[Catherine moaning] Yeah.
Yeah, right there.
- [moaning, exclaiming] - Uh-huh.
[panting]
[moans] You taste like me.
- [breathes heavily] Yeah? - Yeah.
I have to go back to London the day after tomorrow.
- Huh? - Do you have to go to Rome?
Why?
Why don't you stay a day longer? [breathes heavily]
- D-Do you want me to? - I would love it if you did.
Mmm.
[breathes heavily]
I would love to fuck you all night long tomorrow.
[breathing heavily]
[chuckles, breathes deeply] I-I guess I have to stay then.
Oh, my gosh.
[Jonathan chuckles] Wait.
- [grunts] - What?
[exhales shakily] Just wait. [breathing shakily]
[exhales deeply] What are you doing?
Just wait. Wait, wait.
[Catherine laughs]
[Jonathan laughs]
- [gasps] - No.
- [gasps] Yes.
- No. [chuckles] - Put them on.
- You're kidding me. - Come on. I'm changing my trip.
I think it's the least you could do for me.
You better keep these pictures to yourself.
- For my innocent eyes only. - Mm-hmm.
And Page Three.
- Jonathan. No, seriously. - [laughs]
During the day tomorrow, we're going to ignore each other.
It's gonna be sexy.
[chuckles] If I see you in your bikini, I don't think I'll be able to resist.
[Catherine] Well, you must.
And then later, at night, we'll come together and explode.
[shutter clicks]
And don't be getting friendly with Nicholas.
I don't want him telling his dad about Mummy's new friend.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at me. Look at me.
[shutter clicks]
Are you listening? This is serious.
We have to pretend we don't know each other.
What if I can't?
[Jonathan breathing shakily]
Then I'll have to kill you.
[Jonathan gasps]
[breathes deeply]
- Sexy. - [chuckles]
[Jonathan laughs]
Sit down.
Okay. And touch your breasts.
- [groans] - Yes.
- Now take off the bra. - I just put it on.
- Take it off. Please. - Mmm.
There we go. Okay, squeeze your boobs.
- What? - Squeeze them, like-- [sighs]
Yes.
Okay. Open your legs. Lean back. Open your legs.
[breathes shakily]
Okay. Um... [grunts] ...put your hand in your knickers.
[breathing shakily]
Yeah. [breathes heavily] Bring one finger in.
- [moans] - Touch yourself.
- [breathing heavily, chuckles] - [breathing heavily] Mmm.
[sighs] Come here.
[breathing heavily]
- [moans] - [breathing heavily]
- [shutter clicks]
What is this that I feel?
- [chuckles] Hmm? - [chuckles]
[scats]
[moaning]
[Jonathan] So hot.
Oh, yeah.
- [both moaning] - [Catherine] Fuck.
[narrator] Robert has to stop reading,
appalled by an intense feeling that troubles him.
The anxiety and anger piercing his stomach has found its way further down,
where the gash has swollen into an erection between his legs.
- Good book? - No. Um...
- Do you want another coffee? - Yes, thank you.
No, I mean, um, I'm fine, thank you.
Uh, could I have the bill, please?
- Yeah, sure. Be with you in a sec. - Thank you.
[narrator] He can only trust this printed word,
and there is enough of his wife in the book for him to recognize her.
It has also shown him things he had failed to see before.
She is a woman who has always got her own way.
Always done as she pleased.
[Brigstocke] When Jonathan died, Nancy shattered.
Her mind shrank into a small, dark thing,
and all she could think about was our son's absence.
[cawing]
It was about two months after his death
when I finally persuaded her to come for a walk.
She went upstairs to put on some clothes.
Nancy!
[refrigerator rattling]
Nancy, we should go now.
[water splashes]
[gasps]
Why did you pull me up?
[gasping] I wasn't trying to kill myself.
I just wanted to know.
[chokes]
I just needed to know... [gasps] ...what he felt.
[sobbing]
[sobbing] They said it was painless.
That he would have passed out before he died.
But how can they know that?
How?
How can they know that he wasn't in pain? That it didn't hurt him.
How could they know that?
Nancy, let's get you out of this cold water.
- How can they know? I hate you! - Come, come.
- [Brigstocke] Come on. [mumbles] - [gasping, sobbing]
Sit down, dear. There we go.
Oh, Nancy.
[breathing heavily]
Do you remember how vast that sea was?
Here we are.
[breathing heavily]
- I couldn't replicate it in the bath. - No. [grunts]
- I couldn't. - [shushes]
[sobbing]
He must have been s-so frightened. [whimpering]
[breathing heavily] Yes.
And so lonely. [cries]
[softly] Yes.
[fly buzzing]
[Nicholas] Mummy, I can't find Sandy!
[groans]
[grunting]
I found Sandy! I found Sandy!
Hi, angel.
Ew, it smells yucky.
[Catherine] Yeah, I think-- My tummy hurts. I think it was the pizza.
[Nicholas] Me too. I farted.
- [Catherine] You did? - From the pizza.
Can we get a dinghy for me and Sandy?
[Catherine] You want a dinghy?
For me and Sandy.
Everybody's already there.
Mrs. Stephenson from the Charity Commission left a message.
I gather from her assistant that she's very upset.
Oh, bollocks. Tell her I'll get back to her after the meeting.
- I need an Alka-Seltzer. - Will do.
[Robert] Um, sorry.
I was up very late last night reviewing all these documents.
Uh, now the charity trustees are getting grilled by the Treasury Select Committee,
and so our job
is to ensure that the way that the government aid was channeled
through some of the charity's projects is never perceived as dodgy.
Remember, worst comes to worst, incompetent is always better than dodgy.
- Hmm? Understood? - [colleagues] Yup. Yes, we have. Yes.
Okay, Charles, um, can you give us some updates on the ground please.
- Thank you. - [Charles] Thanks, Robbie.
So, um, the situation on the ground, it's--
[grunts] it's confusing.
The funds that we receive through that country are
not only subject to the governmental requirements...
[narrator] One of these charities is under intense scrutiny.
[Charles] ...that have been imposed...
[narrator] Robert is aware of the charity's wrongdoings,
but he needs to create a narrative that the law can support.
...subject to the governmental requirements but...
[narrator] He is glad to have people reporting to him.
He doesn't have to perform or speak,
simply observe, and he can just about manage that.
- Do you need anything else? - It's all right.
[employee 1] The exceptions that are already built into sanction legislation,
they could be applicable to us only if we prove specific...
[fizzing]
[Simon] Uh-- Because we don't know how long that voice is going to last.
It could-- It could last a week, you know?
That's the problem.
[narrator] The shock you felt when Robert confronted you
with the photographs slices through you again.
He wants you to be punished.
He thinks you deserve it.
We need to get back to work and reconvene later, okay?
Ca-- Catherine.
You know the headmaster who left Rathbone College
- right after Brigstocke was retired? - Uh-huh.
Well, they were friends at Cambridge. I've got a number for him.
[Catherine] Oh. There's no story. Just leave it.
[Jisoo] But should I give him a call?
Back off, Jisoo, I said there's no story!
Look, I'm sorry.
It's just there's no story there, okay?
Look, just forget it. Just forget Stephen Brigstocke.
- Do you want a cup of tea? - [Simon] Yes, please.
[sighs]
[narrator] You know you have concealed parts of yourself from Robert,
but you had not realized until now how much of him you didn't know.
He has allowed his anger to fill every space,
making him deaf to anything you might say.
- Everything all right, Cathy? - Yes. Yes.
All fine, good, thank you.
- They say, uh, moving home is... - Milk?
...more stressful than divorce, isn't it?
- Are you all right? - Absolutely. All good, thanks.
- Oh, no. You need to wait. - There you go.
- Right. Yeah, sorry. - Blocking the ladies'. Thank you.
[sighing]
[sighs]
[Emily] Robert Ravenscroft's office.
- Yes, Emily. Hello. It's Catherine. - Oh, Catherine.
Um, I just wondered if Robert's in the office at the moment.
Want me to fetch him?
Oh, no. I don't need to-to talk to him.
I just want to, uh, drop something off.
[Emily] He's around... [speaks indistinctly]
Oh, that's a relief.
- Shall I get him? - No, no, sorry. So silly of me.
Thank you so much.
- [Emily] Bye, Catherine. - [sighs]
[narrator] Your years of secrecy have helped Robert reach his guilty verdict.
Your misguided belief that you had a right to silence has condemned you.
[employee 2] Can you unlock the door please?
Oh! I'm s-- It's locked!
[Brigstocke] Nancy stopped working.
She couldn't face being with children anymore.
So I worked for both of us just to keep life ticking on.
[television chatter]
Nancy?
[Nancy] Look at these.
Look at these.
He was experimenting with that new camera I gave him.
- Look. [chuckles] - Oh.
They're really abstract close-ups, taken with the zoom.
Quite an eye. Hell of an eye.
[chuckles]
- Hmm. [chuckles] - What is that?
It-It-It's-It's me, you silly.
- It's-It's that bit. - Oh, yeah.
- Of course. Of course. Of course. - [chuckling]
[chuckles]
Hmm.
[chuckles]
I didn't know he was taking this.
Look. Sneaking up on Mother... [chuckles] ...reading her gardening magazine.
[chuckles] Mother getting up.
[chuckles]
- [Nancy laughs] Look at that! - [laughs]
[Nancy] Mother doing the washing up.
[laughs] Oh, more of me washing up. [laughing]
There are no pictures of me.
- Oh, he wasn't interested in you. - No, clearly.
Oh, I remember that one.
[Brigstocke] It pleased Nancy
to know that Jonathan had focused so much attention on her.
He always favored her over me.
Hmm. There's some contact sheets here.
[Brigstocke] I am sure that she had not developed
the film she'd found in Italy by then.
But I wonder whether it was these photographs that made her think about it.
She must have assumed she'd find more photographs of her.
There's a real spirituality to these.
[beachgoers chattering]
[Nicholas] So, I'll put this down.
I think-- I'm gonna have a dinosaur.
That one's gonna have--
- [breathing heavily] - [Nicholas exclaims]
And that one's gonna have a lizard.
That one's gonna have... [speaking indistinctly]
[Nicholas] There we go.
[laughing]
[Nicholas] I'll save you. [exclaims]
[Nicholas] There you go.
What's happening?
[shutter clicks]
[exhales deeply]
- [in English] Nicholas. Nicholas... - Yeah?
...this lady's gonna watch you. I'm just gonna go to the bathroom.
So you're going to the loo?
- I'm just gonna go to the bathroom. - Okay.
[employee 3] ...gray area concerning the charity receiving governmental funds, but...
[speaks indistinctly]
[narrator] There's a throbbing mass in Robert's head, another in his stomach.
Dark lumps of something he has not felt for years...
jealousy.
He tries to push it away and focus on the present,
but all he can see is the past.
Sorry. To-- To make up for the shortfall.
With all due respect, Charles, there doesn't seem to be any...
[speaking indistinctly]
[narrator] The images of the photographs keep coming back to Robert's mind.
His wife's body on display for the enjoyment of others.
Catherine enjoying being looked at.
[narrator] He always knew that there had been others before him,
but he had always lived with the certainty that it was he who had made a difference.
It was he who had delivered Catherine such pleasure
that the memory of everyone else had been completely erased.
She had deceived him.
You've been a good friend to me.
If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have had my book published,
and I certainly would never have had the courage to start on my new novel.
Stephen, that's great. What's it about?
I-I have a character in my head.
I-I can see him. I can hear him.
Uh, I-I'm still at the research stage,
and I-I wondered if you might be able to help me with something.
I know you've already given me a lot of your time.
And so, I don't like to ask.
Oh, don't be stupid. Go on, ask away.
One of the characters is a teenage boy,
and I want to create a-- a Facebook page for him, a real one.
I mean, a-- a fake page for a fictitious teenager?
Uh... [stammers] Yes, I suppose so. [chuckles]
That's seriously creepy.
Uh-- [sighs, stammers]
No, no-- Uh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
There-There-There-There is method to my madness.
Uh-- Uh, he's not the main character anyway.
It's-- It's really about a-a-- a grandfather,
someone our age, and his relationship to the boy.
Mmm.
But I need to understand about the world
these kids disappear into when they go online.
What they talk about. What they like.
I mean, look at them.
What are they looking at?
[chuckles] I know what you mean.
[sighs] Maybe it's a bad idea.
But I-- I-I feel like such an imbecile around all that sort of stuff.
I-I was hoping you might be able to guide me through it.
An idiot's guide to Facebook
and whatever else young people use to communicate with each other.
It's such an alien world to me. [sighs]
Hang on.
You remember young Tommy who set up our website for us?
Oh.
Yeah, well, I think he's the sort of chap we need,
and he'll be able to help you out.
- [chuckling] - Oh, that's-- that's great.
Thanks again, mate.
[breathing heavily, moaning]
[Jonathan licking]
- [child 1 laughs] - [child 2 speaks Italian]
[Nicholas] Ooh. Yeah. Yahoo. Ooh.
Yahoo!
[Andrew] Now, some of this is obviously due to
a lack of invoice capability in the field,
uh, but it is 48.35% higher...
[narrator] And then, a question pierces Robert's mind.
Where was Nicholas while his mother was having an affair?
Was he in the next room?
Alone?
Was he asleep?
What did he witness?
How much did he see?
How much did he understand?
It could tie up all our loose ends and make up the difference costwise.
I mean, I think that's the way forward.
Robert, what do you think?
[Charles] Robert?
[narrator] Now he thinks he must look after Nicholas.
He must bring him under the protection of his wing.
There's a lot to think about. [sighs] Thank you, everyone.
[Emily] Robert, the Charity Commission--
[line rings]
- [Nicholas] Hello? - Nick. Nick. Hi, it's Dad.
Listen, I really enjoyed seeing you last night.
- Yeah. - Uh, are you-- are you free this evening?
There's something I wanna talk to you about.
Uh... [sighs] ...maybe.
Perfect. I'll pick you up later.
- Okay, bye. - Okay.
[narrator] He flicks through the pages of the novel in his mind.
Robert barely gets a mention.
He's portrayed as a minor character who doesn't even merit a name.
The husband.
[Brigstocke] I was wrong to assume that sorting through Jonathan's things
was a sign of Nancy's recovery.
If anything, she got worse after that.
[television chatter]
[Brigstocke] She refused to go out.
And for five years we lived like that,
Nancy and me, alone with our grief.
Jonathan's absence filled every instance, every space and every object.
I'm moving into Jonathan's room.
Say again.
I'm moving into Jonathan's room.
I need time by myself.
I respect that...
but can we please talk about this?
No.
[narrator] You stop at your local bookshop.
You want to kill some time in a place where you are admired.
You're afraid of what could be waiting for you at home.
- [Claire] Hey, Catherine. Hi. - Hi, Claire.
Congratulations on your award.
Hmm? Oh, thank you.
I was just wondering if the book, uh, I'd ordered had come in.
Uh, most of them arrived.
I think we're still waiting for
- the Ágota Kristóf novel. - Uh-huh.
Oh, by the way, thank you for that, um, Janet Malcolm recommendation.
- Oh. - That was, uh, fantastic.
Oh, um, that's-- that's a new book.
The writer was here this morning. It's self-published, but it's pretty good.
I think you'd like it.
It has this, um, awful, awful female character.
Oh, no, that's not all of them.
Oh, and, um, uh, I-I wanted to tell you about the uh-- the...
- Oh! [grunts] - I say. Be careful, you clumsy bitch.
- [brakes squeal] - [grunts]
- [breathing shakily] - Oy! You fucking... [speaks indistinctly]
[Catherine breathing heavily, moaning]
Yeah.
[breathing heavily, moaning]
- [moaning] - [panting]
[sighs]
[panting]
- No, no. Wait. No. - Huh?
- No, I have to go. - Why?
Nicholas is outside. I have to go.
[breathes heavily]
Wait for a minute before you come out, okay?
[pants] Um... [panting, stammers] ...I'm coming with you.
- What? [exhales heavily] - [pants] To London.
- [pants] Tomorrow. Same as you. - Why? Why?
[sighs] What do you mean why? To be with you, silly.
No, no, n-- Go to Rome. Go to Rome. [kisses] Go to Rome.
- I don't-- - Find new lovers.
- I don't want that. - Come on.
[breathes heavily] I wanna be with you.
[panting]
- Well, you can't. - [chuckles]
[sighs] Why?
Because-- You know-- Because-- Because of a million reasons.
I-- I have a husband.
[sighs] I d-- I don't care.
You-- You-- You don't have to leave him right away.
No.
This morning I learned I can fly from Pisa.
- You can't come with me. - Why not?
You know I would do anything for you.
Can we please just talk about this later?
There's nothing to discuss. I'm coming.
I know you want this as much as I do.
[sighs]
[sighs] I already bought my ticket.
- I'm flying back with you tomorrow. - No. No.
- [speaks indistinctly] - Nicholas.
Nicholas, where's the lady gone that was looking after you?
I don't know.
[in English] There's another whale.
There's another squid.
- There's anoth-- [grunting] - I'm gonna take a nap, okay, Nicholas?
Don't go anywhere.
Okay.
There's another shark.
There's another whale.
[Nicholas speaks indistinctly]
[refrigerator rattling]
[knocks]
[Nancy] What?
[Brigstocke] It's me, Nancy. I brought you dinner.
[Nancy] Leave it outside.
[sighs]
[Brigstocke] I could feel a foul smell coming from inside the room.
She had cancer.
She was in pain, but she endured it, relished it, even.
The pain had filled the space which Jonathan had left empty.
I cursed myself for having been so weak, for not having forced myself in.
She died a few months later, surrounded by decaying flowers,
and the photographs of our dead son.
[sighs]
[Robert speaks indistinctly]
[Nicholas] I think that's better than an American corporation
that just cares about merchandise.
I mean, what do they know about football?
[Robert] Right, it's just about whether the owner sells T-shirts or not, is it?
- You don't really care who owns it? - [Nicholas] No. Okay.
No, I just really want it all to be over and done with, to be honest.
We were really good at the start of the season and,
I don't know, something's different now.
- We almost lost to Luton the other week. - Well, yeah, yeah. Listen, you know,
we've definitely got trouble at the Bridge,
but I mean, it-- it's so important for the owners to have integrity.
Uh, Nick's, uh, come to keep me company while you're away.
What?
[Robert] I heard it's a really big story. You're gonna be gone for a long while.
[stammers] Don't-- Don't worry.
I-- I realized you'd be in a rush. I packed a bag for you.
- Robert-- - I should actually call you a cab,
so you're not late for the flight.
What's the story, Mum?
[stammers] Oh--
[Robert] Oh, your mother won't even tell me.
It must be a big exposé of hidden secrets.
Hi. Can I have a car for--
Do you want to go upstairs and check I've packed what you need?
78 Kingsgate Crescent. Four minutes?
Fabulous. No, that's great.
[narrator] Robert wonders if you blame Nicholas for your lover's death.
And if that is why it has always been so difficult between you and your son.
[Robert] ...you-- you think they've really just said...
[narrator] Robert has always covered up for you,
smoothed things over, always been there to support you,
trying hard not to make you feel guilty, never criticized you or judged you...
until now.
[sighs, breathes shakily]
Nicholas!
Mummy! Mummy!
Help! Help me! Help!
[screams]
Help!
[beachgoers clamoring]
[panting, grunting]
[gasps] Nicholas. [gasps]
[panting]
No! Stop! Help!
[spluttering, pants]
No! Stop it!
[gasping]
[pants]
[clamoring]
[pants]
[breathes heavily]
Help!
[panting]
[groaning]
[Catherine, in English] Nicholas! He can't swim!
[lifeguard, in English] Are you okay?
- Mum! - Yes. Don't worry.
[panting]
[sputtering, panting]
[Banks] Thank you, Mr. Jones.
[Banks] Thank you. Lovely service. It was a wonderful service.
[Brigstocke] Years before, we had purchased two plots at Kensal Green.
But Jonathan died before us
and was buried in the grave that should have been mine.
And Nancy was then buried next to him.
That's what she wanted.
I'll be buried alone.
[Robert] Your taxi's here.
- Oh. - [sighs] Robert. [breathes shakily]
Just gonna say goodbye to your mother.
[Robert sighs]
[pants]
Nick has read that book. You can't tell him--
That his mother is a liar and a hypocrite?
Oh, I am not.
- Everything all right? - [sighs]
Uh, yeah, everything's fine.
Your mum's just really upset about something at work.
Y-You know what she's like.
You're hurt. I understand.
No. No, I'm not hurt. This is about integrity, right?
My parents said that you had absolutely none of it,
but I chose you over them
because I foolishly believed that you were the most honest person I'd ever met.
- I am. I am. - Oh, yeah-- yeah?
Oh, you're honest, are you?
You didn't fucking tell me for 20 years that our son almost drowned, right?
He nearly died because you fell asleep after a fabulous holiday fuck.
- I fell asleep-- [stammers] - No, no! He nearly died.
I know I am wrong.
Yeah, but you didn't want the affair to be found out.
- It wasn't an affair. - You prefer for your lover to die.
[breathes shakily] I-- I wanted him to die.
[breathes shakily, sniffles]
You don't deserve us. Now, get out.
[whimpers]
Nick, say goodbye to your mum. She's leaving now.
Uh, bye-- bye, Mum.
- B-Bye, darling. - Come on. You're gonna miss the flight.
[breathes heavily]
[clamoring]
[speaks Italian]
Nicholas!
Get-- Get off me!
Nicholas!
Mummy's here.
Nicholas! Nicholas, are you okay? Nicholas! Nicholas!
[panting]
- [in English] You two okay? - Yes. Thank you.
[Catherine panting]
[panting, sputtering]
[in English] Help!
Help!
He-- Help!
[groans] Help!
Help!
[crowd clamoring]
[in English] Help!
[gurgling]
He--
H--
[grunts]
[clamoring]
[in English] Come on. Let's go.
[sirens blaring]