I have a double, so you're on your own tonight.
You're my hero.
- Where's yours? - In my bag.
Okay. Just making sure.
Okay. Have fun on your field trip.
Fun?
What's wrong?
- Nothing. - You're doing that withdrawn teen thing.
- What am I missing? - No, Mom. No, I'm not.
- You completely are. - Mom. I'm not.
Still in that thing with Tamra?
It's nothing.
You're being pulled in so many directions in high school.
Ever…
Your body is changing.
- Oh, my God, Mom. - It's normal,
- and it's okay... - Mom, Mom, Mom, stop.
I'm fine. Trust, please.
- Stop. - You know that I'm here for you.
I've been you. I am you. I'm here to help.
High school.
The drugs and the booze and the sex.
- It's like chemical warfare. - Jesus. Okay.
Please, try to have some fun.
- But make good choices. - Mom.
But make good choices.
Okay.
All right. Well, okay, good, 'cause I've seen some shit.
- All right, Mom. - Okay. I love you, Ever.
Love you, too.
Ever. What is this? Come on.
- What? - We're going on a field trip.
- Not to pinochle. - Is it too much?
Too much? It's nothing, Ev.
- Should I change? - No, we're late.
And changing would take forever ever, Ever.
Just get in, Grandpa.
Field trip!
- Oh, my God. - Let's get that extra credit!
Okay, you just, like, need less layers.
Like, show a little skin or something.
I mean, take this off, first of all.
- Oh, my God. Tamra! - What? You don't need a jacket.
- It's so hot out. - Stop. I'll unzip it.
You're super cute, okay?
You're just hiding under all this clothing.
- Shut up. - What?
Yeah, easy for you to say.
Easy for everyone to say. "Super cute."
It's two words.
- Wow. - It's two words. Yeah.
You have to let people see it, you know?
I mean, you just have to let Steven see it.
Shut up.
- You know. - I wish I never told you.
Oh, you know, Jacey taught me this really cool trick.
Oh, my God, I don't want to hear about your new friends.
They're not my new friends. We just have class together.
Ever's now pissed. Dude!
What do you expect me to do, like, be antisocial the rest of my life?
- How's that working out for you? - Tamra, please. Stop.
- Tamra, stop. I mean it. - We can try every once...
Tamra, stop! Stop!
Oh, my God!
He's dead.
- Is he dead? - No.
But let's make sure.
Are you okay?
You guys almost took me out!
- Randall? - There goes my good driver's discount.
I know. I'm sorry.
- We were just... - I'm so sorry.
- I totally didn't see you. - Yeah, I get that a lot.
- Whoa. - Oh, it's okay, Tamra. I just...
- I'm totally okay. - Are you sure?
You're…
- You're… - Randall.
Randall, right?
- You sure you're good? - Yeah.
- Couldn't be better. - Oh, okay.
- Sorry. - Oh, hey, let me help you.
Oh, don't. I got it.
I got it. Sorry.
- It's just fragile. Sorry. - Okay.
Yeah, no worries.
Hey, maybe sometime...
Oh, fucking bullseye!
Yes, bro.
Hey, what's up, Tammy?
- Hey. - Oh, my God.
Such a cute fit, babe.
- Right? Thanks. - What the fuck?
Oh, I'm sorry, man.
Hey, I didn't mean to hit you right there.
- What were you aiming at? - I was aiming for your head.
What? It's, like, funny. You got to admit it.
Fucking assholes.
Are you okay?
- Do you want a ride? - Ever.
There's no room.
Sorry. We have to go for the… Ever. Come on.
I'm sorry.
All right, principal's watching, guys. Phones in the bag.
We're gonna live inside the IRL, you know?
Communicate with each other. Thank you. Grazie.
If I say "grazie", you say "prego".
Thank you very much.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Wow. That is a death stare. Grazie.
You say "prego". You say "prego"!
- Hi. - Give it.
I don't have one.
Really? Still?
Yes.
Well, give my regards to 2006.
Go ahead.
Right this way, children. Whoa.
Give it. I know you got that flip.
Give it.
Phones in the bag, people.
Last call. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You, too, Wayne.
Come on, let's get the phone.
You should see your face. I'm just kidding, man.
Okay, go ahead. Captain on the bridge!
"You're Randall?"
Really? Like we haven't known him since sixth grade?
Whoa, what happened to you?
- You don't want to know. - Hey, hey, hey.
You're right. Give it.
I know he's weird, but he's...
Last call!
Damn, now that is nice tie-dye, Deadhead.
Speaking of sixth grade,
you know the first time I ever got tongue was on a field trip?
Yeah, because you tell me every time we go on a field trip.
Yeah, but have I shown you?
Stop! Stop.
Dude, you gotta stop sending nudes to this phone.
It's a work phone.
I just want to make sure you know how it works.
I mean, who knows? It could be your day.
Oh, come on, Ever.
Dude, dick pics are nudes.
That's my truth.
You should try black lipstick.
It would really bring out your bright, gleaming smile.
- You think? - Yeah.
Always happy to do charity work.
Are we okay?
Yeah. Sure.
Thanks for asking.
Yeah, you got it.
- See? - Stop.
- Super cute. - Don't.
This could really be your day.
Eyes front, children.
Something's wrong with you.
We are going to have some 4-H fun today...
Ryno, Rynomite! All right, let me have that phone.
And if you… Okay, no, there's not…
Just, can you just take a… Oh, God. Dude. Dude.
Okay. No fat shaming. It's frowned upon.
Just beach yourself anywhere, quickly.
We'll wait.
It's time to earn that extra credit.
That's right. We're going to be immersed in nature.
We're going to see some wildlife.
We're going to show some of you wallflowers
the perks of real flowers. And maybe, just maybe,
we'll plant the seeds of friendship
and bond like braces.
You know what I'm talking about, don't you, Candace?
So shy. Are you transmitting?
Try to keep it down to a thunderous roar,
and we'll get through this together.
The PTA requires it.
Hit it, Wayne!
Wait, I thought you weren't eating anything with a face.
Okay, you eat the face and give me the rest.
No, stupid.
Gummies are made of gelatin.
So?
You know, gelatin's made of bones.
Like, pig bones and cow bones and horse hooves.
Thank you.
Ew.
- Dude, just eat the faces. - What?
Be a vegetarian tomorrow!
What route are you taking, Wayne?
Wayne, you're going the wrong way.
Will you just get off my back and let me fucking drive!
Geez, Wayne. Language.
Oh, I'd hate to have to fucking write you up again.
You want to go? 'Cause we can go right now!
What the fucking... Jesus!
Hang on!
Hit the brakes, Wayne!
We're going down!
Wayne, you half-wit!
Can you do anything right?
Something hit the windshield.
No. You hit something!
It was clearly a tragedy, but let's just hope
he was a racist, so we don't have to feel bad.
Okay. Is anyone hurt?
I think she is.
Oh, gross.
Okay. Jacey, take a towel
or a jacket or something, and cover that up.
- Nobody needs to see that. - Aren't you a doctor?
Well, I mean, I'm a doctor of physical education.
It's not...
What the fuck is that?
There's somebody out there.
Oh, well, good news, Wayne.
It looks like you're not a murderer after all. Mazel tov.
Here, Jacey, for your nose.
It's all I have.
How bad is it?
It's…
Not that bad.
This message is transmitted at the request
of the United States Office of Civil Defense.
Take a battery-powered radio and essential supplies with you
to the nearest fallout shelter and seal the doors.
Stay on this broadcast for further information…
- Turn that down, Wayne. - I think this is important.
Just turn it down!
We are under siege by a chemical attack. Avoid affected areas at all costs.
- What was that? - I don't know.
I think he wants to come inside.
- Open the door. - You want me to open the door?
- Are you nuts? - Please don't open the door.
Open the door.
- I'm with the kids. - You should be with the kids!
He's clearly hurt,
and at least one of us needs to take some responsibility.
Maybe that's the difference between you and me, Wayne.
That and 70 to 75 pounds.
Watch and learn.
Are you all right, friend?
Maybe we should…
Go.
Do you have insurance?
- Go! Go! - Go where?
Go! Go!
Shit, shit, shit. Go. Come on.
Go, go!
Move it! Come on!
Go, go, go!
Danny, wait!
Come on!
Come on, Candace! Come on!
Danny, wait!
Candace!
Shit!
Candace, grab my hand!
- Come on! - I don't need your help.
Take it anyway.
Tamra? Tamra!
I just got these. Come on, man.
Tamra!
What was that back there?
- I don't know. Satan shit. - Where are we?
Tamra!
Ever! Come on!
Ever!
Thank God.
Hey we need to find help.
Hey, we gotta keep going. That guy was not normal.
Yeah, no damn duh, Factoid.
That alert message on the radio? We have to find cover.
Where? We're in the fucking Shire.
There. There's a building or something.
- I don't see anything. - Yeah, right there.
Guys, it's right… I see it.
Shit! Go! Come on!
- Let's go! - Come on!
Oh, this way! Turn!
Follow the hero, not the zero, dipshit.
- Hey, keep up! Keep up! - Wait for us!
Fuck! Fuck! Oh, my God!
Help me!
Take my hand, man. Help me, fuck…
Will you fucking help me!
- I'm gonna fucking throw up! - You got this, bro.
You got this.
Don't leave me!
Oh, babe.
Fuck! Ah, you fucking pussy!
- Hey, be quiet. - You be quiet.
Oh, that was a dead end. Where do we go now?
Go this way. Come on.
Stop shushing me.
- You want to go? - Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
- What's wrong with you? - I wouldn't be here right now
if I didn't need the fucking extra credit.
Okay, well, cheat off someone smarter next time.
I copied off of you.
Fuck.
Guys, maybe we should go left.
Wait, why left?
Because it's the only direction not making scary sounds, okay?
What is this place?
Oh, this is where the tweakers and thespians go
to huff paint and have existential crises.
We hit him with a bus, and it didn't slow him down at all.
No, and it sounds like there are more out there.
I know it's crazy, but given what we've seen...
Yeah, no, that emergency broadcast warning was national.
I mean, that's everywhere, everyone.
What'd they say? Seal the doors and windows and shit?
What does that mean for everyone back in town? Our families?
Okay, we don't even need to worry about that.
Okay, you know why? We're not in a goddamned comic book.
Okay? So, wet dreamers, wake the fuck up.
- We all saw what we saw. - Yeah, we saw a crackhead
looking to molest us, not a real-life Fortnite invasion.
Danny, what are you talk... That guy looked like
he was trying to eat Mr. Lorenzo.
Right, right. Can you explain something to me?
'Cause I just don't get this, right?
What is it with you shut-ins and your zombie fantasies?
Okay, I think Randall's right, Danny.
Something is very wrong here.
Oh, you think something's really wrong here? No fucking...
Let's pick it up, Blandall.
Hey. Hey.
Come on, almost there. All right?
This should do.
Get out of the door.
Well, I can't believe it, but I actually agree with the dweeb.
I can't believe I agree with the guy who smells like horse shit.
There's a lot of stuff everywhere.
Maybe we should just fan out and grab what we can and...
- Batten down the hatches. - Secure the structure.
Hey. We need to find weapons.
Yeah, you know what? He's right.
- Real men should do that. - Hey.
Lock it down. Nothing in or out.
- Except maybe you nimrods. - Come on, Tamra.
- Oh, Ever. - No.
I think we should stick together.
Yeah, so come on.
Everyone's going in different directions.
Let's go, Tamra. I'll bring her back.
Hey, Ever! Would you want to...
Oh, sorry. Would you just want to, like, check some stuff out upstairs or...
Why not?
Is this a weapon?
Can you swing it?
Come on, you even lifting, bro?
Come on, man. It was supposed to be leg day.
- Hey. - Hey.
Whoa! Watch the Dolces.
Oh, fuck.
Sorry. My bad.
- That's gross. - Yeah.
Is someone out there?
I thought I saw Ryan, but…
What about the other randos?
What? Who are you talking about?
The other randos.
Zits, Slenderman, Hairy, Brace Face.
You mean Candace?
Sure.
You know they have a nickname for you, too.
What?
Jump Street.
- Why? - I'll let you figure it out.
Incoming!
Out my way. Out my way.
Go, go, go.
Okay.
Hey.
- Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm all right.
- Let me look at that. - Okay.
Thanks, babe.
Yeah.
Yeah, you know I just want to keep you safe, right?
No, I get that.
Danny, why are you only sweet to me when no one else is around?
Well, look who's talking.
This place is so creepy.
I know.
It's like some crazy serial killer's secret lair.
No, I was just kidding.
This is just, like, some hunter's hangout for, like…
Hunting and stuff, like…
You know, for…
But if a serial killer were to pop out and try to get us,
I'd protect us.
Fuck him up big-time.
Now you sound like one of those meatheads.
Oh, come on, Ever.
I'm a D&D level 20 RAW wizard. I've been fucking shit up
since before they were trying to fill out their Little League cups.
I wasn't sure if I sold that line.
You sold it, Steven.
They just go...
Every single day, it's the same, like,
- "What's up, Big Head?" - I know.
"How's your big head?"
- They're so mean. - At this point, like,
I just hear their insults as just, like, beeping noises.
You know, like, they're not...
They're just, like, robots. They're not even humans.
They're just, like, a bunch of robots programmed to make my life suck.
Yeah, but that kind of gives them a pass, don't you think?
I mean, there are way worse coping mechanisms, right?
I'm sorry.
- I know it's tough. - You know, maybe they're onto something.
Being a good person is highly overrated.
Have we even tried bullying? It might be awesome.
Hey, it's just high school.
No, it's more than that.
It's a microcosm for life. People don't change, ever.
- You don't know that. - Oh, yeah?
Where's your bestie?
High school doesn't end.
It spreads.
Sorry about earlier.
It's just, like, things got all, like, murder-y and stuff, you know?
Right.
Since your car is a piece of shit…
You should just ride with us.
- Well, I drive Ever. - We only have room for one.
But you can sit with Hunt.
Whoo! Good find, Randy. Damn.
Well, all right.
It ain't up to code, but it works.
Bravo, baby.
Did anyone else hear that?
Someone help me!
I think it's Candace.
It's who?
Someone, please, help me!
Help me!
It is Candace.
Someone please help me!
Oh, shit, it's Braces.
Let's get her.
Let me go.
Hey.
He's gone.
- No. No, he's not. - Somebody, please!
- Help me! Somebody! - We can save her.
The fuck we will.
There he is.
Somebody please help me!
- What's he doing? - He's just watching her.
- Guys, we gotta do something. - No, we don't.
Slow gotta go. Hard truth, okay?
Ever, what if he follows her and gets in?
If you get us killed, I'm gonna be so pissed.
Come on, Tamra.
Please.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Somebody, please!
- I can't watch this. - Someone, please!
Please help me!
Help me, please!
Someone please help me!
Candace! Run this way! Candace!
Run!
- What the fuck did you just do! - Somebody help me!
Stop her! Hey!
Come on, Candace!
- Ever! - Come on, Candace!
Look out, Candace!
Help me!
Candace!
Get away from the door!
Holy fucking shit! Oh, my God!
Back!
Oh, my God!
Come on, come on!
- Come on! - Okay, close the door!
Here, here! Hold it! Careful!
Oh, fuck yes.
I think he's leaving.
No, no, I don't like when you try to think, Never.
- That's when people get attacked. - At least it gave her a chance.
Did Braces even make it?
We have to get away from this door in case it doesn't hold.
Feel around. There might be, like, a light or…
Got it.
This is some layaway rave shit.
I got you.
Zombie!
Dude!
- Jesus, fuck! - Shit!
- Wait, Ryan. You're okay. - Yeah. I think so.
- Really, dude? The fuck? - Are you all right?
I mean… No.
How the hell did you survive?
I don't know, Daniel.
What did you say?
Okay, you don't call me that. All right? You don't fucking know me.
No, I don't know you anymore.
- What does that mean? - Nothing.
Oh, please, please. Ryan, what did you see out there?
Before I left the bus…
I saw that thing.
It was thrashing everybody.
It got Juniper, Karlak, Wagoner, Matt.
I think that Candace might have made it.
She didn't get away.
I thought I saw that...
I thought I saw Wagoner out in the woods,
but he was just... He was different.
He was just thrashing around, and his arm was twisted and broken, and…
It was like he didn't even care.
And I tried to help, and there was too many of them.
- It's spreading. - Fucking zombies.
All right, can you shut up? There's no such fucking thing.
Well, then how else would you explain that?
Ryan.
Did you see where the others went?
I'm pretty sure that we lost 'em.
There's gotta be another way out!
Come on!
Ever, go! This way!
This way.
There's gotta be another way out. Come on.
Danny? Danny?
They're getting closer. We gotta do something. Come on!
Danny!
Come on.
Danny!
Danny, help! Come on!
I gotta go.
- Danny, what are you doing? - I gotta go. I gotta help him!
Get off!
Ever, come on!
You go. All right, you first.
- Go! Ryan, go! - No, I'll be right behind. Go!
Danny! Help!
Danny!
Hunt!
Go.
Go, go, go!
Okay.
Hey. Where's Hunt?
- I could've helped him. - Where…
I didn't.
That thing was there. There was too many of the others.
And they took him.
They took him from right fucking in front of me.
I could've helped him. I could've... I didn't save my friend!
Danny.
You stay away! Just stay the fuck away. You're bad fucking luck.
I am so sorry about Hunt. I am.
- You know, if there was any way... - I said stay away!
You don't give a shit!
And he fought for you!
And we did nothing for him! We did fucking nothing!
We deserve this.
- Danny, stop. - Look around.
This isn't random.
They chose us.
You don't scare me. You don't scare...
Leave us alone!
Randall?
Randall.
Hey, that was awesome.
Randall.
That was fucking amazing.
- You saved us. - I just reacted. I…
Anyone else would have done the same.
I'm just glad you're safe.
Holy shit.
Guys, look at all this stuff. Wayne was on everything.
I can't believe they let this guy drive a school bus.
Our district blows.
- Hey, we should keep moving. - Yes.
Okay? Right?
- You okay, babe? - It's fucking cold in here.
Babe?
Did anyone scratch or bite you?
Fucking junkie stabbed me with something. Inspect it yourself, you fucking larper.
Danny?
Look at that.
Are you feeling okay?
Danny?
I gotta go.
I think you just need to breathe.
Where you going?
I'm gonna save my friend.
That's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go save my friend.
Danny, don't go up there alone.
- Shut up. - Hey, Danny.
Hey, Danny.
Danny. Jesus Christ.
What we need is fire.
We gotta...
We gotta burn 'em all. We gotta burn 'em all.
- Babe... - Jacey, don't.
- What we need is fire. - Ryan.
- Babe. - Jacey, don't.
Hey. Do you want some water or...
- Or something? - Do you have water?
- No. - Fucking Christ!
I'm just trying to help.
Just trying to help, right? Just trying to help me.
Trying to help me feel guilty, yeah?
- Daniel. - Daniel's been gone since camp, Ryan.
So what, you just trying to make
- everybody know now? - Danny.
- You want everybody to know? - No!
I lost it all, Ryan!
Now I got a fat fucking reminder every fucking day!
Danny, let him go!
- You're hurting him! - No!
No!
- No! - Danny.
I changed fucking everything about myself.
I changed fucking everything so I didn't fucking vomit
every time I look in the fucking mirror.
Danny.
Don't fucking look at me!
Danny.
We're here with you, Danny. Please.
- We just want to help you. - Fuck you!
Oh, my God.
Is he dead?
Of course he's dead, Ryan. He just fell off the frickin' roof!
Steven.
I'm… I'm sorry.
Ryan.
He wasn't always such an asshole.
I just wish everybody else could've known that.
Wait.
What in the uppercase fuck was that?
How did he survive that?
If that doesn't convince you, I don't know what will.
If he just turns like that…
There was a whole bus full of kids. This is happening.
Is Danny gonna be okay? Are any of us?
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know, but I promise you I will do everything I can
to make sure that we are.
Okay? Okay?
I won't let anything happen to you, Tamra. Okay?
We can't go out there. It's not safe.
So we barricade the doors and let's just stay in here.
- Come on. - No. Then we'll just trap ourselves.
Guys, we have no food, no water.
We need help, and I think there is help out there.
There has to be.
What, but you just...
You just want to stay here and do nothing?
Whoa. Calm down, Ever. I'm just trying to protect us.
Yeah. That's all, I'm sure.
Well, what do you suggest we do, then?
Those things,
I say we draw them to one side of the building
and then slip through the other.
Go get your phones. Maybe the bus starts.
No, no, absolutely not.
Absolutely fucking not. It's dangerous.
Guys, come on, help me with the door.
Wait, who put you in charge, exactly?
- Ever. - What?
I am sick of no one listening to common fucking sense.
Absolutely not! I forbid it! No!
You know what? The great thing about this plan
is that I don't need your permission, Randall.
If you fuck this up, we can all die.
We have listened to you this whole day.
You've somehow always had the answers, so everyone went along with it.
But how's that working out for us?
Danny was right.
What we need is fire.
Wayne was good for one thing.
Oh, fuck!
- There is no back way out. - I'll make one.
Ever!
Ever! Ever! Stop! What are you doing?
Randall's right. You can't go out there.
Oh, so now you think we should stick together.
What? What are you talking… Wait.
Wait, no, that's not... That's not how it was at all.
Oh, you really don't get it.
Look, I'm just... I'm trying, okay?
Trying to do what? Be one of them?
- Sorry, I don't fit in that box. - Ever, whoa, whoa.
- That's not what happened. I... - Tamra!
This is not the time.
We don't know what's going on, we are cut off
from the rest of the world, and the one thing we should have…
Is each other's backs.
- Ever, come on. - No, just leave me alone.
You're good at that.
Wait! Ever, don't leave me.
Ever.
Ever, wait! Hold up! Hey, wait!
Just hold up! We gotta talk about this! Ever.
Ever, wait. Hey, hold up, hold up, hold up.
Seriously, we have to think this through.
I've been thinking it through all day.
I should've said something sooner.
- But Randall said... - I don't care what Randall said,
and you shouldn't, either.
But, just please don't go out there, okay?
- What if there's more... - Everything is a what if.
- I know, but just if... - What if I'm right?
Fine.
But I'm coming with you.
Okay.
Thanks for coming with me.
I was kind of scared shitless.
Yeah, I still am.
Sweet.
Okay, come on.
- Let's go. - Okay.
Here, I got you.
- Thanks. Okay. - Okay?
- Yeah. Here. - Thank you.
- It's fine. - Let's get you up here.
That's it. Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Oh, shit! Oh, my God. Oh, God.
Inside voices. Inside voices. Okay.
Hey, I am so sorry.
Okay. Gotta find the phones.
Oh, my God. Okay.
- Fuck. - What?
- No. No, no, no. - What?
They're all broken.
Fucking great!
Ever, I'm so sorry. This was a really good idea.
You say that now.
This is why I should just shut up
- and let other people... - What?
Oh, my God, no. No, no, no.
Don't say that. Oh, my God.
Why not? What have I ever done to justify anyone listening to me?
Clearly nothing.
I'm just nothing.
Look at me. My...
My hair, my clothes, my…
Even my best friend thinks I'm nothing.
I tried to save Candace twice.
Nothing.
My entire existence is just…
Nothing.
I mean, it could be worse.
How?
I don't know.
I was just trying to make you feel better. Now who's good for nothing?
Ever, I get what you're saying.
In your head, you think you're one thing…
And you try hard to be that thing. I mean, like, you try really…
Really, really hard to be that, and then you're just not.
And then all the insults, and the insecurities
and the names rush in when you try to be that way in public and you can't. I…
…I get it. I really, really get it. I do. I know.
I know.
I know you.
Is this when you kiss me?
- Wait... - What?
- No, it's just been such a long day,
- and... - And?
I lost my gum, and I ate a ton of dirt and mud earlier,
and I'm just really stinky right now.
- Steven. - What?
I might have puked a bit earlier.
That's great.
That's really great, 'cause…
Then we're basically in the same boat.
Pretty much.
- Do you still want to… - Yeah.
…even though…
- Wait. - Oh, my God.
- I'm sorry. You're... - No, no, no.
Look. The radio. The radio.
- What? What? - Come on.
Come on.
…these are combustible villas.
- I feel like I need a doggone priest! - I was right.
…tensions in the DMZ are finally beginning to calm as a once-torn nation…
This isn't everywhere.
This message is transmitted at the request of the United States...
I was fucking right.
It's a tape.
Someone set this up.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.
You weren't supposed to find out about any of this.
- None of this was supposed to happen. - You...
I'm so, so sorry. Please believe me. You're gonna be okay.
It's just a little bit. Just a half dose, and you're gonna wake up,
and it's gonna be okay. It's gonna be fine.
You'll forget about all this, and we can start over. It's okay…
Good job, Steven. Good job. You had to.
Hey, Van Allman, that's no hustle! That's a nap!
I'm not talking about changing the whole world.
I'm talking about changing a few people for the better.
You know who. People who make our lives a living hell.
What if we gave it back in a way that actually made a difference?
What kind of difference?
Remember the Scared Straight program?
Convicts and drill sergeants yelling at kids,
showing them prison life, awful shit, you know,
until they cry and promise they won't grow up to be assholes?
Yeah, but Danny, Hunt and all those guys are popular.
They're not considered at risk, dude. We are.
Exactly. Nothing ever happens to them.
We can fix that.
They'll be our perfect audience.
We'll look like heroes for a day.
We'll save the day.
The assholes will respect us for once.
- Scared Straight. - Scared Straight.
Randall, this is the biggest place ever. How are we gonna wrangle all this?
Exactly. That's why we have a ringer, Chip Landsness.
Chip Landsness? Isn't that guy a dealer?
We'll get to that.
Holy shit, Chip. Holy fucking shit.
I said subdue, Mr. Lorenzo, not bite his fucking face off.
It looks worse than it is.
- He's fucking dead! - What are you, a doctor now?
Fucking look, Chip! Does he look alive to you?
- What the hell, man? - How do you know?
Hey.
They needed to believe it, and I delivered, okay?
Full commitment. I'm fucking method, dude.
Did he deserve it?
Fucking A, he did. Fucking A.
He looks familiar…
Doesn't he?
Okay, I get everything else,
but what are we doing here? What's this part of the plan?
Well, zombies can only do so much.
They scare them inside, we scare them up here.
So, what should I put on mine?
- How do they see you? - Okay, wait.
But we're still counting on tricking the bus driver.
There's no need to trick the bus driver.
Chad Lorenzo has been shitting on me since I was a freshman.
He got me there. I loved being a high school bully so much, I never left.
- Became a teacher. - I'm all the way in.
Jesus, Wayne, hitting a little hard, bud.
You gonna be able to function?
Function? Chip, I've been waiting 20 years for this, 20 years to unleash.
I'm putting the "fun" back in "function."
Oh, he will be humbled. Believe me.
I read somewhere that 99 percent of all teens
wouldn't be bullied if they simply believed
they didn't deserve it.
Do you deserve it?
We let Chip do his thing, and they all start running,
and we lead them to here, and we wait for the zombies.
Which will be your drugged-out rando classmates,
herded by Wayne and yours truly, because…
Check this out.
- What's in that stuff? - Control.
This is your Manson Family desert drug.
You tell 'em to dance, they will dance.
You tell 'em to follow, they will follow.
- Where did it come from? - Burning Van.
- Burning Man? - No. That shit's for hippies.
Burning Van.
Happens in Pensacola about once a month. You can get all kinds of shit there.
Had my guy mixology this special cocktail for us.
This is your zombie juice.
See, we got it all planned out, Stevie.
Okay, sure, that's the plan, but what's the plan after the plan?
The plan after the plan is exactly what they testify.
We just say what they say they saw.
We get attacked by someone who doesn't exist.
We all heard the tape that's been burned in some barrel.
And we say exactly what they say they saw.
Except, what if somebody catches on?
If we keep 'em confused and scared, then they won't figure it out.
How much did you fucking inject them with, Chip?
That shit back there, that was fucking crazy!
I didn't know it was gonna be like that! I thought it was just gonna be, like,
shuffling Night of the Living Dead zombies.
That shit back there was like World War Z on fucking bath salts, man!
It's an imperfect science, Steven.
Chip, you said that they wouldn't feel anything.
You said that they wouldn't get hurt. You said...
Look, dude, do I need to explain drugs to you? It will wear off.
They won't remember a thing. They will wake up and not feel a thing.
They're not gonna forget, 'cause they know, Chip.
They know. They know. They all know. I heard them.
Help us.
What do you even know about anything? You don't even know what the fuck
you put in those things!
We had a plan, man.
Focus on the positive. Everyone bought it.
We did our job. I mean, so what if there are a few hiccups?
- I... - Hiccups?
Wayne almost got everybody killed, including me.
And now he's dead.
No one was supposed to die, man!
It's a mulligan. We did our job.
I don't know what you guys are shitting your pants about.
You knew this would be a possibility.
Why else would you have a bag full of real weapons?
I got you your prize, assholes. They're all in the cage.
Now go do what you gotta do.
What are you fucking talk…
What are you talking? What cage?
- What weapons? What? - Come on, Stevie.
You really think plans like this don't have backup plans?
What the fuck is that for?
This is the contingency plan.
This negates any and all human error,
of which there's been a real fucking lot of!
You two…
You gave me hope.
I saw a chance to take back all the years that were stolen from me
because of the judgment they put upon me,
because of the labels they gave me, because of the resentment inside of me.
All that shit that happens in high school,
that doesn't stay in high school.
That shit gets branded in here, and it festers in here.
I still carry all that fucking anger,
all that sadness, all that worry and anxiety.
I'm so fucking mad!
It's different faces but the same fucking dudes.
The same fucking teachers, the same fucking cops.
Now, I hoped that we could cure something tonight.
I really did.
We just exposed it for what it is.
A fucking plague.
Now, I'm going to do what I can to clean it up.
Maybe that'll help with some of the years of misery. I don't fucking know.
- But that could kill them. - If it need be, Stevie.
And that need…
Be.
All right, Tamra's gonna wonder where I went. I gotta get back.
It's a shame I was only able to save you, Steven.
What are you talking about? What the... What are you saying?
Anyone who's onto us has to go, for real, or we go to prison forever.
I ain't going back.
- You were in fucking jail? - Only twice. Chill.
I rehabilitated.
Oh, my God, we're so…
Fucked! Fuck!
Oh, no, no. Hey, hey. We just rewrite the ending.
We work with the girls. We kill the assholes.
If anything happens, anything goes down,
they are just as guilty as us. Okay? Win-win.
I'm sorry. Ever was just too smart for her own good.
Maybe Jacey's more your speed.
Come on.
Hey. There's no turning back now, Stevie.
That man is going to murder you tonight, Ever,
unless you do something to stop him.
I wanted to be the hero.
Guess I was always destined to be the villain.
What now? What now? What's the plan?
This is the grand finale, Steven.
But we won't lose.
It's time to put everyone out of their misery.
I want you to know I wasn't planning for things to go this way,
but since they are, I also want you to know that you deserve it.
Let's have some fun.
Dose him. Don't worry about being gentle, especially with that one.
- Leave him alone. - Why? He didn't leave me alone.
Ever wonder where you'd be without Danny?
Probably just another rando.
Got you!
It's time. Them or us.
You understand?
If you stop fighting, I'll be sweet.
Ever.
Remember what your mother said.
Make good choices!
Fuck.
Okay, when I slide this door open,
you remove the latch and get out of the way. Okay?
Okay. Okay.
Randall? Jesus, there you are.
I thought I heard something up here.
Thank God. Where have you been?
Tamra, I'm so sorry.
Ever's gone.
Those things got her.
No, but…
We can get through this.
Tamra, I need you to be strong.
I know how to save us. We gotta get everybody up here.
Can you help me?
It's what Ever would've wanted.
I need your help, okay?
Steven? Hey, just let us go, man.
Hey, you know, you don't want to be here, man.
I mean…
- Stop talking. - Steven!
What the hell are you doing?
You do this, bro, there is no coming back!
Hey, shut up!
Shut up right now!
- Shut up! Shut up! - There's no coming back.
Shut the fuck up right now!
Do you hear that?
It's them. They killed our friends.
Well, now we got 'em cornered. Now it's time to end it
before they take anything else away from us.
- Let's get out of here. - No! Look at what happened to Danny!
We can't keep running. If we do,
they're just gonna keep chasing us, and that's how they win.
But not tonight. We're gonna kill as one, right here, right now.
- Where'd you get these? - Ask me later. Use 'em now.
I don't think I can.
I know.
But they aren't us anymore.
Eyes front! Get ready!
All right, you're strong enough. You don't need anyone else.
None of us do. On three, you put them down.
On three.
One.
Two.
Three! Now!
No!
No! Stop!
Ever?
Oh, God! She's one of them!
No, I'm not. They drugged us!
Hey! She's infected! She's trying to trick us. Attack her!
Steven and Randall, they set this whole thing up!
- She's gonna kill me! - Don't worry, Steven! We're coming!
They tricked us, drugged us, want to screw us, but they fucked up,
and now they have to kill us to get away with it!
She's telling the truth!
Danny?
- Daniel? - Don't listen to her!
This is what they want! If you want to live, fight right now!
Tamra.
You're my best friend, so have my back
and clock that fuck!
Randall, no!
You've gotta be fucking kidding me.
Look out!
Ever! Ever!
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Yes, Steven, you are.
No!
- Go! - No, no! No! Oh, my God!
- We got this. - Help me!
Oh, my God!
Hey.
You okay?
Ever, look out!
Jacey!
- Jacey! - Oh, God. Oh, God, oh, God.
Hey, fucker!
We could've been everything.
I would never be with someone like you.
Fine.
Tamra!
Goodbye, Tamra.
- No! - Daniel!
Jacey.
Ever!
Are…
Are you okay?
No.
Not at all.
Pretty sure I just went through withdrawal.
How about you?
No, pretty messed-up. Yeah.
We're good.
Are you okay?
I'm so sorry. I was such a fucking asshole to you.
And you, too.
Yes. You have been, but I'm not letting you die
until we figure it out. Get it?
Okay.
Good talk.
You can't stop me!
No, Randall.
I can't.
But they can.
Fuck it.
- Jacey! - I got it.
Son of a bitch!
- That was awesome. - Right.
You are nothing.
Shit.
Should I have said something cool?
You nailed it.
Sweet.
And so, the PTA set up a field trip for extra credit
with the goal of teaching teens to become one with nature, respect each other…
My life sucks.
…and maybe, just maybe, plant the seeds of friendship.
But instead, two boys, desperate to be lords of high school
and two adults who never grew up past it
hatched a plan involving reckless driving, drinking, drugs, violence and horror
to teach a teacher a lesson, bully the bullies into submission,
humble those with hubris,
and have unprotected apocalypse sex with their crushes.
This plan was an epic fail.
However, as the sun Rose,
something else about that night dawned upon us,
an unintended side effect of what we'd all been through.
A bully had become a protector.
Who would've thought that we'd be friends again, huh, Danny?
It's Daniel.
The estranged had come back together.
If I may ask, what happened between you two?
- It's a long story. - No, man, it's not.
We were best friends at fat camp.
Yeah, and then I lost all the weight,
but I became a bit of a dick until this morning, so…
Guess it's a short story. Onward.
More like a sonnet.
A beauty queen realized the inside is just as important as the outside.
Strangers were no longer strangers.
Not to be rude, but…
- Who are you? - I got on the wrong bus.
Thanks.
And there it was.
This unlikely group had bonded, like braces,
during the most combustible, formative years of teen life
to become a loyal tribe.
Matt, Juniper…
Candace, Wagoner.
I hear Karlak can help us get the bus started.
- How can I help? - Who says we want your help, Jump Street?
I'm kidding.
Let's go, Hunter.
It is amazing how much you can learn about somebody
after you've been held captive together.
Ain't that right, Fat Camp?
I guess so, Jump Street.
And then, there were the two old friends.
And…
Then there's us.
What did we learn, you and I?
You first.
I guess this is all about getting out of your own way.
I got stuck.
Sorry.
Well, I mean…
I was seriously close to killing you back there, so… sorry.
Yeah. What was up with that?
You know, in the moment, I…
Didn't recognize you.
But then…
I saw my friend.
But she wasn't the same anymore.
- Is it that bad? - More like badass.
What?
- Yeah. - Really?
- Yes. - You think so?
It's totally you.
I mean, don't get me wrong, that was crazy back there.
Like, you got a total mayhem makeover.
But…
Yeah, all of a sudden, there you were, standing there, like…
Complete.
And that was the scariest part of the whole night.
'Cause I thought…
"She doesn't need me anymore."
No one said high school was easy.
You know,
my mom said it's when you get out of high school
that you learn who you really are.
That's when you figure out where you belong.
But maybe…
This completely fucked-up night…
Proved that we don't have to wonder
which groups are gonna accept us or define us,
because any group
would be fucking lucky to have us consider them.
You know, I think we needed that.
What the fuck?
So, in an attempt to triumph over your targets,
you two troubled teens tricked, terrorized
and tragically tried to take out your own classmates.
But all the besties, bullies and babes not only didn't bite it,
they emerged, humbled, brave, balanced young adults.
Does that sound about right?
- What are you, CIA? - No.
The Parent Teachers Association is bringing back
the Scared Straight program.
And the question we have for you boys is…
Can you do it again?