[♪]
[GRUNTS]
[BEEPS]
[BABBLING]
\h\h\h\h\hTen tiny typists tripped through the tunnel.
Ten tiny typists...
You can’t be in here. Compliments of the house.
\h\h\hEnjoy it. It’s delicious. Sir. Sir.
WOMAN: Tell him callbacks are next week
and he’ll know when he knows.
HECTOR [CLEARS THROAT]: \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOkay.
[HECTOR VOCALIZING]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hANNOUNCER: Okay, Show Us What You Got.
Contestant 318, you are up next.
\h\hCONTESTANT: He wasn’t next.
Hello, where’s your number?
I have no time to waste. Magical magic. [COUGHS]
Wait a minute, man.
No, no, no.
\h\h\hHector, we told you after last time, no more.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHECTOR: \h\h\h\h\h\hThat was just my song-and-dance routine.
\h\h\h\h\hMy new act will blow your minds.
\h\h\h\h\h\hPrepare yourself for the Dance of a Thousand Pigeons.
Yes.
\h\h\h\h\hJUDGE: Th-that’s enough.
Thank you.
Maybe... [SIGHS]
Maybe go back to singing.
Oh.
Security.
Seriously, dude?
Ditch the birds.
\h\h\hShow them something they’ve never seen before.
Because whatever that was, \h\h\h\h\h\hain’t working.
[♪]
Hi, I’m looking for something...
Something...
Something unusual.
But cute.
Really, really cute.
Also affordable.
That I can fit under my hat,
while I am dancing.
\h\h\hWe got a special on bird-eating spiders.
Okay, let’s try this again.
Boa constrictor.
Vampire bat.
Might have a lemur in the back.
[SOFTLY] A lemur.
[PETE RODRIGUEZ’ "I LIKE IT LIKE THAT" PLAYING ON RADIO]
[VOICE VOCALIZING]
♪ I like it like that ♪
♪ Like that, baby ♪
\h\h\h\h♪ Oh, I said I like it like that ♪
♪ I like it like that ♪
♪ Yeah, I like it like ♪
\h\h\h♪ Stomp your feet If you think I’m neat ♪
\h\h\h♪ Clap your hands If you want some more ♪
♪ Yeah, baby ♪
♪ Like it Like it ♪
♪ Like it like ♪
♪ I like it like that ♪
♪ Yeah, I really like it \h\h\h\h\hLike that... ♪
A singing crocodile.
♪ Baby, I like it like that ♪
[HECTOR GASPS SOFTLY]
[♪]
"Lyle." Lyle.
Hector P. Valenti,
star of stage and screen, \h\h\h\hat your service.
[GIGGLES]
[LAUGHS]
[♪]
My reptilian friend, welcome home.
We’re family now.
Come.
\h\h\h\hHECTOR: Okay, let’s go.
\h[PLAYING PIANO] ♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪
♪ La ♪
Come on, Lyle.
I know you don’t talk, but you can sing.
[SNEEZES]
\h\h[SIGHS] [HITS KEYS]
[♪]
[COOS]
♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪
[GASPS]
\h♪ You can pack your bags And start skipping town ♪
\h\h\h\h♪ Hang up that hat When the show shuts down ♪
\h\h\h♪ But when the world says You ain’t quite world-renowned ♪
♪ Don’t count yourself out yet ♪ ♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪
♪ When you hit that lonely And lowest low ♪
♪ Well, up’s the only way \h\h\h\h\h\hLeft to go ♪
♪ You’re meant to reinvent \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hThe show ♪
♪ So ain’t you glad we met? ♪
♪ Turn that dull And dusty solo ♪
♪ To a dazzling duet ♪
♪ La-la, la-la ♪
♪ Maybe we started Pretty small ♪
♪ But take a look at us now ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hLYLE: ♪ Take a look at us now ♪
\h\h\h\hHECTOR: ♪ Suddenly standing 10 feet tall ♪
♪ Take a look at us now ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBOTH: ♪ Though we had no way \h\h\hTo stay afloat ♪
♪ We were scared they’d say \h\hIt was all she wrote ♪
\h\h\h\h♪ We’re ending on A sky-high note somehow ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h♪ Buddy You were all it took ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBOTH: ♪ So take a look at us now ♪
You already owe me for the last show.
Yes, but this one’s special.
Then you pay me up-front. In cash.
Cash might be a problem.
But I have something \hfar more valuable.
♪ La-la, la-la ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBOTH: ♪ When that perfect plan’s \h\hGoing off the rails ♪
♪ A heap of trouble \hIs on our tails ♪
♪ It’s time to polish up \h\h\h\h\hThose scales ♪
♪ And give it all you got ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHECTOR: ♪ If you’re out of step ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hLYLE: ♪ If you’re out of sync ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBOTH: ♪ And you care too much ♪
♪ What those critics think ♪
♪ Well, when you find \hYour missing link ♪
\h♪ They don’t get A second thought ♪
♪ ’Cause in the center \h\hOf the spotlight ♪
♪ We just might have found \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOur spot ♪
♪ Trying our luck With every leap ♪
♪ Take a look at us now ♪
♪ The road could be steady \h\h\h\h\hCould be steep ♪
♪ Take a look at us now ♪
♪ Thought we might be sunk \h\h\hUpon first glance ♪
♪ Well, who’d have thunk That we had a chance? ♪
\h\h\h♪ And life could be A song and dance somehow ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHECTOR: ♪ Buddy, you were all it took ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBOTH: ♪ So take a look at us now ♪
[♪]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hSTAGEHAND: Thirty seconds to curtain.
Got a full house out there. \h\h\h\h\h\h\hBreak a leg.
\h\h♪ So even when You’re terrified ♪
♪ Just smile a smile \h\h\hA mile wide ♪
\h\h\h\h\h♪ ’Cause, bud When you and I collide ♪
♪ Standing side by side ♪
♪ We’re gonna take A great big bow ♪
♪ Won’t you take a look At us now ♪
♪ Give us a spotlight \h\h\h\hAnd a crowd ♪
♪ Take a look at us now ♪
♪ Ready to sing our song \h\h\h\h\h\h\hOut loud ♪
♪ Take a look at us now ♪
[SOFTLY] \hLyle.
Lyle.
Lyle, sing.
Sing, Lyle.
Please.
♪ Won’t you take a look at us ♪
♪ Take a look at us ♪
[SQUEAKS SOFTLY]
[ALL LAUGHING]
Drop the curtain. Come on.
[♪]
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHECTOR: What’s that look for?
We’ve had a minor setback, nothing more.
Yes.
I’ll go on the road for a bit, and make some cash.
Oh.
Here, take this.
It’s got every song you’ll ever need.
The best companion there is.
Okay.
[ZIPS BAG]
Okay, I’ll be back in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.
And remember, if anyone asks, tell them you are stuffed.
[CHUCKLES]
Okay.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
[♪]
\h\hMAN 1: You got it? MAN 2: Yeah, I’m good.
Couple more.
Straight to the living room, brother.
Are we actually gonna be \h\h\h\h\h\hliving here?
I think we are.
This is a really bad idea.
\h\h\h\h\h\hDo you realize Manhattan crime statistics
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hhave seen a year-on-year increase
of over 18 percent?
\h\h\h\h\h\hMost people move out of the city when they have kids,
not into it.
Ready? Ahem.
And you must be the Primms.
I am so pleased to meet you.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI’m Carol from Liberty Day School.
We’re so excited \h\hto be here.
Your new Math Department chair.
We are very pleased to have you.
Oh, if you can just sign these when you get the chance.
Oh, and this is our son Josh.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hPlus, we haven’t even talked
about the widespread use \h\h\h\h\hof lead paint.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hNew city. Little nervous. CAROL: Sure.
Oh, can I tell you how much of a fan I am of your cookbooks?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hRight? I can’t wait to see what you do next.
You know, I’m actually scaling it back a bit work-wise,
so I could spend more time with Josh.
And this is Mr. Grumps, your downstairs neighbor.
Hey, how’s it going?
The local housing administration
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hhas established strict noise abatement rules.
\hMake sure you read them. Yeah, of course.
We certainly will, won’t we, darling?
Of course.
That is the most beautiful cat \h\h\h\h\h\h\hI’ve ever seen.
Loretta is not a cat.
She’s a Silver Shaded Persian
with an extremely delicate constitution.
Do not feed her or let her out of the building.
Why don’t we go upstairs? Yeah, come on.
I’ll be watching them.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hMy lawyers will be watching them too.
One foot out of place, \hand they’ll be out,
and you’ll be forced to sell. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOkay?
I’d say his bark’s worse \h\h\h\h\hthan his bite,
but to be honest, his bite’s pretty unpleasant too.
Amazing cat, though. Can we have a pet?
[CLICKS TONGUE] Josh, allergies.
JOSH [SIGHS]: I know.
[WHISTLES]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hCAROL: FYI, there’s a few leftovers
from a previous owner \h\h\h\hin the attic.
Hopefully, they won’t get in your way.
Welcome home.
[BOXES CRASHING]
Babe, can I put this here?
You hate it.
No.
New York City.
Did we just move here? I think we did.
\hYou think Josh is gonna be okay?
Are you kidding me?
He’s got his own floor \h\h\h\h\h\hup there.
\hHe’s probably having the time of his life.
[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]
[SIREN WARBLES OUTSIDE]
What was that?
AUTOMATED VOICE: That is an ambulance.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
What was that?
That was a car tire.
[THUMP, OBJECTS CLATTER]
What was that?
I have no idea what that was.
[♪]
[BREATHING SHAKILY]
[CREAKING]
\h\h\h\h"This is my crocodile. Please, take good care of him.
\hCordially yours, Hector P. Valenti."
"Lyle."
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
Tofu kale breakfast bowl.
Swiss chard chickpea scramble.
Vegan turmeric latte. I thought it was in...
\h\hThree different recipes from three different books.
It’s perfect.
Oh, honey, this looks amazing, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hand healthy.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBut I gotta go. I can’t be late. Where’s Josh?
I’m taking Josh, remember?
[SIGHS] \hRight.
Grab something.
Um...
Have you seen my glasses?
[CLICKS TONGUE]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hThank you. Hey.
Yeah?
You got this, okay?
They’re lucky to have you.
I’m lucky to have you.
Hey, don’t forget to sign up \h\h\h\h\h\h\hfor wrestling.
Okay.
We gotta go.
Josh, there’s time for breakfast.
No, it’s an 11-minute ride \h\h\h\h\h\hon the subway
\h\h\hfrom East 86th to West Farms Square,
plus a four-minute walk \h\h\h\h\h\hat this end
and a seven-minute walk \h\h\h\h\hat the other.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAssuming everything goes right.
[BEEPING]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hKeep up, Mom. All the way down to the end.
\hThen we just cross this little avenue.
[SIREN WAILING]
[PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
\h\h\hANNOUNCER [OVER PA]: This is 86th Street Station.
Excuse me.
Watch it. Wrong side, kid.
Excuse me.
Move, move.
\hAUTOMATED VOICE [OVER PA]: \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hStand clear of the closing doors, please.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
Don’t worry, you got this.
STUDENT [LAUGHING]: \h\h"You got this."
[POP MUSIC PLAYING]
Seriously?
\h\h\h\h\h\hGIRL 1: What are you doing?
Do you not see us filming here? BOY: Come on, man.
\h\h\h\h\hDo you mind? Dude, are you serious?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hGIRL 2: He’s literally filming.
Let’s go, guys.
\h\h\h\h\hWatch it on Sweep like everyone else, pumpkin.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWhatever. Weirdo.
[♪]
Featherweights, you’re up.
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
And wrestle.
Look for the single leg.
[GROWLS]
Come on.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
[CREAKING, FOOTSTEPS OVERHEAD]
\h[CLAIRE ROSINKRANZ’S "BYE BYE BYE" PLAYING]
I’m Trudy, and I’m auditioning \h\hfor Show Us What You Got.
♪ I could make you see ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h♪ I’ll kiss the cut But won’t change the pain out ♪
\h♪ I’m like a daydream Cotton candy ice cream ♪
♪ Hey remember me ♪
♪ You’ll always remember me ♪
[MEOWS]
\hJOSH: Loretta.
[JOSH CHUCKLES]
Go ahead. That milk’s for you.
Hey.
[PURRING]
\h\h\h\h\h[OVERHEAD] ♪ Hey, remember me ♪
[VOCALIZING]
♪ Hey, remember me ♪
♪ You’ll always remember me ♪
[♪]
[LORETTA MEOWS]
Okay. Stay close.
[LORETTA HISSES]
[GROWLING]
[PANTING, GASPS]
[YELPS, GRUNTS]
[HISSES]
[YOWLING]
No!
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
[HISSES]
Wait. No, you have to give her back.
[DOGS BARKING]
[SCREAMS]
Did you see that?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hMAN: Dude, that was crazy.
JOSH: Wait.
[TIRES SCREECH, HORN HONKS]
Hey, watch where you’re going!
DRIVER: \hHey!
[PANTING]
Hey, kid.
You gonna give me that phone,
or am I gonna have to take it from you?
[LYLE SNARLING]
[ROARS]
[SCREAMING]
That was totally awesome.
[YOWLS]
Wait, you gotta show me \h\h\hhow to get back.
Okay, last box.
Why did we even bring \h\h\hall this stuff?
Oh, don’t eat those. \hThey’re horrible.
What? You love these things.
You used to bake with cherries.
You made us put them on our wedding cake.
I know I did,
but that was before I found out
what’s in them.
\h\h\hThey’re full of hydrogenated palm oil,
\h\hand sugar, and corn syrup.
We wanna set a good example for Josh. We should throw them out.
Outside in the garbage.
[CHUCKLES]
Hey.
Those are my trash cans, \h\hnot your trash cans.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYours are in the back. Oh, right. I’m so sorry.
Sorry is right.
Don’t come around
scattering suburban mediocrity \h\h\h\h\h\hall over my trash.
I didn’t know. Someone’s been feeding my cat.
I wanna know who.
Do you have any idea \h\h\hhow dangerous
irritable bowel syndrome can be
in a cat as valuable \h\h\h\has Loretta?
If I catch you, or your wife, \h\h\h\hor your horrible son
so much as looking at Loretta,
my lawyers will be \h\hall over you.
Do I make myself clear?
Now, hold on a minute.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYes or no? Yes.
Yes, yes, yes. Great.
Oh, please, use more of the hot water. Help yourself.
There’s plenty to go around. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWhat? Hot water?
[DOOR CLOSES]
Hey, hi.
You awake yet?
I, um--
Here.
This is my Plus Four \h\h\hStrength card.
It’s the most valuable card \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hin my deck,
and I want you to have it.
\h\h\h\hMRS. PRIMM: Josh, where are you?
Okay, uh, I gotta go.
And I’ll be back after 3, okay?
An actual pet.
Hey, Josh, let’s go.
Taking a shortcut.
What?
[DOOR OPENS]
Josh.
Wait.
[SIGHS]
Josh?
\h\hJOSH: This way.
[BEEPING]
Josh.
Hey.
Josh.
What’s up?
[EXHALES]
Don’t worry. I got this. Heh.
[♪]
[WHIRRING]
[GASPS]
[SIGHS]
[PHONE CHIMES]
[SIGHS]
\h\h\h♪ I wanna stop And thank you, baby ♪
♪ I just wanna stop ♪
♪ And thank you, baby ♪
♪ Oh, yes ♪
♪ How sweet it is ♪
♪ To be loved by you ♪
♪ It’s just like sugar \h\h\h\h\hSometimes ♪
♪ How sweet it is ♪
\hMR. PRIMM: Oh, your book.
It’s beautiful.
That cake’s gonna make you \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hfamous.
[PEOPLE CHEERING, CHATTERING]
\h\h\hThat was a modest bite. Wait, wait. No, no, no.
\h\h\h\h\h\hMR. PRIMM: How about another taste?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hGROUP: ♪ And thank you, baby ♪
♪ I just wanna stop ♪
♪ And thank you, baby ♪
[♪]
[SNIFFLES]
[SIGHS]
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
Hey, Animal Planet.
What’s with all the books?
[STAMMERING]
You won’t believe me.
[SIGHS]
I, uh, kind of have a...
pet crocodile.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[SCOFFS] Nobody has a pet crocodile.
Told you. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAnd absolutely nobody
has a pet crocodile \h\h\hin the city.
My dad had to do free dental \h\h\h\h\hwork for the mayor
just to get my pet rattlesnake \h\h\hallowed in our building.
I-I saw you on Sweep.
I mean, like, not...
I didn’t... It was...
You’re kind of a weirdo, \h\h\h\h\h\haren’t you?
Yeah.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
[PHONE CHIMES]
I’ve always approached our life like one of my recipes.
When things get hard, we stick with the ingredients that work.
But now it’s all different, and I still feel bad.
About what?
Josh growing up.
Oh, honey.
I know that I should feel happy, but...
[SIGHS]
I wish I just didn’t feel so left out.
Hey.
You’re a huge part \hof Josh’s life,
and an amazing mother.
All right?
Hey.
\h\h\h\hWe were lost until you found us.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh.
[MEOWS]
Whoa. Ha, ha, ha.
What...?
Uh...
You want me to...?
Okay, okay. See, the thing is
I’ve never dumpster dived before, so...
Okay.
Whoa.
What...?
So gross.
[PURRING]
Let’s see.
You like noodles?
[COUGHS]
Ugh!
[CAN CLATTERS]
[CLATTERING]
[LAUGHS]
Oh, my God.
[♪]
Oh, no, that’s okay.
I have sort of quite \h\ha specific diet,
which is mostly Bagel Bites, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hso I’m...
\h\h\hSee, I’m not sure if that’s gonna taste--
Wow, that’s actually amazing.
I--
I’ve never had anything \h\h\hlike that before.
Where are you from?
My mom’s family is from Taiwan.
Well, she’s actually \h\h\h\hmy stepmom.
My mom died when I was 2.
[♪]
\h\hMy dad says I got her nose.
I can do this really, like, crazy thing with my knuckles
where if I, like, go like that, I can, like, crack them all.
Do you have knuckles?
What is that?
[SNIFFS]
Uh...
You don’t talk, do you?
♪ In the shadow of the city ♪
\h♪ When the days Have disappeared ♪
\h\h♪ Some might say It’s sort of gritty ♪
♪ Full of faces to be feared ♪
♪ But there are wonders \h\hThat are waiting ♪
♪ Underneath the midnight sky ♪
♪ We got the stars \h\hIlluminating ♪
♪ It’s a place for you and I ♪
♪ A little space for you and I ♪
\h\h\h\h\h♪ At the top Of the world tonight ♪
♪ Where no one ever Has to hide ♪
\h\h\h\h\h♪ At the top Of the world tonight ♪
♪ You’re sitting safe \h\hAnd starry-eyed ♪
♪ There is treasure \h\hYou can find ♪
\h\h\h♪ In something Someone left behind ♪
\h\h\h\h\h♪ At the top Of the world tonight ♪
♪ It can stay this way ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h♪ At least Until the morning light ♪
\h\h\h♪ Through the dark There’s someone singing ♪
♪ Like an old familiar song ♪
♪ Like you fell into a melody ♪
♪ That’s bringing you right here Where you can belong ♪
♪ And there are wonders That are waiting ♪
♪ Underneath the midnight sky ♪
♪ And by the stars We’re navigating ♪
♪ To a place for you and I ♪
\h\h\h\h\h♪ At the top Of the world tonight ♪
♪ Where no one ever \h\h\hHas to hide ♪
♪ At the top of the world \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTonight ♪
♪ You’re sitting safe And starry-eyed ♪
♪ There is treasure \h\hYou can find ♪
\h\h\h♪ In something Someone left behind ♪
♪ At the top of the world \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTonight ♪
♪ It can stay this way ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h♪ At least Until the morning light ♪
♪ At the top of the world ♪
♪ The top of the world ♪
♪ The top of the world tonight ♪
Yeah!
[WHOOPS] \h\h\h\h\h[ROARS]
[LAUGHS]
[♪]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hGRUMPS: Yes, it’s an emergency.
The city must do something about these double-wide strollers.
\hYou know, just because somebody made the mistake
of having a second child
doesn’t mean that I should be \h\hforced off the sidewalk,
into the...
[RETCHING]
...streets.
Mumsykins?
[FARTING]
\h\h\hMR. PRIMM: Have a great day.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYou too, honey. [DOOR CLOSES]
Josh, time to wake up.
Come on.
Josh?
[SNORING]
All right, Josh, come on.
Let’s go.
[SCREAMING]
Mom, no, hold on.
Oh, my God.
He’s safe.
No, Mom, it’s okay.
[SCREAMS]
[MRS. PRIMM PANTING]
♪ I wanna stop ♪
♪ And thank you, baby ♪
♪ I just wanna stop ♪
♪ And thank you, baby ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
\h♪ How sweet it is To be loved by you ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
\h♪ How sweet it is To be loved by you ♪
\h\h\hMom, I swear, he’s not dangerous.
He’s a crocodile.
Okay, yes, crocodiles \h\h\hare dangerous.
They bite through bone and have a taste for human flesh.
But he’s not like that. He wears a scarf.
I have to tell your father.
No, he’ll have him taken away. I’ll agree with him.
N-no. \h\h\h\h[LINE TRILLING]
\h\h\h\hMR. PRIMM: Thanks for calling. \hLeave a message.
Lyle is a good crocodile. He’s just lonely, like I was.
And he cares about me.
Do you realize how different things have been
since I met him?
I made a friend.
Mom, I feel like I belong here, because of Lyle.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hJosh. You won’t even see him.
He’s nocturnal.
And he can sing.
It’s, like, how he talks. [RINGING]
\hJust don’t do anything until I get home tonight.
That’s all I’m asking. Please.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hMRS. PRIMM: Hey. Hey, honey, sorry.
Did you call?
I just...
wanted to wish you \h\h\ha great day.
Oh, thanks.
I could use that. These city \hkids have a lot of energy.
All right, I’ll see you at home. I love you.
I can’t believe I just did that.
Everyone. Yeah, that’s nice.
Can we sit down, though, please?
\h\h\h\h\h\hHey, guys, let’s not throw stuff.
Can we just settle down? Just a little bit, okay?
[♪]
[STEVIE WONDER’S "SIR DUKE" \h\h\h\h\hPLAYING UPSTAIRS]
♪ Just because a record Has a groove ♪
♪ Don’t make it in the groove ♪
♪ Come on ♪
Oh, oh.
♪ When the people \hStart to move ♪
♪ They can feel it all over ♪
♪ People, yeah ♪
♪ Over ♪
♪ People-- ♪
[YELPS]
[SCREAMING] \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[SCREAMING]
[WHIMPERS]
[♪]
\h\h\h\h\hMRS. PRIMM: This isn’t happening.
Crocodiles don’t belong \h\h\h\h\h\hin houses.
[PANTING]
♪ When you’re cooking Something up ♪
\h♪ And only trying The tried-and-true ♪
♪ You stick to the predictable You’ve known ♪
♪ Measure out the same amounts ♪
♪ Every teaspoon Every ounce ♪ \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[GASPS]
♪ No surprises when the rules Are set in stone ♪
♪ But when the sugar Hits the fan ♪
\h\h♪ You make a mess Of your perfect plan ♪
\h♪ And you’re facing the face Of something strange and new ♪
\h\h\h\h\h♪ If it’s not What you had prepared ♪
\h\h♪ In the scramble You can’t get scared ♪
♪ Let something wild And wonderful break through ♪
♪ Start ripping up the recipe ♪
♪ Let go of how it has to be ♪
\h\h\h\h\h♪ You forget About right and wrong ♪
♪ When you lose yourself \h\h\h\h\hIn this song ♪
♪ It’s perfect unexpectedly ♪
No--
♪ When you rip up the recipe ♪
♪ Doo-doo-doo ♪ \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[GASPS]
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
♪ Living life inside the lines ♪
♪ Safe and simple \h\hBy the book ♪
\h\h♪ You keep sweeping The uncertainty aside ♪
♪ But an unfamiliar spice ♪
♪ Might bring something \h\h\h\h\hExtra nice ♪
♪ Something twice as good ♪
♪ As what you would’ve tried ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBOTH: ♪ ’Cause when the sugar \h\h\h\hHits the fan ♪
\h\h♪ You make a mess Of your perfect plan ♪
\h♪ And you’re facing the face Of something strange and new ♪
♪ Something’s ready To wreck your day ♪
\h\h♪ You can pray That it goes away ♪
\h\h\h♪ Or let something wild And wonderful break through ♪
♪ Start ripping up the recipe ♪
♪ Let go of how it has to be ♪
♪ No, you can’t plan it \h\h\h\h\hIn advance ♪
♪ Gotta lose yourself \h\h\hIn the dance ♪
♪ It’s perfect unexpectedly ♪
Mom?
♪ When you rip up the recipe ♪
♪ Doo-doo-doo ♪
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
♪ Start ripping up the recipe ♪
♪ And make a little mess \h\h\h\h\h\h\hWith me ♪
\h\h\h\h\h♪ You forget About right and wrong ♪
♪ When you lose yourself \h\h\h\h\hIn this song ♪
♪ It’s perfect unexpectedly ♪
♪ When you rip up the recipe ♪
♪ Doo-doo-doo ♪
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
♪ When you rip up the recipe ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hJOSH: Lyle? MRS. PRIMM: Lyle, all right.
[WHIRRING]
Three cameras, all mounted \hon the roof’s perimeter.
\hNo one’s getting in or out without you knowing about it.
\h\hPerfect. I just know they’re up to something.
\h\h\h\hNo one’s ever putting anything nasty
in Mummy’s tummy ever again.
Are they, Mumsykins?
No. No.
N-O.
That’s how we spell \h\h\h"no, no, no."
I’m just gonna...
Yeah.
[♪]
MRS. PRIMM: \h\h\hMmm!
[CRUNCHING]
Mmm!
Try that.
Really?
We should save some for Lyle.
\h\h\h\h\hMR. PRIMM: Hey, guys. [GASPS]
Good morning, sweetheart.
Hey, Dad.
Pizza. For breakfast.
And where’d you get caviar?
\h\h\h\h\hJOSH: Can I have a--?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[BELCHES] No.
Sorry. Sorry.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hExcuse me. It’s more like...
[BELCHES]
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Oh, um...
See you. \h\hLet’s not get any food...
[HUMMING "RIP UP THE RECIPE"] Um, honey?
Yeah?
\hI’ve, um, noticed that you’ve been...
happy, uh, recently.
Which is great.
Mm-hm. \hAnd I wondered if that,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hyou know, hasn’t been because of me.
I mean, is-is...?
Is there something \hI need to know?
Oh, sweet pea.
I mean, is there...
someone else?
Not exactly.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[SIGHS] It’s time to tell your father.
Tell me what?
[TOILET FLUSHES]
[♪]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hGo, go, go... Hey, Dad, wait, it’s fine.
It’s not what you think.
All right, this way.
Hide in here.
Dad, it’s okay.
It is not okay.
There’s a crocodile \h\h\hin the house.
\h\h\hThat’s what I thought too, but he’s not a normal crocodile.
What are you talking about?
Everybody, get out of here!
[YELPS]
[STAMMERING]
[GASPS]
[WHISTLES]
Follow me! Let’s go!
[GROANS]
\h\h\h\h[YELPS] Oh...
There’s a crocodile...
May I wish you good day, sir.
Hector P. Valenti, \hat your service.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWhat? Where should I put my bags?
Uh, I’m not sure I--
Oh, dear. You didn’t know I was coming?
No worries.
\h\h\h\hWhile you call the school authorities,
I’ll make myself at home.
[SIGHS]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hMR. PRIMM: But you’re... I’m, uh...
Please, please, be my guest.
It’s been a very long and difficult trip.
I’d hate to put my back out in a moment of--
Oh, my.
Oh, Lyle.
Look at the size of you.
Lyle.
Yes.
[CHUCKLES]
Ah.
[WHEEZING]
\h\h[BREATHLESSLY] I missed you too.
Lyle.
Oh, no, no, no. We had no idea. Nobody told us anything.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Okay, yeah.
\h\h\h\hWell, thank you. Thank you very much. Bye.
What did they say?
Well, this was his family’s \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hbrownstone,
\h\hbut he somehow lost it in some kind of a business deal.
\h\hHe’s figuring out some kind of new show,
and there’s a clause \hthat says somehow
he can stay here 15 days \h\h\h\hout of the year.
What?
Oh! This cannot be happening.
We have a crocodile,
and now David Copperfield, living in our attic.
This is definitely not okay.
And can you please stop drawing him?
It’s weird.
[♪]
Yes.
[HECTOR LAUGHING]
[PLAYING DRUMS]
[SHATTERING]
[HECTOR GIGGLES]
[HECTOR SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
I hate you.
I hate them so much.
[HECTOR LAUGHING HEARTILY]
\h\h\h\h\h\hHECTOR: ♪ Express yourself ♪
Oh!
Good morning, sir. \h\hGood morning.
If there’s any breakfast, \h\h\h\h\hI’ll take eggs.
Any way you wanna make them. But not scrambled. Or fried.
Thank you.
♪ Whatever you do ♪
♪ Unh ♪
\h\h\h\hLYLE: ♪ Do it good ♪
♪ Unh ♪
♪ Whatever you do ♪
♪ Do, do, do, do, yeah ♪
♪ Express yourself ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ Oh, do it ♪
♪ Do it to it, yeah ♪
♪ Go on and do it ♪
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Ah ♪
Okay, family day. What do you think, history museum?
Go there? \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hSure.
There he is.
I’m just gonna...
So, Dad’s not coming.
Dad needs to let off a little steam.
He doesn’t like Hector, \h\h\h\h\h\h\hdoes he?
\h\h\hOh, well, Hector is a very colorful character.
I don’t know about you, but I could eat a horse
if you spread butter on it.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYou’re a Gators fan? Don’t be ridiculous.
Smoke and mirrors, my friend. Smoke and mirrors.
How else do you think \h\hLyle can join us?
[CHUCKLES] \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[SQUEALS]
\hHECTOR: Shall we?
\h\hAre you sure this is safe? Who wants to be safe?
\h\h\h\h\hNo, "safe" is a repellent little word.
Expunge it from your mind.
We are here to live, yes?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAnd living is a dangerous business.
\h\h\h\h\hYou’re not worried that some people might think
he’s a real crocodile?
Ah. Nothing could be \hof less importance
than what other people think.
Let people stare.
For once in their dreary lives,
they have something wonderful to look at.
Look, look.
♪ Hey, we made it \h\hWe’re here ♪
♪ Time to get this party... ♪
\h\hHECTOR: Here it is.
\h\h\h\h\hBrain freeze. [CHUCKLES]
Another one.
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[LAUGHING]
MAN: Oh, no, you’re going down!
You’re going down! Yeah!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[BARKING] [WHOOPING]
Let’s go, Dawgs! [SNARLS]
What the...?
[WHINES]
♪ Just one little word from you \h\hAnd we’re coming through ♪
\h\h\h\h\h[SNEEZES] ♪ You already know ♪
♪ Hey, we made it \h\hWe’re here ♪
♪ Time to get this party \h\h\h\hStarted right ♪
♪ We’re right on time ♪
\h♪ Like la, la, la, la La-la-la-la-la-la, hey ♪
♪ La, la, la, la, la La-la-la-la-la-la ♪
\h♪ Like la, la, la, la La-la-la-la-la-la, hey ♪
♪ La, la, la, la, la La-la-la-la-la-la ♪
[MRS. PRIMM & JOSH CHATTERING]
\h\hOh, perfect timing. You could be on my team.
Hey. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOh, uh, I’m okay.
I’m a little exhausted. I’ll go upstairs and take a shower.
\h\h\hHector says he thinks the hot water might be out.
HECTOR [CHUCKLES]: \h\h\h\h\hMy bad.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[GROANS] [SPINNER SPINNING]
MRS. PRIMM: Okay, right hand, red.
[SIGHS]
[CREAKING]
[GASPS]
Lyle.
[♪]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI was, uh, just checking the boiler.
Because it’s cold, right?
Ow! Ow.
Where’d you get that at?
Lyle, why would you do that?
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
[FANS CHEERING]
[GRUNTS]
[SCREAMS]
Oh, no.
Not today.
[ROARING]
One, two, three.
Yeah!
[CACKLING]
Whoo!
All-league champion!
I’m back, I’m back!
I still got it.
\h\hTwenty years. State champs, ’99.
Whoo!
[CACKLING]
Come on, one more round.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
[THUMPING, CLATTERING]
\h[GRUNTS] Stay down.
[STUDENTS CHATTERING \h\h\hINDISTINCTLY]
Good morning.
[TWEETS]
Let’s try that again.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hSTUDENTS: Good morning, Mr. Primm.
[WHISTLING A TUNE]
Dad, you have to come see this.
Is that a white rabbit?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHECTOR: We can start the show of magic.
Can you please pass me those? \h\h\h\hMRS. PRIMM: Oh. This?
Thank you. Yes, I need those.
Thank you very much.
Now, now that we have the bunny,
we can start our magic show.
\hFront row for you, sir. Oh.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBehold, the power of illusion.
Okay? Nothing here, nothing over there.
Follow the card carefully.
[JOSH GASPS]
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
Magical magic.
[LAUGHING]
[ALL LAUGHING]
So where are they? Here they are.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[EXCLAIMING] [LAUGHS]
\hYou have a nine, and you have a two.
[PRIMMS CLAPPING AND CHEERING]
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Whoo!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hMR. PRIMM: Hey, play us one of your songs.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hJOSH: Yeah, play something.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hMRS. PRIMM: That would be amazing. Please?
Hm.
Hmm...
[CLEARS THROAT]
♪ Maybe we started \h\hPretty small ♪
♪ Take a look at us now ♪
♪ Suddenly standing \h\h10 feet tall ♪
♪ Take a look at us now ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBOTH: ♪ Though we had no way \h\h\hTo stay afloat ♪
♪ We were scared they’d say \h\hIt was all she wrote ♪
\h\h\h♪ We’re ending On a sky-high note ♪
♪ Somehow ♪
♪ Buddy, you were all it took ♪
♪ So take a look at us now ♪
[PRIMMS CLAPPING] \hMRS. PRIMM: Wow!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[WHISTLING] Whoo!
[♪]
Don’t you see what that means, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hLyle?
That was an audience,
and you performed.
You performed, Lyle.
Yes.
Lyle. Lyle?
We can do it.
\h\h\hWe can do it. We can take our show on the road.
\h\h\h\h\h\hYou and me, like we always planned.
♪ So I made a couple mistakes ♪
♪ Got a few things wrong ♪
♪ We can claw right back ♪
♪ To where we belong ♪
♪ It’s just us two ♪
♪ And a soaring song ♪
♪ Redoing our debut ♪
♪ We get to finish What we started ♪
♪ It’s a brand-new me and you ♪
♪ A brand-new me and you ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBOTH: ♪ Thought we might be sunk ♪
♪ Upon first glance ♪
♪ Well, who’d have thunk? \hHere’s a second chance ♪
\h\h\h♪ And life could be A song and dance somehow ♪
♪ So take a look at us now ♪
[LAUGHING]
Let’s go. Let’s go.
[BABBLING]
\h\hWhere are you going? Why is he all dressed up?
Well, when the world sees Lyle sing and dance,
we’re gonna be rich.
Rich. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWhat?
But he doesn’t need money.
He needs a family and a home.
This is the business of show, Josh.
Because Lyle is not just a crocodile.
He’s a showman.
Bye.
Does he even want that?
Josh, tonight is our big night.
The night for what?
The preview for potential investors in our new show.
Evangelyne will get us there \h\h\h\h\h\h\hjust in time.
Who’s Evangelyne?
Hector?
[REVVING]
Ah. Wish us luck.
Take a look at us now.
[♪]
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
Hey, how’d it go?
Oh, the stage can be a cruel mistress.
I thought Lyle had changed, but he hasn’t.
He froze.
Stage fright.
He still won’t sing for an audience.
Just so you know,
\h\h\hI don’t care if you sing or not.
\h\h\h\h\h\hEither way, I think you’re awesome.
[♪]
Just give him a little time, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hokay?
He’s gonna be okay.
♪ Thought we would make A perfect pair ♪
♪ Take a look at us now ♪
♪ Thought there was a spotlight We could share ♪
♪ Take a look at us now ♪
\h\h\hI won’t pretend this isn’t something of a blow,
my old friend.
One or two loans will now require
a radical renegotiation, you know?
But nothing I can’t smooth over with a little Valenti charm.
[CHUCKLES] \h\h\hCiao.
♪ Take a look at us ♪
♪ Now ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hCAROL: It’s the school’s brownstone, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hnot yours.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI’m done. I did not sign up for this.
Mr. Primm, for you.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOh, good, it’s the man of the hour.
\h\hYou’re a member of the neighborhood?
Time to earn your spot.
Okay, great.
Get the money.
[GROANS]
Show business.
Oh, please, sit.
Come in.
I don’t wanna be unneighborly. \h\h\h\h\h\h\hReally, I don’t.
\hAnd no one loves music and singing and dancing
more than me, you know.
Just not at 3:00 in the morning.
So if you could find it \h\h\h\hin your hearts
to sign the petition,
and override the school’s power
to allow awful families \h\h\h\h\hlike this...
Okay, now hold on just a second--
[THUMPING] \h\h\hNo.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWell... MR. PRIMM: That’s just Josh.
Practicing wrestling. Trampoline.
On a trampoline.
He wrestles on a trampoline \h\h\h\h\hwe’ll get rid of.
Sure, but if it’s not that, \hand it’s something else,
something that you’re hiding \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hfrom us,
\hsomething that you think you’ll get in trouble for,
\h\h\h\h\h\hwell, I believe now is the time to share it.
[KNOCKING]
Do you mind if I join you?
Valenti. \h\hAlistair Grumps.
Alistair Grumps.
How in the world are you?
[GASPS]
[EXCLAIMING]
Wait, is that the same sofa?
You literally have not changed \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\ha thing.
[CHUCKLES]
You see, Alistair and I \h\h\hgrew up together.
Have you been drinking? Yes, I have.
\h\hI always feel like the world looks better
with a glass of champagne.
A glass of champagne.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hGet out. This is none of your business.
\hIt is, it is, because if the Primms are the problem,
then I, as their houseguest,
I’m part of the problem too, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\ham I not?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hA very large part. HECTOR: With your permission,
\h\hI’d like to be part of the solution as well.
Would you mind, please?
Thank you.
Delicious. \hPer usual, Hector, you’re overstepping.
HECTOR: We are not the only ones who overstepped the mark.
We, for instance, haven’t mounted security cameras
throughout the neighborhood,
filming other residents without their consent.
[PEOPLE MURMURING]
[SCOFFS]
No permission asked?
None.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hNo. No. Were releases signed?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hNo. HECTOR: No.
Well, if it was me,
I’d go straight to the police.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hMm-hm. [SCOFFS]
Out, all of you.
Everyone, get out of here.
Uh...
Come on.
This meeting will be reconvened at a later date.
Thank you so much for coming.
\h\hWOMAN: Excuse me.
Not you.
I can assure you, Alistair,
\h\h\h\h\h\hwe have absolutely nothing \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hto talk about. Heh.
Why don’t we see about that?
\h\h\h\hMR. PRIMM: \hHector had this whole performance.
\h\h\h\h\h\hMRS. PRIMM: Even Marjory was miffed.
Mr. Grumps’s jaw was... She was so upset.
Hector. \h\h\h\h\h\hHector.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[CHUCKLES] Oh, thank you.
Oh! Thank you so much. That was incredible.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hNo, no, no. You have all been extraordinary.
It was the least I could do.
Thank you, really.
So I have to make myself \h\h\h\h\h\hpresentable.
I’ll be back in two shakes \hof a lamb’s tail, okay?
[♪]
[TRUCK PULLS UP]
[SIRENS APPROACHING]
Hide him.
Now.
Go.
Stay here.
Hector, Hector.
[KNOCKING, DOOR OPENS]
\hOFFICER 1: Where is he?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOFFICER 2: I’m gonna look around back. \h\h\h\h\h\h\hJust in case.
Could be a big one.
[LYLE ROARS]
\h\h\h\h\hOFFICER 1: Stay back, stay back.
No, no. Whoa! Josh.
\h\h\h\h\h\hJOSH: He won’t hurt you.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[CRACKLING] MR. PRIMM: Hey!
Lyle.
You have to sing.
Now.
MR. PRIMM: \h\h\hNo.
MRS. PRIMM: \h\h\h\hNo.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
Watch your step there. Easy.
No.
You’re clear.
[PANTING]
Josh. \h\hI’ll talk to him.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI knew it. I knew you were up to no good.
\h\h\h\hHiding a crocodile. You’ve broken so many rules.
Wait till I tell your school.
They’ll throw you \hout of the city.
\h\h\h\h\h\hYou’ll be gone, all of you, by Thanksgiving.
[♪]
[SNORING]
[SNARLS]
[FARTS]
Lyle.
Hey, hey, buddy.
Hey, are you okay?
I came as soon as it opened.
Lyle. Hey, buddy.
Hey, no hands through the bars.
Thank you.
You, get back.
We have to do something. \hHe must hate it here.
Look, Josh, they understand crocodiles.
They’re gonna look after him.
Then why aren’t they giving him pork-and-rosemary vol-au-vents,
\h\h\h\hor chicken Milanese with a dash of salsa verde?
He’s a crocodile, \h\h\hsweetheart.
He’s a very special crocodile, \hbut he is still a crocodile.
\hHe has to learn to live with the other crocodiles.
\hNo, no. We can break him out. Josh.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hIt’s not a bank. It’s a zoo. How hard can it be?
Josh, stop. Okay?
We’ll come visit Lyle every day, I promise.
We’ll speak to the zoo, \h\h\h\h\hand ask them
to let us bring Lyle his favorite treats.
There’s only so much we can do.
\h\h\hNot all problems have a solution, Josh.
No, you don’t get \hto decide that.
Not for me. Not anymore.
\hMy whole life, I’ve been scared,
because you’ve been scared.
But I’m not scared anymore.
Because of Lyle.
He changed everything for me.
And not just for me.
For you too. So...
I’m not gonna leave here.
I’m not just gonna leave here \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hwithout...
\h\h\h\h\h\hLeave here without... Josh?
Wait, Josh, Josh, Josh. Oh, my God.
Josh, are you okay?
Josh. Get his inhaler. It’s in his jacket.
Call 911.
[SIREN CHIRPS]
He had a panic attack that triggered his asthma.
It’s good he had his inhaler with him.
He’s gonna be fine. You got nothing to worry about.
Thank you, sir.
\h\h\h\h\hYou okay, bud? Yeah.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYou sure? Yeah.
[♪]
\h♪ We had nights Of endless music ♪
♪ We were dizzy dancing Till the dawn ♪
\h\h\h\h\h♪ We were free Singing sweet harmonies ♪
♪ With the city ♪
\h♪ But maybe that was Someone else’s song ♪
♪ Back to earth again ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h♪ You knew Where this was headed ♪
\h\h♪ And honestly You’re better off ♪
\h\h♪ Better here Where you belong ♪
♪ You got caught up \h\hIn the colors ♪
♪ You got wrapped up \h\h\hIn the ride ♪
♪ You thought the feeling \h\h\h\h\h\hWas forever ♪
\h\h♪ And the stars Were on your side ♪
\h♪ It was lovely While it lasted ♪
♪ But it wasn’t meant to stay ♪
♪ Still you let yourself \h\h\hGet carried away ♪
♪ I guess I let myself Get carried away ♪
♪ We got carried away ♪
♪ Carried away ♪
♪ Got carried away ♪
♪ Carried away ♪
♪ So we got mixed up \h\hIn the madness ♪
♪ But wasn’t it a perfect mess \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWe made? ♪
♪ Well, you live And you learn ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h♪ You return To the safe and the simple ♪
\h♪ And behind our walls We fall back into place ♪
♪ Back to earth again ♪
\h♪ You’re through With pretending ♪
♪ ’Cause this is how \hThe ending goes ♪
♪ Now you’re here Where you belong ♪
♪ We got caught up \hIn the colors ♪
♪ We got wrapped up \h\h\hIn the ride ♪
♪ We thought the feeling \h\h\h\h\hWas forever ♪
\h♪ And the stars Were on our side ♪
\h♪ It was lovely While it lasted ♪
♪ But it wasn’t meant to stay ♪
♪ We just let ourselves \h\hGet carried away ♪
♪ We got carried away ♪
♪ Carried away ♪
♪ Got carried away ♪
♪ Carried away ♪
♪ Lost in a fantasy ♪
♪ Of all we were gonna be ♪
♪ Carried away ♪
\h♪ It was lovely While it lasted ♪
♪ It was never meant to stay ♪
♪ But we let ourselves \h\hGet carried away ♪
♪ I guess I let myself \h\hGet carried away ♪
[STUDENTS CHATTERING \h\h\hINDISTINCTLY]
Hey.
Can you believe it?
I still can’t believe it.
\hWe’re gonna be on Show Us What You Got.
That’s great.
You deserve it.
Listen.
Don’t give up.
\hWhen Malfoy escaped, I thought I’d never see him again either.
\hMalfoy? The pet rattlesnake my crazy Uncle Ernie gave me?
\hHe was gone for six weeks. We all thought he was dead.
Until the neighbors found him in the back of their toaster oven.
Miracles do happen, Josh.
[♪]
There he goes.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
Mom, I’m fine. \h\h\h\h\hI know you’re fine.
I’m gonna make sure \hyou stay that way.
Come on.
Where you going?
Taking the trash out. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOkay.
Be careful. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYeah, be careful.
[SIGHS]
How could you do it?
I’ve asked myself the same question over and over, Josh.
But, you see, I’ve got nothing.
[CLEARS THROAT]
No family, no friends.
Then why do you keep \h\h\h\hleaving him?
When Lyle choked,
\h\h\hI had to go back and make it on my own.
Again. Yes.
But I couldn’t, because no one’s interested in...
me.
And I owe a lot of people a lot of money, Josh.
A lot of money.
So when Alistair Grumps offered me that cash,
I had to take it.
Out of need, out of fear, out of weakness.
And I’ve hated myself for doing it.
Good, because I hate you too.
But this is not about me, or about you. It’s about Lyle.
And you know as well as I do, we can’t leave him in that zoo.
\h\hSo if you have the stomach for it,
\h\h\h\h\hif you have the fire in your belly I know you have,
you have,
\h\hyou, young man, are going to help me
break that crocodile out of the zoo.
Yes, because we have magic on our side.
The power of illusion.
Magical magic.
There is no magic, Hector.
I’ll be at the East Gate at 4 a.m.
Four a.m. Be there.
[CLOCK TICKING]
[♪]
[SIGHS]
VOICE [ON TV]: PlayStation.
Join us live tomorrow, right here in New York City.
We’re crowning the world’s \h\h\h\h\h\hnext superstar
\h\h\hon the finale of Show Us What You Got.
Oh, no...
\h\h\h\h[TV CONTINUES DRONING INDISTINCTLY]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWhat do we got here? My dear fellow.
May I have some assistance, please?
I thought I had this trick down,
but I’ve got myself in a bit of a pickle.
Please. Uh...
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOkay. Thank you.
Some sort of handcuff trick?
\h\h\h\h\h\hThis looks crazy. Maybe if you move that way...
Hey.
Hey, hey.
Magical magic.
Let me out of here.
This won’t take long. \h\h\h\h\hI promise.
No, you can’t go in there. You can’t go in there.
Come back here. Come back here.
Lyle.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[WHISTLES] [SNARLING]
Not Lyle.
Not good.
This was seriously your plan?
I knew you’d come.
\h\h\hYes. Climb up there, and catch my rope, please.
You have to get me out of here.
Josh?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hCome on. Josh. Lyle.
Help me. Help me.
Lyle.
No, no, no.
Josh?
You have to talk to him. \h\hTell him to help me.
It’s not me that has to talk to him, Hector.
It’s you.
But...
I-I realize I may not \h\hhave always acted
in the best way possible, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hLyle.
But I showed you the world.
\h\hI introduced you to white truffle oil.
I taught you the moonwalk.
[SNARLS]
Okay, fine, fine.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI apologize. My behavior was unforgivable.
\h\h\h\hI used you, and I abandoned you.
And it’s my fault you’re here.
But, please, come back with me.
Come back to where you belong.
Back to...
Back to Josh.
And the Primms.
To your family.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[ROARS] [HECTOR WHIMPERING]
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
[SIGHING]
We gotta get you out of here.
Tell me the second part of your plan is better.
Not better. It’s perfect.
\h\hI’ve got Evangelyne parked up by the gates.
We can outrun anyone on her.
But Lyle can’t just keep \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hrunning.
\hOf course he can. You’d be amazed what you can outrun.
Ex-wives. OFFICER: Hands up.
Creditors.
[SIRENS WAILING]
Park rangers.
No, no, this is not a life.
We have to show people \h\hwhat Lyle can do.
That they don’t have to be \h\h\h\h\h\hscared of him.
We gotta show them...
[BRAKES HISS]
Go, take Lyle. I’ve got this.
[LAUGHS]
Sorry, not this one. Uh...
[SHOUTS GIBBERISH]
Give me a minute. Give me a minute.
Prepare to have your flabber \h\h\h\h\h\h\htruly gasted.
[♪]
No, we have no one to drive it.
[ENGINE REVS]
\h\hHECTOR: Go, go, go.
Go. Come on, Josh. \h\h\h\h\hCome on.
\hOFFICER [OVER PHONE]: They’re leaving the park. \h\h\h\hCall the police.
Copy.
Sorry.
How much further?
[NEIGHS]
Lyle.
All units, we got a crocodile on a motorcycle,
entering the Theater District.
OFFICER [OVER RADIO]: \h\h\hYou got a what?
[HONKING]
Where’s Josh? He’s not in his room. I looked everywhere.
What’s he doing in Times Square?
\h\hJOSH: Hey, hey.
I’m on the steps.
Yeah, I need your help. Where is it?
Yeah, I’m at the backstage door.
What are you doing here?
Is...? Is...?
Yes, and we need to show people what he can do.
We need your help.
Trudy.
Follow me.
Whoa, hey.
Kaysha from Kingsport, check. Where’s Kaysha from...?
Security?
Yet another unbelievable \h\h\h\h\h\hperformance.
Remember to text your vote \h\h\h\hto the long number
on the bottom of your screens.
Once again, Tamia and Talullah.
\h\h\hAnd if you thought the talent stopped there,
oh, boy, are...
[AUDIENCE GASPS]
What is happening? What is going on?
Wait, is that a real crocodile?
OFFICER [OVER RADIO]: \h\h\hDo you have him?
Got him, sir. Copy.
\h\hYou’re just gonna have to trust me now.
This is it.
Lyle, you have to sing.
It’s okay.
We’ll, uh, do it together.
\h\h[OFF-KEY] ♪ Maybe we started Pretty small ♪
♪ But take a look at us now ♪
♪ Take a look at us now ♪
[FEEDBACK WHINES]
♪ Suddenly standing \h\h10 feet tall ♪
♪ Take a look at us now ♪
♪ Buddy, you were all it took ♪
♪ So take a look at us ♪
You have to show them.
♪ Take a look at us ♪
♪ Now ♪
♪ Take a look at us now ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ When that perfect plan’s Going off the rails ♪
♪ A heap of trouble \hIs on our tails ♪
♪ It’s time to polish up \h\h\h\h\hThose scales ♪
♪ And give it all we’ve got ♪
♪ ’Cause in the center \h\hOf the spotlight ♪
♪ We just might have found \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOur spot ♪
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
Come on. Come on, let’s go.
[ROARS]
♪ Give us a spotlight \h\h\h\hAnd a crowd ♪
♪ Take a look at us now ♪
♪ Ready to sing our song \h\h\h\h\h\h\hOut loud ♪
♪ Take a look at us now ♪
♪ The big shebang Our grand debut ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBOTH: ♪ Now we got the hang Of the me plus you ♪
♪ Seems our dreams just might \h\h\hCome through somehow ♪
♪ Buddy, you were all it took ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h♪ Buddy You were all it took♪
♪ Take a look at us now ♪ ♪ Take a look at us now ♪
\h\h\h♪ Take a look at us now ♪
♪ Take a look at us now ♪ ♪ Take a look at us now ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Take a look at us now ♪
[AUDIENCE CHEERING WILDLY]
All right.
[LAUGHS]
[CROWD MURMURING]
The point I’m making, Your Honor,
is that nothing has changed.
So the crocodile sang. \h\h\h\h\h\h\hSo what?
It wasn’t even that good. \h\h\h\h[CROWD GRUMBLING]
Oh, you’re just impressed because it was a crocodile.
\h\h\h\h\hIt was still broken out of the zoo.
\h\h\hAnd according to every single one
\h\h\h\hof the city’s very own regulations,
it cannot be kept in a domestic residence.
[BOOING]
JUDGE: Order, order. \h\hIt’s okay.
[GAVEL POUNDING]
I’m afraid the plaintiff is right.
[CROWD GROANS] \h[DOOR OPENS]
\h\h\h\h\hHECTOR: \h\hBut who wants to be merely right
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hwhen you can be fabulously triumphant instead?
Good morning, Your Honor. \h\h\h\h\h\h\hExcuse me.
I have some documents here \hthat were stolen from me
which are of vital importance \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hto this case.
What documents? \h\h\h\h\h\hThe original deeds
\h\h\h\hto the house on East 88th Street.
\h\hHow’d you get those? Those were under my bed.
\h\hI was led to them by a new friend. Meow.
Why?
Let me see that. Of course.
Those papers date from the time of my maternal grandmother,
Evelyn T. Valenti.
\hNot just the woman who built the house on East 88th Street,
\hbut the woman who was the founder of the New York Zoo.
GRUMPS: This is nonsense. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWhat?
This is a special deed granted by the City of New York.
\h\hIn acknowledgment to my grandmother’s contributions
to the city, and to accommodate her fascination for the animals.
JUDGE: "The house on East 88th Street is hereby granted
a special waiver to house any exotic creature as a pet."
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[CROWD GASPING] Certainly Your Honor
cannot be stupid enough \h\h\hto consider this.
Approved.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYes. [ALL CHEERING]
Your Honor, this is ridiculous.
I demand a mistrial.
This is absurd.
[LORETTA MEOWS]
Wait a second. Loretta?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHey. Loretta?
[♪]
Keep your filthy hands off of my Loretta!
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
All right, everybody, \h\h\h\h\h\hlet’s go.
Relax, we got time.
I’m gonna get the sunscreen.
Wait, wait. What’s all of this? Where...?
Hector, good morning.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWhere are you going? Get in the car, guys.
Hold on. I’ve already got Lyle \h\h\h\h\h\hover 200 bookings.
Two hundred bookings \hin New York alone.
Once we roll out a national tour,
we’re gonna be swimming \h\h\h\h\h\h\hin cash.
\h\hWe’re not going on a national tour.
We’re going on vacation. \h\h\h\h\h\h\hOn a what?
\hHave you ever even been on vacation before, Lyle?
I got you a floatie.
[LAUGHS]
That’s cute.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHECTOR: Okay, okay. Fine, fine.
We’ll do a stadium tour instead.
Fewer dates,
\hbut we’ll pack in just as many people.
Bye.
[CAR STARTS]
Bye.
Uh...
Hector?
Yes?
[HISSING]
Oh.
I’m sorry, kid, but...
Mmph.
Do it, Malfoy.
[BEATBOXING]
Does he have an agent?
He does now.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[HISSES] [GASPS]
He’s got an attitude.
Let’s go.
\hMRS. PRIMM: And we’re off.
[RAP PLAYING]
\h\h\hMR. PRIMM: Oh. How about...?
[SMOOTH JAZZ PLAYING]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOh, play Lyle’s music. Oh!
\h\h\h\h\h\h[ELTON JOHN’S "CROCODILE ROCK" PLAYING]
[LAUGHS]
Oh, oh.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hLYLE: ♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪
♪ But the biggest kick I ever got ♪
\h\h\h\h♪ Was doing a thing Called the Crocodile Rock ♪
\h\h\h\h♪ While the other kids Were rocking ’round the clock ♪
[MEOWS] Hey, Loretta.
♪ We were hopping and bopping To the Crocodile Rock, yeah ♪
\h\h\h\h♪ Croc Rocking Is something shocking ♪
♪ When your feet ♪ \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[MUMBLING]
♪ Just can’t keep still ♪
♪ I never knew me a better time And I guess I never will ♪
\h\h♪ Oh, Lordy, mama Those Friday nights ♪
\h♪ When Susie wore Her dresses tight ♪
♪ Crocodile Rocking \hWas out of sight ♪
[ALL LAUGHING]
♪ Heartbeat ♪
\h\h\h\h♪ It speeds up Whenever you want me ♪
\h\h\h\h\h♪ What you got I want it like all week ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h♪ I need that I wanna be wherever you are ♪
♪ Wherever you are ♪
♪ Heartbeat it speeds up \hWhenever you want me ♪
\h\h\h\h\h♪ What you got I want it like all week ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h♪ I need that I wanna be wherever you are ♪
♪ Wherever you are ♪
♪ Twenty minutes Till I’m home ♪
♪ And tell me all the ways \hYou wanna make this go ♪
♪ I can’t get enough now \h\h\h\hIt’s official ♪
♪ If you want a lot \hAnd not a little ♪
♪ If we keep it us \hIt’s so simple ♪
♪ Wherever you are Wherever you are ♪
♪ Heartbeat it speeds up \hWhenever you want me ♪
\h\h\h\h\h♪ What you got I want it like all week ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h♪ I need that I wanna be wherever you are ♪
♪ Wherever you are ♪
♪ Heartbeat it speeds up \hWhenever you want me ♪
\h\h\h\h\h♪ What you got I want it like all week ♪
♪ All week, yeah, yeah ♪ \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h♪ I need that ♪
♪ I wanna be wherever you are \h\h\h\h\hWherever you are ♪
♪ Na-na-na, na-na \hNa-na-na, na ♪
♪ Na-na-na, na-na \h\hNa-na-na, na ♪
♪ Wherever you are, wherever ♪
♪ Na-na-na, na-na \hNa-na-na, na ♪
♪ Yeah, na-na-na, na-na \h\h\h\hNa-na-na, na ♪
♪ Wherever you are Wherever you are ♪
♪ Heartbeat it speeds up \hWhenever you want me ♪
\h\h\h\h\h♪ What you got I want it like all week ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h♪ I need that I wanna be wherever you are ♪
♪ Wherever you are ♪
♪ Heartbeat it speeds up \hWhenever you want me ♪
\h\h\h\h\h♪ What you got I want it like all week ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h♪ I need that I wanna be wherever you are ♪
♪ Wherever you are ♪
♪ Heartbeat ♪
♪ What you got I want it like ♪
♪ All week ♪
♪ What you got I want it like ♪
♪ All week ♪
♪ Wherever you are Wherever you are ♪
[♪]