16:46,983 Whatever Happened To Her? 292 00:16:46,983 --> 00:16:49,530 She's In The Kitchen Now. 293 00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:53,801 You Burned All The Hair Off Your Head For Mom? 294 00:16:54,982 --> 00:16:56,980 Oh, My God! 295 00:16:59,980 --> 00:17:01,980 Let Him Be. 296 00:17:02,984 --> 00:17:04,812 Guess What? 297 00:17:04,812 --> 00:17:06,814 One Of These Days 298 00:17:06,814 --> 00:17:09,980 You're Going To Need Some Money. 299 00:17:11,980 --> 00:17:14,982 In That Case, Would You Tell Her? 300 00:17:14,982 --> 00:17:16,980 It Would Be My Pleasure. 301 00:17:16,980 --> 00:17:17,985 Clair? 302 00:17:19,980 --> 00:17:25,299 What Is The Craziest Thing That A Certain Young Man-- 303 00:17:25,299 --> 00:17:30,304 I'm Not Naming Any Names-- Did To Impress You? 304 00:17:30,304 --> 00:17:33,988 You Mean When Cliff Tried To Straighten His Hair? 305 00:17:35,983 --> 00:17:37,982 Daddy Did That For You? 306 00:17:37,982 --> 00:17:41,381 He Tried, But It All Fell Out. 307 00:17:41,381 --> 00:17:44,618 Thank You Very Much. 308 00:17:45,619 --> 00:17:48,388 You Remember That Kind Of Fondly? 309 00:17:48,388 --> 00:17:49,823 I'll Never Forget It. 310 00:17:49,823 --> 00:17:53,460 Theo, For The Love Of A Young Lady 311 00:17:53,460 --> 00:17:55,980 Has Done Something Foolish Himself. 312 00:17:55,980 --> 00:17:57,988 Promise You Won't Get Mad. 313 00:17:57,988 --> 00:17:59,986 Okay, I Promise. 314 00:17:59,986 --> 00:18:01,835 He Pierced His Ear. 315 00:18:01,835 --> 00:18:02,985 I'll Kill Him. 316 00:18:02,985 --> 00:18:03,989 Wait A Minute! 317 00:18:03,989 --> 00:18:05,982 He Made A Mistake. 318 00:18:05,982 --> 00:18:08,980 He's A Lot Like His Father. 319 00:18:08,980 --> 00:18:12,980 Many's The Time I've Pulled Him Out Of Trouble. 320 00:18:12,980 --> 00:18:16,980 But I Was Patient And Understanding And Tolerant... 321 00:18:16,980 --> 00:18:20,287 How Could You Tell A Story Like That? 322 00:18:20,287 --> 00:18:23,624 When Heathcliff Came Home With A Sizzling Scalp 323 00:18:23,624 --> 00:18:26,293 You Were Not Very Understanding 324 00:18:26,293 --> 00:18:30,631 Especially Considering The Matter Of A Certain Tattoo. 325 00:18:30,631 --> 00:18:31,532 Tattoo? 326 00:18:31,532 --> 00:18:32,633 Let's Eat. 327 00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:33,800 What Tattoo? 328 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:36,980 Dinner Won't Be Ready For A While. 329 00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:38,984 I'll Have Some Cheese. 330 00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:40,980 I Really Don't Think 331 00:18:40,980 --> 00:18:43,477 That Is An Appropriate Issue 332 00:18:43,477 --> 00:18:46,480 To Discuss In Front Of The Family. 333 00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:48,980 When Your Father Was Theodore's Age 334 00:18:48,980 --> 00:18:52,286 He Was Enamored Of Me To Such An Extent 335 00:18:52,286 --> 00:18:56,290 That He Had My Name Tattooed Across His Chest. 336 00:19:00,394 --> 00:19:01,989 He Did What? 337 00:19:01,989 --> 00:19:04,798 When I Heard What He'd Done 338 00:19:04,798 --> 00:19:06,980 I Was Enormously Flattered 339 00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:10,437 Until I Saw My Name Was Misspelled. 340 00:19:12,806 --> 00:19:15,642 As I Understood It, He Went To 341 00:19:15,642 --> 00:19:18,980 The Best Tattoo Man In The County-- 342 00:19:18,980 --> 00:19:20,681 "Hot Needle" Harris. 343 00:19:21,848 --> 00:19:27,980 It Was The Middle Of February, And Russell Had A Terrible Cold 344 00:19:27,980 --> 00:19:32,980 So When He Went To "Hot Needle" And Told Him To Write "Anna" 345 00:19:32,980 --> 00:19:36,980 His Nose Was Clogged Up, And It Sounded Like "Adda"-- 346 00:19:36,980 --> 00:19:38,932 A-D-D-A. 347 00:19:40,982 --> 00:19:44,304 My Chief Rival Then For Russell's Affection 348 00:19:44,304 --> 00:19:46,988 Was A Girl Named Adda Mae Ward. 349 00:19:46,988 --> 00:19:48,475 Oh, No! 350 00:19:48,475 --> 00:19:50,544 She Was A Little Girl 351 00:19:50,544 --> 00:19:52,985 Who Lived Down The Road 352 00:19:52,985 --> 00:19:57,980 And Thought The Sun Didn't Shine Until She Woke Up. 353 00:20:01,980 --> 00:20:06,627 Of Course, I Insisted That He Remove The Tattoo 354 00:20:06,627 --> 00:20:08,989 And That Left A Scar 355 00:20:08,989 --> 00:20:10,980 On His Chest. 356 00:20:15,980 --> 00:20:17,980 You Told Me 357 00:20:17,980 --> 00:20:23,980 That You Got That Scar In World War Two... 358 00:20:27,980 --> 00:20:33,981 Fighting Off A German Nazi Panzer Attack. 359 00:20:33,981 --> 00:20:39,068 That Was The Best Way I Could Think Of 360 00:20:39,068 --> 00:20:44,451 To Describe What I Went Through When Anna Saw That Tattoo. 361 00:20:44,451 --> 00:20:47,454 I'm Shocked. 362 00:20:47,454 --> 00:20:49,556 You Huxtable Men Are Crazy. 363 00:20:49,556 --> 00:20:50,758 Yes. 364 00:20:50,758 --> 00:20:52,740 But We Always Get Our Women. 365 00:20:52,740 --> 00:20:55,776 But Not Because Of The Things You Do-- 366 00:20:55,776 --> 00:20:57,307 Despite Them. 367 00:20:57,307 --> 00:21:02,776 Theodore, Welcome To The Club. 368 00:21:04,414 --> 00:21:06,583 The Three Huxtable Men-- 369 00:21:06,583 --> 00:21:11,421 Scar-Chest, Skinhead, And Hole-In-The-Lobe.