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(grand orchestral fanfare
playing)
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Hey, everyone,
it's Bobby Leiber,
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and welcome to
your favorite podcast,
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The 11th Brick at Stonewall.
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Because we all know
a butch lesbian
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or a trans woman of color
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probably threw the first brick
at Stonewall,
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but it was a cis, white, gay
man who threw the 11th brick.
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And today, as always,
I will take you on a journey
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throughout LGBTQ+ history
and, much more importantly,
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00:00:45,345 --> 00:00:48,081
my own problems and whatever
I feel like talking about.
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And this is a big day,
because, as of today,
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The 11th Brick is celebrating
one million subscribers.
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And in honor of
all this exciting news,
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I am taking your questions live.
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-First question.
-FEMALE CALLER: Hi, Bobby.
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Any chance for
more children's books?
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Oh, not at the moment,
but thank you.
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As some of you know, I wrote
a series of children's books
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to help parents teach kids
about gay history,
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which no one bought.
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Turns out a four-year-old
didn't want to hear
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a bedtime story about
Martina Navratilova.
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Hey, parents, thanks for
teaching your kids about
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Santa Claus, a straight man
that doesn't exist,
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and not Martina Navratilova,
a lesbian who does.
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In other news, I finally got
the footage from my audition
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to be part of the next cast
of Queer Eye,
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and you can watch that
on the app right now.
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(hosts gasping)
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-Oh, no.
-Oh, my...
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(hosts crying)
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I'm sorry. This is not sad.
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It's just not sad.
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You gave him a haircut
and a pair of pants.
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I mean, he looks fine.
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-Not great.
-Next caller.
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MALE CALLER: What ever happened
to that movie you wrote?
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Oh, yeah. The movie.
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These big movie producers
came to me and said,
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"We want you to write a rom-com
about a gay couple.
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"Something the whole world
would enjoy.
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"Something that a straight guy
might even like
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and watch with his girlfriend."
I said,
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"Something a straight guy
might like? Like what exactly?
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"Am I gonna be in the middle
of some high-speed chase,
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"and then all of a sudden
fall in love with Ice Cube?
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"Am I gonna get butt-fucked
by Jason Momoa
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while we're both, I don't know,
worrying about a volcano?"
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And he said, "Bobby,
we just want to make a movie
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"that shows the world
gay and straight relationships
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"are the same.
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Love is love is love."
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I said, "Love is love is love?
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"No, it's not. That's bullshit.
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"That is a lie we had to
make up to convince you idiots
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"to finally treat us fairly.
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"Love is not love.
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"Our relationships
are different.
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Our sex lives are different."
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And he said, "Bobby,
we were just trying to make
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a nice movie
about nice gay people."
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And I said, "Well,
there's your first mistake,
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because not all gay people
are nice."
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And I got up and left.
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Anyway, it's totally fine.
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I'm not the right person
to write a rom-com anyway.
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MALE CALLER:
Why not?
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Um, I don't know.
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I mean, I'm 40 years old.
I've never been in love.
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I've never even had a serious
relationship, which is fine.
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You know, I love my life.
I love my freedom.
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I love my independence,
but, (chuckles) you know,
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probably means
I'm not the right person
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to write a love story.
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In exciting news,
I remain very horny,
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and tonight I am being honored
at the LGBTQ+ Pride Awards.
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-(applause)
-(band playing fanfare)
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Being in the NFL, I never
thought I could come out.
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For years, I had to suffer
as a hot, ripped, gay person,
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living my life in private.
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But this last year
has really shown me
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how amazing life can be when
you are finally publicly hot.
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-(cheering, applause)
-(fanfare playing)
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Thank you.
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ANNOUNCER (over speakers):
And now, please welcome
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Emmy and Tony Award winner
Kristin Chenoweth.
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Good evening.
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What an honor for me
to be here tonight.
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On my head is a hat
depicting the Stonewall riots,
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where the queer liberation
movement began.
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And now, the award for cis,
white, gay man of the year.
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Please welcome Bobby Leiber.
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-(cheering, applause)
-Thank you.
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Oh, my goodness.
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Thank you, New York! Thank you!
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Thank you.
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Meet Khnumhotep and Niankhkhnum,
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the Bert and Ernie
of Ancient Egypt.
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Many scholars believe
that they are
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the first recorded
same-sex couple in history.
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Yet to this day,
there are historians
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who refuse to believe
that these men were lovers
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and insist that
they were brothers instead.
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Thus began 5,000 years
of queer love stories
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erased from the history books.
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No gay love stories
to teach us about love
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and how to love each other.
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Well, I'm happy to say
this erasure ends today.
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And I am thrilled to announce
I have accepted a position
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as the executive director
of the first
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national LGBTQ+ history museum,
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-right here in New York City!
-(cheering, applause)
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Thank you, New York!
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Thank you.
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Thank you so much.
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MAN:
Hey, what's up?
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BOBBY:
Hey, what's up?
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MAN:
Looking? Into?
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BOBBY:
Bottom here.
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Versatile.
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Sure you are.
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(doorbell rings)
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-Hey, what's up?
-Hey, what's up?
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(sighs)
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(heavy breathing)
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(moaning, panting)
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(moaning intensifies)
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(panting slows)
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Thank you.
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You want to finish?
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Uh, I think I'm good, actually.
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-Okay, I'll get you
something for that. -Yeah.
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Thanks.
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♪ It's very clear ♪
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♪ Our love is here to stay... ♪
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BOBBY:
For me, the cold and awkward
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Grindr hookup
is often followed by
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a walk around the city
by myself.
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Anyone else do that?
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It's weird,
because you still had,
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like, this romantic encounter.
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Even though it was odd
or unsatisfying
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and you don't even know
the person,
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you're still feeling
this kind of
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post-sex warmth and wistfulness.
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So I usually
walk around for a bit
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and I kind of coast
on that warm feeling
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as long as it lasts.
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And between the weird sex with
strangers that you don't like
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and conversations
with friends you love
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that you would never
have sex with, you know,
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you cobble together a version
of a romantic single life.
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And it's good, you know?
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It works.
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It's a lot more than
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what a lot of other people
have in this world.
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And you try to remember that.
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♪ Going a long, long way... ♪
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As always, this podcast is
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brought to you by Career Donkey.
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(donkey braying)
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(lively chatter)
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Hi, hi. I'm sorry.
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-(cheering)
-I-I know. I'm sorry.
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All right, what's going on?
What did I miss?
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How are you guys, Lucas?
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Uh, well, our surrogate
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just hit three months, and,
not only that, but we are...
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-Having triplets! -Trip...
-(cheering, laughter)
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-Oh, my God, congratulations!
-That's amazing. Yeah!
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I'm sorry, you guys.
I have to go.
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A late shift at the bar.
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But it was great
meeting you guys.
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-LUCAS: Nice to meet you.
-And congratulations, boys.
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-LUCAS: Thank you.
-Bye, Marty.
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-See you later. Text us.
-Bye, y'all.
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Wait, so what's happening?
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Didn't you guys have
an announcement?
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Okay, uh, so, I totally know
this is a little weird
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and unexpected,
but the reason we've been
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hanging around with Marty
so much is that
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we are kind of dating him.
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-Oh.
-Okay.
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Wait a second.
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-Wait, wait, wait.
-(laughter)
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What do you mean
you're dating him?
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I mean, together,
like, as a couple.
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We're seeing him.
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I guess it's kind of like
a throuple situation.
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-(laughter)
-BOBBY: Hold on.
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So, wait, what does
that mean exactly?
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Like, are you guys just having
threesomes or something?
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Well, we hooked up,
but then we started spending
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a bunch of time together after.
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It turns out
we have a lot in common.
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It's more than just sex.
We genuinely like each other.
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-(laughs) -Wait, wait. So, how
long has this been going on?
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-Six months?
-Oh.
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00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:58,606
Six mon-- You're in a throuple
for six months
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and you didn't tell me?
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We didn't know
it'd get that serious.
203
00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:03,210
How serious is it gonna get?
You're in a throuple.
204
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What are you gonna do next,
tell your grandparents?
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Hi, Grandma.
206
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,149
Oh, hi, honey.
207
00:09:08,182 --> 00:09:10,751
-I have some news.
-Yes?
208
00:09:10,785 --> 00:09:12,853
Peter and I are jointly fucking
a third person!
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00:09:12,887 --> 00:09:14,255
(shouts happily)
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00:09:14,288 --> 00:09:15,956
Oh, my goodness!
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00:09:15,990 --> 00:09:17,792
It's Paul.
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00:09:17,825 --> 00:09:20,227
He and Peter are
jointly fucking someone else!
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00:09:20,261 --> 00:09:22,229
Oh, how wonderful.
It's a throuple.
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00:09:22,263 --> 00:09:23,697
-Oh.
-(laughs)
215
00:09:23,731 --> 00:09:25,032
-(laughter)
-We'll be fine.
216
00:09:25,066 --> 00:09:27,068
We really trust each other
enough to do this.
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00:09:27,101 --> 00:09:28,235
BOBBY:
Just be careful.
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00:09:28,269 --> 00:09:29,270
I know a lot of guys
who've done this,
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00:09:29,303 --> 00:09:30,805
and it's a slippery slope.
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00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:32,073
These things are fragile,
and, you know, we're men.
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00:09:32,106 --> 00:09:34,942
Okay? Men dating men.
Love is not love.
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00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:37,745
We are horny and selfish
and stupid. I am, too.
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Yeah, someone called into my
show the other day and asked me
224
00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:41,949
why I'm still single.
I said, "You want to know why?
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"Because I've been gay
my whole life,
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and I don't trust
these gay motherfuckers."
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00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:47,688
I support them,
but I don't trust them.
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00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:50,224
-And are you happy?
-Who's so happy all the time?
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Uh, a lot of people.
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Well, I really don't trust
those people.
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-(laughter)
-Mr. Leiber?
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Sorry. I love your podcast.
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00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:58,265
-Can I, can I get a selfie?
-Oh, sure.
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00:09:58,299 --> 00:09:59,967
(camera clicks)
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00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,235
Thank you.
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00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:02,803
-(phone dings)
-Mm-hmm. -BOBBY: Shit.
237
00:10:02,837 --> 00:10:04,705
I told Henry I'd meet him
at this launch party.
238
00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:07,141
Ugh, I wanted to go home
and change first.
239
00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:09,376
Aren't you guys just gonna take
your shirts off anyway?
240
00:10:09,410 --> 00:10:11,712
No, we're not just gonna
take our shirts off.
241
00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:13,214
It's not 2003.
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00:10:13,247 --> 00:10:15,983
You have a very clichéd view
of what gay men do at a party.
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00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:18,652
("We All Move Together"
playing loudly)
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00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:24,758
♪ We all move together... ♪
245
00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:26,727
What app is this for again?
246
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:29,263
It's this new hookup app
my company is launching.
247
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,098
We've got Grindr.
We've got Tinder.
248
00:10:31,132 --> 00:10:32,766
This is Zellweger.
249
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,368
It's for gay guys who just want
to talk about actresses
250
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:36,337
-then go to bed.
-Oh, I'd use that.
251
00:10:36,370 --> 00:10:39,140
Bobby, I had sex
with a 65-year-old.
252
00:10:39,173 --> 00:10:40,741
Sixty-five?
253
00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:42,743
He didn't have an age
on his profile.
254
00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:45,412
He was really nice,
he had an amazing body,
255
00:10:45,446 --> 00:10:47,248
but he had this, like,
big, white beard.
256
00:10:47,281 --> 00:10:49,016
I felt like Mrs. Claus.
257
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:50,751
I kind of love that.
258
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:52,920
There's that guy Aaron.
259
00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:57,258
♪ Together, together, together ♪
260
00:10:57,291 --> 00:10:59,160
♪ We all move together ♪
261
00:10:59,193 --> 00:11:01,061
♪ Together, together ♪
262
00:11:01,095 --> 00:11:02,329
♪ We all move... ♪
263
00:11:02,363 --> 00:11:04,165
Oh, yeah, I don't know
who that is.
264
00:11:04,198 --> 00:11:06,167
He's at the gym sometimes.
265
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:08,335
Very hot. Very boring.
266
00:11:08,369 --> 00:11:10,771
-Oh, what else is new?
-Oh.
267
00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:14,308
Also, today I had sex
with a guy who peed on me.
268
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:15,776
Oh, are you into that?
269
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:17,144
Not really,
but what else was I doing?
270
00:11:17,178 --> 00:11:18,212
Fair enough.
271
00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:19,780
It was honestly kind of boring.
272
00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:22,116
Hey, what's up?
273
00:11:22,149 --> 00:11:23,951
Hey.
274
00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:25,986
-Well, hello, Aaron.
-Hey.
275
00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:26,954
This is Bobby.
276
00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:28,822
Do you boys need another drink?
277
00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:30,991
-I'm getting a shitrocket.
-What the hell's a shitrocket?
278
00:11:31,025 --> 00:11:32,960
It's like a Red Bull
but with protein.
279
00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:33,894
Oh.
280
00:11:33,928 --> 00:11:35,930
Shitrocket and vodka, I guess.
281
00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:38,065
Move, boys. Daddy needs a drink.
282
00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:39,833
Thank you.
283
00:11:45,039 --> 00:11:46,106
(Aaron sighs)
284
00:11:47,208 --> 00:11:48,475
You look angry.
285
00:11:48,510 --> 00:11:50,110
Me?
286
00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:51,312
Well, I'm not.
287
00:11:51,345 --> 00:11:52,980
That's just the way I look.
288
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:55,082
I know. People always come up
to me and tell me that,
289
00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:57,117
but I'm not.
290
00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:58,687
I'm not angry.
291
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,121
I listen to your podcast.
292
00:12:01,155 --> 00:12:02,456
Oh, really?
293
00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:04,058
Oh, that's cool.
294
00:12:06,260 --> 00:12:07,761
I hear you're boring.
295
00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:09,463
Who said that? I'm not boring.
296
00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:11,232
I don't know.
297
00:12:11,265 --> 00:12:12,399
A lot of people.
298
00:12:12,433 --> 00:12:14,101
Cool.
299
00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:18,105
I'm sorry. That was mean.
300
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,175
I'm very bad at flirting.
301
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,811
And I'm also the type of person
who tells you I'm flirting,
302
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:25,513
which is so sexy.
303
00:12:25,547 --> 00:12:27,348
It's okay.
304
00:12:28,449 --> 00:12:30,851
What do you do?
305
00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:32,520
Uh, for work?
306
00:12:32,554 --> 00:12:34,922
I do probate law.
I'm an estate planner.
307
00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:36,524
Basically, I write
people's wills.
308
00:12:36,558 --> 00:12:38,560
-Do you like it?
-Oh, sure.
309
00:12:38,593 --> 00:12:40,562
When I was a kid,
first thing I would think
310
00:12:40,595 --> 00:12:42,096
when I would meet someone is,
"Who's that person
311
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:44,198
gonna leave their shit to
when they die?"
312
00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:48,202
I really wanted to be part of
the legal logistics of that.
313
00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:49,870
(laughs)
314
00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:51,272
That's funny.
315
00:12:51,305 --> 00:12:53,941
("Heartbreaker/If You Should
Ever Be Lonely" playing)
316
00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:55,809
That guy's hot, right?
317
00:12:56,611 --> 00:12:59,013
BOBBY:
Oh, yeah. He is.
318
00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:02,783
I'm supposed to fuck him
and his husband later.
319
00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:06,487
Cool.
320
00:13:06,521 --> 00:13:09,156
Very good.
321
00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:12,493
-Oh, I love this song.
-What is this?
322
00:13:12,527 --> 00:13:14,228
Old-school Mariah.
323
00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:16,397
How do you not know this?
324
00:13:16,430 --> 00:13:18,432
I'm more of a country guy.
325
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,200
You know, like Garth Brooks.
326
00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:22,436
Garth Brooks?
327
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,104
Who are you?
328
00:13:24,138 --> 00:13:26,974
♪ I don't wanna let go
and although I should ♪
329
00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:29,910
♪ I can't leave you alone
'cause... ♪
330
00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:32,846
Actually, Carrie Underwood
blocked me on Twitter...
331
00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:36,383
♪ And I cannot resist... ♪
332
00:13:36,417 --> 00:13:37,885
What the fuck?
333
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:40,354
-Where the fuck did he go?
-I don't know.
334
00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:41,989
This is why I hate these people.
335
00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:44,358
Oh, my God.
That's the 65-year-old.
336
00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:46,260
BOBBY:
Jesus, he's ripped.
337
00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:49,631
I know. It's like they injected
steroids into Dumbledore.
338
00:13:49,664 --> 00:13:50,632
(laughs)
339
00:13:50,665 --> 00:13:53,100
(dance music continues)
340
00:13:58,205 --> 00:14:00,407
Hey, what's up?
341
00:14:00,441 --> 00:14:01,643
-Thanks.
-Hey.
342
00:14:01,676 --> 00:14:03,477
Where'd you go?
343
00:14:03,511 --> 00:14:05,112
I don't know. Nowhere.
344
00:14:08,916 --> 00:14:10,585
Yas, live your lives, queens!
345
00:14:10,618 --> 00:14:12,419
Okurrr. (laughs)
346
00:14:13,688 --> 00:14:16,256
Gay guys are so stupid.
347
00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:17,891
Oh, my God, I know.
348
00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:20,094
Gay guys are usually, like,
the absolute smartest
349
00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:23,063
or, like, the dumbest people
I've ever met.
350
00:14:23,097 --> 00:14:24,532
We've been smart enough
to brand ourselves
351
00:14:24,566 --> 00:14:25,567
as being smart and clever.
352
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:27,101
I've hooked up with guys,
353
00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:28,503
and afterwards I'll make a joke
354
00:14:28,536 --> 00:14:30,337
or I'll say something sarcastic.
355
00:14:30,371 --> 00:14:32,940
And the guy does not understand
that I'm making a joke.
356
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:35,677
Literally does not
understand satire.
357
00:14:35,710 --> 00:14:37,111
I know.
358
00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:39,113
And straight people think
we're all smart,
359
00:14:39,146 --> 00:14:42,116
-but a lot of these guys
are dumb as shit. -Yes.
360
00:14:43,718 --> 00:14:45,285
It's our little secret.
361
00:14:48,690 --> 00:14:51,258
♪ ♪
362
00:14:57,331 --> 00:14:58,899
Actually...
363
00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:03,237
Are you fucking kidding me?
364
00:15:05,272 --> 00:15:06,541
-Hey.
-Hey, what were you talking
365
00:15:06,574 --> 00:15:08,142
to Aaron about for so long?
366
00:15:08,175 --> 00:15:09,209
Just about how a lot of gay guys
367
00:15:09,243 --> 00:15:10,678
are secretly incredibly stupid.
368
00:15:10,712 --> 00:15:12,212
-Oh, how fabulous.
-I don't understand.
369
00:15:12,246 --> 00:15:14,181
We're having a good time,
and then he ghosts me.
370
00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:16,450
He just fucking disappears.
371
00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:22,289
Bobby, don't. Let it go.
He's a dick.
372
00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:25,025
No, I am not letting it go.
I do not let things go.
373
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:26,694
-Why aren't you dancing?
-I am dancing, okay?
374
00:15:26,728 --> 00:15:29,263
What do you want me to do,
the fucking Nutcracker Suite?
375
00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:30,464
(laughs)
376
00:15:30,497 --> 00:15:32,399
Hey.
377
00:15:32,433 --> 00:15:33,568
Hey, what's up?
378
00:15:33,601 --> 00:15:35,102
I tried to kiss you
379
00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:36,036
and you didn't kiss me back
is what's up.
380
00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:37,605
I'm sorry. I'm shy.
381
00:15:37,639 --> 00:15:39,239
Please. What are you into?
382
00:15:39,273 --> 00:15:41,241
One of these boring,
ripped idiots with no opinions?
383
00:15:41,275 --> 00:15:44,011
No, I'd like someone
who's physically very frail
384
00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:46,013
and won't stop talking.
385
00:15:53,688 --> 00:15:55,723
Come home with me.
386
00:15:55,757 --> 00:15:57,559
I can't. (sighs)
387
00:15:57,592 --> 00:15:59,259
Why?
388
00:15:59,293 --> 00:16:01,261
'Cause you have to fuck
the fake baseball player
389
00:16:01,295 --> 00:16:02,196
and his husband?
390
00:16:02,229 --> 00:16:05,132
-I don't know what to tell you.
-(scoffs)
391
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,167
-Goodbye.
-Hey, wait, wait.
392
00:16:07,201 --> 00:16:08,670
-Take my number.
-Absolutely not.
393
00:16:08,703 --> 00:16:10,070
Why?
394
00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:11,706
'Cause I'm one of
the smart ones, asshole.
395
00:16:11,739 --> 00:16:13,741
Oh, are you
emotionally unavailable?
396
00:16:13,775 --> 00:16:16,009
No one's more emotionally
unavailable than me.
397
00:16:16,043 --> 00:16:18,111
No one. I pride myself on that.
398
00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:19,413
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
399
00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:20,615
Henry has my number.
400
00:16:20,648 --> 00:16:22,249
See you on Grindr or Zellweger
401
00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:24,017
or whatever the fuck
the next one is.
402
00:16:24,051 --> 00:16:25,520
I'm not on any of those.
403
00:16:25,553 --> 00:16:27,522
Then how do you meet people?
404
00:16:28,523 --> 00:16:30,257
I'm not really looking.
405
00:16:31,325 --> 00:16:33,026
Yeah.
406
00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:35,128
Me neither.
407
00:16:37,665 --> 00:16:39,767
Excuse me. Excuse me.
408
00:16:39,801 --> 00:16:41,201
-Excuse me.
-(cheering, excited chatter)
409
00:16:41,235 --> 00:16:42,504
Oh, my God,
they cannot stop voguing.
410
00:16:42,537 --> 00:16:43,771
-They cannot stop voguing!
-(whooping)
411
00:16:43,805 --> 00:16:45,507
Excuse me.
412
00:16:45,540 --> 00:16:47,775
I know you're voguing, but
can I please go home? Please?!
413
00:16:47,809 --> 00:16:50,143
-(gasps)
-JOE FOX: I had a gut feeling
414
00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:51,513
you would be online now.
415
00:16:51,546 --> 00:16:53,113
Hi.
416
00:16:53,146 --> 00:16:55,517
(phone chimes)
417
00:16:55,550 --> 00:16:57,785
MAN:
Hey, what's up?
418
00:16:57,819 --> 00:17:00,287
BOBBY:
Not much. You?
419
00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:03,056
(over TV):
No.
420
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:05,225
BOBBY: But us texting
each other anonymously.
421
00:17:05,259 --> 00:17:06,794
I never realized
how much Grindr was
422
00:17:06,828 --> 00:17:09,096
just like You've Got Mail.
Smiley face.
423
00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:11,164
MAN:
Ha ha. LOL. Dick pic?
424
00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:13,300
BOBBY:
No dick pic. Sorry.
425
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,302
Think about You've Got Mail.
426
00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:17,471
Meg Ryan would never send you
a picture of her genitalia.
427
00:17:17,505 --> 00:17:20,173
MAN: Ha ha.
LOLOL. Can I see your ass?
428
00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:22,476
BOBBY:
Don't have ass pic. Sorry.
429
00:17:22,510 --> 00:17:24,244
MAN:
Need to see ass pic, though.
430
00:17:24,278 --> 00:17:25,345
BOBBY:
Don't have ass pic!
431
00:17:25,379 --> 00:17:26,581
MAN:
Not gonna meet up
432
00:17:26,614 --> 00:17:28,482
unless you send ass pic.
433
00:17:28,516 --> 00:17:30,818
Must see pic of ass!
434
00:17:30,852 --> 00:17:32,152
(phone chimes)
435
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:33,688
(groans loudly)
436
00:17:33,721 --> 00:17:35,690
(sighs deeply)
437
00:17:35,723 --> 00:17:38,392
♪ ♪
438
00:17:47,535 --> 00:17:48,503
Ow!
439
00:17:48,536 --> 00:17:50,572
Fuck!
440
00:17:50,605 --> 00:17:51,806
(scoffs) I'm bleeding!
441
00:17:51,839 --> 00:17:53,440
How am I gonna shit now?
442
00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:55,810
(scoffs)
I can't fuck. I can't shit.
443
00:17:55,843 --> 00:17:58,345
I'm not a person, goddamn it!
444
00:18:02,617 --> 00:18:04,652
It's too fucking flat.
445
00:18:12,594 --> 00:18:14,461
(camera clicks)
446
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:18,465
BOBBY:
Took this just for you, bro.
447
00:18:19,901 --> 00:18:21,869
(sighs)
448
00:18:21,903 --> 00:18:23,403
(low beep)
449
00:18:23,437 --> 00:18:24,505
Did he block me?
450
00:18:24,539 --> 00:18:26,674
Motherfucker!
451
00:18:26,708 --> 00:18:28,342
ANNOUNCER (over TV):
Hallheart proudly presents
452
00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:30,612
our first bisexual holiday film,
453
00:18:30,645 --> 00:18:34,414
the award-winning
Christmas with Either.
454
00:18:34,448 --> 00:18:36,884
Hallheart.
Always on the cutting edge...
455
00:18:36,918 --> 00:18:39,621
of Christmas.
456
00:18:39,654 --> 00:18:40,788
(overlapping chatter)
457
00:18:40,822 --> 00:18:43,390
BOBBY:
People. Okay.
458
00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:44,759
-Okay, people!
-(chatter quiets)
459
00:18:44,792 --> 00:18:46,360
People, please!
It's getting late.
460
00:18:46,393 --> 00:18:48,195
We still need to find
a donor to fund
461
00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:49,697
the exhibit in the final wing.
462
00:18:49,731 --> 00:18:51,633
As you know, Pier 1 Imports
was supposed to make
463
00:18:51,666 --> 00:18:53,300
a big donation,
but they went bankrupt
464
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:54,769
and have been
bought by the Taliban.
465
00:18:54,802 --> 00:18:55,870
Taliban.
466
00:18:55,903 --> 00:18:58,405
So, we are short $5 million.
467
00:18:58,438 --> 00:19:00,240
We cannot afford
to push our opening again.
468
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:01,475
People will think
we're in trouble.
469
00:19:01,509 --> 00:19:03,310
Maybe this whole place
could fall apart.
470
00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:04,879
We need new ideas for
what goes in the final wing,
471
00:19:04,912 --> 00:19:06,246
and we need them now.
472
00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:07,515
-Cherry, go.
-You know the blue whale
473
00:19:07,548 --> 00:19:09,249
hanging in
the Museum of Natural History?
474
00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:10,952
-Yes.
-What about that,
475
00:19:10,985 --> 00:19:15,255
but instead of the blue whale,
it's a lesbian?
476
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:17,224
-TAMARA: Oh, no. Uh-uh.
-BOBBY: Yeah, okay.
477
00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:18,726
-Well, yeah, we can't do that.
-No.
478
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,796
What about a transgender woman
from an Indigenous nation?
479
00:19:21,829 --> 00:19:22,864
CHERRY:
Goddamn it, Wanda!
480
00:19:22,897 --> 00:19:24,966
What about the 400 lesbians
481
00:19:24,999 --> 00:19:26,534
who fought in the Civil War?
482
00:19:26,567 --> 00:19:28,670
Shut up, Cherry.
They were not all lesbians.
483
00:19:28,703 --> 00:19:30,203
Some of them were trans men.
484
00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:32,272
Okay, stop.
This building is a rare chance
485
00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:35,677
to legitimize
the history of bisexuals.
486
00:19:35,710 --> 00:19:36,778
Oh, God. Here we go.
487
00:19:36,811 --> 00:19:39,312
Yes! We say "LGBTQ,"
488
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:40,782
but we always skip over the "B."
489
00:19:40,815 --> 00:19:43,417
I want a hall of bisexuals,
490
00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:45,285
like Disney's
Hall of Presidents.
491
00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:49,557
I want a stage full of
animatronic, talking bisexuals.
492
00:19:49,590 --> 00:19:51,859
Talking and moving
and gesturing bisexuals.
493
00:19:51,893 --> 00:19:53,360
You know what?
494
00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:55,830
This happens to be
Bisexual Awareness Week,
495
00:19:55,863 --> 00:19:58,866
and no one has acknowledged it!
496
00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:01,468
-I acknowledged.
-That is true. My bad.
497
00:20:01,502 --> 00:20:04,005
Lesbian History Month
was in March.
498
00:20:04,038 --> 00:20:05,973
Nobody said a goddamn thing!
499
00:20:06,007 --> 00:20:07,675
It's June!
500
00:20:07,709 --> 00:20:09,242
It was in March!
501
00:20:09,276 --> 00:20:11,679
Of course lesbians get a month
and we get a week.
502
00:20:11,713 --> 00:20:13,413
-Robert.
-What?
503
00:20:13,447 --> 00:20:15,315
I want you to know
that I hear you.
504
00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:17,384
I see you,
and I'm holding space for you.
505
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,486
There she go. There she go.
506
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:21,421
She never has
any ideas of her own,
507
00:20:21,455 --> 00:20:23,891
but she's always
"holding space."
508
00:20:23,925 --> 00:20:26,326
A lesbian wrote
"America the Beautiful."
509
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:28,462
-God, no. I can't.
-Katharine Lee Bates
510
00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:29,931
wrote the lyrics on a napkin.
511
00:20:29,964 --> 00:20:34,301
If you go to her house in
Virginia, they have the napkin!
512
00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:35,970
TAMARA:
What if the final exhibit was
513
00:20:36,003 --> 00:20:38,472
a recreation of a queer wedding?
514
00:20:38,506 --> 00:20:40,373
-I like that.
-Okay, that I don't hate.
515
00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:42,476
Tamara, that is so sweet.
516
00:20:42,510 --> 00:20:43,745
I love that. And people can
517
00:20:43,778 --> 00:20:45,378
come and register
for wedding gifts here.
518
00:20:45,412 --> 00:20:46,681
TAMARA:
I'm gonna write that down.
519
00:20:46,714 --> 00:20:47,749
Oh, my God, and-- No!
520
00:20:47,782 --> 00:20:48,883
That is old-fashioned,
521
00:20:48,916 --> 00:20:50,417
heteronormative nonsense.
522
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:51,619
We need to get people
to rethink history
523
00:20:51,652 --> 00:20:53,621
through a queer prism,
not comfort them
524
00:20:53,654 --> 00:20:55,556
with another
fucking gay wedding, all right?
525
00:20:55,590 --> 00:20:57,424
It's a museum.
It's not Schitt's Creek.
526
00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:58,458
-Ooh, I like Schitt's Creek.
-But I--
527
00:20:58,492 --> 00:20:59,761
Oh, I love Schitt's Creek.
528
00:20:59,794 --> 00:21:01,495
-That show has layers.
-BOBBY: All right.
529
00:21:01,529 --> 00:21:02,764
Everyone loves Schitt's Creek.
Great. Okay.
530
00:21:02,797 --> 00:21:05,332
That's who you remind me of.
Eugene Levy.
531
00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:06,634
ANGELA (whispers):
Yes.
532
00:21:06,667 --> 00:21:09,302
Okay, Mr. Funk.
533
00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:11,371
How can I help you today?
534
00:21:11,404 --> 00:21:13,306
I need to adjust my will.
535
00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:15,042
Okay. Can I ask you why?
536
00:21:15,076 --> 00:21:16,744
Because I'm dying.
537
00:21:16,778 --> 00:21:17,979
I have cancer.
538
00:21:18,012 --> 00:21:19,514
I'm so sorry to hear that.
539
00:21:19,547 --> 00:21:22,449
I just need to figure out
where my money's going.
540
00:21:22,482 --> 00:21:25,052
Okay, uh, do you have
a partner or spouse?
541
00:21:25,086 --> 00:21:26,788
No and no.
542
00:21:26,821 --> 00:21:27,922
-Children?
-No.
543
00:21:27,955 --> 00:21:29,590
-Family member?
-No.
544
00:21:29,624 --> 00:21:32,093
-Close friend?
-Not anymore.
545
00:21:32,126 --> 00:21:34,494
Okay, um...
546
00:21:34,529 --> 00:21:36,764
well, uh, sometimes it helps
to close your eyes
547
00:21:36,798 --> 00:21:40,501
and think about who means
the most to you in the world.
548
00:21:44,906 --> 00:21:46,073
Uh, who is it?
549
00:21:46,107 --> 00:21:48,075
Cher.
550
00:21:48,109 --> 00:21:53,080
Okay, so you want
to leave $100,000...
551
00:21:53,114 --> 00:21:54,549
to Cher?
552
00:21:55,516 --> 00:21:57,384
Do you really think
that she needs that?
553
00:21:57,417 --> 00:21:59,554
She has a huge staff.
554
00:21:59,587 --> 00:22:00,822
-Uh, okay.
-(door opens)
555
00:22:00,855 --> 00:22:02,422
WOMAN: Mr. Shepard, uh--
Sorry to interrupt.
556
00:22:02,455 --> 00:22:05,425
Mrs. Bailey passed away.
557
00:22:06,661 --> 00:22:09,130
Oh, God, this is so depressing.
558
00:22:09,163 --> 00:22:10,665
I'm so sorry.
559
00:22:10,698 --> 00:22:11,966
I can only imagine
what you're going through.
560
00:22:11,999 --> 00:22:14,035
No, I mean your job.
561
00:22:14,068 --> 00:22:15,603
What a downer.
562
00:22:17,839 --> 00:22:19,540
(phone dings)
563
00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:22,777
AARON:
It's Aaron. How's Grindr?
564
00:22:24,545 --> 00:22:26,413
BOBBY:
A dream. I spent 45 minutes
565
00:22:26,446 --> 00:22:28,015
taking a picture of my own ass.
566
00:22:28,049 --> 00:22:29,717
How are you?
567
00:22:29,750 --> 00:22:31,552
How was group sex
with that faux Chicago Cub?
568
00:22:31,586 --> 00:22:33,588
AARON: It was fun.
They invited me back tomorrow.
569
00:22:33,621 --> 00:22:35,122
Their surrogate is pregnant,
570
00:22:35,156 --> 00:22:36,557
and they're having
a gender reveal orgy.
571
00:22:36,591 --> 00:22:38,125
BOBBY:
A gender reveal orgy?
572
00:22:38,159 --> 00:22:40,127
James Baldwin would be so proud.
573
00:22:40,161 --> 00:22:41,762
(laughs)
574
00:22:44,665 --> 00:22:46,634
AARON:
LOL. I woke up laughing about
575
00:22:46,667 --> 00:22:48,870
you so rudely calling me out
on my shit.
576
00:22:48,903 --> 00:22:50,538
BOBBY:
Well, you deserved it, bitch.
577
00:22:50,571 --> 00:22:52,073
Honestly, I was impressed.
578
00:22:52,106 --> 00:22:53,941
You may be more emotionally
unavailable than I am.
579
00:22:53,975 --> 00:22:55,442
AARON:
Well, maybe we can be
580
00:22:55,475 --> 00:22:56,577
emotionally unavailable
together.
581
00:22:56,611 --> 00:22:58,012
BOBBY:
"Maybe we can be
582
00:22:58,045 --> 00:22:59,547
emotionally unavailable
together"?
583
00:22:59,580 --> 00:23:01,481
Who's writing your texts?
Maroon 5?
584
00:23:01,515 --> 00:23:03,184
-AARON: Fuck off.
-BOBBY: Kidding!
585
00:23:03,217 --> 00:23:05,186
We can go out.
Are you asking me out?
586
00:23:05,219 --> 00:23:07,121
-AARON: I'm down for whatever.
-Yeah, same.
587
00:23:07,154 --> 00:23:08,789
-Cool.
-Sounds good.
588
00:23:08,823 --> 00:23:10,591
AARON: So, tomorrow?
Or we can do whatever.
589
00:23:10,625 --> 00:23:12,492
BOBBY: Yeah, I can do
whenever, and I can do whatever.
590
00:23:12,526 --> 00:23:13,961
-AARON: I don't care
what we do. -Yeah, me neither.
591
00:23:13,995 --> 00:23:15,930
We can do whatever,
and we can do it whenever.
592
00:23:15,963 --> 00:23:18,065
-Does that work for you?
-Yeah, that definitely works.
593
00:23:18,099 --> 00:23:19,734
BOBBY:
Great. Whatever, whenever.
594
00:23:19,767 --> 00:23:21,035
AARON:
Cool. Whatever, whenever.
595
00:23:21,068 --> 00:23:22,770
GIF of Michael Scott dancing.
596
00:23:22,803 --> 00:23:23,771
He's good.
597
00:23:23,804 --> 00:23:24,805
Office GIF?
598
00:23:24,839 --> 00:23:26,173
This person isn't gay.
599
00:23:26,207 --> 00:23:27,808
Heart. Ugh, no.
600
00:23:27,842 --> 00:23:29,110
Un-heart. Thumbs up.
601
00:23:29,143 --> 00:23:31,779
-AARON: Peace.
-Peace?
602
00:23:31,812 --> 00:23:32,914
BOBBY:
Later.
603
00:23:33,948 --> 00:23:35,750
Can you heart my "later," bitch?
604
00:23:35,783 --> 00:23:37,018
Bye.
605
00:23:42,489 --> 00:23:43,691
You're from here, right?
606
00:23:43,724 --> 00:23:45,192
Your parents still live
in the city?
607
00:23:45,226 --> 00:23:47,662
No. My parents
both passed away actually.
608
00:23:47,695 --> 00:23:49,997
-Oh, I'm sorry.
-Oh, yeah. Thanks.
609
00:23:50,031 --> 00:23:51,198
It wasn't recent.
610
00:23:51,232 --> 00:23:52,667
My mom died
when I was in college,
611
00:23:52,700 --> 00:23:55,036
and my dad died
like ten years ago.
612
00:23:55,069 --> 00:23:56,537
A bee! A bee! A bee!
613
00:23:56,570 --> 00:23:57,772
-A bee! A bee! A bee!
-Whoa, whoa, whoa!
614
00:23:57,805 --> 00:23:59,073
Stop swatting.
You're gonna kill it.
615
00:23:59,106 --> 00:23:59,907
Well, that's what
I'm trying to do.
616
00:23:59,941 --> 00:24:01,108
It's on my neck.
617
00:24:01,142 --> 00:24:02,176
The bees are dying.
Don't you read?
618
00:24:02,209 --> 00:24:03,678
Yes, about gay stuff and movies.
619
00:24:03,711 --> 00:24:04,679
-Can you, like, do something?
-Yes.
620
00:24:04,712 --> 00:24:05,813
Yes, yes, yes, yes. Here it is.
621
00:24:05,846 --> 00:24:07,782
-You're touching the bee!
-I know.
622
00:24:07,815 --> 00:24:09,617
Okay.
623
00:24:10,885 --> 00:24:13,087
Wow. Thank you.
624
00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:14,956
You're like
a grown-up gay Boy Scout,
625
00:24:14,989 --> 00:24:18,559
and I'm like whatever ends up
happening to Evan Hansen.
626
00:24:18,592 --> 00:24:20,962
Let me see what's playing.
627
00:24:22,563 --> 00:24:24,497
What's your favorite movie
of all time?
628
00:24:24,532 --> 00:24:26,233
What's my favorite movie
of all time?
629
00:24:26,267 --> 00:24:27,501
I don't know.
630
00:24:27,535 --> 00:24:29,136
Why? What's your favorite movie?
631
00:24:29,170 --> 00:24:30,838
The Hangover.
632
00:24:30,871 --> 00:24:33,841
The Hangover is your favorite
movie of all time?
633
00:24:33,874 --> 00:24:35,743
How many movies have you seen?
One?
634
00:24:35,776 --> 00:24:37,878
-It's a funny movie.
-Yeah, kinda.
635
00:24:37,912 --> 00:24:40,281
And you remember one of
the first lines of that movie?
636
00:24:40,314 --> 00:24:42,116
"Paging Dr. Faggot."
637
00:24:42,149 --> 00:24:43,617
-Remember that?
-Yes.
638
00:24:43,651 --> 00:24:45,252
"Paging Dr. Faggot"
is one of the first lines
639
00:24:45,286 --> 00:24:47,121
of the highest-grossing comedy
of 2009,
640
00:24:47,154 --> 00:24:48,556
and-and no one talks about it.
641
00:24:48,589 --> 00:24:50,124
Right?
And it wasn't that long ago.
642
00:24:50,157 --> 00:24:51,892
You know, we're just supposed
to, like, laugh it off.
643
00:24:51,926 --> 00:24:54,762
It doesn't bother me.
I'm not sensitive like that.
644
00:24:54,795 --> 00:24:56,697
I think you just like
getting angry at things.
645
00:24:56,731 --> 00:24:58,699
Getting angry at things
is, like, your brand.
646
00:24:58,733 --> 00:25:01,569
What?! No, it's not! Fuck you!
647
00:25:01,602 --> 00:25:03,137
Getting angry at things
is my brand?
648
00:25:03,170 --> 00:25:04,605
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
649
00:25:04,638 --> 00:25:05,873
You just don't like
to complain about it
650
00:25:05,906 --> 00:25:07,274
because that means
your feelings were hurt,
651
00:25:07,308 --> 00:25:08,609
and that means
admitting you're weak.
652
00:25:08,642 --> 00:25:09,877
And that's too vulnerable.
653
00:25:09,910 --> 00:25:11,645
And as much as
we go around saying
654
00:25:11,679 --> 00:25:13,247
men should be vulnerable,
you and I both know
655
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:14,648
that is such bullshit.
656
00:25:14,682 --> 00:25:16,083
Because for
a lot of these gay guys,
657
00:25:16,117 --> 00:25:18,619
sweetness and vulnerability
are wonderful and lovely,
658
00:25:18,652 --> 00:25:20,788
but they can also be
a real boner killer.
659
00:25:22,156 --> 00:25:24,058
You're very intense.
660
00:25:24,091 --> 00:25:25,626
Yes.
661
00:25:26,327 --> 00:25:28,662
-I was kidding, by the way.
-About what?
662
00:25:28,696 --> 00:25:31,565
The Hangover.
It's not my favorite movie.
663
00:25:31,599 --> 00:25:33,334
-No, you weren't.
-Yeah, I was.
664
00:25:33,367 --> 00:25:35,703
I just like seeing you
get riled up.
665
00:25:35,736 --> 00:25:38,773
-I don't believe you.
-I was kidding.
666
00:25:40,341 --> 00:25:42,043
Hmm.
667
00:25:42,076 --> 00:25:43,911
I don't like this.
668
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:49,917
Okay.
Let's see what we have here.
669
00:25:49,950 --> 00:25:51,152
Mm-hmm.
670
00:25:51,185 --> 00:25:52,720
Oh, The Treasure Inside
671
00:25:52,753 --> 00:25:54,088
is supposed to be
really good, actually.
672
00:25:54,121 --> 00:25:55,623
AARON:
What's that about?
673
00:25:55,656 --> 00:25:56,924
It's about
two closeted gay frontiersmen
674
00:25:56,957 --> 00:25:59,760
in the California Gold Rush
of 1849.
675
00:25:59,794 --> 00:26:01,729
But really it's about two
straight actors playing gay,
676
00:26:01,762 --> 00:26:03,064
trying to win an Oscar.
677
00:26:03,097 --> 00:26:05,800
I never tire of watching
two very straight actors
678
00:26:05,833 --> 00:26:08,002
really transform themselves
into being sad and gay.
679
00:26:08,035 --> 00:26:10,704
Gay actors playing gay--
that's not even acting.
680
00:26:10,738 --> 00:26:12,006
Oh, I totally agree.
681
00:26:12,039 --> 00:26:13,774
If they ever make a movie
about my life,
682
00:26:13,808 --> 00:26:15,309
they better hire
a straight actor.
683
00:26:15,342 --> 00:26:17,044
I like to think of
my life story as
684
00:26:17,078 --> 00:26:19,280
just another way for Benedict
Cumberbatch to really score.
685
00:26:19,313 --> 00:26:22,683
Okay, if we don't see this
movie, what are we gonna do?
686
00:26:22,716 --> 00:26:24,685
Well, I didn't say
I didn't want to see the movie.
687
00:26:24,718 --> 00:26:26,153
-Oh.
-I'll see the fucking movie.
688
00:26:26,187 --> 00:26:29,023
I'm dying to.
689
00:26:29,056 --> 00:26:31,759
I'd put it way above
Call Me by Your Name
690
00:26:31,792 --> 00:26:34,195
but sort of below Dallas Buyers.
691
00:26:34,228 --> 00:26:35,796
Well, it got me in the end.
692
00:26:35,830 --> 00:26:37,798
Yeah, but why does it always
have to be so tragic?
693
00:26:37,832 --> 00:26:40,267
I don't know.
Philadelphia, Milk, Brokeback.
694
00:26:40,301 --> 00:26:41,902
Happy endings don't win Oscars.
695
00:26:41,936 --> 00:26:44,205
Straight people love
seeing us miserable.
696
00:26:44,238 --> 00:26:46,373
-Mm.
-JOSH: Wait, Aaron Shepard?
697
00:26:46,407 --> 00:26:48,142
-(chuckles)
-AARON: Josh Evans?
698
00:26:48,175 --> 00:26:51,112
-Holy shit! What is up, dude?
-Hey, man. Bro!
699
00:26:51,145 --> 00:26:53,114
-Nice to see you.
-It's been for-fucking-ever.
700
00:26:53,147 --> 00:26:54,882
Aaron and I-- we played hockey
in high school.
701
00:26:54,915 --> 00:26:56,383
This is my fiancée Samantha.
702
00:26:56,417 --> 00:26:58,219
-Hey. Nice to meet you.
-Hey. (chuckles)
703
00:26:58,252 --> 00:26:59,854
Uh, this is, uh, Bobby.
704
00:26:59,887 --> 00:27:00,921
-Hey.
-JOSH: Hey.
705
00:27:00,955 --> 00:27:02,323
We just saw The Treasure Inside.
706
00:27:02,356 --> 00:27:04,191
It's about
closeted gay frontiersmen.
707
00:27:04,225 --> 00:27:05,759
Oh. Okay. Nice.
708
00:27:05,793 --> 00:27:07,828
(stammers) It's just,
like, some dumb movie.
709
00:27:07,862 --> 00:27:09,330
SAMANTHA:
Oh, wait. I want to see that.
710
00:27:09,363 --> 00:27:11,065
Gay guys are my jam.
711
00:27:11,098 --> 00:27:12,666
-Hmm.
-(chuckles)
712
00:27:12,700 --> 00:27:14,235
So what are you guys doing here?
713
00:27:14,268 --> 00:27:15,736
Just a little trip.
714
00:27:15,769 --> 00:27:17,104
It's her first time
in New York City.
715
00:27:17,138 --> 00:27:18,172
This city is sick.
716
00:27:18,205 --> 00:27:20,941
-It really is.
-Yeah.
717
00:27:20,975 --> 00:27:22,409
Well... awesome.
718
00:27:22,443 --> 00:27:23,777
-Yeah.
-Uh, nice to meet you, Bob.
719
00:27:23,811 --> 00:27:25,279
BOBBY:
Nice to meet you guys.
720
00:27:25,312 --> 00:27:26,847
That is crazy.
721
00:27:26,881 --> 00:27:29,283
I never run into anybody
from my hometown.
722
00:27:29,316 --> 00:27:30,885
Oh, yeah, bro. Totally, bro.
723
00:27:30,918 --> 00:27:33,420
Just some dumb movie, bro.
724
00:27:33,454 --> 00:27:35,422
I had the biggest crush on him
in high school.
725
00:27:35,456 --> 00:27:37,424
Yep. That tracks.
726
00:27:38,392 --> 00:27:41,829
Well, like the bearded lady
in The Greatest Showman,
727
00:27:41,862 --> 00:27:44,198
-this is me.
-(phone dings)
728
00:27:45,232 --> 00:27:46,867
Oh.
729
00:27:47,868 --> 00:27:49,403
The faux Chicago Cub?
730
00:27:49,436 --> 00:27:51,305
Yeah. His husband
just sent me that.
731
00:27:51,338 --> 00:27:54,308
Wow. They are extremely hot.
732
00:27:54,341 --> 00:27:56,710
Yeah, Mike and Doug-- they're
these roided-out meatheads.
733
00:27:56,744 --> 00:27:58,879
They're not the brightest,
but they're really sweet.
734
00:27:59,747 --> 00:28:00,981
Do you want to go over there?
735
00:28:01,015 --> 00:28:02,783
Wait. Are you ditching me again
736
00:28:02,816 --> 00:28:04,919
to go fuck the baseball
cosplayer and his husband?
737
00:28:04,952 --> 00:28:07,254
No, I'm not ditching you.
I'm inviting you.
738
00:28:07,288 --> 00:28:08,822
(chuckles)
739
00:28:08,856 --> 00:28:10,457
Why don't you
just come upstairs?
740
00:28:10,491 --> 00:28:14,195
Ah, I don't really do the whole
relationship thing very well.
741
00:28:14,228 --> 00:28:16,063
Relationship?
742
00:28:16,096 --> 00:28:19,266
When did I say I wanted to be
in a relationship with you?
743
00:28:19,300 --> 00:28:21,202
We literally hung out one day.
744
00:28:21,235 --> 00:28:22,469
Yeah, but if I go upstairs,
745
00:28:22,504 --> 00:28:24,471
it becomes, like,
a whole thing and...
746
00:28:24,506 --> 00:28:26,106
Whatever.
We should just go over there.
747
00:28:26,140 --> 00:28:27,341
It'll be fun.
748
00:28:27,374 --> 00:28:28,742
I'm not gonna go,
but you should go.
749
00:28:28,776 --> 00:28:30,110
Can I ask you one thing, though?
750
00:28:30,144 --> 00:28:32,079
Why did you text me
if you didn't want to hook up?
751
00:28:32,112 --> 00:28:34,481
I'm not angry.
I'm just honestly curious.
752
00:28:34,516 --> 00:28:37,851
I didn't say
I didn't want to-- I...
753
00:28:38,986 --> 00:28:40,988
I guess I had fun
talking to you at the club,
754
00:28:41,021 --> 00:28:43,490
and I wanted to say,
"Hey, what's up?"
755
00:28:43,525 --> 00:28:45,192
"Hey, what's up?"
756
00:28:45,226 --> 00:28:47,061
So, basically you texted me
when you were feeling hungover
757
00:28:47,094 --> 00:28:49,363
and lonely in that moment,
but you're not actually into me,
758
00:28:49,396 --> 00:28:50,831
but you went on the date anyway.
759
00:28:50,864 --> 00:28:53,000
Why are gay guys so weird?
760
00:28:53,033 --> 00:28:55,903
Actually, you know,
we're not weird.
761
00:28:55,936 --> 00:28:57,972
We're just constantly catering
to our own whims and needs,
762
00:28:58,005 --> 00:29:00,140
which can change on a dime,
but we never even think about
763
00:29:00,174 --> 00:29:02,142
the emotional consequences
of the other person.
764
00:29:02,176 --> 00:29:06,046
Anyway, it's been a blast
catering to your whims.
765
00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:08,983
And, honestly, I can't
really say anything about it
766
00:29:09,016 --> 00:29:11,352
because I do the same thing
to people all the time, so...
767
00:29:11,385 --> 00:29:13,521
(inhales deeply)
768
00:29:13,555 --> 00:29:16,090
-Fun day. And, um...
-Fun day.
769
00:29:16,123 --> 00:29:18,259
-Yeah.
-Have fun with those guys.
770
00:29:18,292 --> 00:29:20,327
Okay. Bye.
771
00:29:20,361 --> 00:29:22,564
("Dreaming with a Broken Heart"
by John Mayer playing)
772
00:29:22,597 --> 00:29:24,131
Bobby, wait.
773
00:29:28,603 --> 00:29:33,040
♪ When you're dreaming
with a broken heart... ♪
774
00:29:33,073 --> 00:29:35,109
I had a really nice time today.
775
00:29:35,142 --> 00:29:36,076
Me, too.
776
00:29:36,110 --> 00:29:38,178
I never go on dates,
but that was really fun.
777
00:29:38,212 --> 00:29:41,048
Yeah.
I had a really good time, too.
778
00:29:43,350 --> 00:29:45,386
(moaning)
779
00:29:52,192 --> 00:29:53,961
Hey, I'm gonna go.
780
00:29:53,994 --> 00:29:56,030
(gasps) Oh, really?
781
00:29:56,063 --> 00:29:57,131
Yeah.
782
00:29:57,164 --> 00:29:58,600
Is everything okay?
Is this weird?
783
00:29:58,633 --> 00:30:00,568
Oh, no, no, no.
No, it's fun. It's great.
784
00:30:00,602 --> 00:30:02,036
I just-- I'm just gonna go.
785
00:30:02,069 --> 00:30:03,904
-Okay.
-Okay. I'll see you.
786
00:30:03,937 --> 00:30:05,406
-Okay. Bye.
-Okay.
787
00:30:05,439 --> 00:30:06,874
Bye.
788
00:30:06,907 --> 00:30:08,309
Hey, guys, I'm gonna go.
Thank you so much.
789
00:30:08,342 --> 00:30:10,177
-No. You're leaving?
-Yeah, I got to go.
790
00:30:10,210 --> 00:30:11,613
All right, man.
It was nice meeting you.
791
00:30:11,646 --> 00:30:13,180
-Yeah, you, too. It was lovely.
-Yeah.
792
00:30:13,213 --> 00:30:15,115
-Thank you.
-All right. Good night.
793
00:30:15,149 --> 00:30:16,350
Okay. Okay.
794
00:30:17,885 --> 00:30:19,453
Thanks for coming.
We're convinced Brian's gay,
795
00:30:19,486 --> 00:30:21,589
and I think it's good for him
to have his gay uncle around.
796
00:30:21,623 --> 00:30:23,257
Oh, my God. Of course.
797
00:30:23,290 --> 00:30:25,159
I'm always here to be a good
"guncle" to my "g-nephew."
798
00:30:25,192 --> 00:30:27,629
-Aw. -Uncle Bobby,
will you read my report?
799
00:30:27,662 --> 00:30:29,129
It's about Freddie Mercury.
800
00:30:29,163 --> 00:30:30,998
He's obsessed with
Bohemian Rhapsody.
801
00:30:31,031 --> 00:30:32,466
Oh, my God, I love this.
802
00:30:32,499 --> 00:30:34,234
And like that movie,
does your report take a story
803
00:30:34,268 --> 00:30:35,936
about one of the great
gay icons and make it about
804
00:30:35,969 --> 00:30:37,971
that one time
he maybe had sex with a woman?
805
00:30:38,005 --> 00:30:39,306
I thought Freddie Mercury
was bi.
806
00:30:39,340 --> 00:30:40,642
He had a wife.
807
00:30:40,675 --> 00:30:42,276
Yeah, well, so did Jesus,
and he was gay.
808
00:30:42,309 --> 00:30:44,278
This is excellent
and an improvement on the film.
809
00:30:44,311 --> 00:30:45,312
Good job!
810
00:30:45,346 --> 00:30:46,648
(phone whooshes)
811
00:30:46,681 --> 00:30:48,650
What are those GIFs
from The Hangover?
812
00:30:48,683 --> 00:30:50,217
Nothing.
813
00:30:50,250 --> 00:30:52,252
This guy I went out with
won't stop texting me.
814
00:30:52,286 --> 00:30:54,221
A guy? Really?
815
00:30:54,254 --> 00:30:56,023
-Like a Grindr guy?
-No, shockingly.
816
00:30:56,056 --> 00:30:58,092
I actually met this one
in real life.
817
00:30:58,125 --> 00:30:59,527
Bobby!
818
00:30:59,561 --> 00:31:00,961
That's fantastic!
819
00:31:00,994 --> 00:31:02,162
You think you're gonna
see him again?
820
00:31:02,196 --> 00:31:04,231
No. He told me
he prefers group sex
821
00:31:04,264 --> 00:31:06,568
to one-on-one because
one-on-one is too intense
822
00:31:06,601 --> 00:31:08,168
and makes it a whole thing.
823
00:31:08,202 --> 00:31:10,237
We went on one date, and
we had sex with three people.
824
00:31:10,270 --> 00:31:12,039
Gay relationships these days
are like a clown car.
825
00:31:12,072 --> 00:31:14,441
Oh, there's another one.
Oh, look, another one.
826
00:31:14,475 --> 00:31:16,310
Oh, another one?
It's ridiculous.
827
00:31:16,343 --> 00:31:18,011
Plus, I don't think
I'm his type.
828
00:31:18,045 --> 00:31:19,913
-How do you know?
-Because I know.
829
00:31:19,947 --> 00:31:21,382
He told me
he likes country music
830
00:31:21,415 --> 00:31:23,651
and his favorite singer
is Garth Brooks.
831
00:31:23,685 --> 00:31:25,018
What kind of gay man says
832
00:31:25,052 --> 00:31:26,353
his favorite singer
is Garth Brooks?
833
00:31:26,387 --> 00:31:27,388
That scares me.
834
00:31:27,421 --> 00:31:28,523
Plus, I see the guys he likes.
835
00:31:28,556 --> 00:31:30,257
They all look exactly like him.
836
00:31:30,290 --> 00:31:34,228
They're all these, like, big,
hot, straight-acting dudes.
837
00:31:34,261 --> 00:31:35,129
It's just not me.
838
00:31:35,162 --> 00:31:36,598
Well, is he a top or bottom?
839
00:31:36,631 --> 00:31:38,232
What does that
have to do with anything?
840
00:31:38,265 --> 00:31:39,567
Maybe you're both bottoms,
and that's the problem.
841
00:31:39,601 --> 00:31:42,202
I'm not always
the bottom, Edgar.
842
00:31:42,236 --> 00:31:43,538
Bottom dance!
843
00:31:43,571 --> 00:31:45,072
-Ooh, bottom dance!
-EDGAR: Yeah!
844
00:31:45,105 --> 00:31:47,408
(Tina and Edgar scatting)
845
00:31:47,441 --> 00:31:48,543
BOBBY:
Oh, my God.
846
00:31:48,576 --> 00:31:50,144
Gay sex was more fun
847
00:31:50,177 --> 00:31:52,012
when straight people
were uncomfortable with it.
848
00:31:52,045 --> 00:31:53,247
Fucking Schitt's Creek.
849
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:54,549
Maybe we should
stop talking about
850
00:31:54,582 --> 00:31:56,150
anal sex
in front of your children.
851
00:31:56,183 --> 00:31:58,252
-Nah. -Oh, please.
It's a natural part of life.
852
00:31:58,285 --> 00:32:00,287
Bobby, ask him out again.
You never like anyone.
853
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:02,089
He is so handsome.
854
00:32:02,122 --> 00:32:04,391
-So are you.
-Y-You're a hottie.
855
00:32:04,425 --> 00:32:07,127
He is, like, on another level.
He's like gay Tom Brady.
856
00:32:07,161 --> 00:32:09,163
When I'm with him,
I feel like friggin' Elphaba.
857
00:32:09,196 --> 00:32:11,165
I bet he's as intimidated
by you as you are by him.
858
00:32:11,198 --> 00:32:13,167
-Oh, yeah.
-I'm telling you.
859
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:14,468
He's just scared
of being vulnerable.
860
00:32:14,502 --> 00:32:16,069
Gay guys from your generation
861
00:32:16,103 --> 00:32:18,038
still have all these
pent-up masculinity issues,
862
00:32:18,071 --> 00:32:19,440
and you all just need
to get over it already.
863
00:32:19,473 --> 00:32:21,676
Half the kids in Brian's class
are nonbinary.
864
00:32:21,709 --> 00:32:23,010
Well, it's not fair, Tina.
865
00:32:23,043 --> 00:32:24,646
We had AIDS, and they had Glee.
866
00:32:24,679 --> 00:32:25,680
(chuckles)
867
00:32:25,713 --> 00:32:27,615
But there is a work thing
868
00:32:27,649 --> 00:32:29,183
I was thinking of
maybe inviting him to.
869
00:32:29,216 --> 00:32:31,185
-Maybe.
-EDGAR: What, a work thing?
870
00:32:31,218 --> 00:32:33,721
With lots of celebrities
and fancy people?
871
00:32:33,755 --> 00:32:36,023
Now, are you gonna peacock
to impress him?
872
00:32:36,056 --> 00:32:37,357
No. It's just a big fundraiser
873
00:32:37,391 --> 00:32:38,992
for the museum,
and I need to bring someone.
874
00:32:39,026 --> 00:32:40,728
Are you gonna be onstage?
875
00:32:40,762 --> 00:32:43,063
No, I am not going to be
onstage, okay?
876
00:32:43,096 --> 00:32:45,399
I am not some sort of
narcissistic sociopath.
877
00:32:45,432 --> 00:32:48,268
-Thank you, Doja Cat.
-(cheering, applause)
878
00:32:49,403 --> 00:32:52,740
Everyone, there are
rock paintings in Zimbabwe
879
00:32:52,774 --> 00:32:54,241
which depict homosexuality
880
00:32:54,274 --> 00:32:57,277
that date back to the year
2000 BCE.
881
00:32:57,311 --> 00:32:59,213
If only the men
on those paintings
882
00:32:59,246 --> 00:33:02,282
had lived another 4,000 years
to see a character come out
883
00:33:02,316 --> 00:33:04,619
on It's Always Sunny
in Philadelphia.
884
00:33:04,652 --> 00:33:06,688
-(light laughter)
-Who did your chin?
885
00:33:06,721 --> 00:33:08,288
Oh, no. It's real.
886
00:33:08,322 --> 00:33:09,691
(scoffs) Yeah.
887
00:33:09,724 --> 00:33:11,291
Mine, too.
888
00:33:11,325 --> 00:33:14,127
Please continue to
give generously so the museum
889
00:33:14,161 --> 00:33:15,797
can tell all the stories
in between
890
00:33:15,830 --> 00:33:17,231
that have never been told.
891
00:33:17,264 --> 00:33:19,601
Thank you very much. Good night.
892
00:33:19,634 --> 00:33:22,002
(cheering, applause)
893
00:33:23,136 --> 00:33:24,772
Hey, I'm so sorry
I left you alone.
894
00:33:24,806 --> 00:33:26,273
-Things got a little crazy.
-No.
895
00:33:26,306 --> 00:33:28,141
Hey, dude, you-you were,
you were awesome.
896
00:33:28,175 --> 00:33:29,611
I mean, I could never do that,
897
00:33:29,644 --> 00:33:31,378
-speaking in front of a bunch
of people like that. -Oh.
898
00:33:31,411 --> 00:33:32,647
You move in
some pretty fancy circles.
899
00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:34,214
I had no idea.
900
00:33:34,248 --> 00:33:36,083
Oh, trust me,
it's not always this glamorous.
901
00:33:36,116 --> 00:33:39,086
-Bobby, that was amazing,
as always. -Oh.
902
00:33:39,119 --> 00:33:40,420
-Thank you, Charles.
-Congrats on everything.
903
00:33:40,454 --> 00:33:42,055
Thank you so much.
Thank you for coming.
904
00:33:42,089 --> 00:33:43,156
Thank you.
905
00:33:43,190 --> 00:33:44,626
WOMAN:
Great speech, Bobby.
906
00:33:44,659 --> 00:33:46,093
Thank you so much.
907
00:33:46,126 --> 00:33:47,394
Hey, do you want to see
the museum?
908
00:33:47,427 --> 00:33:49,229
-I can give you a private tour.
-Oh, sure.
909
00:33:49,263 --> 00:33:50,598
I-I don't want to drag you
away from all this, though.
910
00:33:50,632 --> 00:33:51,766
Oh, no, it's fine.
911
00:33:51,799 --> 00:33:52,800
-Here. That way.
-(chuckles): Okay.
912
00:33:52,834 --> 00:33:54,368
This is The Legends Pavilion.
913
00:33:54,401 --> 00:33:57,705
Unsung heroes
from LGBTQ+ history.
914
00:33:57,739 --> 00:34:00,675
Marsha P. Johnson
and Sylvia Rivera.
915
00:34:00,708 --> 00:34:02,309
Usually, Stonewall
is the only thing
916
00:34:02,342 --> 00:34:04,378
straight people know
about queer history.
917
00:34:04,411 --> 00:34:05,813
Truthfully, no one really knows
918
00:34:05,847 --> 00:34:07,549
who threw the first bricks
at Stonewall.
919
00:34:07,582 --> 00:34:09,817
But it was trans women of color
like Marsha and Sylvia
920
00:34:09,851 --> 00:34:12,687
who drove the earliest days of
the queer liberation movement.
921
00:34:12,720 --> 00:34:14,556
So what do you think?
922
00:34:14,589 --> 00:34:16,356
It's pretty incredible, right?
923
00:34:16,390 --> 00:34:19,493
Yeah. I mean, it's-it's-it's
really impressive.
924
00:34:19,527 --> 00:34:21,194
But?
925
00:34:21,228 --> 00:34:23,130
But it's kind of depressing.
926
00:34:23,163 --> 00:34:25,232
It's depressing?
It made you depressed?
927
00:34:25,265 --> 00:34:28,570
It's AIDS and Nazis
and homophobia.
928
00:34:28,603 --> 00:34:31,438
All of it's just--
it's kind of a downer.
929
00:34:31,471 --> 00:34:33,173
Okay.
Well, what were you expecting?
930
00:34:33,206 --> 00:34:34,776
A Night at the Museum?
931
00:34:34,809 --> 00:34:36,410
Honestly, my family
loves that movie.
932
00:34:36,443 --> 00:34:37,344
Oh, okay.
933
00:34:37,377 --> 00:34:39,146
Oh, what if you did
something like that?
934
00:34:39,179 --> 00:34:40,782
Where-where the things,
they come alive,
935
00:34:40,815 --> 00:34:42,416
and they, like, talk at you.
936
00:34:42,449 --> 00:34:45,118
"Where the things come alive,
and they talk at you"?
937
00:34:45,152 --> 00:34:46,788
-Yeah.
-Like what exactly? Oh, oh.
938
00:34:46,821 --> 00:34:48,322
What if we had, like,
939
00:34:48,355 --> 00:34:49,657
-a bust of Eleanor Roosevelt,
right? -Yeah.
940
00:34:49,691 --> 00:34:51,358
And you get really close,
and then all of a sudden,
941
00:34:51,391 --> 00:34:53,661
you realize
that's not Eleanor Roosevelt.
942
00:34:53,695 --> 00:34:55,128
It's Amy Schumer.
943
00:34:55,162 --> 00:34:56,463
-Oh.
-No!
944
00:34:56,496 --> 00:34:59,601
It's a museum.
It's not supposed to be fun.
945
00:35:00,768 --> 00:35:02,402
WANDA:
Bobby.
946
00:35:02,436 --> 00:35:04,204
We've got Debra Messing's
agent on a Zoom.
947
00:35:04,237 --> 00:35:05,673
It's urgent.
948
00:35:05,707 --> 00:35:07,875
Debra's worried that she's
on the verge of being canceled.
949
00:35:07,909 --> 00:35:09,510
She said in an interview
that she was
950
00:35:09,544 --> 00:35:11,813
the Viola Davis of Tufts,
and people are mad.
951
00:35:11,846 --> 00:35:13,514
-(chuckles)
-Her agent is saying
952
00:35:13,548 --> 00:35:15,850
that she may give a very big
donation to the museum
953
00:35:15,883 --> 00:35:16,918
to save face.
954
00:35:16,951 --> 00:35:18,853
Who's Debra Messing?
955
00:35:18,886 --> 00:35:20,588
From Will & Grace. Oh, my God.
956
00:35:20,622 --> 00:35:22,422
-WANDA: Yes.
-Okay, wait. This is amazing.
957
00:35:22,456 --> 00:35:23,891
-Yes. -Stay right here.
I'll be back in five minutes.
958
00:35:23,925 --> 00:35:26,259
-Sure. Yep.
-Let's go. -Okay.
959
00:35:33,668 --> 00:35:35,737
♪ ♪
960
00:35:51,953 --> 00:35:54,454
♪ ♪
961
00:36:05,967 --> 00:36:07,635
Aaron?
962
00:36:09,937 --> 00:36:11,539
Aaron?
963
00:36:11,572 --> 00:36:13,574
(phone dings)
964
00:36:17,612 --> 00:36:19,681
What the fuck?
965
00:36:21,949 --> 00:36:24,952
-Say hi to your brother.
-Sup? -Sup?
966
00:36:24,986 --> 00:36:26,386
ANNE:
Jason's staying here
967
00:36:26,420 --> 00:36:27,689
while he figures out
where to live.
968
00:36:27,722 --> 00:36:29,389
Never get divorced, Aaron.
969
00:36:29,423 --> 00:36:31,291
-JASON: Never get married.
-Okay, Mom.
970
00:36:31,324 --> 00:36:33,695
I'm sorry. I'm at work, so
I-I should probably get going.
971
00:36:33,728 --> 00:36:36,463
ANNE: (gasps) Oh,
I almost forgot to tell you.
972
00:36:36,496 --> 00:36:38,432
Do you remember Josh Evans?
973
00:36:38,465 --> 00:36:39,967
Yeah, Josh Evans
from high school.
974
00:36:40,001 --> 00:36:41,903
I actually ran into him
and his fiancée
975
00:36:41,936 --> 00:36:43,437
on the street the other day.
976
00:36:43,470 --> 00:36:46,239
Well, they just broke up.
And you want to know why?
977
00:36:46,273 --> 00:36:48,375
Because he's gay.
978
00:36:49,744 --> 00:36:51,879
Josh Ev-- No.
979
00:36:51,913 --> 00:36:53,581
I'm definitely embarrassed
980
00:36:53,614 --> 00:36:55,348
about how long
this has taken me,
981
00:36:55,382 --> 00:36:58,452
but I'm told people do this
in their own time.
982
00:36:58,485 --> 00:37:01,622
I've been empowered by my hero,
Colton Underwood,
983
00:37:01,656 --> 00:37:05,593
to say that, as it turns out,
I'm gay.
984
00:37:06,594 --> 00:37:08,896
And like this post
if you like that I'm gay.
985
00:37:08,930 --> 00:37:10,898
Peace.
986
00:37:10,932 --> 00:37:13,333
Holy shit.
987
00:37:13,366 --> 00:37:16,303
So we started going
back and forth for a while,
988
00:37:16,336 --> 00:37:17,672
and then at the end,
I was just like,
989
00:37:17,705 --> 00:37:19,640
"Why don't you call the album
Lemonade?"
990
00:37:20,942 --> 00:37:22,275
(sighs)
991
00:37:22,309 --> 00:37:23,845
WANDA:
(clears throat) Bobby?
992
00:37:23,878 --> 00:37:25,278
When you're ready.
993
00:37:25,312 --> 00:37:27,648
-What?
-When you're ready.
994
00:37:27,682 --> 00:37:28,850
Sorry.
995
00:37:28,883 --> 00:37:30,752
Okay. People wonder
996
00:37:30,785 --> 00:37:33,320
if America is ready
for its first gay president.
997
00:37:33,353 --> 00:37:35,890
I say we already had one.
998
00:37:35,923 --> 00:37:37,725
For the final wing,
please consider
999
00:37:37,759 --> 00:37:41,361
The Lincoln Letters:
A Gay American Love Story.
1000
00:37:41,394 --> 00:37:42,897
For years, historians have
1001
00:37:42,930 --> 00:37:44,732
speculated about
Lincoln's sexuality.
1002
00:37:44,766 --> 00:37:47,367
He shared a bed and
exchanged intimate letters with
1003
00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:50,370
multiple men over the years,
including Joshua Speed
1004
00:37:50,403 --> 00:37:51,806
-and David Derrickson. Speed...
-Okay, I'm stopping you.
1005
00:37:51,839 --> 00:37:54,509
Bobby, it won't work.
You can't say Lincoln was gay.
1006
00:37:54,542 --> 00:37:56,911
-Why?
-There's no way to confirm
1007
00:37:56,944 --> 00:37:58,513
those were sexual relationships.
1008
00:37:58,546 --> 00:38:00,347
There's no evidence of love.
1009
00:38:00,380 --> 00:38:02,315
Well, of course there's
no evidence of love, Robert.
1010
00:38:02,349 --> 00:38:03,483
We weren't allowed to exist.
1011
00:38:03,518 --> 00:38:05,418
How would we have
enough evidence?
1012
00:38:05,452 --> 00:38:07,922
Okay, Lincoln was married to
a woman and had four children.
1013
00:38:07,955 --> 00:38:09,991
He was not gay, Bobby.
1014
00:38:10,024 --> 00:38:11,424
He might have been bi.
1015
00:38:11,458 --> 00:38:12,760
I am telling you!
1016
00:38:12,794 --> 00:38:14,796
We have let the world
erase gay love stories
1017
00:38:14,829 --> 00:38:16,063
since the beginning of time.
1018
00:38:16,097 --> 00:38:18,833
This is our chance
to reject the shame
1019
00:38:18,866 --> 00:38:20,400
and restore the truth.
1020
00:38:20,433 --> 00:38:21,836
And if we don't do this,
we're letting them win.
1021
00:38:21,869 --> 00:38:24,071
We're letting the
heterosexual terrorists win.
1022
00:38:24,105 --> 00:38:25,640
The heterosexual terrorists?
1023
00:38:25,673 --> 00:38:28,042
-That's right.
-There are also gay terrorists.
1024
00:38:28,075 --> 00:38:29,944
And there are
bi terrorists, okay?
1025
00:38:29,977 --> 00:38:32,479
There are
many bisexual terrorists.
1026
00:38:32,513 --> 00:38:33,714
Okay, there are
trans terrorists, too.
1027
00:38:33,748 --> 00:38:35,482
-Caitlyn Jenner.
-(fingers snapping)
1028
00:38:35,516 --> 00:38:37,518
Enough, people.
Let's vote on it.
1029
00:38:39,821 --> 00:38:41,122
Okay.
1030
00:38:41,155 --> 00:38:43,624
Looks like we have two votes
1031
00:38:43,658 --> 00:38:45,760
for The Great Bisexuals
of the World.
1032
00:38:45,793 --> 00:38:47,128
Thank you, someone.
1033
00:38:47,161 --> 00:38:48,563
WANDA: And three votes
for The Lincoln Letters.
1034
00:38:48,596 --> 00:38:49,997
-Lincoln wins.
-Yes!
1035
00:38:50,031 --> 00:38:52,600
-Thank you! Thank you.
-(knocking)
1036
00:38:52,633 --> 00:38:55,036
Debra Messing is
in the building.
1037
00:38:55,069 --> 00:38:56,571
(all gasp)
1038
00:38:56,604 --> 00:38:58,773
ROBERT:
Yes! My girl.
1039
00:38:58,806 --> 00:38:59,974
WANDA:
Are you okay?
1040
00:39:00,007 --> 00:39:01,075
-Yeah.
-Debra Messing.
1041
00:39:01,108 --> 00:39:02,777
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm fine.
1042
00:39:02,810 --> 00:39:05,580
Okay. Wish me luck.
1043
00:39:06,547 --> 00:39:09,650
-Miss Messing.
-Oh, please call me Debra.
1044
00:39:09,684 --> 00:39:11,118
-Oh.
-Oh.
1045
00:39:11,152 --> 00:39:12,954
I love this space.
1046
00:39:12,987 --> 00:39:14,889
How did you find it?
1047
00:39:14,922 --> 00:39:16,991
Oh, God. How did we find it?
1048
00:39:17,024 --> 00:39:19,660
Um, I don't know. I'm sorry.
1049
00:39:19,694 --> 00:39:22,063
Are you okay, dear?
You seem a little flustered.
1050
00:39:22,096 --> 00:39:23,598
-(chuckles)
-Trust me.
1051
00:39:23,631 --> 00:39:26,734
I know I'm Debra Messing,
but I'm only human.
1052
00:39:26,767 --> 00:39:28,002
(laughs) Right.
1053
00:39:28,035 --> 00:39:29,469
Um, no, I'm fine.
1054
00:39:29,503 --> 00:39:31,471
It's a-- I'm so sorry.
It's boy problems.
1055
00:39:31,505 --> 00:39:32,472
It's nothing. It's stupid.
1056
00:39:32,506 --> 00:39:34,108
-Oh.
-Yeah.
1057
00:39:34,141 --> 00:39:35,475
He was actually here last night.
1058
00:39:35,509 --> 00:39:36,744
He came to
the fundraiser with me,
1059
00:39:36,777 --> 00:39:38,579
and then out of nowhere,
he left, you know.
1060
00:39:38,613 --> 00:39:39,614
And I keep texting him,
and he doesn't text me back.
1061
00:39:39,647 --> 00:39:41,148
I don't know. It doesn't matter.
1062
00:39:41,182 --> 00:39:43,751
-How are you?
-I am so excited for this tour.
1063
00:39:43,784 --> 00:39:44,986
Can I just ask you
really quickly?
1064
00:39:45,019 --> 00:39:46,453
Because I actually think
1065
00:39:46,486 --> 00:39:48,055
you're, like,
the perfect person to ask.
1066
00:39:48,089 --> 00:39:49,590
What is going on?
1067
00:39:49,624 --> 00:39:51,424
You know, like,
is he not interested in me
1068
00:39:51,458 --> 00:39:53,160
or did something really come up?
1069
00:39:53,194 --> 00:39:54,629
And why am I
thinking about it so much?
1070
00:39:54,662 --> 00:39:56,097
That's what's so annoying.
1071
00:39:56,130 --> 00:39:58,032
You know, because I'm never
distracted like this, okay?
1072
00:39:58,065 --> 00:39:59,033
This is not who I am.
1073
00:39:59,066 --> 00:40:00,501
And it's like, what do I do now?
1074
00:40:00,534 --> 00:40:02,469
Do I text him again?
Do I call him?
1075
00:40:02,503 --> 00:40:05,039
Do I go to his house, you know?
1076
00:40:05,072 --> 00:40:07,041
What do I do, Debra?
1077
00:40:07,074 --> 00:40:09,810
You know, for the last 25 years,
1078
00:40:09,844 --> 00:40:13,180
I have been listening
to every gay man on earth
1079
00:40:13,214 --> 00:40:14,849
complain to me.
1080
00:40:14,882 --> 00:40:16,083
I am not my character.
1081
00:40:16,117 --> 00:40:18,619
I am not every gay man's
best friend.
1082
00:40:18,653 --> 00:40:21,055
I am simply out in the world,
1083
00:40:21,088 --> 00:40:25,059
thinking that I'm gonna get
a tour of a museum, but no. No!
1084
00:40:25,092 --> 00:40:28,796
Did I waltz in here
and lay all my shit on you?
1085
00:40:28,829 --> 00:40:31,933
-Answer me! Answer me!
-I'm just-- I...
1086
00:40:31,966 --> 00:40:33,067
Shut up!
1087
00:40:33,100 --> 00:40:34,669
I am a divorced single mother.
1088
00:40:34,702 --> 00:40:36,469
You want to hear
what that's like?
1089
00:40:36,504 --> 00:40:38,205
I'm so sorry about this.
I'm terribly embarrassed.
1090
00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:39,840
Please let me,
let me start again. I...
1091
00:40:39,874 --> 00:40:42,475
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wh-What's going on in here?
1092
00:40:42,510 --> 00:40:43,711
Do you have some personal shit
1093
00:40:43,744 --> 00:40:45,146
you want to complain
to me about?
1094
00:40:45,179 --> 00:40:46,847
-No.
-Of course not.
1095
00:40:46,881 --> 00:40:51,686
Because lesbians
have their shit together.
1096
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:53,955
I got to go.
I lose my sitter in an hour.
1097
00:40:53,988 --> 00:40:55,790
Miss Messing, please come back.
I'm so sorry.
1098
00:40:55,823 --> 00:40:59,927
I am not Grace!
1099
00:40:59,961 --> 00:41:01,963
It is a character.
1100
00:41:01,996 --> 00:41:04,598
I won an Emmy for it.
1101
00:41:04,632 --> 00:41:06,934
I even beat
Sarah Jessica Parker.
1102
00:41:06,968 --> 00:41:08,869
People forget!
1103
00:41:08,903 --> 00:41:10,838
-I'm shaving my head.
-(clattering)
1104
00:41:10,871 --> 00:41:12,974
What the fuck
is this doing here?
1105
00:41:13,007 --> 00:41:15,176
ANGELA: Bobby!
What is going on with you?
1106
00:41:15,209 --> 00:41:17,144
Debra Messing
just told you to fuck off.
1107
00:41:17,178 --> 00:41:18,779
The door's fucking locked.
1108
00:41:18,813 --> 00:41:21,816
-Oh, please let me help you.
-No. I want her.
1109
00:41:25,052 --> 00:41:28,723
♪ Don't call him ♪
1110
00:41:28,756 --> 00:41:32,193
♪ Don't call him,
don't call him ♪
1111
00:41:32,226 --> 00:41:35,262
♪ Do not call him ♪
1112
00:41:35,296 --> 00:41:37,631
♪ Just watch Ozark ♪
1113
00:41:37,665 --> 00:41:42,536
♪ Ozark,
like a normal person. ♪
1114
00:41:46,907 --> 00:41:48,943
(line ringing)
1115
00:41:50,277 --> 00:41:53,047
-(line clicks)
-Hey, it's me.
1116
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:56,884
Um, call me when you're around.
1117
00:41:56,917 --> 00:41:58,586
Okay, bye.
1118
00:41:59,353 --> 00:42:01,288
(phone dings)
1119
00:42:01,322 --> 00:42:03,224
AARON:
Hey, what's up?
1120
00:42:03,257 --> 00:42:04,625
BOBBY:
What's up?
1121
00:42:04,658 --> 00:42:06,227
AARON:
Sorry I haven't replied.
1122
00:42:06,260 --> 00:42:08,763
I've just been busy.
1123
00:42:08,796 --> 00:42:11,032
BOBBY:
No worries. Same.
1124
00:42:15,636 --> 00:42:17,905
You want to hang out
this weekend?
1125
00:42:19,006 --> 00:42:20,674
(sighs)
1126
00:42:24,945 --> 00:42:27,248
AARON: Hey, Bobby.
I have to be honest.
1127
00:42:27,281 --> 00:42:29,250
I really like
hanging out with you.
1128
00:42:29,283 --> 00:42:31,852
You're so smart and funny,
1129
00:42:31,886 --> 00:42:34,688
but I'm not sure
I'm the right match for you.
1130
00:42:34,722 --> 00:42:36,957
I'm not sure I'm at your level.
1131
00:42:36,991 --> 00:42:41,162
Maybe your friends were right
when they said I was boring.
1132
00:42:41,195 --> 00:42:42,797
Good luck with everything.
1133
00:42:42,830 --> 00:42:45,166
♪ ♪
1134
00:42:45,199 --> 00:42:46,700
Oh, come on.
1135
00:42:54,341 --> 00:42:55,342
(phone dings)
1136
00:42:55,376 --> 00:42:57,812
AARON:
Sure.
1137
00:43:03,651 --> 00:43:05,219
Why are you sitting on the grass
1138
00:43:05,252 --> 00:43:07,054
and not this gigantic blanket?
1139
00:43:08,989 --> 00:43:11,158
I like grass.
1140
00:43:11,192 --> 00:43:13,961
Mm. Cool. Cool.
1141
00:43:19,934 --> 00:43:22,002
So what's up?
1142
00:43:22,036 --> 00:43:24,305
-What's been going on?
-Oh, wait.
1143
00:43:24,338 --> 00:43:25,673
Crazy story.
1144
00:43:25,706 --> 00:43:27,108
Remember that guy I ran into,
1145
00:43:27,141 --> 00:43:28,375
that old buddy from high school?
1146
00:43:28,409 --> 00:43:30,845
-Yeah.
-Yeah. He just came out.
1147
00:43:30,878 --> 00:43:31,779
What?
1148
00:43:31,812 --> 00:43:33,714
Broke up with his fiancée.
I had no idea.
1149
00:43:33,747 --> 00:43:36,050
-Wow.
-Crazy.
1150
00:43:36,083 --> 00:43:37,218
-Good for him.
-Yeah.
1151
00:43:37,251 --> 00:43:39,120
That's cool.
1152
00:43:41,222 --> 00:43:43,757
Very cool.
1153
00:43:47,862 --> 00:43:49,697
Okay, I'm sorry.
What is going on?
1154
00:43:49,730 --> 00:43:52,266
-What do you mean?
-The other night.
1155
00:43:52,299 --> 00:43:53,734
Leaving me at the museum
like that.
1156
00:43:53,767 --> 00:43:55,269
And then you didn't return
any of my texts.
1157
00:43:55,302 --> 00:43:56,704
Well, you texted me
like 15 times.
1158
00:43:56,737 --> 00:43:57,905
It was a little scary.
1159
00:43:57,938 --> 00:43:59,974
Okay, I need you
to be honest with me.
1160
00:44:00,007 --> 00:44:01,742
You're not attracted
to me, right?
1161
00:44:01,775 --> 00:44:03,144
It's okay. I can handle it.
1162
00:44:03,177 --> 00:44:04,278
I won't be insulted.
1163
00:44:04,311 --> 00:44:05,846
-I just need to know.
-(sighs)
1164
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:07,281
Just be honest with me
so I don't waste my time.
1165
00:44:07,314 --> 00:44:10,317
-I'm not your type, right?
-Bobby, it's not that.
1166
00:44:10,351 --> 00:44:13,053
-You are a very attractive guy.
-Okay. Well, thanks.
1167
00:44:13,087 --> 00:44:15,923
So why are you being so weird
and passive-aggressive?
1168
00:44:15,956 --> 00:44:17,725
Look, you're being
very loud, actually.
1169
00:44:17,758 --> 00:44:19,860
-You like dumb guys.
-What?
1170
00:44:19,894 --> 00:44:22,429
Yeah, you heard me.
I see what you like.
1171
00:44:22,463 --> 00:44:25,399
You like these big,
like, fucking bro-ey,
1172
00:44:25,432 --> 00:44:27,067
like, meathead idiots.
1173
00:44:27,101 --> 00:44:30,037
(mockingly): Oh, is that
what you like, Aaron? Yeah?
1174
00:44:30,070 --> 00:44:32,439
-You want to play with
the big boys, huh? -Yep.
1175
00:44:32,473 --> 00:44:34,074
BOBBY: Oh, look, Aaron,
they're fighting.
1176
00:44:34,108 --> 00:44:36,010
-You want to be in the fight?
-Yeah, that's right.
1177
00:44:36,043 --> 00:44:37,444
You want to be back in the old
high school locker room, huh?
1178
00:44:37,478 --> 00:44:39,180
-Yeah.
-With your hockey friends,
1179
00:44:39,213 --> 00:44:42,449
like, stealing a glance
at fucking Josh, right?
1180
00:44:42,483 --> 00:44:44,018
-Huh? Yeah, you like that?
-(chuckles): Okay.
1181
00:44:44,051 --> 00:44:44,785
Hey.
1182
00:44:44,818 --> 00:44:46,387
-Yeah, I can be tough.
-Oh, wow.
1183
00:44:46,420 --> 00:44:48,055
Yeah, I can be tough
like your boys.
1184
00:44:48,088 --> 00:44:49,990
-You stop that. -Yeah.
Oh, that's what you like, huh?
1185
00:44:50,024 --> 00:44:51,258
-Oh, now you're on
my blanket, bro. -Yeah, okay.
1186
00:44:51,292 --> 00:44:52,793
Yeah, get on my blanket, bro.
1187
00:44:52,826 --> 00:44:53,928
-Oh, now I'm on your blanket.
-Oh, now you want
1188
00:44:53,961 --> 00:44:55,329
-on my big blanket?
-Yeah.
1189
00:44:55,362 --> 00:44:56,797
Now you want to be
on my big blanket?
1190
00:44:56,830 --> 00:44:58,199
I can be aggressive.
Oh, there you are.
1191
00:44:58,232 --> 00:45:00,234
-There you-- I can...
-Yeah? Yeah, yeah?
1192
00:45:00,267 --> 00:45:02,002
Hey, hey, hey! What's going on?
1193
00:45:02,036 --> 00:45:03,337
-AARON: I'm all over
your blanket. -Yeah?
1194
00:45:03,370 --> 00:45:05,005
-MAN: Boys?
-(both panting)
1195
00:45:05,839 --> 00:45:08,309
-Okay, man.
-Oh, yeah. -My bad.
1196
00:45:08,342 --> 00:45:09,810
(men chattering, laughing)
1197
00:45:09,843 --> 00:45:11,478
-My place is near here.
-Let's go the fuck home.
1198
00:45:11,513 --> 00:45:13,280
Yeah.
1199
00:45:13,314 --> 00:45:15,182
Ow! Ow. Oh, ow!
1200
00:45:15,216 --> 00:45:18,385
-Ow, ow, ow. (grunting)
-♪ When I fall in love ♪
1201
00:45:18,419 --> 00:45:20,187
Oh. Whoa, whoa!
1202
00:45:20,221 --> 00:45:21,855
Ow! Oh.
1203
00:45:21,889 --> 00:45:24,825
-♪ It will be forever... ♪
-(moaning, panting)
1204
00:45:24,858 --> 00:45:26,093
-Yeah.
-Yeah. I like that.
1205
00:45:26,126 --> 00:45:28,095
-(grunts) I like that.
-You like that?
1206
00:45:28,128 --> 00:45:29,531
-I like that.
-You're gonna take that?
1207
00:45:29,564 --> 00:45:30,998
-Yeah, that's what you like.
-(moaning)
1208
00:45:31,031 --> 00:45:32,199
Ooh, yeah.
1209
00:45:32,233 --> 00:45:34,268
Oh, yeah. Dirty. Oh, yeah.
1210
00:45:34,301 --> 00:45:36,470
(moaning)
1211
00:45:36,504 --> 00:45:38,772
-(grunting, panting)
-Oh, yeah.
1212
00:45:38,806 --> 00:45:41,008
(grunting rapidly)
1213
00:45:42,142 --> 00:45:44,178
-(pants) Oh, yeah.
-Oh, yeah? Yeah?
1214
00:45:44,211 --> 00:45:45,813
-(moaning)
-Uh-huh.
1215
00:45:45,846 --> 00:45:47,481
-Mm-hmm. You like that?
-Yeah. Yes.
1216
00:45:47,515 --> 00:45:49,383
-Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
-Yeah. Okay.
1217
00:45:49,416 --> 00:45:51,819
-Mm-hmm. Yeah.
-Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
1218
00:45:51,852 --> 00:45:54,421
-Yeah. Okay.
-(muffled grunting)
1219
00:45:54,455 --> 00:45:55,889
-Good? Yeah?
-Mm-hmm. (muffled speech)
1220
00:45:55,923 --> 00:45:57,324
-Ooh, yeah. Oh, yeah?
-(straining)
1221
00:45:57,358 --> 00:45:59,026
-You gonna tap out?
-Yeah, yeah, I'll tap out.
1222
00:45:59,059 --> 00:46:00,861
-Yeah? Oh, yeah. Yeah?
-I'll tap out.
1223
00:46:00,894 --> 00:46:02,196
-You gonna tap out? Tap out.
-I'll tap out.
1224
00:46:02,229 --> 00:46:04,064
-I tap out!
-Are you good? Are you good?
1225
00:46:04,098 --> 00:46:06,501
-I tapped out. I tapped out.
-Okay, I'm sorry. Okay.
1226
00:46:06,534 --> 00:46:08,302
(grunts)
1227
00:46:08,335 --> 00:46:09,470
Oh.
1228
00:46:09,504 --> 00:46:11,272
-Oh! Oh.
-(grunting)
1229
00:46:11,305 --> 00:46:13,541
-Great. Yeah, you like that?
-Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
1230
00:46:13,575 --> 00:46:15,309
Yeah, you like that?
Yeah, you like that?
1231
00:46:15,342 --> 00:46:18,045
-Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
-You like that? You like that?
1232
00:46:18,078 --> 00:46:19,480
-Oh, yeah. You like that?
-Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
1233
00:46:19,514 --> 00:46:20,848
-Yeah! Yeah!
-Yeah. Yeah.
1234
00:46:20,881 --> 00:46:22,249
You like poppers?
1235
00:46:22,283 --> 00:46:23,417
-Yeah.
-Okay.
1236
00:46:23,450 --> 00:46:25,786
♪ My heart ♪
1237
00:46:28,956 --> 00:46:32,026
-♪ And the moment ♪
-(sniffing)
1238
00:46:32,059 --> 00:46:35,062
♪ I can feel that ♪
1239
00:46:35,095 --> 00:46:36,297
(sighs)
1240
00:46:36,330 --> 00:46:41,268
-♪ You feel that way, too ♪
-(moaning)
1241
00:46:42,236 --> 00:46:45,205
-♪ Is when I fall in love ♪
-(grunts)
1242
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:47,074
(panting)
1243
00:46:47,107 --> 00:46:49,376
-(moaning)
-♪ With you. ♪
1244
00:46:51,345 --> 00:46:53,213
(sighs)
1245
00:46:55,916 --> 00:46:58,352
-(sighs)
-(song fades)
1246
00:46:58,385 --> 00:47:00,921
(chuckles) That was crazy.
1247
00:47:00,954 --> 00:47:03,057
(sighs):
Yeah.
1248
00:47:03,090 --> 00:47:04,626
(sighs)
1249
00:47:04,659 --> 00:47:06,327
(exhales)
1250
00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:08,128
(sighs)
1251
00:47:08,162 --> 00:47:11,231
I like how your chest
goes in like that.
1252
00:47:11,265 --> 00:47:13,601
Oh, thank you.
1253
00:47:13,635 --> 00:47:16,136
Mm, it's called a concave chest.
1254
00:47:16,170 --> 00:47:18,439
Well, I like it.
1255
00:47:18,472 --> 00:47:21,008
It's like a tiny birdbath.
1256
00:47:21,975 --> 00:47:23,377
It's like a birdbath?
1257
00:47:23,410 --> 00:47:25,346
-Mm.
-Great.
1258
00:47:25,379 --> 00:47:26,548
I always wanted my chest
1259
00:47:26,581 --> 00:47:28,182
to look exactly like
a tiny birdbath.
1260
00:47:28,215 --> 00:47:30,484
-(laughs)
-It's what every man wants.
1261
00:47:30,518 --> 00:47:32,853
(laughs)
1262
00:47:33,521 --> 00:47:35,089
I like how hairy you are.
1263
00:47:35,122 --> 00:47:37,525
You're like Austin Powers.
1264
00:47:37,559 --> 00:47:38,660
(chuckles)
1265
00:47:38,693 --> 00:47:40,361
Thank you.
1266
00:47:40,394 --> 00:47:42,162
(both chuckle softly)
1267
00:47:42,196 --> 00:47:44,264
God, I never thought
I would date someone who gets
1268
00:47:44,298 --> 00:47:48,302
more excited about Austin
Powers than Debra Messing.
1269
00:47:48,335 --> 00:47:51,004
Where did I go wrong?
1270
00:47:51,038 --> 00:47:53,273
Wait. Are-are we dating?
1271
00:47:56,176 --> 00:47:58,312
No.
1272
00:47:58,345 --> 00:48:00,347
We're not dating. Please.
1273
00:48:00,381 --> 00:48:01,949
I was joking.
1274
00:48:01,982 --> 00:48:04,284
You don't date people.
I don't date people.
1275
00:48:04,318 --> 00:48:06,387
We don't date people.
1276
00:48:07,555 --> 00:48:09,957
-Remember?
-I remember.
1277
00:48:12,660 --> 00:48:15,262
-Ow. What are you doing?
-(laughing)
1278
00:48:15,295 --> 00:48:18,999
(grunting)
1279
00:48:19,601 --> 00:48:21,435
(chuckles)
1280
00:48:22,436 --> 00:48:24,138
(sighs heavily)
1281
00:48:27,040 --> 00:48:29,143
So annoying how good
a warm body feels
1282
00:48:29,176 --> 00:48:31,945
laying on another warm body.
1283
00:48:33,313 --> 00:48:34,915
(phone dings)
1284
00:48:36,751 --> 00:48:38,919
(sighs)
1285
00:48:40,421 --> 00:48:42,956
(sighs heavily)
1286
00:48:42,990 --> 00:48:47,060
-Hmm? -I hate getting
work emails on a Sunday.
1287
00:48:48,663 --> 00:48:50,532
Your job is really intense.
1288
00:48:50,565 --> 00:48:52,933
Yes, and I hate it.
1289
00:48:53,735 --> 00:48:56,036
It's fucking stressful
and depressing
1290
00:48:56,069 --> 00:48:58,740
and so fucking boring. I-I...
1291
00:48:58,773 --> 00:49:01,543
I fucking hate it.
1292
00:49:01,576 --> 00:49:03,444
-(sighs)
-I'm sorry.
1293
00:49:03,477 --> 00:49:06,548
Was there something else
you wanted to do?
1294
00:49:08,683 --> 00:49:11,418
Bobby, I need
to tell you something.
1295
00:49:13,320 --> 00:49:14,354
(sighs)
1296
00:49:16,624 --> 00:49:19,059
When I was younger...
1297
00:49:22,262 --> 00:49:24,998
-What happened?
-I...
1298
00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:27,468
(sighs)
1299
00:49:27,502 --> 00:49:30,237
You can tell me.
1300
00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:34,475
(Aaron inhales deeply)
1301
00:49:34,509 --> 00:49:38,412
When I was younger, I wanted
to make little chocolates.
1302
00:49:41,048 --> 00:49:42,717
You wanted to make...
1303
00:49:42,750 --> 00:49:44,284
-little chocolates?
-Yes.
1304
00:49:44,318 --> 00:49:46,220
I used to tell my parents
I was going to the arcade
1305
00:49:46,253 --> 00:49:48,322
at the mall, but
I would sneak off to Godiva.
1306
00:49:48,355 --> 00:49:51,258
I just loved how all
the chocolates were wrapped.
1307
00:49:51,291 --> 00:49:53,628
And I thought about how I would
design my own chocolates,
1308
00:49:53,661 --> 00:49:55,162
how each little chocolate has
1309
00:49:55,195 --> 00:49:57,231
its own specific,
unique design on it,
1310
00:49:57,264 --> 00:49:58,533
and that little design tells you
1311
00:49:58,566 --> 00:50:00,200
what they're gonna taste like.
1312
00:50:00,234 --> 00:50:04,606
So I would draw my own
chocolates in-in a notepad.
1313
00:50:04,639 --> 00:50:06,240
It's all I thought about.
1314
00:50:06,273 --> 00:50:08,676
Tiny little pretty chocolates.
1315
00:50:08,710 --> 00:50:10,377
That's good.
1316
00:50:10,410 --> 00:50:12,514
What was I gonna do
with that, though?
1317
00:50:12,547 --> 00:50:14,414
What was I gonna be?
1318
00:50:15,717 --> 00:50:17,251
A chocolatier?
1319
00:50:17,284 --> 00:50:20,187
Bobby, I wasn't gonna be
a fucking chocolatier.
1320
00:50:20,220 --> 00:50:22,256
I don't know. Why not?
1321
00:50:22,289 --> 00:50:24,057
It seemed kind of faggy.
1322
00:50:24,091 --> 00:50:26,594
Oh, my God, Aaron.
1323
00:50:26,628 --> 00:50:27,829
Faggy?
1324
00:50:27,862 --> 00:50:29,764
It's not faggy
to spend your life
1325
00:50:29,797 --> 00:50:31,265
making pretty little chocolates.
1326
00:50:31,298 --> 00:50:33,133
-Bobby.
-Okay, fine.
1327
00:50:33,166 --> 00:50:35,135
But so what?
So you're a big fag.
1328
00:50:35,168 --> 00:50:36,436
So am I. It's great.
1329
00:50:36,470 --> 00:50:38,338
Did you not realize that
a few minutes ago
1330
00:50:38,372 --> 00:50:40,374
when you were sticking
your enormous penis
1331
00:50:40,407 --> 00:50:42,476
-into my tiny anus?
-(chuckles) Okay, yeah.
1332
00:50:42,510 --> 00:50:44,546
It-It's kind of cliché,
don't you think?
1333
00:50:44,579 --> 00:50:48,282
I'd rather be a cliché
than be miserable.
1334
00:50:48,315 --> 00:50:50,284
Well, my 15-year-old brain
in 1995--
1335
00:50:50,317 --> 00:50:52,587
that is all I thought about.
1336
00:50:53,588 --> 00:50:55,690
(sighs)
That was right around the time
1337
00:50:55,723 --> 00:50:56,824
that my brother caught me.
1338
00:50:56,858 --> 00:50:58,191
-Hooking up with a guy?
-No.
1339
00:50:58,225 --> 00:51:00,595
No, I was making
little chocolates.
1340
00:51:00,628 --> 00:51:02,462
Oh.
1341
00:51:02,496 --> 00:51:05,465
I lied, and I said
that I was... (sighs)
1342
00:51:05,499 --> 00:51:07,301
making chocolates for this girl
1343
00:51:07,334 --> 00:51:09,303
that I had a crush on at school.
1344
00:51:09,336 --> 00:51:10,437
I'm sorry.
1345
00:51:10,470 --> 00:51:12,540
This is the cutest thing
I've ever heard.
1346
00:51:12,574 --> 00:51:14,842
I guess you just have
this big, exciting life.
1347
00:51:14,876 --> 00:51:19,379
I just didn't want you to think
that I was some boring schlub.
1348
00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:22,149
I don't think you're boring.
1349
00:51:22,182 --> 00:51:23,818
Your friend said I was boring.
1350
00:51:23,851 --> 00:51:27,154
Oh, my God.
You were mad about that?
1351
00:51:27,187 --> 00:51:29,724
-I was joking. I'm sorry.
-(groans)
1352
00:51:29,757 --> 00:51:31,458
But, like, I don't understand.
1353
00:51:31,491 --> 00:51:33,528
You don't have to be stuck in
that miserable office all day.
1354
00:51:33,561 --> 00:51:36,163
You could be out in the world,
I don't know,
1355
00:51:36,196 --> 00:51:38,198
making fudge, you know?
1356
00:51:38,231 --> 00:51:40,735
You're like a Keebler elf
with internalized homophobia.
1357
00:51:40,768 --> 00:51:42,135
You have to do this.
1358
00:51:42,169 --> 00:51:43,538
You have to become
a chocolatier.
1359
00:51:43,571 --> 00:51:45,807
-Oh, Bobby. -You have to become
a chocolatier.
1360
00:51:45,840 --> 00:51:46,908
I'm telling you.
1361
00:51:46,941 --> 00:51:49,510
You make that sound so easy.
1362
00:51:49,544 --> 00:51:51,211
Well, no, it's not easy.
1363
00:51:51,244 --> 00:51:53,347
Nothing's easy.
1364
00:51:53,380 --> 00:51:55,650
My God. You know what
I have to do this weekend?
1365
00:51:55,683 --> 00:51:57,619
I have to drag my concave chest
1366
00:51:57,652 --> 00:51:59,687
up to Provincetown
and beg donors for money.
1367
00:51:59,721 --> 00:52:03,423
I need $5 million
or else the museum can't open.
1368
00:52:03,457 --> 00:52:06,226
And it's Pride up there,
so the museum has to have
1369
00:52:06,259 --> 00:52:08,195
a float in the parade,
and that's a whole thing.
1370
00:52:08,228 --> 00:52:11,264
I'm telling you, it is not easy.
1371
00:52:11,298 --> 00:52:12,667
It is never easy.
1372
00:52:15,536 --> 00:52:16,704
But it's worth it.
1373
00:52:18,238 --> 00:52:20,207
Hey, maybe I can come.
1374
00:52:21,576 --> 00:52:23,711
To where?
1375
00:52:23,745 --> 00:52:25,278
Provincetown?
1376
00:52:26,446 --> 00:52:27,615
Oh.
1377
00:52:28,616 --> 00:52:29,917
Yeah.
1378
00:52:29,951 --> 00:52:33,588
(both sigh)
1379
00:52:33,621 --> 00:52:35,690
♪ ♪
1380
00:52:37,290 --> 00:52:40,293
Come, come, come.
Welcome. I'm Louis.
1381
00:52:40,327 --> 00:52:41,896
Let me show you your bedroom.
1382
00:52:41,929 --> 00:52:43,397
Thank you. Oh, my God.
1383
00:52:43,430 --> 00:52:45,265
-This house is so beautiful.
-Oh.
1384
00:52:45,298 --> 00:52:46,701
How long have you had
this place?
1385
00:52:46,734 --> 00:52:49,804
Oh, I've been coming up
to P-town since, uh, 1976.
1386
00:52:49,837 --> 00:52:51,572
-Wow.
-Who are all these guys?
1387
00:52:51,606 --> 00:52:54,274
Oh, well, um, actually,
(chuckles) that's me.
1388
00:52:54,307 --> 00:52:56,276
BOBBY:
Oh, my God.
1389
00:52:56,309 --> 00:52:57,912
Louis, you were so hot.
1390
00:52:57,945 --> 00:52:59,681
-Yeah, I know.
-Wow.
1391
00:52:59,714 --> 00:53:01,649
Do any of these guys
still come up here, too?
1392
00:53:01,683 --> 00:53:03,283
LOUIS:
Uh, no.
1393
00:53:03,316 --> 00:53:06,721
By 1996, four of the seven
of them were gone.
1394
00:53:06,754 --> 00:53:09,991
I got this place in 1999
when I realized that somehow,
1395
00:53:10,024 --> 00:53:11,993
miraculously,
I was gonna survive.
1396
00:53:12,026 --> 00:53:13,493
Oh, I'm so sorry.
1397
00:53:13,528 --> 00:53:15,596
So, tell me.
What are you boys up to today?
1398
00:53:15,630 --> 00:53:17,965
Oh, well, I have a work thing
this afternoon,
1399
00:53:17,999 --> 00:53:19,567
so I don't really know.
1400
00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:21,669
-Probably just lay low.
-Lay low?
1401
00:53:21,703 --> 00:53:22,970
You're in P-town.
1402
00:53:23,004 --> 00:53:24,572
Go out. Have fun.
1403
00:53:24,605 --> 00:53:26,541
You'll be dead soon enough.
Come on.
1404
00:53:26,574 --> 00:53:28,943
-Let me show you to your room.
-(chuckles) All right.
1405
00:53:28,976 --> 00:53:30,310
Here's your bedroom.
1406
00:53:30,343 --> 00:53:31,979
Oh, my God!
1407
00:53:32,013 --> 00:53:34,281
AARON:
Oh, wow.
1408
00:53:34,314 --> 00:53:36,283
And if you want to fuck,
you let me know.
1409
00:53:36,818 --> 00:53:39,319
-Oh. Mm.
-Mm.
1410
00:53:39,352 --> 00:53:41,656
(shower running)
1411
00:53:41,689 --> 00:53:43,858
Hey, I need to grab something.
Oh, shit.
1412
00:53:43,891 --> 00:53:44,992
-Bobby.
-I'm sorry.
1413
00:53:45,026 --> 00:53:46,493
Why are you just
walking in here?
1414
00:53:46,527 --> 00:53:47,995
I'm sorry. I thought
you were in the shower.
1415
00:53:48,029 --> 00:53:50,464
It's not steroids.
It's just testosterone.
1416
00:53:50,497 --> 00:53:52,265
Isn't that dangerous, like,
1417
00:53:52,299 --> 00:53:53,534
for your liver and balls
and stuff?
1418
00:53:53,568 --> 00:53:55,770
No. Half the guys I know
do this stuff.
1419
00:53:55,803 --> 00:53:58,740
Yeah, but half the guys
you know are roided-out morons.
1420
00:53:58,773 --> 00:54:00,474
Yeah, well, that doesn't
seem to bother you
1421
00:54:00,508 --> 00:54:02,710
when you're obsessing
over my body.
1422
00:54:07,081 --> 00:54:08,683
Okay, that's fair.
1423
00:54:08,716 --> 00:54:10,551
Um, I'm gonna shower.
1424
00:54:10,585 --> 00:54:11,619
(shower running)
1425
00:54:11,652 --> 00:54:13,286
("She's Like the Wind"
by Patrick Swayze playing)
1426
00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:14,956
♪ She's taken my heart ♪
1427
00:54:14,989 --> 00:54:19,894
♪ But she doesn't know
what she's done ♪
1428
00:54:19,927 --> 00:54:23,898
BOBBY (singing along): ♪ I feel
her breath in my face ♪
1429
00:54:23,931 --> 00:54:27,935
♪ Her body close to me ♪
1430
00:54:27,969 --> 00:54:32,039
♪ Can't look in her eyes ♪
1431
00:54:32,073 --> 00:54:36,644
♪ She's out of my league ♪
1432
00:54:36,677 --> 00:54:41,783
♪ Just a fool to believe
I have anything she needs ♪
1433
00:54:42,950 --> 00:54:45,753
♪ She's like the wind. ♪
1434
00:54:46,554 --> 00:54:48,723
You have a really nice voice.
1435
00:54:48,756 --> 00:54:49,924
What?
1436
00:54:49,957 --> 00:54:51,324
I heard you singing
in the shower.
1437
00:54:51,358 --> 00:54:53,561
Well, that's mortifying.
1438
00:54:53,594 --> 00:54:55,563
Wait, so you're asking
this guy to donate
1439
00:54:55,596 --> 00:54:57,397
the remaining five million?
1440
00:54:57,430 --> 00:54:59,867
No. If I can get one million
out of him, I'll take it.
1441
00:54:59,901 --> 00:55:02,537
You can't scare these people
off by seeming too needy.
1442
00:55:02,570 --> 00:55:05,372
-Kind of like with you.
-(chuckles)
1443
00:55:05,405 --> 00:55:07,708
-Who's Lawrence Grape?
-Larry Grape.
1444
00:55:07,742 --> 00:55:09,710
Biggest gay TV producer
on the planet.
1445
00:55:09,744 --> 00:55:11,979
He's made all this
groundbreaking queer content.
1446
00:55:12,013 --> 00:55:13,848
He's major.
1447
00:55:13,881 --> 00:55:15,382
Mr. Grape, I'm thinking
1448
00:55:15,415 --> 00:55:16,951
the final wing
should be about Lincoln.
1449
00:55:16,984 --> 00:55:18,953
Love that. Love Lincoln.
1450
00:55:18,986 --> 00:55:20,855
Very few people know this,
1451
00:55:20,888 --> 00:55:21,989
but our most popular president
1452
00:55:22,023 --> 00:55:23,356
was also
our first gay president.
1453
00:55:23,390 --> 00:55:24,959
Sorry. This is a Lincoln museum?
1454
00:55:24,992 --> 00:55:26,761
Is this a Lincoln museum, sir?
1455
00:55:26,794 --> 00:55:29,630
This is actually
an LGBTQ history museum.
1456
00:55:29,664 --> 00:55:31,431
It's the first of its kind
on a national level.
1457
00:55:31,464 --> 00:55:32,465
We actually s...
1458
00:55:32,499 --> 00:55:34,735
That fucking bush! Come on.
1459
00:55:34,769 --> 00:55:36,469
My neighbors planted that bush,
and it blocks my view.
1460
00:55:36,504 --> 00:55:37,738
Can you believe that?
1461
00:55:37,772 --> 00:55:39,106
(dog barking)
1462
00:55:39,140 --> 00:55:40,741
Let's go take care of this.
1463
00:55:41,709 --> 00:55:42,977
Oh, again with this?
What are you doing?
1464
00:55:43,010 --> 00:55:44,145
This is on my property, Maurice!
1465
00:55:44,178 --> 00:55:45,847
This is a shared borderline!
1466
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:47,815
This is a fucking disaster.
He won't even listen to me.
1467
00:55:47,849 --> 00:55:49,650
He's too busy getting
his rottweiler ready for Pride.
1468
00:55:49,684 --> 00:55:51,819
Okay, from my experience
at my job,
1469
00:55:51,853 --> 00:55:54,088
weird rich people
just want to be listened to.
1470
00:55:54,121 --> 00:55:55,723
Ask him what he's interested in.
1471
00:55:55,756 --> 00:55:57,024
But I don't care
what he's interested in.
1472
00:55:57,058 --> 00:55:58,626
I'm here to pitch him my idea.
1473
00:55:58,659 --> 00:56:00,795
Well, then pretend like
you're interested.
1474
00:56:00,828 --> 00:56:01,996
Just do a listening face.
1475
00:56:02,029 --> 00:56:04,031
-Do a listening face?
-Yeah.
1476
00:56:04,065 --> 00:56:07,034
Hmm. Yeah.
1477
00:56:07,068 --> 00:56:09,103
-I can't. (groans)
-Yes. Come on. Go.
1478
00:56:09,136 --> 00:56:10,771
Okay.
1479
00:56:12,506 --> 00:56:13,908
-Yes. Yeah, that's good.
-Really?
1480
00:56:13,941 --> 00:56:15,076
That looked like I'm listening?
1481
00:56:15,109 --> 00:56:16,143
-Totally. Yeah.
-Oh.
1482
00:56:16,177 --> 00:56:17,678
...plant this on my property!
1483
00:56:17,712 --> 00:56:19,513
-It's an indigenous bush!
-Are you going to Pride?
1484
00:56:19,547 --> 00:56:20,715
-Of course.
-I'll see you there.
1485
00:56:20,748 --> 00:56:22,617
-Love you.
-Oh, I love you, too.
1486
00:56:22,650 --> 00:56:24,652
All right. Listening.
I'll try it. I'll try it.
1487
00:56:24,685 --> 00:56:26,053
Sorry.
I have to get going, boys.
1488
00:56:26,087 --> 00:56:27,922
Oh, Mr. Grape,
let me ask you something.
1489
00:56:27,955 --> 00:56:30,157
(smacks lips) Um...
1490
00:56:30,191 --> 00:56:35,428
what would you like to see
in the museum?
1491
00:56:36,230 --> 00:56:38,799
A haunted house
1492
00:56:38,833 --> 00:56:41,135
of gay trauma.
1493
00:56:41,168 --> 00:56:42,803
A haunted house of gay trauma?
1494
00:56:42,837 --> 00:56:45,206
Yeah. It's a cart on a track,
and there's...
1495
00:56:45,239 --> 00:56:47,440
I'm sorry. This is a ride?
1496
00:56:47,474 --> 00:56:49,476
Yeah, it's a fucking ride!
1497
00:56:49,510 --> 00:56:51,579
(chuckles): So you think
a ride is too much?
1498
00:56:52,179 --> 00:56:54,515
Um, no. N-No.
1499
00:56:54,548 --> 00:56:57,551
No, no, no, no. It's perfect.
Please, keep going.
1500
00:56:57,585 --> 00:56:59,520
Okay. We find ourselves in
1501
00:56:59,553 --> 00:57:02,924
an intimate little bar
with some young,
1502
00:57:02,957 --> 00:57:04,759
hot, animatronic men.
1503
00:57:04,792 --> 00:57:07,194
The men turn to dance with each
other when suddenly-- Boom!
1504
00:57:07,228 --> 00:57:08,495
Oh, my...
1505
00:57:08,529 --> 00:57:10,064
A cop car
smashes through the wall.
1506
00:57:10,097 --> 00:57:11,899
Police storm out of the cars.
1507
00:57:11,933 --> 00:57:14,702
There's sirens and batons
and voices screaming.
1508
00:57:14,735 --> 00:57:16,604
And suddenly, the car takes off
like a roller coaster,
1509
00:57:16,637 --> 00:57:18,072
and there's blood everywhere.
1510
00:57:18,105 --> 00:57:21,609
And a monster with Reagan's
face on it is chasing you
1511
00:57:21,642 --> 00:57:23,577
down the hallway saying,
"Shining city on a hill.
1512
00:57:23,611 --> 00:57:24,946
Shining city on a hill."
1513
00:57:24,979 --> 00:57:26,981
And then... (gasps)
we shoot out into the light.
1514
00:57:27,014 --> 00:57:28,783
And it ends on something happy
1515
00:57:28,816 --> 00:57:31,953
like Lil Nas X working out
with pink dumbbells.
1516
00:57:33,254 --> 00:57:34,956
Wow.
1517
00:57:34,989 --> 00:57:37,525
Um, a gay trauma coaster.
1518
00:57:37,558 --> 00:57:39,961
I-I mean,
it's-it's very provocative.
1519
00:57:39,994 --> 00:57:41,262
I just don't think we can afford
1520
00:57:41,295 --> 00:57:42,964
that sort of thing,
unfortunately.
1521
00:57:42,997 --> 00:57:45,199
Right. Well, okay, it was
so lovely meeting you g...
1522
00:57:45,232 --> 00:57:47,635
(stammers) Mr. Grape, Mr. Grape.
1523
00:57:47,668 --> 00:57:49,236
I'm not a creative guy.
I'm a money guy.
1524
00:57:49,270 --> 00:57:50,905
-No, no, no, no, no, no.
-I-- No, no.
1525
00:57:50,938 --> 00:57:53,574
I can tell you,
to accomplish what you want,
1526
00:57:53,607 --> 00:57:55,676
we need more than
just a little donation.
1527
00:57:55,710 --> 00:57:58,713
-No, Aaron...
-We need $5 million.
1528
00:57:58,746 --> 00:58:00,715
And you won't just get
the gay trauma coaster.
1529
00:58:00,748 --> 00:58:02,783
You get the Lincoln exhibit.
You get all of it.
1530
00:58:02,817 --> 00:58:08,823
You rewrite history
for an entire LGBTQ community.
1531
00:58:08,856 --> 00:58:13,828
You're a storyteller, Lawrence,
and this is the ultimate story.
1532
00:58:16,731 --> 00:58:18,299
You already pushed
the museum opening back twice.
1533
00:58:18,332 --> 00:58:19,867
Is it really happening?
1534
00:58:19,900 --> 00:58:21,936
Yes! It's definitely happening.
I promise.
1535
00:58:21,969 --> 00:58:24,305
My entire life
has led up to this.
1536
00:58:24,338 --> 00:58:27,608
Right, well,
$5 million is nothing
1537
00:58:27,641 --> 00:58:28,843
to rewrite history.
1538
00:58:28,876 --> 00:58:29,877
I'm in.
1539
00:58:29,910 --> 00:58:31,312
Wait, really?
1540
00:58:31,345 --> 00:58:33,781
-Yes! Yes! -Oh, my God!
Mr. Grape, thank you!
1541
00:58:33,814 --> 00:58:35,016
Of course.
1542
00:58:35,049 --> 00:58:37,651
Congratulations on my money.
Happy Pride.
1543
00:58:37,685 --> 00:58:39,220
-Happy Pride!
-Now I have to go
1544
00:58:39,253 --> 00:58:42,823
to a Pride party, and you're
both too old to be in the pool.
1545
00:58:42,857 --> 00:58:44,025
Please leave.
1546
00:58:46,360 --> 00:58:49,030
Aaron! Oh, my God!
1547
00:58:49,063 --> 00:58:50,598
(stammers) You're a genius.
1548
00:58:50,631 --> 00:58:51,932
"You're a storyteller"?
1549
00:58:51,966 --> 00:58:53,601
-Where did that even come from?
-I told you.
1550
00:58:53,634 --> 00:58:54,869
I'm good at talking
to weird rich folk.
1551
00:58:54,902 --> 00:58:56,704
I could tell
he had money to spend.
1552
00:58:56,737 --> 00:58:58,339
(laughs)
I-I don't know what to say.
1553
00:58:58,372 --> 00:58:59,740
Thank you.
1554
00:58:59,774 --> 00:59:01,175
Sure.
1555
00:59:01,208 --> 00:59:02,943
Oh, my God.
1556
00:59:02,977 --> 00:59:04,612
Oh, shit!
I got to go to the parade.
1557
00:59:04,645 --> 00:59:05,846
I got to get on
that stupid float.
1558
00:59:05,880 --> 00:59:07,948
-I'll see you after.
-Okay.
1559
00:59:07,982 --> 00:59:09,884
Okay. Thank you.
1560
00:59:11,819 --> 00:59:14,655
♪ ♪
1561
00:59:17,825 --> 00:59:18,826
Okay.
1562
00:59:20,628 --> 00:59:21,996
I kissed you!
1563
00:59:22,029 --> 00:59:24,365
Are we kissing each other now?
I don't know! Bye!
1564
00:59:24,398 --> 00:59:26,700
(chuckles)
1565
00:59:27,268 --> 00:59:29,937
(cheering)
1566
00:59:35,376 --> 00:59:37,578
Bobby!
1567
00:59:39,313 --> 00:59:41,715
♪ ♪
1568
00:59:52,359 --> 00:59:54,762
♪ ♪
1569
01:00:11,679 --> 01:00:13,747
You're gorgeous.
1570
01:00:14,381 --> 01:00:16,617
What? You are.
1571
01:00:19,153 --> 01:00:21,989
I still can't believe what
you did with Lawrence today.
1572
01:00:22,022 --> 01:00:24,024
That was amazing!
1573
01:00:24,058 --> 01:00:25,726
$5 million?
1574
01:00:25,759 --> 01:00:27,328
It's not that big a deal.
1575
01:00:27,361 --> 01:00:30,030
It is a huge deal.
Are you kidding me?
1576
01:00:30,064 --> 01:00:32,700
(chuckles) I always have to do
everything for myself.
1577
01:00:32,733 --> 01:00:35,002
No one ever does shit
like that for me.
1578
01:00:35,035 --> 01:00:38,339
You know, what you did for me
you could do for yourself.
1579
01:00:38,372 --> 01:00:40,341
Open a chocolate shop.
I don't know.
1580
01:00:40,374 --> 01:00:43,144
I'm not opening
a chocolate shop.
1581
01:00:43,177 --> 01:00:45,446
I'm not as confident as you.
1582
01:00:45,479 --> 01:00:47,748
Oh, please.
I'm not that confident.
1583
01:00:47,781 --> 01:00:50,217
You are the most confident
person I know,
1584
01:00:50,251 --> 01:00:52,153
like, to a fault.
1585
01:00:52,186 --> 01:00:53,354
-(chuckles)
-It's actually--
1586
01:00:53,387 --> 01:00:55,022
It's kind of scary.
1587
01:00:55,055 --> 01:00:56,857
(chuckles)
1588
01:00:56,891 --> 01:00:59,727
Trust me, it's all an act.
1589
01:00:59,760 --> 01:01:01,729
Confidence is
just a choice you make.
1590
01:01:01,762 --> 01:01:03,430
It's a decision like any other.
1591
01:01:03,464 --> 01:01:05,866
Usually born out of necessity.
1592
01:01:06,767 --> 01:01:08,836
You think I have
a good singing voice now?
1593
01:01:08,869 --> 01:01:10,704
You should have heard me
when I was a kid.
1594
01:01:10,738 --> 01:01:11,972
I was even better.
1595
01:01:12,006 --> 01:01:13,774
Had American Idol existed then,
1596
01:01:13,807 --> 01:01:15,376
I would've been the gay guy
with an amazing voice
1597
01:01:15,409 --> 01:01:16,744
who comes in second.
1598
01:01:16,777 --> 01:01:18,779
-(chuckles)
-And then let's see.
1599
01:01:18,812 --> 01:01:24,084
Then I went to college, and
my musical theater teacher--
1600
01:01:24,118 --> 01:01:26,387
he told me that I had
a "gay walk"
1601
01:01:26,420 --> 01:01:31,458
and a "flamboyant quality"
which would "limit my options."
1602
01:01:31,492 --> 01:01:33,394
(chuckles)
1603
01:01:33,427 --> 01:01:35,229
And then for grad school,
I went to
1604
01:01:35,262 --> 01:01:37,298
one of the best journalism
schools in the country,
1605
01:01:37,331 --> 01:01:38,933
and my teacher there,
1606
01:01:38,966 --> 01:01:41,368
this old, closeted queen
who was married to a woman,
1607
01:01:41,402 --> 01:01:45,105
pulled me aside and thought
he was doing me a favor
1608
01:01:45,139 --> 01:01:47,107
when he told me that
I should stick to writing
1609
01:01:47,141 --> 01:01:50,211
because my voice sounded
too gay to do the news on TV.
1610
01:01:50,244 --> 01:01:52,179
True story.
1611
01:01:52,213 --> 01:01:55,482
And then I did stick to writing
and my gay history books.
1612
01:01:55,517 --> 01:01:58,819
Every single publisher,
every single one,
1613
01:01:58,852 --> 01:02:01,956
told me there wasn't enough
of an audience for it.
1614
01:02:01,989 --> 01:02:04,491
I was always too gay,
or I was too niche,
1615
01:02:04,526 --> 01:02:07,361
or, you know,
I made people uncomfortable.
1616
01:02:07,394 --> 01:02:11,498
Even my dad, who was
so wonderful and supportive--
1617
01:02:11,533 --> 01:02:14,835
I remember him saying,
"You know, not everyone
1618
01:02:14,868 --> 01:02:18,072
wants to hear this gay stuff
all the time."
1619
01:02:19,907 --> 01:02:21,375
But what was I supposed to do?
1620
01:02:21,408 --> 01:02:23,978
I mean... (chuckles)
I'm a writer.
1621
01:02:24,011 --> 01:02:29,216
I wanted to write about
my life, my friends, my world.
1622
01:02:30,884 --> 01:02:32,152
And I'm telling you,
1623
01:02:32,186 --> 01:02:34,021
enough people
tell you things like that,
1624
01:02:34,054 --> 01:02:36,857
no matter how confident you are,
1625
01:02:36,890 --> 01:02:38,859
when you're alone at night,
1626
01:02:38,892 --> 01:02:41,895
you start to think
that maybe they're right.
1627
01:02:45,432 --> 01:02:48,570
So... I just...
1628
01:02:48,603 --> 01:02:51,071
I put my head down,
1629
01:02:51,105 --> 01:02:53,841
and I just worked really hard,
1630
01:02:53,874 --> 01:02:57,177
and I just hoped that somehow
1631
01:02:57,211 --> 01:03:01,248
all these other people
were wrong.
1632
01:03:10,324 --> 01:03:12,226
And they were.
1633
01:03:16,598 --> 01:03:18,999
And they were.
1634
01:03:23,070 --> 01:03:25,306
(chuckles) I mean, I spent years
1635
01:03:25,339 --> 01:03:29,910
watching a wave of mediocre
straight men passing me by.
1636
01:03:29,943 --> 01:03:33,213
Men with half the talent,
who worked half as hard,
1637
01:03:33,247 --> 01:03:34,882
who didn't care
as much as I did,
1638
01:03:34,915 --> 01:03:36,984
and they got twice as far,
always.
1639
01:03:37,017 --> 01:03:38,919
I mean,
that's an old story, but...
1640
01:03:38,952 --> 01:03:42,256
And, you know,
the world caught up with us.
1641
01:03:43,090 --> 01:03:45,292
Didn't catch up fast enough.
1642
01:03:47,094 --> 01:03:49,463
Didn't catch up fast enough
for my parents to see
1643
01:03:49,496 --> 01:03:52,466
all these great things
happen for me.
1644
01:03:52,499 --> 01:03:54,101
Right?
1645
01:03:55,269 --> 01:03:57,871
Didn't catch up fast enough
for a lot of people.
1646
01:03:57,905 --> 01:03:59,406
That's the truth.
1647
01:04:01,175 --> 01:04:04,612
Let me tell you,
confidence is just knowing
1648
01:04:04,646 --> 01:04:06,947
you're the only person left
you can count on.
1649
01:04:06,980 --> 01:04:08,916
That's all that is.
1650
01:04:09,684 --> 01:04:11,418
That's all.
1651
01:04:15,255 --> 01:04:16,924
Want another beer?
1652
01:04:19,193 --> 01:04:21,161
Sure.
1653
01:04:29,036 --> 01:04:31,573
Sorry. That was a lot.
1654
01:04:31,606 --> 01:04:33,173
Did that weird you out?
1655
01:04:33,207 --> 01:04:35,442
("Love and Affection"
by Joan Armatrading playing)
1656
01:04:35,476 --> 01:04:37,478
-♪ The friends that I want ♪
-♪ Well, baby, love ♪
1657
01:04:37,512 --> 01:04:39,480
♪ Love, ooh-ooh ♪
1658
01:04:42,416 --> 01:04:47,522
♪ With friends,
I still feel so insecure ♪
1659
01:04:47,555 --> 01:04:51,425
♪ Little darling, I believe
you could help me a lot ♪
1660
01:04:52,594 --> 01:04:57,064
♪ Just take my hand
and lead me where you will... ♪
1661
01:04:58,432 --> 01:04:59,634
(Bobby sighs)
1662
01:04:59,667 --> 01:05:02,002
I love this song.
1663
01:05:02,035 --> 01:05:03,270
-♪ Well, baby, love ♪
-♪ Love, ooh-ooh ♪
1664
01:05:03,303 --> 01:05:07,307
♪ Just make love
with affection ♪
1665
01:05:08,142 --> 01:05:09,309
♪ Sing me another love song... ♪
1666
01:05:09,343 --> 01:05:10,512
That is a weird dance.
1667
01:05:10,545 --> 01:05:12,246
Excuse me.
1668
01:05:12,279 --> 01:05:13,414
At least I dance.
1669
01:05:13,447 --> 01:05:15,048
I can dance.
1670
01:05:15,082 --> 01:05:16,483
I have never seen you dance.
Literally, no one has.
1671
01:05:16,518 --> 01:05:17,585
-Really?
-No.
1672
01:05:17,619 --> 01:05:19,486
-Want to see me dance?
-Yes.
1673
01:05:20,588 --> 01:05:22,256
Uh-oh.
1674
01:05:22,289 --> 01:05:24,324
♪ Give me love,
give me love... ♪
1675
01:05:24,358 --> 01:05:26,661
(Bobby laughing)
1676
01:05:26,694 --> 01:05:28,530
Oh. Very good.
1677
01:05:28,563 --> 01:05:30,698
-There you go.
-Come on.
1678
01:05:30,732 --> 01:05:33,133
♪ ♪
1679
01:05:35,402 --> 01:05:37,471
(saxophone solo playing)
1680
01:05:46,614 --> 01:05:49,016
(panting)
1681
01:05:50,484 --> 01:05:53,187
(sighs) I want you to fuck me.
1682
01:05:54,288 --> 01:05:55,956
Are you sure?
1683
01:05:56,758 --> 01:05:58,760
When was the last time
you did that?
1684
01:05:58,793 --> 01:06:00,461
It's been a while.
1685
01:06:01,495 --> 01:06:03,430
But I want you to.
1686
01:06:04,666 --> 01:06:06,400
-(whispers): Okay.
-(whispers): Good.
1687
01:06:06,433 --> 01:06:08,736
♪ But this time
with a little dedication ♪
1688
01:06:08,770 --> 01:06:12,005
♪ Sing it, sing it,
sing it, sing it ♪
1689
01:06:12,039 --> 01:06:14,174
♪ You know that's what I like ♪
1690
01:06:14,208 --> 01:06:17,545
-♪ Love ♪
-♪ Love, ooh-ooh ♪
1691
01:06:17,579 --> 01:06:20,080
♪ Once more with feeling ♪
1692
01:06:20,113 --> 01:06:21,616
♪ Sing me another love song ♪
1693
01:06:21,649 --> 01:06:22,717
-♪ But this time... ♪
-(song ends)
1694
01:06:22,750 --> 01:06:25,385
♪ ♪
1695
01:06:41,703 --> 01:06:43,538
(lively chatter, laughter)
1696
01:06:43,571 --> 01:06:46,306
♪ ♪
1697
01:06:48,175 --> 01:06:49,777
Yeah. All right. Here you go.
1698
01:06:49,811 --> 01:06:51,111
-Merry Christmas.
-Thank you. Merry Christmas.
1699
01:06:51,144 --> 01:06:52,412
Thank you. Merry Christmas.
1700
01:06:52,446 --> 01:06:53,648
Okay. (grunts)
1701
01:06:53,681 --> 01:06:55,115
-Whoa. Okay.
-Ready?
1702
01:06:55,148 --> 01:06:56,551
Great. Fine.
1703
01:06:58,151 --> 01:06:59,521
-It's gonna be good.
-Whew.
1704
01:06:59,554 --> 01:07:00,588
-It's all worth it!
-Yeah.
1705
01:07:00,622 --> 01:07:01,789
It's all worth it!
1706
01:07:01,823 --> 01:07:04,091
-(lively chatter)
-(festive music playing)
1707
01:07:05,092 --> 01:07:07,762
What's up? Aaron!
1708
01:07:07,795 --> 01:07:09,531
-Wh... (chuckles)
-What's up, man?
1709
01:07:09,564 --> 01:07:11,666
-Whoa. -I was wondering
when I was gonna run into you.
1710
01:07:11,699 --> 01:07:13,668
It's like seven of us.
1711
01:07:13,701 --> 01:07:15,803
Hey, congratulations
on everything.
1712
01:07:15,837 --> 01:07:17,572
Yeah, thank you.
Yeah, it's been crazy, man.
1713
01:07:17,605 --> 01:07:20,274
Cool. So, um, yeah,
what have you been doing?
1714
01:07:20,307 --> 01:07:22,544
HENRY: Louis was like,
"No, I need to see options."
1715
01:07:22,577 --> 01:07:24,679
And then he started sending me
Airbnb options.
1716
01:07:24,712 --> 01:07:26,113
-Am I boring you?
-No, no, no.
1717
01:07:26,146 --> 01:07:27,615
And I'm like,
"No, we deserve this..."
1718
01:07:27,649 --> 01:07:30,585
-(lively chatter continues)
-("Deck the Halls" playing)
1719
01:07:31,886 --> 01:07:33,555
(laughing)
1720
01:07:33,588 --> 01:07:35,255
Bobby.
1721
01:07:35,289 --> 01:07:37,859
-What do you want?
-I want you.
1722
01:07:37,892 --> 01:07:39,627
(Aaron grunting)
1723
01:07:39,661 --> 01:07:41,328
What's up?
1724
01:07:42,329 --> 01:07:44,866
Um, where do we stand on this?
1725
01:07:44,899 --> 01:07:46,601
Where do we stand on what?
1726
01:07:46,634 --> 01:07:48,803
-"Momogany."
-Oh. (laughs)
1727
01:07:48,836 --> 01:07:50,505
On "momogany"?
1728
01:07:50,538 --> 01:07:52,472
Are we open? What are we into?
What are we doing? Like...
1729
01:07:52,507 --> 01:07:54,809
Oh, this is just like
When Harry Met Sally.
1730
01:07:54,842 --> 01:07:56,310
What do you mean?
1731
01:07:56,343 --> 01:07:58,245
It's that classic scene
where Billy Crystal
1732
01:07:58,278 --> 01:07:59,847
runs to Meg Ryan
on New Year's Eve and asks her
1733
01:07:59,881 --> 01:08:01,516
if she wants to have
an open relationship.
1734
01:08:01,549 --> 01:08:03,518
(both laughing)
1735
01:08:03,551 --> 01:08:05,319
-Well, but...
-I mean,
1736
01:08:05,352 --> 01:08:08,155
I'm not, like,
into monogamy, you know.
1737
01:08:08,188 --> 01:08:09,724
But I don't think
we should be, like,
1738
01:08:09,757 --> 01:08:11,325
constantly fucking other people.
1739
01:08:11,358 --> 01:08:12,459
No.
1740
01:08:12,492 --> 01:08:14,127
Why do you ask?
1741
01:08:16,496 --> 01:08:20,233
Oh, you want to fuck
your little hockey friend.
1742
01:08:20,267 --> 01:08:21,603
No, I want to fuck you.
1743
01:08:21,636 --> 01:08:24,438
-Oh, that's nice.
-But maybe he's there, too.
1744
01:08:24,471 --> 01:08:27,240
(both laughing)
1745
01:08:33,548 --> 01:08:34,716
He's very hot.
1746
01:08:36,718 --> 01:08:39,419
-Hi, Joshua.
-Hey. -Hey.
1747
01:08:41,321 --> 01:08:42,557
Hi.
1748
01:08:43,925 --> 01:08:45,258
I'm Steve.
1749
01:08:45,292 --> 01:08:47,862
-Hey, Steve.
-Hey, Steve.
1750
01:08:47,895 --> 01:08:49,363
Hi, Steve.
1751
01:08:49,396 --> 01:08:51,498
("Santa Baby" playing)
1752
01:08:51,532 --> 01:08:53,534
(breathing heavily)
1753
01:08:56,938 --> 01:08:58,906
♪ Santa baby ♪
1754
01:08:58,940 --> 01:09:00,808
♪ Just slip a sable
under the tree... ♪
1755
01:09:00,842 --> 01:09:02,577
Hi, Steve.
1756
01:09:02,610 --> 01:09:03,911
Hey.
1757
01:09:03,945 --> 01:09:06,313
♪ Been an awful good girl... ♪
1758
01:09:06,346 --> 01:09:08,248
(Steve moans loudly)
1759
01:09:08,281 --> 01:09:10,350
♪ So hurry down
the chimney tonight ♪
1760
01:09:10,384 --> 01:09:13,286
-(moaning)
-(Steve moans loudly)
1761
01:09:15,255 --> 01:09:16,891
♪ Santa baby ♪
1762
01:09:16,924 --> 01:09:18,392
-STEVE: Mmm.
-(Bobby chuckles)
1763
01:09:18,425 --> 01:09:21,963
♪ A '54 convertible, too,
light blue... ♪
1764
01:09:21,996 --> 01:09:23,598
-Oh, sorry.
-(grunts)
1765
01:09:23,631 --> 01:09:24,666
Hey.
1766
01:09:24,699 --> 01:09:25,933
♪ Santa baby... ♪
1767
01:09:25,967 --> 01:09:27,935
(chuckles)
1768
01:09:27,969 --> 01:09:30,303
Pillow fight! (chuckles)
1769
01:09:30,938 --> 01:09:32,974
Can I have a massage?
1770
01:09:33,007 --> 01:09:34,942
-Me?
-(Steve laughs)
1771
01:09:34,976 --> 01:09:36,811
♪ Think of all the fun
I've missed... ♪
1772
01:09:36,844 --> 01:09:38,211
Sure.
1773
01:09:38,245 --> 01:09:39,714
I got really tight hamstrings.
1774
01:09:39,747 --> 01:09:40,982
-BOBBY: Cool.
-Oh, yeah.
1775
01:09:41,015 --> 01:09:43,618
(straining):
Right there.
1776
01:09:43,651 --> 01:09:45,586
(panting)
1777
01:09:46,554 --> 01:09:50,825
♪ If you'll check off
my Christmas list ♪
1778
01:09:50,858 --> 01:09:52,660
-♪ Santa baby... ♪
-(song stops)
1779
01:09:52,694 --> 01:09:54,428
Ignore me. I think I left
my scarf in here. I can...
1780
01:09:54,461 --> 01:09:56,564
-Henry! Get out!
-(laughs)
1781
01:09:56,597 --> 01:09:57,965
Bobby Leiber!
1782
01:09:57,999 --> 01:09:59,399
You made some friends.
1783
01:09:59,433 --> 01:10:01,234
-Hi, Henry.
-Hey, Steve.
1784
01:10:01,268 --> 01:10:03,538
Oh, sure.
1785
01:10:04,806 --> 01:10:07,975
I am so hungover.
1786
01:10:08,009 --> 01:10:10,444
-Mm.
-(grunts)
1787
01:10:11,344 --> 01:10:13,614
-Thank you.
-(grunts)
1788
01:10:14,582 --> 01:10:16,316
(sighs)
1789
01:10:17,685 --> 01:10:19,486
(groans softly)
1790
01:10:23,323 --> 01:10:25,292
So, I may have been wrong about
1791
01:10:25,325 --> 01:10:28,863
the whole hooking up
with other people thing.
1792
01:10:28,896 --> 01:10:29,864
Okay.
1793
01:10:29,897 --> 01:10:32,033
I don't know. I just...
1794
01:10:32,066 --> 01:10:35,368
(sighs) I want to be cool
and free, and, you know,
1795
01:10:35,402 --> 01:10:39,841
I don't want to be lame,
but actually seeing you--
1796
01:10:39,874 --> 01:10:42,309
I don't know. It just...
1797
01:10:42,342 --> 01:10:44,679
It wasn't working for me.
1798
01:10:46,313 --> 01:10:48,716
Yeah, no, totally. I-I get it.
1799
01:10:49,717 --> 01:10:50,885
You sure?
1800
01:10:50,918 --> 01:10:52,854
Yeah.
1801
01:10:52,887 --> 01:10:55,288
Okay.
1802
01:10:55,923 --> 01:10:57,525
Thank you.
1803
01:10:58,993 --> 01:11:01,596
-(breathes deeply)
-(phone dings)
1804
01:11:01,629 --> 01:11:05,298
Oh. Sorry, my mom
will not stop texting me.
1805
01:11:05,332 --> 01:11:06,934
When do your folks
get here again?
1806
01:11:06,968 --> 01:11:08,035
The 21st.
1807
01:11:08,069 --> 01:11:09,504
She wants to do the whole
1808
01:11:09,537 --> 01:11:11,038
"magical Christmas
in New York" thing.
1809
01:11:11,072 --> 01:11:12,540
They love sightseeing.
1810
01:11:12,573 --> 01:11:14,075
I have no idea
what to do with them.
1811
01:11:14,108 --> 01:11:16,077
Well, if you need me,
I'll be home
1812
01:11:16,110 --> 01:11:17,812
hate-watching
Hallheart Christmas movies.
1813
01:11:17,845 --> 01:11:19,747
(laughs)
1814
01:11:22,550 --> 01:11:24,519
Hey.
1815
01:11:24,552 --> 01:11:28,623
Do you maybe want to spend
Christmas with me and my folks?
1816
01:11:28,656 --> 01:11:30,792
Really?
1817
01:11:30,825 --> 01:11:32,927
Because, honestly,
I am totally fine alone.
1818
01:11:32,960 --> 01:11:34,494
That is very sweet
of you, though.
1819
01:11:34,529 --> 01:11:36,564
No, you shouldn't be alone.
That's crazy.
1820
01:11:37,832 --> 01:11:38,933
Okay.
1821
01:11:38,966 --> 01:11:40,668
Yeah, that'll be fun.
1822
01:11:40,701 --> 01:11:43,671
And, honestly, no one knows
New York City better than me.
1823
01:11:43,704 --> 01:11:45,940
I will plan the ultimate
New York City Christmas,
1824
01:11:45,973 --> 01:11:47,942
as only
a New York City Jew could.
1825
01:11:47,975 --> 01:11:49,342
Amazing.
1826
01:11:49,376 --> 01:11:50,678
But just keep in mind, you know,
1827
01:11:50,711 --> 01:11:52,345
they're, like, quiet folks
from a small town.
1828
01:11:52,379 --> 01:11:54,015
Aaron, I understand.
1829
01:11:54,048 --> 01:11:55,683
You and I come from
different worlds.
1830
01:11:55,716 --> 01:11:59,020
I'm from New York City.
You're from Upstate New York.
1831
01:11:59,053 --> 01:12:01,589
(laughs) I mean,
they're sweet, but just...
1832
01:12:03,456 --> 01:12:06,527
If you could just
be, like, chill.
1833
01:12:06,561 --> 01:12:08,963
I promise I won't embarrass you.
1834
01:12:08,996 --> 01:12:11,132
And, Mrs. Shepard, these are
the first holiday windows
1835
01:12:11,165 --> 01:12:13,501
to ever feature
a sex-positive Tiny Tim.
1836
01:12:13,534 --> 01:12:14,569
And it's so important.
1837
01:12:14,602 --> 01:12:15,970
We don't get queer characters
1838
01:12:16,003 --> 01:12:17,038
in the stories
that we read as kids.
1839
01:12:17,071 --> 01:12:18,039
There's no gay Cinderella.
1840
01:12:18,072 --> 01:12:20,407
There's no lesbian Rapunzel.
1841
01:12:20,440 --> 01:12:21,976
There's no nonbinary
Ebenezer Scrooge.
1842
01:12:22,009 --> 01:12:24,078
Uh, Bobby, I think they get it.
1843
01:12:24,111 --> 01:12:26,379
Guys, we've got to go.
1844
01:12:26,413 --> 01:12:27,815
I told Josh Evans
we would meet him
1845
01:12:27,849 --> 01:12:30,585
at the Hallheart Christmas
movie pop-up village.
1846
01:12:30,618 --> 01:12:32,119
We're seeing Josh Evans?
1847
01:12:32,153 --> 01:12:34,454
I didn't know.
1848
01:12:34,487 --> 01:12:35,422
Let's do it.
1849
01:12:35,455 --> 01:12:37,124
Are you a Hallheart fan?
1850
01:12:37,158 --> 01:12:38,860
I dabble.
1851
01:12:38,893 --> 01:12:41,494
("Jingle Bells" playing)
1852
01:12:41,529 --> 01:12:44,131
This is so beautiful.
1853
01:12:44,165 --> 01:12:45,666
I know. I love it.
1854
01:12:45,700 --> 01:12:46,701
There's Josh.
1855
01:12:46,734 --> 01:12:49,003
Wearing shorts in winter,
like a total psychopath.
1856
01:12:49,036 --> 01:12:50,403
Oh, my goodness.
1857
01:12:50,437 --> 01:12:55,009
They have
Rachael Ray edible tinsel!
1858
01:12:55,042 --> 01:12:57,578
-Josh! Evans!
-JOSH: Hey, fellas.
1859
01:12:57,612 --> 01:12:59,714
-How's Hallheart Village
treating ya? -Hey.
1860
01:12:59,747 --> 01:13:01,481
Did you see the gay movie
that they did?
1861
01:13:01,515 --> 01:13:02,884
It was kind of dope.
1862
01:13:02,917 --> 01:13:04,752
Yeah, for years they ignored us,
1863
01:13:04,785 --> 01:13:06,486
then their audience got
10% less homophobic,
1864
01:13:06,520 --> 01:13:07,889
so they decided
we're a new demographic
1865
01:13:07,922 --> 01:13:10,024
they can sell shit to.
I mean, look at these movies.
1866
01:13:10,057 --> 01:13:12,727
Have Yourself A Heteronormative
Little Christmas.
1867
01:13:12,760 --> 01:13:15,196
Miracle on 34th Street
but with One Gay Guy.
1868
01:13:15,229 --> 01:13:17,632
Home Alone
but with Sarah Paulson.
1869
01:13:17,665 --> 01:13:19,133
-I mean, it's absurd.
-ANNE: Josh.
1870
01:13:19,166 --> 01:13:21,769
-Hey.
-Merry Christmas.
1871
01:13:21,802 --> 01:13:22,904
Come get skates.
1872
01:13:22,937 --> 01:13:24,505
I want to see you and Aaron
1873
01:13:24,538 --> 01:13:26,774
-back out on the ice for
old times' sake. -(laughs)
1874
01:13:26,807 --> 01:13:27,642
Yeah.
1875
01:13:27,675 --> 01:13:29,510
Bobby, Josh and Aaron
1876
01:13:29,543 --> 01:13:31,212
played hockey together
in high school.
1877
01:13:31,245 --> 01:13:32,613
-Oh, I know.
-Yeah.
1878
01:13:32,647 --> 01:13:34,782
-Come on.
-Hey, man, what's going on?
1879
01:13:34,815 --> 01:13:37,518
-Dude, what is your problem?
-What?
1880
01:13:37,551 --> 01:13:39,654
Could you just, like,
maybe tone it down a notch?
1881
01:13:39,687 --> 01:13:41,488
I'm sorry, I don't understand.
1882
01:13:41,522 --> 01:13:43,124
We've been with my parents
for two hours,
1883
01:13:43,157 --> 01:13:45,059
and you've already talked
about transgender mannequins,
1884
01:13:45,092 --> 01:13:46,727
HIV prevention,
1885
01:13:46,761 --> 01:13:48,930
and you pointed out the route
to the 1976 Dyke March.
1886
01:13:48,963 --> 01:13:51,464
They're having fun.
They're totally fine.
1887
01:13:51,498 --> 01:13:52,800
What is your problem?
1888
01:13:52,833 --> 01:13:53,935
I'm nervous, okay?
1889
01:13:53,968 --> 01:13:55,569
I've never
introduced them to anybody.
1890
01:13:55,603 --> 01:13:57,004
I just don't want them
to get weirded out.
1891
01:13:57,038 --> 01:14:00,174
I want them to have, like,
a chill, normal time.
1892
01:14:00,207 --> 01:14:01,943
So now I'm not normal?
1893
01:14:01,976 --> 01:14:03,476
Bobby, you know what I mean.
1894
01:14:03,511 --> 01:14:05,713
I'm just being myself.
1895
01:14:05,746 --> 01:14:07,715
Okay, but maybe
you could just be, like,
1896
01:14:07,748 --> 01:14:10,952
a little less yourself
for like three hours.
1897
01:14:10,985 --> 01:14:12,787
I want them to like you.
1898
01:14:14,722 --> 01:14:16,524
Oh. Yeah.
1899
01:14:16,557 --> 01:14:18,125
No, sure. Of course.
1900
01:14:18,159 --> 01:14:19,560
Yeah, I'll just...
1901
01:14:19,593 --> 01:14:21,629
I'll just be quiet.
1902
01:14:21,662 --> 01:14:23,764
(chuckles) Okay, thank you.
1903
01:14:23,798 --> 01:14:25,700
PETER:
Bobby! Oh, my God!
1904
01:14:25,733 --> 01:14:27,001
Hi!
1905
01:14:27,034 --> 01:14:28,769
-Hi!
-Jesus Christ.
1906
01:14:28,803 --> 01:14:30,705
We have to go anyway.
We have a dinner reservation.
1907
01:14:30,738 --> 01:14:32,273
Where's dinner again?
1908
01:14:32,306 --> 01:14:36,210
-♪ I'm flying ♪
-(orchestral music playing)
1909
01:14:36,243 --> 01:14:37,678
♪ Look at me, way up high ♪
1910
01:14:37,712 --> 01:14:40,915
♪ Suddenly, here am I ♪
1911
01:14:40,948 --> 01:14:43,184
♪ I'm flying. ♪
1912
01:14:43,217 --> 01:14:44,952
-(song ends)
-(cheering)
1913
01:14:44,986 --> 01:14:47,154
(Anne exclaims)
1914
01:14:47,188 --> 01:14:48,823
(clears throat)
1915
01:14:48,856 --> 01:14:51,258
Hey, Dad,
how are the Polar Bears doing?
1916
01:14:51,292 --> 01:14:52,994
That's the team
Josh and I used to play on.
1917
01:14:53,027 --> 01:14:54,829
They haven't won all year.
1918
01:14:54,862 --> 01:14:56,864
I told Josh they need you boys
to come back.
1919
01:14:56,897 --> 01:14:59,166
(laughter)
1920
01:14:59,200 --> 01:15:02,603
Bobby, you seem quiet tonight.
1921
01:15:02,636 --> 01:15:03,871
Is everything all right?
1922
01:15:03,904 --> 01:15:06,640
Oh, yeah, I'm totally fine.
Yeah.
1923
01:15:06,674 --> 01:15:08,075
I'm actually--
You know, I'm sorry
1924
01:15:08,109 --> 01:15:09,643
if I spoke too much today.
1925
01:15:09,677 --> 01:15:11,278
I just-- I think I got nervous.
1926
01:15:11,312 --> 01:15:13,280
This is actually more like
how I usually am.
1927
01:15:13,314 --> 01:15:14,815
I'm very quiet.
1928
01:15:14,849 --> 01:15:17,651
Very quiet and just,
like, weirdly normal.
1929
01:15:17,685 --> 01:15:19,720
-(chuckles)
-Well, thanks again
1930
01:15:19,754 --> 01:15:21,756
for planning such a lovely day.
1931
01:15:21,789 --> 01:15:23,691
Oh, you're so welcome,
Mrs. Shepard.
1932
01:15:23,724 --> 01:15:25,559
Oh, you sound like
one of my students.
1933
01:15:25,593 --> 01:15:27,194
Call me Anne.
1934
01:15:27,228 --> 01:15:28,629
Okay, I will.
1935
01:15:28,662 --> 01:15:30,331
Uh, Mom's been
a second grade teacher
1936
01:15:30,364 --> 01:15:31,766
for almost 40 years now.
1937
01:15:31,799 --> 01:15:33,667
Oh, my God, that's amazing.
1938
01:15:33,701 --> 01:15:35,569
We need good teachers,
now more than ever.
1939
01:15:35,603 --> 01:15:38,305
Thank you. I agree.
1940
01:15:38,339 --> 01:15:43,077
And Aaron says you're working
at an American history museum.
1941
01:15:44,245 --> 01:15:46,781
Yes. Yes, it is.
1942
01:15:46,814 --> 01:15:48,716
It's an American history museum.
1943
01:15:48,749 --> 01:15:49,950
Hmm.
1944
01:15:49,984 --> 01:15:51,786
Mm-hmm.
1945
01:15:51,819 --> 01:15:54,221
Well, it's actually
an LGBTQ history museum.
1946
01:15:54,255 --> 01:15:56,924
It's the first major queer
history museum in America.
1947
01:15:56,957 --> 01:15:58,692
Do you teach your students
any gay history?
1948
01:15:58,726 --> 01:16:00,127
'Cause I know in a few states
1949
01:16:00,161 --> 01:16:01,829
they're finally starting
to do it.
1950
01:16:02,696 --> 01:16:06,801
Well, I teach
second grade, so no.
1951
01:16:06,834 --> 01:16:08,069
Oh, right.
1952
01:16:08,102 --> 01:16:10,137
No, I understand. Yeah.
1953
01:16:14,275 --> 01:16:16,110
Out of curiosity, why not?
1954
01:16:16,143 --> 01:16:18,212
ANNE:
Well, I just think
1955
01:16:18,245 --> 01:16:20,281
they're a little young for that.
1956
01:16:20,314 --> 01:16:22,183
Oh, of course. Yeah.
1957
01:16:22,216 --> 01:16:24,585
No, I understand that.
1958
01:16:26,987 --> 01:16:28,823
(smacks lips)
I don't think so, though.
1959
01:16:28,856 --> 01:16:30,791
-Ah, Bobby.
-No, no, no, I'm just saying.
1960
01:16:30,825 --> 01:16:33,094
If I may disagree respectfully.
1961
01:16:33,127 --> 01:16:34,328
That's actually the best time
1962
01:16:34,361 --> 01:16:35,896
to teach them,
when they're young.
1963
01:16:35,930 --> 01:16:37,832
You know, that way
they develop an appreciation
1964
01:16:37,865 --> 01:16:39,400
for queer people before they
all start bullying each other
1965
01:16:39,433 --> 01:16:41,302
or hating themselves
if they're gay.
1966
01:16:41,335 --> 01:16:43,104
Maybe you're right.
1967
01:16:43,137 --> 01:16:45,005
Oh.
1968
01:16:46,774 --> 01:16:49,076
Feels a little young, though.
1969
01:16:49,110 --> 01:16:50,978
Hmm. Right.
1970
01:16:51,011 --> 01:16:52,780
Totally. I get it.
1971
01:16:52,813 --> 01:16:55,249
-I will drop it.
-(laughter) -Yeah.
1972
01:16:55,282 --> 01:16:56,317
-Agree to disagree.
-Yeah.
1973
01:16:56,350 --> 01:16:58,018
-Cheers to that.
-Yes.
1974
01:16:58,052 --> 01:17:00,688
Hey, so, uh, when are
you guys heading home...
1975
01:17:00,721 --> 01:17:02,123
It's not really
that young, though.
1976
01:17:02,156 --> 01:17:03,657
It's not that young.
1977
01:17:03,691 --> 01:17:05,126
Bobby, can you please drop it?
1978
01:17:05,159 --> 01:17:07,428
No, I can't, because we're
talking about gay kids here,
1979
01:17:07,461 --> 01:17:08,863
and it's important.
1980
01:17:08,896 --> 01:17:10,264
One of the things
that saved me is that
1981
01:17:10,297 --> 01:17:12,900
my parents exposed me to
gay stories when I was a kid.
1982
01:17:12,933 --> 01:17:15,069
When I was 12 years old--
this is true--
1983
01:17:15,102 --> 01:17:17,138
my parents took me
to see a Broadway play
1984
01:17:17,171 --> 01:17:18,672
called Love and Compassion.
1985
01:17:18,706 --> 01:17:20,007
It was about a group of gay men
1986
01:17:20,040 --> 01:17:22,009
spending the summer together
in Provincetown.
1987
01:17:22,042 --> 01:17:24,011
And all of a sudden,
the curtain goes up,
1988
01:17:24,044 --> 01:17:27,748
and there are seven completely
naked gay men onstage.
1989
01:17:27,781 --> 01:17:30,885
And there I am,
sitting between my mom and dad
1990
01:17:30,918 --> 01:17:34,722
at age 12,
looking at seven soft penises.
1991
01:17:34,755 --> 01:17:36,891
-(snorts) Shit.
-And all of a sudden,
1992
01:17:36,924 --> 01:17:38,425
two of the guys
start making out,
1993
01:17:38,459 --> 01:17:40,294
and then one of them starts,
like, talking dirty, you know?
1994
01:17:40,327 --> 01:17:42,062
And I remember this so vividly.
1995
01:17:42,096 --> 01:17:44,031
There was a sex scene,
and one of the guys is like,
1996
01:17:44,064 --> 01:17:46,934
"Pound my prostate.
Pound my prostate."
1997
01:17:46,967 --> 01:17:48,435
You know, "Milk me. Milk me."
1998
01:17:48,469 --> 01:17:50,171
And I didn't even know
what that was.
1999
01:17:50,204 --> 01:17:51,906
I mean, now I do.
2000
01:17:51,939 --> 01:17:53,440
But, you know,
it was incredible.
2001
01:17:53,474 --> 01:17:55,309
You know, to know
that I could sit there,
2002
01:17:55,342 --> 01:17:58,812
between my mom and dad,
looking at seven penises.
2003
01:17:58,846 --> 01:18:00,314
Seven penises, Anne.
2004
01:18:00,347 --> 01:18:01,982
I was 12.
2005
01:18:02,016 --> 01:18:04,351
And to know that they were
okay with that, I mean,
2006
01:18:04,385 --> 01:18:05,920
that had a profound effect
on me.
2007
01:18:05,953 --> 01:18:07,855
All I'm saying is,
we need to remove the stigma
2008
01:18:07,888 --> 01:18:09,356
from that type of thing
so that gay kids
2009
01:18:09,390 --> 01:18:11,325
can feel good about themselves.
That's all I'm saying.
2010
01:18:11,358 --> 01:18:13,460
I mean, look at Aaron
and how much he hates his life.
2011
01:18:13,494 --> 01:18:15,496
-Bobby.
-No, all I'm saying is there's
2012
01:18:15,530 --> 01:18:17,064
a direct correlation between
how unhappy you are
2013
01:18:17,097 --> 01:18:18,732
with your life
and what you weren't taught
2014
01:18:18,766 --> 01:18:19,800
about your potential as a child.
2015
01:18:19,833 --> 01:18:20,935
Bobby, stop talking.
2016
01:18:20,968 --> 01:18:22,303
-Wh...
-Seriously, enough.
2017
01:18:22,336 --> 01:18:23,804
I will kill you.
2018
01:18:23,837 --> 01:18:26,340
Aaron, you hate your life?
2019
01:18:26,373 --> 01:18:28,809
WAITERS: ♪ Rama lama lama
ka dinga da dinga dong ♪
2020
01:18:28,842 --> 01:18:31,011
♪ Shoo-bop sha wadda wadda
yippity boom de boom ♪
2021
01:18:31,045 --> 01:18:32,880
♪ Chang chang
changitty chang sha-bop ♪
2022
01:18:32,913 --> 01:18:35,115
♪ Dip da-dip da-dip
doo-wop da doo-bee doo ♪
2023
01:18:35,149 --> 01:18:36,383
♪ Boogedy boogedy
boogedy boogedy ♪
2024
01:18:36,417 --> 01:18:37,484
♪ Shoo-be doo-wop she-bop ♪
2025
01:18:37,519 --> 01:18:38,520
♪ Sha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na ♪
2026
01:18:38,553 --> 01:18:40,054
♪ Yippity boom de boom ♪
2027
01:18:40,087 --> 01:18:41,956
♪ Wop ba-ba lu-mop
and wop bam boom. ♪
2028
01:18:41,989 --> 01:18:44,191
-(song ends)
-(cheering, applause)
2029
01:18:47,127 --> 01:18:49,830
Your brother's
a real chatterbox.
2030
01:18:52,433 --> 01:18:53,535
Hey, are you mad?
2031
01:18:53,568 --> 01:18:54,835
Me? No, I'm great.
2032
01:18:54,868 --> 01:18:55,970
Josh just texted me.
2033
01:18:56,003 --> 01:18:57,271
I'm gonna meet him at that bar.
2034
01:18:57,304 --> 01:18:58,872
I think we should go home
and talk about this.
2035
01:18:58,906 --> 01:19:00,841
Oh, really?
You want to talk more?
2036
01:19:00,874 --> 01:19:02,343
Well, I think it's better than
going to party with Josh,
2037
01:19:02,376 --> 01:19:04,011
the self-loathing meathead
who took 40 years to come out.
2038
01:19:04,044 --> 01:19:05,346
Yeah, well,
not everybody's you, Bobby.
2039
01:19:05,379 --> 01:19:06,947
Okay, but 40 years?
2040
01:19:06,981 --> 01:19:08,249
J.R.R. Tolkien took less time
with his journey.
2041
01:19:08,282 --> 01:19:11,185
God, you are fucking relentless.
2042
01:19:11,218 --> 01:19:13,020
"Aaron hates his life"?
2043
01:19:13,053 --> 01:19:14,989
God.
2044
01:19:16,290 --> 01:19:17,291
Hey.
2045
01:19:18,292 --> 01:19:19,860
Hey!
2046
01:19:21,128 --> 01:19:22,830
Fuck!
2047
01:19:24,031 --> 01:19:26,233
-(dance music playing)
-(lively chatter, whooping)
2048
01:19:38,412 --> 01:19:40,014
(grunting)
2049
01:19:40,047 --> 01:19:42,116
(straining): Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
2050
01:19:42,149 --> 01:19:43,384
Good man.
2051
01:19:43,417 --> 01:19:44,818
(sighs)
2052
01:19:44,852 --> 01:19:47,054
(both panting)
2053
01:19:48,590 --> 01:19:50,157
Ah, dude. No.
2054
01:19:50,190 --> 01:19:51,892
Hey, just kiss me.
2055
01:19:58,265 --> 01:19:59,366
Aaron.
2056
01:20:00,502 --> 01:20:01,969
Oh, hey, Bob.
2057
01:20:02,002 --> 01:20:03,304
Uh, shit, Bobby,
we were just playing around.
2058
01:20:03,337 --> 01:20:05,439
-It's-it's...
-You were just playing around?
2059
01:20:05,472 --> 01:20:06,907
What the fuck is wrong with you?
2060
01:20:06,940 --> 01:20:09,243
-Bobby, Bobby.
-Josh, leave. -I'm sorry.
2061
01:20:09,276 --> 01:20:10,944
Get the fuck out of here!
2062
01:20:10,978 --> 01:20:12,980
-Bobby, calm down.
-Oh, my God, I knew it.
2063
01:20:13,013 --> 01:20:14,616
I fucking knew it.
2064
01:20:14,649 --> 01:20:15,983
Just say it.
2065
01:20:16,016 --> 01:20:17,451
Can you please just say it?
2066
01:20:17,484 --> 01:20:20,888
Finally, just fucking say it,
because I already know.
2067
01:20:21,589 --> 01:20:23,457
-You're not attracted to me.
-What?
2068
01:20:23,490 --> 01:20:26,594
I see the guys you look at,
at the gym and the club.
2069
01:20:26,628 --> 01:20:28,530
Everywhere! Everywhere we go!
2070
01:20:28,563 --> 01:20:30,197
-Okay, Bobby...
-Go be with him
2071
01:20:30,230 --> 01:20:32,032
if that's what you want,
but I will not let you
2072
01:20:32,066 --> 01:20:33,334
-drag me into this any further.
-(groans) It's not...
2073
01:20:33,367 --> 01:20:34,602
And I will not let you
break my heart.
2074
01:20:34,636 --> 01:20:36,103
I am too smart for that!
2075
01:20:36,136 --> 01:20:37,539
Bobby, why did you say
that shit about me
2076
01:20:37,572 --> 01:20:38,972
in front of my parents?
2077
01:20:39,006 --> 01:20:40,474
I begged you
not to embarrass me,
2078
01:20:40,508 --> 01:20:42,876
but you couldn't help yourself.
2079
01:20:43,977 --> 01:20:45,946
What is wrong with you?
2080
01:20:46,581 --> 01:20:49,917
What is wrong with me?
2081
01:20:49,950 --> 01:20:51,653
"Tone it down, Bobby."
2082
01:20:51,686 --> 01:20:53,320
"Be quiet, Bobby."
2083
01:20:53,354 --> 01:20:55,989
"Can't you be
a little bit less of yourself,
2084
01:20:56,023 --> 01:20:57,257
just for a few hours?"
2085
01:20:58,258 --> 01:21:01,228
You don't think
I know what that means?
2086
01:21:01,261 --> 01:21:03,297
You don't think I know
what that's code for?
2087
01:21:03,330 --> 01:21:05,032
You don't think
I've been hearing that
2088
01:21:05,065 --> 01:21:07,267
my whole fucking life?
2089
01:21:08,670 --> 01:21:10,971
That's what you think about me?
2090
01:21:13,173 --> 01:21:16,310
I'm not apologizing for myself.
I will leave that to you.
2091
01:21:16,343 --> 01:21:19,179
♪ ♪
2092
01:21:26,387 --> 01:21:28,021
(hosts gasping)
2093
01:21:28,055 --> 01:21:31,191
(cheering, crying)
2094
01:21:34,294 --> 01:21:37,264
(sobbing softly)
2095
01:21:37,297 --> 01:21:39,066
Hey, question for you
because you know everyone.
2096
01:21:39,099 --> 01:21:40,267
I need a makeover.
2097
01:21:40,300 --> 01:21:42,537
Ooh, yeah.
Let's go to a spa weekend.
2098
01:21:42,570 --> 01:21:44,004
No, I want steroids or, like,
2099
01:21:44,037 --> 01:21:45,339
testosterone or HGH
or something.
2100
01:21:45,372 --> 01:21:47,141
I keep working out,
but I don't get bigger.
2101
01:21:47,174 --> 01:21:48,710
I want to look like
a fucking action star.
2102
01:21:48,743 --> 01:21:50,277
Forget Provincetown.
I want people to think
2103
01:21:50,310 --> 01:21:52,112
I have a summer share
on Jumanji.
2104
01:21:52,146 --> 01:21:54,114
I'm sick of being niche.
I want to be Thor.
2105
01:21:54,148 --> 01:21:56,116
Bobby, you know that steroids
2106
01:21:56,150 --> 01:21:57,184
don't make you big
on their own, right?
2107
01:21:57,217 --> 01:21:58,586
Like, you still have to work out
2108
01:21:58,620 --> 01:22:00,087
-and you can't miss the window.
-I know!
2109
01:22:00,120 --> 01:22:03,323
("The People" by 1991 playing)
2110
01:22:04,458 --> 01:22:07,428
Let's fucking go.
2111
01:22:07,461 --> 01:22:08,596
Ow.
2112
01:22:08,630 --> 01:22:10,431
(phone chimes)
2113
01:22:11,432 --> 01:22:12,433
No.
2114
01:22:12,466 --> 01:22:13,735
-Fuck!
-(song ends)
2115
01:22:13,768 --> 01:22:16,170
(lively chatter)
2116
01:22:17,104 --> 01:22:18,272
No! What are you doing?!
2117
01:22:18,305 --> 01:22:20,040
-Stop that!
-WANDA: Bobby! Bobby!
2118
01:22:20,073 --> 01:22:21,576
-The Lincoln exhibit
is canceled. -Why?
2119
01:22:21,609 --> 01:22:23,110
People are threatening
a boycott.
2120
01:22:23,143 --> 01:22:24,445
They're pulling their donations.
2121
01:22:24,478 --> 01:22:25,446
There's just not enough proof.
2122
01:22:25,479 --> 01:22:27,047
(laughs):
Okay.
2123
01:22:27,080 --> 01:22:29,016
You want to put Lincoln
back in the closet? Fine!
2124
01:22:29,049 --> 01:22:30,484
-I'll put him back
in the closet! -Bobby.
2125
01:22:30,518 --> 01:22:32,720
-I'll put him back in
the fucking closet! -Bobby.
2126
01:22:32,754 --> 01:22:33,688
Here!
2127
01:22:33,721 --> 01:22:35,456
There you go!
2128
01:22:35,489 --> 01:22:38,358
Lincoln is back in the closet
where you all need him to be!
2129
01:22:38,392 --> 01:22:39,661
I'm on steroids!
2130
01:22:39,694 --> 01:22:40,695
Okay, Bobby, just calm down.
2131
01:22:40,728 --> 01:22:42,730
So, Angela and I have proposed
2132
01:22:42,764 --> 01:22:45,299
that the final exhibit
be called "Post-Gay."
2133
01:22:45,332 --> 01:22:46,233
Post-Gay?
2134
01:22:46,266 --> 01:22:49,369
Yes, because
just being gay is old news.
2135
01:22:49,403 --> 01:22:51,539
Okay, so,
now I'm too gay for Aaron,
2136
01:22:51,573 --> 01:22:53,006
but I'm too straight for you?
2137
01:22:53,040 --> 01:22:55,242
(sobs)
Will somebody please tell me
2138
01:22:55,275 --> 01:22:57,779
exactly how gay
I'm supposed to be?!
2139
01:22:57,812 --> 01:23:00,214
Poor Abraham Lincoln
can't even be gay now?!
2140
01:23:00,247 --> 01:23:01,783
Because he wasn't gay, Bobby.
2141
01:23:01,816 --> 01:23:04,284
-He was bi, and I have...
-BOBBY: Okay, enough!
2142
01:23:04,318 --> 01:23:06,386
You want to get rid
of our stories? Fine!
2143
01:23:06,420 --> 01:23:08,455
Let's get rid of them!
2144
01:23:08,489 --> 01:23:10,057
I have roid rage!
2145
01:23:10,090 --> 01:23:12,292
-(clamoring)
-Are you insane?
2146
01:23:12,326 --> 01:23:15,395
-Bobby...
-Yeah, bye-bye, Buttigieg!
2147
01:23:16,430 --> 01:23:17,532
-Stop it, Bobby.
-No!
2148
01:23:17,565 --> 01:23:19,567
-Bobby!
-Give-- No!
2149
01:23:19,601 --> 01:23:21,068
Give it to me!
2150
01:23:21,101 --> 01:23:23,103
-Put the flag down!
-No! Give it to me!
2151
01:23:23,136 --> 01:23:25,439
-Give it to...
-(gasping)
2152
01:23:25,472 --> 01:23:27,775
Angela and the lesbians,
hold him down.
2153
01:23:27,809 --> 01:23:30,377
-No! (straining)
-(urgent chatter)
2154
01:23:30,410 --> 01:23:33,180
-You're on steroids?
-You can't tell.
2155
01:23:33,213 --> 01:23:35,449
You know what?
I don't need this shit.
2156
01:23:35,482 --> 01:23:36,518
CHERRY:
Me neither.
2157
01:23:36,551 --> 01:23:38,252
Lesbians, disperse!
2158
01:23:38,285 --> 01:23:38,953
(groans)
2159
01:23:38,987 --> 01:23:40,555
ANGELA:
I hate the museum,
2160
01:23:40,588 --> 01:23:44,424
but most of all, I really
fucking hate storytelling.
2161
01:23:44,458 --> 01:23:46,393
(all gasping)
2162
01:23:46,426 --> 01:23:47,829
She doesn't like
telling stories.
2163
01:23:47,862 --> 01:23:49,229
ANGELA:
Maybe the final wing should be
2164
01:23:49,263 --> 01:23:51,465
a big empty room
where people can go
2165
01:23:51,498 --> 01:23:53,300
to just shut the fuck up!
2166
01:23:53,333 --> 01:23:54,636
Okay. Yeah.
2167
01:23:54,669 --> 01:23:56,738
Leave! All of you!
2168
01:23:56,771 --> 01:23:58,438
Oh, shit, my window.
2169
01:23:58,472 --> 01:24:00,374
My workout window!
2170
01:24:00,407 --> 01:24:03,611
("Drop the Bass"
by Simon Pettersson playing)
2171
01:24:21,161 --> 01:24:22,697
♪ Drop the bass. ♪
2172
01:24:22,730 --> 01:24:25,132
♪ ♪
2173
01:24:28,870 --> 01:24:31,171
(song continues faintly
over earbuds)
2174
01:24:31,204 --> 01:24:32,507
(macho voice):
Hey, bro.
2175
01:24:32,540 --> 01:24:34,842
-Hey, bro. What's up?
-What's up?
2176
01:24:34,876 --> 01:24:36,343
I'm Joel.
2177
01:24:36,376 --> 01:24:39,246
I'm... Rob.
2178
01:24:39,279 --> 01:24:40,715
Hey, can you help me
with this set, bro?
2179
01:24:40,748 --> 01:24:43,317
Yeah, sure, bro. Yeah.
2180
01:24:43,350 --> 01:24:45,085
Nice.
2181
01:24:45,887 --> 01:24:47,889
-You doing chest?
-Yep.
2182
01:24:47,922 --> 01:24:50,257
-Leg day for me, bro.
-Oh, nice.
2183
01:24:50,290 --> 01:24:51,759
Got to work on those hammies.
2184
01:24:51,793 --> 01:24:52,827
Yeah. (laughs)
2185
01:24:52,860 --> 01:24:54,194
Go put them all on.
2186
01:24:54,227 --> 01:24:55,630
Doing a superset today.
2187
01:24:55,663 --> 01:24:56,764
-Oh, superset?
-Yeah.
2188
01:24:56,798 --> 01:24:58,398
Yeah, superset.
2189
01:24:58,432 --> 01:24:59,266
Pack it up, bro.
2190
01:24:59,299 --> 01:25:00,735
-Lots of plates.
-Yeah.
2191
01:25:00,768 --> 01:25:02,402
I haven't seen this many plates
2192
01:25:02,436 --> 01:25:04,806
since, uh,
the Jewish holidays, bro.
2193
01:25:04,839 --> 01:25:06,507
-Nice, nice.
-Yeah.
2194
01:25:07,474 --> 01:25:08,275
(sighs)
2195
01:25:08,308 --> 01:25:10,645
We should hang out
again sometime.
2196
01:25:10,678 --> 01:25:11,879
Maybe watch a game?
2197
01:25:11,913 --> 01:25:13,146
(normal voice):
Yeah, I'd love that.
2198
01:25:13,180 --> 01:25:14,481
I'll give you my number.
2199
01:25:14,515 --> 01:25:16,651
Holy shit, dude.
What happened to your voice?
2200
01:25:16,684 --> 01:25:17,752
Oh, fuck.
2201
01:25:17,785 --> 01:25:20,454
Um, okay, I'm really sorry.
2202
01:25:20,487 --> 01:25:23,423
But, um--
I know this is very strange,
2203
01:25:23,457 --> 01:25:26,159
but when I-I, when I walked
up to you in the gym,
2204
01:25:26,193 --> 01:25:28,362
I-I just did this voice,
you know?
2205
01:25:28,395 --> 01:25:29,564
Like, you know, like,
2206
01:25:29,597 --> 01:25:30,898
(macho voice):
"Hey, bro. What's up?"
2207
01:25:30,932 --> 01:25:31,899
(normal voice):
I-I don't know.
2208
01:25:31,933 --> 01:25:33,266
I just was trying it.
2209
01:25:33,300 --> 01:25:34,636
Holy shit,
are you a serial killer?
2210
01:25:34,669 --> 01:25:36,504
Are you gonna fucking
kill a bro right now?
2211
01:25:36,537 --> 01:25:38,472
No, no, no. I'm not killing
a bro. I'm so sorry.
2212
01:25:38,506 --> 01:25:40,307
No, this is weird.
I'm sorry. I'll go.
2213
01:25:40,340 --> 01:25:42,175
Yeah, you need to leave
right now.
2214
01:25:42,209 --> 01:25:43,377
But it kind of worked, right?
2215
01:25:43,410 --> 01:25:44,512
Like, that's what's weird
about it...
2216
01:25:44,545 --> 01:25:45,412
Dude, hurry up, man.
2217
01:25:45,445 --> 01:25:46,914
I know, but just the fact
that I was like,
2218
01:25:46,948 --> 01:25:48,348
(macho voice):
"Hey, bro. What's up?"
2219
01:25:48,382 --> 01:25:49,182
(normal voice):
Okay, I'm leaving.
2220
01:25:49,216 --> 01:25:50,518
I'm so sorry.
2221
01:25:50,551 --> 01:25:52,252
I'm going through
a very hard time right now.
2222
01:25:52,285 --> 01:25:53,788
-I ain't ask for all that.
-Okay.
2223
01:25:53,821 --> 01:25:55,823
I'm sorry. I'm going. I'm going.
2224
01:25:55,857 --> 01:25:57,592
Can I just ask you
one thing, though?
2225
01:25:57,625 --> 01:26:00,962
If I had come up to you
and used my real voice,
2226
01:26:00,995 --> 01:26:02,764
would you have been
attracted to me?
2227
01:26:02,797 --> 01:26:04,264
Wow.
2228
01:26:04,297 --> 01:26:07,200
That is really sad, but...
2229
01:26:07,234 --> 01:26:09,403
Yeah, I think so.
2230
01:26:09,436 --> 01:26:10,738
Oh.
2231
01:26:10,772 --> 01:26:12,406
But not now.
2232
01:26:13,407 --> 01:26:14,909
Okay.
2233
01:26:14,942 --> 01:26:16,443
I'm really sorry.
2234
01:26:21,783 --> 01:26:23,551
-Streisand?
-Of course.
2235
01:26:23,584 --> 01:26:24,451
I love her.
2236
01:26:24,484 --> 01:26:26,988
-She's the best.
-Streisand fucking rules.
2237
01:26:27,021 --> 01:26:29,624
This is actually kind of like
Yentl, if you think about it.
2238
01:26:29,657 --> 01:26:32,325
-Dude, get the fuck out!
-I'm so sorry.
2239
01:26:33,326 --> 01:26:35,228
(macho voice):
Later.
2240
01:26:35,262 --> 01:26:36,898
(normal voice):
Sorry.
2241
01:26:36,931 --> 01:26:39,266
ANNOUNCER (over TV): And now,
Hallheart proudly presents
2242
01:26:39,299 --> 01:26:41,903
our first polyamorous
holiday film,
2243
01:26:41,936 --> 01:26:43,705
A Holly, Poly Christmas.
2244
01:26:43,738 --> 01:26:46,007
Look, it's snowing.
2245
01:26:46,040 --> 01:26:48,843
-It's snowing on
all seven of us. -(laughter)
2246
01:26:48,876 --> 01:26:50,712
Oh, man.
2247
01:26:50,745 --> 01:26:52,980
(laughter, excited chatter)
2248
01:26:53,014 --> 01:26:54,782
(sniffles)
2249
01:26:55,683 --> 01:26:58,218
-(dance music playing)
-(lively chatter)
2250
01:27:07,294 --> 01:27:09,229
AARON:
Hey.
2251
01:27:09,797 --> 01:27:11,231
Hey.
2252
01:27:12,533 --> 01:27:13,768
Can we talk?
2253
01:27:15,036 --> 01:27:16,771
Okay.
2254
01:27:22,910 --> 01:27:24,679
So, what's up?
2255
01:27:25,646 --> 01:27:28,883
Bobby, I am so sorry
I told you not to be yourself.
2256
01:27:28,916 --> 01:27:31,886
I know I fucked up,
but this is new for me, too.
2257
01:27:31,919 --> 01:27:35,556
And when you blew up in front
of my parents, honestly, it...
2258
01:27:37,091 --> 01:27:39,594
...it felt like
you were doing it on purpose.
2259
01:27:39,627 --> 01:27:41,829
I was.
2260
01:27:41,863 --> 01:27:43,463
And I'm sorry.
2261
01:27:43,497 --> 01:27:46,834
I shouldn't have handled it
like that. You're right.
2262
01:27:46,868 --> 01:27:48,803
I'm sorry.
2263
01:27:50,772 --> 01:27:53,007
But, Aaron,
2264
01:27:53,040 --> 01:27:55,810
that doesn't
change the fact that
2265
01:27:55,843 --> 01:27:57,912
you like a certain type of guy.
2266
01:27:57,945 --> 01:28:01,281
And that isn't me,
and that's okay.
2267
01:28:02,884 --> 01:28:05,052
You're right.
2268
01:28:05,086 --> 01:28:07,989
I always pictured myself
with a guy...
2269
01:28:08,022 --> 01:28:09,757
-Like Josh.
-Yeah, a guy like Josh.
2270
01:28:09,791 --> 01:28:11,659
Yeah, he's hot.
2271
01:28:11,692 --> 01:28:13,795
Yes, he's simple,
conventional, basic as hell
2272
01:28:13,828 --> 01:28:16,429
and not somebody
that actually makes me happy.
2273
01:28:18,099 --> 01:28:20,067
Bobby, you are
so different from me.
2274
01:28:20,101 --> 01:28:22,937
You're not afraid
to take up space in the world.
2275
01:28:22,970 --> 01:28:24,471
You challenge me.
2276
01:28:24,505 --> 01:28:26,473
Which at first,
it freaked me out
2277
01:28:26,507 --> 01:28:29,844
because who the fuck wants
to be challenged all the time?
2278
01:28:29,877 --> 01:28:31,444
But...
2279
01:28:34,015 --> 01:28:35,883
But I love it.
2280
01:28:37,450 --> 01:28:38,920
You're what's been missing.
2281
01:28:38,953 --> 01:28:42,455
I know I fucked up, but
please give me another chance.
2282
01:28:42,489 --> 01:28:44,357
I miss you so much.
2283
01:28:44,391 --> 01:28:46,594
I miss you, too.
2284
01:28:48,563 --> 01:28:50,598
A lot.
2285
01:28:51,866 --> 01:28:53,801
I didn't realize
until after we broke up
2286
01:28:53,835 --> 01:28:57,470
there were actually a couple
of months there where I was...
2287
01:28:57,505 --> 01:28:59,941
What do they call it?
2288
01:28:59,974 --> 01:29:01,742
In a good mood.
2289
01:29:08,049 --> 01:29:10,483
(train passing)
2290
01:29:17,191 --> 01:29:18,759
But I can't.
2291
01:29:22,029 --> 01:29:25,800
My whole life, I have prided
myself on being self-aware
2292
01:29:25,833 --> 01:29:28,870
and self-reliant
and self-possessed,
2293
01:29:28,903 --> 01:29:31,471
and it didn't matter.
2294
01:29:31,505 --> 01:29:33,541
It didn't matter because,
at the end of the day,
2295
01:29:33,574 --> 01:29:35,442
I just ended up in the street
2296
01:29:35,475 --> 01:29:37,745
(laughs): looking at you
and looking at Josh
2297
01:29:37,778 --> 01:29:40,882
and thinking,
"I'm not enough for him."
2298
01:29:40,915 --> 01:29:42,583
I know, and I feel awful,
2299
01:29:42,617 --> 01:29:44,886
but do not throw this away
because of one mistake!
2300
01:29:44,919 --> 01:29:46,821
Wh-What do you want me to do?
2301
01:29:46,854 --> 01:29:48,756
Say you'll give me
another chance.
2302
01:29:48,789 --> 01:29:50,758
I can't do that.
2303
01:29:50,791 --> 01:29:51,959
Why not?
2304
01:29:52,960 --> 01:29:55,395
'Cause I don't trust you.
2305
01:29:59,567 --> 01:30:01,202
I've been alone so long,
who knows?
2306
01:30:01,235 --> 01:30:03,504
Maybe that's the only way
I know how to be.
2307
01:30:03,537 --> 01:30:05,405
I don't know.
2308
01:30:13,214 --> 01:30:15,516
I'm going.
2309
01:30:15,549 --> 01:30:18,519
(machine beeping)
2310
01:30:22,223 --> 01:30:24,659
-(machine chimes)
-(whispers): It's good.
2311
01:30:24,692 --> 01:30:26,594
Hey!
2312
01:30:29,096 --> 01:30:31,766
If you don't trust me,
that's fine.
2313
01:30:32,633 --> 01:30:33,935
But if for some reason,
2314
01:30:33,968 --> 01:30:35,770
underneath all that strength
and confidence,
2315
01:30:35,803 --> 01:30:38,072
you still don't trust
that you are lovable enough,
2316
01:30:38,105 --> 01:30:41,108
I'm living proof...
2317
01:30:41,142 --> 01:30:42,877
that you're wrong.
2318
01:30:42,910 --> 01:30:44,979
♪ ♪
2319
01:30:55,990 --> 01:30:57,758
(sharp thud)
2320
01:30:58,793 --> 01:31:00,861
♪ ♪
2321
01:31:06,901 --> 01:31:09,070
BOBBY:
First of all, thank you all
2322
01:31:09,103 --> 01:31:10,071
for letting me do this.
2323
01:31:10,104 --> 01:31:11,706
I really appreciate it.
2324
01:31:11,739 --> 01:31:13,240
Look, I know I've been
2325
01:31:13,274 --> 01:31:17,511
a very angry,
judgmental person, obviously.
2326
01:31:17,545 --> 01:31:18,746
And sometimes anger can be good.
2327
01:31:18,779 --> 01:31:20,247
I know you all know that
because, for years,
2328
01:31:20,281 --> 01:31:21,949
it was the fuel we all needed
to keep going.
2329
01:31:21,983 --> 01:31:24,652
It wasn't that long ago
that the straight gatekeepers
2330
01:31:24,685 --> 01:31:26,520
of the world
didn't allow for all of us
2331
01:31:26,554 --> 01:31:28,055
to really succeed in a big way.
2332
01:31:28,089 --> 01:31:30,758
Oh, my God. Do you guys
remember straight people?
2333
01:31:30,791 --> 01:31:33,127
Yeah, they had a nice run.
(chuckles)
2334
01:31:33,160 --> 01:31:35,830
Look, Bobby, I'm a Black trans
woman, and I don't need you
2335
01:31:35,863 --> 01:31:38,065
to come here
and lecture me about anger.
2336
01:31:38,099 --> 01:31:40,668
But I get it.
2337
01:31:40,701 --> 01:31:42,903
WANDA:
I am brimming
2338
01:31:42,937 --> 01:31:44,672
with anger.
2339
01:31:44,705 --> 01:31:47,041
And if I were to let
just an ounce of it out,
2340
01:31:47,074 --> 01:31:50,578
I would probably explode
and kill every one of you.
2341
01:31:50,611 --> 01:31:53,114
But, Bobby, I want you
to know something.
2342
01:31:53,147 --> 01:31:55,082
I hear you.
2343
01:31:55,116 --> 01:31:56,884
And I forgive you.
2344
01:31:56,917 --> 01:31:58,219
You do?
2345
01:31:58,252 --> 01:31:59,687
Yes.
2346
01:31:59,720 --> 01:32:01,155
BOBBY:
Look, this is the only community
2347
01:32:01,188 --> 01:32:03,057
I've ever loved being a part of.
2348
01:32:03,090 --> 01:32:07,094
And we fight like crazy,
and we always have, but...
2349
01:32:08,596 --> 01:32:10,598
...you're my people.
2350
01:32:11,732 --> 01:32:15,936
And I am so sorry that I was
so rude and spoke down to you.
2351
01:32:15,970 --> 01:32:17,938
I should've shown you
much more respect.
2352
01:32:17,972 --> 01:32:21,275
There is truly
no group of people on earth
2353
01:32:21,308 --> 01:32:23,110
that I love and respect more.
2354
01:32:23,144 --> 01:32:25,946
Well, I am not going to lie.
I am still angry.
2355
01:32:25,980 --> 01:32:30,684
But I insist on progress,
not just for our LGBTQ heroes
2356
01:32:30,718 --> 01:32:34,789
but for our LGBTQ assholes.
2357
01:32:34,822 --> 01:32:35,589
Like you.
2358
01:32:35,623 --> 01:32:37,758
Thank you, Robert.
2359
01:32:37,792 --> 01:32:38,759
♪ ♪
2360
01:32:38,793 --> 01:32:42,296
The live of this apology
has like 40K viewers.
2361
01:32:42,329 --> 01:32:43,864
You're posting this?
2362
01:32:43,898 --> 01:32:45,332
Can you please--
2363
01:32:45,366 --> 01:32:46,734
No, okay. Yeah.
2364
01:32:46,767 --> 01:32:48,135
No, you should
definitely post this.
2365
01:32:48,169 --> 01:32:49,870
Everything should...
everything should be posted,
2366
01:32:49,904 --> 01:32:51,872
and thank you
for teaching me that.
2367
01:32:53,874 --> 01:32:56,010
("Turn to Hate"
by Orville Peck playing)
2368
01:32:56,043 --> 01:32:57,812
(sighs)
2369
01:33:10,991 --> 01:33:12,660
♪ Don't leave ♪
2370
01:33:12,693 --> 01:33:14,862
♪ Don't cry ♪
2371
01:33:14,895 --> 01:33:18,699
♪ You're just another boy
caught in the rye ♪
2372
01:33:18,732 --> 01:33:21,635
Hey. I've decided to quit.
2373
01:33:21,669 --> 01:33:24,105
-I just quit, too.
-You did?
2374
01:33:24,138 --> 01:33:26,273
I do this Kamala Harris
impression online,
2375
01:33:26,307 --> 01:33:27,675
and it's really taken off.
2376
01:33:27,708 --> 01:33:29,009
-Oh.
-Yeah, like--
2377
01:33:29,043 --> 01:33:31,378
(imitating Kamala Harris):
I'm Kamala Harris.
2378
01:33:31,412 --> 01:33:32,680
Okay?
2379
01:33:32,713 --> 01:33:35,149
-(laughing)
-(chuckles)
2380
01:33:35,182 --> 01:33:36,951
Good luck with that.
2381
01:33:36,984 --> 01:33:39,286
(normal voice): Yeah, good luck
with whatever you're doing.
2382
01:33:39,320 --> 01:33:41,222
-Thank you.
-(chuckles)
2383
01:33:41,255 --> 01:33:43,624
♪ ♪
2384
01:33:46,760 --> 01:33:48,229
(phone dings)
2385
01:33:50,030 --> 01:33:53,734
Hey, Bobby, I wanted you to be
the first person to see this.
2386
01:33:53,767 --> 01:33:55,703
This is Aaron Shepard's
Chocolate Factory.
2387
01:33:55,736 --> 01:33:57,738
I made these little chocolates.
2388
01:33:57,771 --> 01:33:59,807
I also made some special treats
2389
01:33:59,840 --> 01:34:04,345
to celebrate the opening
of the LGBTQ+ Museum.
2390
01:34:04,378 --> 01:34:06,280
These are Harvey Milk Duds.
2391
01:34:06,313 --> 01:34:08,949
And instead of a heart-shaped
Valentine's Day box
2392
01:34:08,983 --> 01:34:11,285
filled with chocolates,
we have a pink
2393
01:34:11,318 --> 01:34:14,755
"silence equals death" triangle
filled with chocolates.
2394
01:34:14,788 --> 01:34:17,691
And a tribute to my favorite
gay television character,
2395
01:34:17,725 --> 01:34:19,393
this is...
2396
01:34:19,426 --> 01:34:21,896
a Tirami-Susan from Friends.
2397
01:34:21,929 --> 01:34:24,431
Of course Aaron likes Friends.
2398
01:34:24,465 --> 01:34:26,901
Of course, all the profits
go to the museum.
2399
01:34:26,934 --> 01:34:28,836
Okay.
2400
01:34:28,869 --> 01:34:30,671
Bye.
2401
01:34:32,406 --> 01:34:37,978
♪ It's all right ♪
2402
01:34:38,812 --> 01:34:43,984
♪ It's all right ♪
2403
01:34:44,852 --> 01:34:47,454
-♪ It's all right. ♪
-(song fades)
2404
01:34:47,488 --> 01:34:49,790
Dude, thanks for
letting me crash here.
2405
01:34:49,823 --> 01:34:54,094
I know Mom pressured you
into inviting me, but...
2406
01:34:54,128 --> 01:34:55,963
it's cool of you.
2407
01:34:57,031 --> 01:34:58,832
Yeah, sure.
2408
01:34:58,866 --> 01:35:01,335
-You okay, bro?
-Yeah, I'm fine.
2409
01:35:01,368 --> 01:35:03,871
I'm a very happy chocolatier.
2410
01:35:06,440 --> 01:35:08,842
I mean, there was that guy.
2411
01:35:09,877 --> 01:35:12,479
But it's over.
Whatever. I'm fine.
2412
01:35:12,514 --> 01:35:15,115
Yeah, totally.
2413
01:35:15,916 --> 01:35:17,151
Jesus, how do you decapitate?
2414
01:35:17,184 --> 01:35:19,353
Seriously, that's all
you're gonna say?
2415
01:35:19,386 --> 01:35:21,088
"How do you decapitate?"
2416
01:35:21,121 --> 01:35:22,756
What do you want me to say?
How do you remove their heads?
2417
01:35:22,790 --> 01:35:23,958
What about,
"Hey, bro, how are you doing?
2418
01:35:23,991 --> 01:35:25,259
How are you holding up?"
2419
01:35:25,292 --> 01:35:27,461
I'm sorry, bro.
We don't talk about this shit.
2420
01:35:27,494 --> 01:35:30,798
I'm-I'm crashing here because
I'm in the middle of a divorce,
2421
01:35:30,831 --> 01:35:32,933
and you haven't asked me
about it once.
2422
01:35:34,068 --> 01:35:35,202
I'm sorry.
2423
01:35:36,403 --> 01:35:38,439
So, how's the divorce?
2424
01:35:38,472 --> 01:35:41,242
-I don't want to talk about it.
-Okay.
2425
01:35:41,275 --> 01:35:42,977
So...
2426
01:35:44,278 --> 01:35:45,946
...what happened to you?
2427
01:35:45,980 --> 01:35:49,250
Okay, you remember at Christmas
when Mom and Dad came?
2428
01:35:49,283 --> 01:35:51,185
I asked Bobby to...
2429
01:35:51,218 --> 01:35:53,020
(sighs)
2430
01:35:53,053 --> 01:35:55,022
I asked him to tone it down.
2431
01:35:56,056 --> 01:35:58,325
I know. I know.
I fucked up. I panicked.
2432
01:35:58,359 --> 01:35:59,793
(Aaron sighs)
2433
01:35:59,827 --> 01:36:01,895
(stammers) Did you try
2434
01:36:01,929 --> 01:36:03,864
-to get him back or...
-Yes.
2435
01:36:03,897 --> 01:36:04,999
I mean, Bobby is the best,
2436
01:36:05,032 --> 01:36:06,534
but he is
a stubborn son of a bitch.
2437
01:36:06,568 --> 01:36:11,238
And do you love
this stubborn little bitch?
2438
01:36:17,945 --> 01:36:20,214
Whatever. It's over.
2439
01:36:20,247 --> 01:36:22,816
Bobby's strong.
He doesn't need me.
2440
01:36:23,518 --> 01:36:25,152
He doesn't need anyone.
2441
01:36:25,185 --> 01:36:26,186
♪ So alive ♪
2442
01:36:26,220 --> 01:36:29,423
♪ Loving the feeling,
learning the meaning... ♪
2443
01:36:29,456 --> 01:36:31,559
Hey, guys.
It's your girl Tamara.
2444
01:36:31,593 --> 01:36:33,561
We're opening
the LGBT Museum tonight.
2445
01:36:33,595 --> 01:36:35,229
Tonight is our grand opening,
2446
01:36:35,262 --> 01:36:37,599
and we're gonna have
a wonderful time!
2447
01:36:37,632 --> 01:36:39,066
EDGAR:
Yeah!
2448
01:36:39,099 --> 01:36:41,268
-What's up?
-What's up?
2449
01:36:41,302 --> 01:36:42,504
(cameras clicking)
2450
01:36:42,537 --> 01:36:45,306
(over speakers):
Hi. I'm Leonardo da Vinci.
2451
01:36:45,339 --> 01:36:47,074
I changed the world with my work
2452
01:36:47,107 --> 01:36:50,144
as an inventor,
scientist and artist.
2453
01:36:50,177 --> 01:36:53,615
But most importantly,
I may have been bi.
2454
01:36:53,648 --> 01:36:56,183
Arrivederci.
2455
01:36:56,216 --> 01:36:59,853
(people screaming in terror
over speakers)
2456
01:36:59,887 --> 01:37:02,189
-(Lawrence laughing maniacally)
-(Tina gasps)
2457
01:37:02,222 --> 01:37:05,593
Congrats. You've made it
to the Obama administration.
2458
01:37:05,627 --> 01:37:07,494
But what's that
around the corner?
2459
01:37:07,529 --> 01:37:09,496
(distorted maniacal laughing)
2460
01:37:09,531 --> 01:37:11,298
(lively chatter)
2461
01:37:14,101 --> 01:37:16,403
Okay, seriously,
this place is incredible.
2462
01:37:16,437 --> 01:37:18,972
-Are you happy?
-I don't know.
2463
01:37:19,006 --> 01:37:20,341
It's weird, you know?
2464
01:37:20,374 --> 01:37:23,243
Like, this place was my dream,
then it happened.
2465
01:37:24,211 --> 01:37:26,013
(sighs) Why can't I answer
your question?
2466
01:37:26,046 --> 01:37:28,650
-Okay, can I just say
one thing? -Yes.
2467
01:37:28,683 --> 01:37:30,618
I know that
what he did was wrong,
2468
01:37:30,652 --> 01:37:32,286
but you didn't have to argue
with his parents.
2469
01:37:32,319 --> 01:37:34,589
I did, though.
Plus, I apologized.
2470
01:37:34,622 --> 01:37:36,123
And he apologized, too.
2471
01:37:36,156 --> 01:37:37,891
I just don't know
if I can trust him.
2472
01:37:37,925 --> 01:37:39,493
He fucked up. People fuck up.
2473
01:37:39,527 --> 01:37:40,961
Is there no part of you
2474
01:37:40,994 --> 01:37:42,930
that wants to give him
a second chance?
2475
01:37:43,931 --> 01:37:45,999
You know what it is?
2476
01:37:46,033 --> 01:37:48,570
I just don't want
to want someone else this much.
2477
01:37:48,603 --> 01:37:50,070
But you do.
2478
01:37:50,104 --> 01:37:52,139
It doesn't make you look weak
to love someone.
2479
01:37:52,172 --> 01:37:54,542
Vulnerability is not
a boner killer.
2480
01:37:54,576 --> 01:37:56,377
-(chuckles)
-I know you.
2481
01:37:56,410 --> 01:37:58,513
I know that you've had
a million reasons
2482
01:37:58,546 --> 01:38:00,515
to keep your guard up
all these years.
2483
01:38:00,548 --> 01:38:02,015
But there are people out there
2484
01:38:02,049 --> 01:38:03,250
worth letting
your guard down for.
2485
01:38:03,283 --> 01:38:07,020
Were you happier
with him or without him?
2486
01:38:07,054 --> 01:38:08,422
That's all that really matters.
2487
01:38:08,455 --> 01:38:10,592
Can I tell you something
extremely embarrassing
2488
01:38:10,625 --> 01:38:12,226
that I would only tell you?
2489
01:38:12,259 --> 01:38:13,427
Yes.
2490
01:38:13,460 --> 01:38:15,530
I wrote a song about him.
2491
01:38:15,563 --> 01:38:17,532
-(gasps)
-I know! That's the only time
2492
01:38:17,565 --> 01:38:18,600
I'm ever gonna talk about it.
2493
01:38:18,633 --> 01:38:20,067
We're not talking about it.
2494
01:38:20,100 --> 01:38:22,002
I didn't send it,
and I'm not sending it.
2495
01:38:22,035 --> 01:38:24,071
Okay. Fine.
2496
01:38:24,104 --> 01:38:27,141
I've just never seen you
that happy is all.
2497
01:38:27,174 --> 01:38:28,976
And I love seeing it.
2498
01:38:30,177 --> 01:38:31,613
-(Brian laughs)
-Hi, guys.
2499
01:38:31,646 --> 01:38:33,715
-Hi, sweetie.
-Ready to go dance?
2500
01:38:33,748 --> 01:38:35,482
-Yeah.
-Let's go.
2501
01:38:41,288 --> 01:38:43,323
♪ ♪
2502
01:38:47,294 --> 01:38:49,129
(sighs)
2503
01:39:10,718 --> 01:39:12,186
(phone chimes)
2504
01:39:12,219 --> 01:39:14,388
(sighs)
2505
01:39:14,421 --> 01:39:16,290
Holy shit. He texted me.
2506
01:39:16,323 --> 01:39:18,425
-Bobby texted me!
-Well, what'd he say?
2507
01:39:18,459 --> 01:39:21,462
He said, "Hey, what's up?"
2508
01:39:21,495 --> 01:39:23,063
"Hey, what's up?"
2509
01:39:23,096 --> 01:39:24,566
-Fuck yeah, bro!
-Yeah?
2510
01:39:24,599 --> 01:39:26,601
-That's what I'm talking about!
-Yeah? That's good? Yeah!
2511
01:39:26,634 --> 01:39:28,068
It's great! "Hey, what's up?"
2512
01:39:28,101 --> 01:39:30,204
BOTH: "Hey, what's up?"
"Hey, what's up?"
2513
01:39:30,237 --> 01:39:32,239
-No, wait. No, wait, wait.
-What?
2514
01:39:32,272 --> 01:39:33,373
Okay, yeah.
2515
01:39:33,407 --> 01:39:35,209
I-I'm gonna wait to text him
back, though, you know?
2516
01:39:35,242 --> 01:39:37,311
Ah, shit.
I got to get to the gym.
2517
01:39:37,344 --> 01:39:40,347
Aaron, what the fuck is up with
you and the CrossFit every day?
2518
01:39:40,380 --> 01:39:42,550
Jesus! What are you people
all training for?
2519
01:39:42,584 --> 01:39:43,718
You going to war?
2520
01:39:43,751 --> 01:39:45,687
Stop playing it so cool.
2521
01:39:45,720 --> 01:39:47,755
Just go and tell him
how you feel.
2522
01:39:47,789 --> 01:39:49,757
Oh, what about you?
What about divorce?
2523
01:39:49,791 --> 01:39:51,358
What about keeping it
young and fun?
2524
01:39:51,391 --> 01:39:52,292
Oh, whatever.
2525
01:39:52,326 --> 01:39:54,428
Straight people--
we're so set in our ways.
2526
01:39:54,461 --> 01:39:56,764
But gay people--
you guys are all so--
2527
01:39:56,798 --> 01:39:58,031
you're so smart.
2528
01:39:58,065 --> 01:40:00,033
You're gonna figure it out.
2529
01:40:00,067 --> 01:40:03,170
My story is not your story.
2530
01:40:03,203 --> 01:40:05,239
Go write your own damn story.
2531
01:40:05,840 --> 01:40:08,242
-Go! Now!
-Okay. Yeah.
2532
01:40:09,343 --> 01:40:11,178
(sighs) Hey.
2533
01:40:12,412 --> 01:40:13,515
(grunts)
2534
01:40:13,548 --> 01:40:14,716
(clears throat)
2535
01:40:14,749 --> 01:40:16,183
(shouts):
"Hey, what's up?"
2536
01:40:16,216 --> 01:40:17,652
-"Hey, what's up?" Yeah!
-"Hey, what's up?"
2537
01:40:17,685 --> 01:40:20,120
♪ ♪
2538
01:40:39,439 --> 01:40:40,708
-Bobby?
-Yeah?
2539
01:40:40,742 --> 01:40:42,577
-It's time for the toast.
-Okay, great.
2540
01:40:42,610 --> 01:40:44,177
Okay.
2541
01:40:53,287 --> 01:40:56,356
WANDA: One of the hardest parts
of putting the museum together
2542
01:40:56,390 --> 01:40:59,627
was figuring out what
the final exhibit would be.
2543
01:40:59,661 --> 01:41:03,330
The message we'd leave people
with about who we are.
2544
01:41:03,363 --> 01:41:06,701
But the truth is
we are not one thing.
2545
01:41:06,734 --> 01:41:09,236
We are not a monolithic group.
2546
01:41:09,269 --> 01:41:12,574
We are some of the smartest
and most self-reliant people
2547
01:41:12,607 --> 01:41:14,207
you will ever meet.
2548
01:41:14,241 --> 01:41:15,810
And we are so stupid.
2549
01:41:15,843 --> 01:41:17,110
(laughter)
2550
01:41:17,144 --> 01:41:18,713
And we are a total mess.
2551
01:41:18,746 --> 01:41:21,214
And we are great.
2552
01:41:21,248 --> 01:41:23,450
We've been around since the
beginning of time, of course,
2553
01:41:23,483 --> 01:41:26,320
and yet it still feels like
we're at the very beginning
2554
01:41:26,353 --> 01:41:28,322
of being able to tell
our own stories.
2555
01:41:28,355 --> 01:41:30,457
In many ways,
I think we're still
2556
01:41:30,490 --> 01:41:32,527
getting to know
each other, really.
2557
01:41:32,560 --> 01:41:35,329
Now, I'm just
a boring old cis white gay,
2558
01:41:35,362 --> 01:41:36,831
-but... (chuckles)
-(laughter)
2559
01:41:36,864 --> 01:41:39,299
one thing I have learned from
2560
01:41:39,333 --> 01:41:42,336
my trans and bi
and nonbinary family is that
2561
01:41:42,369 --> 01:41:46,206
happiness for all of us
comes from staying fluid,
2562
01:41:46,239 --> 01:41:47,742
staying open to change.
2563
01:41:47,775 --> 01:41:51,345
Open to being more than
just who you thought you were
2564
01:41:51,378 --> 01:41:54,381
or more than what other people
assume you are.
2565
01:41:54,414 --> 01:41:56,751
So this is a toast to all of us.
2566
01:41:56,784 --> 01:41:59,654
We've come a long way.
2567
01:41:59,687 --> 01:42:01,488
And there are a lot of people
2568
01:42:01,522 --> 01:42:05,359
who deserved to live
long enough to be here tonight.
2569
01:42:05,392 --> 01:42:09,429
And we are here,
and they are not.
2570
01:42:10,665 --> 01:42:12,667
And we are very lucky.
2571
01:42:15,536 --> 01:42:17,572
We are very lucky.
2572
01:42:19,574 --> 01:42:21,609
I have no complaints.
2573
01:42:24,779 --> 01:42:26,648
♪ ♪
2574
01:42:29,851 --> 01:42:31,385
(softly):
Hey.
2575
01:42:34,555 --> 01:42:35,957
Hey.
2576
01:42:35,990 --> 01:42:38,291
Um...
2577
01:42:39,594 --> 01:42:41,929
Sorry, um-- Just, um--
2578
01:42:41,963 --> 01:42:43,831
One more thing. Sorry, hold on.
2579
01:42:43,865 --> 01:42:45,700
I'm gonna do it.
Let's do it. Let's do it.
2580
01:42:48,836 --> 01:42:51,906
(quiet murmuring)
2581
01:42:51,939 --> 01:42:53,675
(whispers):
Hi.
2582
01:42:53,708 --> 01:42:54,742
(clears throat)
2583
01:42:57,712 --> 01:42:59,413
BOBBY:
So, um,
2584
01:42:59,446 --> 01:43:02,583
this is a little special
something I wrote for tonight,
2585
01:43:02,617 --> 01:43:05,252
and I didn't think
I would actually have
2586
01:43:05,285 --> 01:43:06,954
a reason to sing it.
2587
01:43:06,988 --> 01:43:09,222
And I haven't sung in front of
people in a very long time,
2588
01:43:09,256 --> 01:43:10,357
so forgive me.
2589
01:43:10,390 --> 01:43:12,459
But, um, tonight is about love,
2590
01:43:12,492 --> 01:43:15,429
and we've seen
a lot of tortured gay cowboys
2591
01:43:15,462 --> 01:43:17,999
played by a lot of
straight actors over the years.
2592
01:43:18,032 --> 01:43:19,734
(laughter)
2593
01:43:19,767 --> 01:43:22,737
So, this is a love song
from one gay cowboy to another,
2594
01:43:22,770 --> 01:43:27,508
inspired by everyone's favorite
LGBTQ+ icon,
2595
01:43:27,542 --> 01:43:29,677
Garth Brooks.
2596
01:43:29,711 --> 01:43:30,712
(laughter)
2597
01:43:30,745 --> 01:43:32,747
(laughs)
2598
01:43:33,981 --> 01:43:36,751
(guitar playing gentle music)
2599
01:43:39,386 --> 01:43:42,456
♪ We met at the club ♪
2600
01:43:42,489 --> 01:43:46,259
♪ Mariah Carey remix on ♪
2601
01:43:46,293 --> 01:43:48,395
♪ Oh, the boys in harnesses ♪
2602
01:43:48,428 --> 01:43:51,833
♪ You didn't recognize
the song ♪
2603
01:43:51,866 --> 01:43:54,234
♪ You took me up ♪
2604
01:43:55,435 --> 01:43:57,739
♪ Up to Provincetown ♪
2605
01:43:57,772 --> 01:44:00,942
♪ Where, for years,
the deviant boys ♪
2606
01:44:00,975 --> 01:44:03,878
♪ Have run around ♪
2607
01:44:03,911 --> 01:44:06,346
♪ 'Cause love is not love ♪
2608
01:44:06,379 --> 01:44:11,284
♪ Our love is real ♪
2609
01:44:11,318 --> 01:44:16,924
♪ And I'm nervous as hell
to tell you how I feel ♪
2610
01:44:16,958 --> 01:44:23,765
♪ 'Cause after all these years
of running round ♪
2611
01:44:23,798 --> 01:44:29,302
♪ It's nice to have somebody
slowing down ♪
2612
01:44:29,336 --> 01:44:32,507
♪ 'Cause love is not love ♪
2613
01:44:32,540 --> 01:44:36,778
♪ Our love is free ♪
2614
01:44:36,811 --> 01:44:42,683
♪ I'll let you be you
and you let me be me ♪
2615
01:44:42,717 --> 01:44:45,385
♪ And we can wrestle
on the bed ♪
2616
01:44:45,418 --> 01:44:47,688
♪ I love when you pin me
to the ground ♪
2617
01:44:47,722 --> 01:44:51,559
♪ But if I tell you
how much I love you, boy ♪
2618
01:44:51,592 --> 01:44:54,061
♪ Will you stick around? ♪
2619
01:44:54,095 --> 01:44:57,064
♪ And you can lift me up ♪
2620
01:44:57,098 --> 01:45:00,034
♪ And I will calm you down ♪
2621
01:45:00,067 --> 01:45:01,669
♪ I've made a lot of noise ♪
2622
01:45:01,702 --> 01:45:07,440
♪ But only you can hear me now ♪
2623
01:45:09,110 --> 01:45:12,914
♪ 'Cause love is not love ♪
2624
01:45:12,947 --> 01:45:16,584
♪ This love is real ♪
2625
01:45:16,617 --> 01:45:18,586
♪ I hope you feel the same ♪
2626
01:45:18,619 --> 01:45:23,423
♪ 'Cause this is how I feel ♪
2627
01:45:23,456 --> 01:45:25,693
♪ And I'm tired of
being angry, babe ♪
2628
01:45:25,726 --> 01:45:28,563
♪ And I'm sick of being strong ♪
2629
01:45:28,596 --> 01:45:31,966
♪ And I know
a lot of cynical assholes ♪
2630
01:45:31,999 --> 01:45:34,569
♪ Who will hate this song ♪
2631
01:45:34,602 --> 01:45:37,839
♪ 'Cause it's an open heart ♪
2632
01:45:37,872 --> 01:45:40,975
♪ It's a second chance ♪
2633
01:45:41,008 --> 01:45:43,476
♪ It's finding your first love ♪
2634
01:45:43,511 --> 01:45:45,913
♪ As a 40-year-old man ♪
2635
01:45:45,947 --> 01:45:49,851
♪ And we don't have to
get married, babe ♪
2636
01:45:49,884 --> 01:45:52,620
♪ This is our romance ♪
2637
01:45:52,653 --> 01:45:55,523
♪ And just because we're gay ♪
2638
01:45:55,556 --> 01:46:01,529
♪ Doesn't mean
we have to dance ♪
2639
01:46:01,562 --> 01:46:06,734
♪ 'Cause love is not ♪
2640
01:46:06,767 --> 01:46:09,737
♪ Love is not ♪
2641
01:46:09,770 --> 01:46:16,577
♪ Love is not... ♪
2642
01:46:18,779 --> 01:46:21,816
♪ Love. ♪
2643
01:46:21,849 --> 01:46:23,751
(cheering, applause)
2644
01:46:25,786 --> 01:46:28,522
(song ends)
2645
01:46:32,492 --> 01:46:35,029
-Bobby, I just have to
tell you... -In all my years,
2646
01:46:35,062 --> 01:46:36,496
I never thought I'd say this,
2647
01:46:36,530 --> 01:46:39,033
but, Debra Messing,
it'll have to wait.
2648
01:46:39,066 --> 01:46:41,068
(crowd gasping)
2649
01:46:41,102 --> 01:46:44,437
♪ ♪
2650
01:46:44,471 --> 01:46:47,440
(crowd murmuring)
2651
01:46:48,075 --> 01:46:49,644
What's wrong?
2652
01:46:49,677 --> 01:46:52,412
I just really love you.
2653
01:46:53,180 --> 01:46:54,715
I love you, too.
2654
01:46:54,749 --> 01:46:56,183
(macho voice):
You like love, bro?
2655
01:46:56,217 --> 01:46:57,652
Oh, yeah.
2656
01:47:00,621 --> 01:47:02,790
-(normal voice): Wait.
-Wha...
2657
01:47:02,823 --> 01:47:04,692
-(crowd murmuring)
-AARON: Oh.
2658
01:47:05,760 --> 01:47:08,461
-Oh, what are you...
-Just let me do this.
2659
01:47:08,495 --> 01:47:10,064
-Uh...
-Um...
2660
01:47:10,097 --> 01:47:11,832
Oh, shit. I need a ring.
2661
01:47:12,934 --> 01:47:15,136
-Uh, Bob-Bobby...
-Tamara, can I borrow your ring?
2662
01:47:15,169 --> 01:47:17,171
-Oh, yeah.
-Thank you.
2663
01:47:17,204 --> 01:47:19,206
-Bobby, I...
-Aaron Shepard,
2664
01:47:19,240 --> 01:47:22,510
I know we're not
relationship people...
2665
01:47:23,544 --> 01:47:25,546
...but will you date me
for three months,
2666
01:47:25,579 --> 01:47:26,948
and then we'll reassess?
2667
01:47:26,981 --> 01:47:29,817
(laughter)
2668
01:47:29,850 --> 01:47:32,219
Yes, Bobby Leiber, I will
date you for three months,
2669
01:47:32,253 --> 01:47:33,721
and then we can reassess.
2670
01:47:33,754 --> 01:47:35,623
-(Aaron laughs)
-(cheering, applause)
2671
01:47:38,592 --> 01:47:40,161
Mommy, what's happening?
2672
01:47:40,194 --> 01:47:41,796
It's a miracle.
2673
01:47:41,829 --> 01:47:43,998
Uncle Bobby's gonna
date someone for three months.
2674
01:47:44,031 --> 01:47:46,466
(cheering continues)
2675
01:47:52,840 --> 01:47:54,875
♪ ♪
2676
01:47:57,545 --> 01:47:58,512
-(beep)
-(upbeat music playing)
2677
01:47:58,546 --> 01:47:59,981
Hey, queers!
2678
01:48:00,014 --> 01:48:02,516
I'm the museum guard here.
2679
01:48:02,550 --> 01:48:04,151
Just gonna do some dusting.
2680
01:48:04,185 --> 01:48:05,586
(chuckles)
2681
01:48:05,619 --> 01:48:08,856
Hello.
What are you doing dusting me?
2682
01:48:08,889 --> 01:48:12,727
I'm lesbian first lady
Eleanor Roosevelt.
2683
01:48:12,760 --> 01:48:14,261
(chuckles)
2684
01:48:14,295 --> 01:48:17,598
Hi. I'm Seth Meyers
as Harvey Milk.
2685
01:48:17,631 --> 01:48:19,266
-Hello.
-(chuckles)
2686
01:48:19,300 --> 01:48:22,269
I'm Kenan Thompson
as James Baldwin.
2687
01:48:22,303 --> 01:48:25,873
It's a Night at the Gay Museum.
2688
01:48:25,906 --> 01:48:27,575
Come here.
2689
01:48:27,608 --> 01:48:30,611
♪ Everybody's free ♪
2690
01:48:30,644 --> 01:48:32,279
♪ To feel good ♪
2691
01:48:32,313 --> 01:48:34,281
("Everybody's Free (To Feel
Good)" by Kylie Minogue plays)
2692
01:48:34,315 --> 01:48:36,984
♪ Everybody's free ♪
2693
01:48:37,018 --> 01:48:38,252
♪ Yeah ♪
2694
01:48:38,285 --> 01:48:39,920
♪ To feel good ♪
2695
01:48:42,790 --> 01:48:44,692
♪ Brother and sister ♪
2696
01:48:44,725 --> 01:48:48,929
♪ Together
we'll make it through ♪
2697
01:48:50,631 --> 01:48:53,701
♪ Someday a spirit
will lift you ♪
2698
01:48:53,734 --> 01:48:57,705
♪ And take you there ♪
2699
01:48:57,738 --> 01:49:01,776
♪ Everybody's free ♪
2700
01:49:01,809 --> 01:49:04,645
-♪ To feel good. ♪
-(song fades)
2701
01:49:06,680 --> 01:49:08,716
-ANNE: Aaron?
-Mom.
2702
01:49:08,749 --> 01:49:09,917
Mm.
2703
01:49:09,950 --> 01:49:11,852
-Bobby.
-Hi.
2704
01:49:11,886 --> 01:49:14,321
Ah, Bobby, this is spectacular.
2705
01:49:14,355 --> 01:49:16,090
-Thank you.
-And the kids are loving it.
2706
01:49:16,123 --> 01:49:17,892
I'm so glad you're here.
It means so much to me
2707
01:49:17,925 --> 01:49:19,593
that you would make it
part of your trip.
2708
01:49:19,627 --> 01:49:21,095
-It really does.
-You were right.
2709
01:49:21,128 --> 01:49:23,330
Of course they should see this.
2710
01:49:23,364 --> 01:49:25,699
It's their history, too.
2711
01:49:27,268 --> 01:49:29,236
Congrats.
2712
01:49:29,270 --> 01:49:31,972
You're a four
on the Kinsey Scale.
2713
01:49:32,006 --> 01:49:33,674
You're a bisexual.
2714
01:49:34,275 --> 01:49:36,310
Well.
2715
01:49:36,343 --> 01:49:37,778
-Bye!
-Bye!
2716
01:49:37,812 --> 01:49:40,114
Thanks for teaching me
about Liberace!
2717
01:49:40,147 --> 01:49:42,950
-Anytime!
-(chuckles)
2718
01:49:43,884 --> 01:49:45,853
You know, we just hit
three months.
2719
01:49:45,886 --> 01:49:47,655
How do you think it's going?
2720
01:49:47,688 --> 01:49:49,857
I think it's going pretty well.
2721
01:49:49,890 --> 01:49:51,625
How do you think it's going?
2722
01:49:51,659 --> 01:49:53,127
I think it's going
pretty well, too.
2723
01:49:53,160 --> 01:49:55,229
Oh, good.
2724
01:49:55,262 --> 01:49:56,764
-Good job.
-Yeah.
2725
01:49:56,797 --> 01:49:59,233
-Bye, boys!
-Bye, Mom!
2726
01:49:59,266 --> 01:50:01,302
You want kids someday, right?
2727
01:50:01,335 --> 01:50:03,337
-No.
-Bobby.
2728
01:50:03,370 --> 01:50:04,371
-Absolutely not.
-Oh, Bobby.
2729
01:50:04,405 --> 01:50:05,372
No!
2730
01:50:05,406 --> 01:50:06,974
-Come on. Bobby.
-No! No!
2731
01:50:07,007 --> 01:50:08,809
-Where are you going?
-I'm not having children
2732
01:50:08,843 --> 01:50:10,644
-wherever I'm going!
-Oh, come on! I want kids!
2733
01:50:10,678 --> 01:50:12,313
-(grunting) -♪ God,
I wish I would have known ♪
2734
01:50:12,346 --> 01:50:14,148
♪ When I was younger ♪
2735
01:50:14,181 --> 01:50:19,120
♪ That I should've just danced
when I didn't want to ♪
2736
01:50:19,153 --> 01:50:21,722
♪ Hindsight's 20/20 ♪
2737
01:50:21,755 --> 01:50:24,825
♪ What's a boy to do ♪
2738
01:50:24,859 --> 01:50:31,132
♪ With a story in my head
that's never true? ♪
2739
01:50:31,165 --> 01:50:33,134
♪ Hindsight's 20/20 ♪
2740
01:50:33,167 --> 01:50:34,835
♪ Mistakes, broken plates ♪
2741
01:50:34,869 --> 01:50:36,804
♪ Backseat third base ♪
2742
01:50:36,837 --> 01:50:38,772
♪ Cried in public yesterday ♪
2743
01:50:38,806 --> 01:50:40,741
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
2744
01:50:40,774 --> 01:50:42,776
♪ Self-care, truth or dare ♪
2745
01:50:42,810 --> 01:50:44,411
♪ Acting like I don't care ♪
2746
01:50:44,445 --> 01:50:46,714
♪ Screaming match,
you were there ♪
2747
01:50:46,747 --> 01:50:48,349
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
2748
01:50:48,382 --> 01:50:52,386
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
2749
01:50:52,419 --> 01:50:54,355
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
2750
01:50:54,388 --> 01:50:56,857
♪ Hindsight's 20/20 ♪
2751
01:50:56,891 --> 01:51:00,694
♪ God, I wish I would've known
when I was younger ♪
2752
01:51:00,728 --> 01:51:05,833
♪ It's okay to smile
when you're finally happy ♪
2753
01:51:05,866 --> 01:51:08,836
♪ Hindsight's 20/20 ♪
2754
01:51:08,869 --> 01:51:12,373
♪ Reach for their hands
at the movie ♪
2755
01:51:12,406 --> 01:51:14,475
♪ Fall into someone ♪
2756
01:51:14,509 --> 01:51:17,311
♪ Let 'em have me ♪
2757
01:51:17,344 --> 01:51:19,780
♪ Yeah, hindsight's 20/20 ♪
2758
01:51:19,813 --> 01:51:22,983
♪ What's a boy to do ♪
2759
01:51:23,017 --> 01:51:29,190
♪ With a story in my head
that's never true? ♪
2760
01:51:29,223 --> 01:51:31,192
♪ Hindsight's 20/20 ♪
2761
01:51:31,225 --> 01:51:32,927
♪ Mistakes, broken plates ♪
2762
01:51:32,960 --> 01:51:34,929
♪ Backseat third base ♪
2763
01:51:34,962 --> 01:51:36,931
♪ Cried in public yesterday ♪
2764
01:51:36,964 --> 01:51:38,866
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
2765
01:51:38,899 --> 01:51:40,868
♪ Self-care, truth or dare ♪
2766
01:51:40,901 --> 01:51:42,770
♪ Acting like I don't care ♪
2767
01:51:42,803 --> 01:51:44,738
♪ Screaming match,
you were there ♪
2768
01:51:44,772 --> 01:51:46,473
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
2769
01:51:46,508 --> 01:51:50,444
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
2770
01:51:50,477 --> 01:51:52,413
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
2771
01:51:52,446 --> 01:51:54,415
♪ Hindsight's 20/20 ♪
2772
01:51:54,448 --> 01:51:58,352
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
2773
01:51:58,385 --> 01:52:00,221
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
2774
01:52:00,254 --> 01:52:02,823
♪ Hindsight's 20/20 ♪
2775
01:52:02,856 --> 01:52:06,360
♪ God, I wish I would've known
when I was younger ♪
2776
01:52:06,393 --> 01:52:11,432
♪ That I should've just danced
when I didn't want to. ♪
2777
01:52:11,465 --> 01:52:13,867
(song ends)
2778
01:52:15,135 --> 01:52:17,171
♪ ♪
2779
01:52:47,167 --> 01:52:49,203
♪ ♪
2780
01:53:19,199 --> 01:53:21,235
♪ ♪
2781
01:53:51,231 --> 01:53:53,267
♪ ♪
2782
01:54:23,263 --> 01:54:25,299
♪ ♪
2783
01:54:55,295 --> 01:54:57,331
♪ ♪
2784
01:55:20,320 --> 01:55:22,356
(music ends)