1
00:00:50,710 --> 00:00:53,130
["Love" by Michael Bublé playing]

2
00:01:04,140 --> 00:01:05,440
[gun cocks]

3
00:01:07,980 --> 00:01:09,020
[loud burst]

4
00:01:19,870 --> 00:01:21,660
[people chattering]

5
00:01:22,790 --> 00:01:24,080
[sighs deeply]

6
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:28,440
[man 1] There she is!

7
00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:30,590
[cheering and applauding]

8
00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:32,450
Gloria!

9
00:01:32,650 --> 00:01:33,910
Hi.

10
00:01:34,110 --> 00:01:34,990
Welcome!

11
00:01:35,190 --> 00:01:36,740
- You look great.
- Thank you!

12
00:01:36,940 --> 00:01:39,120
- Darcy, where have you been?
- Hey! Hi!

13
00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:41,750
I was just taking a minute.
Is that allowed?

14
00:01:41,950 --> 00:01:43,210
Not at your wedding.

15
00:01:43,410 --> 00:01:45,790
- Your Ketel One martini.
- Oh.

16
00:01:45,990 --> 00:01:47,560
<i>Obrigada,</i> Jerome.

17
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,510
Where is the groomzilla?

18
00:01:50,710 --> 00:01:52,510
Tom is not a groomzilla, okay?

19
00:01:52,710 --> 00:01:56,260
He just committed to making
every detail perfect.

20
00:01:56,460 --> 00:01:59,390
You should have taken your father's money
for this wedding.

21
00:01:59,590 --> 00:02:02,890
Then, professionals would make
everything <i>perfecto</i> for you.

22
00:02:03,090 --> 00:02:04,690
Mom, I've told you. We are adults

23
00:02:04,890 --> 00:02:08,610
and we wanted to pay for our own wedding
so it could be what we wanted.

24
00:02:08,810 --> 00:02:11,250
And this is what you wanted?

25
00:02:11,710 --> 00:02:12,990
That was a printing error.

26
00:02:13,190 --> 00:02:15,780
["Love" by Michael Bublé
continues playing]

27
00:02:15,980 --> 00:02:21,790
<i>♪ E is even more than</i>
<i>Anyone that you adore ♪</i>

28
00:02:21,990 --> 00:02:28,480
<i>♪ And love is all</i>
<i>That I can give to you ♪</i>

29
00:02:29,100 --> 00:02:34,690
<i>♪ Love is more than</i>
<i>Just a game for two ♪</i>

30
00:02:35,940 --> 00:02:39,150
<i>♪ Two in love can make it ♪</i>

31
00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:42,350
[drill whirring]

32
00:02:42,550 --> 00:02:47,230
<i>♪ Love was made</i>
<i>For me and you ♪</i>

33
00:02:47,430 --> 00:02:48,650
- Hoy!
- [clicking]

34
00:02:48,850 --> 00:02:49,830
Oh! Oh!

35
00:02:53,210 --> 00:02:54,990
Oh! Hey!

36
00:02:55,190 --> 00:02:57,110
Oh, I almost shoot you!

37
00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,280
I thought you're a pirate
but you're just a guy.

38
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,870
- [guard laughing]
- [grunts]

39
00:03:02,070 --> 00:03:05,350
[sighs] Ah, this is for your bride, huh?

40
00:03:06,390 --> 00:03:08,290
[Tom] Yeah, trying to surprise her.

41
00:03:08,490 --> 00:03:10,800
I saw something just like it on Etsy,

42
00:03:10,990 --> 00:03:14,360
and it looked perfect,
but now I'm not so sure.

43
00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:18,090
Now, I wanna be romantic
but not too corny.

44
00:03:18,290 --> 00:03:20,070
There's a really fine line
between the two.

45
00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:23,490
Aren't you supposed to be over there?

46
00:03:24,490 --> 00:03:26,690
Your rehearsal party.

47
00:03:26,890 --> 00:03:27,910
Oh, my God!

48
00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:31,480
I need you to talk
to your father's yoga teacher.

49
00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:33,530
- Girlfriend?
- Yeah, whatever.

50
00:03:33,730 --> 00:03:35,490
She keeps smiling at me.

51
00:03:35,690 --> 00:03:38,530
Can you tell her to stop smiling at me?

52
00:03:38,730 --> 00:03:39,620
Yes, Mom.

53
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:42,080
I will tell Dad's girlfriend
to stop smiling at you.

54
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:43,620
That won't cause any issues.

55
00:03:43,820 --> 00:03:46,500
Also, I cannot sit at a table
with Tom's mother.

56
00:03:46,700 --> 00:03:51,170
On the boat here, she tried to start
a sing-along to <i>South Pacific.</i>

57
00:03:51,370 --> 00:03:53,050
She's excited. Okay?

58
00:03:53,250 --> 00:03:55,130
She's never been out
of the country before.

59
00:03:55,330 --> 00:03:56,880
What kind of a grown woman
has never left the country?

60
00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:58,720
Please, Mom, for two days,
can you just get along with...

61
00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:00,140
Carol!

62
00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:02,930
♪ <i>I'm gonna wash that man</i>
<i>Right outta my hair ♪</i>

63
00:04:03,130 --> 00:04:06,390
♪ <i>I'm gonna wash that man</i>
<i>Right outta my hair ♪</i>

64
00:04:06,590 --> 00:04:09,270
♪ <i>And send him on his way ♪</i>

65
00:04:09,470 --> 00:04:11,120
[both laughing]

66
00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:13,520
I've been looking forward to this moment

67
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:16,070
ever since baby Tommy
was cut out of my abdomen.

68
00:04:16,270 --> 00:04:17,740
- [laughs forcefully]
- Oh, my God,

69
00:04:17,940 --> 00:04:19,910
I have never been
on a private island before.

70
00:04:20,110 --> 00:04:22,620
I've never been even on an island before.

71
00:04:22,820 --> 00:04:23,990
Actually, you know what? That's not true.

72
00:04:24,190 --> 00:04:26,370
I went with the Heibermans.
We went to Mackinac, you know,

73
00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:28,180
before they moved to Bloomington.

74
00:04:28,930 --> 00:04:30,710
Have you ever been to Mackinac, Renata?

75
00:04:30,910 --> 00:04:33,840
I don't know what that is
or most of the words you just said.

76
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,920
[Carol] Wouldn't she just love it, Larry?

77
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:37,340
Oh. Hi, Darcy.

78
00:04:37,540 --> 00:04:38,420
Hey, Larry.

79
00:04:38,620 --> 00:04:40,130
I didn't see you there. [laughs]

80
00:04:40,330 --> 00:04:41,720
- Hi.
- [Larry] Hi, Renata.

81
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:43,300
[Carol] Guess what? We got you a gift.

82
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:45,100
- Oh, you didn't have to.
- [Carol] Yes, we did.

83
00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:46,890
It's the biggest day
of our lives tomorrow.

84
00:04:47,090 --> 00:04:47,980
What are you talking about?

85
00:04:48,180 --> 00:04:50,370
- Come on, open it.
- Okay. [chuckles]

86
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,770
- Larry, she's opening.
- I get... Oh.

87
00:04:53,970 --> 00:04:55,110
Ah-uh-huh.

88
00:04:55,310 --> 00:04:57,290
Oh. Someone just left that
in the bathroom.

89
00:05:00,130 --> 00:05:01,910
[Tom] Oh, you're a lifesaver, Margy.

90
00:05:02,110 --> 00:05:03,370
I cannot believe I'm late for this.

91
00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:04,740
The guests are already mingling,

92
00:05:04,940 --> 00:05:07,930
and your Darcy is talking
to both the mothers.

93
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,470
Oh, no. Go. Go, go, go, go, go, go.

94
00:05:13,890 --> 00:05:15,100
[Darcy] Oh!

95
00:05:15,810 --> 00:05:18,300
[Renata] You got my daughter rusty knives?

96
00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:20,510
It's your "something borrowed."

97
00:05:20,710 --> 00:05:23,050
Everyone in our family uses
them on their wedding day.

98
00:05:23,250 --> 00:05:25,350
Brings you a lifetime of good luck.

99
00:05:25,550 --> 00:05:26,560
Except for Uncle Greg

100
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,350
who ended up getting
decapitated on that forklift.

101
00:05:29,550 --> 00:05:31,190
But that's not the knife's fault.

102
00:05:31,380 --> 00:05:32,520
[man] Darcy!

103
00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:34,080
Dad!

104
00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:36,440
[praises in Spanish]

105
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,150
<i>- Gracias.</i>
- [both] Mm.

106
00:05:38,350 --> 00:05:40,360
- [Carol laughing]
- Carol, you look lovely.

107
00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:42,420
[kissing] Mm. Mm.

108
00:05:43,090 --> 00:05:44,160
Larry, hello, sir.

109
00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:45,450
- [Larry] Hey!
- I'm gonna kiss you too.

110
00:05:45,650 --> 00:05:47,030
- Oh.
- Mm.

111
00:05:47,230 --> 00:05:49,090
- Sorry. Done?
- Yeah, okay.

112
00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:52,180
Renata.

113
00:05:52,770 --> 00:05:54,020
Roberto.

114
00:05:55,310 --> 00:05:57,850
I love that you two are still friends.

115
00:05:58,520 --> 00:05:59,670
- Peekaboo! [chuckles]
- Oh.

116
00:05:59,870 --> 00:06:01,050
Hi!

117
00:06:01,250 --> 00:06:03,010
[both] Mwah. Mwah.

118
00:06:03,210 --> 00:06:05,240
Mm!

119
00:06:05,690 --> 00:06:09,470
Oh, Darcy, I am so honored to bear witness

120
00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:12,910
to this sacred observance
of rebirth and devotion.

121
00:06:13,990 --> 00:06:16,620
- Same.
- Thank you. [chuckles]

122
00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:19,650
[gasps] Renata.

123
00:06:19,850 --> 00:06:21,920
[dramatic music plays]

124
00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:26,030
I need to go to the ladies' room.

125
00:06:26,230 --> 00:06:27,530
[Carol] Hey, me too.

126
00:06:27,730 --> 00:06:30,720
When I'm in formal wear,
I like to pee standing up. How about you?

127
00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:33,960
- Sorry.
- That's okay.

128
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:35,270
Thank you, Margy.

129
00:06:38,020 --> 00:06:39,020
Oh, hey.

130
00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,470
- Hey.
- [Tom] How are you?

131
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:44,980
[Darcy sighs]

132
00:06:46,110 --> 00:06:47,720
- Oh.
- [whispers] Oh, my God.

133
00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:49,030
- That's for you.
- Thanks.

134
00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:50,390
Big <i>papi.</i>

135
00:06:50,590 --> 00:06:52,390
- My man. Mwah.
- [Robert grunts]

136
00:06:52,590 --> 00:06:54,890
- This... I just...
- Nice to see you, Dad.

137
00:06:55,090 --> 00:06:57,060
<i>- Señor.</i>
- Let's just, uh, stick

138
00:06:57,260 --> 00:06:58,480
- with "Robert" for a little while.
- [Harriett chuckles]

139
00:06:58,680 --> 00:06:59,900
- Right. Robert.
- [Harriett] Tom, I heard

140
00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:02,070
you were the one who found
this incredible resort.

141
00:07:02,270 --> 00:07:04,030
- Yeah. I did.
- Yes.

142
00:07:04,230 --> 00:07:07,360
I actually study bioresonance,
and this place is

143
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:08,950
teeming with energetic vibrations.

144
00:07:09,150 --> 00:07:10,950
- [Darcy] Mm.
- [Robert] It's just like

145
00:07:11,150 --> 00:07:12,910
- our room teeming with bugs.
- [both laugh]

146
00:07:13,110 --> 00:07:17,290
The, uh, Four Seasons would've been nice,
but you didn't want my help, so...

147
00:07:17,490 --> 00:07:18,380
Some things are more important

148
00:07:18,580 --> 00:07:19,500
- than money, Dad.
- Yeah.

149
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,230
That's debatable. [chuckles]

150
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,010
Well, I need another drink.

151
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:24,300
- Yeah.
- [speaks Spanish]

152
00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:26,090
No, I'm good. <i>Gracias.</i>

153
00:07:26,290 --> 00:07:27,480
[Robert] Okay, well...

154
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:29,360
I'm fine.

155
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:32,850
[sighs] Is he ever gonna like me?

156
00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:36,120
Yes, if you just chill out
and start acting like yourself.

157
00:07:37,450 --> 00:07:39,120
[whispers] God, our families are a lot.

158
00:07:39,580 --> 00:07:41,480
- What do you mean?
- And where have you been?

159
00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:43,070
I was just finishing up a little project.

160
00:07:43,270 --> 00:07:44,150
What'd I miss?

161
00:07:44,350 --> 00:07:46,610
Oh, well, your mom gave me cursed knives.

162
00:07:46,810 --> 00:07:49,240
And then my mom almost yelled
at my dad's girlfriend for smiling.

163
00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:50,570
- Oh.
- Oh, also,

164
00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:53,490
your cousin, Amy, asked where
she could charge her vibrator.

165
00:07:53,690 --> 00:07:55,500
Oh, so, Cousin Amy came?

166
00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:56,830
She will soon.

167
00:07:57,030 --> 00:07:59,040
- [laughs]
- Um, what are you wearing?

168
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:00,210
Oh, it's, uh...

169
00:08:00,410 --> 00:08:01,540
Why is your hair all wet?

170
00:08:01,740 --> 00:08:03,050
Oh, I... I just... I...

171
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:05,520
You know, I went
for a little moonlight swim.

172
00:08:05,980 --> 00:08:07,170
You fell in the water, didn't you?

173
00:08:07,370 --> 00:08:09,190
Yeah, I fell in the water. [laughing]

174
00:08:11,570 --> 00:08:13,780
You know, it's kinda cute
how bad you are at lying.

175
00:08:18,660 --> 00:08:21,250
Just... Just promise me...

176
00:08:22,370 --> 00:08:25,190
Promise me, you won't let go of my hand
for the rest of the night, okay?

177
00:08:25,390 --> 00:08:26,400
I promise.

178
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:28,610
["Pony" by Ginuwine plays on speakers]

179
00:08:28,810 --> 00:08:29,840
Ace.

180
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,990
Ace just put on the honeymoon playlist.
I need to change it.

181
00:08:33,190 --> 00:08:35,120
Well, is "need" the right word?

182
00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:36,720
- Dad, please.
- [Larry] Oh, yeah.

183
00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:39,250
[song stops playing]

184
00:08:39,450 --> 00:08:40,790
Tommy, Tommy, I need you
for, like, five minutes.

185
00:08:40,990 --> 00:08:42,040
- What? No, no, no, no.
- It's an emergency.

186
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:43,540
I've been working
on my best-man speech, right,

187
00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:45,100
and it is going really well.

188
00:08:45,810 --> 00:08:47,520
- Hi.
- Hey.

189
00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:50,440
- [imperceptible]
- [music plays on speakers]

190
00:08:50,940 --> 00:08:53,320
Dad's girlfriend just asked me
what my love language is.

191
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:55,450
She sucks.

192
00:08:55,860 --> 00:08:57,560
Happiest I've seen you in 20 years.

193
00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:58,730
- Thanks.
- Cheers.

194
00:08:58,930 --> 00:09:01,200
[helicopter approaching]

195
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,380
[upbeat hip-hop music playing]

196
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:10,840
[Jamie gasps]

197
00:09:11,630 --> 00:09:13,090
Dad invited your ex?

198
00:09:19,140 --> 00:09:21,460
God! How does he just keep getting hotter?

199
00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:24,100
Looks like he's leading a porn safari.

200
00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,000
I didn't wanna invite him,

201
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:29,720
but Dad insisted because
he said Bali was so close.

202
00:09:29,910 --> 00:09:31,260
Wow. Wow, wow, wow. wow, wow.

203
00:09:31,460 --> 00:09:33,470
Dad is a messy bitch who loves the drama.

204
00:09:33,670 --> 00:09:36,860
[Darcy] Well, he never RSVP'd,
so we thought we were in the clear.

205
00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:42,140
I didn't think he'd actually come.
You know, he never RSVP'd.

206
00:09:42,340 --> 00:09:45,960
No, that's a very, very cool move.
I'm really excited to meet him.

207
00:09:46,870 --> 00:09:48,480
Oops, looks like he was in a rush

208
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:50,280
and forgot to button
his shirt all the way up.

209
00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:51,450
Deedee. [exhales sharply]

210
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:52,700
- Hey, man, how are you?
- Hey.

211
00:09:52,900 --> 00:09:54,570
Hi, Sean! [laughs]

212
00:09:54,770 --> 00:09:57,660
[Sean grunts] I am so sorry that I'm late.

213
00:09:57,860 --> 00:09:59,500
Your dad needed me to go to Japan
at the last minute,

214
00:09:59,690 --> 00:10:01,620
and then, you know,
I had to charter a jet from Kyoto,

215
00:10:01,820 --> 00:10:03,710
- just like a whole thing.
- No, it's okay. We just...

216
00:10:03,910 --> 00:10:05,210
You know, we didn't know you were coming.

217
00:10:05,410 --> 00:10:07,500
[Sean] Your dad and I
wanted to surprise you.

218
00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:09,460
Look, babe, you know I wasn't
gonna miss your wedding

219
00:10:09,660 --> 00:10:12,010
for anything in this world, right?

220
00:10:12,210 --> 00:10:13,880
- Sean, I want you to meet Tom.
- Tom.

221
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,640
- Oh, hey! [chuckles]
- Tom!

222
00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:17,600
- Tom, Tom, Tom.
- Sean. Yeah.

223
00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:18,720
- Nice to meet you.
- Hey, Tom.

224
00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:21,980
Man, I have been dying
to meet Deedee's ball player, man.

225
00:10:22,180 --> 00:10:23,270
What position you play?

226
00:10:23,470 --> 00:10:25,100
- I'm a... Well, I...
- He's a designated hitter.

227
00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:27,520
[Robert] Uh, unfortunately,
they didn't pick up his contract,

228
00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,540
so, technically, he's unemployed, but...

229
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:31,860
Cut from the minors at 40.

230
00:10:32,060 --> 00:10:34,660
That's a tough break, Tom.
But if you stay positive,

231
00:10:34,850 --> 00:10:36,950
you could have
a really great future in coaching.

232
00:10:37,150 --> 00:10:38,050
You know what I mean?

233
00:10:39,590 --> 00:10:40,590
Yeah.

234
00:10:41,180 --> 00:10:42,580
That is an excellent idea.

235
00:10:42,780 --> 00:10:43,790
- I think so.
- Thank you.

236
00:10:43,990 --> 00:10:44,930
Yeah.

237
00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:49,000
Is it time for dinner?

238
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,300
[applause]

239
00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:53,420
We are so very touched
that you all made the trek out here.

240
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:57,590
You know, we really wanted to pick a place
that was convenient for none of you.

241
00:10:57,790 --> 00:10:59,260
[all laughing]

242
00:10:59,460 --> 00:11:00,850
You know what,
I talk too much at the law firm.

243
00:11:01,050 --> 00:11:04,940
So I am going to hand it over
to the man of the hour,

244
00:11:05,140 --> 00:11:07,410
the guy who made
this whole weekend happen,

245
00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:09,570
my lovely Tom.

246
00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:12,330
[cheering and applauding]

247
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,300
Thank you.

248
00:11:15,670 --> 00:11:17,240
- [man] Do it!
- [woman 1] You go, girl!

249
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:18,320
[Tom] Uh...

250
00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:20,050
- [woman 2] Yeah!
- [whispers] You got this.

251
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:21,870
- Right?
- [laughter]

252
00:11:22,070 --> 00:11:22,950
I can just wing this, right?

253
00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:26,790
Darcy talked a lot about, uh,
her time in the Peace Corps in Bali,

254
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:28,420
and I thought, you know,

255
00:11:28,620 --> 00:11:30,040
how cool would it be
if we got married there.

256
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:34,260
And then, I realized that
Bali was un-Bali-vably expensive.

257
00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:36,510
[scattered laughter]

258
00:11:36,710 --> 00:11:38,300
I think the Philippines are better.

259
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:39,690
- [guests clap]
- Right, Ace?

260
00:11:40,490 --> 00:11:42,360
Ace agrees. Next.

261
00:11:43,410 --> 00:11:45,180
- [woman] Aw!
- [guests exclaim]

262
00:11:45,380 --> 00:11:47,480
I know a lot of you were there
to witness my proposal.

263
00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:49,830
The shock and surprise. Priceless.

264
00:11:50,370 --> 00:11:52,900
Anyway, Mom and Dad,
I just wanna say thank you.

265
00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:55,570
Your commitment is something
that we can only aspire to.

266
00:11:55,770 --> 00:11:57,840
- Oh, my God.
- [Tom] Robert, Renata,

267
00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,760
we hope our marriage is
nothing like yours. [laughing]

268
00:12:04,260 --> 00:12:05,580
Pivot, baby. [whispers] Pivot.

269
00:12:05,780 --> 00:12:09,040
I mean, that's not a...
a character judgment, by any means.

270
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,840
I mean, 50% of marriages
end in divorce, right?

271
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:13,380
- [mic feedback]
- Ha! Wonderful.

272
00:12:13,580 --> 00:12:14,840
[chuckling] Cheers, everybody.

273
00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:16,300
- Cheers, cheers, cheers.
- Cheers.

274
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:17,550
[Tom clears throat]

275
00:12:17,750 --> 00:12:18,930
[jazz music playing]

276
00:12:19,130 --> 00:12:20,300
Oh, my God. That did not go well.

277
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:22,100
No, that was awesome.

278
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:24,100
- [glass clinking]
- [music stops]

279
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:27,770
So Deedee and I met
in the Peace Corps in Bali.

280
00:12:27,970 --> 00:12:31,580
And one day, we had to run
these medical supplies to this village.

281
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,320
I decided to teach her
how to drive the boat,

282
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,150
so I could sleep
and she could do all the work.

283
00:12:36,350 --> 00:12:37,690
[all laughing]

284
00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:38,860
[Tom chuckles dryly]

285
00:12:39,060 --> 00:12:41,320
The first time our girl
gets behind the wheel,

286
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:44,370
she gets a damn speeding ticket
from the coast guard.

287
00:12:44,570 --> 00:12:45,620
[all laughing]

288
00:12:45,820 --> 00:12:48,210
Right? Deedee doesn't do
anything half-assed.

289
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,060
She sees what she wants,

290
00:12:50,890 --> 00:12:53,420
she goes after it,
and she doesn't settle for less.

291
00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:54,500
[Tom] It's true, it's true.

292
00:12:54,700 --> 00:12:56,050
[Sean] So, as some of you may know,

293
00:12:56,250 --> 00:12:59,480
Deedee and I were,
100 years ago, were engaged.

294
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:01,720
But she called it off.

295
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,550
[guests exclaim sadly]

296
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,510
No. No, no, no, no.

297
00:13:05,710 --> 00:13:07,160
She was waiting for Tom.

298
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:12,730
And that guy right there
has gotta be a one-in-a-million supernova

299
00:13:12,930 --> 00:13:14,570
to snag that beautiful soul.

300
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:16,070
- Thanks.
- [all applauding]

301
00:13:16,270 --> 00:13:18,860
- Thanks, Sean.
- So, in conclusion,

302
00:13:19,060 --> 00:13:20,920
I just wanna say one thing to you, Deedee.

303
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,240
<i>Katuk kak ci.</i>

304
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:24,970
[laughing]

305
00:13:25,380 --> 00:13:27,720
[all applauding and cheering]

306
00:13:29,050 --> 00:13:30,620
What's... <i>Katuk kak</i> what?

307
00:13:30,820 --> 00:13:32,710
Oh, God. Um, it's hard to explain.

308
00:13:32,910 --> 00:13:35,040
It actually means, um,

309
00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:37,670
"Fuck your grandpa."
[chuckles] It's just...

310
00:13:37,870 --> 00:13:39,260
Well, that's not that hard to explain.

311
00:13:39,460 --> 00:13:42,130
Yeah, well, I don't know.
Just, in Balinese, it's super offensive.

312
00:13:42,330 --> 00:13:44,510
Yeah, well, it's offensive everywhere, no?

313
00:13:44,710 --> 00:13:47,430
- Yeah. I mean... It just...
- "Fuck your grandpa!"

314
00:13:47,630 --> 00:13:49,520
- It just made us laugh.
- It is funny.

315
00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:51,850
- [glass clinks]
- [woman] Hi, everybody.

316
00:13:52,050 --> 00:13:53,980
I'm Tom's baby sister, Jeannie.

317
00:13:54,180 --> 00:13:55,900
- Yeah, Jeannie!
- Hey, Jeannie!

318
00:13:56,100 --> 00:13:58,440
Wow, Sean's speech, wasn't it somethin'?

319
00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,750
[cheering and applauding]

320
00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:03,090
[spray can hissing]

321
00:14:06,590 --> 00:14:07,590
[Darcy] Honey?

322
00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:13,720
Maybe we should just,
you know, call it a night.

323
00:14:14,180 --> 00:14:15,380
[Tom] No, babe, you go ahead.

324
00:14:15,580 --> 00:14:18,670
I gotta finish these centerpieces
and rearrange the seating chart

325
00:14:18,870 --> 00:14:20,940
now that Sean decided to show up.

326
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,150
- [grunts]
- Tom!

327
00:14:26,190 --> 00:14:27,200
Tom!

328
00:14:29,450 --> 00:14:31,160
[whispers] Let's have sex.

329
00:14:34,330 --> 00:14:36,610
Yes. Yes.

330
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,770
Just... Just... Just...
Just gimme... Just...

331
00:14:38,970 --> 00:14:40,920
I just have to finish
these pineapples real quick.

332
00:14:43,170 --> 00:14:44,550
Okay. Um...

333
00:14:45,210 --> 00:14:52,180
But do you really have to finish
pineapples right now?

334
00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:59,670
Oh, my God. I love you
in a T-shirt and no pants.

335
00:14:59,870 --> 00:15:00,750
[inhales sharply]

336
00:15:00,950 --> 00:15:03,170
I'm just gonna reach over here,

337
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:06,550
this high shelf, so I can get
something to read.

338
00:15:06,750 --> 00:15:10,160
Why is it so sexy
when you can't reach high shelves?

339
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:15,270
- So, um...
- [grunting softly]

340
00:15:15,470 --> 00:15:16,870
I'm sorry, miss, but it was...

341
00:15:17,660 --> 00:15:18,860
- It's this one here?
- No, no, no.

342
00:15:19,060 --> 00:15:20,070
It's the one over there.

343
00:15:20,260 --> 00:15:21,480
- Sir, please.
- Oh, this one.

344
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:22,790
- This one.
- Yes.

345
00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:25,200
- That?
- Thank you, sir.

346
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,340
Okay. Glad I could help.

347
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,640
[Darcy giggling]

348
00:15:41,850 --> 00:15:43,190
I miss you.

349
00:15:45,190 --> 00:15:46,690
It's been a while, huh?

350
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:48,650
I know.

351
00:15:49,650 --> 00:15:50,860
I miss you.

352
00:15:57,580 --> 00:15:58,830
[Tom moans]

353
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,790
Could I ask you a question?

354
00:16:02,330 --> 00:16:03,880
Is it a sexy question?

355
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:06,340
Um...

356
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,380
Just wondering why you called off
the engagement with Sean again.

357
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:14,180
That is so not sexy. [chuckles]

358
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,680
I... I told you this.

359
00:16:17,220 --> 00:16:18,620
We were young, we were in Bali,

360
00:16:18,820 --> 00:16:21,270
and then one day, I woke up
and it just didn't feel right.

361
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:24,060
- Okay?
- Okay.

362
00:16:26,770 --> 00:16:28,610
[Tom moaning]

363
00:16:29,190 --> 00:16:31,190
But you said yes.

364
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,010
You know, what changed your mind?

365
00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:35,720
[Darcy sighs]

366
00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:37,580
[chuckling] I don't know.

367
00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:41,020
Uh, he... he started working with my dad,

368
00:16:41,220 --> 00:16:45,610
he changed, and all he cared about
was status and money.

369
00:16:45,810 --> 00:16:47,860
[chuckles] Anyway, why do you want
to talk about my ex

370
00:16:48,060 --> 00:16:49,630
the night before our wedding?

371
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:52,820
I don't know. Maybe because
you invited him to our wedding?

372
00:16:53,020 --> 00:16:54,410
Remember, I didn't.

373
00:16:54,610 --> 00:16:57,540
My dad asked me to invite him.
What was I supposed to say?

374
00:16:57,740 --> 00:16:58,960
I don't know. Uh, no?

375
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:01,380
If you remember correctly,
I didn't wanna invite anyone.

376
00:17:01,570 --> 00:17:03,880
- I wanted to elope.
- [sighs]

377
00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:06,840
The only reason I agreed
to a traditional wedding

378
00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:09,840
was because you said that
we'd have moments alone.

379
00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:10,930
[knock on door]

380
00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:13,190
Hey, hello. It's Carol.

381
00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:16,740
Hi. Hello.

382
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,060
Your future mother-in-law, Carol.

383
00:17:19,260 --> 00:17:21,270
[chuckles] Yep, I know your name, Carol.

384
00:17:21,470 --> 00:17:24,400
I brought some of the extras
for the welcome bags

385
00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:26,780
in case you want to make one for Sean.

386
00:17:26,970 --> 00:17:28,330
[Tom] Oh! Oh.

387
00:17:28,670 --> 00:17:29,880
Great. Thanks.

388
00:17:30,590 --> 00:17:31,780
All right, thanks.

389
00:17:31,980 --> 00:17:34,510
Tommy, she's not wearing any pants.

390
00:17:35,470 --> 00:17:37,120
- [gifts clatter]
- I just want to ask,

391
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:39,040
and... and I hope it's okay.

392
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:40,640
Is that genetics,

393
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:44,210
or is it, like, Pilates or something?

394
00:17:44,410 --> 00:17:45,380
Mom, now is not the time for this.

395
00:17:45,580 --> 00:17:47,880
[Carol] Yes, all right. But, you know,
we need to get you outta here.

396
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,760
It's the night before your wedding,
and you can't spend the night together.

397
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:52,880
- No, Ma, it's just...
- You can't. It's bad luck.

398
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:55,800
You know, his cousin, Jenna,
she spent the night with her husband.

399
00:17:56,000 --> 00:18:00,030
Lo and behold, she got Lyme disease,
and now she can't wear sandals.

400
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:03,700
It's a tradition.

401
00:18:06,290 --> 00:18:07,920
[snoring softly]

402
00:18:16,170 --> 00:18:18,220
[upbeat music playing]

403
00:18:32,150 --> 00:18:33,940
[indistinct chatter and laughter]

404
00:18:46,830 --> 00:18:48,690
[bird squawking]

405
00:18:48,890 --> 00:18:51,040
[suspenseful music playing]

406
00:19:05,930 --> 00:19:08,940
[pirate leader] Oh.
Look at the happy couple.

407
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:11,310
[man laughs wickedly]

408
00:19:14,270 --> 00:19:15,650
Where have you been?

409
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:17,900
You were supposed to do my hair.

410
00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:20,220
Now birds are gonna lay eggs in it.

411
00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:22,180
I know. I overslept. I'm sorry.

412
00:19:22,380 --> 00:19:23,520
[chuckles dryly]

413
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,580
Kind of, sort of,
slept with Ricky last night.

414
00:19:26,410 --> 00:19:28,230
- Ricky?
- Yes. I'm sorry.

415
00:19:28,430 --> 00:19:30,770
I just, I was in the mood for something,
you know, that wasn't quite right.

416
00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:32,830
Like ordering a hamburger
at a sushi bar or something.

417
00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:35,070
I'm just gonna avoid him today. It's fine.

418
00:19:35,270 --> 00:19:36,610
He's Tom's best man.

419
00:19:36,810 --> 00:19:38,590
You two have to walk down
the aisle together.

420
00:19:39,420 --> 00:19:41,990
I am very good at ignoring people
that I'm standing next to.

421
00:19:42,190 --> 00:19:43,540
- No kidding.
- Ready?

422
00:19:43,740 --> 00:19:45,890
I can't believe you agreed
to wear Carol's wedding dress.

423
00:19:46,430 --> 00:19:47,520
- [splutters]
- Okay.

424
00:19:47,970 --> 00:19:50,420
- [Jamie blowing]
- Okay, okay.

425
00:19:50,620 --> 00:19:52,560
You look beautiful, no matter what.

426
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:55,550
She's ready!

427
00:19:55,750 --> 00:19:56,590
[Jeannie] Hey, should we all do

428
00:19:56,790 --> 00:19:57,840
- a round of tequila shots?
- [sighs]

429
00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:01,430
[Carol] Well, I Scotchgarded the dress,
so try not to inhale the chemicals.

430
00:20:01,630 --> 00:20:03,350
[Jamie] Where's the veil?
Where's the veil?

431
00:20:03,550 --> 00:20:04,680
[huffs] Okay.

432
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:05,980
[Jamie] Well, yes, tequila.

433
00:20:06,180 --> 00:20:07,520
[Jeannie] Unless we get the bottle,
I'm not set.

434
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:08,770
[Jamie] No, no tequila.

435
00:20:08,970 --> 00:20:10,110
Oh!

436
00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:12,610
The prettiest of them all.

437
00:20:12,810 --> 00:20:15,130
You look so much better
than the rest of us.

438
00:20:15,630 --> 00:20:17,900
This dress is just wonderful.

439
00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:19,490
I wore it for my wedding,

440
00:20:19,690 --> 00:20:23,740
Jeannie wore it for hers,
and now you're gonna wear it for yours.

441
00:20:23,940 --> 00:20:25,180
Oh, my gosh.

442
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:27,220
Look at you.

443
00:20:28,510 --> 00:20:30,960
Oh, it's white coral made out of tissue.

444
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:32,100
Um...

445
00:20:33,390 --> 00:20:36,260
Something doesn't, you know, feel right.

446
00:20:36,460 --> 00:20:37,840
[Carol] Do you think
if we blew-dried the veil,

447
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:39,300
- it would be more fluffy?
- Okay, so what I'm seeing is,

448
00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:40,470
I think that the left boob
is actually slightly lower

449
00:20:40,670 --> 00:20:41,970
- than the right boob.
- Like floof, floof, like that?

450
00:20:42,170 --> 00:20:45,560
Hey, something kinda magical
happened with me last night.

451
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:47,230
- Theoretically speaking...
- [cell phone chiming]

452
00:20:47,430 --> 00:20:49,440
...would it be weird or wonderful

453
00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:51,400
- if we married sisters?
- [cell phone vibrates]

454
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:52,790
Yeah, sure.

455
00:20:57,210 --> 00:20:58,990
[Ricky] Hey, psst, Larry.
Tom's being boring.

456
00:20:59,190 --> 00:21:00,570
Come film me doing a backflip!

457
00:21:00,770 --> 00:21:02,200
[Larry] Oh, I...
I don't think I should walk.

458
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:03,380
[Ricky] All right.

459
00:21:05,010 --> 00:21:06,720
[guests chattering]

460
00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,900
[suspenseful music playing]

461
00:21:27,450 --> 00:21:28,570
It's time.

462
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:42,880
Wow!

463
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:45,470
[sighs] Look at you.

464
00:21:46,090 --> 00:21:48,050
[soft music playing]

465
00:21:53,810 --> 00:21:54,980
Okay.

466
00:21:55,980 --> 00:21:57,190
You wanted to talk.

467
00:21:58,270 --> 00:22:00,570
I know it's last minute.

468
00:22:01,860 --> 00:22:03,030
I just...

469
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,700
I hated the way things ended
last night, and...

470
00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:11,410
And I didn't want our wedding day
to start off on a bad note.

471
00:22:13,910 --> 00:22:15,120
Oh, my God.

472
00:22:16,620 --> 00:22:17,770
[sighs in relief]

473
00:22:17,970 --> 00:22:19,690
God, I thought you were calling it off.

474
00:22:19,890 --> 00:22:21,280
[Tom chuckling]

475
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,280
Calling off the wedding? [scoffs]

476
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:24,530
- Why?
- Uh, I don't know.

477
00:22:24,730 --> 00:22:27,580
I mean, this weekend
hasn't exactly gone to plan.

478
00:22:27,780 --> 00:22:30,450
You and I have been arguing more
in the last few months than we did

479
00:22:30,650 --> 00:22:32,120
our first four years together.

480
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,080
[inhales deeply] I don't know.
I guess I thought

481
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:35,850
weddings were supposed to be fun.

482
00:22:37,060 --> 00:22:38,460
Oh. Okay.

483
00:22:38,660 --> 00:22:41,260
Well, I'm sorry I didn't make
your wedding more fun for you.

484
00:22:41,460 --> 00:22:43,480
Well, no. That's...
Darcy, that's not what...

485
00:22:45,570 --> 00:22:47,400
And it's not my wedding. It's our wedding.

486
00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:49,360
Hardly.

487
00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:51,410
[sighs] Yeah, Tom.

488
00:22:51,990 --> 00:22:54,770
You got so fixated
on the wedding that you...

489
00:22:54,970 --> 00:22:56,480
you turned into a different person.

490
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:58,620
I'm sorry. I just wanted
everything to be perfect.

491
00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:00,900
Why is that so important to you?

492
00:23:01,100 --> 00:23:02,530
Why isn't it important to you?

493
00:23:02,730 --> 00:23:04,000
It's like you don't even care
about the wedding.

494
00:23:04,590 --> 00:23:06,490
Well, I... Of course I care.

495
00:23:06,690 --> 00:23:07,700
Oh, yeah?

496
00:23:07,900 --> 00:23:10,010
You're the one that insisted
that we pay for this wedding.

497
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:11,700
Yet I'm the one that's bargaining

498
00:23:11,900 --> 00:23:13,910
with all the vendors
and DIY-ing everything,

499
00:23:14,110 --> 00:23:16,620
and all you're saying is,
"I don't know. It looks good,"

500
00:23:16,820 --> 00:23:18,670
you know, "Sounds good, Tom.
Whatever you want."

501
00:23:18,870 --> 00:23:22,210
I told you that I did not want
a big traditional wedding.

502
00:23:22,410 --> 00:23:25,630
Okay? I'm not some blushing bride.
I'm a grown woman.

503
00:23:25,830 --> 00:23:27,970
I don't want my daddy
walking me down the aisle.

504
00:23:28,170 --> 00:23:30,060
I don't need a big princess dress,

505
00:23:30,250 --> 00:23:33,310
and I certainly don't need
a wedding registry.

506
00:23:33,510 --> 00:23:36,020
I have my things already.
I like my things.

507
00:23:36,220 --> 00:23:37,730
I wanted a Roomba.

508
00:23:37,930 --> 00:23:39,830
[guests murmuring]

509
00:23:41,540 --> 00:23:42,780
Well, she's not up in the lobby.

510
00:23:42,980 --> 00:23:44,150
I can't get through on my phone.

511
00:23:44,350 --> 00:23:46,650
Oh, my God. They've fallen in a ditch.

512
00:23:46,850 --> 00:23:48,870
What? And how do you know that?

513
00:23:49,060 --> 00:23:49,950
[Carol] I don't know.

514
00:23:50,150 --> 00:23:52,290
I just have a sixth sense
about these things.

515
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:53,620
Ace and I will take a look around.

516
00:23:53,820 --> 00:23:55,580
Don't worry. We will find them.

517
00:23:55,780 --> 00:23:57,000
[Carol breathing heavily]

518
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,140
- [screams] Check all ditches!
- [Larry] God.

519
00:24:01,100 --> 00:24:05,170
I wanted it to just be you and me
in the middle of the ocean.

520
00:24:05,370 --> 00:24:07,760
And for the 400th time,
that would've killed my mother.

521
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:09,470
Ugh. Right.

522
00:24:09,670 --> 00:24:11,140
And that's why I'm in your mother's dress

523
00:24:11,340 --> 00:24:13,870
with an extra 10 pounds of hair
on my head.

524
00:24:14,700 --> 00:24:18,870
But the truth is, you have not listened
to one thing I wanted since you proposed.

525
00:24:19,580 --> 00:24:22,520
Okay, well, Darcy, I'm listening.
Enlighten me.

526
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:25,080
What is it? What is it that you want?

527
00:24:25,500 --> 00:24:28,820
Tom, we've... We talked about this.

528
00:24:29,020 --> 00:24:33,280
I told you on our very first date,
I didn't want a big wedding.

529
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:34,410
Well, I thought you changed

530
00:24:34,610 --> 00:24:36,010
- your mind about that.
- [sighs]

531
00:24:36,510 --> 00:24:38,350
Why did you even agree to do it then?

532
00:24:40,100 --> 00:24:42,840
Oh, I... I don't... I don't know!

533
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:44,600
Okay? Because...

534
00:24:45,610 --> 00:24:48,380
Because I love you. Because I... I w...

535
00:24:48,580 --> 00:24:50,570
I wanted you to be happy.

536
00:24:51,030 --> 00:24:52,720
[pirate leader] Go! Come on, move!

537
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:54,890
Everybody, move! Come on!

538
00:24:55,090 --> 00:24:56,520
- [people screaming]
- Move along.

539
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,200
Go outside, go outside right now.
Come on. Come on.

540
00:25:00,410 --> 00:25:02,040
If you don't wanna go through with this,

541
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:04,210
it's not too late.

542
00:25:04,830 --> 00:25:05,830
What?

543
00:25:08,420 --> 00:25:14,280
No. We brought everybody that we loved
down to the Philippines for our wedding.

544
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:16,370
I'm in this dress! We're doin' this!

545
00:25:16,570 --> 00:25:18,510
Oh, that was beautiful.
Are those your vows?

546
00:25:21,430 --> 00:25:22,480
Oh, my God.

547
00:25:23,890 --> 00:25:26,250
You convinced yourself
that I wanted to call off the wedding,

548
00:25:26,450 --> 00:25:27,590
and now you're making it happen.

549
00:25:27,790 --> 00:25:30,340
Oh, there you go. Lawyering yourself
out of any real responsibility.

550
00:25:30,540 --> 00:25:31,470
[Darcy gasps]

551
00:25:31,670 --> 00:25:33,400
[intense music playing]

552
00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:37,490
[groans] You cut me with your ring!

553
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,370
- Won't happen again.
- [grunts]

554
00:25:47,630 --> 00:25:49,650
[intense music resumes]

555
00:25:49,850 --> 00:25:50,920
Great!

556
00:25:51,670 --> 00:25:53,260
[shouting] Why don't you go be with Sean?

557
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:56,160
Maybe you guys could go bang
some grandpas!

558
00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:58,760
[intense music continues]

559
00:26:05,770 --> 00:26:08,300
I don't know why.
I have a bad feeling about this.

560
00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:09,880
[Larry] It's gonna be fine, honey.

561
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:11,090
- [screams]
- [all gasp]

562
00:26:11,290 --> 00:26:12,760
I think you might be overreacting.

563
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:14,300
[screams]

564
00:26:14,500 --> 00:26:16,180
- [guests screaming]
- [indistinct shouting]

565
00:26:16,380 --> 00:26:19,350
[pirate leader] Hold still!
Get down, get down, get down!

566
00:26:19,550 --> 00:26:20,570
[all screaming]

567
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:24,540
[whimpers]

568
00:26:25,290 --> 00:26:26,440
- [pirate 1] No running!
- [gunshot]

569
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:28,540
- [pirate leader] Everyone!
- [pirate 1] Get down.

570
00:26:29,130 --> 00:26:31,690
[pirate leader] To the pool! Now!

571
00:26:31,890 --> 00:26:33,070
First rows, go!

572
00:26:33,270 --> 00:26:34,490
- Go, go, go!
- [Carol exclaims]

573
00:26:34,690 --> 00:26:36,700
[pirate 1] Everyone, this way! This way!

574
00:26:36,900 --> 00:26:39,640
Come on! Come on! One line! Let's go!

575
00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:43,890
- [gunshots]
- [indistinct shouting]

576
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:49,520
[grunts]

577
00:26:52,980 --> 00:26:54,340
[frightened clamoring]

578
00:26:54,540 --> 00:26:55,780
Let's go!

579
00:26:57,650 --> 00:26:58,950
Darcy.

580
00:27:01,740 --> 00:27:03,810
- [pirate leader] Guys, go!
- [pirate 1] Go, go, up there.

581
00:27:04,010 --> 00:27:06,230
[pirate leader] Up there!
Up there! Go! Go to the end.

582
00:27:06,430 --> 00:27:07,980
- Go, go!
- Everybody, walk!

583
00:27:08,180 --> 00:27:10,360
- [pirate leader] Keep going.
- [pirate 1] Let's go.

584
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:11,610
[pirate leader] Go!

585
00:27:11,810 --> 00:27:12,900
[guests screaming]

586
00:27:13,100 --> 00:27:14,450
[pirate leader] Keep moving! There you go.

587
00:27:14,650 --> 00:27:16,030
[pirate 2] Turn. Turn. Go!

588
00:27:16,230 --> 00:27:17,320
- [pirate leader] Line up.
- [pirate 2] Keep moving.

589
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:18,530
Line up, go!

590
00:27:18,730 --> 00:27:19,700
- [pirate leader] Now!
- [Carol] No.

591
00:27:19,900 --> 00:27:21,830
[pirate leader] And into the pool.

592
00:27:22,030 --> 00:27:23,290
Now. Go!

593
00:27:23,490 --> 00:27:26,370
Go in. Faster, faster, faster.

594
00:27:26,570 --> 00:27:28,500
- [pirate 2] Get in the water.
- [pirate leader] Let's go faster.

595
00:27:28,700 --> 00:27:31,250
- [pirate 2] Drop the phone.
- But my phone will get ruined.

596
00:27:31,450 --> 00:27:32,590
I think that's the point, sweetie.
Just drop it.

597
00:27:32,790 --> 00:27:33,800
Yeah, but I haven't
backed it up in a while.

598
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:35,520
- [Renata] Drop it!
- Okay. Okay.

599
00:27:36,730 --> 00:27:38,430
[pirate leader] No need to be scared.

600
00:27:38,630 --> 00:27:41,990
As long as everybody follows directions,
no one gets hurt.

601
00:27:42,870 --> 00:27:44,990
Raise your hand when you hear your name.

602
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:47,450
Robert Rivera.

603
00:27:54,130 --> 00:27:56,340
Robert! Robert.

604
00:27:57,130 --> 00:27:58,420
They're calling you.

605
00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:01,260
Thanks a lot, Carol.

606
00:28:05,140 --> 00:28:07,310
- [pirate leader] Larry Fowler.
- Present.

607
00:28:10,350 --> 00:28:11,880
I... I'm Carol, his wife.

608
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:13,520
Just so you don't have to make two trips.

609
00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:16,690
Wait, wait. I'd like it in the center.

610
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:21,450
Sean Hawkins.

611
00:28:22,030 --> 00:28:25,410
If you hurt anyone in this pool,
you're gonna have to answer to me.

612
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:28,980
[pirate leader]
Is this the hero of the group?

613
00:28:29,180 --> 00:28:30,700
[all] Yes.

614
00:28:31,410 --> 00:28:33,070
No. Oh, my God.

615
00:28:33,270 --> 00:28:34,500
[women whimper]

616
00:28:35,250 --> 00:28:36,960
There is always one.

617
00:28:38,630 --> 00:28:39,630
All right.

618
00:28:50,810 --> 00:28:52,560
[pirate leader] Where is bride and groom?

619
00:28:53,140 --> 00:28:55,510
[pirate 1] She's there.
Isn't she the bride?

620
00:28:55,700 --> 00:28:56,590
Oh. No.

621
00:28:56,790 --> 00:29:00,970
Amanda thought it was appropriate
to wear white to a wedding.

622
00:29:01,170 --> 00:29:02,390
I didn't know that was a rule.

623
00:29:02,590 --> 00:29:03,810
Yes, you did.

624
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,810
- You're a gaslighter.
- [Jeannie] Yeah.

625
00:29:06,010 --> 00:29:07,530
You see, this is a problem.

626
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:10,370
They could call police.
And if police come,

627
00:29:11,330 --> 00:29:12,480
we kill everyone.

628
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:14,070
- [guests gasping]
- [woman] Oh, my God.

629
00:29:14,260 --> 00:29:17,240
Okay, um, I... I saw Tom headed towards
the nature walk before the ceremony,

630
00:29:17,430 --> 00:29:20,490
and I noticed that his frequency levels
were dangerously low.

631
00:29:20,690 --> 00:29:22,160
I think he's getting cold feet.

632
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:23,530
Tommy has cold feet?

633
00:29:23,730 --> 00:29:26,160
Is this really what we should be
worrying about at this point?

634
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:29,510
I'm a mother. I can worry
about a lot of things at the same time.

635
00:29:30,260 --> 00:29:31,460
Like Larry's mole.

636
00:29:31,660 --> 00:29:32,750
[Larry] Oh, it's fine, sweetie.

637
00:29:32,950 --> 00:29:34,380
- [Carol] It's getting bigger.
- [pirate leader] Spread out.

638
00:29:34,580 --> 00:29:36,480
- [guns cocking]
- Look for them.

639
00:29:42,110 --> 00:29:44,640
Hey, uh, I... I...
I texted you this morning

640
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:46,450
and I didn't hear anything back.

641
00:29:47,870 --> 00:29:49,410
Are you being serious right now?

642
00:29:49,950 --> 00:29:51,560
No. No.

643
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:53,310
[panting]

644
00:29:53,510 --> 00:29:54,520
[Darcy screams]

645
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:56,980
[gasps] Darcy!

646
00:29:57,180 --> 00:30:00,090
- [Darcy grunting]
- [Tom] Darcy! Hey!

647
00:30:01,630 --> 00:30:03,450
- [groans]
- No, no, no, no. Darcy.

648
00:30:03,650 --> 00:30:05,990
- Darcy, I'm coming in.
- Fuck off, Tom!

649
00:30:06,190 --> 00:30:07,260
Oh, thank God.

650
00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:10,850
Listen, I know you're mad at me right now,
but you have to let me in.

651
00:30:11,180 --> 00:30:13,170
Why would I be mad? I'm awesome.

652
00:30:13,370 --> 00:30:15,420
I'm on a tropical island,
I'm having a liquid brunch,

653
00:30:15,620 --> 00:30:17,690
and I don't have to answer to anybody!

654
00:30:18,150 --> 00:30:20,050
[indistinct radio chatter]

655
00:30:20,250 --> 00:30:23,110
[gasps] Oh, my God, this is not happening.

656
00:30:23,530 --> 00:30:25,470
Oh, it is happening, buddy.

657
00:30:25,670 --> 00:30:29,140
Okay? And once I get this hair condo
off my head,

658
00:30:29,340 --> 00:30:32,560
I'm gonna march down to that beach
and tell everybody how you blew this up!

659
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:33,770
Shh... shh!

660
00:30:33,970 --> 00:30:36,080
Are you seriously shushing me right now?

661
00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:38,290
What the fuck?

662
00:30:38,670 --> 00:30:39,670
[Tom grunts]

663
00:30:42,670 --> 00:30:43,670
Is that blood?

664
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:45,990
There's no time
for a blood freak-out right now.

665
00:30:46,190 --> 00:30:47,990
- Don't tell me...
- [shushes]

666
00:30:48,190 --> 00:30:50,790
- [muffled groaning]
- There are pirates outside,

667
00:30:50,990 --> 00:30:52,540
and they took everybody hostage.

668
00:30:52,740 --> 00:30:53,680
[muffled] What?

669
00:30:55,140 --> 00:30:56,560
[indistinct radio chatter]

670
00:31:06,110 --> 00:31:07,610
- [gunshots]
- [gasps]

671
00:31:08,780 --> 00:31:09,780
[grunts]

672
00:31:10,490 --> 00:31:13,450
- We have to get help.
- [Tom] No, no. No. No.

673
00:31:14,830 --> 00:31:16,900
- The phone is dead.
- Oh, the Wi-Fi too.

674
00:31:17,100 --> 00:31:19,150
Marge said the cell service
is better on the north side.

675
00:31:19,350 --> 00:31:21,070
Why did you pick an island
with no cell service?

676
00:31:21,270 --> 00:31:22,940
Because I wanted people to be present
and in the moment.

677
00:31:23,140 --> 00:31:24,880
- [gunshot]
- [gasps] Jeez!

678
00:31:25,630 --> 00:31:28,370
I can't breathe. [gasps] I can't breathe!

679
00:31:28,570 --> 00:31:29,330
I know. Me neither.

680
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:32,200
No. I... I really can't breathe.
It's the shapewear.

681
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:33,760
Please help me get out of this dress now.

682
00:31:35,180 --> 00:31:36,290
Now!

683
00:31:36,490 --> 00:31:37,500
Would you relax?

684
00:31:37,700 --> 00:31:39,040
[whispers] What did you just say to me?

685
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:40,380
I said everything's gonna be okay.

686
00:31:40,580 --> 00:31:41,880
Dress is like a riddle.

687
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:43,420
- [gunshots]
- Oh!

688
00:31:43,620 --> 00:31:45,570
God, I'm gonna die in this dress!

689
00:31:46,980 --> 00:31:48,930
Oh, door latches from the inside.

690
00:31:49,130 --> 00:31:51,060
He's gonna know we're in here. [grunting]

691
00:31:51,250 --> 00:31:54,890
He's also gonna know we're in here
when he comes in here and we're in here.

692
00:31:55,090 --> 00:31:56,310
He'll think we're in the shower.

693
00:31:56,510 --> 00:31:57,900
What... What?

694
00:31:58,100 --> 00:32:00,440
And come back at a better time?
Leave a note?

695
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:02,320
- [shower running]
- All right.

696
00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:04,820
Okay, h... here's the plan. He comes in,
he's gonna think we're in the shower,

697
00:32:05,020 --> 00:32:06,530
then I jump out and I trap him in the net.

698
00:32:06,730 --> 00:32:08,030
Oh, my God, that's an amazing plan.

699
00:32:08,230 --> 00:32:09,160
- Yes!
- No!

700
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:10,490
You're gonna throw a net over a pirate?

701
00:32:10,690 --> 00:32:11,740
Have you ever tried to get out of a net?

702
00:32:11,940 --> 00:32:13,080
It's very hard to get out of a net.

703
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:14,790
Okay. How about...

704
00:32:14,990 --> 00:32:16,910
How about this? I spray him in the eyes.

705
00:32:17,110 --> 00:32:19,670
How is hairspray in the eyes
better than a net over his head?

706
00:32:19,870 --> 00:32:21,880
Wait! Yes, that's actually...

707
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:24,050
That's actually... You spray that.

708
00:32:24,250 --> 00:32:26,010
I'll light the match.
It'll be like a flamethrower.

709
00:32:26,210 --> 00:32:27,340
- I mean, it won't work!
- Why?

710
00:32:27,540 --> 00:32:28,970
- Too many steps.
- It's two steps.

711
00:32:29,170 --> 00:32:31,720
It's two steps. Flamethrower, net.

712
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:35,020
I pop out and I put the net over his head.
I'll surprise him.

713
00:32:35,220 --> 00:32:37,230
No, Tom, because bullets
shoot through nets!

714
00:32:37,430 --> 00:32:38,980
- Technically, yeah.
- Technically?

715
00:32:39,180 --> 00:32:40,520
Technically, he won't be able
to shoot straight

716
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:42,900
because he'll be all fuckin'
wrapped up in the net.

717
00:32:43,100 --> 00:32:45,400
I swear to God, if you say "net"
one more time...

718
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:46,880
- [gunshots]
- [gasps]

719
00:32:48,420 --> 00:32:50,510
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

720
00:32:52,300 --> 00:32:53,380
[gunshot]

721
00:32:57,810 --> 00:32:59,720
[whispering] Psst. Flamethrower.

722
00:33:03,850 --> 00:33:05,690
[suspenseful music playing]

723
00:33:08,980 --> 00:33:10,650
[shower running]

724
00:33:15,660 --> 00:33:17,060
[whispering] I'm gonna fuck him up.

725
00:33:17,260 --> 00:33:18,270
I'm gonna fuck him up.

726
00:33:18,470 --> 00:33:19,910
[mouthing]

727
00:33:35,970 --> 00:33:37,120
[turns off shower]

728
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:38,760
[screaming]

729
00:33:39,930 --> 00:33:42,020
[all screaming]

730
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:45,840
[Darcy] Fuck!

731
00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:47,270
[pirate 2 panting]

732
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:49,550
- [grunts]
- [pirate 2] Ow!

733
00:33:49,750 --> 00:33:51,300
- Never mind! Never mind.
- Why did you do that?

734
00:33:51,500 --> 00:33:54,110
- Never mind!
- [both scream and grunt]

735
00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:59,480
- [groaning] You were right.
- [panting]

736
00:33:59,670 --> 00:34:01,620
That hairspray was
so much worse than the net.

737
00:34:02,790 --> 00:34:03,790
[Tom grunts]

738
00:34:05,660 --> 00:34:06,900
- [Darcy] Ow!
- [pirate 2] Get up.

739
00:34:07,100 --> 00:34:08,080
[Darcy] Okay.

740
00:34:08,750 --> 00:34:10,460
[both grunt]

741
00:34:11,500 --> 00:34:12,990
- [Tom] Come on.
- [Darcy] Don't strangle me.

742
00:34:13,190 --> 00:34:15,200
- [Tom] Turn your arm.
- [pirate 2] I have them alive.

743
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:16,410
Wait, wait. What?

744
00:34:16,610 --> 00:34:19,180
[pirate 2 on radio]
<i>Bungalow 15. Pick me up.</i>

745
00:34:20,510 --> 00:34:21,810
[pirate leader] Go collect them.

746
00:34:22,850 --> 00:34:25,020
And then we can begin.

747
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:27,310
[both grunting]

748
00:34:33,690 --> 00:34:34,990
You doing okay, Jamie?

749
00:34:37,240 --> 00:34:39,430
My stomach feels like
it's gonna fall through my asshole.

750
00:34:39,630 --> 00:34:41,370
But otherwise, I'm chill.

751
00:34:42,240 --> 00:34:44,020
Listen, it's normal to feel scared.

752
00:34:44,220 --> 00:34:45,910
But I'm not gonna let
anything happen to you

753
00:34:46,500 --> 00:34:48,920
or your family. Promise.

754
00:34:50,420 --> 00:34:51,710
[Jeannie] Hey, Sean?

755
00:34:52,250 --> 00:34:53,700
I am also feeling scared.

756
00:34:53,900 --> 00:34:55,700
Like the most scared
I've ever been in my whole life.

757
00:34:55,900 --> 00:34:58,090
It's like I just watched <i>The Ring,</i>
you know?

758
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:01,830
[Harriett] Robbie, baby, I want you
to practice the breathing exercise

759
00:35:02,030 --> 00:35:04,000
that we learned at Esalen, okay?

760
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:06,850
I'm gonna hit a pressure point.
Ready? And...

761
00:35:07,350 --> 00:35:08,290
[joints pop]

762
00:35:08,490 --> 00:35:10,400
- Breathe. Breathe.
- [breathing sharply]

763
00:35:11,230 --> 00:35:12,210
From the diaphragm.

764
00:35:12,410 --> 00:35:14,340
- I think I'm gonna throw up now.
- It's okay. You're doing fine.

765
00:35:14,540 --> 00:35:18,220
If he keeps making that noise,
just go ahead and shoot me.

766
00:35:18,420 --> 00:35:19,640
- [Robert pants]
- [laughing]

767
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:22,030
[pirate leader] The happy couple
will be here in a second.

768
00:35:22,780 --> 00:35:24,310
So let's get to business.

769
00:35:24,510 --> 00:35:26,370
Where is the father of the bride?

770
00:35:29,710 --> 00:35:32,330
Robert. He's calling ya again.

771
00:35:34,420 --> 00:35:37,260
Thanks, Carol. [grunts]

772
00:35:37,670 --> 00:35:38,840
Okay, what do you want?

773
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:44,210
[pirate leader] Well, we call my colleague
on the satellite phone,

774
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:47,420
and you transfer $45 million
to a bank account.

775
00:35:47,620 --> 00:35:49,000
[Harriett] What? What?

776
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:50,640
I don't have that kind of money.

777
00:35:51,060 --> 00:35:55,340
[pirate leader] We googled you.
Net worth is $60 million.

778
00:35:55,540 --> 00:35:58,490
I'm not giving you anything
until I find out if my daughter's safe.

779
00:35:59,530 --> 00:36:01,740
- And your son-in-law.
- Yeah, him too.

780
00:36:02,450 --> 00:36:03,470
Okay.

781
00:36:03,670 --> 00:36:06,240
I can wait two minutes
to take all your money.

782
00:36:06,990 --> 00:36:08,000
This way.

783
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:11,980
You want some pineapple candies?

784
00:36:12,180 --> 00:36:15,440
They're from that weird welcome bag
we got, but I found them in my pocket.

785
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:19,090
No, I don't want loose, wet candy
from your gross pockets.

786
00:36:21,630 --> 00:36:22,760
Okay.

787
00:36:23,550 --> 00:36:24,800
Suit yourself.

788
00:36:30,980 --> 00:36:32,210
Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

789
00:36:32,410 --> 00:36:33,300
- I'm starving.
- No.

790
00:36:33,500 --> 00:36:34,650
[Jamie gasps]

791
00:36:36,690 --> 00:36:38,050
- You're an asshole.
- Hmm.

792
00:36:38,250 --> 00:36:40,090
God, I can't believe
that I had sex with you.

793
00:36:40,290 --> 00:36:42,450
Honestly, I was pretty surprised
by that too.

794
00:36:42,740 --> 00:36:45,020
[Darcy] My parents, they got divorced
when I was in high school,

795
00:36:45,220 --> 00:36:47,870
and my first engagement was a disaster.

796
00:36:48,450 --> 00:36:50,770
What about you? Are you dating anyone?

797
00:36:50,970 --> 00:36:52,190
Have you always wanted to be a pirate?

798
00:36:52,390 --> 00:36:54,370
No more talk, lady.

799
00:37:00,210 --> 00:37:01,740
Excuse me, sirs.

800
00:37:01,940 --> 00:37:03,080
Darcy, they're gonna hurt you.

801
00:37:03,270 --> 00:37:05,790
I just can't help but notice
that you guys smell like cigarettes,

802
00:37:05,990 --> 00:37:08,290
and I am loving it.

803
00:37:08,490 --> 00:37:10,790
Is there any way I could bum a cigarette?

804
00:37:10,990 --> 00:37:12,330
I mean, I think it might help with the...

805
00:37:12,530 --> 00:37:14,040
the panic and dread
I'm experiencing right now.

806
00:37:14,240 --> 00:37:15,340
Since when do you smoke cigarettes?

807
00:37:15,540 --> 00:37:16,610
It's...

808
00:37:17,770 --> 00:37:19,550
I just... You don't even
have to untie my hands.

809
00:37:19,750 --> 00:37:21,930
I mean, I... I can smoke with no hands.

810
00:37:22,130 --> 00:37:24,350
You could just put it right in my mouth.

811
00:37:24,550 --> 00:37:25,560
[pirate 2] Give her a cigarette.

812
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:27,310
- Please.
- Maybe it will shut her up.

813
00:37:27,510 --> 00:37:29,240
[Darcy] Yes, yes, yes, it will shut me up.

814
00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:32,620
Oh, thank you.

815
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:36,580
You guys are the...

816
00:37:38,170 --> 00:37:39,110
best.

817
00:37:39,310 --> 00:37:40,780
- [searing]
- [pirate 2] What?

818
00:37:40,980 --> 00:37:42,970
- Fire!
- [Darcy screaming]

819
00:37:44,630 --> 00:37:45,990
[Tom] Oh, my God!

820
00:37:46,190 --> 00:37:49,080
- [gasps]
- Oh, my God! Flamethrower!

821
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:50,290
- [laughing]
- Oh, my...

822
00:37:50,490 --> 00:37:53,230
See, that's why you only have a plan
with one step!

823
00:37:54,940 --> 00:37:55,960
[Tom gasps]

824
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:57,340
- No!
- Oh, my God!

825
00:37:57,540 --> 00:37:59,650
- Get the brakes!
- I'm trying! I'm trying!

826
00:38:00,980 --> 00:38:02,550
[Darcy screams]

827
00:38:02,750 --> 00:38:04,700
[both grunting]

828
00:38:07,530 --> 00:38:08,640
- [shrieks]
- Cliff!

829
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:10,060
- Cliff! Cliff!
- [Darcy] I see it!

830
00:38:10,260 --> 00:38:11,480
Get it into park!

831
00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:13,540
[Tom] I'm trying! [grunting]

832
00:38:14,450 --> 00:38:16,070
- [Darcy] Oh, God! Oh, my God!
- [Tom] God!

833
00:38:16,260 --> 00:38:17,580
[grunting]

834
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:20,210
Oh, slide out!

835
00:38:20,790 --> 00:38:23,280
[both grunting and gasping]

836
00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:24,990
[both laugh]

837
00:38:25,190 --> 00:38:26,740
- [thud]
- [both gasp]

838
00:38:26,940 --> 00:38:29,330
[Darcy] My dress! My dress, Tom!

839
00:38:29,530 --> 00:38:30,700
Tom, don't let go!

840
00:38:30,900 --> 00:38:32,850
- Don't you let go!
- [gasping]

841
00:38:33,180 --> 00:38:35,310
[Darcy] I'm stuck! I'm stuck!

842
00:38:36,060 --> 00:38:37,750
[screaming]

843
00:38:37,950 --> 00:38:39,170
- [Tom strains]
- [dress rips]

844
00:38:39,370 --> 00:38:40,560
[Darcy grunts]

845
00:38:48,030 --> 00:38:49,870
[both panting]

846
00:38:52,030 --> 00:38:53,490
[gunshots]

847
00:38:55,500 --> 00:38:57,230
- Go!
- [whimpering]

848
00:38:57,430 --> 00:38:59,420
Go. Go, go, go. Go, go, go.

849
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:02,740
- [gunshots continue]
- [Darcy screams]

850
00:39:02,940 --> 00:39:04,950
[Tom panting]

851
00:39:05,150 --> 00:39:07,030
Quick, do something baseball-y.

852
00:39:07,230 --> 00:39:09,220
What? This is nothing like baseball!

853
00:39:10,180 --> 00:39:11,970
- Down! Down, down!
- [Darcy] Fuck!

854
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:13,810
[gun clicks]

855
00:39:14,100 --> 00:39:16,790
- He's out of ammo.
- Right.

856
00:39:16,990 --> 00:39:18,350
- Run at him!
- What?

857
00:39:19,690 --> 00:39:21,170
- Go. Believe me, just go!
- No, no, no!

858
00:39:21,370 --> 00:39:22,360
[all grunt]

859
00:39:23,230 --> 00:39:24,070
[gasps]

860
00:39:26,030 --> 00:39:27,940
- Grenade!
- He has a grenade!

861
00:39:28,860 --> 00:39:29,810
Sir!

862
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:31,350
Sir, sir.

863
00:39:31,550 --> 00:39:33,020
Give me the grenade, sir. Sir!

864
00:39:33,220 --> 00:39:35,980
Sir, give me the grenade. Sir. Sir!

865
00:39:36,180 --> 00:39:38,000
[all grunting]

866
00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:42,040
- [Tom groans]
- [Darcy] Ah-ow. Ow!

867
00:39:44,170 --> 00:39:46,920
- [bones crack]
- [both panting]

868
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:54,540
[whispering] Oh, my God.

869
00:39:54,740 --> 00:39:56,720
- Is he dead?
- I don't know.

870
00:39:57,970 --> 00:39:59,430
[shouts] Are you dead?

871
00:40:07,730 --> 00:40:10,300
Oh, yeah, he's very not alive.

872
00:40:10,500 --> 00:40:12,390
Not alive. Oh, boy.

873
00:40:12,590 --> 00:40:14,390
- Yes! You killed him!
- Yeah!

874
00:40:14,590 --> 00:40:16,640
Yeah, I killed him! I killed him!

875
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:18,150
[both laughing]

876
00:40:18,340 --> 00:40:20,400
Oh, my God, I killed a man.

877
00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:23,190
I killed a man. No.

878
00:40:23,390 --> 00:40:25,400
- [gasping]
- How do you feel?

879
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:27,610
I feel... Oh, my God. I feel horrible.

880
00:40:27,810 --> 00:40:30,120
- Yeah.
- But excited.

881
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:32,280
You know, like, happy.
Like, I'm gonna shit my pants.

882
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:33,370
- Yeah.
- You know, like,

883
00:40:33,570 --> 00:40:34,910
but in a good way. You know?

884
00:40:35,110 --> 00:40:36,220
[Darcy] Huh.

885
00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:37,760
Oh, my God.

886
00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:40,080
I'm gonna go to prison.

887
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:41,250
- I'm gonna...
- No!

888
00:40:41,450 --> 00:40:43,000
- Yeah.
- No. It was... It...

889
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:44,920
It was self-defense.
He was trying to kill us.

890
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:46,400
Any court would...

891
00:40:47,230 --> 00:40:48,360
Any court...

892
00:40:49,030 --> 00:40:49,970
Are you okay?

893
00:40:50,170 --> 00:40:52,760
Yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine.

894
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:55,600
It's just, you know, I looked over there
and I saw all the blood.

895
00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:57,350
And, you know, I think I saw some brain.

896
00:40:57,550 --> 00:40:59,140
- Was that brain stuff?
- Yeah. Yeah.

897
00:40:59,340 --> 00:41:02,900
And so I'm just gonna look up at the sky
and... so I don't pass out.

898
00:41:03,100 --> 00:41:04,480
Okay. Well, you know what?
Maybe we should...

899
00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:05,980
- [huffing]
- Let's just step away

900
00:41:06,180 --> 00:41:07,070
from the scene.

901
00:41:07,270 --> 00:41:08,200
- And don't look down.
- Okay.

902
00:41:08,390 --> 00:41:09,340
- Okay.
- Just don't look down.

903
00:41:10,670 --> 00:41:12,370
[pirate leader]
They should be here by now.

904
00:41:12,570 --> 00:41:13,450
Head up the road.

905
00:41:13,650 --> 00:41:14,930
- Check on them.
- [pirate 3] Yeah.

906
00:41:18,390 --> 00:41:20,460
[breathing through teeth]

907
00:41:20,660 --> 00:41:23,790
All right. We need to get off this island.

908
00:41:23,990 --> 00:41:26,920
Well, it might help that
I got this grenade for us.

909
00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:29,380
I mean, he was trying
to blow us up, but I got it.

910
00:41:29,580 --> 00:41:31,740
I got it. Another point for Darcy.

911
00:41:32,650 --> 00:41:34,140
[blows sharply]

912
00:41:34,340 --> 00:41:35,850
Okay, Darcy.

913
00:41:36,050 --> 00:41:36,990
Uh...

914
00:41:37,820 --> 00:41:39,160
Do you remember

915
00:41:39,780 --> 00:41:41,600
that time that we were
driving down the highway

916
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:44,730
and you very calmly told me to pull over?

917
00:41:44,930 --> 00:41:46,400
And you waited until we pulled over

918
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:49,250
to tell me that there was
a giant spider on my head?

919
00:41:49,790 --> 00:41:51,110
Yeah. Yeah.

920
00:41:51,310 --> 00:41:52,510
Yeah, well, that was very smart.

921
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:57,410
Because if you had told me before,
I might have panicked and crashed the car.

922
00:41:57,610 --> 00:41:58,700
Wait. Is there a spider on my head?

923
00:41:58,900 --> 00:42:00,210
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

924
00:42:00,410 --> 00:42:02,310
No, no. I tell you this story because...

925
00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:04,590
I don't want you to panic

926
00:42:04,780 --> 00:42:06,650
when I tell you
what I'm about to tell you.

927
00:42:07,650 --> 00:42:10,360
Your grenade doesn't have a pin.

928
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:15,970
- What does that mean?
- Well...

929
00:42:16,170 --> 00:42:17,850
Well, is it... is it...
is it gonna explode?

930
00:42:18,050 --> 00:42:19,770
No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.

931
00:42:19,970 --> 00:42:22,040
Hold it exactly how you're
holding it. Good. Good.

932
00:42:22,330 --> 00:42:24,270
- Okay. Okay.
- Mm-hmm.

933
00:42:24,470 --> 00:42:26,400
That pin holds the handle on.

934
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:29,480
But when you let go of the grenade,
the handle pops off,

935
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:32,500
which lights the fuse,
and the whole thing goes...

936
00:42:33,460 --> 00:42:34,450
boom.

937
00:42:34,650 --> 00:42:36,340
[whispers] How do you know
so much about grenades?

938
00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:38,080
Video games.

939
00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:39,950
So what should I do?
Should... Should I throw it?

940
00:42:40,150 --> 00:42:43,710
Well, my concern is that you won't be able
to throw it far enough to not blow us up.

941
00:42:43,910 --> 00:42:45,810
- No offense.
- God.

942
00:42:46,180 --> 00:42:48,460
So, what, I just...
I just hold this live grenade?

943
00:42:48,660 --> 00:42:50,590
This grenade is just part of my life now?

944
00:42:50,790 --> 00:42:52,150
Yeah, for now, yeah, yeah, yeah.

945
00:42:56,070 --> 00:42:57,490
Okay, here's the plan.

946
00:42:58,740 --> 00:42:59,810
We're gonna get a knife.

947
00:43:00,010 --> 00:43:00,850
- Okay. All right.
- I'm gonna cut

948
00:43:01,050 --> 00:43:03,200
through these ties,
we're gonna get rid of that grenade,

949
00:43:03,910 --> 00:43:05,190
and then we're gonna
head down to the docks.

950
00:43:05,390 --> 00:43:07,020
We're gonna bum-rush
the pirate guarding it,

951
00:43:07,220 --> 00:43:09,620
hop in a boat, and head
to the next island for help.

952
00:43:10,210 --> 00:43:13,400
- Okay?
- Tom, that plan...

953
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:16,010
[sighs] Has too many steps.
I see that now.

954
00:43:16,670 --> 00:43:18,720
[sighs] Now, you got a simpler one?

955
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:21,330
- Yes. Yes.
- What?

956
00:43:21,530 --> 00:43:23,290
- Yes. Okay.
- What are you doing?

957
00:43:23,490 --> 00:43:25,000
Get down here. Found it.

958
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:26,540
- Found it. Yes.
- What are we doing?

959
00:43:26,740 --> 00:43:28,380
- Right here.
- What are we doing?

960
00:43:28,580 --> 00:43:30,650
- [laughs triumphantly]
- Oh.

961
00:43:31,310 --> 00:43:32,300
Oh.

962
00:43:32,500 --> 00:43:34,840
Find cell service. Call for help.

963
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:36,340
When did you put that in your underwear?

964
00:43:36,540 --> 00:43:37,680
[chuckles]

965
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:39,510
Right before the pirates
took us out of the cabana.

966
00:43:39,710 --> 00:43:41,430
Because I'm a sneaky little bitch.

967
00:43:41,630 --> 00:43:44,030
Oh, you are a sneaky little bitch.

968
00:43:44,740 --> 00:43:45,980
- Thank you.
- [sighs]

969
00:43:46,180 --> 00:43:47,560
- Okay.
- Let's start walking.

970
00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:49,540
[Darcy] Sneaky. Sneaky little bitch.

971
00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:53,530
You're testing my patience, Robert!

972
00:43:53,730 --> 00:43:54,990
Look, you want my money?
I want my daughter.

973
00:43:55,190 --> 00:43:56,660
- It's a simple negotiation.
- [pirate leader] Enough!

974
00:43:56,850 --> 00:43:57,740
All right.

975
00:43:57,940 --> 00:43:58,820
[Carol] They're bringing him back.

976
00:43:59,020 --> 00:43:59,950
[pirate leader] Move.

977
00:44:00,150 --> 00:44:02,410
[Sean] Robert. What happened?
Are you okay?

978
00:44:02,610 --> 00:44:03,540
They didn't hurt you, did they?

979
00:44:03,740 --> 00:44:06,920
Well, I'm not giving them a dime
till I know my daughter's alive.

980
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:08,850
That didn't go over very well.

981
00:44:09,430 --> 00:44:11,670
I'm afraid they're gonna start
shooting the hostages.

982
00:44:11,870 --> 00:44:12,800
[Sean] I don't think
they're gonna do that.

983
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:14,810
[Harriett] Isn't that exactly
what pirates do?

984
00:44:22,240 --> 00:44:24,910
Come out, Mr. Pirate Man!

985
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:33,330
My name

986
00:44:34,460 --> 00:44:37,590
is Carol Elaine Fowler,

987
00:44:38,670 --> 00:44:40,470
and I deserve to live.

988
00:44:41,470 --> 00:44:44,450
Carol, what are you doing?

989
00:44:44,650 --> 00:44:46,040
[whispering] I'm humanizing myself.

990
00:44:46,240 --> 00:44:47,750
[in normal tone] I saw it
on <i>Good Morning America.</i>

991
00:44:47,950 --> 00:44:51,520
If you humanize yourself to them,
they let you live.

992
00:44:54,190 --> 00:44:57,730
I am a wife. I am a mother.

993
00:44:58,190 --> 00:45:02,850
And I was Milford, Michigan's top realtor
in 1998,

994
00:45:03,050 --> 00:45:05,240
and again in 2007.

995
00:45:06,070 --> 00:45:09,370
I dream of going to Ireland.

996
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:13,710
I was a late bloomer
and my teeth didn't come in till I was 14.

997
00:45:14,330 --> 00:45:15,380
Please pick me.

998
00:45:15,750 --> 00:45:17,540
My name is Jeannie Reed.

999
00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:22,220
I am a devoted mother
and a slightly less devoted wife.

1000
00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:24,450
This is my first vacation without my kids,

1001
00:45:24,650 --> 00:45:27,160
so I drank a lot of champagne
before the ceremony,

1002
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:28,210
took a couple of weed gummies,

1003
00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:30,620
and the combination
is really killing me right now.

1004
00:45:30,820 --> 00:45:34,920
I'm Amanda Walker.
I'm a godmother and a woman in tech.

1005
00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:37,020
- I went to--
- I am Renata.

1006
00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:40,110
I'm from Brazil.

1007
00:45:41,110 --> 00:45:43,800
I have beautiful hair.

1008
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:44,900
Yeah. Very beautiful.

1009
00:45:45,700 --> 00:45:46,820
What else?

1010
00:45:48,450 --> 00:45:49,580
You're a mother.

1011
00:45:50,450 --> 00:45:51,910
I am a mother.

1012
00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:54,440
My name is Ricky Silver.

1013
00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:56,570
A lot of my friends, they're pairing up,

1014
00:45:56,770 --> 00:45:59,570
and they're getting married
and drinking loose-leaf tea and shit.

1015
00:45:59,770 --> 00:46:01,710
And I'm still single. But last night...

1016
00:46:03,260 --> 00:46:06,970
I made love to a gorgeous
and terrifying woman.

1017
00:46:07,510 --> 00:46:08,800
You think I'm terrifying?

1018
00:46:09,890 --> 00:46:11,640
You scare the shit out of me.

1019
00:46:12,430 --> 00:46:14,430
[light music playing]

1020
00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:18,150
I'm Larry Fowler.

1021
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:21,440
[music halts]

1022
00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:24,440
Oh...

1023
00:46:24,940 --> 00:46:25,950
Thank you.

1024
00:46:27,490 --> 00:46:28,910
- Oh.
- [Jeannie] Oh, easy, Dad.

1025
00:46:29,910 --> 00:46:31,020
- Hold the phone. Yes.
- [Tom] How am I gonna...

1026
00:46:31,220 --> 00:46:32,190
- Hold it steady.
- [Darcy] Hold it. Hold on.

1027
00:46:32,390 --> 00:46:34,690
I just gotta get this thing
out of my head.

1028
00:46:34,890 --> 00:46:37,650
It's driving me crazy. [sighs]

1029
00:46:37,850 --> 00:46:39,830
- Wait. Hold on. Just wait.
- What are you...

1030
00:46:41,130 --> 00:46:43,070
What are you...
Are you stuffing a loose wad

1031
00:46:43,270 --> 00:46:44,660
of hair in my pocket?

1032
00:46:44,860 --> 00:46:47,280
Yes. A loose wad of very expensive,

1033
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:49,370
custom-made hair
that I would like to keep.

1034
00:46:49,570 --> 00:46:50,890
If we survive.

1035
00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:53,540
[laughing]

1036
00:46:53,740 --> 00:46:55,020
What's so funny?

1037
00:46:57,100 --> 00:46:58,800
- I've just been...
- Ow, ow, ow!

1038
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:01,550
...questioning everything lately.

1039
00:47:01,750 --> 00:47:04,680
What if the wedding's not perfect?
What if your parents never like me?

1040
00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:06,890
What does life look like after baseball?

1041
00:47:07,090 --> 00:47:08,720
But not once did I wonder

1042
00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:13,080
if I'd be walking handcuffed
through the jungle with a live grenade.

1043
00:47:13,790 --> 00:47:17,900
Oh. Pirates chasing you
wasn't on your vision board?

1044
00:47:18,100 --> 00:47:20,210
Well, you were the only thing
on my vision board.

1045
00:47:21,250 --> 00:47:22,240
[Darcy grunts]

1046
00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:23,490
- [Darcy yelps]
- [grunts]

1047
00:47:23,690 --> 00:47:24,650
- I got it, I got it, I got it.
- Oh! Oh!

1048
00:47:24,850 --> 00:47:26,320
- You got it? You got it?
- I got it. I got it.

1049
00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:29,340
- Okay. I got it.
- Oh, good. Okay. Oh. [panting]

1050
00:47:31,550 --> 00:47:33,510
- We have a bar.
- Oh, good.

1051
00:47:34,220 --> 00:47:35,210
All right.

1052
00:47:35,410 --> 00:47:36,630
- Keep your hands with me.
- Okay.

1053
00:47:36,820 --> 00:47:38,380
- Okay.
- Call for help.

1054
00:47:38,580 --> 00:47:40,440
Yes. Shit! It's gone.

1055
00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:43,020
- [groans]
- [Tom] Well, keep trying.

1056
00:47:47,150 --> 00:47:48,800
- I think, maybe...
- We have to go higher.

1057
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:50,200
- What?
- Yes.

1058
00:47:50,740 --> 00:47:53,240
Not... No. No, no, no.
Uh, I don't like higher.

1059
00:47:55,700 --> 00:47:57,700
[intense music playing]

1060
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:06,990
Yeah, I don't... I don't think
this thing is built to code.

1061
00:48:07,190 --> 00:48:08,620
- Tom.
- Anything?

1062
00:48:08,810 --> 00:48:10,680
No. Come on.

1063
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:13,580
- Yeah.
- We're almost at the top.

1064
00:48:13,780 --> 00:48:16,710
Maybe we should go back down
so we're not up so high.

1065
00:48:16,910 --> 00:48:19,670
Don't think about the heights right now.
Okay? We're safe.

1066
00:48:19,870 --> 00:48:21,890
Yeah. You use the word "safe"
very loosely.

1067
00:48:22,900 --> 00:48:24,020
Oh, my God.

1068
00:48:27,730 --> 00:48:28,680
[cell phone chimes]

1069
00:48:28,880 --> 00:48:30,050
- Full service. Full service.
- Oh, yes.

1070
00:48:30,250 --> 00:48:31,390
- I have full service.
- [chiming continues]

1071
00:48:31,590 --> 00:48:32,510
[Tom] Whoa, whoa, whoa. Silence it.

1072
00:48:32,710 --> 00:48:34,390
- [whispers] I'm trying.
- [Tom shushes]

1073
00:48:34,590 --> 00:48:36,240
- [chiming continues]
- [birds chirping]

1074
00:48:39,580 --> 00:48:41,190
Your group chat is out of control.

1075
00:48:41,390 --> 00:48:43,280
I will not apologize
for having enthusiastic friends.

1076
00:48:43,470 --> 00:48:44,790
- [gunshots]
- [both yelp]

1077
00:48:46,840 --> 00:48:48,030
Oh! You dropped it.

1078
00:48:48,230 --> 00:48:49,960
- [Darcy] Come on!
- [gunshots continue]

1079
00:48:50,510 --> 00:48:52,160
- We gotta zip.
- Zip?

1080
00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:53,590
What do you mean, "zip"?

1081
00:48:54,590 --> 00:48:56,620
- Oh! Zip. Oh, God!
- [gunshot]

1082
00:48:56,820 --> 00:48:58,010
Go, go, go.

1083
00:48:58,680 --> 00:49:00,500
No, I don't think we have
the proper equipment.

1084
00:49:00,700 --> 00:49:02,040
- [gunshot]
- Well, they have guns.

1085
00:49:02,240 --> 00:49:03,250
[Tom] Is there some kind of a manual?

1086
00:49:03,450 --> 00:49:04,380
[pirate 3] Come down!

1087
00:49:04,580 --> 00:49:06,920
[Tom] We need helmets.
I see lots of helmets in the photos.

1088
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:07,920
[Darcy grunts]

1089
00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:09,340
And then why do they look scared?

1090
00:49:09,540 --> 00:49:11,150
[Darcy] Stop thinking so much. Jump!

1091
00:49:11,940 --> 00:49:14,030
[Tom screaming]

1092
00:49:17,740 --> 00:49:20,480
- Stop screaming!
- Oh, God! Oh, my God!

1093
00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:21,810
Whoa!

1094
00:49:22,010 --> 00:49:23,060
Tom, don't let go.

1095
00:49:23,260 --> 00:49:25,210
- [gunshots]
- The fuck!

1096
00:49:25,790 --> 00:49:28,170
[both screaming]

1097
00:49:29,300 --> 00:49:31,110
[Tom] Hold on, baby. Hold on.

1098
00:49:31,310 --> 00:49:32,470
Okay.

1099
00:49:34,590 --> 00:49:36,370
[Tom screaming]

1100
00:49:36,570 --> 00:49:37,510
[grenade clatters]

1101
00:49:38,220 --> 00:49:39,220
[pirate 4] Uh...

1102
00:49:40,260 --> 00:49:43,690
- Yeah! [laughs]
- [Darcy] Yeah!

1103
00:49:44,350 --> 00:49:46,130
[pirate leader] What the hell was that?

1104
00:49:46,330 --> 00:49:48,440
- [Darcy screaming]
- [laughing]

1105
00:49:50,020 --> 00:49:52,360
[Tom screaming]

1106
00:49:56,910 --> 00:49:57,950
[Darcy] Oh, God!

1107
00:50:00,540 --> 00:50:02,190
- [Darcy] Oh, God!
- How do we land this thing?

1108
00:50:02,390 --> 00:50:03,730
Me first. I'm gonna go first.

1109
00:50:03,930 --> 00:50:06,730
- What about me?
- No, let me. Me first.

1110
00:50:06,930 --> 00:50:08,400
I'm gonna jump. I'm gonna jump.

1111
00:50:08,600 --> 00:50:10,740
- [Tom] Okay, okay.
- I got it. I got it.

1112
00:50:10,940 --> 00:50:12,130
Here I go!

1113
00:50:14,420 --> 00:50:15,840
[Darcy groans]

1114
00:50:17,430 --> 00:50:20,390
[Tom] Oh! [groaning]

1115
00:50:22,390 --> 00:50:23,810
[Tom panting]

1116
00:50:26,940 --> 00:50:28,900
[solemn music playing]

1117
00:50:37,030 --> 00:50:38,990
[suspenseful music playing]

1118
00:50:45,370 --> 00:50:47,040
[pirate leader] These people are sick.

1119
00:50:47,790 --> 00:50:51,150
You find them, but I kill them.

1120
00:50:51,350 --> 00:50:52,880
[rustling]

1121
00:50:54,380 --> 00:50:55,800
[pirate 2] You can have the man,

1122
00:50:56,840 --> 00:50:58,630
but the bride is mine.

1123
00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:03,460
[Darcy] Police, coast guard,
they're all right there.

1124
00:51:03,660 --> 00:51:04,870
- How do we get across?
- I don't know.

1125
00:51:05,070 --> 00:51:07,540
[Carol] Okay, let's all go around
and play two truths and a lie.

1126
00:51:07,740 --> 00:51:08,670
[pirate] Be quiet!

1127
00:51:08,870 --> 00:51:10,020
- Carol.
- Mom.

1128
00:51:10,480 --> 00:51:11,860
- [Darcy] Easy.
- [mumbles]

1129
00:51:12,690 --> 00:51:13,900
Okay, come on.

1130
00:51:14,650 --> 00:51:15,940
Come on, come on, come on.

1131
00:51:20,990 --> 00:51:22,350
[Darcy] Oh, my God.

1132
00:51:22,550 --> 00:51:23,870
Oh, my God. [crying]

1133
00:51:25,750 --> 00:51:27,120
I'm gonna fix this.

1134
00:51:31,130 --> 00:51:32,490
[Darcy] My poor mom.

1135
00:51:32,690 --> 00:51:35,460
She thought she was gonna be able
to avoid my dad all weekend.

1136
00:51:37,050 --> 00:51:39,590
My mom used to love my dad so much.

1137
00:51:42,010 --> 00:51:43,660
He was her whole world.

1138
00:51:43,860 --> 00:51:46,600
Then when he left, she just lost her joy.

1139
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:49,230
I mean, she acts tough, but...

1140
00:51:51,900 --> 00:51:53,610
she never really recovered.

1141
00:51:58,990 --> 00:52:00,610
- Darcy, I'm sorry...
- I know.

1142
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:03,700
We have to keep moving.

1143
00:52:06,990 --> 00:52:08,040
[both gasp]

1144
00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:14,880
[amusing music playing]

1145
00:52:19,550 --> 00:52:21,430
[whispering] What the hell does that mean?

1146
00:52:25,010 --> 00:52:26,010
[whispering] Kitchen.

1147
00:52:28,930 --> 00:52:30,340
- [door opens]
- [Tom grunts]

1148
00:52:30,530 --> 00:52:32,190
Okay, we need to find a knife.

1149
00:52:32,690 --> 00:52:34,710
- Oh. Mmm.
- What... What...

1150
00:52:34,910 --> 00:52:35,760
What are you doing?

1151
00:52:35,960 --> 00:52:37,340
I'm starving. Have you eaten today?

1152
00:52:37,540 --> 00:52:38,510
No, I'm not hungry.

1153
00:52:38,710 --> 00:52:39,970
Yes, you are. You're acting cranky.

1154
00:52:40,170 --> 00:52:42,990
- Mmm. Mmm! Mmm.
- [Darcy] Mmm.

1155
00:52:44,740 --> 00:52:46,950
- Mmm, this is so delicious.
- [indistinct radio chatter]

1156
00:52:48,620 --> 00:52:49,700
[Darcy gasps]

1157
00:52:58,210 --> 00:52:59,780
[whispering] I love your mom.

1158
00:52:59,980 --> 00:53:01,220
Okay, come on.

1159
00:53:02,300 --> 00:53:04,120
Come on. Ow! Easy, easy.

1160
00:53:04,320 --> 00:53:05,500
I can't cut with one hand.

1161
00:53:05,690 --> 00:53:07,260
Well, I can't cut with no hands.

1162
00:53:11,890 --> 00:53:13,630
We need to find something else.

1163
00:53:13,830 --> 00:53:14,900
Okay?

1164
00:53:15,650 --> 00:53:17,980
Something that cuts through plastic.

1165
00:53:18,900 --> 00:53:20,280
Hmm...

1166
00:53:22,900 --> 00:53:23,910
Yep.

1167
00:53:24,410 --> 00:53:26,160
[whirring]

1168
00:53:28,830 --> 00:53:30,310
- Is this a bad idea?
- Yeah.

1169
00:53:30,510 --> 00:53:32,290
- You ready?
- No!

1170
00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:34,920
Okay.

1171
00:53:37,790 --> 00:53:39,380
[mumbles] There you go.

1172
00:53:41,170 --> 00:53:42,530
[loudly] Hang on, hang on, hang on!

1173
00:53:42,730 --> 00:53:43,740
[groans] Darcy, you're stalling.

1174
00:53:43,940 --> 00:53:44,950
- I know.
- We got this.

1175
00:53:45,150 --> 00:53:46,180
- Okay. Yes.
- We got this.

1176
00:53:46,890 --> 00:53:48,500
- On my count. Ready?
- Okay.

1177
00:53:48,700 --> 00:53:51,420
- Yes.
- Ten, nine, eight...

1178
00:53:51,620 --> 00:53:53,170
Why are you counting from ten?

1179
00:53:53,370 --> 00:53:54,500
What is this, a rocket launch?

1180
00:53:54,700 --> 00:53:55,690
Okay, fine. On four.

1181
00:53:56,310 --> 00:53:59,720
One, two, three--

1182
00:53:59,920 --> 00:54:01,220
No one goes on four.

1183
00:54:01,420 --> 00:54:02,760
- No one goes on four.
- All right...

1184
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:04,100
Shh! Shh.

1185
00:54:04,290 --> 00:54:05,930
- [grunts] Okay.
- Just...

1186
00:54:06,130 --> 00:54:08,180
- Just like a Band-Aid.
- Fine, fine.

1187
00:54:08,380 --> 00:54:09,480
- Ready? Go.
- Like a Band-Aid.

1188
00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:11,440
- [machine whines]
- [Tom screams]

1189
00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:13,910
- [groaning]
- [Darcy screams]

1190
00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:16,320
[blood dripping]

1191
00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:18,070
[muffled screaming]

1192
00:54:18,270 --> 00:54:19,250
[squeals]

1193
00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:22,800
[groans] Oh, my God.

1194
00:54:27,220 --> 00:54:28,680
Come on. [grunts]

1195
00:54:33,350 --> 00:54:35,420
[tense music playing]

1196
00:54:35,620 --> 00:54:37,730
- [sizzling]
- [liquid boiling]

1197
00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:04,920
[cocks gun]

1198
00:55:05,630 --> 00:55:06,800
Tom!

1199
00:55:08,590 --> 00:55:09,840
[softly] Tom.

1200
00:55:10,340 --> 00:55:12,350
- [dish clangs]
- [Tom grunts]

1201
00:55:19,900 --> 00:55:20,900
[grunts]

1202
00:55:22,820 --> 00:55:23,820
[pirate grunts]

1203
00:55:26,820 --> 00:55:28,700
[squeaking]

1204
00:55:29,070 --> 00:55:30,610
[both grunting]

1205
00:55:40,500 --> 00:55:41,920
[pirate screams]

1206
00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:44,050
[pirate yells]

1207
00:55:50,680 --> 00:55:52,600
[Tom panting]

1208
00:55:56,520 --> 00:55:58,480
[continues panting]

1209
00:56:02,350 --> 00:56:03,650
I thought you left.

1210
00:56:05,110 --> 00:56:06,190
What?

1211
00:56:08,650 --> 00:56:09,650
No.

1212
00:56:11,360 --> 00:56:12,530
Never.

1213
00:56:16,910 --> 00:56:18,330
Where'd your mom's knife go?

1214
00:56:29,670 --> 00:56:31,510
Oh, Jesus, help me.

1215
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:39,270
[sighs in relief] That's good.

1216
00:56:40,680 --> 00:56:41,940
Throw me those boots.

1217
00:57:00,540 --> 00:57:02,580
[rousing music playing]

1218
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:08,840
What?

1219
00:57:09,760 --> 00:57:12,800
That dress is growing on me.

1220
00:57:15,430 --> 00:57:16,640
Thanks.

1221
00:57:17,390 --> 00:57:19,010
I wanted something less traditional.

1222
00:57:20,770 --> 00:57:22,730
[whirring]

1223
00:57:28,480 --> 00:57:30,150
[intense music playing]

1224
00:57:48,290 --> 00:57:51,170
Yes. Maybe Margy's got
a hard line to the Internet.

1225
00:57:52,760 --> 00:57:54,300
Wow, does Margy love corgis.

1226
00:57:55,970 --> 00:57:57,850
No. Damn it.

1227
00:57:58,970 --> 00:58:00,620
[pirate 2] You go over there,
I'll go here.

1228
00:58:00,820 --> 00:58:02,080
- [pirate 5] Yeah.
- They're right there.

1229
00:58:02,280 --> 00:58:03,770
- What do I do?
- I don't know.

1230
00:58:04,190 --> 00:58:05,560
I don't know.

1231
00:58:06,650 --> 00:58:08,050
- [Tom gasps]
- [shushes]

1232
00:58:08,250 --> 00:58:09,670
- Oh, Margy.
- This way.

1233
00:58:09,870 --> 00:58:10,900
[Tom] Go, go, go.

1234
00:58:11,940 --> 00:58:13,260
Okay. I got you.

1235
00:58:13,460 --> 00:58:15,280
[Darcy] It's okay. It's okay.

1236
00:58:16,280 --> 00:58:17,310
[door closes]

1237
00:58:17,510 --> 00:58:19,120
Come. Faster, faster.

1238
00:58:20,120 --> 00:58:21,810
Ace, Margy...

1239
00:58:22,010 --> 00:58:23,690
- Is this your bunker?
- [Ace] Uh-huh.

1240
00:58:23,890 --> 00:58:24,730
- Man cave.
- Is it spinning?

1241
00:58:24,930 --> 00:58:25,920
Is it spinning for anyone else?

1242
00:58:26,290 --> 00:58:27,980
You're losing blood. Sit down.

1243
00:58:28,180 --> 00:58:30,610
- Sit down. Okay.
- Bandages. Ace.

1244
00:58:30,810 --> 00:58:32,360
[Ace] I'll get the medical kit.

1245
00:58:32,560 --> 00:58:34,070
Give me your hand. I'm gonna wrap it.

1246
00:58:34,270 --> 00:58:36,090
No. No, no, no. No.

1247
00:58:36,720 --> 00:58:38,180
Are you sure? It's disgusting.

1248
00:58:39,680 --> 00:58:40,680
Yeah.

1249
00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:48,810
Oh. Cheers.

1250
00:58:51,770 --> 00:58:52,930
[shudders] Okay.

1251
00:58:53,130 --> 00:58:55,440
[groans] Looks like it's got a flap.

1252
00:58:56,700 --> 00:58:58,100
It's got a loose flap.

1253
00:58:58,300 --> 00:58:59,410
- Listen, just be...
- [Darcy] Mm-hmm.

1254
00:59:00,070 --> 00:59:02,230
Just... Just be careful with the flap.

1255
00:59:02,430 --> 00:59:04,690
Please stop saying "flap," okay?

1256
00:59:04,890 --> 00:59:06,960
I'm totally fine. Just don't say flap.

1257
00:59:07,750 --> 00:59:09,780
- [Margy] How many are there?
- Uh...

1258
00:59:09,980 --> 00:59:13,200
Two in the lobby.
Couple more by the pool with the hostages.

1259
00:59:13,400 --> 00:59:16,280
And, uh, one by the dock, right?

1260
00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:18,680
But we got four.

1261
00:59:19,430 --> 00:59:20,930
What do you mean, "got"?

1262
00:59:24,220 --> 00:59:26,640
Got them to stop, you know,

1263
00:59:27,890 --> 00:59:29,140
being alive.

1264
00:59:29,940 --> 00:59:31,550
Holy shit.

1265
00:59:31,750 --> 00:59:33,930
[Tom] Well, yeah, we didn't see
any of your staff, though.

1266
00:59:34,120 --> 00:59:36,260
I saw them getting locked up in the spa.

1267
00:59:36,460 --> 00:59:37,850
They never bother with the locals.

1268
00:59:38,050 --> 00:59:41,180
Americans are the rich idiots. No offense.

1269
00:59:41,380 --> 00:59:44,100
I just don't understand
why the pirates are still here.

1270
00:59:44,300 --> 00:59:45,940
Last time, they just looted the rooms.

1271
00:59:46,140 --> 00:59:49,160
Twenty minutes, gone. [sighs]

1272
00:59:50,460 --> 00:59:51,610
What do you mean, "last time"?

1273
00:59:51,810 --> 00:59:53,530
Last year. [speaking Filipino]

1274
00:59:53,730 --> 00:59:55,570
[in English] Two thousand islands
in the Philippines,

1275
00:59:55,770 --> 00:59:56,820
and they hit us twice?

1276
00:59:57,020 --> 00:59:58,340
- It's not fair.
- Wait, wait.

1277
00:59:59,340 --> 01:00:01,620
The pirates were here last summer?

1278
01:00:01,820 --> 01:00:03,200
And you let us have our wedding here?

1279
01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:06,850
What? Tom-Tom. We talked about it, huh?

1280
01:00:09,390 --> 01:00:10,340
You knew about this?

1281
01:00:10,540 --> 01:00:12,460
Well, first of all,
nobody got killed last summer.

1282
01:00:12,660 --> 01:00:13,590
And we both agreed that

1283
01:00:13,790 --> 01:00:15,880
the chances of it happening again
were very small.

1284
01:00:16,080 --> 01:00:17,820
- Who's "we"?
- Me and Margy.

1285
01:00:18,490 --> 01:00:19,550
We e-mailed a lot,

1286
01:00:19,750 --> 01:00:21,470
and I asked a lot of
tough questions, didn't I?

1287
01:00:21,670 --> 01:00:23,720
How could you not tell me about this?

1288
01:00:23,920 --> 01:00:25,310
You didn't tell me that
you were having doubts

1289
01:00:25,510 --> 01:00:26,560
about getting married, so...

1290
01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:29,580
Yeah, you're right. I didn't.
You know why?

1291
01:00:29,910 --> 01:00:33,780
Because all last year,
you were in your head about everything.

1292
01:00:33,980 --> 01:00:36,650
You thought my dad didn't like you,
so you started acting all weird.

1293
01:00:36,850 --> 01:00:38,090
And now my dad doesn't like you.

1294
01:00:38,760 --> 01:00:40,240
You thought the Robins
were gonna drop you.

1295
01:00:40,440 --> 01:00:42,660
And then you started playing badly,
and they did drop you.

1296
01:00:42,860 --> 01:00:44,750
You think that something bad
is gonna happen,

1297
01:00:44,950 --> 01:00:46,660
and then you make it happen.

1298
01:00:46,860 --> 01:00:48,210
That's called self-sabotage.

1299
01:00:48,410 --> 01:00:50,390
It is. Ace, thank you.

1300
01:00:50,810 --> 01:00:53,460
And all you were excited about
was this wedding.

1301
01:00:53,660 --> 01:00:56,590
And I knew that if I told you
that I was having doubts,

1302
01:00:56,790 --> 01:00:58,720
that you would sabotage
our whole relationship.

1303
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:00,340
Which you did anyway!

1304
01:01:00,540 --> 01:01:02,030
I didn't sabotage anything.

1305
01:01:02,530 --> 01:01:04,180
I tried to make this wedding perfect.

1306
01:01:04,380 --> 01:01:07,020
And it all got ruined the day
your boy Sean showed up.

1307
01:01:07,220 --> 01:01:08,810
This has nothing to do with Sean.

1308
01:01:09,010 --> 01:01:10,650
This is about your insecurities.

1309
01:01:10,850 --> 01:01:12,060
And this whole wedding

1310
01:01:12,260 --> 01:01:14,650
was your way of trying
to get control of your life,

1311
01:01:14,850 --> 01:01:15,990
because you have to control everything.

1312
01:01:16,180 --> 01:01:18,950
It's like when you get out of the car
to "help me" parallel park,

1313
01:01:19,150 --> 01:01:20,610
when I can do it just fine on my own.

1314
01:01:20,810 --> 01:01:22,330
Yeah, I wouldn't call
a 17-point turn "just fine."

1315
01:01:22,520 --> 01:01:24,490
Well, those jeans you bought
from Old Navy last month

1316
01:01:24,690 --> 01:01:25,830
were women's jeans.

1317
01:01:26,030 --> 01:01:27,080
Uh...

1318
01:01:27,280 --> 01:01:28,620
Well, I found them in the men's section.

1319
01:01:28,820 --> 01:01:30,040
They made you look like Stevie Nicks.

1320
01:01:30,240 --> 01:01:32,670
That haircut that you got last year,
I hated it.

1321
01:01:32,870 --> 01:01:35,300
It made your head look square.
You looked like a fucking Simpson.

1322
01:01:35,500 --> 01:01:36,920
You said it was chic.

1323
01:01:37,120 --> 01:01:38,720
You act so confident,

1324
01:01:38,920 --> 01:01:40,570
so strong,
but you're just a scared little girl.

1325
01:01:42,240 --> 01:01:44,430
You're afraid to go all in
on this relationship

1326
01:01:44,630 --> 01:01:46,810
because it means you might
have something to lose.

1327
01:01:47,010 --> 01:01:48,410
[breath trembling]

1328
01:01:53,830 --> 01:01:56,040
Well, you know what?
None of it matters anyway.

1329
01:01:57,130 --> 01:02:00,340
Because everyone we love could die.

1330
01:02:03,670 --> 01:02:04,970
Because of me.

1331
01:02:08,680 --> 01:02:10,000
[Margy gasps]

1332
01:02:10,200 --> 01:02:11,560
[Tom shushes]

1333
01:02:23,530 --> 01:02:24,530
[radio crackles]

1334
01:02:25,360 --> 01:02:26,890
[pirate 2] I think they're
in the manager's house.

1335
01:02:27,090 --> 01:02:28,620
[all gasp]

1336
01:02:35,330 --> 01:02:37,120
- [door creaks]
- [shushes]

1337
01:02:42,960 --> 01:02:43,960
[door closes]

1338
01:02:48,760 --> 01:02:50,760
[footsteps overhead]

1339
01:02:54,220 --> 01:02:56,060
[indistinct radio chatter]

1340
01:02:58,940 --> 01:03:00,510
[whispering] I think they heard it.

1341
01:03:00,710 --> 01:03:01,760
[whispering] Why?

1342
01:03:01,960 --> 01:03:03,570
They stopped speaking English.

1343
01:03:05,320 --> 01:03:06,740
Here. Take it.

1344
01:03:08,320 --> 01:03:09,950
[Margy whispering] Don't. Tom.

1345
01:03:12,410 --> 01:03:14,270
We need to get out of here.
Where does this tunnel go?

1346
01:03:14,470 --> 01:03:17,480
It leads straight to the pool
where the rest of the pirates are.

1347
01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:19,170
Oh, that's not ideal.

1348
01:03:20,960 --> 01:03:22,290
[indistinct radio chatter]

1349
01:03:23,380 --> 01:03:24,760
What are they saying?

1350
01:03:25,340 --> 01:03:26,450
No clue.

1351
01:03:26,650 --> 01:03:30,010
I don't know what language that is,
but it ain't Filipino.

1352
01:03:30,760 --> 01:03:32,140
- No.
- No.

1353
01:03:36,600 --> 01:03:38,480
No one move. Stay right here.

1354
01:03:39,060 --> 01:03:40,190
Nobody move.

1355
01:03:41,360 --> 01:03:42,860
[Darcy] What are you doing?

1356
01:03:47,190 --> 01:03:49,200
[suspenseful music playing]

1357
01:03:52,700 --> 01:03:53,700
Okay.

1358
01:03:54,120 --> 01:03:56,790
They know someone's here,
but they don't know all of us are.

1359
01:03:58,960 --> 01:04:01,960
You stay here until it's over.

1360
01:04:03,290 --> 01:04:04,250
Tom!

1361
01:04:08,630 --> 01:04:10,700
Tom! They're gonna kill you.

1362
01:04:10,900 --> 01:04:12,470
- Don't do this.
- [Tom] I have to.

1363
01:04:13,140 --> 01:04:15,390
This isn't about us anymore. This is...

1364
01:04:16,060 --> 01:04:19,060
[sighs] This whole thing is my fault.

1365
01:04:22,270 --> 01:04:24,060
You deserve better.

1366
01:04:24,860 --> 01:04:25,860
Wait, Tom!

1367
01:04:26,610 --> 01:04:27,780
[grunts]

1368
01:04:37,240 --> 01:04:38,310
[groans]

1369
01:04:38,510 --> 01:04:39,810
Uh... Oh, hey.

1370
01:04:40,010 --> 01:04:41,190
Hey, pirates!

1371
01:04:41,390 --> 01:04:43,650
I'm Tom, the groom you guys
have been looking for,

1372
01:04:43,850 --> 01:04:44,740
and I am officially surrendering.

1373
01:04:44,930 --> 01:04:45,820
- [pirate 2] Shut up!
- [Tom] All right.

1374
01:04:46,020 --> 01:04:47,240
What, you don't like
to be called "pirates"?

1375
01:04:47,440 --> 01:04:50,450
I wanted to be a pirate when I was a kid,
and you guys are actually doin' it.

1376
01:04:50,650 --> 01:04:51,950
- [pirate 2] Move.
- [Tom] You're livin' the dream.

1377
01:04:52,150 --> 01:04:53,050
Congratulations.

1378
01:04:53,510 --> 01:04:56,330
They didn't kill him. Oh, my God.

1379
01:04:56,530 --> 01:04:57,680
He's still alive.

1380
01:04:59,770 --> 01:05:00,770
[pirate 2] Go!

1381
01:05:01,520 --> 01:05:03,730
Keep going. Just move.

1382
01:05:05,900 --> 01:05:08,260
[Carol] Tommy. Oh, my God.
It's Tommy. Tommy!

1383
01:05:08,460 --> 01:05:10,090
- [all clamoring]
- Shut up!

1384
01:05:10,290 --> 01:05:11,720
- Tommy, where is Darcy?
- Shut up!

1385
01:05:11,920 --> 01:05:14,680
[pirate leader] Yes. Where is your bride?

1386
01:05:14,880 --> 01:05:16,490
- I... I don't know.
- [stapler clicks]

1387
01:05:17,660 --> 01:05:19,690
Truly. Honestly. I... I... I don't.

1388
01:05:19,890 --> 01:05:22,290
For reals. I don't...
I don't... I don't know.

1389
01:05:23,330 --> 01:05:24,730
You're a bad liar.

1390
01:05:24,930 --> 01:05:26,360
Yeah, he is a bad liar.

1391
01:05:26,560 --> 01:05:29,360
Tom, if you know something,
the best thing you can do is cooperate.

1392
01:05:29,560 --> 01:05:31,090
All they want is the money.

1393
01:05:32,130 --> 01:05:35,540
You know what? Thank you, Sean,
as always, for being the voice of reason.

1394
01:05:35,740 --> 01:05:36,620
Enough!

1395
01:05:36,820 --> 01:05:37,960
- [guns cock]
- [guests gasp]

1396
01:05:38,150 --> 01:05:40,270
- Okay, fine!
- [Larry] Okay.

1397
01:05:41,220 --> 01:05:42,640
I'll tell you where she is.

1398
01:05:43,850 --> 01:05:45,850
[tense music playing]

1399
01:05:48,360 --> 01:05:49,630
[whispers] <i>Katuk kak ci.</i>

1400
01:05:49,830 --> 01:05:50,680
- [pirate leader] What?
- [grunts]

1401
01:05:50,880 --> 01:05:52,050
[guests exclaim]

1402
01:05:52,250 --> 01:05:53,600
Holy shit. What did you say to him?

1403
01:05:53,800 --> 01:05:55,100
[Tom] It's kind of an inside joke, Sean.

1404
01:05:55,300 --> 01:05:56,600
Can you give me a hand?
I'm a little woozy.

1405
01:05:56,800 --> 01:05:58,390
[Sean] 'Course, man. Here, I got you.

1406
01:05:58,590 --> 01:06:00,890
- Whoa, whoa! Whoa!
- [all screaming]

1407
01:06:01,090 --> 01:06:03,230
- [gun cocks]
- What the hell are you doing?

1408
01:06:03,430 --> 01:06:05,270
Don't move or I swear to God,
you'll lose an eye.

1409
01:06:05,470 --> 01:06:06,530
Tommy, what are you doing?

1410
01:06:06,730 --> 01:06:08,190
Are you gonna spill the beans or should I?

1411
01:06:08,390 --> 01:06:09,280
What beans?

1412
01:06:09,480 --> 01:06:10,820
[crying] Just spill the beans.

1413
01:06:11,020 --> 01:06:12,490
Sean hired these guys

1414
01:06:12,690 --> 01:06:15,090
to invade our wedding
to take Robert's money!

1415
01:06:15,720 --> 01:06:17,200
[Sean] Whoa. No, no, no, no, Tom.

1416
01:06:17,400 --> 01:06:18,370
No, it's true.

1417
01:06:18,570 --> 01:06:20,910
[Sean] That is a serious accusation,

1418
01:06:21,110 --> 01:06:22,370
but it's okay,

1419
01:06:22,570 --> 01:06:24,670
'cause jealousy can get
the best of any of us.

1420
01:06:24,870 --> 01:06:26,250
Oh, no, no, no. I'm not jealous.

1421
01:06:26,450 --> 01:06:27,670
- [guests murmur]
- [Renata] Kind of.

1422
01:06:27,870 --> 01:06:30,510
It is completely normal
for you to see me as a threat

1423
01:06:30,710 --> 01:06:31,930
because Deedee and I

1424
01:06:32,130 --> 01:06:33,800
- had something transcendent.
- [scoffs]

1425
01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:36,060
But I am not a bad guy.

1426
01:06:36,250 --> 01:06:38,270
And I definitely don't have
anything to do with these pirates.

1427
01:06:38,470 --> 01:06:42,310
Oh, yeah? Then why did he deck me
when I told him to go fuck his grandpa?

1428
01:06:42,510 --> 01:06:44,400
Just listen. Listen to yourself.

1429
01:06:44,600 --> 01:06:46,650
I said it in Balinese.
These guys are not local.

1430
01:06:46,850 --> 01:06:48,030
They're from Bali.

1431
01:06:48,220 --> 01:06:51,110
Margy said the local pirates
just looted and left last time.

1432
01:06:51,310 --> 01:06:52,700
It took 'em, like, 20 minutes.

1433
01:06:52,900 --> 01:06:54,200
Oh, God. "Last time"?

1434
01:06:54,400 --> 01:06:56,200
We were clearly targeted.
This whole thing was planned.

1435
01:06:56,400 --> 01:06:59,080
They knew about Robert's money.

1436
01:06:59,280 --> 01:07:02,500
And none of it made sense
until I found this.

1437
01:07:02,700 --> 01:07:04,270
[Sean grunting]

1438
01:07:06,100 --> 01:07:07,630
Ricky, grab my... Grab the... the...

1439
01:07:07,830 --> 01:07:09,210
- [Ricky] Yeah, yeah.
- In my front pocket. Grab...

1440
01:07:09,410 --> 01:07:10,420
There's an envelope in my front pocket.

1441
01:07:10,620 --> 01:07:12,650
- [all exclaiming]
- Just grab it!

1442
01:07:13,110 --> 01:07:14,090
There you go.

1443
01:07:14,290 --> 01:07:15,690
A-ha!

1444
01:07:16,110 --> 01:07:17,300
[pirate leader] Slow, slow. Go slow.

1445
01:07:17,500 --> 01:07:18,700
[Tom laughs]

1446
01:07:19,160 --> 01:07:20,310
Your wedding invitation?

1447
01:07:20,510 --> 01:07:22,940
[Tom] Yes, but I got it off
of one of these guys.

1448
01:07:23,130 --> 01:07:25,400
Now, how did they get that invitation?

1449
01:07:25,600 --> 01:07:27,060
- [Carol] I don't know.
- [Larry] Uh...

1450
01:07:27,260 --> 01:07:29,580
It had to be given to him
by an invited guest.

1451
01:07:30,500 --> 01:07:33,420
Now, what invited guest
could that be? Huh?

1452
01:07:36,010 --> 01:07:37,420
Ricky, op... open it.

1453
01:07:39,220 --> 01:07:40,680
A-ha!

1454
01:07:42,140 --> 01:07:46,540
This asshat thought it was appropriate
to show up to a wedding he didn't RSVP to!

1455
01:07:46,740 --> 01:07:48,710
He didn't RSVP!

1456
01:07:48,910 --> 01:07:50,710
Mom, that's not the main issue right now.

1457
01:07:50,910 --> 01:07:54,300
Look, I'm a mother. I can be upset
about a lot of things at the same time.

1458
01:07:54,500 --> 01:07:55,980
I think, right now, we should be upset
about one thing.

1459
01:07:56,570 --> 01:07:59,100
- Oh, okay.
- [Tom] Sean had these guys

1460
01:07:59,300 --> 01:08:01,600
crash our wedding
so that he could get a big fat ransom

1461
01:08:01,800 --> 01:08:03,180
from his best friend, Robert.

1462
01:08:03,380 --> 01:08:04,910
[guests exclaiming]

1463
01:08:06,500 --> 01:08:08,060
Huh? Yeah!

1464
01:08:08,260 --> 01:08:10,150
- [Sean] Bob... Bob.
- [Tom] Yes!

1465
01:08:10,350 --> 01:08:11,650
This is because I didn't give you

1466
01:08:11,850 --> 01:08:13,490
that investment money
you wanted, isn't it?

1467
01:08:13,690 --> 01:08:14,990
- Yeah.
- No, no, it's not like that.

1468
01:08:15,190 --> 01:08:16,740
- [exclaims in Spanish]
- How could... <i>Papi.</i>

1469
01:08:16,940 --> 01:08:19,490
How could you believe
that I would come here and betray ev...

1470
01:08:19,690 --> 01:08:20,840
[Tom] Believe it, Robert. Believe it.

1471
01:08:21,970 --> 01:08:23,930
- That's right. That's right.
- Shit.

1472
01:08:24,300 --> 01:08:25,810
- [grunts]
- [all gasp]

1473
01:08:30,770 --> 01:08:31,840
[guests clamoring]

1474
01:08:32,040 --> 01:08:35,650
See? See, I told ya! I told ya!

1475
01:08:36,860 --> 01:08:41,530
[Margy] These lanterns are so intricate.
Is there a note in it?

1476
01:08:46,410 --> 01:08:48,730
"Be excellent to each other."

1477
01:08:48,930 --> 01:08:50,540
- [Ace] Hmm.
- [Margy] Hmm. Huh.

1478
01:08:53,790 --> 01:08:56,250
[wheezing cry]

1479
01:08:58,510 --> 01:09:01,510
It's from <i>Bill and Ted's</i>
<i>Excellent Adventure.</i>

1480
01:09:02,720 --> 01:09:06,290
Tom wanted to put a movie quote
in each one of the lanterns, and I...

1481
01:09:06,490 --> 01:09:09,670
I thought it was stupid, but it's not.

1482
01:09:09,870 --> 01:09:11,960
It's sweet.

1483
01:09:12,160 --> 01:09:13,960
And I messed it all up.

1484
01:09:14,160 --> 01:09:16,090
I don't know how you guys do it.

1485
01:09:16,290 --> 01:09:19,280
You must have something
really special. [sniffles]

1486
01:09:19,730 --> 01:09:22,260
- Not really.
- Oi.

1487
01:09:22,460 --> 01:09:26,140
Uh, I mean, it is special
but it is not magic.

1488
01:09:26,340 --> 01:09:28,310
We just made a vow.

1489
01:09:28,510 --> 01:09:31,060
And we've messed things up
thousands of times.

1490
01:09:31,260 --> 01:09:35,170
But when we break something, we fix it.

1491
01:09:37,590 --> 01:09:39,340
[patting Margy]

1492
01:09:46,300 --> 01:09:48,310
[dramatic music playing]

1493
01:09:49,680 --> 01:09:53,060
[Margy] Darcy, we come with you,
but we don't want to.

1494
01:09:59,730 --> 01:10:01,680
Tommy finally made the big leagues.

1495
01:10:01,880 --> 01:10:04,030
Yeah, I never heard that one before.

1496
01:10:04,450 --> 01:10:06,110
I know you haven't.

1497
01:10:06,820 --> 01:10:09,270
- Where is she?
- I don't know.

1498
01:10:09,470 --> 01:10:10,850
I don't... I... I don't... I don't know.

1499
01:10:11,050 --> 01:10:13,730
- You're lying.
- No, I'm... I'm... Honestly,

1500
01:10:13,930 --> 01:10:15,420
- I don't know.
- Okay.

1501
01:10:16,540 --> 01:10:18,080
- [grunts]
- [guests exclaiming]

1502
01:10:19,040 --> 01:10:20,030
God damn it!

1503
01:10:20,230 --> 01:10:21,410
- Would you stop doing that?
- [Caro] Yeah.

1504
01:10:21,600 --> 01:10:24,370
- He'll do it again.
- [Tom] Fine. Fine.

1505
01:10:24,570 --> 01:10:25,530
I was lying.

1506
01:10:25,730 --> 01:10:27,410
[guests agreeing]

1507
01:10:27,610 --> 01:10:30,620
After we cut ourselves loose,
Darcy and I got into a fight.

1508
01:10:30,820 --> 01:10:33,130
She hopped in a golf cart
to go look for cell reception

1509
01:10:33,320 --> 01:10:35,880
up by the northern coast
near the cliffs, and then I...

1510
01:10:36,080 --> 01:10:38,100
I came back here
to try to rescue everyone.

1511
01:10:38,650 --> 01:10:39,810
[Ricky] Come on!

1512
01:10:43,990 --> 01:10:45,140
Okay.

1513
01:10:45,340 --> 01:10:46,320
[sighs]

1514
01:10:46,820 --> 01:10:48,220
[pirate leader]
We'll take the chopper to find her.

1515
01:10:48,420 --> 01:10:49,730
I'm comin' with you.

1516
01:10:49,920 --> 01:10:51,850
I've been watching you
mess this up all day.

1517
01:10:52,050 --> 01:10:53,600
This is my show now.

1518
01:10:53,800 --> 01:10:55,060
[mouthing] Wow, that's really good.

1519
01:10:55,260 --> 01:10:56,960
We're doing this my way now. You got it?

1520
01:10:57,870 --> 01:10:58,960
We need collateral.

1521
01:11:00,750 --> 01:11:02,840
[unsettling music playing]

1522
01:11:09,510 --> 01:11:10,450
Get the girlfriend.

1523
01:11:10,650 --> 01:11:12,830
- [all clamoring]
- [pirate 1] Hey. Come.

1524
01:11:13,030 --> 01:11:14,880
- Here. Move!
- Ow! Hey.

1525
01:11:15,070 --> 01:11:16,500
Oh, no.

1526
01:11:16,700 --> 01:11:18,630
- [pirate 1] Go. Move!
- Please, I'm a Gemini.

1527
01:11:18,830 --> 01:11:20,480
I bruise easily.

1528
01:11:21,440 --> 01:11:22,720
- [pirate 1] Go!
- [Harriett] Ow! Ow! Ow!

1529
01:11:22,920 --> 01:11:24,650
- Oh, my God!
- [Sean] Robert? Robert!

1530
01:11:25,360 --> 01:11:27,550
When I get back,
that money better be in my account.

1531
01:11:27,750 --> 01:11:29,310
And if it's not, she's dead.

1532
01:11:29,510 --> 01:11:31,370
And I treated you just like a son.

1533
01:11:32,030 --> 01:11:33,890
- You're stuck with Tommy now.
- Robert.

1534
01:11:34,090 --> 01:11:36,190
- Well, what's wrong with that?
- Fuck off.

1535
01:11:36,390 --> 01:11:39,000
- [dramatic music playing]
- [imperceptible]

1536
01:11:46,050 --> 01:11:47,340
[soft thud]

1537
01:11:49,340 --> 01:11:50,550
[thud]

1538
01:11:52,930 --> 01:11:54,260
[pirates chattering]

1539
01:11:54,680 --> 01:11:56,890
[indistinct chatter]

1540
01:11:58,480 --> 01:12:00,400
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

1541
01:12:01,770 --> 01:12:03,610
- [cocks gun]
- [all exclaiming]

1542
01:12:04,440 --> 01:12:05,430
Darcy...

1543
01:12:05,630 --> 01:12:10,310
Tom, you promised you wouldn't
leave my side this weekend.

1544
01:12:10,510 --> 01:12:11,870
Darcy, what are you doing?

1545
01:12:12,280 --> 01:12:13,450
Tom, listen.

1546
01:12:13,950 --> 01:12:16,480
I'm still mad at you
for picking this pirate island,

1547
01:12:16,680 --> 01:12:19,210
but I messed up too.
I should've told you...

1548
01:12:20,500 --> 01:12:22,420
how scared I was to get married.

1549
01:12:23,170 --> 01:12:24,440
That wasn't fair.

1550
01:12:24,640 --> 01:12:26,360
You worked so hard
on this pirate island wedding.

1551
01:12:26,560 --> 01:12:28,450
Okay, no, no, no.
Please stop calling it that.

1552
01:12:28,650 --> 01:12:30,880
I just worried that if I told you...

1553
01:12:33,510 --> 01:12:34,930
that I would lose you.

1554
01:12:38,480 --> 01:12:40,600
And I can't lose you.

1555
01:12:43,190 --> 01:12:44,440
I need you.

1556
01:12:48,530 --> 01:12:49,740
Okay?

1557
01:12:53,410 --> 01:12:54,350
[shouts] Okay?

1558
01:12:54,550 --> 01:12:55,350
- [all clamor]
- Okay.

1559
01:12:55,550 --> 01:12:57,020
- Okay.
- [Tom] Okay.

1560
01:12:57,220 --> 01:12:59,150
This is so much better than <i>South Pacific.</i>

1561
01:12:59,350 --> 01:13:00,750
And Mom, Dad?

1562
01:13:01,290 --> 01:13:03,110
- [all exclaiming]
- [Jamie screams]

1563
01:13:03,310 --> 01:13:04,190
Whoa!

1564
01:13:04,390 --> 01:13:05,320
- [Ricky] Babe.
- What the fuck?

1565
01:13:05,520 --> 01:13:06,420
Did you just shoot me?

1566
01:13:06,800 --> 01:13:08,610
Stop shooting your sister!

1567
01:13:08,810 --> 01:13:11,090
I didn't mean to. It was a mistake. I...

1568
01:13:11,880 --> 01:13:13,380
[all gasp]

1569
01:13:14,640 --> 01:13:16,330
Mom, Dad, apologize to Tom.

1570
01:13:16,530 --> 01:13:17,960
- What? Why?
- What?

1571
01:13:18,160 --> 01:13:20,580
For criticizing this beautiful wedding
that he planned,

1572
01:13:20,780 --> 01:13:23,590
and for never making him
feel welcome in our family.

1573
01:13:23,790 --> 01:13:25,670
And for inviting Sean to our wedding.

1574
01:13:25,870 --> 01:13:27,550
Okay, honey, but I think there's

1575
01:13:27,750 --> 01:13:29,220
- a more pressing issue...
- Apologize!

1576
01:13:29,420 --> 01:13:31,340
- [all exclaiming]
- He is the best person

1577
01:13:31,540 --> 01:13:32,430
that I know.

1578
01:13:32,630 --> 01:13:34,510
And if you say one more bad thing
about him,

1579
01:13:34,710 --> 01:13:36,990
I swear I will shoot you
like I shot Jamie.

1580
01:13:38,700 --> 01:13:39,640
Tom, I'm sorry. Sorry.

1581
01:13:39,840 --> 01:13:40,940
- Tom, sorry. Sorry.
- We love you.

1582
01:13:41,140 --> 01:13:42,110
- Oh, hey, it's fine.
- You're the best person

1583
01:13:42,310 --> 01:13:43,440
- I've ever met.
- [Tom] It's okay. I love you.

1584
01:13:43,640 --> 01:13:44,780
- We love you like family.
- I love you, too.

1585
01:13:44,970 --> 01:13:46,690
- All right. It's all good.
- I love this place. Beautiful.

1586
01:13:46,890 --> 01:13:48,030
And, Carol, Larry...

1587
01:13:48,230 --> 01:13:49,400
- [all gasp]
- I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

1588
01:13:49,600 --> 01:13:53,330
This was more about me and my family,
but we should get lunch sometime.

1589
01:13:53,520 --> 01:13:54,410
- I would...
- Oh, yeah,

1590
01:13:54,610 --> 01:13:55,910
- lunch sounds great. Yeah.
- We love eating.

1591
01:13:56,110 --> 01:13:58,210
It's hard for anyone to live up
to your perfect marriage.

1592
01:13:58,400 --> 01:14:00,370
[chuckles] Who told you
we had a perfect marriage?

1593
01:14:00,570 --> 01:14:02,710
Oh, come on, Mom.
You guys fought, like, once.

1594
01:14:02,910 --> 01:14:04,090
It was about who loved the dog more.

1595
01:14:04,290 --> 01:14:06,350
I mean, what is not perfect
about your marriage?

1596
01:14:06,980 --> 01:14:09,930
Well, I made love to your Aunt Marie.

1597
01:14:10,120 --> 01:14:11,260
- [all exclaiming]
- [Ricky] What?

1598
01:14:11,460 --> 01:14:12,800
- [Larry] Yeah.
- [Carol] Then I went out

1599
01:14:13,000 --> 01:14:14,550
and started doing all this weird sex stuff

1600
01:14:14,750 --> 01:14:15,810
with Jim Roberts.

1601
01:14:16,010 --> 01:14:17,140
[Larry] Yeah. You and Jim Roberts

1602
01:14:17,340 --> 01:14:19,020
- went on for a couple months.
- [Carol] Yes.

1603
01:14:19,220 --> 01:14:21,650
- Because our bodies just fit.
- [man] Holy...

1604
01:14:21,840 --> 01:14:24,400
[Carol] In the end,
Jim Roberts just wasn't your dad.

1605
01:14:24,600 --> 01:14:26,790
And Aunt Marie realized
that she had a sex addiction.

1606
01:14:27,460 --> 01:14:30,210
But then you know what? We worked it out.

1607
01:14:33,170 --> 01:14:34,870
These are some incredible breakthroughs,

1608
01:14:35,070 --> 01:14:36,280
- right? I mean...
- [pirate 2] Give me that!

1609
01:14:36,480 --> 01:14:37,370
[all screaming]

1610
01:14:37,570 --> 01:14:38,750
You remember me, huh?

1611
01:14:38,950 --> 01:14:40,790
Look, you burn my face. Huh?

1612
01:14:40,990 --> 01:14:42,470
Yes, I know. I still feel
really bad about that.

1613
01:14:46,020 --> 01:14:47,920
Everybody, in the pool! Now!

1614
01:14:48,120 --> 01:14:50,220
- [fires gun]
- [all screaming]

1615
01:14:50,410 --> 01:14:52,110
Get in the pool! In!

1616
01:14:52,940 --> 01:14:54,400
Go! Go!

1617
01:14:54,940 --> 01:14:56,610
[Tom panting]

1618
01:14:57,570 --> 01:14:59,140
- Hey, you okay?
- Yes.

1619
01:14:59,340 --> 01:15:00,950
- Yeah?
- Are we missing people?

1620
01:15:01,450 --> 01:15:03,910
Yeah. Turns out
your boy Sean's an asshole.

1621
01:15:05,790 --> 01:15:06,770
We have the bride.

1622
01:15:06,970 --> 01:15:08,540
- [helicopter whirring]
- [on radio] <i>Do you copy?</i>

1623
01:15:09,880 --> 01:15:11,340
<i>Do you copy?</i>

1624
01:15:16,880 --> 01:15:18,240
Up! Up!

1625
01:15:18,440 --> 01:15:20,450
- [indistinct talking]
- Listen to me. Move.

1626
01:15:20,650 --> 01:15:23,420
Balinese? So these guys are Balinese?

1627
01:15:23,610 --> 01:15:26,330
And Sean is full of shit,
and they took Harriett hostage?

1628
01:15:26,530 --> 01:15:27,460
It doesn't make sense.

1629
01:15:27,660 --> 01:15:29,800
Why would Sean take Harriett hostage
on the helicopter

1630
01:15:30,000 --> 01:15:31,720
when she was already
being held hostage here?

1631
01:15:31,910 --> 01:15:34,340
I don't know. Maybe he wanted
to take her extra hostage.

1632
01:15:34,540 --> 01:15:36,360
[Larry] I think Harriett is in on it.

1633
01:15:36,820 --> 01:15:39,410
- [Tom] What?
- [Darcy] What do you mean?

1634
01:15:44,990 --> 01:15:46,910
Harriett and Sean...

1635
01:15:47,960 --> 01:15:49,190
are boyfriend-girlfriend.

1636
01:15:49,390 --> 01:15:50,730
- Oh, come on.
- Boyfriend-girlfriend?

1637
01:15:50,930 --> 01:15:52,250
[Larry] No, no. Look.

1638
01:15:52,920 --> 01:15:54,570
This is from last night.

1639
01:15:54,770 --> 01:15:56,570
Here we go. [grunts]

1640
01:15:56,770 --> 01:15:57,990
[Latin dance music playing]

1641
01:15:58,190 --> 01:15:59,700
Let's see.

1642
01:15:59,900 --> 01:16:02,680
Uh, hold on. Let me find it.

1643
01:16:03,680 --> 01:16:05,370
Oh. Oh, boy.

1644
01:16:05,570 --> 01:16:07,100
Yeah. There you go.

1645
01:16:08,270 --> 01:16:09,980
[all exclaim]

1646
01:16:15,690 --> 01:16:17,680
What? Go ahead. Say it.

1647
01:16:17,880 --> 01:16:18,900
Roberto...

1648
01:16:22,820 --> 01:16:24,530
<i>Lo siento.</i>

1649
01:16:27,040 --> 01:16:28,290
<i>Gracias.</i>

1650
01:16:29,580 --> 01:16:30,920
<i>De nada.</i>

1651
01:16:32,420 --> 01:16:34,740
[dramatic music playing]

1652
01:16:34,940 --> 01:16:36,050
[pirate leader] There!

1653
01:16:42,180 --> 01:16:45,410
Sean, you promised
this job would make us rich.

1654
01:16:45,610 --> 01:16:47,710
So far, all it's done
is killed four of my men.

1655
01:16:47,910 --> 01:16:49,210
Man, you know we can fix this.

1656
01:16:49,410 --> 01:16:51,880
Deal is off. I keep the money.

1657
01:16:52,080 --> 01:16:54,090
You walk away with your life.

1658
01:16:54,290 --> 01:16:56,720
I don't wanna hear it.
You and I had an arrangement.

1659
01:16:56,920 --> 01:16:59,180
Sean, be reasonable. He saved us.

1660
01:16:59,380 --> 01:17:01,140
- We're lucky to be alive.
- What are you talking about?

1661
01:17:01,340 --> 01:17:03,470
Listen to your woman.

1662
01:17:03,670 --> 01:17:04,980
- [yelps]
- Oh.

1663
01:17:05,170 --> 01:17:07,740
It's okay. It's just a pressure point.
Relax.

1664
01:17:08,290 --> 01:17:10,000
Just breathe into it.

1665
01:17:10,750 --> 01:17:11,870
What?

1666
01:17:13,500 --> 01:17:14,580
What?

1667
01:17:15,080 --> 01:17:16,440
Take us back down.

1668
01:17:16,640 --> 01:17:18,740
We'll finish the job ourselves.

1669
01:17:18,940 --> 01:17:20,420
- Babe.
- What?

1670
01:17:21,630 --> 01:17:23,830
- Excellent idea.
- Yeah, I know.

1671
01:17:24,030 --> 01:17:26,510
[screams] I have to do everything myself!

1672
01:17:29,310 --> 01:17:31,460
What are we gonna do?
They'll be back any minute.

1673
01:17:31,660 --> 01:17:33,520
- Just...
- [pirate 2] Hey, hey, hey!

1674
01:17:34,190 --> 01:17:36,860
No whispers.
Or I throw grenade in the pool.

1675
01:17:42,950 --> 01:17:43,950
[whispering] Okay.

1676
01:17:44,660 --> 01:17:46,930
Go with me, okay?

1677
01:17:47,130 --> 01:17:48,280
Just go with me.

1678
01:17:48,990 --> 01:17:50,330
[in normal tone] Hey, everybody.

1679
01:17:51,540 --> 01:17:53,620
Look, I know this may
not be the best time,

1680
01:17:54,830 --> 01:17:57,210
but this may be our only chance
to have our wedding.

1681
01:17:59,000 --> 01:18:00,210
What do you say, Darcy?

1682
01:18:01,420 --> 01:18:02,870
Yeah, I... I love it.

1683
01:18:03,070 --> 01:18:06,470
Can... Can we do bride's side on the left
and groom's on the right?

1684
01:18:10,100 --> 01:18:11,420
[all agreeing]

1685
01:18:11,620 --> 01:18:13,060
Hey, Margy, will you officiate?

1686
01:18:14,020 --> 01:18:16,250
[pirate 2] Hey, will you stop?
Stop it! Stop it now!

1687
01:18:16,450 --> 01:18:17,710
[Robert] Wait, wait. If...

1688
01:18:17,910 --> 01:18:21,190
If you let my daughter have her wedding,
I'll... I'll release the funds.

1689
01:18:28,200 --> 01:18:29,580
Okay, let's go.

1690
01:18:36,790 --> 01:18:38,040
Let's go.

1691
01:18:38,840 --> 01:18:40,040
Thanks, Dad.

1692
01:18:40,550 --> 01:18:41,650
It's okay, princess.

1693
01:18:41,850 --> 01:18:43,590
There are some things
that are more important than money.

1694
01:18:44,720 --> 01:18:46,970
I don't know what they are,
but I think, uh...

1695
01:18:58,980 --> 01:18:59,920
[Darcy sighs]

1696
01:19:00,120 --> 01:19:01,650
Hope you know what you're doing.

1697
01:19:07,860 --> 01:19:09,990
[Carol hums]

1698
01:19:15,120 --> 01:19:17,610
♪ <i>The strands in your eyes ♪</i>

1699
01:19:17,810 --> 01:19:20,530
♪ <i>They color them wonderful ♪</i>

1700
01:19:20,730 --> 01:19:24,880
♪ <i>Stops me</i>
<i>And steals my breath ♪</i>

1701
01:19:25,550 --> 01:19:27,970
[both]
♪ <i>Emeralds from mountains</i> ♪

1702
01:19:28,220 --> 01:19:30,580
♪ <i>Thrust from the sky ♪</i>

1703
01:19:30,780 --> 01:19:34,720
♪ <i>Never revealing their depth ♪</i>

1704
01:19:35,310 --> 01:19:37,140
♪ <i>And tell me ♪</i>

1705
01:19:37,640 --> 01:19:40,420
♪ <i>We belong together ♪</i>

1706
01:19:40,620 --> 01:19:44,930
♪ <i>Dress it up with the trappings of love ♪</i>

1707
01:19:45,130 --> 01:19:47,510
♪ <i>I'll be captivated ♪</i>

1708
01:19:47,710 --> 01:19:50,220
♪ <i>I'll hang from your lips ♪</i>

1709
01:19:50,420 --> 01:19:52,520
♪ <i>Instead of the gallows ♪</i>

1710
01:19:52,720 --> 01:19:58,020
♪ <i>Of heartaches</i>
<i>That hang from above ♪</i>

1711
01:19:58,220 --> 01:20:03,610
♪ <i>And I'll be your cryin' shoulder ♪</i>

1712
01:20:03,810 --> 01:20:08,160
♪ <i>I'll be love's suicide ♪</i>

1713
01:20:08,360 --> 01:20:14,000
♪ <i>And I'll be better</i>
<i>When I'm older ♪</i>

1714
01:20:14,200 --> 01:20:18,960
♪ <i>I'll be the greatest fan of your life ♪</i>

1715
01:20:19,160 --> 01:20:24,170
♪ <i>And I'll be your cryin' shoulder ♪</i>

1716
01:20:24,370 --> 01:20:28,970
♪ <i>I'll be love's suicide ♪</i>

1717
01:20:29,170 --> 01:20:31,890
<i>- ♪ And I'll be ♪</i>
- [Renata] <i>♪ I'll be ♪</i>

1718
01:20:32,090 --> 01:20:34,430
♪ <i>Better when I'm older ♪</i>

1719
01:20:34,630 --> 01:20:39,900
♪ <i>I'll be the greatest fan of your life ♪</i>

1720
01:20:40,100 --> 01:20:41,110
♪ <i>I'll be ♪</i>

1721
01:20:41,310 --> 01:20:42,880
[clamoring]

1722
01:20:43,420 --> 01:20:45,090
[Carol screaming]

1723
01:20:45,840 --> 01:20:48,030
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- [cocks gun]

1724
01:20:48,230 --> 01:20:49,630
I think you'd regret that.

1725
01:20:51,430 --> 01:20:53,010
[all gasp]

1726
01:20:53,970 --> 01:20:55,540
[pirate 2] Oh! No, no. Stop.

1727
01:20:55,740 --> 01:20:56,710
I'm fairly new to grenades.

1728
01:20:56,910 --> 01:21:00,670
But I'm pretty sure that if you shoot me,
this springy thing pops off,

1729
01:21:00,870 --> 01:21:02,630
and then this thing blows us all away.

1730
01:21:02,830 --> 01:21:03,960
- Ain't that right, babe?
- That's right, baby.

1731
01:21:04,160 --> 01:21:06,230
- [pirate 2] No, no, no.
- [woman] What the...

1732
01:21:06,730 --> 01:21:07,820
Drop the guns.

1733
01:21:10,320 --> 01:21:11,760
- [pirate 2] No.
- [grunts]

1734
01:21:11,960 --> 01:21:14,030
[all screaming and clamoring]

1735
01:21:22,790 --> 01:21:23,860
[muffled screaming]

1736
01:21:24,060 --> 01:21:25,460
I can't throw that far.
It won't reach him.

1737
01:21:27,380 --> 01:21:28,400
[cocks gun]

1738
01:21:28,600 --> 01:21:30,570
Nobody fucks with my family.

1739
01:21:30,770 --> 01:21:33,090
[rock music playing]

1740
01:21:43,310 --> 01:21:45,400
Darcy? Give me a meatball.

1741
01:21:45,690 --> 01:21:46,860
- [gun clicks]
- Shit.

1742
01:21:50,030 --> 01:21:51,650
[all exclaim]

1743
01:21:53,570 --> 01:21:55,470
[all exclaiming]

1744
01:21:55,670 --> 01:21:57,660
[fireworks whistling]

1745
01:22:02,910 --> 01:22:04,190
I know where to go!

1746
01:22:04,390 --> 01:22:06,150
Let's get moving! Out of the pool!

1747
01:22:06,350 --> 01:22:07,530
- [Tom] Yeah!
- Come on! Come, come, come!

1748
01:22:07,730 --> 01:22:09,050
[Darcy] Get out of the pool! Come on!

1749
01:22:11,590 --> 01:22:13,950
- [Tom] Yeah, let's go.
- [Ace] Margy! The spa!

1750
01:22:14,150 --> 01:22:15,490
[Darcy] It's safe in the spa!

1751
01:22:15,690 --> 01:22:17,790
[Harriett] They should've been
killing hostages every hour.

1752
01:22:17,990 --> 01:22:20,290
Killing people works, Sean.

1753
01:22:20,490 --> 01:22:21,920
- Fuck.
- Look, give me one chance

1754
01:22:22,120 --> 01:22:23,000
to convince Darcy.

1755
01:22:23,200 --> 01:22:25,560
- All right? One.
- Fine. One chance.

1756
01:22:27,310 --> 01:22:28,860
Thank you, baby.

1757
01:22:29,860 --> 01:22:32,070
This is not a moment right now, Sean.

1758
01:22:34,030 --> 01:22:36,160
- Move, come on! Come on!
- [pirate] All right!

1759
01:22:37,370 --> 01:22:40,230
Mom! Mom, we're gonna go get help.

1760
01:22:40,430 --> 01:22:42,370
I need you to take care of them.
Can you do that?

1761
01:22:45,120 --> 01:22:46,460
And Carol...

1762
01:22:47,710 --> 01:22:49,420
thank you for the cake knife.

1763
01:22:50,710 --> 01:22:52,450
I fucking love this cake knife.

1764
01:22:52,650 --> 01:22:54,300
[Carol chuckles]

1765
01:22:59,260 --> 01:23:01,720
["No ordinary" by Labrinth playing]

1766
01:23:04,180 --> 01:23:06,520
It's just you and me now. Let's go.

1767
01:23:07,980 --> 01:23:09,230
<i>♪ Yeah ♪</i>

1768
01:23:10,730 --> 01:23:17,700
<i>♪ Yeah, me in awe of you now ♪</i>

1769
01:23:19,320 --> 01:23:20,660
<i>♪ Hmm ♪</i>

1770
01:23:22,080 --> 01:23:24,900
<i>- ♪ This song call ♪</i>
<i>- ♪ Unconditional ♪</i>

1771
01:23:25,100 --> 01:23:28,480
<i>- ♪ This show no devotion ♪</i>
<i>- ♪ Devotion ♪</i>

1772
01:23:28,680 --> 01:23:31,400
<i>♪ Got my heart so wide open ♪</i>

1773
01:23:31,600 --> 01:23:33,240
<i>♪ Lifting my spirit</i>
<i>Like a Holy Ghost ♪</i>

1774
01:23:33,440 --> 01:23:36,120
<i>- ♪ All this ♪</i>
<i>- ♪ All this love, love ♪</i>

1775
01:23:36,320 --> 01:23:40,180
<i>- ♪ No ordinary love ♪</i>
<i>- ♪ Ordinary love ♪</i>

1776
01:23:41,800 --> 01:23:43,390
<i>♪ Yeah ♪</i>

1777
01:23:45,390 --> 01:23:46,750
<i>♪ La, la, la, la</i>
<i>La-la-la-la ♪</i>

1778
01:23:46,950 --> 01:23:47,960
[phone camera clicks]

1779
01:23:48,160 --> 01:23:50,840
<i>♪ Ah, la, la, la, la</i>
<i>La-la-la-la ♪</i>

1780
01:23:51,040 --> 01:23:52,970
<i>♪ La, la, la, la</i>
<i>La-la-la-la ♪</i>

1781
01:23:53,170 --> 01:23:56,430
<i>♪ La, la, la, la</i>
<i>La-la-la-la-love ♪</i>

1782
01:23:56,630 --> 01:23:58,930
<i>♪ La-la, la-la, la-la, la-la ♪</i>

1783
01:23:59,130 --> 01:24:02,030
<i>♪ La, la, la, la</i>
<i>La-la-la-la ♪</i>

1784
01:24:03,330 --> 01:24:05,290
[imperceptible]

1785
01:24:17,420 --> 01:24:20,300
<i>♪ I need you in my arm ♪</i>

1786
01:24:20,630 --> 01:24:22,050
<i>♪ Yeah, yeah ♪</i>

1787
01:24:24,140 --> 01:24:25,260
<i>♪ Hey ♪</i>

1788
01:24:30,020 --> 01:24:36,630
<i>♪ All this no ordinary love ♪</i>

1789
01:24:36,830 --> 01:24:38,390
<i>♪ Love, love, love, love ♪</i>

1790
01:24:38,590 --> 01:24:39,780
<i>♪ Yeah ♪</i>

1791
01:24:43,160 --> 01:24:44,950
[Tom] Hey, wasn't this
the plan with too many steps?

1792
01:24:54,920 --> 01:24:56,250
You did this for me?

1793
01:24:57,760 --> 01:24:59,030
[Tom] Is this what you wanted?

1794
01:24:59,230 --> 01:25:00,760
Just you and me
in the middle of the ocean?

1795
01:25:03,590 --> 01:25:06,000
Darcy, I'm sorry
I stopped listening to you.

1796
01:25:06,200 --> 01:25:08,210
I just thought that
if I planned the perfect wedding,

1797
01:25:08,410 --> 01:25:10,270
we could have the perfect marriage, but...

1798
01:25:11,060 --> 01:25:12,440
But that doesn't exist.

1799
01:25:13,060 --> 01:25:14,670
I mean, look at my parents.

1800
01:25:14,870 --> 01:25:16,980
My Aunt Marie, the sex addict.

1801
01:25:18,360 --> 01:25:21,610
I just wanna be with you.
All that matters is you.

1802
01:25:22,360 --> 01:25:23,780
We don't ever have to get married.

1803
01:25:25,490 --> 01:25:27,410
And if we survive this thing,
can we just...

1804
01:25:28,950 --> 01:25:30,200
Can we start over?

1805
01:25:32,500 --> 01:25:33,870
- [gunshots]
- [Darcy screams]

1806
01:25:36,170 --> 01:25:37,500
[Tom] Go, go, go, go.

1807
01:25:37,920 --> 01:25:39,760
[Sean] Deedee, listen to me!

1808
01:25:40,420 --> 01:25:43,200
Deedee, this is
a huge misunderstanding, all right?

1809
01:25:43,400 --> 01:25:47,710
Let's go back to the resort,
talk this over. I do not want to hurt you.

1810
01:25:47,910 --> 01:25:49,330
Then stop shooting at us, asshole!

1811
01:25:49,530 --> 01:25:51,330
And stop calling her Deedee!

1812
01:25:51,530 --> 01:25:53,060
- [Darcy] Fuck!
- Oh, Jesus!

1813
01:25:54,270 --> 01:25:55,730
This thing is awful!

1814
01:25:56,360 --> 01:25:57,900
[screaming] Yeah!

1815
01:25:58,230 --> 01:26:00,900
Asshole! Fuckin' leave! What the fuck?

1816
01:26:02,490 --> 01:26:05,530
God, I can't believe you, Sean!
When did you turn into such a monster?

1817
01:26:06,160 --> 01:26:07,560
[Sean] I am not a monster!

1818
01:26:07,760 --> 01:26:09,020
I'm an entrepreneur!

1819
01:26:09,220 --> 01:26:10,560
I think I'm out of ammo.

1820
01:26:10,760 --> 01:26:12,080
- Are you sure?
- Not at all.

1821
01:26:12,540 --> 01:26:13,620
Hey.

1822
01:26:18,750 --> 01:26:19,820
- Yeah.
- [Sean] I don't wanna do this.

1823
01:26:20,020 --> 01:26:21,240
- [gunshot]
- I'm a good guy, damn it!

1824
01:26:21,440 --> 01:26:22,820
[gunshots]

1825
01:26:23,020 --> 01:26:24,380
- [gun clicking]
- Shit.

1826
01:26:24,970 --> 01:26:26,330
[Sean] Your boat's dead.

1827
01:26:26,530 --> 01:26:29,870
We're both out of ammo. Let's just go back
and we can work this whole thing out.

1828
01:26:30,070 --> 01:26:31,390
[breathing heavily]

1829
01:26:34,520 --> 01:26:35,500
[grunts]

1830
01:26:35,700 --> 01:26:37,350
[both grunting]

1831
01:26:37,940 --> 01:26:39,630
[engine starts]

1832
01:26:39,830 --> 01:26:40,930
[Darcy] Tom!

1833
01:26:41,120 --> 01:26:42,280
[Tom grunts]

1834
01:26:44,450 --> 01:26:45,530
[Tom] Go, go!

1835
01:26:47,070 --> 01:26:49,160
[tense music playing]

1836
01:26:52,490 --> 01:26:53,540
[Sean yells]

1837
01:26:56,420 --> 01:26:58,460
[helicopter whirring]

1838
01:26:59,630 --> 01:27:01,630
[intense music playing]

1839
01:27:21,520 --> 01:27:23,320
Darcy, turn this boat around right now.

1840
01:27:24,740 --> 01:27:25,740
[Darcy] No.

1841
01:27:28,450 --> 01:27:31,060
You're a piece of shit, Sean,
but I know you can't kill me.

1842
01:27:31,260 --> 01:27:32,200
You're right.

1843
01:27:32,740 --> 01:27:34,620
But I would love to kill this guy.

1844
01:27:35,120 --> 01:27:37,770
You just keep messing things up, man.
This is on you.

1845
01:27:37,970 --> 01:27:40,880
I don't wanna do this. I'm a good guy.

1846
01:27:41,960 --> 01:27:43,300
No, you're not.

1847
01:27:44,090 --> 01:27:46,170
All right, you're right. I'm not.

1848
01:27:46,670 --> 01:27:47,740
[Darcy shrieks]

1849
01:27:47,940 --> 01:27:49,050
[Tom gasps]

1850
01:27:49,510 --> 01:27:50,830
- [engine revs]
- [Sean screams]

1851
01:27:51,030 --> 01:27:53,060
[music continues]

1852
01:27:54,010 --> 01:27:55,560
[both grunting]

1853
01:27:58,060 --> 01:27:58,890
[whimpers]

1854
01:28:00,980 --> 01:28:02,150
Sean!

1855
01:28:04,980 --> 01:28:06,440
[grunting continues]

1856
01:28:08,280 --> 01:28:09,970
You were a pity invite!

1857
01:28:10,170 --> 01:28:11,390
- [Darcy grunts]
- Shit!

1858
01:28:11,590 --> 01:28:13,280
Whoa! Whoa!

1859
01:28:19,580 --> 01:28:21,320
No! Fuck!

1860
01:28:21,520 --> 01:28:22,820
[groans]

1861
01:28:23,020 --> 01:28:24,670
[Sean and Tom grunting]

1862
01:28:28,050 --> 01:28:29,090
[Tom screams]

1863
01:28:33,890 --> 01:28:34,930
[yelps]

1864
01:28:40,190 --> 01:28:41,190
- [gunshot]
- [yelps]

1865
01:28:46,730 --> 01:28:48,510
Is that a wad of loose hair?

1866
01:28:48,710 --> 01:28:50,100
[Tom] Custom-made hair!

1867
01:28:50,300 --> 01:28:51,760
[Tom grunts]

1868
01:28:51,960 --> 01:28:53,870
[heroic music playing]

1869
01:28:55,660 --> 01:28:56,910
[gasps]

1870
01:29:03,920 --> 01:29:05,000
[Tom laughs]

1871
01:29:06,300 --> 01:29:07,990
[intense music playing]

1872
01:29:08,190 --> 01:29:09,090
- Get down!
- [screams]

1873
01:29:14,220 --> 01:29:15,390
Oh, frick.

1874
01:29:15,970 --> 01:29:17,350
[Sean screams]

1875
01:29:23,850 --> 01:29:24,860
[Tom] Hold on.

1876
01:29:30,690 --> 01:29:32,530
Oh, shit.

1877
01:29:34,780 --> 01:29:35,990
[Darcy shrieks]

1878
01:29:36,780 --> 01:29:38,370
[engine whines]

1879
01:29:44,670 --> 01:29:45,880
[Darcy gasps]

1880
01:29:47,420 --> 01:29:48,800
Holy shit.

1881
01:29:54,340 --> 01:29:56,760
["No ordinary" by Labrinth playing]

1882
01:30:23,000 --> 01:30:24,710
So when I asked you before

1883
01:30:26,290 --> 01:30:27,500
if we could start over...

1884
01:30:30,340 --> 01:30:31,880
I don't wanna start over.

1885
01:30:43,230 --> 01:30:44,810
I wanna keep going.

1886
01:30:45,640 --> 01:30:47,650
[tender music playing]

1887
01:30:59,280 --> 01:31:00,740
Tom Fowler,

1888
01:31:01,790 --> 01:31:03,250
will you marry me?

1889
01:31:09,790 --> 01:31:11,000
Are you sure?

1890
01:31:12,920 --> 01:31:14,050
You're not scared?

1891
01:31:16,010 --> 01:31:17,890
I'm terrified. [breath trembling]

1892
01:31:19,140 --> 01:31:21,970
Life is always gonna be chaotic.

1893
01:31:23,930 --> 01:31:25,680
But what I know for sure...

1894
01:31:27,480 --> 01:31:30,150
is that I wanna go through
all of it with you.

1895
01:31:32,900 --> 01:31:34,940
It's simple, really. [sniffles]

1896
01:31:37,070 --> 01:31:38,700
Just a plan with one step.

1897
01:31:48,460 --> 01:31:49,540
Still fits.

1898
01:31:55,880 --> 01:31:58,090
[sentimental music playing]

1899
01:32:09,650 --> 01:32:11,440
[Jamie softly] Stop. Be quiet.

1900
01:32:31,290 --> 01:32:32,920
[cheering and applauding]

1901
01:32:33,460 --> 01:32:35,740
- [firework exploding]
- [all screaming]

1902
01:32:35,940 --> 01:32:38,030
Shit! Sorry! Sorry!

1903
01:32:38,230 --> 01:32:39,780
There was one firework left

1904
01:32:39,980 --> 01:32:41,910
and I thought it would be fun,
and beautiful, and poignant,

1905
01:32:42,110 --> 01:32:43,620
- but it was absolutely not!
- [laughing]

1906
01:32:43,820 --> 01:32:45,100
- [Margy laughs]
- Come here.

1907
01:32:46,220 --> 01:32:48,600
[intro to "Walk Like An Egyptian" playing]

1908
01:32:54,150 --> 01:32:55,900
[fast-forwarding]

1909
01:32:59,950 --> 01:33:02,350
♪ <i>All the old paintings</i>
<i>On the tomb ♪</i>

1910
01:33:02,550 --> 01:33:04,600
♪ <i>They do the sand dance,</i>
<i>Don't you know ♪</i>

1911
01:33:04,800 --> 01:33:06,060
♪ <i>If you move too fast ♪</i>

1912
01:33:06,260 --> 01:33:07,140
[all] <i>♪ Oh-way-oh ♪</i>

1913
01:33:07,340 --> 01:33:09,230
♪ <i>They're falling down</i>
<i>Like a domino ♪</i>

1914
01:33:09,430 --> 01:33:11,570
♪ <i>All the bazaar men</i>
<i>By the Nile ♪</i>

1915
01:33:11,770 --> 01:33:13,820
♪ <i>They got the money</i>
<i>On a bet ♪</i>

1916
01:33:14,020 --> 01:33:15,190
♪ <i>Gold crocodiles ♪</i>

1917
01:33:15,390 --> 01:33:16,320
[all] <i>♪ Oh-way-oh ♪</i>

1918
01:33:16,520 --> 01:33:18,160
♪ <i>They snap their teeth</i>
<i>On your cigarette ♪</i>

1919
01:33:18,360 --> 01:33:20,160
♪ <i>Foreign types</i>
<i>With the hookah pipes say ♪</i>

1920
01:33:20,360 --> 01:33:22,990
[all] <i>♪ Way-oh-way-oh ♪</i>

1921
01:33:23,190 --> 01:33:26,970
♪ <i>Way-oh-way-oh ♪</i>

1922
01:33:27,390 --> 01:33:30,710
♪ <i>Walk like an Egyptian ♪</i>

1923
01:33:30,910 --> 01:33:32,770
[all cheering]

1924
01:33:41,070 --> 01:33:43,510
♪ <i>The blonde waitresses</i>
<i>Take their trays ♪</i>

1925
01:33:43,710 --> 01:33:45,600
♪ <i>They spin around</i>
<i>And they cross the floor ♪</i>

1926
01:33:45,800 --> 01:33:46,850
♪ <i>They've got the moves ♪</i>

1927
01:33:47,050 --> 01:33:48,950
[all] <i>♪ Oh-way-oh ♪</i>

1928
01:33:50,370 --> 01:33:52,690
♪ <i>All the school kids</i>
<i>So sick of books ♪</i>

1929
01:33:52,890 --> 01:33:54,900
♪ <i>They like the punk</i>
<i>And the metal band ♪</i>

1930
01:33:55,100 --> 01:33:57,240
♪ <i>I do not know what to do ♪</i>

1931
01:33:57,440 --> 01:33:59,320
♪ <i>I drank so much</i>
<i>Oh, my God, I'm sick ♪</i>

1932
01:33:59,520 --> 01:34:01,530
♪ <i>All the kids</i>
<i>In the marketplace say ♪</i>

1933
01:34:01,730 --> 01:34:04,160
[all] <i>♪ Way-oh-way-oh ♪</i>

1934
01:34:04,360 --> 01:34:07,760
♪ <i>Way-oh-way-oh ♪</i>

1935
01:34:08,600 --> 01:34:11,040
♪ <i>Walk like an Egyptian ♪</i>

1936
01:34:11,240 --> 01:34:13,170
[all cheering]

1937
01:34:13,370 --> 01:34:15,770
♪ <i>I'm down</i>
<i>For the way he feels ♪</i>

1938
01:34:17,560 --> 01:34:19,650
[instrumental break]

1939
01:34:24,400 --> 01:34:25,950
Whoo!

1940
01:34:54,480 --> 01:34:56,730
[whistling verse tune]

1941
01:35:02,530 --> 01:35:03,570
Make sure the batteries work.

1942
01:35:06,610 --> 01:35:10,530
I'm so sorry that I invited two con men
to your wedding.

1943
01:35:11,120 --> 01:35:14,940
And I don't know
if I'm attracted to toxic people,

1944
01:35:15,140 --> 01:35:17,120
or toxic people are attracted to me.

1945
01:35:18,040 --> 01:35:19,840
- [song ends]
- [all cheering]

1946
01:35:28,300 --> 01:35:30,300
[instrumental music playing]