Dad, You Promised That When I Was 14
I Could Carve The Thanksgiving Turkey.
Yes, I Did.
First, You Start With This.
And Then, We'll See.
That's Not A Turkey. It's A Chicken.
Right! You Passed The First Test--
Knowing A Chicken From A Turkey.
I Don't Need This.
I've Watched You And Mr. Norton, The Butcher.
Let Me Carve The Turkey.
You've Got To Understand, This Is Tonight's Dinner.
Start With This And Practice.
You'll Know Everything About Cutting The Turkey.
Now, Get Your Utensils.
All Right?
All Right.
"Learning How To Carve..."
You See?
What We've Got Here...
Dad.
Carve, Not Hack.
You're Excited
Because Your Daughter's Coming Home.
No, I'm Not. Yes, You Are.
Our Firstborn Is Coming Home From College
And You're Excited.
I'm Not Excited, I'm Telling You
So Just Stop It.
Firstborn-- The Inquisitive One.
I Remember She Was About Four Years Old
And She Said
"Daddy, Where Do The Ducks Go When The Pond Freezes Over?"
Right Then And There I Knew She Was Smarter Than I.
She Asked Lots Of Questions.
Now She Can Answer Them.
Four "A"S And A "B."
Hey, Hey.
And Half Of Her Belongs To You.
Thank You!
Just The Feet.
Oh, Don't Try It.
Listen, Isn't She Late?
Please Calm Down.
She'll Be Here Any Minute.
I've Got To Check On Theo.
(Knocking)
Who Is It?!
Sondra.
Sondra Who?!
Sondra, Your Daughter. Remember?
The One Attending Princeton?
That's The One.
The One With Four "A"S
And A "B"? Yes.
What Do You Want?!
Daddy, It's Getting Cold Out Here.
The One That Calls Long-Distance?
Yes, Daddy.
And Asks For Money?
And The One Who Brought...
Step Aside A Second, Please...
Four Bags Of Dirty Laundry?!
Yes.
Daddy.
Let Me Look At You.
How Do I Look?
Like Trash.
How About Me?
You Look Like You Gained Some Weight.
I Couldn't Hide It, Huh?
What Did You Bring?
I Missed You, Daddy.
Of Course. Somebody Has To Bring In Your Dirty Laundry.
Sondra.
Oh, Mom.
Gosh. Let Me Look At You.
You Haven't Changed.
I Was Home Two Months Ago.
Seems Like Longer Than That.
Sondra!
Rudy!
I Made You A Turkey.
We'll Eat It Tomorrow.
It's A Paper Turkey, Silly.
Vanessa, You're Getting To Be So Big.
Wow, Your Hair!
Like It?
I Love It. Will You Do Mine?
Sure.
Nice Jacket.
Thanks. You Can't Borrow It.
I'll Loan You My Suede Boots.
Those Are My Boots.
I'll Lend Them Back For That Jacket.
Sis!
Hey, Theo!
You Smell Like Chicken.
I'm In Training.
Dad May Let Me Carve This Year's Turkey.
You're Moving Up.
You Know, It Really Moves Me To See
This Entire Family Here
Because We Can Each Take A Bag
And Get This Laundry Upstairs.
Let's Go.
Rudy, You Can Take More Than That.
Okay, How's This Year's Crop?
Terrific, But Even Better--
My Friends And I Decided To Go To Paris This Summer.
Paris?!
We Can Have This Apartment Real Cheap.
Oh, Paris Is So Romantic.
There's More To Paris Than Romance.
Like What?
I Want To Experience The Culture Like Some Great Writers Did--
Richard Wright And James Baldwin.
Have You Asked?
No. You're More In Touch With The Family Climate.
Who Do I Ask First?
Forget About Dad.
Get Mom On Your Side.
You Can Double-Team Dad And Have A Fighting Chance.
The Family Climate Hasn't Changed.
What Approach Do I Use With Mom?
Ask About Her Work.
Nobody Asks Mom About Work.
Then, When She's Feeling Good, Slip In Paris.
Great Idea.
Good Luck.
If You Get To Go, I'm Next.
Hi, Honey.
Want Some Hot Chocolate?
No, Thank You.
How's Work?
Fantastic.
Really?
I Won My Last Three Cases.
I Might Become A Partner.
That's Great.
What Do You Want To Ask?
What Do You Think About Paris?
I've Always Wanted To Go.
You Have?
Uh-Huh...
And So Do You.
For The Summer.
Some Friends Are Renting This Apartment...
Hey, Wait A Minute. Friends?
You've Met Michelle Stewart And Lisa Barnes.
What About This Apartment?
It's Michelle's Cousin's Apartment.
She's A Ballet Dancer.
Paris In The Summertime
With Girlfriends And A Dancer's Apartment?
Sounds Sensational To Me.
I Can Go?
I'd Love For You To Go.
But Wait!
Don't Get Too Excited.
There Is One Person Who Stands Between You And Paris.
If You Want The Golden Fleece
You Must Pass The Cyclops.
He's Cute, But Tough.
What Will He Do?
First He'll Say, "Aha."
Then, "Hmm, Interesting."
Then He'll Throw Every Excuse At You.
But Hang In There And Wear Him Down.
When Is The Best Time To Get Him?
We'll Strike Tomorrow Morning.
All Right.
Now.
One More Chance.
Here Is Your Turkey-Carving-Practice Cabbage.
Dad, That's A Cabbage.
Right.
You're Brilliant.
I Watched You Last Night...
And What You Did To That Chicken.
A Long Time Ago
Before You Were Born
I Prayed That God Would Give Me A Son
To Carry On The Family Name.
And You Were Born.
I've Watched You Do Things.
Many Times I've Wanted To Ask You
Not To Tell Anyone Who You Are.
Last Night Was One Of Those Times.
You're Supposed To Respect The Food.
You Understand?
Slice It In An Appetizing Manner.
(Imitating Julia Child) Let Me Explain To You
How You Should Slice A Turkey Properly.
You Take The Blade Gently In Your Hand
And You Slice Ever So Gently Following The Grain
Going Along The Contour Of The Bird.
Dad, Why Are You Talking Like That?
I Have No Idea.
Except It Just Makes Me Feel More Secure
When I'm In The Kitchen.
Now Try It, My Boy.
And Talk It Through.
(Raspy Imitation Of Julia Child) Follow The Natural...
...Contour Of The Bird.
Yes.
And Follow The Grain Of The Fowl.
Cut It.
Yes.
And Slice...
Excuse Me, Boys.
(Imitating Julia Child) Yes? Yes?
Cliff, Sondra Has Something She'd Like To Ask You.
You're Here To Tell Me She Has A Question?
Go Ahead, Ask Him.
What Do You Think About Me Spending The Summer In Paris?
Aha.
I Think It's Great.
What Do You Think?
Hmm, It's Interesting.
She Would Go With Her Girlfriends.
Lisa And Michelle.
Where Would You Live?
Michelle's Cousin Is Letting Us Rent Her Apartment.
(Popping)
What Does That Mean?
I Don't Know. It's New.
Have You Seen The Apartment?
No, But I'm Sure It's Nice.
Michelle's Cousin's A Ballet Dancer.
Paris. The People Expect You To Speak French.
I'm Taking French Next Semester.
I Don't Think That's Good Enough.
When An American Speaks French To A French Person
They Look At You
Like They Don't Understand What You're Talking About.
French People Made Up This Face.
Daddy...
I've Made Plans.
We Always Travel Someplace In The Summer.
This Summer, It's The Grand Canyon.
It's Part Of The Huxtable Tradition, And I Don't Think...
You Wouldn't Want To Break That Tradition?
Can I Call A Family Forum?
You Can't.
Only A Parent Can Call A Family Forum.
Okay. In That Case, I'm Calling It.
Denise! Denise!
Go Ahead.
You Can Laugh If You Want To.
Come On, Dad.
Family Forum.
Clair: Denise, Please Come Down Here.
We're Having A Family Forum.
What's A Family Forum?
Something Dad Invented To Settle Family Disputes.
You Have To Be Honest.
Everybody Gets A Vote.
Me, Too?
You, Too.
What's Going On?
Family Forum.
You Vote With Me
Or You Cut A Chicken For The Rest Of Your Life.
But, Dad...
Not Fair.
Clair: Okay.
Now Here's The Problem:
Sondra Has An Incredible Opportunity
To Spend The Summer In A World Famous City
And Your Father Says "No."
That Is Leading The Voters.
I Object.
Overruled.
Now, Denise
What Do You Think Of Sondra's Going To Paris?
It's A Wonderful Educational Opportunity
And I Hope To One Day
Follow In Her Footsteps.
You Call This Honest?
Denise, Be Honest.
It's Not A Wonderful Educational Opportunity
But I'dStill Like To Go.
She Should Go.
Clair: Vanessa?
Does This Mean No Grand Canyon?
We're Still Going To The Grand Canyon.
I Want To Hold A Family Forum
On Not Going To The Grand Canyon.
What Is Your Vote?
I Think It's Neat.
Me, Too.
Will You Bring Me A Shirt?
Of Course I Will.
That's Bribery.
Theo?
(Clucking Like A Chicken)
What Was That, Cliff?
Okay, Theo?
(Clucking)
I Pass.
No, No.
You Cannot Pass.
If I Vote The Way I Feel
Dad Won't Let Me Carve The Turkey.
You Have To Be Honest.
I Think She Should Go.
(Clucking)
Sondra?
You Know How I Feel.
Cliff?
I Want To Call A Family Caucus.
You Can't.
Oh, Yes.
There's No Such Thing As A Family Caucus.
You Don't Know The Bylaws.
They State That A Caucus Can Be Called
And We Are Going To Have A One-On-One Conversation
Because We Are The Two Disputees.
Let's Go.
Dad, I Have Never Heard About A Family Caucus.
That's Because I Made It Up.
I Just Want To Ask A Question.
Why Paris?
It's A Fabulous City.
Why Not St. Louis?
Dad, I Want To Experience A Different Culture.
Why Not Japan?
You'd Let Me Go There?
I'll Make The Reservations.
Dad, What Is Wrong With Paris?
No 20-Year-Old Single Woman
Should Be In Paris.
Paris Is Love In Bloom.
The National Drink Is Wine.
They Drink Wine With The Yogurt.
That's What Paris Is.
Old Men In A Beret Singing About Mimi.
There Is More To Paris
Than Old Men In Berets And Wine.
It Has Wonderful Museums And Bookstores And Art Galleries.
It Has History.
You're Going To Paris To Study History?
No, You're Going To Paris For One Thing--
To Party!
Not JustTo Party.
So You Are Going To Party.
You're Saying You Don't Trust Me?
Not Exactly.
I Just Remember When I Was 20
I Wanted To Go To Rio.
Why Rio?
Because I Saw This Movie Called "Black Orpheus"
And It Had This Woman In It.
Whew!
And The Carnival.
I Watched That Movie, And I Said
"I'm Going To Rio, And I'm Finding That Woman."
And I Didn't Care About Culture, History...
I Wanted To Find That Woman.
And I Wanted To Party.
Did You Get To Go?
No, But I Saw That Movie About 100 Times.
Don't You Wish You Had?
I Have The Chance, If You'll Just Trust Me.
Why Not Budapest?
(Both Laugh)
No, Dad.
Paris.
Omaha?
Paris.
Uh...
You'll Make Me Look Good In Front Of Your Mom?
Uh-Huh.
Say I Gave A Good Fight.
Yes.
Well, Have Fun.
Thank You, Daddy.
I Love You.
Of Course You Do.
Okay.
I Wish I Was 20 Again.
Would You Go To Rio?
Your Mother Wouldn't Let Me.
Mom!
Cliff, We're Waiting.
Cranberries.
That's Everything.
Cliff: Everybody Ready?
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Presenting The Huxtable Marching Band.
(Wild Cheering)
♪ Dee Dee Dee ♪
♪ Dee Dee Dee Boom Dee Dee Dee ♪
♪ Dee Dee Dee Da ♪
♪ Ah! ♪
♪ Boom Dee Dee Dee ♪
♪ Dee Dee Dee ♪
(Applause And Cheering)
Hey, Let Me At It!
First, A Round Of Applause For The First Lady Of Poultry
Clair Huxtable!
Yay, Mom!
This Is A Very Special Occasion.
We'll Now Take One Minute To Say Why We Are Thankful.
Denise.
I'm Thankful For This House
And I'm Also Thankful
That Daddy's Been Nicer To My Boyfriends Lately.
Thank You, Daddy.
Vanessa.
Mostly I'm Thankful
For Not Having To Play The Clarinet Anymore.
We're All Thankful For That.
And Rudy Wants To Say Something.
I'm Thankful For My Bear, Bobo
And My Friend Mary For Giving Me Back Bobo
And My Mother For Letting Me Sleep Over At Mary's House.
And For Popsicles.
All Right.
That's Wonderful.
I'm Not Finished.
I'm Sorry.
I'm Mostly Thankful That My Big Sister Sondra's Home.
All Right.
Thank You.
Thank You Very Much.
I'm Not Finished.
Wait...
Also...
Next Year, Okay?
All Right, Now, Sondra.
I'm Thankful That I Get To Go Away This Summer.
And I'm Always Thankful That I Can Come Home.
And Now...
The Lovely...
Clair Huxtable.
I'm Thankful That You Call Me The Lovely Clair Huxtable.
Wait, My Turn.
First, I'm Thankful That We're Almost Finished Being Thankful.
Second, I'm Thankful
That Dad's Letting Me Carve This Year's Turkey.
I Hope.
Sit?
There Are Many Things That I Am Thankful For
But The Six Most Important Happen To Be
Rudy...
Vanessa...
Denise...
Theo...
Sondra...
And Clair.
And Now...
We Are Going To Partake Of The Lovely Bird.
(Applause)
But Wait, Got Another Announcement.
(Groans Of Disappointment)
Never Mind.
Rudy: Let's Hear It.
Okay.
The Huxtable Tradition Has Always Been
That Cliff Would Carve The Turkey.
This Year I Am Thankful
To Look Upon The Face Of My Son
As He Carves The Turkey.
I Turn Over To Him "Old Hickory."
All Right!
Now Talk It Through.
Talk It Through.
(Imitating Julia Child) First, You Cut A Slice
Along The Grain...