Rudy, Come On.
Vanessa, Get Ready To Go.
Hi, Honey.
Come On, Rudy, Hop Down Here.
Hop, Hop, Hop, Hop.
Hop, Hop.
We'll Be Gone All Afternoon.
I'm Taking The Kids For Shoes.
These Seem To Be All Hopped Out.
Clear The Table
And Put The Dishes In The Dishwasher.
Bye-Bye.
Kids, Let's Go.
Bye-Bye.
I'm Going To The Schoolyard To Play Some Three-On-Three.
Check With Me For Some One-On-One Right Now.
You Borrowed $5.00 For Pizza, Said You'd Pay Me Back Today.
Oh, Yeah, Right.
No, No, No, No.
Where Is It?
The Pizza?
Dad, Why Are You Laughing?
I'm Laughing Because My Foolish Son
By Not Paying Me When He Said He Would
Is Now At My Mercy.
I Want To Show You A Little Chore.
♪ Ta Da ♪
Clear Off The Table, Put The Dishes In The Dishwasher.
Okay?
And Do It Right.
Then Can I Go?
Then You Can Live.
(Doorbell)
Theo!
Door, Too.
That's Right.
And Theo...
Do Me A Favor.
I Had A Rough Day Yesterday.
Every Child Born On The Face Of This Earth
I Delivered.
I'm Tired.
I Want To Rest
So Unless It's A Woman At The Door
With A Child Coming Out Of Her Shoulder
I Don't Want To See Anybody.
I'm Going To Watch Television, Take A Nap.
Understood?
Gotcha.
My Man.
Pretzels.
Potato Chips.
Oh, Nothing Else Left Except...
Nobody's Favorite-- Walnuts.
So Who Was It?
Grandpa.
But I Told Him He Couldn't Come In
Because You Were About To Take A Nap.
Say That Again.
I Told Him He Couldn't Come In
Because You Were About To Take A Nap.
Who?
Grandpa.
My Father?
Yes. Grandpa.
Dad!
Theo!
Is Something Wrong, Dad?
Sit Down.
That Was My Father?
Right.
You Recognized Him?
No Problem.
And You Shut Him Out.
You Should Have Said Grandpa Could Come In.
You're Not Stupid.
You're NotThat Stupid.
What Did You Say To Him?
I Said, "Grandpa, You Can't Come In
Because Dad's Tired And He Wants To Take A Nap."
What Did He Say?
Nothing. He Just Stood There Looking.
A Lot Like You Look Now.
No, No, No.
You Are Going To Have To Get Him Back.
Who?
Who?!
Grandpa.
Yes!
But He Lives In New Jersey.
Right!
And It's A Long Way On Foot, Isn't It?
And While You're Trying To Find Your Grandfather
With Tears Running Down Your Cheeks
I Want You To Ask Yourself A Question:
"Was It Worth It To Try And Make A Fool Out Of My Father
By Acting Stupid?"
(Ring)
Answer The Phone.
Hello?
Grandpa!
Give Me That...
Unless You Want To Slam It Down.
Hello, Dad?
Yeah, Well... No, Dad, Look.
I Didn't Tell Him To Do That.
No, Dad, The Boy Needs Help.
No, I... Look...
Where Are You?
Dad, Why Are You Staying Next Door At The Neighbors?
Dad, I'll Let You In, Too.
All Right, Now, Come On Right Now.
I'll See You In A Second.
Boy, That Kitchen's Going To Shine.
(Doorbell)
May I Come In Now?
Dad, Come On In.
I'm Sorry.
What A Pleasant Surprise.
I Didn't Plan To Come Today
But Your Mother Had Other Ideas.
How Is Mom?
You Know Your Mother-- Crazy.
Today I Tried A New Recipe-- Salmon Souffle.
It Was Delicious.
Your Mother Took One Bite And Threw It Out.
Then She Threw Me Out.
You Go In The Kitchen, You're On Mom's Turf.
When I Was Working, She'd Say, "You're Never Home."
Now She Says, "Don't You Have Someplace To Go?"
Don't IHave Someplace To Go?
I Was On The Road
For 11 Months Of The Year, Working Sleazy Dives.
Don't Go In Those Places.
No, No.
It Was Hard, But I Had A Mission...
Yeah.
A Better Life For My Son.
Yeah.
And Here You Are.
Yes, I Am.
Doing All Right.
Fine Profession, Beautiful Home.
Somehow, I Can't Help Thinking
That I Had A Hand In All That.
There's No Question About It.
Then Why Did You Lock Me Out?
Dad, I Didn't Tell The Boy To Lock You Out.
Am I Supposed To Be On Some Kind Of A List?
You Can't Be Getting All That Many Visitors.
We've Been Talking Together Now For Some Time.
No One's Come To See You.
They're Not Climbing In
Through The Windows And Doors.
Theo's Getting Back At Me For Making Him Wash The Dishes.
Let's Watch The Game.
Heard From Your Oldest Lately?
Sondra? She Called Last Night.
Doing Okay?
Four "A's" And A "B."
Four "A's" And A "B"? All Right!
Princeton.
Yeah.
She Like It There?
Oh, Yeah.
Where Is Your Second Daughter Going?
Denise?
She's Talking About Princeton, Yale, Talladega And Howard.
What About Hillman?
She Hasn't Mentioned Hillman.
You Know, I Graduated From Hillman.
My Father Put Me Through.
Worked His Whole Life As A Pullman Porter.
Rode The Line Between Altoona And Schenectady.
Saved All His Tips To Put Me Through Hillman.
Right.
It's The Oldest School In The State.
Started With A Field...
And A Barn.
And 20 Students.
Came To School In Wagons.
But From Humble Beginnings...
Yes...
Hillman Turned Out Students That Were Welcome
In The Finest Graduate Schools.
Sure, It's Small And It's Close-Knit.
Princeton May Be Your Alma Mater
But Hillman's Friend. Your Friend.
I Graduated From Hillman, Remember?
Dad, May I Take A Break Now?
Yeah, You Been Working Five Minutes Straight Now.
You Know Our Doorman, Don't You?
Hi, Grandpa.
How You Doing?
Nice Seeing You Again.
Nice Seeing You.
Where Are You Sending Him?
Hmm?
If He Picks Up His Grades, High School.
And After That?
On To Princeton.
Dad, Princeton Is A Fine School.
Yeah.
What's It Costing You?
It's Up There.
How Much? Ten?
A Little More.
And That's For Everything.
Well, You Know...
You Have To Pay For Books.
You're Paying $10,000, And You Don't Even Get Books?
What Do You Get?
You Get To Go To Princeton.
What's The Girl's Major?
She Doesn't Have One.
What Does She Do-- Just Wander Around The School?
No, Dad, She's Liberal Arts.
When She Graduates, What Does That Make Her?
Nothing, You See...
That's Why She's Going To College--
To Become Nothing.
No, Dad. She Doesn't Know What She Wants To Be, So...
What Happens When She Still Doesn't Know After Four Years?
Then She Gets To Come Back Home.
Do You Understand This?
He Is Spending Over $50,000
To Send Your Sister To College For Four Years
So She Can Come Home And Be Nothing.
You Can Do That At Hillman For $10,000.
And They Include Books.
Go To The Kitchen.
Why?
Because I Don't Want To See Your Face.
Denise!
(Knocking)
Denise.
(Knocking)
Hi, Daddy.
Stop.
I Don't See How You Can Wear These Electric Earmuffs
And Do Your Homework At The Same Time.
Music Helps Me Study.
What Is It You're Studying?
The French Revolution.
Oh, Rough Times.
No Headphones Then.
No Heads.
Come On Over Here.
I Want To Talk To You.
Colleges.
What Colleges Are You Interested In?
I Don't Know.
Princeton, Brown, Howard, Talledega.
What About Hillman?
Hillman?
Hillman? Ew!
Ew, Dad. Hillman?!
Yes, Hillman.
We Are A Hillman Family, Dear.
We Go "A Ways" Back.
I Know.
Your Great-Grandfather Put Your Grandfather Through Hillman
While He Was Working As A
Pullman... Pullman Porter.
Daddy, I Know The Tradition.
You Do?
Mm-Hmm.
With The Money That He Earned
From The Tips... From The Tips...
When He Was On The Line From Altoona To..?
Yeah.
S... I Know...
Huh? Go Ahead.
Sss. Schen...
...Ectady. Schenectady.
There's A Smile That Says, "I Know It."
I Got One Wrong.
You Don't Know The Tradition.
Why Not Go To A Better School If I Can?
Better School?
Hillman's Okay
But It's Only For Kids Who Couldn't Get...
What?
No One Else Would Take Them.
You're In Quicksand.
Do You Know I Graduated From Hillman
And Went On To One Of The Best Medical Schools In The Country?
Hudson?
I've Never Been Sued.
I Don't Want To Talk About This Anymore.
That's Too Bad, Because Grandfather Wants You Downstairs
And This Is All He Wants To Talk About.
Can't You Tell Him I'm Busy?
I Am Not Your Secretary
And Your Grandfather Feels
That He Has Something Important To Say To You.
I Think It's Right For You To Go Downstairs And Talk To Him
Because If You Don't, He Will Never Go Home.
Maybe He'll Get Tired Of Waiting.
MyFather?
My Father Loves To Tell A Story About The War
And How He Was In The Trench
And Had His Rifle Sights On An Enemy Pillbox
And All The Enemy Had To Do Was Come Out
And He Could Pick Them Off Right There.
And The Enemy
Knowing That He Was Up There
Decided That They Would Wait Until He Left
And My Father Sat There
With One Eye Closed And One Eye Open--
Never Blinked--
And He Waited
And Waited And Waited And Waited And Waited.
And The Enemy--
Figuring No Human Being On The Face Of This Earth
Could Wait That Long--
Finally Came Out.
And Grandpa Shot Them.
No, Because By That Time The War Was Over.
Daddy, I'm Going To Hate Going Down There.
Of Course You'll Hate It, Dear, But You Must Make Up Your Mind.
Do You Want Him Coming Up Here?
No. The Last Time He Was Here, He Poked Through My Closet--
"Why Does Anybody Need So Many Shoes?"
Wait A Minute.
I Said That.
Here We Go. Be Brave.
Daddy, He's Sleeping.
No, He Isn't.
His Eyes Are Closed.
That's How He Waits.
Go On. Talk To Him.
Grandpa?
Hey, Baby.
Oh! Hi. Were You Sleeping?
No. Every Closed Eye Is Not Sleeping
And Every Open Eye Is Not Seeing.
Remember That.
There's My Beautiful Girl.
Those Teeth Get Straighter Every Day.
Thank You.
Sit By Me.
Cliff.
Yes, Sir.
Go Away.
I Know How Important This Tradition Stuff Is To You
But I Have To Choose The College That's Best For Me.
Don't Go To Hillman Because You Have To.
Go For The Same Reason I Went--
The Same Reason My Whole Family Went--
The Same Reason Your Daddy Went.
Why Was That, Daddy?
I Didn't Have A Choice.
Why Would You Need A Choice?
I Mean, Be Honest.
Straight Out.
If You'd Had The Pick Of Any School
Which Would You Have Chosen?
Hillman.
Really? Why?
Your Mother Was Going There.
You See? That's...
It Wasn't The Institution?
No. My Wife Is An Institution.
What Was I Supposed To Do?
The Woman I'm In Love With Is Going To A College
Where Men Outnumber Women Eight To One.
Hillman.
Yeah.
And Not Just Any Old Men.
I'm Talking About Hunks.
What's The Name Of The Kid You Like?
Terry Johnson.
Yeah. He Would Have Never Made The Hunk List.
I Thought My Persuasive Arguments Got You To Go.
Yeah, Yeah. Persuasive Arguments--
"You Go Or You Die!"
No, I'm Afraid That
If My Wife Was Going To Hillman
I Was Going To Hillman
Even If It Meant Making My Father Happy.
That's Romantic-- Following Mom To Hillman.
Was She Flattered?
Your Mother Does Not Know Why I Went.
Tell Her.
Why?
I'm Saving It For When I Really Get In Trouble.
I'm Going To Tell Clair.
Maybe That's Why People Lock You Out Of Their Homes.
Nobody Tells Clair Ever In Life.
Am I Understood?
Finished, Dad. Again.
Okay.
I Cleaned Up.
I Rinsed The Dishes
Put Them Back In The Dishwasher And Turned It On.
You Put In Dishwashing Soap?
Dishwashing Soap!
Get Out Of Your Coats, And Go Straight To Your Room.
Yes, Mama.
What Happened?
Rudy Throws Vanessa's Book Out The Window.
Vanessa Tries To Throw Rudy Out The Window.
The Cab Driver Threw Us Out Of The Car.
How Are You, Clair?
I'm Great, Dad.
You Just Relax, Because I've Got A Story That Will
Make Your Day.
What Are You Talking About?
The Reason Your Husband...
What Are You Talking About?!
He Wanted To Go...
You Are Not Saying...
Your Husband Wanted To Go...
(Shouting)
Mom, What Are The Boys At Hillman Really Like?
Take A Look.
There Are Two Graduates In The Kitchen.
You Know What? They Are Worse Than Us.
They Better Stop, Or They Won't Get New Shoes.
That's Enough, You Two.
Let's Get Upstairs.
Is It True Guys Outnumber Girls
Eight To One At Hillman?
Seven Of Them You Wouldn't Want To Bother With
But That Eighth One... Oooh!
All Right.
To Hillman. ! To Hillman.
I Think You Got One This Time.
When She Found Out
That The Men-- Eight To One--
She Woke Right Up.
That's Good.
You Waited A Long Time.
Talk About Waiting. One Time, During The War...
Oh, No. I Said "Waiting."
The Enemy Was In The Pillbox, And I Was In My Trench
With My Sights Trained On Those Doors.
And You Never Shot Them.
No. By The Time They Came Out, The War Was Over.
I Told You That Story?
No, I've Never Heard This One.
Well, I Waited...
And Waited...
And I Waited...
And Waited...