(♪♪♪)
L'Afrique.
(♪♪♪)
To Tangier.
-Tangier! -Tangier!
How can it take this long to sort out a car,
for fuck's sake?
It's Morocco, not Milton Keynes.
-Hey! -What's the matter?
-Glad we aren't staying here. -Mm.
We'll stay on the way back. Might be interesting.
Interesting in a good way or interesting in a bad way?
It's 400 miles to Azna.
DAVID: Long way to go for a party,
but then they're more your friends than mine.
JO: That'll be news to Richard.
(♪♪♪)
Look at them. Continental wildebeest.
You'd think they hadn't eaten in days.
Maybe they don't give them any sandwiches
on those buses.
Should you still be drinking?
It's just a glass.
You'll finish the bottle like you always do.
-Why am I thinking harpy? -(JO LAUGHS)
Why am I thinking shrill?
Why am I thinking highly functioning alcoholic?
I've always thought the highly functioning part
should cancel out the alcoholic part.
You know, like a double negative.
Besides, the roads are empty.
(♪♪♪)
(DOOR OPENS)
It's not a military timetable.
Do you want to stay here a night?
I want to get to Richard's.
It's all right.
They treat their women like donkeys.
To them, you're just an escaped donkey.
You know I hate it when you say things like that.
-Well, it's true, isn't it? -It doesn't matter if it is.
I'd say it matters. I'd say it matters very much.
You have no idea how they treat their women.
-None. -(CHUCKLES)
-Ah, Monsieur? -Oui?
Merci.
JO: Damn internet.
-Face it, David, we're lost. -DAVID: We're not lost.
We just have to find the turn-off to Azna.
-Is this the right road? -There's only one road.
We just passed through Midelt. We should turn towards Tafnet.
I didn't see any other road that might fit--
I didn't say anything about Tafnet.
Doesn't matter, this is the right--
We left too late.
Yes, of course, it's my fault.
Because you insisted on us--
Change the bloody record, would you?
I'm going to call Richard.
No, we're not calling bloody anyone.
(CAR WHIRRING)
Must be one of the guests.
-But what if they're not? -They're white, aren't they?
(CHUCKLES)
(♪♪♪)
DAVID: Strange, they didn't stop.
What if we'd had a crash? They didn't even slow down.
-That's the turn. -No, it's not.
-This is the turn. -No, David.
-Don't be so bloody stupid. -(THUDS)
Welcome.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(SINGING IN ARABIC)
(♪♪♪)
Cocktail, sir.
TOM: Shukran. Merci. Fuck it, whatever.
All on your Pat Malone?
My wife ran off with the hedge fund manager.
Oh, I did that once.
TOM: How'd it work out?
He let me keep the condo in Cabo.
You like the music? It's very unique.
No, it's not.
They used to play it on every floor
of every Virgin Megastore.
(SCOFFS)
Oh, you're one of those people.
TOM: Oh, maybe.
Okay, bye-bye.
(CROWD APPLAUDS)
RICHARD: Uh, thank you.
Thank you, thank you. Thank you. Shut up.
Ladies and gentlemen, your attention, please.
Thank you all for attending
our little soirée out here in the desert.
This magnificent edifice in which you'll be staying
is what's known as a Ksour.
-That's Arab for castle. -Thank you, Dally.
The renovation proceeds at pace.
Dally and I never thought it would turn out so well.
The renovation's a complete farce.
And we couldn't have done it without the wonderful help
of our little Moroccan friends.
Baksheesh.
So, look, we hope you'll find this place
a vision of paradise.
A place in which to receive the people we love.
But enough waffling.
Dinner will be served promptly,
at 11:00, at which point
I encourage you to try the pastry
stuffed with sardines created by our chef,
monsieur Ben. Sensational.
In the meantime, please sample the honey.
It's the best in the world, and locally sourced.
And don't forget the figs,
traditionally representative of a woman's vagina.
(CHUCKLES) Or so we've been told.
(ALL LAUGH)
-Sláinte. -Sláinte.
(ALL CHEER)
-Dicky. -Hey, Tom.
I didn't see you there.
Did one of the boys get you a drink?
Can't be in a library without a drink.
Haven't seen anyone.
Maybe they're sorting out the quail.
Speaking of quail, did you bring a hotsy-totsy?
Girls won't touch me these days.
What about boys?
Dally tells me you have 1,000 girlfriends.
I've got three and they all hate me.
You should get down to the pool. Have you seen those Russians?
Oh là l.
David. It's Richard.
Where the bloody hell have you and Jo got to? Call me.
-Who's that? -Old friend.
He's an alcoholic. I shouldn't have let him drive.
Do people get lost driving here?
All the time. We say it's part of the charm.
TOM: You have an impressive house.
RICHARD: I have an eye for Islamic art, my time at Christie's.
Why don't you live here all year round?
One has to get a little older before moving to the desert.
Dally's not ready yet. I am.
-(SCREAMS) -(♪♪♪)
(ALL CHEER)
I take it you're not a friend of--
I'm here on assignment to do a profile.
But I'm really only here because of Leila Tarki.
I have no idea who that is.
You don't know Leila Tarki? The Moroccan auteur?
She's the coolest.
She's only here to raise financing
-for a new movie. -Oh, movie, huh?
-What's it about? -Nomads.
Nomads. Right.
At least it's not about refugees.
One thing to be thankful for.
-Nomads are going to save us. -Are they?
They have the right environmental ideas.
Leila says I look like a nomad.
(LOUD BANG)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
We were driving along there...
and we saw a couple by the side of the road.
Oh, we thought they'd just had sex.
This is the Henningers, the English couple?
Yes, I suppose.
Could have been bandits dressed as English people.
Or English bandits.
Plenty of those around of the "ass" variety.
Are you gay as well?
No, I'm not. But I fucked a man who is.
Were they having an argument?
I don't know.
They're not here though, are they?
(TAPS)
Thank you, Dally. Friends.
Life is but a sport or a pastime,
as the Qur'an tells us.
And, because it is a game and nothing more,
we forget that the point of life is death.
So, eat, drink, be merry, for tomorrow we die.
A little hackneyed, my love.
What do you think of the outfits?
I designed them myself.
Completely authentic.
-Are they? -Yeah they are.
They may as well be statues.
What's that supposed to mean?
-What kind of name is Dally? -It's a nickname.
An insult or an endearment?
-Take your fucking pick. -(LAUGHS)
What.
Dicky.
(♪♪♪)
Good God.
Hit him on the road. It's very unclear.
Unclear? Why would it be unclear?
They say he was selling fossils by the side of the road.
He stepped out and they hit him by accident.
But there has never been a fossil seller on that road
at night.
Or during the day. That's why it's unclear.
Anyone recognize him?
No, he's not from here. He's from the South.
RICHARD: What about the tattoo? A diamond.
Ouarida.
It is for protection against the evil eye.
Didn't bloody work then, did it?
Lay him out somewhere.
-The garage? -Yes, the garage. Good idea.
We don't want the guests getting wind
there's a body on the premises.
Last thing we need.
Shall we clean out the car?
No, we have to call the police in Taza.
Smashed headlights, smashed bumper.
Must have been going at a fair clip.
An accident, they said.
Do you believe them?
They are your guests. How am I not to believe them?
But do you in fact believe them?
I think they're scared. And I'm thinking of a proverb.
Go ahead. I like a good proverb.
Open your door to a good day
and prepare yourself for a bad one.
(♪♪♪)
-David. -Richard.
How are you feeling?
Bloody hot.
-It's the Sahara, old boy. -I know it's the fucking Sahara.
Uh. (SNIFFLES)
You're dressed for dinner.
So, the world's still normal.
You should get changed. Both of you. Get changed.
Have a shower, turn up for dinner.
Police will be here in an hour.
I know the officer in charge. It will be a formality.
Oh, a formality, okay.
How did it happen?
You should tell me before we tell the police.
Get everything ironed out.
We were bowling along looking for the sign for Azna.
And there was a lot of sand blowing across the road.
I couldn't see.
And he just stepped out in front of us
like he didn't understand the speed of a car.
The fact is we hit him. We hit him and we killed him.
Well, the main thing is to come clean,
cooperate with the police
and seem overwhelmingly contrite.
-We can do that, can't we? -Mmm.
If it's absolutely necessary.
David.
Poor fucking kid. When are the cops getting here?
They arrive when they arrive.
What kind of fucking--?
Hey, this is a fucking disaster.
-Have you checked his pockets? -Yeah, nothing in him.
No ID, not a single dirham, no nothing.
It's highly unusual for a Moroccan
-not to be carrying ID. -You're telling me.
Hey, where are those fuckers anyway?
Dinner. Putting a brave face on things.
-Was he drunk? -I don't know.
They ran right over him.
The kid wasn't just hit. Am I right?
Am I right?!
What are we going to do? I mean, you called the cops.
Now, it's going to be a fucking circus.
What would you suggest we do?
Get it settled tonight. Pay him off.
They'd have to find out who he is.
If they find that out, things might change.
Jesus. (EXHALES) Are you kidding?
I don't think we have anything to worry about.
-It's clear what happened. -Oh, it is, is it?
Cause I don't think it's clear at all.
I think that limey is hiding something.
Any chance to fuck with us and they will.
-Who? -The Moroccans!
The family will show up and they will fuck with us!
They'll say the infidels killed their boy.
Which would be true.
We were saying you must have had an accident.
A flat tire.
People always get flat tires out in the desert.
We all felt sorry for you.
A flat tire in the dark.
What a drag. Was it?
-Can't you see they want to eat? -No, it's all right.
We just need some time to recover.
People disappear here. They just vanish.
Did the Arabs molest you?
I'm sorry, I didn't get your...
Enchanté.
She's a nomad.
LEILA: Did you pass Beni Mellal?
We came through Midelt. It's a different road.
Did you get lost?
We didn't get lost.
It was just a long slog of a drive.
It's the road most of us came on.
Yes, but we didn't know it.
We didn't know which turning it was.
So, it wasn't a flat tire. You were just lost.
Not exactly.
We hit a Moroccan on the road and we killed him.
It was an accident. He stepped out in front of us.
I think you're wanted.
I can't understand why you did that.
Was it to humiliate me?
You can't keep pretending forever. Why lie to them?
But it wasn't our fault, was it?
I mean, you don't seriously expect me
to take the fault for this
just because some fucking carjacker
-decided to shoot the two of-- -Carjacker.
Carjacker, yes.
You haven't been following the news. I have.
You have a practice in Chelsea, monsieur Henninger.
Uhm, yes, that's... Yes.
And you, madam?
You write children's books, I believe?
Not very successful ones, I'm afraid, Captain.
I'm sure you're just being modest.
May I have a title I could look up for my children?
The last one was called Balthazar's Nighttime.
It's a little pretentious.
Ah, but it is charming.
Do you not find, monsieur Galloway?
Charming.
This man you killed.
Boy, I should say. He was a fossil seller.
Yes, but I mean...
It was clear he wasn't interested
in selling us fossils.
How could he be? This time of night.
Middle of bloody nowhere.
People here are desperate, monsieur Henninger.
They would do almost anything to sell a single fossil.
Forty Euros is a good sum for them.
I'm aware of that. I know they're poor.
We're really very sorry about this, captain.
I mean...
We're devastated, to be honest.
(SNIFFLES)
Yeah, devastated.
I'm sure you are.
By the way, I was wondering.
You are sure there was only one boy?
-They often travel in pairs. -Uh, yes, one boy.
CAPTAIN BENIHADD: You are sure.
-Yes, we're sure. -Good.
We will record it as an accidental death.
You'll take the body with you?
CAPTAIN BENIHADD (OS/ON): No, we cannot do that.
We do not have a morgue at our post.
There'll have to be arrangements made tomorrow.
hope you can enjoy the rest of your weekend,
monsieur Galloway.
The fire-eaters from Taza are arriving tomorrow.
CAPTAIN BENIHADD: Splendid.
(♪♪♪)
What do we make of the Henningers?
She's all right. Not sure about him.
Typical bourgeois.
-What are you doing? -Stepping on diamonds.
It's taboo.
I hope the genies get pissed off.
God's sake, David.
Oh, I hate all this ethnic pretense and affectation.
You can treat people decently
without rolling their carpets out everywhere.
Bloody kitsch.
A drink drink? Mm.
Hot chocolate's good. Yum.
I don't like the sound of those dogs.
They should drive them off.
I think they're wild camels. I heard one of the staff say--
Staff? Servants, you mean?
Oh, whatever.
They should still drive them off.
Camels bite.
I hear they do.
They like to bite people in the stomach.
It's the leading cause of death among the Arabs.
The police will do nothing.
And what do you expect them to do?
I heard one of the boys saying his legs were pulped.
The dead man. Pulped?
They didn't just hit him.
They run over him. Maybe more than once.
Bullshit.
What do they call it in your country?
-They have a word for it? -Roadkill.
I think we should get some sleep.
Why? (CHUCKLES)
I'm loosening up finally.
The sun's gonna be up in a few hours
and I want to sleep it off.
They won't come back. The police.
-Did Richard bribe them? -Yeah, possibly.
It's actually a huge hassle for them.
So much paperwork involved.
-And, I hate to say it-- -No, you don't.
I hate to say it, but the kid is a nobody.
He's from a village far away and no one knows who he is.
No ID, no witnesses.
So, that's that.
That's that.
(GROANS)
Where the fuck am I?
(♪♪♪)
Morning.
-You forgot the honey. -Madam?
Nevermind.
Do you have any idea where my husband is?
Horse riding.
Have I told you how much I admire your boots, ladies?
They give one something to grab hold of, don't they?
Given half a chance.
Have I told you how loathsome I find you,
-monsieur Henninger? -You didn't mention it, no.
And please call me David if you're going to insult me.
I'd slap your bottom for you, but I know you'd just enjoy it.
I certainly would.
I must say I'm enjoying this little threesome immensely.
(GROANS)
Very picturesque, I suppose, in a banal sort of way.
Why did Richard and Dally come here?
Gays have always come to North Africa.
Usually to bugger little Arab boys.
-It's an Edwardian tradition. -ISABELLE: Mon dieu .
That is such an offensive thing to say.
Interesting. You said it was offensive,
not that it wasn't true.
I thought Richard was a friend of yours.
He is. I was speaking historically.
Oscar Wilde, André Gide,
Joe Orton, Allen Ginsberg, William Burroughs...
I mean, I could go on and on. Pederasts. The lot of them.
You're a real shit-stirrer, aren't you, David?
Well, it passes the time
in an increasingly tedious world.
I was saying to Richard--
-Fuck! Little shit. -(HORSES NEIGHING)
(GRUNTS)
-MAISY: Oh, my God. -(CHILDREN LAUGHING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
JO: Nice hat.
Got it in Casablanca.
"Made in China."
What were you doing in Casablanca?
I was playing ping-pong with a hooker
at the Tahiti hotel.
I've heard about that kind of ping-pong.
Hookers find me irresistible. Wanna know why?
-You smell of money? -(CHUCKLES)
Did she do anal?
What's the point of a hooker if she doesn't do anal?
I'm going to tell your mother you said that.
My mother would be fascinated.
-Have you been here before? -JO: Mm-mm.
We never get away. David works all the time.
His patients are all rich old bags
who harass him mercilessly around the clock.
This is a strange place for a holiday home.
It's like they're living out some kind of fantasy,
-I guess. -I like it here.
It feels like a country where useless men can be happy.
-And are you a useless man? -(SIGHS)
I follow the way of the Buddha.
It's good to know that there are other useless people
in this world.
-Besides me. -(TOM CHUCKLES)
We should get out of the sun.
-Before we start to bleed. -I don't bleed very easily.
We were riding the trail and they were waiting for us.
Could have been nasty.
Could have been nasty? It was nasty, little cunt.
I've always said they were an irrational people.
Didn't like seeing me on the horse,
I expect. Thought I was enjoying myself.
-Mm-hm. Weren't you? -That's not the point.
Is it against the law to unwind
after a traumatic event?
Here.
Some kids from the other side of the valley, apparently.
Everyone's heard about it.
Heard about what?
The accident, what do you think?
Give it here.
They're insatiable gossips.
It's a function of being illiterate.
What a nice little fascist you've become
since being hit by a stone.
-Is that all it takes? -They could have blinded me.
I could have been bloody disfigured.
DALLY: They're heading this way.
RICHARD: It's not the police. Haven't heard from them.
DALLY: Mint suppliers?
RICHARD: They came this morning.
-Maybe someone from the morgue. -Do they even have morgues?
Don't they just throw the body in a pit or something?
There's a morgue in Errachidia. Might be a pick up from them.
I wish you hasn't invited the Henningers.
What a bore they are and what a mess they've made.
-Did you see his shoes? -Are they a bore?
Oh, they're a horrible bore.
I guarantee you they're the only ones
who don't dress up tonight.
They'll claim they have post traumatic
-stress disorder or something. -I'm sure it is what they have.
Let's face it, babe. Pirates.
A bit cheesy, a bit fucking eighties.
You always pooh-pooh my ideas.
Hardly keeping with the aesthetic though.
You always pooh-pooh my ideas. And they're not just pirates.
They are buccaneers and wenches, and sexy swashbucklers.
All right.
Just as long as they don't end up
plundering any of my paintings.
You were right about the Henningers.
We should have invited the Bainbridges instead.
Yeah, they're generally wacko.
And they don't kill people on the way up.
(♪♪♪)
The father?
You'll leave him kneeling there all day?
-They are Aït Kebash. -So...
They will try to extort money from you.
DALLY: Where do the Aït Kebash live?
HAMID: Far. Far out.
Then they've come a long way. Open the gate.
They will blackmail you.
The men of the desert know everything.
No, they don't. They just assume the worst,
which makes them right nine times out of ten.
(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
What.
He said the Englishman must pay.
Fuck that.
Pay the old crow. Make him go away.
You don't pay someone for an accident, for fuck's sake.
You don't even know how much he wants.
Might just be 1,000 Euros.
-Or a fuck of a lot more. -That's nothing for us.
-It's blackmail. -RICHARD: So what if it is?
What's the word for blackmail in their language?
If they even have one.
You think villages in the Sahara are living in shit
in the same way we do?
It's the principle of the thing.
It's the principle of the thing plus 1,000 Euros.
That seems like a pretty good deal
for the cost of a life.
Not when I'm being robbed.
You're not being robbed. You're being spared.
Why? What are they going to do to me?
Lynch me? (CHUCKLES) Public castration?
I wasn't thinking about them lynching you.
And I wasn't thinking about them cutting off your cock.
I was thinking about them not going away.
Of course, your precious weekend.
Must not forget your bloody party.
What about contacting the consulate in Casablanca?
I don't think you're really considering
your own best interests.
If we contact the consulate, there'd have to be
a thorough look at this whole thing.
And I mean thorough.
-I don't think you want that. -I would welcome the consulate--
RICHARD: No, David. I don't think you would.
-Fine, I'll go. -No.
I would like to pay my respects anyway.
No. That is absolutely out of the question.
You know how these people are.
It'd make things so much more awkward.
Well, we wouldn't want to make things awkward.
(♪♪♪)
I see Lord Swanthorne's arrived.
-Do you know him? -From the club.
Perfect parasite, but amusing in his way.
So, how's the practice?
-Not too good. -Huh.
Bit of a dearth of skin cancers in London at the moment.
I was sued by a patient. Old woman in Chiswick.
Cost me an arm and a leg.
-Oh, dear. I didn't hear. -No, you didn't.
It's my life. If it goes wrong,
I'd rather it went wrong in private.
-What happened? -Forensic fuck-up.
Didn't spot the tumours for what they were.
Human error.
-And the old woman... -She's dying.
Ah, sorry.
So, it cost her an arm and a leg too, then.
The old boy probably won't know any English.
You speak French, don't you?
Of course, I speak fucking French.
You sure you're ready for this?
After you.
He says he will speak to me.
Perhaps because you're not believers.
-Oh, here we go. -No, it's fine.
Go ahead.
He wants you to return with them to bury the boy.
What the fuck?
And if you are a man of honour, you will do it.
It is customary in these parts.
Is it customary in these parts?
These are not the people I know. They're Berber.
If they say it is their custom, I have to believe them.
Did he did mention money?
No, but it will be understood. We don't speak of such things.
-David has to know the amount. -I cannot ask him that.
Monsieur David just has to take a certain amount with him.
DAVID: Monsieur David hasn't agreed to this absurd plan.
Go back with him to his village? Are you bonkers?
It may be you don't have a choice.
He's not entirely asking you.
He's being polite, but I think he will insist.
Going back to their village for a night
and paying your respects
would be a bloody sight easier than anything else.
You'll be back in a couple of days.
Has it occurred to you, Dicky,
that he might actually be planning something
a lot nastier than anything you can anticipate
since he thinks I bunked off his fucking kid and all that?
-You're exaggerating, monsieur. -Am I? Am I really?
Yeah. Yeah, you are. They won't pull any stunts.
They're afraid of the Moroccan police.
Well they might be fucking ISIS for all I know.
Are you this paranoid all the time?
I don't hear you volunteering, Yank.
That's because I didn't kill him.
Well I didn't fucking kill him.
He just stepped out in front of me.
-His name was Driss. -Yes, I...
Driss. Driss, right.
(♪♪♪)
DAVID: What does it matter? One way or the other,
everyone thinks I'm guilty anyway.
What a jolly weekend this has turned out to be.
(LYRICS IN FRENCH)
(♪♪♪)
How'd it go?
Dicky and the Arab servant
have cooked up a perfectly wonderful wease.
I'm to go back with the old geezer
to his village
in the middle of nowhere and do some atonement.
Fuck that. They could be ISIS for all we know.
That's what I said. Didn't go down too well.
-Had to smooth things over. -What'd you say?
I agreed to go.
Everyone seems to think it's the only thing to do.
And I imagine it might get nasty.
-How was he, the father? -Inscrutable.
And it's just you that has to go?
Just me.
They're probably worried
you'll get your period or something.
The man just lost his son, David.
I'm sure that they have their rituals
just like everyone else.
DAVID: Maybe it's a good idea.
We don't want the police showing up again,
poking their noses into everything.
No, I suppose we don't.
May I remind you, Jo, you got into a car with a drunk,
which makes you an accessory before and after the fact.
JO: Funny that.
Like I've been an accessory for a long time now.
I'm sure Richard wouldn't let you go
if there was a risk.
It'll be fine. A little jolly in the desert.
Might even enjoy myself, who knows?
Probably just wants closure, that's all.
That's what people always want these days.
It's like being on fucking Oprah.
A bit of an outdated reference, Oprah.
Was it? Oh, I'm sorry. I do apologize.
You know, that that's what he wants, right? The father.
He wants you to apologize, to say that you're sorry.
Well, I'll say I'm sorry.
-Are you sorry? -I will say I'm sorry.
-Oh, shit. I forgot about-- -(FIREWORKS EXPLODING)
Oops.
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
(PEOPLE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
What's in the bag?
Clean shirt, clean socks, clean underwear.
I feel like I'm being packed off to boarding school.
Probably going to need the clean underwear.
Oh, the rent boy made a joke.
-Now, now. Cash? -A thousand Euros.
That's all they're getting.
Take care out there, stumblebum.
Right. Remember, David, you can't show fear
or discomfort in front of these people.
You have to show indifference to both.
I'll try to bear that in mind.
I expect one of them will give you a ride back afterwards.
If not, give us a call and we'll figure something out.
You've got your mobile?
-Will it work out there? -Of course it will.
Let me know you're all right.
Good luck, old man.
Poor sod.
It'll be a difficult couple of days.
It'll certainly be an experience for him.
I'll call in a couple of hours.
Make sure they haven't raped him.
-Richard... -Kidding.
-What? -You're terrible.
(LAUGHS)
(♪♪♪)
Would you like a cigarette?
-French. Not Moroccan shit. -No, no. Thank you.
ANOUAR: Your wife is very pretty.
I will have a gazelle like that one day.
InshaAllah!
(♪♪♪)
-You don't look like a pirate. -I'm supposed to be Dionysus.
None of these illiterates even know who that is.
God of drink and drugs and madness.
Then I've an audience of one.
What else should I know?
He was once kidnapped by pirates, hence the reference.
A cult grew up around him.
His followers were said to be cannibals.
They symbolically ate his flesh and drank his blood.
No, I'm pretty sure you're thinking
-of Roman Catholics. -(TOM CHUCKLES)
Shouldn't you be wearing a toga?
There's getting into the spirit of the thing
-and then there's going too far. -(CHUCKLES)
The pirate costume didn't suit me anyway.
I looked like Johnny Depp.
Much more handsome,
less bloated Johnny Depp, obviously.
Obviously.
You're a writer, Dicky was saying?
Not sure about that anymore.
I haven't written a word in eight years
and all of my books have been forgotten
by the world's feckless children.
-And that doesn't bother you? -It's a relief.
I guess every artistic career
has a few moments of visibility,
followed by a long, painful descent
into total anonymity.
I'm sure some feckless child of the future will pick up
one of your books and rescue you from oblivion.
No one's going to be reading books in 50 years,
let alone a thousand.
And the children of the future will all be empty headed clowns,
just like the children of the present.
Oh, I'm going to go out on a limb
and assume you don't have any kids.
(LAUGHS)
What about you, not about kids, your work?
Ugh.
Financial analyst.
What does a financial analyst actually do
if they actually do anything?
We buy, we sell...
And every 10 years or so,
you get it all catastrophically wrong.
I guess that's right.
-Sounds like fun. -It is.
(LAUGHS)
(RADIO STATIC)
(MUSLIM CALL TO PRAYER)
(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
We are nearing Erfoud,
the largest oasis in North Africa.
From here come the royal family of Morocco.
I'm a big fan of royalty, I always have been.
Prince Andrew, Mohammed bin Salman,
wonderful people.
He says we will go to the hotel.
No one can drive across to Alnif in the dark.
I'll take your word for it.
(MUSLIM CALL TO PRAYER)
(♪♪♪)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Come on, bunny. Don't worry, he'll be alright.
He's probably having a joint with the Ait Kebash as we speak.
They're incorrigible potheads. He'll be stoned the whole time.
Easy for you to say.
You're not being driven into the desert
to a place that you can't pronounce.
Do you know where it is on the map?
I don't care where it is on the map.
Fuck him anyway, ruined my night.
Don't sulk, sweetie.
We'll have a good ol' fashioned blowout tomorrow
to make up for it.
You know the school David and I went to,
there was a story that did the rounds,
bedroom incident on Parents' Day.
One of the boys started throwing mice
off the roof top of the masters down below.
But each mouse was equipped with a little parachute
-decorated with a swastika. -(LAUGHS)
Parachutes didn't work, obviously.
Poor mice hurtled to their deaths
against the flagstones
with the swastikas draped over them.
-That's terrible. -(DALLY LAUGHS)
Why would someone do something like that?
Children aren't really that well-versed
in the principles of aerodynamics.
No, I mean the swastikas.
Kid was probably vilifying the masters as Nazi types.
Or he just liked swastikas.
Story was it was David who did it.
-No, is that true? -I couldn't say for sure.
Before my time.
But I heard they caned him for it anyway.
Beat him black and blue.
Now, listen, are you going to mope all weekend
or are you going to enjoy yourself?
It's not a crime to enjoy yourself, you know?
I suppose I can make the effort.
DALLY: Attagirl!
(MUSIC PLAYING IN BACKGROUND)
What are you doing?
It is more fitting. Please, I'm sure you understand.
I will order your Coke.
There is a room upstairs where you can sleep.
We rise again at five. I will come for you.
OPERATOR OVER PHONE: The person you have dialled cannot be reached.
Bloody knew it. (CHUCKLES)
MAN OVER TV: Everyone is alive right now.
Everyone's made it this far.
We've all done the worse kinds of things...
Liar.
Oh, Christ.
(BOTH GIGGLES)
Oh, I heard there was an accident last night.
Was somebody hurt?
Friend of mine from London got lost on the road,
David Henninger.
Oh, that's who that was. Thought I recognized him.
One of the Arabs stepped out in front of him.
Kaput.
Where's Henninger now?
Oh, he sent him into the desert to die.
-Did you sleep? -Eventually.
Did you dream?
No. I mean, I... I can't remember.
-I had a very strange dream. -Oh yeah?
I dreamed I was... I was a butterfly.
How do you know that you are not a butterfly...
dreaming that you are a man?
-Hmm I like that. -Well, it's not one of mine.
(CHUCKLES) Chinese fellow said it.
(♪♪♪)
Yes?
Madame. Monsieur Day has sent you a card.
You can leave it on the table.
Monsieur Day says I must wait for a reply.
-You serious? -Yes, madame.
You can call me mademoiselle.
TOM: Papayas for breakfast, how the hell do they do it?
No point in having contacts in the Ministry of Interior
if you can't get a fresh papaya.
-What happened to the raw egg? -Couldn't stomach it.
Boosts your libido.
My libido's fine, Mrs. Henninger.
There's a picnic today. We should go.
We should go?
Heard your husband's gone AWOL.
I'm just offering my services as an... escort.
-How very gallant of you. -(TOM CHUCKLES)
TOM: It's an oasis somewhere.
Maybe there'd be a waterfall.
Everyone likes waterfalls.
And this would involve swimming, I assume?
TOM: Hope so.
The voyeurs among us want to see you in a swimsuit.
Not very subtle.
I'm from New York, subtly gets you fined there.
I won't fine you, maybe a little corporal punishment.
Corporal punishment?
Now I'm beginning to feel a vague stirring of interest.
Vague, stirring, vague, stirring?
I need something a little more concrete
than vague stirring.
I'll talk to my people. They'll talk to their people.
We'll get back to you.
And there I was hoping for a hostile takeover.
(LAUGHS)
(♪♪♪)
As-salamu alaykum!
(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
Oh. Orthoceras.
He says you cannot drink from the same cup.
You cannot eat from the same plate.
He says your shadow must not cross.
-Is that a custom? -No, just his way right now.
-It will pass. -Alright.
ANOUAR: It has been sent all the way to Norway.
Coffee table.
It is incredible that wealthy men
collect such things.
Wealthy men collect a lot of stupid bullshit.
ANOUAR: The renovation of a single bathroom
can keep a Saharan village alive for a year.
The desert is what we fish, and the fossils are our fish.
It is a joke. God has played a joke on us.
-Does it make you laugh? -No, not at all.
-Makes you laugh? -No.
Makes me laugh.
Soon there will be nothing here.
No people, no trees. We are the last ones.
We have fossils and our children.
And nothing else.
ISIS control this part of the desert.
That's very encouraging to hear.
Marvellous. (CHUCKLES)
We will drive around Issomour to arrive to Tafal'aalt.
-It is the back way. -Why the back way?
It's the old man's choice.
So, it'll add hours to the trip.
No, I wouldn't say so long.
We should be there soon enough.
Why are you looking at your watch?
(LAUGHS) I don't know.
What?
It was his only son.
It was his only child.
Well... the world is a dreadful place,
my father used to say.
And the best you can do is make fun of it.
-Here's my best Buster Keaton. -(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
-Here's when he's young... --(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
Here's when he's old. See the difference?
They say you throw the best parties
-east of Marrakesh. -Correction.
The best parties in the whole North Africa.
-Is that good? -I got it.
Dally. Could you get everybody moving?
Quicker we get there the better. It's too bloody hot.
-Oasis time. -LORD SWANTHORNE: Dicky.
RICHARD: Darling.
LORD SWANTHORNE: As I live and breathe.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(♪♪♪)
RICHARD: You know, Dally and I come down here
nearly every day, and every time I remember
-why I'm not in London. -JO: Do you sing a song to Pan
as you stroll along?
-And other Gods too. -Mammon, right? He was a god.
The Phoenicians didn't make it quite this far west, Tom.
Oh, of course. The Phoenicians. How stupid of me.
-Asshole. -(JO LAUGHS)
TOM: Did I tell you I have a house in Bali?
JO: And you own a Kandinsky too, right?
TOM: It does sound like a line.
What is it you like about Bali?
The hot weather cheap restaurants.
I thought Mick Jagger lived there
and then it turned out he didn't.
-Girlfriend? -Not in Bali.
I thought all white men had a girlfriend in Asia.
Not me.
Mmm, I'm sure you have a few sluts on the side.
A little judgmental, of both me and the sluts.
I'm not judging anyone. I think men need sluts.
I think women need to be sluts.
They can't seem to manage otherwise,
except when they're drunk, of course.
Maybe you don't know how to ask.
-Me personally? -Yeah, you personally.
You've forgotten about my husband.
-Yes, I have. -And so have you.
(♪♪♪)
(WOMEN CRYING)
Was that the mother?
No, no. She died many years ago.
-Aunts and a cousin. -Hmm.
This is Driss' room.
There is no other room for you to sleep in.
Abdellah want you to feel his spirit here.
He thinks it is more fitting.
I'm going to the burial now.
-Does Abdellah want me to-- -No, no, no.
While I am away you should keep your door bolted.
What?
The women. Grief.
(♪♪♪)
(PRAYING IN ARABIC)
(♪♪♪)
(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
(CHUCKLES)
JO: What have you done?
JO: What the fuck are you doing?
(BANGING ON DOOR)
Hungry?
-What meat is this? -Goat.
-It's good. -Fresh.
Abdellah only killed the animal an hour ago.
The diggers are returning from the mountain.
They come back when it's dark,
when they can no longer see what they are doing.
So, they work from dawn to dusk.
It's a nice phrase until you think
what it actually means.
Why did you agree to come back here, David?
I don't know, I suppose...
I suppose I wanted to cross the bridge
and have done with things.
Abdellah will come by soon to have a talk with you.
Is he coming with a knife?
(CHUCKLES)
(SNORTS)
I haven't done this in years.
This is A-force snow from Marseilles.
LORD SWANTHORNE: It's a rather boring drug I find.
I plowed through heaps of it with John Paul Getty...
or old one ear as I liked to call him.
I only do it now because Maribel insists.
You're such a liar.
You look fucking hot tonight by the way.
That's just the coke talking.
I think it's good you've got some time to yourself, Jo.
I think you needed it.
It would be great if I wasn't so worried.
You know you'll never be accepted here,
don't you, Dicky?
Being an infidel and all.
Why should they accept them?
They have every reason to hate them.
I'd have thought they'd have more reason to hate you.
France has excellent relations with the Arabs.
We share the Mediterranean with them.
-But you wouldn't understand. -I understand.
You mean you have them in your ghettos...
so you feel close to them, but do you feel close to them...
when they're burning cars in the suburbs
and ransacking your synagogues?
That is just, how do you say, a probleme social?
No, they dislike you for the same reason
they dislike us.
We're not Muslims and we lord it over them.
It's against what they regard
as the natural order of things
which would be them lording over us.
I don't hold it against them though.
They're rival imperialists.
But in America, Muslims are peaceful and prosperous.
They don't spend their time
rioting and pelting police cars with garbage cans.
How come they only do that in France?
It must be, how do you say, solidarité.
You are killing hundreds of thousands
-in Iraq and Afghanistan... -No, we're not, darling.
-The Mujahideen are. -Okay, okay, okay.
Listen, honey, we understand...
that when in doubt Americans must be blamed.
We would miss it if you didn't blame us.
We're masochists is what you're saying.
Yeah, we enjoy it. It makes us feel
more important than we actually are.
Blame us less and we'd be a lot more humble.
We wouldn't think that
we were actually the centre of the world.
ISABELLE: I don't believe you.
You always think you're the centre of the world.
You fucking Americans!
(LAUGHS)
What do you think, Hamid?
The tongue has no bones, Sir, but it crushes all the same.
(CHANTING INDISTINCTLY)
(♪♪♪)
Is it good?
It's an apple.
You speak English.
Well, I guess the joke's on me.
There is something I want to show you.
The fossil Driss was carrying when he was hit by your car.
It was recovered by the police.
They returned it to me because it is so valuable.
It is called an Elvis. An Elvis?
Only three specimens have been found in the Sahara...
and the dealers decided to give it the name of Elvis...
because it is a superstar.
Driss stole it from me.
This happens all the time.
The young boys are frustrated.
They feel they're going nowhere.
And have no hopes.
They don't want to be diggers all their lives.
They don't want to live like their fathers.
They want to escape.
So, they steal an Elvis...
which they know will sell for $10,000
in the United States.
If they can sell it to a foreigner
for 1,000 Euros...
they can go to Casablanca, start a new life...
Casablanca is full of loose women.
And 1,000 Euros will get you a long way
with a loose woman.
I didn't mind when I found out
that Driss had stolen it from me.
I understood him.
And in a way, I wished them luck.
It's only a fossil after all.
A lump of rock. Literally.
If he had sold it to you for a few hundred Euros...
I would have been happy for him.
Really happy.
How much better it would have been...
if you had stopped and bought the damn thing.
You would now be in Azna...
drinking cocktails with your wife.
And Driss would be in Casablanca in the arms of a loose woman.
I'm sorry about what happened.
I'm very sorry.
But it was a terrible accident.
(♪♪♪)
I have no idea why you people have such a thirst
for these stupid rocks.
What do you see in them?
All we know is that you want them
and are prepared to pay money for them.
Some of us believe...
that these are the most evil creatures
that ever existed...
that they are the forms of dead demons.
That is what they look like, you must admit.
They must have an influence on our minds.
An influence that is evil.
And that's what attracts you to them.
It's all a mystery.
Driss took my Elvis and ran...
and the next person he saw
was you.
(LYRICS IN FRENCH)
(♪♪♪)
(GROANS)
Hey, get this cunt the fuck off me, will ya?
This is how you open a bottle of champagne.
You hold it firmly by the base...
you turn the bottle, not the cork.
Red wine should be held by the neck,
a woman by the waist
and a bottle of champagne by the derriere.
Mark Twain, very good.
Of course, those priorities can be rearranged later.
Glad to hear it.
I feel like I've been a little phony
with you in some way.
Playing a part. It's not me at all.
This isn't me either.
You know...
I didn't want to meet a married woman...
just 'cause I thought she'd be quick and--
We have our uses, don't we?
(BOTH GRUNTS)
(LAUGHS)
(BOTH LAUGHS)
(♪♪♪)
Hello? Hello?
Good morning.
I'm sorry, I don't speak Arabic.
Or Tamazight, I suppose, is the dialect.
(♪♪♪)
I see you come out for a walk.
Of course, you saw there's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.
I wasn't trying to run or hide. My things are all back--
Anouar will take you back to Azna.
(♪♪♪)
There you are.
Bit early in the day.
I haven't been to bed yet.
It's the gear for you.
-Been for a swim? -I feel rejuvenated.
So awake I'm dangerous.
Run with it. It won't last forever.
-What else have I missed? -I got waylaid by a Greek god.
And what does that mean exactly?
It means,
I've committed adultery with a ridiculous man...
as women always do.
Yeah, well, such things have been known to happen.
Not to me.
I'm glad. Don't mean about Tom.
I mean about you. Knocked David of his perch.
-That's a good thing, isn't it? -I wasn't thinking about David.
I was just thinking about myself for once.
-Are you going to divorce him? -I think I have to.
Might be for the best.
You didn't seem very happy. Didn't seem like you.
Guess we were an obvious couple.
All couples are rather obvious in the end.
-Twelve years after all. -Twelve years.
I guess it doesn't seem that long when you say it fast.
I was thinking none of this would have happened...
if we hadn't killed that boy.
-It would have just carried on. -Driss?
Boy's name was Driss.
(THUDS)
But you knew that already.
Driss Taheri.
What did you do with his ID, bury it?
JO: David, what the fuck? What the fuck are you doing?
That's all in the past.
The important thing is now, isn't it?
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(CRYING)
(GULPS)
(♪♪♪)
What cereal do you eat in the morning?
I don't eat breakfast. I'm usually too hungover.
I prefer cornflakes myself.
It is one good thing that you have given us,
apart from ice. (CHUCKLES)
I'm glad you like ice.
I like everything that is cool, cold and fresh.
You think I like to live in this furnace?
You think I like the camels, the palm trees...
and the 104 degrees every morning? Huh?
No, not at all.
I dream of Sweden most of the time.
Sweden?
Yeah. I've seen it in a colour magazine.
A fantastic place, by the looks of it.
It is the place I would most like to live.
Must be so deliciously cold there.
But the world does not promise anything to anyone...
and no man ever lived the way he wished.
(♪♪♪)
(GOATS BLEATING)
-Goats in a tree. -It's a fraud, David.
They don't climb up there on their own.
The old man in the shop will come out...
and ask you if you'd like your picture taken.
For a very small fee, of course.
Crooks, David. Tricksters.
-Breakfast! -DAVID: Where'd you get that?
(LAUGHS)
-It's good, huh? -It's good.
(♪♪♪)
Do you think Abdellah has forgiven me?
He could tell that you were sorry.
He judged you to be sincere.
-But does he forgive me? -I'm sure of it.
He must have forgiven you.
Otherwise you and I would not be drinking tea here in Alnif.
(LAUGHS)
Anouar...
It was my fault.
The accident.
It was 100% my fault.
I had been drinking all day.
I was driving too fast.
I was arguing with my wife.
Driss did nothing wrong...
except step into the road to try to make us slow down.
It was my fault.
Anouar...
It was my fault.
(♪♪♪)
Time to say goodbye, my friend.
Goodbye.
Why?
No reason.
Well, for Sweden.
You're a decent man, Anouar.
And you, David. You are an honourable one.
(♪♪♪)
-Richard sent you? -No, I saw the jeep.
So much for the welcoming committee.
Mrs. Henninger.
I believe she's in her room, sir.
David.
I never did ask your name.
-Hamid. -Cheers, Hamid.
(GROANS)
LORD SWANTHORNE: I knew Henninger a while back.
Never liked him much.
We went to the same school.
He was one of the old boys, somewhat notorious.
Really?
Did he lark about? Unnatural practices?
No, nothing of that sort.
More of an agitator apparently.
I was told he once put out a newspaper called
England without Darkies.
(BOTH LAUGHS)
The spoofs about people feeling ashamed of their
thinly veiled racism.
He should consider republishing.
No thin veils anymore.
-So he was a lefty then? -I suppose so.
Do you think they buried the Arab boy, all right?
Assume so.
It's the way they do things here.
Brush them under the carpet.
No one wants any trouble in the end.
I expect poor David...
had to bribe them up to the hilt.
Silly bugger. Cars do have brakes, you know?
It's been my attitude all along.
What?
-What is this? -A souvenir.
What happened out there?
The father wanted to talk to me, that's all.
-Did he ask for money? -DAVID: No.
I gave it to them anyway.
You find that hard to believe.
I don't know. Yeah, I'm a little surprised.
Anyway.
It's over.
Bags in cars.
Over here.
Okay, that's it. Cheese! Okay.
Is that it?
-That's it. -Yeah.
Ciao, bambina.
Thank you, boys. Ciao.
Flowers, please, Dally.
DALLY: Shame we didn't get any alone time.
Maybe just as well.
Give my best to Jo for me, will you?
-You know how I hate goodbyes. -Oh yeah, Tom. I know that.
-What are you doing? -I need a ride to Casablanca.
-Oh, yeah? -Yeah.
What have you done for me lately?
Mate, I can suck a golf ball through a fucking garden hose.
Yeah, that's what they all say. Get in.
-See you at Azrou for dinner. -We'll order the trout.
LORD SWANTHORNE: Maribel, get your pretty little bottom moving.
People are waiting.
-And where are you two off to? -MARIBEL: Tinghir.
The hotel de Sud or whatever it's called.
Maribel wants to experience the desert,
whatever the fuck that means. It was a great party, Dicky.
Delighted you could make it, your lordship.
I'd never throw these kinds of parties myself...
unless orgies could be arranged.
Alas, the age of orgies appears to have ended.
Arrivederci.
-Ciao. -Ciao, ciao, bambino.
Good to see ya!
(GRUNTS)
You were having a nightmare.
Yes.
So, why didn't you wake me?
Oh, I thought...
you're not supposed to wake people up--
That's sleepwalking, isn't it?
Sorry.
I was dreaming I was inside...
a giant Boeing turbine.
And I was supposed to clean the blades.
All I had was a toothbrush.
Suddenly, the turbines began to spin...
and I was shredded.
How do you know it was a Boeing turbine?
Good question.
You inspired?
Yeah, I have an idea for a new book.
Congratulations.
You know, we're more than happy for you to stay an extra night.
Makes more sense for you to start out early tomorrow.
No, I slept all afternoon. We'll drive through the night...
and get back to Tangier in a single leap I think.
I know what you're thinking,
but lightning doesn't strike twice.
Yeah, it does.
Well, we fixed the car as best we could.
There's a picnic hamper in the back seat.
The booze is nonalcoholic.
(BOTH LAUGHS)
Anyway...
It's all ended peacefully enough.
Not for the boy, I know, but...
for everyone else it could have been a lot worse.
They have any interest in carpets
out there out in the desert?
I've never seen anything from that far out.
I didn't notice the carpets.
Did you see Tom before he got off?
No.
He got off without us seeing him.
How'd he do that, Dicky?
Don't know. He's a slippery chap.
See him once a year and I never know who he is really.
-Who's Tom? -The American.
The American?
Oh, of course.
Give us a call when you get back.
We always worry until we know people are home safe.
And treat yourself to something nice in Tangier.
It does wonders, you know, a little retail therapy.
Will do that. Bye.
DALLY: Bye.
-Safe journey, David. -Goodbye, Hamid.
-What a ghastly weekend. -That French bitch.
Amazing people like that actually exist, isn't it?
Who was she with? Remind me.
The New York Times , Style section.
Thank God for that.
I thought you were going to say The Guardian.
I told Hamid to lock the place up,
outer gates and everything.
-Why'd you do that? -Just to be on the safe side.
(♪♪♪)
-We need to talk. -No we don't.
-Excuse me? -We don't need to talk.
Nobody needs to talk.
We can choose to talk or not talk.
Which I can assume you're choosing not to talk.
Your assumption is correct.
You don't even want to talk about your shirt?
-God, I hate Lou Reed. -It's Velvet Underground.
How can you hate Lou Reed?
-I think we should stop. -JO:What? Why?
It's where we hit him, Driss.
I think we should stop and pay our respects.
JO: There's someone in the road.
No, don't get out of the car.
David?
David.
Abdellah sent you.
(GASPS) David!
-It's all right. It's all right. -It's not-- It's not all right.
It's a fucking carjacking.
It's not a carjacking.
-Don't! -Do it.
No, David.
-Do it. -David!
Do it!
(GUNSHOT)
(GASPS)
(GASPING)
(SOBS)
(♪♪♪)