BLANK_AUDIO
BLANK_AUDIO BLANK_AUDIO
Happy birthday, thank you.
Happy birthday.
Oh, thank you.
Happy birthday.
Thank you.
BLANK_AUDIO
I don't care if every fucking young girl
in this fucking town
in the next few weeks.
Look, I made it simple.
We need her young.
We need her hot.
We need her now.
How the old bitch has been able to stick
around for this long.
That's the fucking mystery to me.
Oh, Oscar winner, my ass.
When was that back in the 30s?
What, for King Kong?
LAUGHTER
No, I don't give a
fuck what we promised her.
This is network TV,
not a fucking charity.
Find me somebody new.
Now.
BLANK_AUDIO
Hey, did you know that a woman's
fertility starts to
decrease by the age of 25?
How old is Jennifer?
You better get busy.
LAUGHTER
BLANK_AUDIO
It's like when you see
someone fart on screen.
People just love that.
I mean, that's just the way it is.
So you know what I mean?
People are just people.
And I have to give people what they want.
That's what keeps the shareholders happy.
And people always ask for something new.
Renewal is inevitable.
And at 50, well, it stops.
What stops?
What?
What stops?
Um, you know, the um...
The um...
Oh, George!
Oh, oh!
I'm sorry, I gotta run.
Harvey!
SCREAMS
George, those ratings are insane!
You're a genius!
Oh, what a mess. You're a genius.
That's why you'd be drinking.
Oh, that's hilarious.
MUSIC
Well, it's your lucky day, Miss Sparkle,
because we have
X-rayed you from head to toe,
and you don't have so
much as a crap molar.
So, you are good to go.
Uh, vaccination, okay?
Not going on a vacation.
By the way, I just want to
say, my wife is a huge fan.
Um, blood type...
Oh, hey, it's your birthday.
Happy birthday.
SOBBING
Oh, uh, that's an emergency, I'm sorry.
I, uh, had to have a...
SOBBING
Bye.
One moment.
It's just one last exam to perform.
I thought he said I was good to go.
MUSIC
Is there a problem?
No, it's perfect.
You're a good candidate.
I mean, are you good to go?
I wish you the best.
MUSIC
Lizzie?
Lizzie Sparkle?
Oh my God, I can't believe it.
Fred!
Fred, from 10th grade homeroom!
Oh, Fred, of course.
You haven't changed a bit.
You're still the most beautiful girl in
the whole wide world.
You know, I followed your career.
What a success.
I mean, wow, wow, wow.
Wow.
Hey, why don't we go out maybe for a
drink sometime now that
we're, you know, reconnected?
Um...
Oh, of course, I'm stupid.
You're super busy.
But you know what?
Why don't you give me your card?
I mean, you never help.
Um, sure, what I...
This will do.
Oh.
Don't look at my cholesterol levels.
They're a disaster.
Oh, God.
What is that?
There.
Now you've got it.
music
Have you ever dreamt of a
better version of yourself?
Younger.
More beautiful.
More perfect.
One single injection unlocks your DNA,
starting a new cellular
division that will release
another version of yourself.
This is the substance.
You are the matrix.
Everything comes from you.
And everything is you.
This is simply a
better version of yourself.
You just have to share.
One week for one and
one week for the other.
A perfect balance of seven days each.
The one and only thing not to forget.
You are one.
You can't escape from yourself.
music music
music
Yes.
Hello.
I'd like to order.
Address.
1057 Beverly Canyon.
Write this down.
35 North Byron Alley.
35 North.
phone ringing
coughing
water running
music
water running
coughing
water running
music
water running
music
dog barking
music
coughing
music
coughing music
coughing
music music
music
music music
music
music (ominous music)
(footsteps)
You are the matrix.
Everything comes from
you, and everything is you.
This is simply a
better version of yourself.
(clicking)
(ominous music)
(clicking)
(ominous music)
(crying)
(ominous music)
(clicking)
(groaning)
(ominous music)
(crying)
(ominous music)
(crowd chattering)
(ominous music) (ominous music)
(ominous music)
(ominous music) (ominous music) (ominous music)
(ominous music)
(ominous music) (ominous music)
(ominous music)
(clicking) (ominous music)
(ominous music)
(clicking)
(ominous music)
(clicking)
(ominous music)
(clicking)
(ominous music)
(clicking)
(whimpering)
(ominous music) (ominous music)
(water running) (water running)
Hello.
(ominous music)
(ominous music) (ominous music)
(clicking)
(ominous music)
(ominous music) (clicking)
(ominous music)
(clicking)
(ominous music) (ominous music)
(ominous music)
(clicking)
(ominous music)
(clicking)
(ominous music)
(ominous music) (ominous music) (sighing)
(ominous music)
(upbeat music)
(sighing)
Thanks.
We'll let you know by next week.
Thank you so much.
I'm just dying to get the part.
Great dancer.
Hmm, too bad her
boobs aren't in the middle
of her instead of the nose.
Next!
(ominous music)
Looks like everything sure is in the
right place this time.
Please say your name, age, measurements.
(upbeat music)
(ominous music)
I'm Sue.
(ominous music)
I'm Sue.
Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue.
Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue.
Where is she?
What a gorgeous little angel.
(glass clinking)
(ominous music)
You're hired.
(laughing) We want a show that's just like you.
Beautiful and happy.
People want to be happy.
(door banging)
We air in two weeks,
so let's get to work.
I'm gonna let you organize
the rest with my assistant.
(clicking)
Isabella?
Is-is-isis.
Who has time to say that?
We're gonna make you Cindy.
It's shorter, it's better.
So, I'm gonna let you
organize everything else with Cindy.
Oh, um, before you go,
I just have to mention
a small scheduling issue.
I have to be out of town every other week
to take care of my
mother, who's very sick.
(ominous music)
I want you for this
show, and we will work around
any mother, brother, fucking sick,
puppy you need to take care of.
Hmm?
Hmm.
(laughing)
Gorgeous, with a pure heart.
People are gonna love that.
(dramatic music)
(tapping)
(clicking)
(sighing)
Perfect.
(tapping)
(sighing) (tapping)
(sighing)
So you jump out, touch your elbows,
head down, contract.
And five, six, seven, eight, elbows.
(screaming)
(tapping)
(eerie music)
(tapping)
(eerie music)
(crashing)
(eerie music)
(screaming)
(coughing)
(panting)
(eerie music)
(crashing)
(eerie music)
(crashing)
(eerie music)
(water running)
(eerie music)
(screaming)
Where have you been?
I've all been wanting
to have a drink with you
for your departure.
Anyway, we all chipped in
and we got you just a little
something to keep you busy.
It's French.
My wife, she's for her spire.
Oh, I don't want my wife.
Oops, I gotta run.
But it's always great to see you.
(chuckling)
(eerie music)
(scraping)
(eerie music)
(eerie music) (scraping) (scraping) (eerie music) (scraping) (eerie music)
(eerie music) (scraping)
The antelope and the deer moving about
are going through the text.
(scraping)
(upbeat music)
(scraping)
(upbeat music)
The antelope with remotes.
I cannot believe the
incredible price for $49.98.
(scraping)
(eerie music) (scraping) (eerie music) (scraping)
(scraping)
(eerie music) (eerie music)
(scraping)
(eerie music)
(scraping)
God dammit, they have the phone
and it's such a great night.
Open up.
We gotta open up.
And uh, sorry.
I thought that Ms. Sparkle.
She moved out.
I'm the new tenant.
Sue.
Oliver.
You wanted to complain about something?
Oliver?
What?
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I think it's like
awesome when there's stuff
going on in the
building, you know what I mean?
Um, I'm actually,
quite handy if you ever need,
need me to be of aid in any way.
I got a sack of tools
and I got a big hammer.
You know what I mean.
(laughing) Anyways, I live right here,
so you know where to find me.
Anytime.
Day or night.
Later.
(ominous music)
(door creaking)
(ominous music)
Hi everybody.
I'm Sue and it's time to pump it up.
Are you ready?
Let's go.
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music) (upbeat music)
Thank you so much everybody.
I'll see you next week.
And in the meantime,
take care of yourself.
courtesy!
(cheering)
Wonderful, wonderful.
(applause)
(upbeat music)
I won't be out late, so just wait for me.
Don't eat too fast.
(engine revving)
(upbeat music)
(cheering)
(upbeat music) (upbeat music)
(upbeat music)
(gulping)
(upbeat music)
Are you all right?
Yes, I'll be right back.
(upbeat music)
(screaming)
Are you all right?
(upbeat music) (upbeat music)
What did you do?
You've seen me the more
beautiful than before.
(engine revving)
(gulping)
(screaming)
(coughing)
No.
(coughing)
(engine revving)
(dramatic music) (engine revving)
(gasping)
(dramatic music)
(engine revving)
(dramatic music)
(groaning)
(phone ringing)
Yes.
Yes, hi.
This is Elizabeth Sparkle.
I'm 503.
Yes.
Yes, hi.
There's been a slight
misuse of the substance.
A few extra hours were accidentally used
causing an alteration.
So I'm just looking for
the procedure to reverse it.
What has been used on one
side is lost on the other side.
There's no going back.
No, I don't know what she was thinking.
And obviously she was drunk.
Remember there is no she and you.
You are one.
Respect the balance
and you won't have
any more inconveniences.
(phone beeping)
(engine revving)
(dramatic music)
Don't you know
You got to pump it up
Don't you know
You got to pump it up
(engine revving) (dramatic music)
(bell ringing)
Sue!
Sue?
I just saw you on TV.
Holy moly.
Makes me want to join your class.
Hey, you don't give
private lessons, do you?
(laughing)
Hey, what about a
drink at my place tonight?
Come on, don't be shy.
I see you standing behind
the door there, gorgeous.
All right, take your
time, but it's a date.
You know, pump it up
You got to pump it up
You know, pump it up
You got to pump it up
(engine revving)
(dramatic music)
(gasping)
Sue.
(dramatic music)
(gasping)
(dramatic music)
What can I get you?
(dramatic music)
Moka Latte.
It's long, isn't it?
Excuse me?
Seven days.
(dramatic music)
Did you follow me here?
I was just curious to find out
how things were going for you.
Each time you feel a little
more lonely, don't you think?
I don't know what you were talking about.
I'm fine.
Everything's fine.
It gets harder each time to remember
that you still deserve to exist.
(dramatic music)
That this part of
yourself is still worth something
that you still matter.
Has she started yet?
Eating away at you?
(dramatic music)
(gasping)
Fuck!
Watch out!
What?
(dramatic music)
(engine revving)
Hey!
Move!
(engine revving)
(dramatic music)
You're still the most beautiful girl
in the whole wide world.
(phone ringing)
Hello?
Hi, Fred.
It's Lizzie.
Hello?
Sorry, I mean, I'm a chalk.
Oh.
Wow.
Wow, wow.
I thought I'd never
hear from you again after--
Oh gosh, no, no, not at all.
I just, I've just
been really busy lately.
So listen, I was thinking that
maybe we could get
together and grab a drink.
Are you still there?
Sorry, I'm in shock.
I'm in shock again.
I could book Luigi's at eight.
Eight in Luigi's?
It is.
I will see you tonight.
Bye.
Okay, bye.
(sighing)
(somber music)
(knocking)
(somber music)
(knocking)
(somber music) (knocking)
(glass shattering)
(somber music)
(glass shattering)
(knocking)
(somber music)
(sighing) (ominous music)
(ominous music)
(door opening)
(ominous music)
(grunting)
(ominous music)
(phone buzzing)
(ominous music)
(phone buzzing) (phone buzzing)
(phone buzzing)
(door opening)
(ominous music)
(door opening)
Hi everybody.
Hi.
Okay, here we go everyone.
Clear the set please.
First positions, thank you.
Roll cameras.
(beeping) And in three, two, one.
(electronic music)
Squat, squat, squat.
(upbeat music) Circle those hips.
(upbeat music) Contract, contract, contract,
contract, contract, contract.
(upbeat music)
Contract, between your legs.
(upbeat music)
Cut.
(beeping)
I'm sorry, I thought I, thought I, I,
I just got distracted.
Not a problem, let's
get right back to it.
Back to one please.
Sorry, it's the control room now.
The director said he saw something
bizarre on the monitor.
Bring up the replay on camera two.
Camera two.
(ominous music)
Forward.
(electronic beeping)
Can I have my dressing gown?
Sorry, it's in your dressing room.
But I go and get it.
Let's just take this frame by frame.
(electronic beeping)
I need five minutes.
(electronic beeping)
(screaming)
(panting)
(ominous music)
(electronic beeping)
Yes.
This balance is not working.
I barely have any time to enjoy myself
while she wastes seven days
stuffing her face in front of the TV.
Remember there is no she and you.
(electronic beeping)
(screaming)
I love everybody.
What's happening?
Where is everybody?
The TV's been canceled.
What, why?
Sue.
Harvey wants to see you
in his office immediately.
Okay.
I'll go change him.
No, he said now.
(ominous music)
(electronic beeping)
I'll get right to the bond.
We can't keep you on the morning show.
But why?
I just started.
Ratings are through the roof.
We started at 42.
Now we're up to like--
216.
It's phenomenal.
People love you.
They adore you.
They want more and more and more of you.
That is why we have
decided that we want you
to host the New Year's Eve show.
You mean the--
The network's biggest show.
50 million viewers live.
You can't go higher than that.
(laughing)
That's gonna be intense.
We only have a few more. So are you in?
(ominous music)
(door creaking)
If you don't open the
door and opportunity knocks,
you won't get another chance.
You of all people know this.
(ominous music)
(door creaking)
Just one more day and
then I have a whole week off.
We can switch.
(ominous music)
We're doing the cover of Vogue.
Just one more day, okay?
(ominous music)
(sighing)
(ominous music)
(gasping)
(screaming)
(ominous music)
Yes. She didn't respect the balance.
She's stealing more
and more time from me,
completely without
consideration of the consequences.
She's a selfish bitch.
Would you like to stop?
Stop.
You are the Matrix.
If you are not satisfied,
you can put an end to the experience
and go back to being
just you on your own.
Would you like to stop?
Will it go back to the way it was before?
What has been
transferred won't come back,
but you can stop the experience.
As of now, would you like to stop?
To go back to being just you on your own?
No.
No, no, no.
I can't stop.
She just--
I did it.
I did it. I did it. (door slams)
The balance just needs to be respected.
So respected.
(phone beeps)
Stop it, stop it, stop
it, stop it, stop it.
(ominous music)
You are the Matrix.
Well,
congratulations, you've won $25,000.
We're standing on our final chance
and it's your second question
in our big question
round and play for $250,000.
(audience cheers)
And you'll have just 45
seconds to come up to get
the correct answer that you can't--
(woman gasps)
(woman groans)
(woman gasps)
(woman groans)
(woman screams)
Just a little something to keep you busy.
(door slams)
Fuck.
Boss.
(ominous music)
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, she is here.
The superstar of the moment, Sue.
Are you ready?
Let's welcome her, Sue.
(audience cheers)
You popped up nowhere on
our screens like a tornado.
I don't think anybody was
really prepared for this world.
(audience cheers)
(thunder rumbles)
(audience cheers)
It all started with the morning show
and rumor has it that you are
up for Tom Grant's next movie.
(audience cheers)
Wait, just a moment.
I'm being told that you are going to host
the New Year's Eve show.
Can you confirm this?
Yes, that's right.
(ominous music)
Oh my God, that is huge news.
Tell us a little bit about yourself.
Where are you from?
How did you get discovered?
I want, we want to know everything.
(ominous music) Well, I mean, there's
really not very much to tell.
I'm just a girl from a
very small town in Indiana.
I'm sure that you've never heard of it.
In fact, it's not even a town.
I'm not sure you could
really even call it a village.
It's a farm, perhaps?
(audience laughs)
(ominous music)
But ever since I can remember,
it has always been my
dream to be on screen.
This is my dream.
As a child, I used to
put on shows for my family.
Mm, your family.
How sweet.
(ominous music)
So, everyone is aware that
you replaced Elizabeth Sparkle.
And no doubt about it, you stepped in,
you turned up the volume,
and you rocked their world.
Were you a fan of her show?
Um, well, well, I can't, uh,
I can't really say that I
actually watched her show.
You do know that we're not exactly from
the same generation.
(audience laughs)
And you have to admit, it
was a bit old-fashioned.
Jurassic Fitness, really.
(audience laughs) Jurassic Fitness, it needed a change.
(ominous music)
I'll fucking show you.
You really wanna see
some Jurassic Fitness?
You want it?
Come on, come get your
fucking Jurassic Fitness!
(ominous music)
But my mother was a huge fan of hers.
So, every morning, rain or shine,
Sparkle, your life, was on TV.
So, in a way, I grew up with her.
Whether I liked it or not.
(audience laughs)
I guess that's why you could say
we have some sort of connection.
Some sort of connection.
You wouldn't exist without me.
(audience applauds)
Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.
It is time, ladies and
gentlemen, for our final question.
The question that we ask each
and every one of our guests.
Okay.
(laughs)
Would you share one of your
little beauty secrets with us?
Just one little trick of yours
that helps you look
so incredibly stunning.
I mean, look at you.
I don't know.
Say it!
Let me think.
Say it!
Tell them who your
little beauty secret is!
I guess, I would just
show them right here.
Here's your little beauty secret.
I guess I just try to be myself.
To be sincere and
grateful for all that I have.
And to always remember
to leave with my heart.
Oh, I'm here at the sweetheart center.
(grunts)
I just, oh, I try to be myself.
(laughs)
Stop it!
Stop it.
You're taking it from me.
That's your little secret.
Stop it!
(grunts)
(whispers)
You have to control yourself!
(growls)
I can't go back, I forgot.
Oh, shit.
Gross old rat.
Stop it!
(growls)
(upbeat music)
(dramatic music)
Coming to bed?
Yes, I'll be right there.
(dramatic music) (dramatic music)
(phone rings)
Yes.
Hi, hi, this is emergency.
There's no more stabilizer fluid.
Hello?
It's fucking 503.
Yes.
Fuck!
I'm telling you, this is urgent.
There's no more stabilizer fluid.
It means you've reached the end.
(dramatic music)
What do you mean the end?
You've drained it all out.
If you want more, you must
let the fluid regenerate.
Tell me how to do it.
I need to stabilize myself right now.
You simply have to switch.
Excuse me?
The switch reboots the
fluid secretion process
so you can continue to
enjoy the experience.
No, no, no, no, no.
I can't switch, I can't.
Especially not now.
There is no other option.
(woman screams)
(woman groans)
(dramatic music)
Sue?
Babe?
Sue?
You all right?
Should I start out tomorrow?
(woman groans)
Babe?
Sue?
Is something wrong?
You look cranky because
you're related business.
(dramatic music)
Sue, open the door.
Come on, Sue.
Sue, funny, I need to take a picture.
Sue, open the door.
Open the door, Sue, come on.
(dramatic music) (woman gasps)
(dramatic music)
Come on.
(woman screams)
Guys!
What the fuck?
The fuck out!
Who's this? Who the fuck is that?
Leave me alone!
What the fuck?
Doorbell
Yes?
It's 503.
I want to stop.
Are you sure? Once you
stop, you can't go back.
I want to stop! I want to fucking stop!
I want to stop!
We'll deliver.
Panting
Speaking in foreign language
Screaming
Are you sure?
Once you stop, you can't go back.
You will simply remain on your own.
Just on your own.
Shut the fuck up! Breathing heavily
Music
Screaming
Okay.
I can't do this.
I need you.
I need myself.
You gotta get ready. It's our big night.
Come on. They're gonna love you so much.
Come on.
You're the only lovable part
of me. You have to come back.
You have to come back. Come back.
Panting
Okay. Okay.
Grunting
Come on.
Grunting
Come on.
Grunting
Gasping
Grunting
Gasping
Grunting
Gasping
Grunting
Screaming
Grunting
Screaming
Music
Screaming
Grunting
workout rumbling
minimumy revenues
rolls dice
(panting)
(screaming)
Oh, don't!
(screaming)
(crunching)
(grunting)
(crunching)
(crying)
(grunting)
(dramatic music)
(screaming)
(grunting)
(screaming)
(dramatic music)
(screaming)
(panting)
(crying)
(dramatic music)
You guys know what happened, makeup?
Here, we gotta get you the pinning room.
(beeping)
We have one final test on
stage, lighting a sound.
We have it in, I'll type it for the show.
You got it?
You good?
Okay, let's go.
(dramatic music)
Grab it.
One more.
(grunting)
There you go.
(dramatic music)
You good?
You gonna dance, lads?
(coughing)
I'm gonna be right back, sorry.
(dramatic music)
(coughing)
(dramatic music)
(grunting)
(dramatic music)
(screaming)
(dramatic music)
(barking)
(dramatic music)
(gulping)
(dramatic music)
(gulping) (gulping) They need to see you on
stage with the satellites.
(knocking)
(dramatic music)
(screaming)
Have you ever dreamt
of a better version of yourself?
More beautiful, more perfect.
Tim?
(knocking)
Yes, let me meet you there.
Okay, so I'll wait for you on stage.
(dramatic music)
(screaming)
(dramatic music)
Sue?
Let me introduce you to the shareholders.
They have been dying to meet you.
Is everything okay?
So smile.
(dramatic music)
That's what we want tonight.
Pretty girls should always smile.
(dramatic music)
(screaming)
Bathers, blathers, blathers.
(screaming)
(dramatic music)
(panting)
(dramatic music)
(panting)
(dramatic music)
(panting)
(screaming)
(dramatic music)
Hey, you ready for tonight?
(dramatic music)
(panting)
(dramatic music)
(laughing)
(dramatic music)
Would you be the
better version of myself?
Please give me a better
version of myself, please.
Please.
Come on.
(dramatic music)
Jesus.
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music) (dramatic music)
Looks like everything sure is in the
right place this time.
Please say your name, age, measurements.
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(water splashing)
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(crying)
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Pretty girls should always smile.
(dramatic music)
At last, we're starting to worry.
Hurry up, you're up in five.
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There she is, so beautiful.
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We love you.
(dramatic music)
This is where you belong.
You always belong here.
We can't do it without you.
We'll never do it without you.
Who would you replace them all?
Oh.
(dramatic music)
Girls, come on, let's go.
Let's go, what are we waiting for?
Okay, come on, everybody,
let's go, let's go, let's go.
(dramatic music)
You will not be disappointed.
She's my most beautiful creation.
I have shaped her for success.
(laughing)
Five, four, three, two, one.
(dramatic music)
(audience applauding)
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(screaming)
The monster!
(screaming)
Shoot the monster!
It's a freak!
The monster!
Don't be a bird.
Monster!
You're stupid.
It's real.
I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit.
(dramatic music)
Freak!
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Freak, monster, monster!
It's me.
(crying)
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I'm just kidding.
(screaming)
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Too bad her boobs aren't
in the middle of her face
instead of that nose.
(dramatic music)
Hmm.
Next!
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Pretty girls should always smile.
(dramatic music)
I have 50.
It stops.
(dramatic music)
(gasping)
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(crying)
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(gasping)
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(screaming)
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(cheering)
I love you.
You're a place of all.
(applause)
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