♪♪
- Okay, but this is just this Thursday?
This isn't every week?
Mm-hmm. Great.
Then, can you just stay three extra minutes into closing?
And you'll do a five-and-a-half-hour?
Yeah, it's cool. Great, thank you.
♪♪
No.
♪♪
♪ Happy birthday dear Tina ♪
And do they use Resy or Clover?
I think it was Resy. Yeah, Resy.
Great, we use Resy here, so that should be easy.
♪♪
Hey, how's it going?
Hey. Good, good.
I need you to do me a big favor.
Uh, gather all the troops around
before dinner service kicks in.
Sure, yeah. Is everything okay?
Yeah. Everything's okay.
Okay.
Alright, everybody's here.
Look, uh, I have a big announcement.
We're closing?
Jake, why would you say that?
I don't know.
Intuition?
Anyway, look, guys, now, a while back,
I heard there was a program that Tuscan Grove sponsored
where they take all the top managers from franchises
all over the country on a all-expense paid trip
to the Tuscan Grove Institute in Italy.
Uh, you learn about Italian cuisine and culture.
Uh, you stay in a villa.
It's a opportunity of a lifetime.
Now, Amber, you've been here for nine years.
Matter of fact, I hope she's here for nine more years.
Yeah...
You've shown grace under pressure.
You've ran this place like a perfectly run ship.
Amber...
pack your bags.
You're going to Italy next month.
What?! Congratulations.
Wha-- I -- Are you being serious?
Oh, my God!
I mean, I've never been to Europe before or anything.
Paul, I'm -- I'm so grateful to you for this, really.
Hey, look, this is an honor.
Like, this is not an easy program to get into.
Matter of fact, I had to write you a two-page essay.
That's how much I believe in you.
But seriously, get out of Bakersfield.
Go have some fun. Recharge, relax.
Have a little adventure.
And, look, don't worry about us here.
We'll manage. I don't know about that.
Whatever. Come here, give me a hug.
Aww.
- Damn, dude, this is the shit.
Wait, and you're gonna be staying in the villa?
Yeah. Oh!
I know.
What?
I have a feeling.
You know what? Nope, never mind.
Oh, my God, tell me.
You're gonna fucking fall in love.
Okay, I was kind of thinking that, too,
but it sounds so stupid.
No, it's not stupid.
Welcome to our table!
Hey, look, look. Oh, my God.
Enjoy oodles of noodles with our famous
classic spaghetti and meatballs,
our juicy and tender chicken parmesan,
or go succulent with my personal favorite,
creamy fettuccini Alfredo.
Plus, soup or salad.
And finish strong with our irresistible desserts.
Three full courses for just $13.95.
Best of all, all our pastas are all-you-can-eat.
Mama, don't stop there.
He's a growing boy!
Tuscan Grove.
Pull up a chair and mangia.
Whoa. Mm, maybe it's a sign.
Of what? How is that a sign?
Of synchronicity.
♪♪
Okay.
I am gonna miss you, too.
♪ Ooh-ahh-ooh ♪
♪ Ooh-ahh-ooooooooooh ♪
♪ Ooh-ahh-ooh ♪
I don't understand. They can't just lose my bags.
I mean, I hope they'll be able to get them to me.
♪ Ooh-ahh-ooh ♪
Hi, I'm Amber Ruffman.
Benvenuta, signorina.
Ciao.
Sono Craig e saro la vostra guida
per la prossima settimana
presso l'istituto del bosco toscano.
Mettete tutto qui per favore.
Oh, n-- Um, I-I don't speak Italian.
Were we supposed to learn Italian?
Ah. No, I'm just kidding.
I'm Craig. I'm your program supervisor.
But don't worry, I'm cool.
O-Okay. Hop in.
Thanks. Yeah.
Hi, I'm Jen.
Hi. Amber.
Did Craig do that thing where he was talking
in Italian to you, too?
Yeah. That was so funny!
I totally thought he was a real, authentic Italian guy
'cause of the beard and stuff, but I should have known,
'cause his name's Craig.
And, like, what Italian's named Craig?
Totally. I'm Deb.
Hey, I'm sorry about your bag.
I overheard. I'm Amber.
Oh, nice to meet you, Amber.
I had so many important things in my bag,
and now it's just --
I'm sure they'll find them.
Really? You think so?
Okay, ladies, before I forget,
if you could just hand me your passports,
I'll hold onto them before it's time to head home.
Yes, sir. Grazie.
Now you're mine.
He's so fun.
We're getting kidnapped.
♪ Ooh-ahh-ooh ♪
♪ Ooh-ahh-ooooooooooh
♪ Ooh-ahh-ooh ♪
♪ Ooh-ahh-ooooooooooh ♪
I am having so much fun.
This van is really great.
I just really need my stuff, you know?
And all the cars here are so boxy.
Well, anything you need, you can borrow from me.
I over-packed. I can?
Yeah. Really?
You would do that for me?
Of course. It's no biggie.
Gonna be fine.
I just really need to get my sleep or else I --
Oh, oh, I will be sleeping, too, when I --
Oh, my God, you guys, look.
Oh, my God, it's so beautiful.
No way. The villa.
It looks like a fairy tale.
It's even more magical in person.
It is.
Holy cannoli, right?
I feel like I'm in a movie.
Oh, wait. Where are we going?
I thought we're staying there?
Uh, yeah, no. It says in the brochure --
We have a hotel where our managers stay.
Don't worry, it's really nice.
Oh. Oh, wow.
That -- It --
So much brick.
♪♪
Okay.
♪♪
Buon giorno, party people.
- Buon giorno.
It's so great to be with you.
Welcome here to giorno uno.
That's day one of the Tuscan Grove
Institute Exemplary Managers' Program.
You should all be very proud of yourselves.
We're gonna have a lot of fun here --
eat a lot of great food, learn about Italian culture,
and most importantly, grow as people.
But first, everyone introduce yourselves.
Tell us your name, where you're from,
and a fun fact about yourself.
Okay, that's dry. I'll start.
I'm Craig.
I, uh, come from Cincinnati, Ohio.
But, uh, I've been living
that ex-pat life for eight years.
And, uh, let's see --
my -- my great uncle invented skorts.
"Sports"?
Skorts. Okay.
Um, my name's Fran,
and you all probably recognize me
from "Chef's Challenge."
And, uh --
Well, anyways, I think of myself
as more than just a manager.
I guess I'm a bit of a foodie.
I've been dabbling in molecular gastronomy
and, I don't know, just happy to be here
to share my expertise with y'all.
Oh.
Um, I'm Dana, and, um,
I've loved Tuscan Grove since I was a kid.
And I guess you could say
that Nick Martucci's kind of my idol.
Just the way he, um --
he built this business from scratch.
And he stars in those beautiful commercials.
Um, I don't know --
I-I'm just really psyched to be here.
I don't know.
I'm Jen.
Uh, I'm from Oakland, California,
and I am very -- - Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry, I forgot.
I'm from Tenafly, New Jersey.
Please continue.
Did you -- Sorry, no, no. You can go.
Um, I am really over the moon to be here.
I feel very connected to all of you guys already, like,
in this cosmic way.
Like we met in a past life or something,
and that's, like, very exciting.
And -- Oh, fun fact about me is, I used to be a twin.
Uh, almost, because my sister died in utero.
Cool.
That's not really a fun fact, but, okay.
Hi, everybody. My name is Deb.
I lost my bags at the airport,
and I had all these really important things in my suitcase.
I called this woman with the airlines and I spoke to her,
and she was very rude to me.
And she has no idea when I'm gonna get my bags back,
or if they'll ever find them again.
So, I just feel like I'm not being very fun.
Mm.
But, um, I really appreciated Amber.
She was so kind, and you told me
that you could lend me clothes, and I really appreciate that.
You seem like a nice person.
Thank you.
W-W-Well, I'm Amber.
I'm from Bakersfield, California.
Um, this is my first time traveling outside the U.S.
I've worked at Tuscan Grove for nine years.
I technically took a year off to open a restaurant, um,
with tablets at every table,
but my ex put all the debt on my credit cards
and killed my credit, and it went under, so I'm back.
And... now I'm here.
Alright. Well, okay -- Okay, so I'm Susie.
Oh, sorry. I'm so sorry.
Um, I'm from San Antonio, Texas, so, "Go, Spurs."
Um, yeah, I don't know --
I've been at Tuscan Grove for, like, ever --
since I was a little kid, like, I've been working there.
I mean, not, like, for real-for real.
Just for fun. It's not like child labor.
Um, but, like, my parents and my, like, aunt and uncle,
they all have a franchise, and they've had it forever.
So, it's like all of us work there -- my cousins --
There's 23 of us, like, all together.
We're just, like, a big family,
but we're all, like, really close.
They're, like, my best friends.
Oh, I love family.
Yeah, no, I mean, family rips.
- Great.
So, now that we got the fun stuff out of the way,
I gotta -- I have to put on my serious hat.
Italy's a magnificent country,
but, uh, it can also be dangerous.
That's why we have a strict curfew.
How is Italy dangerous, Craig?
Uh, well, you know, there's a lot of unpaved roads here,
so you could slip and fall.
You could, uh -- You could get lost.
There are boars.
Boars? Yeah.
There's no leaving the TG Institute while you're here,
except for official field trips, which are so fun.
Yeah, okay, now I can take the serious hat off
and I can put my fun hat back on
and introduce a very special guest.
Uh, please welcome one of the most important members
of the Tuscan Grove family.
She is personally responsible
for designing the official TG menu.
No way. Liz Bence is here?
Lizzie Bence.
Oh, holy shit.
Uh, I'm gonna faint.
- Oh, please don't do that. That's way too much pressure.
Welcome, everyone.
Congratulations on making the cut.
And speaking of cutting, you all look hungry.
Let's get to the kitchen. Come on.
Ooh!
Alright, this is interesting.
What is the different between a ragu and a Bolognese?
You don't have to raise your hand.
Sorry, um, a Bolognese is from Bologne?
Yes. What else? What else?
Ingredients?
Yes, but, uh, specifically.
Sauce?
Well, you're gonna use a red wine for ragu and white wine...
Uh, and white wine for Bolognese.
...for Bolognese.
- That's so interesting.
Ooh, I love this. This is fun.
Would that look cute?
Yeah, you can take it -- sure.
I think it would be so cute with my jeans, you know?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, and there's some sweats to sleep in, if you want.
Thank you so much. I really like you, Amber.
Yeah. So, do you have a boyfriend back home?
No, definitely not.
Oh, that's okay. You're still young, you know?
You got plenty of time.
You should just have fun while you're here
and sow your wild oats,
'cause that's what I'm gonna do.
But I'm actually married, though.
Oh. My husband, Hank, is wonderful.
He's -- He's really good for me.
We actually have a really good relationship -- very solid.
You're gonna find love, Amber. I can feel it.
A lot of my friends say I'm really intuitive.
And you're my friend now, so, mm.
Oh, I just need to get this. Are you good?
Oh, yeah, I'll just finish up.
Hi. Hi!
Oh, my God, how is it? Tell me everything.
It's r-really great.
"Really great"? Come on, that's it?
Come on, i-i-is it insane? How are the people?
Are there any assholes?
Have you hooked up with anybody? Come on!
Oh, my God, I've been here one day.
Hold on.
Hey, do you have everything you need?
Oh, yeah. This is so cute.
My husband actually loves when I wear
really revealing and sexy stuff.
Not that I would ever do anything while I'm here,
but, you know...
Uh, d-d-d-do you need anything else?
'Cause I'm just gonna talk to my friend right now.
No, it's fine. Oh.
It's actually really good for my self-esteem, though,
because I love getting attention from men,
and it's like that kind of sexual energy, flirty --
Just makes my body feel good.
And then you kind of, like,
bring that energy back to the marriage.
So it's -- it's, like, healthy.
Totally.
S-Sorry, so,
it's just that my friend is calling long-distance.
Oh, sorry. Oh, yeah, okay.
Oh, sure, sure. I'll get out of here.
Okay. Just want this.
Sorry. It's okay.
Here. Let me get my purse.
Would you care if I take a few hangers?
Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They didn't put any hangers in my room, so --
It's so annoying.
This is so cute. Can I take it?
Ooh, i-it's just my only jacket.
Oh, okay, no problem. Okay.
Okay, bye. Okay, good night.
I'll see you in the van tomorrow morning.
I'll see you then.
Okay.
Oh, it doesn't lock. Huh?
It doesn't lock. You can just open it.
That's so weird. I know.
Okay. Good night, Amber.
Good night.
Bye.
What was that?
Jesus.
♪♪
I know, yeah.
♪♪
Hey, little guy.
- Right, so you wear the ring to sleep,
and then it just tracks, like, how much
REM sleep you get, how much deep sleep you get.
And you're supposed to get like an hour and a half of REM
or whatever, but -- - Amber, I saved a seat for you.
♪♪
Can you just get one more?
I just want to make sure you get my good side.
- Yeah. Okay.
That look good? Natural? Yeah.
I just want one good one.
Does that look okay?
- It says, "Medieval times, a piazza had served
as a central social and economic meeting place
in Italian cities and towns.
Farmer's markets are the traditional way
that townspeople purchased all their produce.
Hmm, that's just so interesting, isn't it?
I didn't know any of that. No.
All the fruits and vegetables that you see --
I think I'm gonna go.
Are you okay here? Yeah.
-Okay. -Local farmers and growers.
And you know, th-- the reason that Italian food
always tastes so good, it's not --
it's not just the fresh ingredients that they use.
It's also the soil.
Here, just take one of me.
The soil imparts...
From low -- from a low angle.
Oh, my God, is it -- it's just us?
Mm. Um --
Uh, the soil really imparts this really distinctive,
very rich flavors.
Eh, I'm Karl Marx.
You wanna go to, like, a flea market
or a thrift store or something?
Uh, yeah.
And really quick, like, why don't we ask around
and see if there's anything cool to do?
♪♪
Yeah, this took a lot of work.
This detail here, the hooves, snout --
it's like a 4-hour procedure.
Wow, you must really like pigs.
Yeah -- to eat. It's the best.
I mean, aren't they supposed to be, like, really smart?
Yeah, I heard they're really smart.
- Yeah, supposedly, they're as smart as dogs.
-So, what? -Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Craig, I'm so sorry.
Oh, my God, what's in all those bags?
Well, I bought some new clothes
so I don't have to keep wearing yours.
Boom. Let's hit it. Andiamo.
- Fashion show.
Most of our classic TG chicken dishes like a Milanese,
a parmigiana, include traditional Italian seasonings,
which is made up of rosemary, basil, marjoram, sage, thyme.
But our Crazy Calabrese lasagna has red pepper flakes, right?
'Cause that gives it that kick that we all love so much.
Do you wanna, um, try the marjoram,
or whatever it's called? Yeah, sure.
When she first said it, I thought she meant "margarine."
Just 'cause it -- Yeah, me, too.
I was literally like,
"Wait, is margarine an Italian spice?"
"Yeah, here's this cool Italian herb.
It's called butter." -Shh.
Uh... Sorry.
And, of course, at our stateside locations,
we exclusively use the prepackaged...
Ladies. Ladies, just respect the herbs.
- You know, speaking of respecting the herbs,
um, do you mind if I take the stage?
Or the, uh, sage?
Okay.
Listen, gang, I-I want to apologize
if I've come across as aloof.
I don't know, it's the jet lag or something.
But I-I want to try to be more available for you guys.
And -- And, Liz, I love what you're doing,
but maybe we should try thinking outside the box.
Let's take bruschetta.
Um, why don't we try flipping it on its ear?
Do you have a, uh, -- a chinoise for the foam?
And gelatin -- I need to bloom the gelatin.
No, I don't have that.
Okay, well, we can use some egg whites
to give it some more body.
Beautiful six-pack here.
Where's my plate? Okay.
Actually, you know what? We'll just use the whole egg.
Get some of that protein from the yolk.
Oop, okay.
Get this working here.
And what about some liquid nitrogen?
Do you have some some liquid nitrogen here?
It's really not that kind of kitchen.
Alright, let's use some milk, then.
And, okay. We're mixing.
You gotta get a real, real quick mix going.
-What? -Is this really happening?
Oh, I know it's, uh -- it's not pretty,
but we're improvising.
We're making it work.
Fran, you maybe want to stop macerating right now.
I would like to introduce to you a very special guest.
He is our C.E.O. and our founder...
Oh, Jesus. ...and my dear, dear friend.
Nick Martucci.
Ciao, amici!
-Ciao. -Whoo!
Hey, don't stop on my account.
Oh, okay.
I'm just, uh, whipping up a little foam here.
More of an emulsion, actually.
I'm sure it'll be amazing.
Thank you. Yeah.
Well, I was in the neighborhood. I figured I'd drop in.
Isn't this so cool?
I mean, normally, I'm not here in the off-season,
but I figured, for this group, I'd make an exception.
Oh, hey. Hey, Nick.
What's up? I'm Susie.
Susie? Mm-hmm.
That's a beautiful name. Alright.
I'm Nick. I'm -- I'm Jen.
Your name is Nick.
Hi, Nick.
You have exquisite hands.
Thank you.
Uh...
I-I love you.
Thank you.
Oh, I'm sorry.
No, it's an honest mistake.
I've never been to Europe before.
No need to apologize.
She looks so much like Connie, huh?
I'm Amber.
Well, it's nice to meet you.
Hey, Amber. Hey.
I'm, uh, Fran.
Thank you all for coming all the way over here.
We're so appreciative of everything
that you've done for our family.
Turns out, I'm gonna be around a little bit this week,
so I'm excited to get to know you a little better.
This is my assistant, Kat.
If you need anything, feel free to approach her
and let her know.
She handles all my business.
How about a group shot?
Yeah, let's do it.
Come on. -Yes.
-Gnocchi. -Gnocchi.
Okay, everyone say "formaggi."
-Formaggi. -Formaggi.
Mwah. Bene.
Okay, now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna catch up with you guys in the A.M.
-Alright. -Thank you, Nick.
Bye.
- Ooh, well...
That was a lot, huh?
Is everybody okay?
So, Nick.
Boy, he was definitely
feeling a little something extra, hmm?
-Well, I -- -Ah.
- Oh. Who's Connie?
I don't know.
I kissed him right on the lips.
You did.
Hey, you're Amber, right? Yeah.
Cool. Do you want to take a smoke break?
Oh, um -- Just come with me.
Okay.
- Now, um, one of the things that is --
There you go.
That I love about the red pepper is that --
Oh, I don't really smoke.
Don't inhale, then.
Okay.
I t-- I only ever smoked
for, like, two weeks in high school,
and I smoked cloves 'cause I thought it was so cool.
And I would just, like, drive around in my car
with my cigarette hanging out the window
but, like, so nauseous.
And then, my mom found the cigarettes in my purse
and, like, asked if I was smoking.
And I said no, and then I just, like, burst into tears.
I felt so bad about lying.
Just -- That's cool.
Me crying is cool?
No, sorry.
I'm just kind of out of it right now.
Oh, from traveling.
No. Nope, all we fuckin' do is travel.
Yeah, like, I can't even remember the last time
we were in one place for more than a week.
That sounds fun.
Yeah, it can be.
It can also suck -- majorly.
I'm sorry, I'm, like, dumping all my shit on you,
and we just met.
Oh, my God, you can dump shit on me.
Yeah?
What are you doing tonight?
Do you have plans?
No. I mean, I don't know.
I don't think we're allowed to, like, plan our own stuff.
No, fuck that. You're with me.
I actually know this really cool spot in Lucca.
Okay, great.
I wanna go to a cool spot in Lucca.
Plus, Craig says we should all stick together, right?
Can I bum a square?
- Here we go -- first one.
Okay. There we go.
Uh...
Marjoram?
No.
Mint?
No.
Pine? Mm, no.
Hey, everybody.
Amber, Kat, and I are gonna go to a really cool bar in Lucca
tonight if anybody wants to come with us.
Okay, no. That's not gonna happen.
So, to be crystal clear, none of us are going to leave
the TG campus except the -- Oh, Craig, it'll be fun!
You gotta live a little, baby.
-I'm trying to go. -Uh, no.
It's the birth place of Puccini.
Deb. Deb, that's not permitted.
What's not permitted?
Smoking.
What?
Deb? Put it out.
Oh, my God, so serious.
Craig, we're in Europe, if you didn't know,
and you need to lighten up a little bit, please.
This is a working kitchen.
Put it out.
Fine.
-Cool, so, Lucca? -Yeah, can we go?
Alright, guys, I'll make you a deal.
We can go... -Yes!
-Let's go.
...to the bar right here. What the fuck, Craig?
What kind of deal is that, Craig?
I don't know what to tell you. We're not going to Lucca.
Them's the rules, alright?
I brought some molly,
and Jen and I are gonna roll tonight.
I don't know if you wanna...
We'll just see. Okay.
Yeah, no pressure.
What are you guys talking about?
Oh, my God, look at them.
...my eyes.
We have the same face!
Ugh, they are so annoying.
It's so depressing.
When I first got to Italy,
I had men that were, like, chasing me down the streets.
You know, th-they would -- they would cat-call me.
They -- They would just, like, reach out
and take big ol' handfuls of my ass.
Oh, no.
No, it was great. It was great.
I walk down the street now, I'm completely invisible.
People, like, settin' drinks on my head like I'm a table.
I don't even get whistled at anymore.
Or that thing, you know -- I don't -- With the --
You know, the fingers and the tongue?
This thing? I never get that.
Ew, they did that?
Yeah.
Oh, my God. God, I miss that.
Sucks we're not going to Lucca.
You know, Lucca's the porn capital of Italy?
Except they wear masks to hide their identities.
Why do you know that?
I'm sorry your plan got all fucked up.
I really do want to check out that bar you were talking about.
No, it's totally fine.
We'll go another time. Totally.
Um, tell me more about your -- your traveling.
What's your all-time favorite place?
Mm...
been so many places.
Oh, this one time, I was living abroad in the Andes,
and I hiked up the cape to Pachamama high on coca.
Coca?
Yeah, you need the coca to survive the soroche.
What's that? Altitude sickness.
We were at 3,200 meters,
so you definitely need the coca.
Anyway, it was the solstice, right?
So it was like the one day out of the entire year
where the sunlight hits both of the ovary rooms
at the same time.
Yeah, I've been on a real Latin American kick.
Totally.
Have you read García Márquez?
Mnh-mnh. Don't think so.
Well, I've been reading "News of a Kidnapping."
It's about all these people
that were kidnapped by Pablo Escobar.
It's brutal.
It's not like any of his other magical, realist shit.
It's like totally fucked up.
Whoa.
Sounds fucked up. Yeah.
It's wild how much better the food is here, right?
Fran, this olive, these chips --
it is like I've never had an olive before.
It's like -- it's like I've never had chips before.
Yeah, but in my younger days,
I was definitely rougher around the edges,
you know what I mean? Mm-hmm.
Like, you know, I got in some trouble all the time,
did some stuff I'm not proud of.
Yeah, yeah.
So, Bakersfield.
Yeah.
It's, uh -- It's pretty lame.
I don't know, it sounds kind of exotic to me.
Mm, there's no... ovary rooms.
It's Nick. I gotta go.
Everything okay?
Yeah, just the usual shit.
Well, this was really fun.
Sorry it was co-opted by...
Yeah, it's cool.
But how about next time, we keep it just us?
For sure.
Bye.
♪♪
- What's your favorite pasta?
Because mine has been spaghetti my whole life.
- Spaghetti?
Eh, no, it's not spaghetti.
You've never heard of my favorite pasta.
Wait, look, guys.
Nick's in the study working.
That must be important.
The study? What is this, "Clue"?
He's killing Colonel Mustard with the, uh, lead pipe?
Yeah, no, I just know a lot
about the layout of his house because I'm a big --
You know a lot about the layout of his house?
Yeah, I've done a bunch of searches
and look at pictures.
Okay, well, that's not creepy.
Is it creepy?
Get dressed.
W-Why? What are you --
Shh. We don't want to wake the others.
Just get dressed and come with me.
Am I in trouble?
No.
I thought you said you weren't reading anything?
Wow.
♪♪
Should I have brought my bathing suit?
No, you'll be cool.
Yeah, so, this is Liguria,
so if someone offers you pesto, just fucking take it.
♪♪
Hi.
Buon giorno.
Welcome aboard my humble abode.
Oh, no. No, I'm sorry.
That was so stupid.
Wow.
Alright, so, I'll see you back here same spot tonight?
Oh, yeah. You're not gonna come?
Nah. Have fun, though.
Ok-- Oh.
Must be so exciting for you.
Oh, my God, yes. This is awesome.
Oh, you gotta take your shoes off.
Unless they're new.
Oh, yeah.
♪♪
This is amazing.
♪♪
So, how's the program treating you?
Are you having fun?
Um, it's awesome. It's so awesome.
Honestly, it's just so nice to be in another country.
Right, it must be strange for you,
never having been outside of the States, huh?
Yeah. I sometimes take it for granted.
Bakersfield, huh?
Yeah.
This is...much better.
I'm glad you're enjoying it.
I am -- I really am.
I-I want to see and do everything.
I just want to, like, appreciate every moment --
even though I know that sounds dumb or whatever.
I don't think that sounds dumb.
Take it all in.
Maybe I could show you the Amalfi Coast sometime.
That'll really blow your mind.
Hey, I want to show you something.
I got these from a fisherman friend of mine
this morning in La Spezia.
Oh.
Amber...
tell me -- why are you here?
Your boat?
You invited me.
No, why are you here?
On this trip? I'm confused.
I-I mean, my boss at home recommended me.
Why are you so guarded?
I don't think I'm guarded. Do you think I'm guarded?
If you could be famous, would you?
Um, no.
What a random question.
Why not?
I don't know, I-I mean,
I don't really have any special talents or anything.
But I don't think that makes me guarded.
Before you make a call,
do you rehearse what you're gonna say?
S-Sometimes, yeah.
Pr-- I mean, I guess, if -- if it's an important call.
Mm.
What roles do love and affection play in your life?
Wow.
S-Sorry, w-where is this going?
I mean, you know, I don't know.
I love my family.
I love my cat, Stevie.
She's rea-- No, I mean romantically.
I-I don't really have that in my life right now.
I-I-I kind of went through a bad break-up
a few months ago.
He was really controlling and, like --
I don't know, he just made me feel,
like, really bad about myself a lot.
Um, and I don't think I was great for him, either.
I was, like, always trying to break up with him,
and he was constantly, like,
talking me back into the relationship.
It just made me feel like love is supposed to be
really hard work
and, like, that no one would ever love me
without makeup on, and...
Wow, that's really horrible.
You didn't deserve that.
Yeah, so, I guess I'm just -- I'm kind of glad
not to have love in my life right now, you know?
I get to just be myself and have fun.
So, there's been nobody else?
Oh, God, no.
I mean, you know, if anything like that's come up,
I've kind of just shut it down.
Um...so maybe I am a little guarded.
I don't know.
Yeah, that's really hard.
No -- I mean, it's fine.
Like, I'm okay. It happens.
I'm -- I'm here.
Hmm.
I mean, what about you?
Right after my sister died...
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I-I --
It was the hardest thing that I've ever been through.
Everything else pales in comparison --
meeting prime ministers, dignitaries;
pitching VCs; filming commercials.
Nothing phases me anymore.
Sorry, I-I d-- I don't -- I don't ever...
It's okay.
♪♪
Um, I was in a -- a bad place.
I was really searching for something deeper --
something less lonely.
I wanted to open myself up and not feel limited
by conventional attitudes and moorings.
And I found myself, one night,
uh, in a group situation...
Feeling I was rising up out of my body...
All this, like, intertwining...
Beautiful skin.
♪♪
You know, you start...
I don't know what...
♪♪
Such an amazing way
to sustain bliss, you know?
♪♪
Maybe I could show you.
Yeah, totally.
I'm really happy you're here, Amber.
♪♪
I guess Kat's gotta get you back.
This was incredible.
Wow.
It was. Thank you so much.
My pleasure.
Okay, okay!
Jesus.
Hey, listen, um, my friend Ricky's
having this little party tomorrow night.
He's a sculptor -- super talented.
Maybe you'd want to join?
If it's not too much.
No, yeah.
Amazing. I-I'd love to.
Great.
So...
it's a date?
Yes.
Great.
Oh, wait, one more thing.
It's probably best if we keep this to ourselves,
'cause I don't want the other managers
thinking you're getting special treatment.
Of course.
Okay.
Oh.
That was so amazing. I can't even believe it.
Yeah.
Just make sure to keep it on the DL.
Right. Totally.
Yeah, and he, like, asked me all these intimate questions,
and he really opened up to me
about his family and his pain.
Wait, wait, his pain?
Yes, it was crazy.
Like, don't tell anyone,
but he told me about his sister who died, and then we kissed.
And then, he invited me to this artist party
tomorrow night as his date.
Wait, what the fuck?
So you're just, like, riding on yachts
and you're, like, his girlfriend now?
Okay, no, I'm not his girlfriend.
We just had an amazing day.
Oh, my God, is he as hot in person?
Um, yeah.
Oh, my God, I'm so jealous of you.
You're just gonna be, like, flying all over the world
with your rich boyfriend,
meeting famous artists on yachts and shit.
I told you this shit was gonna happen.
He's not my boyfriend.
Okay, that's your boyfriend.
How is that, Jen?
It's a little hard.
Well, that's what we refer to as al dente.
It's actually the ideal texture and doneness.
It's actually kind of gross, this texture.
Yeah, it's really gross. It's just, like, too bouncy.
But it's ideal.
Yeah, like, it's supposed to be mushier.
Warm cat food or something.
Yeah, like, right. Well, not like -- It's like --
You know when you chew or eat, like, an eraser,
it kind of tastes like -- Yeah.
Who would ever have pasta like this?
Alright, you guys can take your seats now.
Okay.
Amber, how you feeling today?
Uh, great.
You sure?
You still don't have that migraine?
Oh, yeah.
I-I do.
Okay, hmm.
Well, maybe you should go back to your room and get some rest.
Yeah, that sounds great.
To, like -- to get rest.
Mm-hmm.
Glad she's getting some rest.
- Hey, Craig, when is Ms. Bence coming back?
Oh, she won't be coming back.
- She gone.
Now, who knows what to do with the water?
Do we pour out the water, or do we use it for later?
I could show you a better way to boil.
Oh. Hey.
Jesus.
Nick sent me to escort you to Ricky's party.
Great. Um, let me just, I think,
run to my room and change, and I'll meet you outside?
Nah, don't worry about that.
We got you.
We need to be discreet.
Totally.
♪♪
I don't know. Is it too much?
E assolutamente fighissima, vero?
Si, si, si.
Yeah, si, si.
No, that's the one. We're getting that.
Oh, Kat, I can't afford this.
Oh, don't worry. It's Nick's treat.
Che romantico. "Pretty Woman," no?
Tranne che non è una prostituta.
-What?
Okay. Okay.
We're good.
♪♪
You want a drink? Yes, please.
♪♪
La mia tartarughina...
Hi.
Oh, you look so beautiful.
Been thinking about you non-stop.
Me, too. I had so much fun.
♪♪
Here.
Come here, I want to introduce you to some of my friends.
Okay.
There he is.
Amber, Amber, this is Ricky.
Oh, hi. This is his party.
Oh, whoa.
We've been pals for a long time now.
Mm-hmm.
He's almost as good at sculpting
as he is at throwing parties.
I'm also a repository for Nicky's dirty secrets.
Easy.
T-Thank you so much for having me.
Your place is unreal.
Well, thanks for crashing the party.
Just fucking with you.
Oh.
Nicky, you were not kidding.
Her skin is so luminous.
Look at this.
Oh.
Wow, do you model?
N-- Oh, no, never.
Never?
That's such a shame.
You seem very open-minded.
Open to new experiences, am I right?
Well, I was open to coming on this trip.
She's funny, too.
Amber, uh, this is Danny, Marcello, Wendy, Frank.
Ciao.
And this is my son, Giorgio, and his lover, Vale.
Ciao. Oh.
So nice to meet you.
It's my pleasure.
And, uh, these here are my first loves.
No offense to Giorgio.
This is my early work.
Oh, wow. Would you like a little tour?
Yes. That okay with you?
You don't mind sharing?
So, this piece was made to honor
the victims of Amatrice.
God, what a tragedy. Mm.
Ah, the fragility of, uh, flesh.
This piece here, this is from a series
that was commissioned by Sir Richard Branson.
Cool. Yeah.
He's a great guy -- really down to earth.
This one's my favorite.
You have great taste, Nicky.
This was three weeks after giving birth to Giorgio.
I mean, it's amazing how resilient our bodies are, hmm?
Oh, Amber, uh, this is my wife, Sofia.
Oh, hi.
Come, let's go and sit.
Yeah, go. I'll find you.
Got it. Okay.
Have fun.
Oh.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Stay. Hmm.
Nicky speaks so highly of you.
It's adorable.
He never speaks highly of anyone, it's so strange.
Really?
Well, he's been really sweet and -- and so generous.
Yeah, he's like that.
You seem so open-minded.
Why does everyone keep telling me that?
Oh, G-- Oh, m-- There you are.
I was looking all over for you.
Uh-oh.
Stage-one clinger.
Oh, no, I'm -- I'm not --
Oh, you're just a little turtle
being forced out of your shell?
I -- No, I'm k-- I'm totally kidding.
Oh, my God, I'm -- I'm totally kidding.
Okay.
Oh, you look so beautiful.
Thank you.
Come on, baby turtle, I wanna show you something.
♪ Never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance ♪
♪ And looking for a little romance ♪
♪ Given half a chance ♪
I requested this just for you.
Oh, 'cause of my dress?
♪ Or the highlights in your hair ♪ Yeah.
♪ That catch your eyes ♪
♪ I have been blinded ♪
♪ The lady in red ♪
♪ Is dancing with me ♪
♪ Cheek to cheek ♪
Fuck.
♪ There's nobody here ♪
You look so much like her.
Like who?
♪ It's just you and me ♪
My sister. Connie.
It's uncanny.
Right, I'm sorry.
No. I'm sorry.
♪ This beauty by my side ♪
You just captivate me.
♪ I'll never forget ♪
It scares me.
Bri-- Brings up all these -- all these feelings --
Hey, may I?
♪ Oooooh oooooh ♪
You smell so good.
♪ I've never seen you looking so gorgeous ♪
♪ As you did tonight ♪
♪ I've never seen you shine so bright ♪
♪ You were amazing ♪
♪ Never seen so many people ♪
Excuse me, Ricky, I'd like to cut in, alright?
♪ And when you turn to me and smile ♪
♪ Took my breath away ♪
You know, your name in Italian would be "Ambra."
Really? That's cool. ♪ I have never had such a feeling ♪
- Hey.
♪ Such a feeling of complete... ♪
Don't worry, I --
Na puttana!
Oh -- Puttana!
♪ Is dancing with me ♪
Hey, follow me.
Vale! Vale!
- Where's Nick?
Just keep it moving.
Okay. You okay?
I don't know.
Vale, Vale, Vale.
Vale, Vale --
I'm so, so sorry. I really fucked this up.
Are you okay? Yeah, I think so.
I'm such a fucking --
I had such a lovely time with you.
I really, really don't want that to scare you.
Did it scare you? Are you scared?
Uh, please don't be scared.
It's okay, I'm okay. Oh, we're good, Nick.
We gotta get a move on, okay?
I-I'll see you soon, okay?
-Vale! -Go, go, go, go.
♪ Lady in red ♪
What a shit show.
Are you hungry?
I don't know what I am.
Do you want to get a nightcap?
I know a really good place.
- This used to be
the number-one restaurant in the world.
Now it's number three. Oh.
It's still just as good.
Alright, just go along with whatever I say, okay?
It'll be cool. Cool.
- Vivo.
Pretend to pour a salt shaker onto your tongue.
Really? Yeah.
Grazie.
I told him we were really hungry.
Eh, voilà.
Wow, this looks incredible.
There you go. Told you.
Oh, my God.
Mm-hmm. It's so good.
I know.
Just hurry up and eat before he gets back.
Why?
You don't want to have to pay for this.
I thought it was free. Don't you know that guy?
Yeah, he's a fucking scumbag.
Just eat. Come on, let's go.
Come on.
♪♪
No, no, no.
♪♪
Hey.
Ah! Ah!
♪♪
That was fucking badass.
I wanna fucking kill that guy.
Let's get out of here.
Move!
You're really...
kind of intense.
Does it scare you?
Kind of.
♪♪
Wait, wait, wait.
Oh, I don't know -- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm a little confused.
I just --
All that shit with Nick earlier, you know?
It just fucking -- just kind of threw me.
Are you for real? Nick? I don't know.
I don't -- you know --
Can I, like --
We have, like, a thing. I-I don't --
Yeah, no, Nick's a fucking baby.
He's incapable of caring about anyone but himself.
He's just, like, tripping on you
because of his sister.
But --
I-I mean...you're not there. I don't --
No, Amber, he does this with everyone.
You're not special. It's, like, his M.O.
Look, I'm sorry. Maybe we should just head back.
Okay, cool.
Kat -- No, it's cool.
Let's get you back.
- It's bullshit, man.
What does this have to do with cooking?
-Just fucking do it, Fran. -Hey, guys.
- Um, we're doing trust falls. If you want, I can --
Sorry, I guess I overslept.
Glad you're feeling better.
Hey, where's Susie?
She wasn't feeling well,
so I said she could take the day off.
She seemed all right to me last night,
if you know what I mean. What do you mean?
Nothing, I just, you know, mean she didn't seem sick --
literally. Mm-hmm.
What?
♪♪
Susie. - Amber?
Oh. You scared me.
Can we talk? Sure.
Why aren't we as close as we used to be?
What do you mean? You didn't tell me you weren't feeling well.
You didn't tell me any of that.
And where were you coming from before?
You should tell me these things.
We're friends. We used to be close.
We would tell each other everything. Remember that?
You weren't with Jen and Susie, were you? No.
Don't lie. No.
If you're fucking lying, I will find out in one minute.
I just overslept, is all.
And let me tell you something else --
it gets back to me that you're going around
snitching, gossiping,
and telling everyone that I need what's in my suitcase.
I'm doing fine with my new pills, okay?
So stop gossiping about me, you little bitch.
I'm sorry. Say it again.
I'm sorry.
What are you sorry for?
Everything?
Good. Okay, fine.
Apology accepted, bitch.
-So we had the mice infestation. -Yeah.
Vermin are a big no-no with the health inspectors.
Hey. Hey.
It was raining so much, we had black mold.
Hey, where's Susie?
I think she's really sick, right?
Mm, mm. It's sad.
You know, I thought I saw her leave yesterday with Kat.
With Kat? Mm --
Mm, yeah, I don't know.
Really? You don't know anything about that?
Not, like, maybe --
She's sick. Chill, okay?
- Morning, bambini.
- Morning.
So, we're gonna watch a video today --
"Life is Beautiful."
You couldn't find that on laser disc, there, Craig?
It stars Roberto Benini.
Anyone seen it? I have, Craig.
Okay, yeah, I haven't seen it, either, but it got some Oscars.
It's supposed to be a banger.
Craig, I feel really sick.
I just f-- I don't feel good.
Oh, no. You need to excuse yourself?
Uh, yeah, I'm sorry. Is that okay?
I mean, I don't want you to miss out.
This is supposed to be hysterical.
I just think I need to, like, rest, you know?
Are they telling you to say this?
Just fucking drop it.
I gotcha. Feel better, Jen.
Okay. Bye, guys.
I'll miss you guys.
Ugh, don't worry about me. I'm okay.
- Boy, they're really dropping like flies, huh?
Hey, maybe we should go whip up
some wellness shots or something, you know?
Like, in the kitchen? Like, make something, Craig?
Can I talk to you outside for a second?
Showing a movie to kill some time?
Okay.
This is some substitute teacher bullshit, Craig.
Here. Oh, I-I don't really smoke.
It was subterfuge.
Just don't inhale.
Okay, um...
Listen...
I think something weird might be going on.
What do you mean?
Well, don't you think it's weird that Liz Bence
suddenly disappeared with no explanation?
I guess. Is it weird?
And then, like, we haven't seen Susie in two days.
And, like, Jen is suddenly acting so strange,
and she's not feeling well.
Like, you had a bad migraine for two days,
and I looked it up, 'cause I was worried.
And -- And I found, normally,
they only last for four hours.
Why are all the women in this program
suddenly getting sick?
I mean, have you talked to Deb recently?
Something is definitely going on with her.
So, maybe it wasn't a migraine.
Maybe it was something else.
Like what?
Poison.
Poison? Think about it.
Liz Bence was making all our food, right?
Mm-hmm. Then, she disappears.
All of a sudden, all of the women in the program
are dropping like flies.
Okay, I didn't actually have a migraine.
That was just something I said to cover
what was really going on.
Okay, well, what was really going on?
Remember Kat?
Nick's assistant? Of course.
Well, she secretly took me to Nick's boat.
What? Yeah.
She, like, made up this whole scenario
so I could spend the day with Nick,
and we went out on his huge yacht.
And, like, then she drove me back here afterwards,
and they both told me not to tell anybody.
But, like, Kat is kinda sketchy.
Like, she and Nick have a super volatile relationship.
Like, she kind of hates him.
You spent the day on Nick's yacht, just the two of you?
Y-Yeah, and -- and what I'm saying is...
Wow. Yeah. ...Kat...
Yeah, yeah, that's fun.
A boat day, that's cool.
Okay, Dana? Listen to me.
What I'm trying to say is that Kat is kind of shady.
The next time I saw Nick -- Wait, you saw Nick again?
Yes, and she was supposed to bring me right back here
afterward, and instead, she took me to Lucca.
Birthplace of Puccini.
And then, just yesterday, I saw her taking Susie away.
And she got back last night, and Susie was gone.
And she left me some book about kidnapping.
I'm just saying, if something sketchy is going on here,
maybe Kat has something to do with it.
Hey, uh, Craig.
I, uh -- I have to go to the bathroom so bad.
Uh, is it okay if I go to the bathroom?
'Cause I gotta go so bad.
Yeah.
Thanks. Oh, man.
♪♪
- So, I got all these photos
from the other manager trips.
Do you notice anything?
Um, there's regular ones and there's crazy ones?
Like, they're -- they're making silly faces and stuff?
Yeah, but look closer.
Almost all of the managers are women,
and if you look at Kat,
she's next to the prettiest girl in every single photo.
You think I'm the prettiest girl?
Look, it's all women.
Fuck. Oh, my God.
I made out with Kat.
Okay, yeah. No, that's --
But now, it makes so much sense why she was so upset
with Nick this whole time.
Like -- Like, she was jealous of him and me.
Maybe we -- we were ruining her whole plan.
But jealous about what?
Him and I making out and stuff.
She saw it when she picked me up.
Wait, you made out with Nick, too?
Y-- Why are our trips so different?
Wait a second.
I just thought of something.
Fran and I both have unisex names.
They thought we were women, too.
And that is why Nick was so weird
when we first met, right?
It's not just Kat -- it's Nick, too.
No, no, no, no, no.
I-I don't think it is Nick.
Like, I haven't even seen Nick with any other women --
only Kat.
And Kat, she's been, like,
steering me to suspect him this whole time.
Right. Kat's the poisoner.
No, I don't think there's poison.
I don't thi--
I feel like we moved on from the poison thing.
I think that Kat
has developed this whole program to,
like, hook up.
I don't know.
I mean, Nick is super rich.
He oversees everything about the program.
There's no way something like this could happen
without him knowing about it.
I think Nick's the mastermind.
No, I j--
What the fuck?
♪♪
Amber?
Amber!
♪♪
Amber?
I can see you.
Were you following me? What are you doing?
I should ask you the same question.
I wasn't following you.
No, not the following part.
What are you doing?
What do you mean?
The whole yacht-seduction thing.
You do this with all the managers?
Seduction?
Amber, listen to yourself.
You sound really disregulated.
Should I be worried about you?
It's just, all these women are acting so strange
and disappearing.
And Kat said --
Wait, I don't know anything about any women disappearing.
Kat said that?
You need to stay away from her.
She's a trickster.
I fired her.
What? When? This morning.
It's been a long time coming.
She's unstable. She's a deeply unhappy person.
Don't be like her. It didn't end well for her.
Didn't e--
Amber, don't throw this away.
Do you have oysters for Jen, too?
You're doing it again, baby turtle.
You're pushing me away like you always do
and going in your little shell.
Why are you so afraid of being loved?
Are you serious?
Why would you say that to me?
You admitted you sabotaged all your past relationships.
It's exactly what you're doing now.
I can't believe you would use that against me.
You're fucking gaslighting me.
Gaslighting you?
I feel like I've been really sensitive to you
and have had nothing but the purest intentions.
Look, I'm hosting a fete tomorrow night
and I thought maybe -- No!
Something shady is going on here with you.
I know it.
Look, maybe take a moment and realize you're in Italy.
Fuck Italy.
♪♪
Shit.
♪♪
You're back.
You were right. It is Nick, the fucking asshole.
Ugh, that creep.
I followed him and Jen. He took her to the yacht.
He denied everything.
And Kat's gone. Kat's gone?
Yeah, he said she's fired.
But who knows what's true?
He's trying to make me think I'm crazy now.
He's using shit against me from my past.
What does that mean?
Like, the other day on the boat,
he was asking me all these intimate questions, and --
and I told him some -- some really private stuff.
I'm such a fucking idiot.
Whoa. Like, what private stuff?
It's private.
Sorry.
But, like, it was really weird,
because it started out super simply.
Like, "If you could be famous, would you?"
But then, he got into shit about, like,
"What roles do love and affection play in your life?"
Like, who even talks like that?
When did you last sing to yourself?
Last week, why?
Look.
"'The New York Times' 36 Questions that Lead to Love."
Oh, my God.
Nick is the mastermind.
Okay, we gotta get the fuck out of here.
Right. Well, Craig has our passports.
We're American citizens, and so we have a right
to demand our passports back now.
And so, we do demand that.
Furthermore, we want to be flown out of here --
t-tonight, now.
Uh, well, yeah, that's -- that's not gonna happen.
Look, we know there's something shady going on,
and we just want to leave quietly.
So, just give us our passports, and we won't report
any of this -- Wait, what?
What's that, now?
All these "women" getting "sick"...
What are these air quotes about?
I'm not following.
Where's Liz? Where's Susie, huh?
We know they're not just getting "sick," Craig.
So, Lizzie was only scheduled to be here two days,
and she's left.
Well, what about my migraine?
I didn't even have one.
Oh, you didn't?
Huh.
Why did you say you did?
Listen, guys, tomorrow's the last day.
It's probably best not to rock the boat.
I have a woman's name.
♪♪
So, I need to apologize once again
for showing "Life is Beautiful."
Uh, my bad.
I'll be reading the synopses from here on out.
I'd also like to, uh, remind everyone that
you're very lucky to be here, and you should be
very appreciative of this opportunity.
So, keep it professional and positive, okay?
So, in that spirit, let's do
some trust-building exercises today.
This one's called "Pass the Zuke."
Uh, share something personal about yourselves, uh,
perhaps something you learned on this trip. I'll start.
Um, I got a better idea, Craig.
We should play Mafia.
It's really fun and it's a great way to build trust.
Alright, so, I'm gonna hand out these little cards.
They're gonna tell you if you are a villager
or a member of the Mafia.
And then we're all gonna close our eyes.
Mafia members will open them, make eye contact,
and carefully choose someone to kill.
- Hey, Nick.
-Hey, Nick. -Ciao, amici.
Amber, could we have a word outside, please?
I'm good. She's good.
Hey, uh, you want to play, Nick?
Uh, okay.
Sure. What's the game?
Mafia. Great.
-Awesome. -Unreal.
Okay. Shuffle these boys up.
Keep those close to the vest.
Don't let anyone know who you are.
Do you understand the game, Deb?
- Yes. I think I do. Here you go, my don.
Okay, everybody. It's morningtime.
The sun is rising. The birds are chirping.
You just had a restful sleep.
And in a second, everyone's gonna open their eyes,
except for Dana.
Dana, you're dead, bro.
Okay.
Well, obviously, it was Nick.
Right? What'd you do with them?
Who? Wait. Dana, you're not allowed to talk.
You're dead.
Why would you think that I did it?
Well, because you know I know.
I mean, it's so obvious.
Know what, Dana?
Dana, zip it up, dude, okay?
Were you Mafia or were you a villager?
Yeah, maybe play it cool. No, no.
He makes himself out to be this amazing guy, right?
Mm-hmm. With this amazing family.
And that bringing all of us here
will let us be a part of that.
And, instead, he just totally snubs me,
and this program sucks!
It sucks. I'm sorry.
You just fly a bunch of white people out here.
You make a Bolognese.
You watch moves in this dilapidated, low-rent shithole.
You have no other plan.
I hear trains go by every fucking three seconds.
My room has silverfish in it, and they really scare me,
but I don't want to kill them,
so I'm just living with fucking silverfish?!
Fuck this!
I'm Persian.
Okay. I'm sorry.
But where is everyone disappearing to?
Nick, are you poisoning them?
-Whoa! Stop it. -You're being a dick, Dana.
No, no, no. It's okay.
You want to talk about family?
You ever held your sister's hand as she died
right in front of you? No, I haven't.
That would be an incredible coincidence.
I have.
Connie --
Connie was my everything.
I mean, this isn't what I signed up for.
Tuscan Grove was supposed to be a fine-dining experience,
so I didn't know it was gonna snowball
into some fucking populist, mass-produced,
fucking fast-food bullshit.
It was supposed to be my Spago,
my Chez Panisse.
I've accepted what it's become --
a massive success. Great.
And now I try and create a beautiful experience
for all of you, inviting...
you into my home...
...my villa, my... my life.
And you have the nerve to accuse me?
I-I really put my heart on the line this time.
Never again.
It hurt -- it hurts.
I'm sorry.
Thank you for inviting me into your little game.
But I should go.
-No. No. No, no, no. -Nick, come on, man.
Nico.
Way to go, Dana, you pussy.
Hey, fuck you, Fran. You're a fraud.
What'd you say? You're a fraud.
I saw your episode of "Chef's Challenge,"
and a fucking tween beat you.
A twe-- a tween?!
Elliot is 13 1/2 years old. That's not a tween.
And, furthermore, the rules are fucking bullshit.
Think about it. You know what?
They edited it to make me look like an asshole.
You weren't even there. Fuck you.
- Enough!
This is supposed to be a team-building exercise.
Dana, cool out.
Ooh! Ooh! Fooh!
Big man Craig standing up!
You're a fucking fascist, okay?
You have no right to kidnap us like this, alright?
I already apologized about the video.
Sit down.
I'm not talking about the video. You're dead.
I'm talking about the fact that you're a fucking patchouli
Charles Manson bitch who I'm about to fuck up!
Oh, we got a hot shot here. You're out of your fucking mind.
Do you want to go back to Teaneck?
- Hey, hey. I'm from Tenafly.
Hey, Dana, come on. Sit down now.
-Sit down now. -Take off your shirt.
-I'm not gonna take my -- -Sit down!
-No! -Hey! Sit -- Hey!
-I'm not about -- -Sit down!
Now you're fucked!
No, no, no, no. Now you're fucked!
Hey, come on, now. Now my shirt's off,
and I can't stop till I feel blood.
Sit down! Okay!
Good. We won't fight.
'Cause I'm starting to feel sick anyway,
'cause I guess something seems to be going around.
I'm gonna go drink at the villa.
- What? What?
What the hell?
I think Deb's the killer.
You bitch! Oh!
You're all bitches!
All of you.
♪♪
Oh, my God!
Hey. Sorry. It's okay.
Are you okay? 'Cause that was a lot before.
No, I had to create a diversion.
Listen, you've got to come with me.
There is something big going on.
- All these people
are showing up in fancy clothes.
Well, Nick told me he was having a party tonight.
Are you okay? Yeah.
But they have machine guns.
Machine guns?!
Shh, shh.
♪♪
What the fuck?
Holy shit. It's murder.
I knew it.
What the fuck?
♪♪
Okay. Okay.
I'm gonna tail her.
You stay here, okay?
And be careful. Wait, wait.
Why? What kind of plan is that?
Why do we keep putting ourselves in danger?
I got this.
Sorry. Fuck.
♪♪
No!
Aah!
Aaaaah!
Fuck.
♪♪
Deb?
Just -- It happened so fast.
♪♪
Amber!
♪♪
Fran, Fran, open up!
- Yeah?
One sec.
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
-Oh. Hey. -We got to get out of here.
Dana's dead. Deb's in on it.
Nick and Craig have Liz tied up in the villa
for some kind of human sacrifice or something.
I don't know. But we got to go.
We got to go. Is this a bit?
Dude, this is really happening.
We got to get Jen and get the fuck out of here.
Okay. Did you take too much melatonin or what?
Dana is dead!
This is for real!
- Oh, my God.
She's coming. She's coming.
Come on. Who's coming?
-Oh, Jesus. -Jen, Jen, Jen, Jen.
-Go, go! -Jen.
- Jen. Jen. Jen.
She's fucking dead.
- I told you. Shit!
Hide, hide, hide.
Shh, shh, shh.
Okay, wait. So, what's happening?
Dana and I saw Liz tied up in the villa.
We split up, and then I found him dead
with Deb standing over him.
They knew he knew.
Basically, Nick runs this whole program
to get unsuspecting women here and seduce them,
and now people are getting murdered.
Why? I don't know!
But, like, you know how everyone keeps disappearing
and, like, how you have a woman's name?
What? I-I --
Look, I keep trying 911, but it's not working.
- Amber? Shh!
Amber?
Amber.
Where are you?
♪♪
Fucking bitch.
♪♪
Oh, my God. Okay.
I'm trying 911, but I think they have it jammed.
Yo! Shh!
Where you been? Wait. Who's that?
I'm Fran. 'Sup?
Shh. Listen.
We're being hunted, and people have been murdered.
What the fuck? Did you call 911?
It's not working. I-I think they jammed it.
Shh, shh, shh.
Let's make a run for it.
♪♪
- Amber? - W-Wait. What -- what --
What just happened? Is that the killer?
- Amber?
♪♪
Why are we running towards the fucking villa?
I don't know. I don't know. Some fucking plan.
Help.
He's here.
Look -- he's alive.
-Who is alive? -Help me.
Who was that? Who was that?
-Hey, hey. -Help.
Oh, and he's covered in piss.
Oh, God. Are you okay?
What did Deb do to you?
Not Deb, pigs. Pigs?
That's some fucking Manson hippie race-war bullshit.
You know, helter-skelter, baby.
Guys.
Oh! Oh! We got to go.
We got to run! Come on!
♪♪
- What is this?
It's the atrium. Dana, Dana, don't fall asleep.
Don't fall asleep. You know this place.
You got to tell us where to go.
Where do we hide? Study.
Study? Where is that? Dana, Dana!
Is he okay? I don't know.
What do we do? Whoa, whoa.
I remember. He -- he pointed it out.
Okay. Let's go that way. My friend is in Italy,
and they're running away from a serial killer.
Okay. Italy, Italy, the country.
What -- Who do I call?
What do you mean you don't know?
♪♪
Hey. Welcome.
Guys, this is Amber.
She came.
Mama Martucci?
You brought friends. That's great.
It's Lucca porn.
It's what I was telling you about at the bar.
Isn't she gorgeous?
Oh.
Okay, this is not what it looks like.
Wait. This is not Lucca porn?
'Cause it looks exactly like Lucca porn.
What the fuck?!
♪♪
Aah!
♪♪
Sorry. My alarm didn't go off.
I got it.
Italy -- it's not 911, it's 112.
Uh, you guys...
Okay.
Okay, cool.
Alright.
There's nothing you can do?
I can't fill in a police report or anything?
It's a private...
- So, this is kind of exciting.
I still have my butt plug in.
So do I. You do?
Oh, my God!
♪♪
Hey. Hey.
How you doin'? Thanks.
Well, that wasn't really how I saw that playing out.
Yeah.
But, I mean, we were kind of right about the sex stuff.
Yeah. And I got to see Mama Martucci.
So, um, I guess this is goodbye.
Yeah.
It was really nice to get to know you a little.
Thanks for the adventure.
Uh, yeah, anytime.
Take care.
Hey.
Yeah, well, we really did it this time, eh, kid?
Sure. Feel better.
Is this the part where we kiss?
Um -- Or --
Oh, no, I -- Okay.
♪♪
And then we were --
I tried to warn everyone.
I told them.
And then there were the pigs.
Little pigs.
There were pigs.
I think the pills my pharmacist gave me --
they were the wrong pills.
♪♪
Ciao.
Oh, my God. What happened?
Shit go down?
Where have you been?
I was in Genoa.
It was chill.
Miss me?
Yeah.
Aww.
I mean, I don't know why...
Is that a dildo gun?
Yeah.
♪♪
♪ Now the ballroom's empty ♪
♪ Everybody I have known ♪
It's so creepy how she can sleep like that.
♪ Has been and gone ♪
♪ With the music over ♪
Okay, well, ragazzi,
I guess this is the end of the line.
I hope you cherish these memories
for the rest of your lives.
It has been an honor.
And I also want to remind you that you all signed NDAs,
which are legally binding and actionable
and preclude you from discussing any
and all details from the trip.
-Jesus. -Ciao, amici.
♪ Spin me 'round ♪
♪ Now there must be something ♪
♪ In what they say of all things ♪
♪ Great and small ♪
♪ There's a dozen roses ♪
Hey.
♪ Lying almost dying ♪
Oh, my God.
If it logs you out, sometimes it just needs to be reset,
which we do with the admin password.
That's the bank? Yeah.
Everything -- It should be
normal stuff looking, like, breathtaking.
Yeah.
♪ Spin me 'round ♪
Oh, my God. The man himself.
I'm such -- I can't believe you're here.
I can't believe you are -- Can I take a picture with you?
Come over here. Could you take a picture?
Let's go now. Hurry up.
What are you doing here?
I've been thinking a lot about what happened.
That was no way to say goodbye.
Yeah. Look, I feel terrible.
My friends and I have been having those kind of parties
for so long, maybe I took it for granted.
I always invite managers from the group,
and whoever comes comes.
Yikes.
No.
No, I just really want everyone to have a good time,
and I guess I thought you were into that kind of thing
because of what we talked about.
When I told you about my experiences with group sex
and sustained bliss from Tantric techniques
and asked if you were into that kind of thing
and you said "yes"?
Oka--
So, wow.
I didn't ca-- That's --
I wondered why you said "sustained bliss."
That -- I-I-I must have zoned out.
Hmm.
But I don't think that excuses all of your behavior.
Oh, no, no, no. No, I agree.
I've done regrettable things.
And after everything that happened,
I've been doing a lot of soul-searching,
and I've realized that it's best for me --
and for others -- if I swear off any kind of physical intimacy
with anyone for a while.
I'm celibate now.
Look, baby turtle,
meeting you genuinely opened me up.
I can't believe you came all this way to tell me that.
I really needed to see you again.
That's wild.
I guess I was hoping you'd take me up on my offer
to sail the Amalfi Coast together --
as my primary.
I want to be with you only.
♪♪
Come on, baby turtle.
Say "yes."
♪♪
I -- You know what?
I-I don't think so.
I --
I think it's actually kind of inappropriate,
since you're my boss.
Is that why you kept telling me not to tell anybody?
Okay.
Uh, you sure?
I'm sure.
I'm good here.
But, you know, I hope you have a safe trip
back to wherever.
Um...
I got you something.
I-I don't want this.
I'm not your baby turtle.
I think you should go.
Wow.
Okay.
'Cause I-I thought maybe --
Bye, Nick.
Go.
Get the fuck out of here!
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday, dear Alex ♪
♪ Happy birthday -- ♪
♪♪
♪ I'm not in love ♪
♪ So don't forget it ♪
♪ It's just a silly phase I'm going through ♪
♪ And just because ♪
♪ I call you up ♪
♪ Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made ♪
♪ I'm not in love ♪
♪ No, no ♪
♪ It's because ♪
♪ I like to see you ♪
♪ But then again ♪
♪ That doesn't mean you mean that much to me ♪
♪ So if I call you ♪
♪ Don't make a fuss ♪
♪ Don't tell your friends about the two of us ♪
♪ I'm not in love ♪
♪ No, no ♪
♪ It's because ♪
♪♪